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1
00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:01,199
.
2
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,139
- Today is a high-alert day.
3
00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:04,471
I can't stress enough
the importance
4
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:05,505
of being vigilant and cautious
5
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:09,139
in light of the serious threats
we'll be facing.
6
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,137
- Dina's right.
7
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:12,048
So everybody keep an eye out
8
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,150
for anything
out of the ordinary.
9
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:15,322
Okay? Good.
10
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,249
- Let's watch out for people
buying toilet paper, eggs,
11
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:19,586
shaving cream, ketchup,
12
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,390
your squeezables,
your squirtables--
13
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,462
everything is a weapon
today, okay?
14
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,591
- What about guns?
- Those are fine.
15
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,056
Incidentally,
that costume is ridiculous.
16
00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,496
Professor X doesn't
drink martinis.
17
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,270
- [with British accent]
Yes, but James Bond does.
18
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,270
- Ugh.
19
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:34,201
- Oh, come on, Dina.
20
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,265
Stop being the Halloween
version of Scrooge,
21
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:37,274
whatever that is.
22
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,365
Oh, Booge!
23
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,437
Boo, Scrooge.
I just thought of that.
24
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:42,535
- Yeah, don't be
such a Booge.
25
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:43,806
Put on a costume.
26
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,854
all: Yeah, don't be a Booge!
27
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,750
- Ooh, peer pressure
28
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:49,551
from a group of people
I don't respect.
29
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,293
Now, that's scary.
30
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,089
I mean, I can't believe
I'm saying this,
31
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,091
but Sandra's the only
other grown-up here.
32
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:58,093
- Actually, I am dressed up.
I'm you.
33
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,197
- What?
- "Shut up, Sandra."
34
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:02,529
- Shut up, Sandra!
- [laughs]
35
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:03,863
- Oh, my God, that's so cool.
36
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,097
You're gonna be twinsies.
- No, we're not.
37
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:08,274
- Wait, you guys
should stand together all day.
38
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,242
- I'm up for it.
39
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:12,140
- Yeah, I'm gonna find
a costume to put on.
40
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,473
- [coughing] Booge.
41
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:17,107
[soft upbeat music]
42
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:19,375
- So let's keep an eye out
for teens, tweens,
43
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,383
people who look inappropriately
large or small...
44
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:26,894
Are you guys
even listening to me?
45
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,190
Hello?
46
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,622
[indistinct murmuring]
- Nothing.
47
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,127
- Yep, got it.
48
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:34,129
[upbeat music]
49
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,662
*
50
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,226
[spooky music]
51
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,326
[wicked laughter]
52
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:44,168
- It's a...
interesting costume.
53
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:47,475
- Yeah, you know, what's crazy
are those--the boots.
54
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,878
- Boots.
Yes, definitely the boots.
55
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,250
- I cannot stop staring
at her giant breasts.
56
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,351
- You know,
now that you say it...
57
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:56,683
- There is a lot
of décolletage, yes.
58
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:57,687
- I'm seeing it.
59
00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,348
- You guys, relax.
60
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,457
We all think
she looks hot, okay?
61
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,219
- No, not me.
[laughs]
62
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,887
I mean, maybe with another
personality in that body, sure,
63
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:09,296
ta-dow, but you got to factor in
the Dina that lies beneath.
64
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,170
- Not so fast.
65
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:12,599
I want to know exactly
what you're planning
66
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,643
to do with this toilet paper.
67
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,698
- Uh, I'll take extra bacon,
extra cheese,
68
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,637
and if you can,
make it extra quick,
69
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,382
'cause this outlaw
needs to get his grub on.
70
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,239
- Boo!
- Jeff.
71
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:24,677
- Hey.
- What are you doing here?
72
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:26,912
- Oh, uh, there was a stabbing
at the Kirkwood store.
73
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,747
Well, that's boring,
but, you know,
74
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:33,523
I'm in town till tomorrow, so,
you know, I'm free tonight if--
75
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:34,724
I know it's last-minute,
but...
76
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,285
- Please, last-minute is fine.
