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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:07,538
Along with dust, pet dander,
and toxic mold spores,
2
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:10,410
so pick up a SuperCloud air
purifier and convince yourself
3
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:14,447
which it's not,
'cause it's just a fan.
4
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,078
- Excuse me, everyone.
- Dude.
5
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:17,550
You know what?
I don't care.
6
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:20,420
- Two Aprils ago,
I was new here,
7
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,789
and someone special came over
to help me on register.
8
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:27,527
And, Lisa, you didn't
just bag groceries.
9
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:28,558
You bagged my heart.
10
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,562
- Ooh, this is a bad idea.
11
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,400
- Lisa Beth-Ann
Donatella Lopez-Fitzgerald,
12
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:36,136
if you'll make me the luckiest
man in St. Louis,
13
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:39,467
I'll show you
the time of your life.
14
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,547
- This makes me genuinely sad.
15
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,378
- Flash mob proposals
are so lame.
16
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,551
Except for the one
that Bo did for you.
17
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,287
That was unique and very cool.
- Yeah.
18
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:58,118
- Yeah, but flash mobs stopped
being cool, like, a year ago.
19
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:00,585
- Yeah, they were cool
one year ago.
20
00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:06,125
- Where's Lisa?
We need Lisa.
21
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,801
- Where the is Lisa?
22
00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:10,302
- She's in the bathroom.
23
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,404
- Is it a quick bathroom break
or more
24
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,466
of a hunker-down-watch-
YouTube-videos situation?
25
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,635
- Hard to say.
Her body language going in...
26
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,144
Oh, wait, here...
27
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,116
- Go back. Go back.
Places, places.
28
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,417
- Oh, God. Not again.
- Oh, wow.
29
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,819
- Take two, dude.
30
00:01:31,659 --> 00:01:34,159
- Front of store on the left.
31
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,661
- Amy, Amy.
- Yeah.
32
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:38,498
- Tell me, do you think
that Brett and Brittany
33
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:41,668
I mean, it feels like there's
chemistry there,
34
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:43,469
but it might just be
the alliteration.
35
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,301
- What, like, together-together?
- Yeah, yeah.
36
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:50,876
- 'Cause I hired Miles and Lisa,
and now they're in love.
37
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:53,178
You know, so I thought maybe
there's some other sad singles
38
00:01:53,180 --> 00:01:54,647
who'd like to get bitten
by Cupid.
39
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:57,348
- An arrow.
I think Cupid has an arrow.
40
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:58,618
- And he bites.
41
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,849
- And I don't think
that it's a good idea to go
42
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:02,685
setting people up around work.
43
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:06,426
- Are you down on love because
of your bad marriage?
44
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:09,596
- No, I just don't think people
come here to find love.
45
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,597
This is a workplace,
not Match.com.
46
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,429
- What's Match.com?
47
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:16,336
- It's like Christian Mingle,
but for everyone.
48
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,567
- Oh!
That is such a good idea.
49
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,212
- Mm-hmm.
50
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:27,609
- I'm sure it's her.
51
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,475
- Well,
there's definite similarities.
52
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,217
Slightly different BMis,
but she could be on
53
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:34,587
- So what do we do next?
Do we... do we call the cops?
54
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,456
Do we bust her ourselves?
55
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,657
Easy, Cagney.
56
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,226
We have to catch her in the act.
57
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:41,687
Now, I'd have my
plainclothes guy tail her,
58
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:44,725
Ah, I wonder
what he wears on his day off.
59
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,499
Fancy clothes probably.
60
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,630
- I could do it.
61
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:48,595
I've always wanted
to go undercover.
62
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,470
You?
63
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:53,506
Okay, yeah, you're way
underqualified.
64
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,567
- What do you need
to be qualified?
65
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,376
- You need to watch a video.
66
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,678
- I could watch a video.
67
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,247
- You could watch a video.
68
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:04,378
- You guys, look what Jeff
just sent me.
69
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,385
"My precious treasure,
70
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:09,656
"words cannot express my love
for you.
71
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:13,626
"And I love seeing you naked,
because it's really good.
72
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,427
Love, Mr. Man."
73
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,329
- Wow, Jeff sent you those.
74
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,731
- That's, like,
a hundred-dollar bouquet.
