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1
00:00:01,173 --> 00:00:02,793
Valco. Serves you right.
2
00:00:02,844 --> 00:00:05,424
I'm quite nervous.
You won't beat our prices.
3
00:00:05,564 --> 00:00:08,464
Can she stop that now?
Fish and ticks.
4
00:00:08,544 --> 00:00:09,584
Red-hot deals.
5
00:00:09,724 --> 00:00:11,824
Offers on everything from
booze to biscuits.
6
00:00:11,964 --> 00:00:13,723
Loads of 2-for-1s.
7
00:00:13,724 --> 00:00:15,644
Boom!
8
00:00:15,824 --> 00:00:17,404
Fresh produce. Delivered daily.
9
00:00:17,564 --> 00:00:19,823
Am I getting paid for this?
Don't forget the Valco tick.
10
00:00:19,824 --> 00:00:21,404
Oh, Valco tick. That way.
11
00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,344
Serves you right.
12
00:00:23,484 --> 00:00:24,784
Valco! Serves you right.
13
00:00:24,944 --> 00:00:27,323
Valco! Serves you right!
14
00:00:29,805 --> 00:00:32,525
Good morning. Good morning.
Good morning. Good morning.
15
00:00:32,855 --> 00:00:37,935
Now, most stores would close
during a refit,
16
00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:39,739
but you know what I said to HQ?
17
00:00:39,828 --> 00:00:43,028
I said that you guys would
want to be here to see
18
00:00:43,108 --> 00:00:45,568
the birth of your Breakout Zone.
19
00:00:45,668 --> 00:00:49,347
Er, the memo I have here says
that it's going to be a coffee shop.
20
00:00:49,348 --> 00:00:53,548
It's not a coffee shop.
A Breakout Zone is a neutral space.
21
00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:56,650
Somewhere shoppers can escape,
you know, breathe,
22
00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:59,550
suck down the cappuccino.
23
00:00:59,710 --> 00:01:04,330
Now, those without an imagination
might call it a coffee shop.
24
00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:07,370
But the Breakout Zone
is beyond that, isn't it?
25
00:01:07,530 --> 00:01:11,069
I've never read a memo, Gav. Never
written one. Don't see the point.
26
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:13,790
If you want me,
drop me an SMS. Beep.
27
00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:16,510
Now...
28
00:01:17,790 --> 00:01:23,050
I can hear you all thinking, "How
do I become Valco Better, Rich?"
29
00:01:23,210 --> 00:01:25,450
Oh, my God!
How are you hearing my thoughts?
30
00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:30,589
Well, all will be revealed in a
special Valco Better workshop. Yeah!
31
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:35,069
So would the following Valconites
get ready for some hardcore fun?
32
00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:36,489
Pow! Leighton!
33
00:01:36,490 --> 00:01:39,529
Yeah! How are you doing that?! I was
thinking about having more some fun
34
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,370
and then you said it
and that was amazing...
35
00:01:41,610 --> 00:01:43,550
Lisa! Boom!
36
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:46,090
Margaret... Dave...
37
00:01:46,110 --> 00:01:47,710
Yes! Get in.
38
00:01:47,870 --> 00:01:49,769
Sue... Me?!
39
00:01:49,770 --> 00:01:52,670
Why's he chose them? I think we
might call it "the slow stream".
40
00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:54,710
..and Gavin! What?!
41
00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:58,490
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
42
00:01:58,550 --> 00:02:00,329
Sorry to be a bad news bear
43
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:03,229
but the rest of you will need
to work twice as hard
44
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:06,970
as this will short-staff us
for the day. Sorry, my bad! Now go.
45
00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:09,950
Run free! Enjoy, my puppies!
46
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:12,810
And there is your receipt.
47
00:02:12,970 --> 00:02:16,490
Katie! You coming tonight? Sent you
a text about my birthday drinks.
48
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,790
Oh, yeah, happy birthday.
49
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:21,930
Many happy returns!
My birthday last week, actually.
50
00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:24,810
So are you coming or what?
Oh, I'd love to,
51
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,710
but I've got this paper that
I need to hand in to uni so...
52
00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:29,610
Oh, come on, it'll be mental.
53
00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:32,630
My mates have a got
a competition going -
54
00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:34,410
who can shag the oldest bloke.
