Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:03,398
- Hey!
Kyle the Cloud 9 Cloud here!
2
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:06,374
And I'm about
to make it rain savings!
3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,742
15% off all dental products!
4
00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:12,105
You want the tooth?
5
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,481
You can't handle the tooth!
6
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,649
Meatballs with a chance
of clouds?
7
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,118
Give me a break!
8
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:19,119
A dance break!
9
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,359
He killed 14 people
10
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:31,156
about Daniel Hertzler,
11
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,625
better known to millions
as Kyle the Cloud 9 Cloud.
12
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:37,170
- Damn, when white people go
crazy, they really do it up.
13
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,201
- Yeah, we pretty much still
have the market cornered
14
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,366
on serial killing.
15
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,609
It's one of the last
non-integrated industries.
16
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:45,240
- Okay, look, this is not
the best in-store viewing.
17
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,546
Amy, could you change it?
18
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:47,547
- Right.
Got it.
19
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,548
Um...
20
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,149
Oh.
- Oh, no, no.
21
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,251
No, that just made it worse.
22
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:52,719
- Yeah, thank you, Jonah.
23
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,687
- I'm sorry, Amy,
could you just let me do it?
24
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,418
Do you mind if I try?
Thank you.
25
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,590
And purchased
at a Cloud 9 store.
26
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,821
- Oh, no.
27
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,656
Evenly portioned pieces
28
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,230
with their genitals preserved
in pickling jars.
29
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,231
- That makes sense.
- Oh.
30
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,366
- We sell pickle jars?
31
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:07,827
- No, no.
- It's not working.
32
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,395
We're gonna have to
drown this out.
33
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,239
Everybody sing, okay?
34
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,511
Come on, what's wrong with you?
35
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,412
Garrett, give me a beat
or something.
36
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,414
Anything.
37
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,815
Okay.
38
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,488
Cry it out!
39
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,259
- Cry it out!
40
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,325
- As most of you may have heard,
our company spokesman
41
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:43,169
has been accused
of some improprieties.
42
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,737
- By improprieties,
you mean killing
43
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:48,568
Or is there a tax evasion thing
going on as well?
44
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,736
- The killing and eating.
45
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:53,413
I can't speak
to his tax situation.
46
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,414
Anyway, does anybody
have any questions?
47
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:58,616
- What is the difference between
a zombie and a cannibal?
48
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,519
- Oh, okay, a zombie is undead,
49
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,356
and a cannibal's just, like,
a dude who eats people.
50
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:06,487
- So I kind of meant
work-related questions.
51
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:07,494
- But I'm right though?
52
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,485
- He is correct.
53
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,126
- I have
a work-related question.
54
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,561
What security measures are we
taking to avoid revenge crimes?
55
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,866
- Revenge crimes?
56
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:16,436
- Families of the victims
trying to eat us as payback.
57
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,867
I mean, that's what I would do.
58
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:20,472
- Okay, let's not rush
to judgment.
59
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,642
These are just allegations.
60
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,443
I'm sure he didn't do it.
61
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:25,505
- Wait, Glenn?
62
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,780
Why are you so sure
he didn't do it?
63
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:32,318
- Because, Amy, I met Kyle at a
corporate conference last year.
64
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,387
We had a great conversation.
65
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,518
He seemed like a good guy.
66
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,392
I guess there's no reason
for a trial.
67
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:42,862
- I am telling you,
there is no way that good man
68
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,798
could have done
this horrible thing.
69
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:46,829
Right, Jeff?
70
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,765
- Uh-huh.
71
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:03,547
- You know, this was creepy
even before he murdered people.
72
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,451
- This paint smells
like wet dog,
73
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:08,288
and it's gonna take at least
three coats to cover this.
74
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,619
This is the worst day ever.
75
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,591
- The worst.
76
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,827
- I mean, obviously,
Kyle the Cloud's victims...
77
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,458
- Yeah.
No, no.
78
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:19,432
- Had a worse day when he ate
their flesh off their bones.
79
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,601
- Terrible day.
That was a terrible day.
80
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,602
Goes without saying.
Yeah.
81
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,571
- Yeah.
82
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:27,640
- Although, at least their
suffering is over, you know?
83
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,576
Ours has just begun.
