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1
00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:01,365
.
2
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:04,239
[dramatic music]
3
00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:11,282
*
4
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:16,148
- I hate Black Friday.
5
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:20,621
[upbeat music]
6
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,524
*
7
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,126
- Here we go.
8
00:00:24,158 --> 00:00:28,428
This is the Super Bowl
of retail.
9
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:30,462
There's a buzz in the air,
10
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:34,268
a charge that probably
doesn't read on camera.
11
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:38,212
Uh, but over here we have
the pre-opening potluck.
12
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,539
Every employee brings a dish,
13
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,814
much in the spirit of sharing.
14
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,553
Isn't that a delightful
tradition, Amy?
15
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,278
- Yeah, I love waking up
at 3:00 a.m.
16
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,854
to eat Sandra's cold
spinach casserole.
17
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,292
- It's meant to be served cold.
- Sorry.
18
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:52,549
- Okay, Garrett,
19
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,356
any advice
for my first Black Friday?
20
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,659
- Get that camera out my face.
21
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,830
- All right,
not a morning person.
22
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,229
Cheyenne, how about you?
23
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,331
How're you feeling?
24
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:02,162
- I'm okay.
25
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,296
I think I hit something
with my car,
26
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:06,202
but I was too tired to check.
27
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,574
- Well, that's alarming.
28
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,371
- Okay, attention, everyone.
29
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,573
Black Friday is the most
important day of the year.
30
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,176
And the key to getting
through it
31
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,478
is to stay calm.
32
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,209
No matter what happens,
33
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:20,175
I am gonna stay Obama cool.
34
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:23,324
Okay, Chris, we all know how you
feel about Obama.
35
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,551
You can stay
George W. Bush cool.
36
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:29,186
Remember how calm he was
on 9/11?
37
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,263
Well, not that this is
gonna be 9/11.
38
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,492
This is gonna be better
than 9/11.
39
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:35,597
No, why do I keep saying 9/11?
40
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,469
- What's 9/11?
41
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:38,568
- You didn't hear?
42
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,329
- All right, everybody,
focus up.
43
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,198
Today, you need to prepare
for the worst.
44
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,666
If you find yourself in a jam,
remember the word ACT:
45
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,375
Assess, Communicate,
Take Action.
46
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:49,408
Assess: assess the situation.
47
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,583
Communicate: communicate.
48
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,352
Take Action: take action.
49
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:55,622
I don't really need
to explain it.
50
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:56,819
Amy?
- Thank you, Deen.
51
00:01:56,850 --> 00:02:00,490
All right, I want a minimum
of five employees in each zone,
52
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:01,691
eight in Electronics,
53
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,592
obviously in rolling,
two-person pigeon teams.
54
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,734
All RMDs need to have
the right CPOs.
55
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:08,559
We'll assimilate any dead stock
for TKTs at the end of the day.
56
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:09,756
Got it?
all: Got it.
57
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,597
- Jonah, can you please be
in charge of tracking the UPTs
58
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,933
and logging them in the T7?
59
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,497
- Yes, I certainly can.
60
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,366
- I just made that up.
You're on spills and trash.
61
00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,235
- Cool.
- Okay, break.
62
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,243
[Yogi's "Burial"]
63
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,605
- * Hold up, this the game,
it chose us *
64
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,683
* Pioneer started on my corner
like the cold crush *
65
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,522
- You can do this.
You can do this.
66
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:29,248
- * Like a gold rush
67
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:30,583
* The sayin',
"Live fast and die young... *
68
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,288
- Black Friday? What?
69
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,650
Not afraid of you.
70
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,387
- * Perfect way that
showed us *
71
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,393
* Showed me how to burn
the block down *
72
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,625
* Before it slows up
73
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:43,259
* Before the window
of opportunity close up *
74
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,767
- Please, everybody keep back
and in line.
75
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,469
It's a fire hazard.
76
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,571
- Also, if anyone finds a green
hair thingy, it's mine.