[chuckles]
77
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,325
It's not like I'm one of those
people who can't go on a date
78
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,530
unless he, you know,
works out
79
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,961
and waxes and plucks
and bleaches--
80
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,196
got to plan at least
two or three outfits.
81
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:47,542
- Good. All right, well, then
I'll pick you up after work.
82
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,698
- That sounds great.
- Right?
83
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,696
- Jeff?
- Hey.
84
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,408
- Hey.
To what do we owe this honor?
85
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:55,681
- Oh, um, well,
I just came--
86
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,649
- Oh, right,
the Kirkwood stabbing.
87
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,648
I heard about that.
That poor nun.
88
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,951
- Not actually a real nun,
by the way--
89
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,423
just a woman in a costume.
90
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,552
- But still, stabbed
right in the face--oh.
91
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,557
Yeah.
- Terrible Halloween.
92
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:11,559
- Hey, did you see?
I'm a hot dog.
93
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,432
- I did.
- Yeah.
94
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:17,672
- * I want you in my life
95
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,368
* For all time
96
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,771
*
97
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,573
- Happy Halloween!
Bye!
98
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,736
- [laughs] I love
how into Halloween you are.
99
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,705
- Oh, my God, it's
my favorite day of the year.
100
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,683
And later, I get to go
trick-or-treating with Emma,
101
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:32,812
which is the best.
102
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:33,746
- Hmm.
103
00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:36,351
- Oh, and it doesn't get
any cuter than this.
104
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,594
- Left and right and whoo-whoo!
105
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,589
Come on, keep doing
the candy dance.
106
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,591
Left and right and--
107
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,563
Oh, look, it's working!
108
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:47,462
It's working!
Way to go!
109
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,495
- Ma'am, you realize
that candy from strangers
110
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,600
can contain razor blades
and heroin needles, right?
111
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,272
- I'm sorry?
112
00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,341
- Dina, again,
113
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,739
I did not put heroin needles
in the candy.
114
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:58,871
- I'm not saying you did.
115
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,336
I'm just saying, best-case
scenario: free chocolate bar.
116
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:02,775
Worst-case scenario:
"Trainspotting."
117
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,550
- Okay.
Thanks anyway.
118
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:07,454
- That's what I thought.
119
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,821
- You have to stop
harassing the customers.
120
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,620
- I will not apologize
for my commitment
121
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,722
to our customers' safety.
122
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:17,294
- Dina, don't make me have to--
- What?
123
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,385
- What would you do
if you were me?
124
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:20,427
- Oh, Glenn, if I was you,
125
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,701
I would've killed myself
years ago.
126
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,399
- Okay.
- Dina?
127
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:26,301
You know, I think I saw
some really sketchy types
128
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,674
headed for the stockroom.
129
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:28,601
- Sounds suspicious.
130
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,636
- Yeah, they were--
they were carrying, uh,
131
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,771
toilet paper
and shaving cream.
132
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,766
- What?
133
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:34,837
Those are exactly
the things
134
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,505
I said to look out for.
135
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,584
It's like I just talk to myself
in this store.
136
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,523
- Thanks, Amy.
137
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,749
I was really gonna
let her have it.
138
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,524
- Has anyone noticed anything
out of the ordinary back here?
139
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:48,464
- Well, it's Halloween,
so everything's
140
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,759
kind of out of the ordinary.
141
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,560
- Get out of my way, Janay.
142
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,293
- It's Janet.
143
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,799
- Why is this unlocked?
144
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,670
Janay, who unlocked this?
145
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:03,340
- * Caught up in the rapture
of love *
146
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,711
*
147
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,078
- Funny,
I've never been, uh--
148
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,349
never been assigned
here before.
149
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,609
- Hmm.
150
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,906
- Jewelry's a real
can of worms
151
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,777
in terms of feminism,
you know?
152
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,646
[chuckles]
153
00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:18,815
- Uh-huh.
154
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,559
- [inhales sharply]
This is great.
155
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:23,860
This is great,
us working together.
156
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,091
I feel like we never really
had the chance to--to--
157
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,726
to bond, really.