55
00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:39,230
That is... mental.
56
00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,649
Sounds very jolly.
57
00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:43,890
And when you say old, what sort
of age are we talking?
58
00:02:43,942 --> 00:02:45,097
You know, roughly?
59
00:02:45,424 --> 00:02:48,644
So how's it going with...
Oh, Jesus... Zumba guy?
60
00:02:48,704 --> 00:02:53,123
Did you, er, see him last night?
Oh, yeah. He's dead sweet.
61
00:02:53,124 --> 00:02:56,284
You, er, done the business yet?
Oi, mind your own beeswax.
62
00:02:56,335 --> 00:02:58,255
Oh, come on,
I haven't had it in over a year.
63
00:02:58,432 --> 00:03:00,752
I need to hear something mucky.
I'm gasping.
64
00:03:00,851 --> 00:03:03,751
You want to hear about my sex life
for your own perverted kicks? Yeah.
65
00:03:05,031 --> 00:03:08,230
Well, he's strong but gentle,
you know?
66
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,190
That's lovely...
67
00:03:09,191 --> 00:03:11,410
And then sometimes,
he'll put like candles out
68
00:03:11,411 --> 00:03:13,971
and give me like a nice massage...
69
00:03:14,131 --> 00:03:16,711
And then he goes straight
down there, you know, for ages.
70
00:03:16,871 --> 00:03:19,711
And he doesn't even come up for air
until my legs have gone
71
00:03:19,891 --> 00:03:22,471
and I'm like, "Ahhhhhh!"
72
00:03:22,531 --> 00:03:24,691
So easy!
73
00:03:26,611 --> 00:03:28,691
Oh, you should have
seen your face. Oh.
74
00:03:34,831 --> 00:03:37,671
Good morning!
75
00:03:37,831 --> 00:03:39,750
Hello!
76
00:03:39,751 --> 00:03:41,191
All right, love. Excuse me!
77
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:45,831
My name is Julie and I am the dep...
I'm the manager of this store today.
78
00:03:45,991 --> 00:03:49,011
Now, I expect you to work quietly
and efficiently
79
00:03:49,071 --> 00:03:51,730
and not to do that thing where you
sit on the loo with a newspaper
80
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,650
for an hour
and then knock off at four.
81
00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:55,110
Now, have you got any questions?
82
00:03:55,111 --> 00:03:59,891
Miss, Miss! Erm, where's yer bog
and do you sell newspapers?
83
00:04:02,471 --> 00:04:05,671
Yes! Aeroplane!
Oh, it's an aeroplane!
84
00:04:05,811 --> 00:04:08,710
Oh, I've got something for you.
Ah, you remembered.
85
00:04:08,711 --> 00:04:10,771
Yeah.
86
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:13,651
Da-da! My contraceptive pills?
87
00:04:13,811 --> 00:04:16,231
Me nan found them. She thought
they were her heart pills.
88
00:04:16,391 --> 00:04:19,811
She's necked half of them.
It's a good job she's not trying for a baby.
89
00:04:19,871 --> 00:04:22,310
So that's what you're giving me
for my birthday?
90
00:04:22,311 --> 00:04:24,870
It's your birthday?!
91
00:04:24,871 --> 00:04:27,590
No. No, no, this isn't
your present, obviously.
92
00:04:27,591 --> 00:04:30,931
No, your present's coming. Really?
Cos it looked like you forgot.
93
00:04:31,111 --> 00:04:34,611
No. I was just saying to Leighton,
wasn't I, about her birthday?
94
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,411
Wasn't I? Er, yeah.
95
00:04:37,471 --> 00:04:40,551
Well, you can give me it tonight.
And my present.
96
00:04:44,391 --> 00:04:46,311
She's going to rip me bollocks off.
97
00:04:47,411 --> 00:04:50,450
Leighton, you're going
on this workshop, right? Yeah.
98
00:04:50,451 --> 00:04:53,030
Find out what she wants for her
birthday. OK. Will do.
99
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:55,431
Um, but I've got a feeling
it's a present.
100
00:05:01,671 --> 00:05:05,030
I love watching a master at work.
You're like Obi-Wan Kenobi.
101
00:05:05,031 --> 00:05:09,011
Who?
You know, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You know.