77
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,674
I dropped it on the way in.
78
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,536
Green hair thingy.
- Super cute.
79
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:56,776
- Hey, any way you guys
could set aside
80
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,750
one of those 60-inch
flat-screens for me?
81
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:00,549
- Um, do you see this?
82
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,621
It's called a line.
83
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,279
So no, I can't.
84
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,587
- I'll give you 40 bucks.
85
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,288
- It wouldn't be fair.
86
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,260
- Each.
87
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,259
- Oh...
88
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,302
- Hey, Tate, how's it going?
89
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,598
- It's going fantastic.
- Great.
90
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,629
- Nobody gets their
prescriptions filled
91
00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,434
on Black Friday, so I got
all the time I want
92
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:20,697
to work on my screenplay.
93
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,444
- Oh.
- It's about a pharmacist,
94
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,440
obviously, who invents a pill
95
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,712
that allows you to use
all of your brain.
96
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:27,980
- Oh, like "Limitless."
97
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,038
- Not like "Limitless"!
All right.
98
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,576
Why do people keep saying
it's like "Limitless"?
99
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:34,782
It's inspired by "Limitless."
100
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,715
- Okay, uh, quick question.
101
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,290
Um, I'm trying to stay
relaxed today,
102
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,420
so Jerusha gave me these pills
103
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,385
that she got after
her train accident.
104
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,534
I just want to make sure
I won't get hooked.
105
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,000
- Alprazolam,
106
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,728
Good, good times.
107
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,734
Yeah, it's a low dose.
You should be okay.
108
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,296
- Oh, okay.
109
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,295
- Have you had anything
to drink today?
110
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:57,266
- Uh, just three mugs of juice.
111
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,265
- I think you'll be fine.
112
00:03:58,306 --> 00:03:59,506
- Okay.
113
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,742
No, I lied.
It was seven mugs.
114
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,807
I just didn't want you
to judge me.
115
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,776
- That's too much juice, Glenn.
116
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:12,815
- Pretend I'm not here.
117
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:16,363
- Why pretend when you could
really just not be here?
118
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,390
- You know, everybody here
is so jaded.
119
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,297
This is exciting!
This is fun.
120
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,729
This is, like, the closest
our country has
121
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,703
to the running with the bulls
in Pamplona.
122
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:26,732
- Ugh.
- Okay, I'll shut up, sorry.
123
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:30,467
- Wow, I just got really
nauseous all of a sudden.
124
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:31,714
- Nauseated.
125
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:32,869
I'm so sorry.
That's, like, a reflex a mine.
126
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,336
I'm working on it.
127
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,605
- It's weird.
I never get sick.
128
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:36,813
It's like when...
129
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:41,517
Finish this.
130
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,549
- Okay.
131
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:46,823
Mm-hmm...
132
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,524
mm-hmm.
133
00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:50,456
- No, I don't know for sure.
134
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,091
I'm just saying that I might be.
135
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:56,425
Yes, we did, in the photo lab
at work, remember?
136
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,774
Who cares who
initiated it, Adam?
137
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,829
- Wow.
138
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,838
- All right, everybody,
get ready.
139
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,570
Store is set to open
in exactly one minute.
140
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,806
60, 59...
141
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,641
- You don't have to say
all the numbers.
142
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,107
- 60, 61...
143
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,105
yeah, that's right.
144
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,106
I'm going up now.
145
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,417
- Okay, uh, one last thought
146
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,419
before we open
147
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,850
that if you apply--
148
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,545
[indistinct screaming]
149
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:21,918
Whoa, whoa.
150
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,464
- Yes, you can get pregnant
from that angle.
151
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,856
You can get pregnant
from any angle.
152
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,128
What?
153
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,765
No, I can't--
I can't hear you.
154
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:34,841
Ow!
155
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:38,871
- If I could just get
everybody describing
156
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,536
what Black Friday
means to them,
157
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:41,614
that would be gr--
158
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:44,552
Hey, that's a new camera.