158
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,602
- Yeah, totally.
159
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,811
- Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers,
160
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,440
I vant to suck your blood
161
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,136
and test it for diabetes.
162
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,877
At-home insulin kits
are now half off.
163
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,524
Are you looking
for spook-tacular savings?
164
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,850
Because Cloud 9 has it all.
165
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,655
You can get, um, the--
166
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,718
[stammers]
167
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,891
[gulps]
Uh...
168
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,557
Attention, shoppers,
I vant to suck your blood.
169
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,726
Oh, I did that one.
170
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,874
Oh.
- Everybody freeze!
171
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,769
There's been an employee theft
in the store.
172
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,672
Nobody can leave.
I repeat, no one.
173
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:15,875
Well, sorry, I-I actually
just meant the employees.
174
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,949
Customers can leave.
175
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:21,448
So...unfreeze.
176
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,686
You okay?
You look sick.
177
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,790
- Sick?
Yeah, I'm sick.
178
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,801
- At 8:24, a crate of irregular
produce was put in the cage
179
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,630
to be returned to fulfillment
and destroyed.
180
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:39,826
Now it's missing.
- I'm sorry.
181
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,797
Irregular produce?
You mean rotten?
182
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,606
- No, what I'm talking about is
lumps, bumps, extra appendages,
183
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,839
apples that look like pears,
pears that look like guavas.
184
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:50,435
- So we're just throwing away
perfectly good food
185
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,708
because it's ugly?
186
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,505
- Looks matter, Jonah.
187
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,677
You should know that, being
the prettiest person in here.
188
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,847
- I will be interrogating
each and every one of you.
189
00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:01,186
No one leaves until I find out
who did it.
190
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,191
- Ugh, come on.
- No.
191
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,522
- No!
- What?
192
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,557
- No, you can't just
keep us here.
193
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,562
I'm going trick-or-treating
with my daughter.
194
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,764
- Yeah, I have a date...
uh, with a good book.
195
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:11,466
- I'm going to a screening
of "Nosferatu" at the Tivoli,
196
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:12,529
if anybody wants to come.
197
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,866
- Wow, that sounds
really terrible.
198
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,472
- Okay, listen, none of this
is my problem.
199
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,744
Justice does not stop
for your plans.
200
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,642
- Glenn, you're not gonna
let her do this to us, right?
201
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:21,784
- Absolutely not.
202
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,639
- Interrogations
start immediately.
203
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:26,147
- Well, if it's
already starting...
204
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,649
- Man.
205
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,651
["Halloween" theme music]
206
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:35,694
*
207
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:38,994
- So, Amy Dubanowski.
208
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:43,756
Perfect, perfect, perfect,
perfect Amy Dubanowski.
209
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,527
- Why would I steal
a crate of fruit?
210
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,726
- I don't know.
211
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,737
I mean, clearly you've been
having trouble making ends meet:
212
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,539
neglecting your
personal hygiene,
213
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,511
the old clothes,
busted-up shoes,
214
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,240
the ratty hair,
hints of meth mouth.
215
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:55,544
- Okay, I'm leaving.
216
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:56,806
- Uh-uh, you're not
going anywhere
217
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,614
until you answer
all of my questions.
218
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,251
Did you take the fruit?
- No.
219
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,852
- Then you can go.
220
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:05,945
By the way...
221
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:06,746
- What?
222
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,887
- That headpiece
looks great on you.
223
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:12,262
- Oh. Thank you.
224
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:16,002
- Topics, topics, topics...
225
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:19,529
Oh, uh, who do you think
stole the produce?
226
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:22,597
- I was thinking, okay,
maybe Marcus.
227
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,666
He's been to prison before
for public peeing.
228
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,576
- Really?
229
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:31,238
Well, I was thinking Mary,
230
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:34,278
because I heard
that she's drinking again.
231
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,584
- No.
232
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,986
- Mm-hmm.
[chuckles]
233
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,818
- Alcohol?
234
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,663
- I think so, yeah.
235
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,572
- It's the--it's the bun.