75
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,401
- Yeah, or, like, 140.
76
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,269
- Seems so weird he'd send you
a gift at work when your
77
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,770
relationship
is supposed to be secret.
78
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,940
- I guess he really loves me,
huh?
79
00:03:26,941 --> 00:03:28,941
- Yeah.
- Hey, Heather.
80
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:30,713
Look what Jeff just sent me.
81
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:36,483
- Oh, we need more tissue paper.
82
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,686
- What's wrong with him?
83
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:43,987
- Well, it's because of a reason
that I... I can't tell you.
84
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,558
- Hmm, I actually don't care,
so...
85
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,427
- Mateo's the one dating Jeff,
okay?
86
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:50,597
And Sandra is just making it up
to get attention.
87
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,366
- So Sandra has
a fake boyfriend,
88
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,497
she sent herself flowers,
and Mateo is dating Jeff?
89
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,536
- Yeah.
90
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:59,297
- This a quality Tuesday.
91
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,446
Oh!
92
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:07,477
- Hello.
93
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:13,286
And you must be the little
princess we've been expecting.
94
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,417
Right this way, Your Highness.
95
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,789
M...
96
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:29,031
- Hey, Arthur, I might be
totally off base here,
97
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,736
but do you have a crush
on Myrtle?
98
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:34,607
- Oh, no.
I...
99
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,338
Well, maybe just a little crush.
100
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:38,578
- Oh, that's so sweet.
101
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,609
- I like to imagine the two
of us together someday
102
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,745
feeding the ducks...
- Ohh.
103
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,618
- Watching the ducks.
104
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,619
It doesn't have to be ducks.
105
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,720
- No.
It can be ducks.
106
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,428
- You're doing great.
107
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,030
Good, good, good.
108
00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:59,631
Just keep thinking,
"Customer, customer.
109
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,867
I'm shopping as a customer."
110
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,338
- Okay, okay, thank you.
- All right.
111
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,677
- Hey, Jonah.
112
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:14,608
Do you think Elias and Pauline
would be good together,
113
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:17,345
or am I just projecting
Laurel and Hardy?
114
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,618
- I think you have me confused
with someone else.
115
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:25,692
- Oh, wow.
I'm... I'm so sorry.
116
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:28,628
I... you look exactly like
someone who works here.
117
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,329
I'm so sorry.
118
00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:34,398
Wow, it's uncanny.
119
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:36,469
- And Bo's parents
are out of town,
120
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,539
so everyone's just gonna get
waa-sted.
121
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,408
What about you?
Any hot Valentine's Day plans?
122
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:47,679
- No, probably sit in the park,
feed the ducks.
123
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,881
- Ohh, that's so old person.
124
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:54,420
You can come if you want,
but it's bring your own nitrous.
125
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,689
- Hey, Myrtle,
do you date anymore?
126
00:05:56,690 --> 00:06:00,490
- No, but if you know
someone nice,
127
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,394
set me up.
128
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:03,926
He doesn't even
have to be white.
129
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:14,907
- Arthur, we're switching things
up a bit today.
130
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,738
I'm gonna have you tackle
Womenswear with Myrtle,
131
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:20,505
and Cheyenne here is gonna take
your post.
132
00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,848
- You want me to be a greeter?
133
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,449
I'm not trained in that.
134
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,550
- You'll be fine.
I believe in you.
135
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,688
- Hello.
Welcome to Cloud 9.
136
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,519
Ooh, yeah, I nailed that.
137
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,460
- Come on, you two.
Talk to each other.
138
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,531
It's not like either one of you
have that much time left.
139
00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:42,402
- Hey. Oh, what is Arthur doing
in Womenswear?
140
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:43,669
He's confused again.
141
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,800
I'll go fix it.
- No, no.
142
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,665
No, Glenn, I put him there.
143
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:48,808
- Why?
144
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:51,709
- You know, just to mix things
up,
145
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:55,448
give people an opportunity to
work with other people and...
146
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,679
- Oh, I see.
147
00:06:57,684 --> 00:07:00,553
It's wrong when I try to do
matchmaking,
148
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,854
but you get to whip out
the fangs, huh?
149
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,716
- What fangs?
- Cupid's fangs.
150
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:08,655
- Glenn, again, an arrow.
Never mind.