159
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,448
- Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers.
160
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,750
Apparently Black Friday
has begun.
161
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,722
From all of us here
at Cloud 9,
162
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:55,819
.
163
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:58,893
[tense music]
164
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:02,956
*
165
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:05,426
- Okay, well, we're, uh,
only five minutes in,
166
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:07,666
and already the, uh,
beer tower display
167
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,501
got knocked over onto Miles,
168
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:13,407
so he's gone, and aisle 12 is
covered with blood and glass.
169
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,981
But, uh, it's all--
it's all good, boo.
170
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,479
I'm keeping it 100.
171
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,011
- That's not what that means.
- No?
172
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,176
- Um, Glenn, I'm feeling
a little bit sick.
173
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,554
- No, Amy, do not fall
apart on me, okay?
174
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,424
You just need to stay calm.
175
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:27,123
- I need to go.
- What?
176
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,163
- Attention, shoppers.
177
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:36,604
Cloud 9 brand tablets
are half off.
178
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,600
The Halo Fog has
an HD display
179
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:41,642
and boasts a battery life
of about 45 minutes.
180
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:42,899
- Hey, I need you
to work the register
181
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,096
while Tim's in the bathroom.
182
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,507
- Nah, I don't do registers.
183
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,139
- Look, I know that it's
really the hip thing
184
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,884
for you millennials
to not give a crap--
185
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,209
- That's not true,
and we're the same age,
186
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,654
but please, go on.
187
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:53,650
- It's all hands on deck,
188
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:54,651
so quit your Myspacing
189
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:55,722
and get on the register.
190
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,489
That's an order.
191
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,948
- All right.
192
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,546
Let me just finish
this announcement.
193
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:01,718
- Fine, but the second
you're done,
194
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,485
I want you on register three.
195
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,894
- The second I'm done.
196
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,726
You can also view
thousands of movies
197
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,601
on the Halo Fog.
198
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:10,960
I will now list some
of the movies
199
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,498
that are probably on there.
200
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:16,103
"Mrs. Doubtfire,"
"Silence of the Lambs,"
201
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,506
that one where Nicolas Cage
switches faces
202
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,569
and says he's gonna
eat a peach for hours...
203
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:21,638
ooh, "Forrest Gump."
204
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,835
That's a good movie.
205
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,976
- Excuse me, do you have any
more of these espresso makers
206
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,052
in the back?
207
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,679
- I think so, yeah.
208
00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,676
- Okay, could you get me one?
209
00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:33,488
- It's all the way in the back.
210
00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:36,521
- Yeah, a lot of people
need stuff right now.
211
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,057
How do we decide
who to help first?
212
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,591
Is it you?
Is it them?
213
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:41,527
You, them?
214
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,602
You?
215
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,004
Ew, no.
216
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,065
I want a bribe.
217
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,214
- Oh, God.
218
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,069
Hey, Tate.
- What?
219
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,977
- Um, do you have any extra
pregnancy tests back here?
220
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,580
- Of course.
Why do you need them?
221
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,477
Oh. [laughing]
222
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,045
Mm-mm-mm!
223
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,116
Someone's a dirty bird.
224
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,215
Didn't think you had it in you.
225
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,287
- Oh, no, I mean, I wouldn't
call myself a filmmaker,
226
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,285
like, capital F.
227
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,356
- Oh, is this for you?
228
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,104
- We'll see how it all cuts
together in the end.
229
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:18,129
- Extra dirty for
a naughty little girl.
230
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,065
- Okay, you pervert,
just give me the pregnancy test!
231
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,096
No, this wasn't--
- Oh, I-I was just--
232
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,037
- I had to keep--
- I didn't--
233
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,612
Sucks we lost
the Rams, huh?
234
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,110
- Oh, I'm looking
for a little girl.
235
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,717
She has a big bow in her hair.