102
00:05:09,171 --> 00:05:12,391
You don't know who
Obi-Wan Kenobi is? Star Wars?
103
00:05:12,551 --> 00:05:13,650
Never seen it. What?
104
00:05:13,651 --> 00:05:16,931
You've never seen Sta...
Course you have! Everyone has.
105
00:05:17,071 --> 00:05:20,550
Not me. But... Darth Vader? Yoda?
106
00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:23,590
Who do you think the little
bloke on the phone ad is?
107
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,830
Some sort of goblin? What?!
108
00:05:25,831 --> 00:05:28,711
What films have you seen, then?
What's your favourite?
109
00:05:33,191 --> 00:05:34,951
Ah, is there one called...
110
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:38,931
..Legally Blonde.
111
00:05:40,531 --> 00:05:42,151
I only saw half of it.
I didn't like it.
112
00:05:47,751 --> 00:05:49,171
So, guys...
113
00:05:49,251 --> 00:05:52,231
What is "Valco Better"?
114
00:05:52,391 --> 00:05:54,631
That was actually rhetorical,
but go on.
115
00:05:54,791 --> 00:05:56,850
Um, is it if Valco made your home
116
00:05:56,851 --> 00:05:59,271
so you could still be in Valco
after you finish work?
117
00:06:01,571 --> 00:06:04,051
So what is "Valco Better"?
118
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:07,731
Well, let's start by saying
hi...
119
00:06:07,811 --> 00:06:09,331
to our toes.
120
00:06:10,951 --> 00:06:12,391
Let's all stand,
take off your shoes,
121
00:06:12,551 --> 00:06:14,791
let's wiggle your feet about,
really stretch them.
122
00:06:14,871 --> 00:06:15,751
Yeah.
123
00:06:17,971 --> 00:06:18,951
Sniff that.
124
00:06:19,111 --> 00:06:20,850
Oh!
125
00:06:20,851 --> 00:06:24,871
We're simply opening
our spheres of perception.
126
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:28,071
I think I could open them
with my shoes on. Come on, Gavisto. Just get 'em off!
127
00:06:46,951 --> 00:06:49,970
Come on, everyone laugh.
128
00:06:49,971 --> 00:06:51,751
That's it!
129
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:07,110
Come on, Gav, let go of your
inhibitions, yeah?
130
00:07:07,111 --> 00:07:08,530
I really don't need to laugh.
131
00:07:08,531 --> 00:07:10,950
Yes, you do. Come on, it's easy.
132
00:07:10,951 --> 00:07:12,871
Try loosening your genitals.
133
00:07:18,991 --> 00:07:20,851
Who's responsible for this mess?!
134
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,851
You what, love? Cordon it off before
a customer falls over it!
135
00:07:25,031 --> 00:07:28,351
It's deeply irresponsible,
having this huge cable exposed.
136
00:07:28,551 --> 00:07:32,551
Hey, Mike! Lady says she doesn't
like you exposing your huge cable!
137
00:07:33,991 --> 00:07:35,911
And what are these exactly?
138
00:07:35,971 --> 00:07:38,790
They're nuts.
Well, clear those away, too.
139
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,170
She's having a go at your nuts now!
140
00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:44,551
I'm just saying leaving them out
like this could've nearly killed me.
141
00:07:44,711 --> 00:07:46,771
You nearly killed her
with your nuts!
142
00:07:46,791 --> 00:07:48,850
Is there anything else, love?
No. That's all.
143
00:07:48,851 --> 00:07:50,771
I just like to keep a tidy area.
144
00:08:00,211 --> 00:08:03,091
Colin. Colin, Colin... I understand
your good lady Lisa
145
00:08:03,271 --> 00:08:05,971
is out on the town this evening
with her friends... Yeah.
146
00:08:06,131 --> 00:08:09,010
Attractive bunch, are they? No.
147
00:08:09,011 --> 00:08:11,091
Neville, Lisa's mates are rough.
They're well rough.
148
00:08:11,271 --> 00:08:14,450
Oh, right,
I rather like a feisty gal...
149
00:08:14,451 --> 00:08:18,630
Oh, Neville, are you trying to
get your end away with Lisa's mates?
150
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:19,571
No, no.
151
00:08:19,731 --> 00:08:22,450
Actually, do you think that might be
a possibility?