151
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:11,697
They're really perfect
for each other.
152
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,798
- They are.
They're both old.
153
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,831
- Yeah, and there's, like,
this whole duck thing,
154
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,736
but mostly they're old.
155
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,098
- Why aren't they talking
to each other?
156
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,736
- I don't know.
He's really shy.
157
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,708
It's like they need
a bigger push.
158
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,439
- Yeah.
Oh, hey, you see that guy?
159
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,706
You think that's Jonah, right?
160
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,849
It's not.
161
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,448
This is so embarrassing.
162
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:36,856
I always tell him, "Jeff,
you're gift enough for me,"
163
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,817
but he won't listen.
164
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:41,686
- I'm not much of a romantic,
but this is special stuff.
165
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,125
- Whatever.
166
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,697
Do you know how many babies
choke on balloons
167
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,958
and die every year?
168
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,626
I don't know,
but it seems like a few would.
169
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:52,604
I mean, can you imagine what
it's like to have what she has?
170
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,236
I mean, just to have
a connection like that
171
00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:55,741
with someone.
172
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,610
I bet Jeff just loves it.
173
00:07:57,611 --> 00:08:00,681
- 30.
30 babies die.
174
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:14,726
- Oh!
- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
175
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,496
I'm so sorry.
176
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:20,627
- Oh, yeah, no,
happens all the time.
177
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,668
Someone flies a drone
into my head.
178
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,538
- Are you sure? 'Cause I can
give you a ride to the hospital.
179
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:28,169
- No way.
I've seen how you drive.
180
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:31,935
- Well, I... I mean, I'm better
with the... the four wheels.
181
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,205
- Yeah, I'd hope so.
182
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,775
This is why people hate
Valentine's Day,
183
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,719
you know, drone strikes.
184
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,687
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
185
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,688
- Oh, welcome to Cloud 9.
186
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,759
Welcome to Cloud 9.
187
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,029
Cloud 9 welcomes you.
188
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,676
- That's right, chat her up.
189
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,877
Just a normal person having
a normal conversation.
190
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:09,549
Speak, listen, speak, listen.
191
00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:11,717
- Ooh, look at him getting some
on V-Day.
192
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,686
- What are you talking about?
193
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:16,787
He's just building a rapport
with the suspect.
194
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,058
I mean, that's why they're
talking and laughing so much,
195
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,626
standing so close.
196
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:23,896
He just touched her elbow
with his hand.
197
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,697
- Anyway, do you want to...
- Huh.
198
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,769
- She's late, like...
- There she is.
199
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,697
Hey, Myrtle.
Break time already, huh?
200
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,265
- Uh-huh.
201
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,908
- I love break time, great time
to kick back and see what's in
202
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,809
the old locker, huh?
203
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,681
- Wh... what you got there?
204
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:44,250
- I don't think this
is my locker.
205
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:49,321
It just looks like someone left
you some flowers and chocolates
206
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,690
and a duck.
207
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:54,591
- Wow.
Who's it from?
208
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:56,285
- Well, look.
Look for a card.
209
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,656
Just look around.
Look...
210
00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:58,831
Look under that sweater.
211
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:01,972
No, not your sweater.
He's not a magician.
212
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,771
- It's from Arthur.
213
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,272
- Oh.
- Ohh.
214
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,611
That's so sweet of him.
- That's so nice.
215
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,746
Ohh.
216
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,347
You don't have to cry, sweetie.
217
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,880
- He won't leave me alone.
218
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:22,645
Why won't he leave me alone?
219
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,986
Aah!
220
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,866
- So Myrtle has filed sexual
harassment complaints against
221
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,627
Arthur as well as
the two of you.
222
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,066
- That's crazy.
223
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,870
We didn't harass her.
224
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,940
- She's alleging that you used
your positions of authority to
225
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,941
force her to work with an
employee in hopes of engaging
226
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,810
in a physical relationship
with him.
227
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,747
And she also claims you broke
into her locker.
228
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:48,878
Now, what's your side
of the story?
229
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:51,951
- Um, factually similar.
230
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,852
- Yeah, but you can prove
anything with facts.
231
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,654
I mean, Darwin...
232
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,016
- She goes on to say that he
made lewd and profane comments.
233
00:10:58,025 --> 00:11:00,755
- Arthur?
