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1
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:07,535
- It's like watching
a mummy unwrap itself.
2
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:10,110
- I mean, how long
can this go on for, really?
3
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:13,546
- Oh, she'll... she'll get there.
Oh, nope, nope, she's going
4
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,747
in the wrong direction now.
- Come on, Myrtle.
5
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:18,018
- Oh, this could take a while.
6
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:21,719
- Ugh, can we, like, get some
coat hooks or something?
7
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,190
- Well, before we do that,
can we fix this drip?
8
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,721
Or, like, at least
get a new bucket?
9
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:29,626
- Oh, I would love to fix that,
but, no, corporate
10
00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:33,030
only gave us $15.00
for break room repairs,
11
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:35,502
and we blew through that
on the bat traps.
12
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,737
- Speaking of corporate,
this memo just came through:
13
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,268
"This time of year,
many of us suffer
14
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:40,707
"from Seasonal
Affective Disorder.
15
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,668
Look out for the following
symptoms of depression..."
16
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:45,036
- Pfft!
Who would get depressed here?
17
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,276
- "Listlessness..."
- Come on.
18
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,610
- "Irritability..."
- You wish.
19
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:49,105
- "General discontent..."
- No way.
20
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:50,746
- "Apathy..."
- Give me a break.
21
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,686
- "Above all,
remember Cloud 9 cares.
22
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,417
"This memo clears parent company
of any liability
23
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,690
for employee suicide."
24
00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,191
- Hmm, Cloud 9 really does care.
25
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,694
- Well, they did send a letter.
26
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:11,268
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, Dina, what's up?
27
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:13,172
- So are you just
planning to avoid me
28
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,574
until one of us quits, or...?
29
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,235
- No, no, no, no, it's just,
you know, I've been busy.
30
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:20,280
You know, different shifts,
whatevers and etceteras.
31
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:24,781
Look, Dina, the time
we had together was special,
32
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:27,415
but, as a child of divorce...
- Oh, believe me.
33
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,521
I have absolutely no interest
in pursuing this.
34
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,858
I mean, do you have any idea
the kind of men I've had?
35
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:35,228
Sky diving instructors,
hand models,
36
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,729
two of the original members
of Fine Young Cannibals.
37
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,766
Come on.
- Okay, well, great.
38
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,727
So just a one time thing then.
- Oh, yeah.
39
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:45,696
Just don't be weird,
and things will be fine.
40
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:50,136
- Okay, I won't be weird,
lady who has multiple birds.
41
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,748
- Sandra's up.
- All right, Sandra!
42
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,691
- Am I doing this right?
- Yes, but pace yourself.
43
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,226
- Okay.
- I can't believe you guys
44
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,887
do this every year.
- Well, corporate tells us
45
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,695
to clean out Lost and Found
every January,
46
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:13,127
- We used to give it to charity,
but then Goodwill told us
47
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,701
not to leave our trash
on their loading dock.
48
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:16,369
- Hurry up, Sandra.
It's not like
49
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:20,206
- Please, hold on, last year
I ended up with a broken comb.
50
00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:21,267
I just need one second.
51
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,705
- Boo!
Three, two, one.
52
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,710
- Ah!
- And Sandra's got
53
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:28,848
an old pair of dentures, yes!
54
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:31,279
- A lot of good stuff
in there this year.
55
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:34,685
- Oh, hey, uh, Tate,
you're basically
56
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,218
a doctor, right?
57
00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:39,359
- Even better, I'm a pharmacist.
Doctor to the doctors.
58
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,390
- Oh, close enough, anyway I...
- Do I regret not going
59
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:45,856
for the big M-D?
Not usually, sometimes.
60
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,666
Yeah, when I'm laying
in my tanning bed alone
61
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:51,338
with my thoughts...
sometimes.
62
00:02:52,539 --> 00:02:55,569
- Hey, anyway, um, I wanted
to ask you a question.
63
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:56,936
- Sure.
- Okay, I always thought
64
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,244
depression was this thing
that housewives invented
65
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:02,246
so they could take extra naps,
but you don't think
66
00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,579
that people around here
could have it, do you?
67
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,185
- Well, there are
lots of employees here
68
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,247
on antidepressants.