236
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,771
[Violent Femmes'
"Gone Daddy Gone"]
237
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,913
- I can't help but notice
that you're sweating.
238
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,838
Got any secrets
you'd like to share?
239
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:01,684
- No.
240
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,839
- You know, some thieves
have a tell--
241
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,807
like talking with your hand
over your mouth.
242
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,006
- Oh.
243
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,848
- You don't have the courage
or the intelligence
244
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,094
to have stolen anything.
245
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,849
- Then why are you even
talking to me?
246
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,657
- I just wanted you
to know that.
247
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,589
- Did I steal the fruit?
No.
248
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,855
Was it an act of civil
disobedience that I admire?
249
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:20,893
Yes.
250
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,728
Do I know who stole it?
251
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,733
No.
252
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,734
- Stop interrogating yourself.
253
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,066
- Maybe you put the fruit
somewhere and forgot.
254
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,741
One time, I texted Bo
that I couldn't find my phone,
255
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:33,341
and then he's like "Hey, dummy,
what are you texting me on?"
256
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:37,853
And I'm like "Oh, yeah, right.
Goofy face emoji."
257
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,008
- * Eyes will turn blue
258
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,277
- [grunts]
259
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,284
What was that?
260
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,975
- Do I like fruit?
Yes.
261
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,747
What's my favorite fruit?
Tropical.
262
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,017
Be more specific.
263
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:49,985
Mango.
264
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,993
- There's something about you
I just don't trust.
265
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,055
*
266
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,064
- * Gone away
267
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,025
- Okay.
Let's do this.
268
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,025
- Did you steal the fruit?
- No.
269
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,027
- You can go.
270
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,738
- * Gone away
271
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,100
- What if she doesn't
find out who did it?
272
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,067
- Can she just
keep us here all night?
273
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,066
- No!
274
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,077
I have to be home
in an hour
275
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,378
to trick-or-treat
with Emma.
276
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:10,709
[sighs]
277
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,782
[gasps]
278
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:17,994
[whispering] Will all employees
please meet me in the warehouse
279
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,848
for a secret meeting?
280
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:22,417
Don't tell Dina.
281
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,855
Secret meeting.
282
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,791
- Smart.
283
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,756
- We all have plans
tonight, right?
284
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:28,925
- Yeah.
- Why you looking at me?
285
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,832
I don't have any plans.
Why...
286
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,935
- Okay, well, plans or no plans,
whoever took the fruit
287
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,798
should just give it back,
288
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,937
and we'll just tell Dina
that it was misplaced.
289
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,012
Okay?
- Yes.
290
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,010
- Yeah?
- Okay.
291
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,011
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.
292
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,042
- Great.
293
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,876
So who took it?
294
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,784
Come on, guys.
295
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:49,746
No one's perfect.
296
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:52,823
I used to shoplift from the mall
all the time.
297
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,963
Mostly black lipstick.
I was going through a phase.
298
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,688
But we all do things we regret.
So...
299
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,855
- I'm not even a member
of the Sierra Club.
300
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,393
I just put the sticker
on my bumper.
301
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,698
- I don't pay taxes.
302
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,100
- I catfished my school nurse,
303
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,931
and she ended up
moving to Australia
304
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,736
to meet a picture
of Michael Fassbender
305
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:08,898
when he was young.
306
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:12,436
- Okay, does anybody want
to confess to taking the fruit?
307
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,182
- I have some questions
about what Cheyenne said.
308
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,980
- Fine.
Forget it.
309
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,123
- She works at a smoothie stand
on the beach now.
310
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:24,079
- Hmm.
- I think she's happy.
311
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:30,117
- * I believe you can get me
through the night *
312
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:34,462
- Hey, man, if Dina asks
where I am, cover for me.
313
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,064
- Why? What's going on?
314
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:39,066
- Between us, I can't be
around Dina in that costume.
315
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,969
It's like,
my rational brain says
316
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,201
that's the same crazy fascist
317
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,095
that physically removed gum
from my mouth,
318
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,907
but my caveman brain
says, "Hey, man, boobs."