236
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,319
She's carrying
a Baby Fashion Girl.
237
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,250
- Okay, relax,
we're gonna find her.
238
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,056
The important thing to do,
though, is stay calm.
239
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:45,159
And see?
There she is, doing fine.
240
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,592
It's all good.
241
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:47,657
- Thank God.
242
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,325
Trevor, we got
a Baby Fashion Girl!
243
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,632
- [crying]
244
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:59,143
- And then Jenny dies
245
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,312
of what is implied to be AIDS.
246
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,241
But we don't know.
247
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:04,845
And he puts Haley Joel Osment
on a bus,
248
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:05,678
and guess what?
249
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,823
Same bus driver
from the beginning.
250
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,148
- What are you
still doing here?
251
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,582
You're supposed to be
on the register.
252
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:11,818
- You said I could
finish the announcement.
253
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,122
- Yeah, that was
ten minutes ago.
254
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,293
- It's a very long announcement.
255
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,322
Next up, "Apollo 13."
256
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,757
- I see what you're doing here.
257
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,162
- In this film,
Tom Hanks is a spaceman
258
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,704
whose life is saved
by a bunch of nerds.
259
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,741
- Were you just
waiting for me?
260
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,340
- N-no, I didn't even
know you were...
261
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:32,841
I was just checking out
the fliers here.
262
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,083
Sal's looking for a roommate,
so that's, uh...
263
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,208
- [sighs] It's negative.
264
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,253
I am not pregnant.
265
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:41,308
- Oh, I'm so sorry--
266
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,178
or happy for you.
267
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:45,685
I don't--whatever applies
to your--you.
268
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,119
- Well, it's complicated,
269
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,324
'cause, you know, at first
I was really panicked,
270
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,156
and, I don't know, I started
having other feelings...
271
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,291
- Oh, God,
- And I'm just trying to--
272
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,656
Okay, dick, sorry
I'm boring you.
273
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,196
- No, no, it's not--
274
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,830
I--I just suddenly...
275
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,311
- Out of my way, Rodriguez.
276
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,368
- Oh.
277
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,682
- Okay, everyone,
here's the sitch:
278
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,047
it appears that everyone
in the store
279
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:21,416
got very ill from
food poisoning,
280
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,264
probably from our potluck.
281
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,330
Oh well, sacré bleu.
282
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,358
You know, stuff happens.
283
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,204
As you can see, though,
I am, uh--
284
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,959
I am staying very calm.
285
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,068
I took a pill.
286
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,699
I don't think it
did anything, though.
287
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,998
Oh, I like this store.
288
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,267
- I just wanna go home.
289
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,235
- I can't do this.
290
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,312
I'm one of those people
who hates being sick.
291
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,711
- Hot take, Mateo.
292
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,753
All right, we've lost
half our staff.
293
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,148
We are what's left.
294
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,219
Sandra, you're off of go-backs.
295
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,948
I need you to cross-check
Housewares.
296
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:50,953
Heather and Brett,
297
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,094
you guys are on opposite
puking cycles, right?
298
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,690
So you can switch off.
299
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:57,362
And, um, Myrtle, I'm gonna
need you to start folding,
300
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,760
like, 1,000 times faster.
301
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:03,003
- You got it.
Full steam ahead!
302
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,980
- And then there's the one
where Tom Hanks
303
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,809
is in the airport
the whole time.
304
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,005
Honestly, I checked out
on that one.
305
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,317
Anybody see "Sully"?
306
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,749
I didn't.
307
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,194
Ugh, I don't feel so hot.
308
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,388
I got to take a break, y'all.
309
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,161
Oh.
310
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,389
- If you're done with
the announcement,
311
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,733
register three
could use a hand.
312
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:34,259
See?
I don't give up.
313
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,804
- Neither do I.
314
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,066
Don't forget about
"Polar Express."
315
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,401
Merry Christmas, kids.
316
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,765
It's a nightmare.