He's so sweet.
234
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,829
- We had no idea what he was
saying to her.
235
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,930
The security cameras
don't have sound.
236
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,167
- I'm sorry, are you saying
that you were spying
237
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,268
on them as well?
238
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,837
- No, spying makes it sound like
239
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,268
we were trying
to get information.
240
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,673
We were just watching them
for our own pleasure.
241
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:16,776
- Stop talking, Glenn.
242
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,137
- Welcome to Cloud 9.
243
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:20,075
Welcome to Cloud 9.
244
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,250
Hey, it's Cloud 9 up in here.
245
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,880
- Jeff got her a watch.
246
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,686
I would have liked a watch.
247
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,688
- But she sent it to herself.
248
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:30,690
- Yeah, I know she sent it
to herself.
249
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:34,060
- You know, it's just sad that
she feels the need to...
250
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,161
- White gold?
251
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:36,929
Oh, my God.
That's her favorite.
252
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:37,997
It's like he knows exactly
what she wants.
253
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,728
- Ohh.
254
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,201
- I thought space camp was just
gonna be all moon rocks
255
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:45,002
and astronaut ice cream,
but it was basically
256
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,935
just a bunch of science classes.
257
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,840
- But still, I'm... that's...
I'm so jealous of that.
258
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:51,811
- Really?
- Yes, it's incredible.
259
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:54,812
Meanwhile, according to the
absurd amount of decorations
260
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:57,845
in this store,
I guess it's Valentine's Day.
261
00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,118
- Oh.
- Did you...
262
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,219
Did you see any of this?
263
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,820
- No, I hadn't noticed.
264
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,990
- So do you... do you have
any plans or...
265
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:10,161
- Actually, yeah, I'm going to
an MMA fight with my boyfriend.
266
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,832
Yeah, he's that muscly guy
right over there.
267
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,300
- Oh.
268
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,301
Oh, I didn't...
- So gullible!
269
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:19,003
- I am gullible.
- Yes.
270
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,165
- So are you... are you free or...
271
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,008
- Yeah, I'm free.
272
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:25,509
- She's not the shoplifter.
273
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:28,512
- Really? Because you were
so certain of it earlier.
274
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,845
I mean, you had
that dance-y energy you get.
275
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:32,118
- Oh, no, no, no.
That was just...
276
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,887
I had an extra shot
in my cold brew this morning.
277
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:38,188
But seeing her up close,
the chin, the nose,
278
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,126
that's a different person.
279
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:41,927
- Huh, well,
280
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,958
I can't think of any reason
why you'd want to lie.
281
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:47,199
So I guess you're
officially off the case.
282
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,800
Thank you for your service.
283
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,802
- It was an honor
and a pleasure.
284
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:54,869
- Attention shoppers.
285
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,935
We just received
a song dedication.
286
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,980
This one goes out
to "Sandra, my one and only.
287
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,211
"Happy Valentine's Day, boo.
288
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,915
Love, your Mr. Man."
289
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,190
- Hi, Myrtle.
290
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,895
Look, I just...
I want to say I'm sorry.
291
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,328
I was totally out of line.
292
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:23,836
- He was saying such filth,
how much he liked my sweater.
293
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,906
- Oh, well,
is that really that bad?
294
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,967
- He meant he liked
what's under my sweater.
295
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:34,946
- Okay, maybe, but maybe...
I don't know...
296
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:38,878
It is possible that you
misunderstood what he said or...
297
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,845
- Oh, blame the victim.
298
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,388
She's blaming the victim!
299
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:43,989
- No, no, no, no.
300
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:48,190
I'm just saying that maybe he
wasn't harassing you.
301
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,925
It is a very nice sweater.
302
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,960
- It shouldn't matter
what she's wearing.
303
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,095
- I'm sorry.
Who asked you to get involved?
304
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,968
- Sexual harassment
involves us all.
305
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,969
- Okay, this isn't sexual...
306
00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:01,006
Okay, I was just trying
to set her up for a date.
307
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,607
- Intent is irrelevant.
308
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,039
- Seriously, who are you people?
309
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,444
- Oh, we're not together.
310
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,145
- Oh, oh, 'cause a woman
couldn't possible be out on her
311
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:11,448
own without a big, strong man,
'cause then she'd be a slut!