84
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,377
- Is it insensitive
that I'd rather
85
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,578
be in Kyle the Cloud's basement?
86
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:33,580
- No.
87
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,211
At least you could read
down there.
88
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,776
- So dark and cool.
89
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,346
- That would be so nice.
90
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,288
- That's my baby sleeping.
91
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,421
- Oh, cool.
- Aww.
92
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,726
- Sleeping.
93
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,727
So cute.
94
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,296
- Sleeping.
- Like a little angel.
95
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,497
- Sleeping.
96
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:54,867
Oh. Oh, my gosh,
this next one's kind of funny.
97
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,798
Sleeping.
98
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,239
- Okay, guys, guys, guys,
I need everyone's opinion.
99
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,440
Especially you, Garrett,
since your brand is telling it
100
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,442
like it is.
101
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,643
- Oh, thank you for noticing.
102
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,578
- - Did you guys pick up on
any weird tension
103
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,447
between me and Jeff
at that meeting?
104
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,578
'Cause I think he might
be into me.
105
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:15,845
Oh, I thought you were joking.
106
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:16,856
No.
107
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:17,917
- I am so sorry.
108
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,955
Stop bullying, Sandra.
109
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,560
- Why do you think
he's into you?
110
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,563
- Okay,
the last time he was here,
111
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,665
he came up to me
at the end of the day,
112
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,667
looked me straight in the eyes
and said,
113
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,700
"I noticed you."
114
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:34,841
He said, "I noticed you"?
115
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:37,278
Ooh, Jeff is slutty.
116
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,948
- Okay, it's not what he said,
it's how he said it.
117
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:42,949
It wasn't like...
118
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:43,950
"I noticed you."
119
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,819
It was like...
120
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,350
"I noticed you."
121
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:50,390
No, that wasn't it.
122
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,021
It was more like...
123
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:53,956
"I noticed you."
124
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,491
Ah, that sounded Scottish.
125
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,926
Dungeon where the actor would
videotape himself
126
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,032
dismembering and devouring
his victims,
127
00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:02,965
often while in cloud costume.
128
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,537
- Oh, God.
129
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,368
- I've said it once,
I'll say it again:
130
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,441
you are a terrible
judge of character.
131
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,877
Also you have a weak chin
and you can't dance.
132
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,538
Additional items
found on the property
133
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,076
were a coffin filled with hair
134
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:16,381
and several small bags
of marijuana.
135
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,551
- Wait, they found marijuana?
136
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,386
This is incredible!
137
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:21,387
- Oh, no!
138
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:22,818
Get that weak chin off me!
139
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,491
- They found marijuana!
140
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,428
He was high!
141
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,659
- I hate him.
142
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,704
So much.
143
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,368
- We definitely need smocks
144
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,069
- Hello, Clarice.
145
00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,572
Oh, gross, stop.
146
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:45,378
- It's crazy how much Kyle stuff
we have to throw away.
147
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:48,509
Corporate really put their money
on "not a cannibal."
148
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,845
- Oh, God, they used to make us
wear this suit
149
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:51,981
to hand out flyers.
150
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,446
- Dare you to put it on.
151
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,685
- No.
No, thank you.
152
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,089
You don't want to put on
the cloud suit
153
00:05:58,092 --> 00:06:00,426
because you've already got
a big chicken suit on
154
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,687
'cause you're a big chicken.
155
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,056
- Oh, my God.
156
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,500
Is that supposed to pressure me
into putting the suit on?
157
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,631
You're right, you're right.
158
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,495
Doing awesome things
is overrated.
159
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,404
Just go back to painting.
160
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:16,138
Well, grab an umbrella
161
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:19,011
'cause there's a cloud
moving in.
162
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,012
Psssh.
163
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,147
- What does that even mean?
164
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,478
Oh, my God!
You're doing it.
165
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,750
Okay, sorry.
Say your cool line again.
166
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:24,917
Say it.
- Well, grab...
167
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:25,978
No, we're past it.
168
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:37,630
Today, of all days,
she's dressed like the killer.
169
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,061
Why would she do that?
170
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,626
Hi.
171
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:41,968
- Oh.
172
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,499
- Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
173
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,772
I wouldn't let my kids
touch that.
174
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,007
- It says on your website
that all your rooms
175
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,038
have Animal Planet.