152
00:08:22,451 --> 00:08:25,031
Neville, have you been
invited to this thing tonight?
153
00:08:25,111 --> 00:08:27,250
Ah, yes, that is the other problem.
154
00:08:27,251 --> 00:08:29,751
Oh, yeah. Well, never mind.
155
00:08:29,871 --> 00:08:32,050
No. I'll get that, my friend.
156
00:08:32,051 --> 00:08:33,671
You can shout me
a White Russian later.
157
00:08:35,591 --> 00:08:37,491
By which I'm referring
to the cocktail.
158
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:40,691
It's not a racist plan
to hire a prostitute. So...
159
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,111
OK, listen up, people.
160
00:08:47,271 --> 00:08:50,951
What I'm about to show you is going
to take Valco as we know it,
161
00:08:51,111 --> 00:08:54,151
and literally - pow! -
explode its face off!
162
00:08:57,191 --> 00:08:58,631
Wank?
163
00:09:00,711 --> 00:09:02,311
It's pronounced "once".
164
00:09:02,611 --> 00:09:06,451
Because if you follow
this procedure just once,
165
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:09,491
you will have a Valco shopper
for life.
166
00:09:09,571 --> 00:09:11,431
And we want lifers in this store.
167
00:09:11,571 --> 00:09:13,811
Yeah, it says "wank", though.
168
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:16,071
That's not how you spell "wank".
Yeah, it is.
169
00:09:18,611 --> 00:09:21,191
Look, the point is, it's an acronym.
170
00:09:21,331 --> 00:09:25,310
W-A-A-N-C stands for the
five pillars of Valco Better -
171
00:09:25,311 --> 00:09:28,851
W - Welcome the customer.
172
00:09:29,011 --> 00:09:33,611
A - Ask about them, who they are,
why they've come to Valco.
173
00:09:33,811 --> 00:09:34,611
To shop, probably.
174
00:09:34,771 --> 00:09:37,251
Another A for Advise -
which products might suit them?
175
00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:39,730
Probably the ones
they came to buy.
176
00:09:39,731 --> 00:09:43,691
N for New - which new products
can we introduce them to?
177
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,810
And finally C - a Congratulations!
178
00:09:45,811 --> 00:09:49,670
Let's congratulate them
on shopping here at Valco!
179
00:09:49,671 --> 00:09:50,770
Yes?
180
00:09:50,771 --> 00:09:53,511
Um, er, sorry, er,
can I just ask...
181
00:09:53,651 --> 00:09:56,071
Erm, do you want us WAAN...
182
00:10:01,811 --> 00:10:04,191
..C-ing" every customer
that comes in, Richard?
183
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,651
"Onceing."
184
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:09,411
Every single one.
You, my friends, are all WAANCers!
185
00:10:21,032 --> 00:10:25,232
This is a fact-finding exercise, OK?
186
00:10:25,386 --> 00:10:29,226
So, quick as you can, let's
get to the essence of your customer.
187
00:10:29,366 --> 00:10:32,586
Remember, A is for Ask!
188
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:35,461
Where do you live, Lisa?
189
00:10:35,541 --> 00:10:37,401
Warrington. Oh.
190
00:10:38,841 --> 00:10:41,081
And have you had to come far
this morning?
191
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,960
No, I live in Warrington.
192
00:10:43,961 --> 00:10:47,461
Hmm. And what would
you like for your birthday?
193
00:10:47,541 --> 00:10:48,741
You what?
194
00:10:48,921 --> 00:10:54,520
If a... If a person you knew...
wanted to get you a present,
195
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:55,960
what would that person get you?
196
00:10:55,961 --> 00:10:58,341
Do you fancy me or something,
Leighton? Ooh, no.
197
00:10:58,521 --> 00:11:00,441
Is that why you want to get me
a present? No.
198
00:11:00,581 --> 00:11:02,261
Is it cos you love me?
Do I make your...
199
00:11:02,321 --> 00:11:03,941
willy hard, Leighton?
200
00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:05,701
Er. No. No. No! It's Colin!
201
00:11:05,861 --> 00:11:08,280
Colin asked me to ask you
what you wanted for your birthday
202
00:11:08,281 --> 00:11:09,880
because he hasn't got you anything.
203
00:11:09,881 --> 00:11:11,641
I wish I hadn't!