319
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,811
It's very confusing.
320
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:53,513
- You could just
not look at her...
321
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,876
- Have you seen my eye line?
It's unavoidable.
322
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:59,217
- Fair enough.
- Just keep it on the DL.
323
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:02,792
- All right, I got you, son.
- Oh, God, don't say that.
324
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:09,028
- Guess who has a crush
on Dina.
325
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,802
- You?
326
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,071
- I called around
to other stores.
327
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,499
Obviously, Kirkwood's a no-go
with the whole stabbing thing.
328
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,974
But Chesterfield doesn't go
through their produce
329
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,043
till Friday.
330
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,910
- We'll get their uglies.
Good idea.
331
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,241
Hang on.
332
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,805
Oh.
333
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,246
Uh, I can't reach my wallet.
334
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,520
There's a slit between the meat
and the bun,
335
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,519
if you could just
snake your hand in.
336
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,251
- Um, I'll buy it.
- Okay, thanks.
337
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:37,257
- The only problem is that Dina
put a guard at the door.
338
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,990
- What?
339
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,193
What do we do?
340
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:44,098
- We need to come up
with some kind of plan.
341
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:50,069
- Oh!
[giggling]
342
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,144
[mischievous music]
343
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,181
- Whoa.
344
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:03,182
This place is lame on a stick.
345
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,576
- Really? I don't think
it looks that different.
346
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,587
- Seriously?
347
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,388
They've got bedding
348
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,359
where the jewelry's
supposed to be.
349
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,418
It's like, what?
350
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,457
- Okay.
Produce, produce, produce.
351
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,362
- It should be aisle ten.
- Okay.
352
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,504
- What?
353
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,302
Look how dim it is.
354
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,804
What is this, a nightclub?
355
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:26,842
- Whoa.
356
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,314
This is wildly inappropriate.
357
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,612
- Well, you've been acting weird
and avoiding me all day.
358
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,484
- [laughing] No, I haven't.
359
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,553
I've just been
keeping my head down,
360
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:38,252
keeping my mind on work,
you know.
361
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:41,345
- Wow, so guilty, you can't even
look at me, can you?
362
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,888
- I'm looking right at you.
363
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,533
- Excuse me, we're having
a private conversation.
364
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,358
Thank you.
365
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,525
- Ugly. Ugly.
366
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,903
- Wait, wait.
367
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:54,302
This one looks like
Matthew McConaughey.
368
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,344
"All right, all right,
all right."
369
00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,510
- That's really good, Mateo,
but we need to focus.
370
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,880
Ooh.
371
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:04,953
[both laugh]
372
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,408
You know what?
This one's all nasty.
373
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,947
How about you take one
of the nicer-looking grapefruit?
374
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,523
- Oh, I don't care how it looks.
- Good.
375
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,151
Well, then if you don't care
what it looks like,
376
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,346
you can just take
one of these.
377
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,387
- I want this one.
- Why?
378
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,663
- Because I want it,
and I need it.
379
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,531
- No, you don't need this one.
- Yes, I do.
380
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,430
- Okay, just give it to me.
- I had it first.
381
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,532
- Just give her the ugly
[bleep] grapefruit!
382
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,307
[clears throat]
Sorry.
383
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,539
I just want you to be able to go
trick-or-treating with your son.
384
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,584
- Daughter.
- Whatever.
385
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,519
- That's narrow.
386
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:46,622
Excuse me.
- Hmm?
387
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,363
- Where are
your bathrooms?
388
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,288
- Just back
and to the right.
389
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:53,163
- [scoffs]
You're joking, right?
390
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,393
- I-I don't believe so.
391
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,697
- I'm amazed you guys
stay open, honestly.
392
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:57,699
- Hey, Bobby.
393
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,370
I finished marking down
the clearance items.
394
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,229
- Great!
395
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,937
Why don't you work
on the shrink reports?
396
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:05,169
- Will do, boss.
- All right.
397
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,975
- Wait, is that
your assistant manager?
398
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,978
- Oh, yeah, Kelly.
She's the best.