- What? Who?
69
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:10,385
- Glenn, you know
I can't tell you that.
70
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,921
- Well, how many?
71
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:13,586
About 20.
72
00:03:13,594 --> 00:03:16,429
13 women, 7 men.
Now, I can't give you names,
73
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,698
but it's mostly the uggos.
74
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,699
Doesn't really narrow it down.
75
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,636
- You know, I do volunteer work
at this children's ward,
76
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,637
and there's a guy who dresses up
as a clown and goes around
77
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,570
cheering up the kids.
78
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:29,776
Maybe that would work?
79
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,707
They say laughter's
the best medicine.
80
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,812
- The best medicine
is penicillin.
81
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,349
At least it used to be.
With all these superbugs now,
82
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,750
we might all be dead
in ten years,
83
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,551
so I guess laughter's
as good as anything.
84
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,554
- Okay.
85
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,955
- I think I saw
a stuffed giraffe in here,
86
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,889
and Harmonica loves giraffes,
so, uh, ooh!
87
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:52,925
- And it's a wig.
- Ooh, I can't give this to her.
88
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,633
She'll think I'm slamming her
for being bald.
89
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,796
- Ooh, oh, it's a VHS copy
of "Murder, She Wrote,"
90
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:01,736
seasons three,
episodes seven through nine.
91
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:05,411
- Oh, God.
Cargo shorts?
92
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:09,716
- A journal.
All right, what do we got here?
93
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:13,317
- There you go girl, oh, yeah!
94
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,320
- Ooh.
- Hey.
95
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,557
- Ooh.
- Oh, a purse.
96
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,588
- Oh, look at this.
- Ooh.
97
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:23,997
- There's a squeaker in it, too.
How cute is that?
98
00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:26,566
- Ooh.
- Why?
99
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:29,767
- Ahh, there it is.
My birds love these.
100
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,706
- Okay. Wow, that actually looks
really nice.
101
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:37,437
- Someone left that here?
- Ooh, this kind of works on me.
102
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,612
- Yeah, it's great,
if you wanna wear a man's jacket
103
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,681
and look like a man.
Hey, everyone, look at that man
104
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,382
wearing that man's jacket.
Get used to it 'cause
105
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:48,445
- Hey, Mateo, would you
like to swap this leather jacket
106
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,715
for your cargo shorts?
- What? No.
107
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,358
Are you sure?
'Cause I don't care.
108
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,427
But, you know, if...
If you want, I mean, yeah.
109
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,728
- If you're gonna be...
- Thank you so much.
110
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:56,896
- A little bitch about it.
111
00:04:56,897 --> 00:05:00,497
Okay, who's next?
112
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,347
- Hey, Cheyenne.
113
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,778
How you doing?
114
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,951
- Just a little down,
you know, some days
115
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:22,352
you get the giraffe,
and other days you get the wig.
116
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,616
- That's so true.
117
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:28,925
But hey, what is
your favorite animal, hmm?
118
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,799
- Ooh, a peacock.
119
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,900
- A peacock.
120
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,701
Okay, that's...
That's ambitious.
121
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:39,004
I know how to do a dog, so...
122
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,736
- Okay, dog.
- No, no, you said peacock.
123
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,676
One peacock, coming up.
124
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,577
Ow!
125
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,747
My eye! Ow, ow, ow!
- Oh, oh, no, no, I did...
126
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,948
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
127
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:54,487
- Hey, Janet.
What's your favorite animal?
128
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:57,488
- A clownfish...
- Okay.
129
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,621
- Riding a bicycle.
130
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,498
- Hey, Dina, uh,
I can't work on Thursday,
131
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,729
but Brett said
he'd cover for me,
132
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:11,904
- Oh, boy, here we go.
Cue Garrett being weird.
133
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,605
- What? No, I'm just...
I can't work on Thursday, so...
134
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:17,577
- Do you even hear
yourself right now?
135
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,678
Wow.
136
00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:23,516
- No, you were supposed to
cancel dinner with your parents.
137
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:26,847
No, Adam, I can't
keep doing everything for you.
138
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,821
No, I'm not yelling,
I am whispering.
139
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,622
Okay, you know what?
I can't talk about this
140
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,693
right now, I'm at work.