317
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,178
- Excuse me.
318
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,249
[walkie-talkie buzzes]
- Amy, uh, I need your key
319
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,488
to the razor case.
320
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,122
- Yeah, okay,
just give me a sec.
321
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,327
I'm in... Bedding.
322
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,029
- Roger.
323
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,402
- Amy?
324
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,770
- Jonah?
325
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,430
- Hey.
326
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,837
- Yeah, the line in the ladies'
room was really long, so--
327
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:18,671
- Got it.
No, no, no.
328
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:22,435
Please, uh, make your...self
at home.
329
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,250
- Thanks.
330
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:28,418
- Hey, uh, you know why they
call it Black Friday?
331
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,448
- We really don't have
to make conversation.
332
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,553
- Okay, okay, cool.
333
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,794
- We can just...
- Yep.
334
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,120
- Be quiet.
- Okay.
335
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,115
That's fine.
336
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:39,156
Total silence.
337
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:41,492
[indistinct yelling]
338
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,198
- And then the volleyball
floats away.
339
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,171
And weirdly,
you're sad about it.
340
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,469
At least I was.
341
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,200
- Oh. [sighs]
342
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,466
I feel like my insides are
crawling through my skin.
343
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:52,844
Can I have a sip of that?
344
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,443
- Sure.
345
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:55,844
20 bucks.
346
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,136
- For a sip of Pepto?
347
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,577
I'll just go buy my own.
348
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:02,481
- You know, I think someone
already bought them all.
349
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:03,875
- Hm.
Well, well, well.
350
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,487
Who's all grown up?
351
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:07,118
- It's called war profiteering.
352
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,294
I learned about it
in Social Studies.
353
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,471
- I'm relieved, by the way,
about not being pregnant.
354
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:24,341
- Oh.
- You were asking earlier, so--
355
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,441
- Oh, oh, uh, good.
356
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,343
Yeah, no, I--
I don't blame you.
357
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,375
That's--one child is--
is enough.
358
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:34,381
- I've always thought I wanted,
like, two or three.
359
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,448
- Oh.
360
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,353
- Yeah, I mean, I think
maybe I still do,
361
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:42,486
just not with...
362
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:44,392
with, you know, everything
363
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,894
that's going on
in the world, and...
364
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,631
- Yeah, it's, uh--
365
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,262
it's complicated times.
366
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,898
- So complicated.
367
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,197
- I-I don't mean to rush you,
368
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:59,406
but you see yourself
being done anytime soon?
369
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,209
- No, I'm waiting
for you to be done.
370
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,341
- Well, that's unfortunate,
371
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,235
because I was waiting
for you, so...
372
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,377
- [sighs] God.
373
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,182
- "Da Vinci Code," too long.
374
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,984
"Bridge of Spies," too boring.
375
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,447
I can't do this anymore.
376
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:13,585
E-readers are half price.
377
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,490
Garrett out.
378
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,562
[indistinct yelling]
379
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,956
[overlapping speech]
- Stop it!
380
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:27,403
- This is the dark night
of our souls--
381
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,274
a portrait of hopelessness.
382
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,342
A...
383
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:32,368
[metal clangs]
384
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,965
Wow, we've lost Brett.
385
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,907
- Okay, guys,
I know we're bare bones,
386
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:37,383
but we can still make this work.
387
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,680
If Sandra could triple-cover
Camping, Menswear,
388
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,623
and Softlines--Sandra,
you can do that, right?
389
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,279
- I guess if my knees
were normal,
390
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:46,017
but three different
doctors said--
391
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,593
- Oh, so we're all
back here, huh?
392
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,021
- We're just taking
a little break.
393
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,417
We'll get out there in a sec.
394
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:54,328
- It's fine.
- Are you not feeling sick?
395
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,631
- Oh, no, I feel terrible.
396
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,602
Worst I've ever felt.
397
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:59,330
Hey, if we're all back here,
398
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,966
who's watching the floor?