399
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,551
- She was so nice to you.
400
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,350
- She's nice...
401
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,682
to me, yeah.
402
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,294
Oh, just to the right there.
403
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,734
Sir? Yeah.
404
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,559
There you go.
You got it now.
405
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,466
- And Susie went to Mexico
for liposuction,
406
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:33,729
but something happened,
407
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,596
and now she has a bunch
of bugs in her butt.
408
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:39,665
- Wow, I'm really rooting
for that story to be true.
409
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,976
Hey, uh, what do people
say about me?
410
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,480
- Nothing.
- Oh, come on, come on.
411
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:45,651
I'm sure you've heard
something.
412
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,478
It's fine. It's fine.
I can--thick skin.
413
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,384
[chuckles]
414
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,716
- Okay, well...
415
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,721
some people think
that you wear a wig,
416
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,493
and some people think
that you have a crush on Amy,
417
00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,993
and some people think
that you're a Sea Org,
418
00:15:59,026 --> 00:15:59,956
whatever that is.
419
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,733
- Wait, people think
I have a crush on Amy?
420
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:06,432
- Mm-hmm.
- What?
421
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,496
She's married.
That's--
422
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:10,035
I mean, not that you can't
have a crush
423
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,440
on someone who's married,
424
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,271
but I mean, you know, yuck.
425
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,636
You know, not yuck.
I think she's pretty.
426
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,384
But she's not, like,
pretty-pretty.
427
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,409
I mean, she's--I don't know.
That's insane.
428
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,045
Who's saying--
like, who specifically--
429
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,310
who's saying that?
430
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:23,418
- Just people.
Like, everyone.
431
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:29,286
- Kelly will do, like,
anything Bobby asks.
432
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,422
You know, Bobby will be like,
"Hey, Kelly, do this,"
433
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:34,058
and Kelly will be like,
"With pleasure, Bobby."
434
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:36,664
And then Bobby will be like,
"Thanks, Kelly."
435
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,726
- Glenn, I don't know who either
of those people are.
436
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:41,765
[cell phone ringing]
Oh.
437
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,410
Hey!
- Hi, Mom.
438
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,068
- Hi, baby,
I know I'm running late,
439
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,607
but I promise you I'm not gonna
miss trick-or-treating.
440
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:52,782
- Actually, is it okay if I go
to Finley's house instead?
441
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,552
Dad said he'd drop me off.
- Oh.
442
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:59,052
Um, I--
Yeah, yeah.
443
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:00,686
I mean, if you want.
444
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,690
- Really?
- Yeah.
445
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:06,462
Yes, yes, of course.
It's cool.
446
00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:08,363
That just means
more candy for me.
447
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,695
Num, num, num,
num, num, num.
448
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,430
- Oh, sweetie.
Hang up.
449
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,396
- Thanks, Mom!
- Yeah.
450
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,565
- Bye, Emma!
451
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:19,543
It's Glenn.
I'm a hot dog.
452
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,140
- Okay.
453
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,747
- Garrett, Garrett, Garrett,
454
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,348
Garrett, Garrett,
Garrett...
455
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,321
Garrett.
456
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,850
What are you thinking about
right now?
457
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,154
Hmm? Fruit, maybe?
458
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,857
What kind of fruit--
tart little kiwis?
459
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,428
No, I bet you like big,
juicy melons, don't you?
460
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,828
- Come on, you know
what you're doing here.
461
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,789
- Yeah, I do.
Catching a thief.
462
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,198
- [sighs]
463
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:46,370
- Now, listen.
464
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,299
Just admit what you did,
and we can end this right now.
465
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:51,196
- All right, fine, okay?
I took the fruit.
466
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,768
Whatever it takes.
Just get me out of here.
467
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,236
- See?
468
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,506
Doesn't that feel better?
469
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,854
- I'm having the weirdest day.
470
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,849
[slow music]
471
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,182
*
472
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:07,847
- Hey.
- Hey.
473
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,487
What happened to your costume?
474
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:13,732
- I just didn't feel
like wearing it anymore.