Good-bye.
141
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:36,829
- Amy, I have
an important question.
142
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,460
Might I borrow these
this weekend?
143
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:39,725
I'm attending the opera.
144
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,869
- Um, yes, all you need now
is a T-shirt
145
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:45,600
with Bugs Bunny dressed like
a cholo, and you're ready to go.
146
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,166
Oh, you know what?
147
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:50,576
I think you left some stuff
in your pockets.
148
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:54,177
Yeah, here we go.
Here is your old end of a joint.
149
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,648
Enjoy.
- Yes, I've been
150
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,049
looking for that.
- Here's your half-filled
151
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,450
tin of dip, didn't know
you were a dipper.
152
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:01,621
- Yeah, don't even
talk to me before I dip.
153
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,822
- Fliers for sexy escorts.
- Gross.
154
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:08,125
- This one says,
"Carerra is gymnast."
155
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:11,998
So you might wanna keep her
at the top of the pile.
156
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:17,869
An old receipt, and, uh,
here is your...
157
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,171
giant wad of cash.
158
00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:25,143
- Seriously?
159
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:28,609
- Oh, yeah.
160
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:31,015
I'm the bad boy
of my friend group.
161
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,548
- Silly string attack!
- No, what are you doing?
162
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,855
- What?
- This stuff stains.
163
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,757
- I'm so sorry.
164
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:41,629
I was just trying
to brighten your day.
165
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,699
Here.
166
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,102
I forgot it was gonna do that.
167
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:53,673
- $906.
- Somewhere in St. Louis,
168
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,676
there's an overweight stoner
who can't pay his escort.
169
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,107
What are you gonna do with it?
170
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,011
- I don't know, I mean,
I guess I'll pay some bills...
171
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,547
- Mm-hmm.
- And then my sister needs
172
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:03,816
a new windshield,
and my mom's crisper drawer
173
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,186
in her fridge is broken, so...
174
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,856
So sorry, I-I get
that your mother's fridge
175
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:13,757
is super exciting, but I meant
what are you gonna do for you?
176
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,160
- I don't need anything.
177
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,729
- No, it's not about need.
This is not about need.
178
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,730
This is free money.
This is your chance
179
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,600
to get you something.
So I want you
180
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,668
to close your eyes... do it...
And I'm gonna
181
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,599
ask you a question,
and I want you to say
182
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,565
the first thing that pops
into your mind.
183
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,173
Stop laughing.
Take this seriously, okay?
184
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:31,635
This mental image of you doing
that cliché where you
185
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,275
get me to magically discover
the one thing I never knew
186
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,880
I wanted... so dumb.
Okay, my mind's clear.
187
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,682
- Well, now you ruined it,
so you're never gonna know
188
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:41,187
- Okay, look, if I were gonna
splurge on myself,
189
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,918
there is this really fancy spa
that I drive by every day
190
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:46,292
on my way to work,
and I have imagined
191
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,893
what it would be like to,
like, go in there
192
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,685
and be like, do it up.
193
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,026
- Yes!
You be selfish.
194
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,631
This is your moment.
- Yeah, I'm going to.
195
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,134
- Good, I'm glad I could help.
- You didn't really
196
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,696
do that much, but...
- Anytime.
197
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,535
- Okay.
198
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,976
- Huh?
Come on, huh?
199
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,278
- I guess it's starting to work.
200
00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:08,981
Maybe if you go a little faster?
201
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:12,582
- Yeah, I can go faster, sure.
202
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,146
- Yeah, the fog's
definitely lifting now.
203
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,022
- Oh, good!
Good, good.
204
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,757
Whew! Sorry, 'cause...
205
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,618
I need to take a little break.
206
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:23,596
- Oh, yeah, fine, just stop.
Just make it all stop.
207
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,757
- No, no, no, no, no,
I-I'll keep going.
208
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,166
Here we go, okay.
Ahh, having a good time.
209
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,339
- Stop smiling at me.
- I'm not smiling at you.
210
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,170
- Oh, grow up.
211
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:40,711
- Come on,
I'm going faster, see?
212
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:41,714
Fast as I can.
213
00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:46,619
- Hey, come here
and check it out.