399
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:03,542
- Whoa.
Hold on, man.
400
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,010
Hold on, man.
Wait. You got to stand in line.
401
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:08,209
[bell dinging]
402
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,641
[crashing]
403
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:12,708
- Form an orderly line.
404
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,675
Hey, one TV per family.
405
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,284
Listen, lady, I'm putting
your face in my memory palace.
406
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,717
Eyes too far apart,
stringy hair.
407
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,392
Ethnic nose.
408
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,561
This isn't over!
409
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,760
Oh, it's over.
410
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:28,431
- Oh, and then we just need
Herman to cover everything.
411
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,961
- Herman hasn't worked here
in six months.
412
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,027
- Fine, then, you know what?
413
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,504
I don't know how
to make this work.
414
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:33,732
- If it makes you
feel any better,
415
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,536
this is probably
all your fault.
416
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,738
That stuffing you made
tasted like burnt hair.
417
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,470
- My stuffing is not
what made us sick.
418
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:44,007
If anything, it was probably
Dina's weird tofu turkey thing.
419
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,284
- You know what's weird?
420
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:46,582
Eating the flesh off
of a bird's bones,
421
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,613
you savage.
422
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:48,617
- Why are you so weird?
423
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,678
- Why is everyone being
so mean to each other?
424
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:51,747
- Guys...
425
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,994
[overlapping speech]
426
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,391
- Okay, Amy, now is not--
- Guys!
427
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:58,393
This is what Black Friday wants!
428
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:00,055
- That is a family recipe
429
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,593
with a secret ingredient.
430
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,728
- But this is not what
Black Friday is gonna get!
431
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,774
- Oh, cinnamon?
Boring.
432
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,539
- And we are gonna
overcome this,
433
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,298
because there is abso...
- Jonah?
434
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,707
Could you please
shut the [bleep] up?
435
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,709
And that goes for all
of you [bleep].
436
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,611
I can't listen to your [bleep]
437
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:21,483
for one more [bleep]damn
[bleep] second.
438
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,548
Did something just happen?
439
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:30,887
.
440
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,058
- [retching]
441
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,162
- I have a terrible
headache, Mateo.
442
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,764
Can you please barf quieter?
443
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,655
- Ugh, could you be
a bitch quieter?
444
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:41,097
- Okay, I called Corporate
to ask for help,
445
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:43,244
and turns out they're
closed today
446
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,700
'cause it's a holiday.
447
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,767
- So what do we do?
448
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,036
- I say we bail.
449
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,275
- Okay.
450
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,239
- Wait, what?
Really?
451
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,747
- Yeah, even if everyone
in here felt great,
452
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,179
we still don't have enough
people to cover the floor.
453
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:59,145
- So we just abandon the store?
454
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,386
- Black Friday broke us.
455
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,690
- All right, I'm calling it.
456
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:05,132
Time of death, 11:13 p.m.
457
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,658
Just let it all burn.
458
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,793
- [sighs]
459
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,657
- Wait, we're just
gonna leave?
460
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,356
- It was your idea to bail.
461
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,298
- Yeah, I suggest that
every Friday.
462
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,303
Even you, Dina?
You said you'd never give up.
463
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,695
- I also said I'd never vomit
on a toddler's head.
464
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,337
Lot of firsts today.
465
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,754
- Hold up. Wait.
466
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,750
Yo, I don't like working here.
467
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,123
- Okay.
468
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,192
- But it's my job.
469
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,661
I do the bare minimum,
470
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,218
but I don't do less than that.
471
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:40,257
And I'm not about to let
a bunch of deal-hungry rubes
472
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:43,233
trash our store and make me
feel bad for Dina,
473
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,403
which I did not think
was possible.
474
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,702
So I'ma get out there,
and I'ma finish my shift.
475
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,244
And yeah, I'ma cut corners,
476
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,740
and I'ma phone it in,
477
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,671
but it'll never be said
that Garrett McNeill
478
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,137
did not do just enough
479
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,736
to not get fired.