312
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,381
- Okay, none of you know
the story.
313
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,886
She asked me to set her up,
so I set her up.
314
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,119
She was asking me for it.
315
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,358
She asked for it.
316
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:22,393
- Sexual harassment.
317
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:25,195
At what point
is it inappropriate?
318
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,498
Harassment is always wrong.
319
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:32,969
It shouldn't end in the bedroom.
320
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:36,008
- He's totally thinking about
boning Sandra right now.
321
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:40,946
- And fewer lawsuits equals
more revenue for Cloud 9,
322
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:43,577
which benefits all of us.
323
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:46,383
- I'm sorry for making you
uncomfortable, Michelle.
324
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:50,416
- Oh, M.C. Cool Cloud,
you are all right.
325
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,523
- Does anybody have
any questions?
326
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,559
- No, I think
we're all set here.
327
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,428
- Well, you can't take love out
of the workplace.
328
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,997
- Oh, God, kill me now.
329
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:02,498
If it was up to you, they never
would have gotten together.
330
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,470
And then the children
they're gonna have
331
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,501
would never have been born.
332
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:08,435
- Oh, we're...
We're not having kids.
333
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,171
- What?
- No one is saying
334
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:12,576
you can't ever date somebody
you work with.
335
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,509
Just be careful
not to make unwanted advances.
336
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:19,145
- So you can't ask someone out
unless you know they like you?
337
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,686
But then you don't know
if someone likes you
338
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:25,217
unless you ask them out,
so that's, like, a catch-22.
339
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:26,925
- Whoa, well done.
340
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,387
- Oh, I've been studying
for the SATs.
341
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,126
It's been a very extrapolatory
experience.
342
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,500
- Okay,
what we need is a database.
343
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:38,401
Everybody write down all the
employees you're attracted to.
344
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,665
Totally confidential.
345
00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:41,941
I will compile a spreadsheet
of any matches
346
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,042
and post it above the microwave.
347
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,476
- Nope, we're not doing that.
348
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,507
Let's just say
that if you ask somebody out,
349
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,948
and they say no, move on.
350
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,049
- What if she just says no
351
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,450
because she has plans
that night?
352
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,086
Can you ask her out again
for a different night?
353
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,547
- I guess. I mean, it depends.
Does she really have plans,
354
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:59,416
or is she politely telling you
she's not interested?
355
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,256
- Which one is it, Sarah?
- It's the second one.
356
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,529
Whatever.
357
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,260
I was just asking
as a joke anyway.
358
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,695
- Without kids,
what's the point of life?
359
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,067
- I can't believe you'd want
to bring someone
360
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,528
into this crazy world.
361
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,466
- Sometimes people do change
their minds.
362
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,972
I mean, I met Jerusha when we
were both working
363
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:17,435
at my father's hardware store.
364
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:20,713
I asked her out every day
for a year,
365
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,281
and then she said yes.
366
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,282
Aww.
367
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:26,618
That's called a systemic pattern
of hostility.
368
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:29,188
It's, like, the number one thing
you can't do.
369
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:33,119
The actress in the video,
does she get paid per video,
370
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,556
or is it more of a flat rate
for the whole day kind of thing?
371
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,297
- My guess is flat rate.
372
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,528
- Can ignoring someone
you're dating
373
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,632
- I don't think so.
- Of course you don't.
374
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,295
- I'm... I'm just not explaining
it right.
375
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,071
I wasn't harassing her.
376
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:48,707
She agreed to go out with me
because my father threatened
377
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,576
to fire her if she didn't.
378
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,537
- Myrtle, I'm so sorry.
379
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,505
It was wrong to harass you,
and if you want,
380
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,215
I will quit right now.
381
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,517
- No, no, no.
- Yes, quit.
382
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,649
- Arthur is a lovely guy.
383
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,653
He was just trying
to compliment you.
384
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,155
- That's all it is!
385
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,787
I like your sweater,
and I think you're pretty.
386
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:09,328
- Ohh.
- And I love how your sweater
387
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:12,197
cleaves tight against
your breasts.
388
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,528
- Arthur, no.
- Gross, dude.
389
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,202
- Okay, this is actually
making things worse.
390
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,637
- It's not always harassment.
391
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,568
I mean, Jerusha and I
got married.