Oh, typical. What a twat!
204
00:11:11,721 --> 00:11:13,081
I've given it away, haven't I?
205
00:11:13,161 --> 00:11:14,681
Just tell that worthless bell end
206
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:17,401
he'd better get me summat expensive
or I'll castrate him.
207
00:11:22,321 --> 00:11:24,601
What the hell are you playing at?!
What?
208
00:11:24,761 --> 00:11:27,320
Turn that off!
209
00:11:27,321 --> 00:11:28,440
Yes, love?
210
00:11:28,441 --> 00:11:30,980
Tidy this up.
We're getting complaints.
211
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:33,881
Keep your knickers on. We can't
move it till we're finished.
212
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:36,100
You'd better finish
in the next half-hour or else.
213
00:11:36,101 --> 00:11:39,001
Listen, the longer you hold us up,
the longer this is going to take.
214
00:11:39,204 --> 00:11:40,484
Off you go, shoo.
215
00:11:40,564 --> 00:11:41,424
Shoo.
216
00:11:41,504 --> 00:11:42,724
Go on.
217
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:49,764
So how else might we welcome someone
to Valco, besides saying, "Hello"?
218
00:11:49,844 --> 00:11:50,703
Hmm?
219
00:11:50,704 --> 00:11:53,424
Answer - tzz!
220
00:11:53,444 --> 00:11:55,684
Touch.
221
00:11:55,844 --> 00:11:58,724
Touch is a bond, guys.
It links us all,
222
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,024
our molecules combining.
223
00:12:01,264 --> 00:12:04,143
You touch someone,
you're a part of them for ever.
224
00:12:04,144 --> 00:12:05,284
Watch.
225
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:09,344
Hey. Welcome to Valco.
226
00:12:09,404 --> 00:12:11,024
My name's Richard.
227
00:12:11,104 --> 00:12:12,963
Tzz!
228
00:12:12,964 --> 00:12:14,883
Oh, yes, please...
229
00:12:14,884 --> 00:12:17,444
Oh, sorry, I don't
why I just said that.
230
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:19,844
It's OK, darling. It's OK.
So go on, G-dog.
231
00:12:19,984 --> 00:12:24,463
Let's see you give Margaret
a real Valco embrace.
232
00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:26,244
Just... dive in, buddy.
233
00:12:26,404 --> 00:12:29,744
It's not appropriate...
Just touch her... according to the Valco handbook.
234
00:12:29,804 --> 00:12:32,483
I deleted that from my Kindle. It's
not available in digital format.
235
00:12:32,484 --> 00:12:35,504
I'm going to need you to do this,
got it all storyboarded up here.
236
00:12:35,604 --> 00:12:38,404
It's all right, you can touch me.
I don't mind. I'm very open.
237
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:41,763
I just don't think that we should...
Maybe some music would help.
238
00:12:41,764 --> 00:12:44,624
My Alan finds the Test match
theme very relaxing.
239
00:12:45,904 --> 00:12:47,204
Oh, hang on.
240
00:12:49,744 --> 00:12:52,804
Welcome to Valco, Margaret.
241
00:12:52,964 --> 00:12:55,599
Ooh! Oh, I'm sorry, Gavin.
242
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:57,860
Oh, I shouldn't laugh.
I shouldn't laugh.
243
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,260
All right, Gav?
244
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:07,300
Julie?
What crazy mission are you on now?
245
00:13:07,460 --> 00:13:09,540
They're going out of their way
to piss me off!
246
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,879
I'll show them where they can
shove their bloody cable!
247
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,920
Don't tell me that Julie cannot
make a man do what she wants?
248
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,799
Well, no, it's not that...
249
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,040
Because women are born
with that power.
250
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:22,980
Watch. It works with any man.
251
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,799
'Ey, builder boys!
252
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,520
Stop making such a bloody mess, huh?
253
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:33,540
And get this area cordoned off
before I use your dicks to do it!
254
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:36,079
Yes, love. Yeah. We're on it.
255
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:40,239
Come on lads, erm,
let's clear all this. Sorry.
256
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,080
Get those sorted. Get that cable.
Where are we going to put it?
257
00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:49,220
Look, Julie. All it takes...