214
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:50,256
Salt scrub, essential oils,
deep tissue rub-down.
215
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,957
For 900 bucks, they basically
treat you like a brisket.
216
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,796
- For 900 bucks minus
the 80 or so I may have given
217
00:09:56,797 --> 00:10:00,366
to Cheyenne for diapers.
- You suck at being selfish.
218
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:03,336
- Look, $820.00 is plenty
to have a nice day at the spa.
219
00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:05,337
And every single penny
of that money
220
00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:07,607
is going to this girl.
221
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,708
- Amy found $900.00!
What should we all do with it?
222
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:14,011
- In retrospect, perhaps
I shouldn't have told her
223
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:16,214
how much we found.
224
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,646
- You should've just fixed
your mom's crisper.
225
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:19,782
I don't remember.
226
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:28,327
- Hey!
No monkey business at work.
227
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,958
Yeah, you have to tell me
228
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,298
if you're smiling.
- I'm not.
229
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:34,629
Well, I bet I can cheer you up,
230
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,165
or I'm a monkey's uncle.
231
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,370
- Oh, well, I guess
the thing that's
232
00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:41,273
really concerning me is my boss.
233
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,408
He's got a lot of problems.
234
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,339
- What?
That's bananas.
235
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,375
- Yeah, uh, actually,
none of his employees
236
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:49,248
respect him, retail's dying,
237
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:52,079
yet he works at a crap store,
he tried to be a deacon
238
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:56,045
at his church like five times,
but they just don't want him.
239
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,986
Oh, and for the record,
that whole banana thing?
240
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,359
That's actually a myth.
Yeah, most monkeys live and die
241
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,160
without ever having seen
a banana.
242
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:05,232
Their lives are short,
violent, and horrifying.
243
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:10,802
- Dina?
244
00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:14,672
Are you there?
245
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,905
- Well, I would return the money
if I knew whose it was,
246
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:20,379
- Although we did find weed,
dip, porn, and a receipt
247
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,248
for an Arizona iced tea,
so we know it's
248
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,379
somebody with class.
- Was the iced tea
249
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:27,186
raspberry or regular?
- Does it matter, Sandra?
250
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,687
- No.
Sorry.
251
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,690
- So do we all just
split the money?
252
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,460
- Well...
- Yo, I say we take this money
253
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:37,329
to the track, double it,
then double it again,
254
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,799
double it again, then lose it.
255
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,867
- Guys, guys,
hold on just a second.
256
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,737
So Amy found the money,
and Amy's always wanted
257
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,468
to get a massage
at this day spa.
258
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:49,208
- So we're all just
gonna go get massages?
259
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,077
- That's...
- He's got a point though.
260
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,378
We should treat ourselves
to something nice.
261
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:57,349
Can we at least use some
of the money to buy coat hooks?
262
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,980
- Oh, and some lamps
because these fluorescent lights
263
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:01,946
got people looking
like Tilda Swinton.
264
00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:04,415
- Ooh, and Amy, you can
finally get your bucket.
265
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,358
- But, guys, these are...
There are all great ideas,
266
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:10,259
but, um, Amy found the money,
so maybe Amy should be able
267
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,798
to do with it as she pleases.
268
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:18,439
- Right, and, um,
what I wanna do with it is...
269
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:24,308
Fix up the break room.
270
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:27,446
- Yo, this is gonna be dope.
We're gonna get all these lamps.
271
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:30,277
- What?
I get a new bucket.
272
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,123
- A bucket?
- Yeah, a new one.
273
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:39,788
- Hey, look, I just wanted
to clarify about earlier
274
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,927
when I was smiling,
that I wasn't.
275
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:46,158
I mean, I wasn't smiling at you.
See, I was pretending to smile
276
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,766
because Glenn is, like,
trying to make people happy,
277
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:49,999
and, like, was doing,
so I was...
278
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:53,472
Look, point is,
I wasn't being weird.
279
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,776
- Right, okay, so you
accidentally smiled at me,
280
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:58,437
then let your neuroses build up
to the point that you
281
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,905
had to track me down
in the dressing rooms
282
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:04,083
to explain it away...
like a normal person.
283
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,384
- Oh, no, I just...
What... what I was doing...
284
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,146
- Is this your first time?