176
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,109
- Hey there.
177
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,678
I noticed you were on the phone.
178
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,647
- No, it's not life or death,
it's just, you know,
179
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,148
at the end of a hard day,
sometimes you want to come home
180
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:58,550
and watch some monkeys swinging
around on the trees.
181
00:06:58,552 --> 00:06:59,752
- I'm just gonna come
back later.
182
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,522
- I'm sorry, could you hold on
one second please?
183
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,023
Hey.
184
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,091
There's something
I'd like to ask you,
185
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,492
but I feel
a little weird about it.
186
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,661
- Oh, no.
Please, please.
187
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,797
- Yeah?
- Yep, ask away.
188
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:13,666
- Somebody vomited
in the ladies room,
189
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,927
multiple stalls.
190
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,136
Would you mind?
191
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,638
- Of course.
192
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,640
- Great, thank you.
Thanks.
193
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,942
I appreciate that.
194
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,943
Hi, yes, while I have you
on the phone,
195
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,045
I wanted to ask you
why the curtains were gone
196
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,477
when I got back last night.
197
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,050
I'd prefer to have them.
198
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,881
- Just louder.
- I'm hungry.
199
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:33,886
What is wrong with her?
200
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,217
I'm hungry.
201
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,689
- Amy.
202
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:39,090
What are you wearing that for?
203
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,092
- Be... Jonah...
204
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,493
- Ah, buh, buh, buh, buh.
205
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:45,495
- I'm dressed in this costume
to show my support
206
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,067
for the cannibal lifestyle.
207
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:49,569
- Oh.
208
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,237
Oh, well, as it turns out,
209
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,568
Kyle was not a cannibal.
210
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,708
He was only killing
and eating people
211
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,209
because he was high
on marijuana.
212
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,247
What?
213
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,949
- It's just that I don't think
that marijuana turns people
214
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,486
into murderers.
215
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:10,756
- Otherwise we'd literally
be surrounded by killers.
216
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:14,227
- You don't think people in
this store do marijuana, do you?
217
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:16,858
- I mean...
218
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,864
- Uh, probably.
219
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,066
- Well, how... how many of them?
220
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,268
- Like...
221
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,271
Half.
222
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,839
- Half?
223
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,640
Wait, half do, or half don't?
224
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,577
It's both.
225
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:33,809
Both?
226
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:36,949
- Okay, so, tummy time
is literally just a baby
227
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,750
spending time on its tummy.
228
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:39,819
Hmm.
229
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,620
- Wait, she's gonna turn
her head...
230
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,257
now.
231
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,626
Nope, now.
232
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,257
Nope, now.
233
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,262
Nope.
234
00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:53,099
Oh, sorry, guys, bad timing.
235
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:57,036
Hi, Bo, I was just showing them
the tummy time video.
236
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:00,306
No, not that one, the good one.
237
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,537
- This has got to stop.
238
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:02,772
- Thank you.
239
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,836
- She is breaking
an unspoken social contract.
240
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,845
You show one photo.
241
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,077
One.
242
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,616
And we all say it's
the cutest baby we ever seen
243
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,747
even if it's creepy,
which it is,
244
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,253
because it's
a shrunken-down human,
245
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,022
and then we all move on
with our lives.
246
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,057
- I mean, I have a ton
of photos of my dogs,
247
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,688
but no one wants to see those.
248
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,261
Right?
249
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,262
- Right.
250
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,663
- Yeah.
251
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,545
Not even the one where
they're dressed as Ewoks.
252
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,236
- All right, you know
I got to see that.
253
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,637
Okay, come on now.
254
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,238
Oh, no.
255
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,270
Yeah.
256
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,874
Little Ewok dog.
257
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,076
You stealing a speeder?
258
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,977
You can't drive a speeder,
Ewok dog.
259
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,081
- Hey, Cody.
260
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,112
- Hey.
261
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,616
- Hey.
Just ignore me.
262
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:58,931
Just wanted to tell you
I value you.
263
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:01,831
- Thank you.
264
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,735
I appreciate that.
265
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,897
I'm going to go over there,
okay?
266
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,837
- If you're smelling the
workers, you gotta smell Elias.
267
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,306
On Thursdays he smells like ham.