475
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,860
Emma wants to hang out with her
friends tonight instead of me.
476
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,496
- Oh, that's a bummer.
477
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,272
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
478
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:24,471
But it's, you know--
it's normal, right?
479
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,414
- Yeah, I guess.
It's--
480
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,339
Yes, yes, it's normal.
481
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:32,475
It's just, I just thought
I had, like, one
482
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,812
or maybe two more years
with her.
483
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,777
- Yeah.
- You know, it's weird.
484
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:40,346
It's like, you bring home
this cute little baby,
485
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,357
and all they want
is to be with you,
486
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,159
like, every second
of every day,
487
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,861
and then they grow up,
488
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,432
and you're proud, of course,
489
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,501
but--but also sad and lonely.
490
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,571
- Yeah, no, babies
are hilarious.
491
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,240
I should probably
get back out there.
492
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,299
[clears throat]
493
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,375
- "I admit I stole the fruit
494
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:07,451
like some Saudi Arabian
street rat."
495
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,350
You want me to sign this?
- Yes, I do.
496
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,522
[door opens]
- Stop the interrogation.
497
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,821
We found it, yeah.
498
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:18,393
Look, crazy story--
it had fallen behind something.
499
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:22,395
- Interesting, because Garrett
just confessed to stealing it,
500
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,259
so somebody here is lying.
501
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,267
- [sighs]
- You know what?
502
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,529
I don't know
what's going on here,
503
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,197
but I intend to find out.
504
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,496
And if I have to keep everyone
here all night to do it,
505
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:34,268
so be it.
506
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,877
- No!
- I'm sorry, what?
507
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:40,279
- I said no!
This is over, okay?
508
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,813
I'm the Bobby here!
509
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:45,948
And if you don't like it,
you can go kick a cow!
510
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:49,285
So if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go home
511
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:52,292
and cut myself
out of this hot dog costume
512
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,285
and make love to my wife--
513
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,957
if she's up for it.
514
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,466
- * How you gonna do it if you
really won't take a chance *
515
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,442
* By standing on the wall
516
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,441
* Get your back up
off the wall *
517
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,383
* 'Cause I heard all
the people sayin'... *
518
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,379
- [sighs]
519
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:12,381
Hey.
520
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,452
- Hey, come on in.
521
00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:16,581
- Ahh. Oof.
- Come on in.
522
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,316
- I got the seat warmer
on for you.
523
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,521
I put it on level one;
that's my favorite
524
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,622
'cause I don't think it's--
525
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:21,923
I think it's, like,
just warm enough,
526
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:22,994
you know, where you're--
527
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,862
You can put it on any level
you want, is the point.
528
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,361
- It's great.
- Okay.
529
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,333
- Ooh, toasty tush.
- Yeah.
530
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,001
- Okay, we should go
before someone sees us.
531
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,929
- Oh, yes, good call.
532
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:36,902
- Mm-hmm.
533
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,044
- Do you guys have
any plans?
534
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,011
- We're seeing
"Nosferatu."
535
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,340
- Yeah, I don't know
why I'm going,
536
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,576
but I'm just in a weird
head space today.
537
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,712
- Which is exactly how you want
to see German expressionism.
538
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:48,917
- Mm.
539
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,318
- Uh, do you want to come?
- Uh...
540
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:52,921
- I mean, if you want to.
541
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,892
I don't care if you're there.
542
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,491
You could be there
or not be there.
543
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:59,663
It means nothing to me
if you're there, at all.
544
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,962
- You've charmed me.
I'm in.
545
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,064
- What are you in?
546
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,395
- Uh, we're going to see
some terrible German film.
547
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,702
- The fact that it's German
is irrelevant.
548
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:07,573
It's silent.
549
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,540
- Oh, this just keeps
getting better.
550
00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,999
- All right, I'm in too.
But I call both armrests.
551
00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:14,308
- Uh, you should probably
button up your jacket, though,
552
00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:16,541
'cause it's gonna be cold.
553
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,906
- Incidentally, I'm--
I'm Brexit.
554
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,945
How has nobody asked me
about that all day?
39362
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