Is that what this is about?
285
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,216
- No...
- Listen, it's nothing
286
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,057
to be ashamed of, okay?
287
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,188
You're actually the third v-card
I've taken.
288
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,862
And don't you go
falling in love with me.
289
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,257
- What?
290
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,400
- Ooh, a panini press!
We could have hot sandwiches.
291
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,439
- Uh, okay, yeah.
Put it in the cart.
292
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,208
What?
I love hot sandwiches.
293
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,809
Ask anybody.
- I just thought
294
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,279
that the rest of the money
was gonna go to this gal.
295
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,948
- It is because
what makes me happy
296
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,449
is seeing other people be happy.
297
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,580
- Oh, really?
Great, because I would be
298
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:44,816
so happy if I had
a psychedelic lava lamp.
299
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:48,125
- Great, that's...
Okay, thank you.
300
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:55,167
Really nice with my brand-new
framed photo of Ronald Regan.
301
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,368
- That too.
302
00:13:56,369 --> 00:14:01,069
- Fantastic, do we sell
above-ground pools?
303
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:11,217
- Uh, hey, don't get up.
Uh, are you the one
304
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:13,478
I'm supposed to talk to
about changing the water cooler
305
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,086
in the pharmacy?
- Nah, man.
306
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:19,588
- Oh, I'd do it myself,
but not waterproof.
307
00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:21,327
It's heavy though,
you wanna try it on?
308
00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:22,958
Nah, I'm cool.
309
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,930
Don't be shy.
My other one's better,
310
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,361
of course.
Wouldn't wear it here.
311
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,226
Way too expensive.
- What it do, Pikachu?
312
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,038
- Ugh.
313
00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:39,035
- Well, that was weird.
- No, it wasn't weird.
314
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,945
It was completely normal.
315
00:14:40,947 --> 00:14:44,347
Everything... I'm chill, man.
316
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:45,621
- Okay.
317
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:51,891
- Hey, excuse me, uh, my son
is taking dishes off the shelves
318
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,158
and smashing them on the floor.
319
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,089
Can you, uh, stop him?
320
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,395
I don't want him to think
of me as a bad guy.
321
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,267
- Um, let me find someone
to help you with that.
322
00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:06,096
Where is everybody?
323
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:19,345
- This is the best day
of my life.
324
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,152
- You just had a baby.
325
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:26,957
- What ya doing there, buddy?
326
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,090
Hi.
327
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,667
Oh, you're... oh, okay,
uh, here, hand me one.
328
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:38,098
I got ya, I got ya.
Thanks... ooh!
329
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:43,273
This is real heavy.
330
00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:48,147
You going somewhere?
331
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:52,518
Oh, you're taking the stairs.
Uh, I'm gonna take the elevator.
332
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:57,087
- Mommy, look!
333
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,058
- I know,
he's taking the elevator.
334
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,726
- No, he's just
bending his knees.
335
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,987
Come on.
- Hey.
336
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,556
- Anyone could tell
that's what he was doing.
337
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,064
- Cranky mime.
338
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,706
- Ooh, that's nice.
339
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:17,037
Oh, hey, Tate,
can I get a turn on that?
340
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,677
- There's a sign-up sheet.
341
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:21,647
- Oh, it looks like
you've signed yourself up
342
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,108
for the rest of the day.
343
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,746
- Well, there's no rule
against it.
344
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:28,287
I'm not gonna apologize for
taking advantage of a loophole.
345
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:31,218
- Tate, get your ass
out of my chair.
346
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,258
- What?
It's all of our chair.
347
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,427
- No, actually,
I bought the chair
348
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:38,497
with the money I found
because I wanted everybody
349
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,498
to be happy, including me.
So get out of my chair
350
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,269
before I pull you out by your
greasy, little hair plugs.
351
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,270
- All right, all right,
I'm getting up, you psycho.
352
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,773
- Thank you.
353
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,635
- And threatening a pharmacist,
by the way?
354
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,778
That's a felony.
Probably.
355
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:56,749
- Oh, this is so nice.
356
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,380
I'm relaxing now.
357
00:16:58,385 --> 00:16:59,775
- I see that.
358
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,446
- Guess what.