268
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,145
It's hilarious.
269
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,850
- Dina, do you think that
marijuana could've had anything
270
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,320
to do with what Kyle did?
271
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,688
- That's just about
the stupidest thing
272
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:23,689
you've ever said.
273
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,320
Fine.
274
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,155
I'm just wondering
if I have to start
275
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,760
drug testing the employees.
276
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,231
- But you always say that
you don't want to do that.
277
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:36,068
- I know, but if the alternative
is someone in this store
278
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,169
getting eaten.
279
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,800
- Oh, wow.
Ooh.
280
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,106
Well, to be safe, I mean,
I could do a surprise
281
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,640
comprehensive drug test,
but that's your call.
282
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:46,746
I mean, I could go either way.
283
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,377
Do it, don't do it.
284
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:51,017
I mean, if I had to decide,
I guess I'm leaning towards
285
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,718
do it.
286
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,817
- Yes.
Okay.
287
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:57,890
Go for it.
288
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:58,891
- It's up to you.
289
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:09,831
I'm coming for you, Tommy Chong.
290
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:10,996
I'm coming for you.
291
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:18,411
- How much longer do I have?
292
00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:19,779
- Three minutes.
293
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,848
You can just give up.
294
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:23,979
- Nope!
295
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:27,054
I take not being a chicken
very seriously.
296
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:32,419
I'm doing a dare.
297
00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:34,326
I'm winning.
298
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,096
- The test will detect any drugs
in your system.
299
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,457
We're talking marijuana,
cocaine, heroin,
300
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:40,796
methamphetamines.
301
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,071
- What about power pellets?
302
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,104
- I don't see that.
What are they?
303
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,866
- Oh, you just take
some big boppers,
304
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,042
you cut in some fetty wap,
you put a little disco shake
305
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,243
on there, and then you roll that
up in some Doc McStuffins.
306
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,876
Smoke it.
307
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,381
Get real high.
308
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,083
- All right, we're gonna be
testing for everything, okay?
309
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:02,016
- Excuse me, I just remembered
I have to leave early.
310
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:05,291
I have a thing at the place.
- What place?
311
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,892
- That place. You know, the one
we talked about earlier.
312
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,194
- You talked to me about it?
313
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:12,826
- Yeah, I filled out
an application and Brett saw it,
314
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,200
he said it's cool, so...
315
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,868
- You spoke to Brett about it?
316
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,969
Okay, nobody is leaving until
I get three ounces of yellow,
317
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:18,971
all right?
318
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:25,077
- Okay, look, everyone, Dina has
my full support on this.
319
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,278
Okay, this is
for your protection.
320
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,110
- Look, people, if you haven't
done any drugs
321
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,916
in the last 72 hours,
you have nothing to worry about.
322
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,386
- What about way too much wine?
323
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,387
I'm so bad.
324
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,957
- Justine,
you're not an alcoholic.
325
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,158
Stop bragging.
326
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,190
- Attention Cloud 9 shoppers:
327
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,856
we hope you're having
a lovely day.
328
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,495
If you have any questions
or concerns,
329
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:50,536
please find our lead salesman,
Charles.
330
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:51,967
- Is there anything
we should know about him?
331
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,872
He is in charge.
332
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,270
- Hey, Mateo.
- Hey.
333
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,376
- Hi.
334
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,308
Do you think I could
have your number?
335
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,313
- My number?
336
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,445
Sure, you can have my number.
337
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,951
It's 314...
- Mm-hmm.
338
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,354
- 982.
- Got it.
339
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:47,425
Employee number 314982 is
getting a letter of commendation
340
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,227
in his file.
341
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,897
- Oh.
342
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,258
- For cleaning up the vomit.
343
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,896
- Yeah.
344
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:57,501
- You are a good vomit mopper.
345
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:01,365
- Damn.
346
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,610
It is getting steamy in here.
347
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:08,412
- I'm just saying,
usually one person dares
348
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,215
and then the other person
has to do it.
349
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,417
You... you understand that, right?
350
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,918
- Yep, I get it.
351
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:16,619
- Oh, listen, if you want to do
this thing alone, by all means.
352
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:17,623
- Nope.
- I have no problem...
353
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:18,959
- All right, hold on.
354
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,393
- Sorry!