258
00:13:49,380 --> 00:13:54,339
So now we've come to the
C at the end of our group WAANC.
259
00:13:54,340 --> 00:13:57,039
So let's all stand,
and give the person next to us
260
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:01,039
a big old Valco bear hug
and say it - congratulations!
261
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,480
Congratulations. Congratulations.
262
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,060
Well done. Congratulations.
263
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,079
Gavin, you going to join with
the hugging? No, I'm not.
264
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,540
May I ask why?
265
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,080
Because hugging is
a form of inappropriate contact
266
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,999
forbidden by the Valco handbook.
267
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,560
And I believe in that handbook
and everything that it stands for.
268
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,400
Right-click that thought, Gav.
269
00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:20,580
Right-click it,
open the dropdown menu
270
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,339
and send that baby to the trash.
271
00:14:22,340 --> 00:14:24,719
I genuinely have no idea what
you've just said.
272
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,459
Everyone, sit down.
273
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:28,260
Everyone, stand up.
274
00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:31,760
I said, "Sit down."
275
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,180
And I said, "Stand up."
276
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,039
Sit down!
277
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,300
But you're standing now.
Oh, just forget it!
278
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:43,299
Just forget it! Why don't you...
I really couldn't give a f...
279
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:44,260
f...
280
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:45,680
fart!
281
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,379
Let's hug it out, come on.
282
00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:08,900
Well done, everyone. Come on.
Yeah. Yeah.
283
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,339
Colin.
284
00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:20,259
Colin...
285
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:22,180
Leighton! Ah.
286
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:25,840
All right.
All right. So, did you find out?
287
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,239
Yeah. It wasn't easy, though.
She's a bit scary, isn't she?
288
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,160
She's terrifying.
What did she say?
289
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,699
Oh, right, well, she said that
she lives in Warrington
290
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,599
and then she got really cross,
291
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,939
and then she said she wants you
to buy her something expensive.
292
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:42,800
Expensive? Hmm. How expensive?
293
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,060
I don't know. The most expensive
thing I bought was a kite
294
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,000
but I don't think you should buy
that. Oh, pissing hell.
295
00:15:48,060 --> 00:15:50,560
Expensive? Leighton,
what have I got to buy her?!
296
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,560
I don't know, I don't know,
I don't know...
297
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,299
Also, whatever she says,
I do not love her
298
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,719
and she does not give me a stiffy!
299
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,820
I am so...
300
00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:00,580
You what?
301
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,720
Expensive...
302
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,019
Something bad's about
to happen.
303
00:16:10,020 --> 00:16:14,959
There's a new directive
from head office. We have to hug.
304
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,359
No. I'm not hugging you.
305
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,900
You've got to. Go away.
306
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,179
You don't have a choice.
Give in to the hug.
307
00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:25,059
No. Please. Oh, God.
308
00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:27,620
Oh, can you feel that?
309
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:29,700
All our molecules are mushed up
together.
310
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:30,980
It's horrible.
311
00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:32,560
I love your beard.
312
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:36,100
Ah. Not that. Not that. Not that.
313
00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:38,479
Not that. Erm... Spirits, eh?
314
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,999
Nothing like cosying up with
a bottle of rum of an evening.
315
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,059
No, I've got to get
something expensive
316
00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:47,279
for Lisa's birthday, Neville.
317
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,120
I once surprised my girlfriend
on her birthday with a ring.
318
00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:51,780
A ring?
319
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,219
Yes. We were having a flaming row.
320
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,340
Well, she was.
321
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,699
The next thing, that rather
angry girlfriend
322
00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,439
became my rather angry wife.
323
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,440
Doesn't get much more
romantic than that!
324
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:04,880
So, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You proposed to her?
325
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,520
That'll get me out of it...
That's easy.
326
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,580
Nice one, Neville. Yes!
327
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:16,720
Of course, she pretty much
destroyed my life after that. Yes.
328
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,120
Really tore it apart.
329
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:23,200
Ah, yes, er, Martin. Er, it's
Gavin Strong here, er, Warrington.
330
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:28,399
Look, I just felt that you should
know that Richard France...
331
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,280
It's just not... not working out,
Martin.
332
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:35,759
He's had us laughing in our socks.
And there's been some...
333
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,180
highly irregular... touching...
334
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:47,780
Ah, come on, come on, come on,
come on. Oh, yes!