I found the guy
359
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,089
who lost the $900.
360
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,090
- Whoa, it looks great in here.
361
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:11,755
- So I read the date
of the receipt
362
00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:13,495
for the Arizona iced tea
and remembered
363
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,730
that I had sold it
seven months ago.
364
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,702
- Right, 'cause you have
that awesome memory
365
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,773
- I have highly superior
autobiographical memory,
366
00:17:20,774 --> 00:17:22,441
like Marilu Henner.
- Oh.
367
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,076
- Anyway, I remembered
selling the same man a pack
368
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,377
of tube socks back
on March 29th, so I searched
369
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,048
the loyalty card database
and there he was.
370
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,479
Stuart Mitchell.
371
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,286
- Thank you so much
for calling me.
372
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,156
I work with my church
counseling at-risk youth,
373
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,057
and this was the money
I'd gotten together
374
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:40,759
to organize
a field trip to Peru.
375
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,290
- I'm sorry, I just think
it's a little suspicious
376
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,226
that you have this
perfect excuse planned out
377
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,666
for why you needed the money,
and it just so happens
378
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:49,597
to make you look
like a nice guy.
379
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,802
- Yeah, if the shorts
are really yours,
380
00:17:50,804 --> 00:17:52,538
what else was in the pockets?
381
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,769
- Oh, um, I think
that day I'd taken away
382
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,535
a bit of a joint from one kid,
383
00:17:57,544 --> 00:18:00,079
and some dirty pictures
from another one.
384
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,780
- Nice.
- Then why don't you explain
385
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,817
the dip, huh?
What about the dip?
386
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,848
- I use dip.
387
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,753
That checks out.
388
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,856
- It's a good try.
- Thank you.
389
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:16,829
You guys have a really nice
break room.
390
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:19,100
- We did.
- Sure did.
391
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:30,438
- I know this is a weird time,
but my birthday's on Friday,
392
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,312
and it's gonna be
at Dave and Buster's.
393
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,277
I'll just email you the details.
394
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:47,226
- Hey.
- Hey.
395
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,727
- What's wrong?
- Nothin', I'm cool.
396
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,758
Just chillin'.
- So weird.
397
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:54,766
- You're the weird one!
398
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,697
You're so weird
that nobody even can tell
399
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,203
how weird you really are
'cause you make weird normal!
400
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:01,235
If there was a day
that you acted normal,
401
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,641
now that would be weird, right?
402
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,776
Right?
Oh, oh, okay.
403
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:05,807
I'm the crazy one?
404
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,712
Maybe so.
I am yelling in public,
405
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,745
which is not something
I normally do,
406
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:14,486
completely out of character,
possibly a little crazy!
407
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,617
Can I help you, Turtleneck?
You need some help?
408
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:20,424
Now, if anybody needs me,
I'll be in my car
409
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,686
listening to yacht rock
and eating two Take 5s
410
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:25,295
to calm myself down!
411
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,398
Whoo!
412
00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:43,479
You know, some days
you get the giraffe,
413
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,817
some days you get the wig.
414
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:46,848
- I'm sorry?
415
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,753
- It's an expression.
416
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:49,845
You haven't heard that?
417
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:52,820
Okay.
418
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:57,729
I mean,
I did everything I could.
419
00:19:57,730 --> 00:20:01,900
Just some people just don't
want to be cheered up.
420
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,201
Maybe it's just
the time of year.
421
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:13,678
- Adam's sleeping
in the basement.
422
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,810
Yeah.
423
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,916
I told him I wasn't happy.
424
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,447
I don't know what
I expected him to say,
425
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,753
but he said,
"I'm not happy either,"
426
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:26,315
which is definitely not
what I expected him to say.
427
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,786
And, so, we talked about it,
and then we yelled about it,
428
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:32,996
and then we just
stopped talking.
429
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,329
And now it's all weird and tense
430
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:39,565
and Emma's all upset
and it's just... it's miserable.
431
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:44,813
Amy, I am so sorry.
432
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,411
Do you want a balloon animal?
433
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:54,316
No, thank you.
434
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,350
It is kind of nice
to talk about it though.
435
00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:58,916
- Well, talk away.
436
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,395
Okay.
437
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:17,777
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
33562