392
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:23,573
- Oh, so it's not harassment
if you marry them?
393
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,276
- Oh, God, what have I done?
394
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:28,647
- They're like two little
robin's eggs all bundled up
395
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,108
in a bird's nest.
396
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:32,246
- Stop.
- Found her on IMDB.
397
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,120
She was on "NCIS."
She played "Lady in Pool."
398
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:37,121
Acting life is tough.
399
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:48,367
- So right in here is where
I saw the feces swastika.
400
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,068
- Okay.
401
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:53,070
- Happy Valentine's Day, baby.
402
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,273
- Mm, yeah, you too.
403
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:58,275
- Oh, all right,
well, there you go.
404
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:01,678
- Oh, you didn't
have to get me anything.
405
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:06,075
- It's a keychain.
- Thank you.
406
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,586
- 'Cause you're always losing
your keys.
407
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:12,587
- Ahh, what a small,
thoughtful... small gift.
408
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,192
- Are you angry at me?
409
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,855
I just don't think everybody
at work needs to know
410
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,864
you're my boyfriend.
411
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:20,866
- Boyfriend?
412
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:21,867
- Yeah.
413
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,598
- I'm your boyfriend?
414
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:27,843
- Oh, you've never
called me that before.
415
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,636
Boyfriend is way better
than the keychain.
416
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:37,746
- So what did you get me?
417
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:40,119
- I'm sorry. I've been dealing
with a lot of drama today.
418
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,350
- Oh, okay.
Yeah, no, that's all right.
419
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,122
- Yeah.
- Sure.
420
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,323
Sure, so...
421
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:48,385
- Anyway, I was convinced that I
was gonna be the president
422
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,696
of the thespians,
but then Steve Luber got it.
423
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,127
- What?
- And he was in, like,
424
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,298
three plays.
425
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:57,269
Did you get what I sent you in
for, or did you get distracted?
426
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,600
Men, right?
427
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,365
- Hey, wh... who...
428
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,441
- Look, Tyler and Megan
are in the car.
429
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,310
- Oh, you're married?
- No, no, no, no, no.
430
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,611
Those are not my kids.
431
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:09,313
Those are your kids
with your boyfriend.
432
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,415
- How dare you!
433
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,877
You are the closest thing
those kids have had to a father
434
00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:14,616
since he died at war.
435
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,689
- Fighting for the other side,
and we are not married!
436
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,290
- I never signed
any divorce papers!
437
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:20,322
- You don't remember
you signed them
438
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:21,426
because of your
drinking problem!
439
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:22,657
- I drink because of you!
440
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,229
- You don't...
441
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:25,730
Great, now she's gone.
442
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:29,632
- You put your personal libido
in front of busting a thief.
443
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:30,866
- She's not a thief!
444
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,770
She... oh, my God.
My wallet's gone.
445
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,372
- There you go.
- Oh, wait, no, no.
446
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,774
It's in the other pocket.
447
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,635
My chiropractor told me
to switch it up.
448
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:42,181
- Jerusha, our whole marriage
449
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,916
is based on a sex crime.
450
00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:48,787
No, no, no,
you only think you love me.
451
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,956
You were my victim!
452
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:53,357
- Ooh, he got her puppies too?
453
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,659
I'm not a big Valentine's Day
guy, but Jeff and Sandra are...
454
00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:57,930
- Jandra.
455
00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:00,361
We should call them Jandra.
456
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,368
Puppies!
457
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,499
Hi!
458
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:07,506
Ohh!
459
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,237
- Why does everybody
want to Jeff?
460
00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:13,412
- Oh, hey, if you've got plans
tonight, you can head out.
461
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:14,913
I'm fine to finish this up.
462
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,481
- No, I'm good.
463
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:17,849
No plans for me.
464
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,480
- Yeah, me neither.
465
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,460
- Oh!
466
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,961
Wow, you are not messing around.
467
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:41,238
- Aah!
468
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,376
Yah!
469
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:46,438
Aah!
470
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,249
- What is wrong with you?
471
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,450
Ugh!
Coconut.
472
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,919
- I got caramel.
473
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,390
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
474
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,760
Happy Valentine's Day,
by the way.
475
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,897
- Oh, yeah.
476
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,967
Happy Valentine's Day.
35016
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