Sorry!
355
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,494
Move out of the way!
356
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,225
- Hands up!
- Okay, okay!
357
00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:30,636
- Hey, guys.
358
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,197
- Hey, Jeff.
- Hi, Jeff.
359
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:34,365
- What are you doing?
360
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:37,376
- Product testing.
361
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,237
- Product testing.
362
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,576
- Okay.
363
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:43,511
- Bye, Jeff.
364
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,648
That was awesome.
365
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,920
- Yep.
One more time?
366
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,388
- Yeah.
- How do we get back there?
367
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,656
- Let's... I don't know.
368
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:52,887
Shimmy over?
369
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,593
- Is it moving?
- We're getting it.
370
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,355
- Hey, how's it going?
- Great.
371
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,965
We get the results tomorrow and
I'll call everyone who's fired.
372
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,427
Actually, I'll just call those
who aren't fired.
373
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,135
It'll save me some time.
374
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,406
- No, I don't want to
start firing people.
375
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,937
Okay, look, maybe we shouldn't
be doing this.
376
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:12,935
- Look, I get it.
377
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,246
You love these people.
378
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,407
I do too, but we told them there
would be a urine test,
379
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:20,116
- I... I don't believe
that's true.
380
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,550
- It is true.
381
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,554
They'll think we're weak
and they'll think we're liars.
382
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,356
Is that who we are?
383
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,688
Huh?
384
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,193
Are we weak liars?
385
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,562
- No, we're strong
truth tellers.
386
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,431
- Heck yeah we are.
Pep up.
387
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,000
The lab comes at 5:00.
388
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,666
You know that's human urine,
right?
389
00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,272
Suit yourself.
390
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,110
- When she's hungry,
it's like...
391
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,178
But when she's tired,
it's like...
392
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,050
And when she's...
393
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,221
- Just shut up about the baby!
394
00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:55,619
- Oh.
395
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,690
Um, okay.
396
00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:59,058
- What?
397
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,959
- What, was I talking too much
about the baby?
398
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,091
I can stop.
399
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,230
- Oh.
400
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:07,066
- Great.
Well, thank you.
401
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,997
I mean, it's not that we don't
want to hear about your baby,
402
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,503
it's just that it's been a lot.
403
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,965
- No, I understand.
404
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,508
It's like you
with your sneakers.
405
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,576
- What you mean?
406
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,237
- Oh, you know,
how you're always like,
407
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:22,105
"Oh, yeah, I just ordered
my pair of retro Jordans
408
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,575
that are coming in two days."
409
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,518
- "You can only get these kicks
in Japan."
410
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,659
Really seeing everybody's
true colors today.
411
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,660
Real cool.
412
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,436
- Well, I'm taking off.
413
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:45,997
- All right, have a good night.
414
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,566
- I gotta stop by
the hotel first.
415
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:51,310
I guess there was some kind of
a rodent/bedbug fire.
416
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,746
So that's...
417
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:57,147
And after that, though, I was
gonna hit the new Italian place.
418
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,150
Are you busy?
419
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,518
- Nope.
420
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,488
In aisle six?
421
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:05,089
- No, I was just wondering
if you wanted to get dinner.
422
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,725
- You mean, like,
pick it up for you?
423
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,797
- No, I mean, like,
take you out to dinner
424
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,766
to the Italian place
that I just mentioned.
425
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:16,567
Have you never been asked out
on a date before?
426
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,169
- You're asking me out
on a date?
427
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,171
- Uh-huh.
428
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,140
I knew it!
429
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,461
Oh, I thought,
but then Garrett...
430
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,376
Ha!
I knew it.
431
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,246
- So is that a yes?
432
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,377
- Oh.
433
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,417
I haven't even
really thought about that.
434
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,186
I usually don't date white guys,
but you know what?
435
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,287
Sure, why not?
436
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,518
- Oh, my God,
I cannot wait to tell Garrett
437
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:39,655
that I was right about this.
438
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,226
I'm gonna rub it
in his stupid face.
439
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,457
- Well, you see, this is where
it gets a little touchy.
440
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,732
Just as a manager, I shouldn't
really be dating any employees,
441
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:50,069
so we would have to keep this
between us
442
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,237
if that's okay.
443
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,398
- Yeah.