335
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:49,540
There she is, you little beauty.
336
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:58,660
Oh, erm, sorry, yes,
I got distracted...
337
00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:01,700
So, well, listen,
that's all for now...
338
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,860
and, erm, good to talk.
339
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:09,040
Oh, yeah, you're not there.
Goodbye.
340
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,119
Don't think you're getting
any of that.
341
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,039
Not after forgetting me birthday.
342
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,780
That's all right. I already knocked
one out, so I got nothing left.
343
00:18:27,812 --> 00:18:28,972
But I got something for you.
344
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:32,080
Oh, yeah? What is it?
A bottle of Jager? You cheap sod.
345
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,860
No. It's this.
346
00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:40,260
What's that?
What's it look like, you idiot?
347
00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:44,080
Are you proposing to me? I'm not
going to get down on bended knee.
348
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:46,180
I had a piss here before so...
349
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,100
Have you gone mental?
350
00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:51,300
Come on, you... cow.
351
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,760
How much did this cost?
352
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,540
Fucking loads.
353
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,679
All right, then. I'll marry you.
354
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,919
Yeah? Yeah. Why not?
355
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,620
All right!
356
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:10,960
Ooh, I think I've got something
left in the reserve tank there.
357
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:16,560
Oh, happy times. Good stuff.
How you doing? All right?
358
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:20,580
Jules, A1 work getting those
tool monkeys in line today.
359
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:23,600
I heard they were a bit of a 'mare.
360
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,380
Well. I...
361
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,840
Gosh, thanks, Richard.
362
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,580
Right, I'm off to twist
Gav's melons. See you in a bit.
363
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,479
About what you just heard...
364
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,480
I thought it would be simpler
if I just...
365
00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:42,500
If you took the credit? Hmm?
366
00:19:43,780 --> 00:19:47,460
But of course.
I rejoice in your career.
367
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:48,580
Oh, thanks, Anna.
368
00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:51,620
And you will come to Lisa's
birthday party with me?
369
00:19:53,220 --> 00:19:54,799
Oh, why the bloody hell not?
370
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,259
Yes!
371
00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:59,140
I can't wait to see you wind
that junk in your trunk. Tzz!
372
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,100
Tzz!
373
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:13,840
Look, Gavster, I'm going to open
the kimono here.
374
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:14,659
What?
375
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:18,339
Retraining can be a right sod
when you're stuck in a rut,
376
00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:21,520
but you drink the Kool-Aid
and you get traction.
377
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:24,259
Actually I think I can get
traction by just doing my job.
378
00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:25,640
It was mayhem on the floor today.
379
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:30,340
Oh, come on, Gaveroonie!
This place won't collapse
380
00:20:30,420 --> 00:20:32,720
if you're not around
for a few hours.
381
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:35,920
Just take your foot off the gas,
dude, yeah? Vrr!
382
00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:39,919
Oh, yes, all right, yes, maybe.
383
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,279
You see? We've reached
an understanding. A bond.
384
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,300
Tzz! Tzz!
385
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,980
Bond.
386
00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:48,259
Tzz!
387
00:20:48,260 --> 00:20:49,859
Tzz! Pow!
388
00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:52,879
And if you've got something to say,
just say it to me.
389
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,620
Don't go crying to Martin Shell
like a little bitch.
390
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,360
See you tomorrow.com.
391
00:21:02,820 --> 00:21:05,219
Looks nice, you. You little...
392
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:07,280
Aargh!
393
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:13,359
Katie. Yeah.
394
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:17,700
Is there an airport nearby
or is that my heart taking off?
395
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:20,420
Sorry, what? Too creaky?
396
00:21:20,460 --> 00:21:22,659
I thought I'd tag along for
the birthday celebrations.
397
00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:24,580
Oh, sorry. I'm not going. Right.
398
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:26,979
Do you happen to know where
they are... at all?
399
00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:30,160
No, I don't, sorry.
Right. So, well, not to worry...
400
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,040
I'll probably just head into the
city centre... wander about a bit.
401
00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:36,099
I'm sure I'll bump into them
in one of the bars, clubs, pubs.
402
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:37,520
See you, Nev.
403
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,660
Wonder which city it is?
404
00:21:41,710 --> 00:21:46,260
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