480
00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,747
[Jungle's "Busy Earnin'"]
481
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:07,790
*
482
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,296
Move it!
483
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:18,198
*
484
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:21,301
[retching]
485
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,244
- * So you come a long way
486
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,310
- Open.
487
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:28,808
- * Ooh-ooh, but you'll
never have me *
488
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,781
* Never have things
489
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,350
* For a normal life
490
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:37,680
* It's time to busy earnin'
491
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,287
* You can't get enough
492
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,149
- Aisle seven. 30 days.
Home and Garden.
493
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:42,258
Dairy factory-farmed.
494
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,319
We don't sell wigs anymore.
495
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,416
That's not your color.
496
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,727
*
497
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,930
- * You can't get enough
498
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,202
- Heather,
reconfigure the LPOs,
499
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,332
and then move 'em to the PRC.
500
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,796
*
501
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,774
- Boom.
- * This busy earnin'
502
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,513
- Henry, get all the UPTs
503
00:18:58,538 --> 00:18:59,908
out of the green zone.
504
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,269
If you run into a jam,
505
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:04,878
radio a 62V for a DPR, got it?
506
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:07,211
All right, break!
507
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,517
- Wow.
- Yeah.
508
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:09,518
- That was impressive.
509
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:10,919
- Didn't know I had it in me.
510
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,320
- I mean, none of it
meant anything,
511
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,952
but the confidence
is inspiring.
512
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,217
*
513
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,227
- Have a heavenly day.
514
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,229
Next!
515
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,930
- Attention, shoppers,
the store is now closed.
516
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,802
Not, like, "Bring your items
to the front" closed.
517
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,371
I mean, like,
"Get the hell out."
518
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,439
Thank you.
519
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,698
Oh, also, if anyone happens to
find a little green hair thing,
520
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,268
it's mine.
521
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:37,376
- Thank you so much for shopping
at Cloud 9.
522
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:41,310
- Oh, sir, you accidentally
drove over my daughter's doll!
523
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,818
- Not accidentally.
524
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,294
- * You can't get enough
525
00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:50,924
[quiet pop music]
526
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:53,757
*
527
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,833
- I hate Black Friday.
528
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,562
- I can't move.
529
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,997
- Me neither.
530
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,831
- Hey, Myrtle.
531
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,027
Myrtle!
532
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:05,438
Could somebody poke Myrtle
and see if she's still alive?
533
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:06,842
- Does it really matter?
534
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,343
- I guess not.
- [whistling]
535
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:12,506
Oof. TGIF, right, guys?
536
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,817
- Hey, where's Amy?
537
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,549
- Hi, it's me.
538
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:19,785
Sorry I haven't called all day.
539
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,489
It's been a frickin' zoo here.
540
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:25,361
Um, I took the test,
and don't worry.
541
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,462
I'm not happy.
542
00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:28,363
I mean... pregnant.
543
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,255
I'm not pregnant.
544
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:37,003
Or... maybe I'm not happy.
545
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:38,306
I--I don't know.
546
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,508
Um...
547
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,940
Adam, we should talk.
548
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:52,319
- Look who works
register after all.
549
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:53,352
- Dina, I can't.
550
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,346
Whatever issue
you have with me
551
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:56,357
can wait till tomorrow, so...
552
00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:57,919
- * If you're lost,
you can look *
553
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:00,557
* And you will find it
554
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,403
* Time after time
555
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,470
* If you fall,
I will catch you *
556
00:21:05,498 --> 00:21:07,328
* I will be waiting
557
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,397
- Kind of wish I hadn't spent
the whole day puking.
558
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,836
- Yeah, me too.
559
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:12,070
Find every breath mint
left in the store,
560
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,044
and meet me in the photo lab.
561
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:16,643
Ten minutes,
or I start without you.
562
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,906
- A lot of firsts today.
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