444
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,436
You're the boss.
445
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:01,080
I should really get on
that dead pigeon.
446
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,281
- Yes, I didn't want to ask
447
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,852
'cause I didn't want
to ruin the moment.
448
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,086
- Hey, Glenn.
- Mm.
449
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,087
- What's going on?
450
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:11,118
- Oh, I'm just having a bad day.
451
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,257
- You want to talk about it?
452
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,288
I'm happy to be your blender.
453
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,527
- My blender?
454
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,628
- Yeah, you know, like,
you give me your thoughts
455
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,431
and your feelings, and I'll mix
'em up and give you back
456
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,602
something real good.
457
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,171
- Okay, I'm not sure I made
the right decision
458
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,507
about this whole
drug testing thing.
459
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,476
- Yeah, it's a bit extreme.
460
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:35,377
Sort of like a... it's like
a watermelon-sized reaction.
461
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:36,481
- Watermelon.
- Yeah.
462
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:39,651
- It's just,
I was so wrong about Kyle.
463
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,387
It makes me question how much
I really know the people
464
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:43,588
around here.
465
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,390
- Sure, you don't know
everything about everyone,
466
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,159
but you know
the important stuff.
467
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,660
Like, you know that Garrett
is a can of soup.
468
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:53,198
You know,
he's hard on the outside,
469
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:56,268
but warm and soft on the inside.
470
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,599
- He is a can of soup.
471
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:58,670
- Yeah.
472
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:02,441
And Cheyenne is...
Cheyenne's a yoga mat.
473
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,142
She's colorful and she's fun,
474
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:07,775
and... then also
she's, like, a little thick.
475
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:08,847
- Yeah.
Ah.
476
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:09,848
- Yeah, yeah.
477
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:14,749
And... and Jonah
is an alarm clock.
478
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:17,823
He's just, like,
so annoying in the morning.
479
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,458
- So annoying.
480
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,559
- Yeah, you just kinda wanna...
481
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,860
- I'd like to throw him
at the wall some days.
482
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,163
- Right?
483
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:28,465
And you're the golf club.
You know?
484
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,698
You're... you're the one that...
485
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,740
You're the one that...
486
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:37,441
- That drives the worker balls
487
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,846
soaring towards
their full potential.
488
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,507
- Yes.
- Yeah!
489
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,845
- Exactly.
490
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,918
- Thank you, Amy.
491
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:47,786
You've really got a way
with words.
492
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:53,487
- Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go tee off on someone.
493
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,298
- Dina, cancel the tests.
494
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,771
The golf club is here.
495
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,206
- What are you talking about?
496
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,737
- I'll tell you
what I'm talking about.
497
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,577
We...
- Whoa, whoa!
498
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:12,738
- Don't...
499
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,445
need...
500
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:15,577
these...
501
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,322
anymore.
502
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:21,445
- My coffee cup's in there.
503
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:25,219
- Yes, it is.
504
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,733
Okay, Amy.
505
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:34,295
Hey.
506
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,300
How's it going?
507
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:36,568
Good to see you.
Good afternoon.
508
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,369
It is cold in here, isn't it?
509
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,601
They crank that A/C up.
510
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:40,766
I need a drink myself.
511
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:41,773
Hi.
512
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:42,774
Good afternoon.
513
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:43,765
Hey.
514
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,336
Be careful what you wish for
515
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,675
'cause you just might a-get it.
516
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:50,649
- Oh, hey, man.
517
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,980
- Oh, hey, Adam.
518
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:54,815
What... how's it... what's...
What's going on, man?
519
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,451
- Adam just came to pick me up.
520
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,456
- Yeah, me too.
521
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,357
I mean, I'm going as well.
522
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,989
It's the end of the day.
523
00:21:00,994 --> 00:21:02,461
I'm tired myself.
524
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,562
Yeah, I get it.
525
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,333
I was just... just coming
to say good-bye.
526
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:08,929
I'll catch you on the flip side,
all right, bro?
527
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:09,925
It's good to see you.
528
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:10,966
- Okay.
529
00:21:14,506 --> 00:21:15,736
- So...
530
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,342
what was that about?
531
00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:18,443
- Um...
532
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,444
nothing.
533
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,945
He's just weird.
36352
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
