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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:01,729
You won't beat our prices.
2
00:00:01,730 --> 00:00:02,690
Just stop that now.
3
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:05,290
If you can get it cheaper,
I'll come round and cook it myself.
4
00:00:05,370 --> 00:00:06,330
Red 'ot deals.
5
00:00:06,410 --> 00:00:08,690
We've got offers on everything from
booze to biscuits.
6
00:00:08,770 --> 00:00:09,810
Loads of two-for-ones.
7
00:00:09,890 --> 00:00:12,010
Service with a smile.
8
00:00:12,090 --> 00:00:14,330
We have fresh produce.
Delivered daily.
9
00:00:14,410 --> 00:00:16,050
Don't forget the Valco tick.
That way.
10
00:00:16,130 --> 00:00:17,250
Am I getting paid for this?
11
00:00:17,330 --> 00:00:19,970
Valco... I wasn't ready.
When are you ready?
12
00:00:20,050 --> 00:00:21,730
Valco serves you right!
13
00:00:21,810 --> 00:00:23,930
Valco, serves you right!
14
00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:29,730
Oh! Oh.
15
00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:32,890
Yes!
16
00:00:35,810 --> 00:00:37,250
Is that you Leighton?
Yes.
17
00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:38,690
Well come in then!
18
00:00:40,130 --> 00:00:42,210
Now I know it's not normal policy,
but I, er,
19
00:00:42,290 --> 00:00:45,130
I need you to help me
out with some admin. Me?
20
00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:48,050
Oh, it's just a bit of
photocopying and envelope stuffing.
21
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:51,010
It's basic stuff.
And you want me to do it?
22
00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:53,050
Wow!
23
00:00:53,130 --> 00:00:56,690
I've actually dreamed of
this! And it's just like the dream.
24
00:00:56,770 --> 00:00:58,810
Actually, no,
it's a little bit warmer.
25
00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:03,250
Yeah, well, we're transferring
the er, the Valco ketchup
26
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:06,610
packaging from a glass bottle to
a polythy... a pluth...
27
00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:08,210
A plastic one.
28
00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:09,410
And I need you to er,
29
00:01:09,490 --> 00:01:12,530
get a memo out to all the stores
re the change.
30
00:01:12,610 --> 00:01:15,530
It would be an actual honour.
Great stuff.
31
00:01:15,610 --> 00:01:16,890
Gavin, don't worry.
32
00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:18,370
I'm on it like Sonic..
33
00:01:18,450 --> 00:01:20,090
He's a really fast hedgehog.
34
00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:32,930
Right, now the hat. Do I have to?
35
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,930
Well, it's either the hat or
the hair net,
36
00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:36,890
and the hair net is
totally whack, mate.
37
00:01:36,970 --> 00:01:38,170
Whack?
38
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:40,490
It's a thing, innit? You know.
39
00:01:40,570 --> 00:01:41,530
It's whack?
40
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:48,090
Once more. Fillet, ribeye, rump,
brisket, mince.
41
00:01:48,170 --> 00:01:51,170
What's the point? I'm only on
holiday cover, AND I'm a vegetarian.
42
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,610
Oh come on!
43
00:01:53,690 --> 00:01:55,410
Come here.
44
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,770
What do you think they are, eh?
45
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,530
Molars. Yeah, from the Latin 'mola',
meaning Millstone.
46
00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:00,970
For grinding meat, mate.
47
00:02:03,730 --> 00:02:05,450
So it's all very simple, really.
48
00:02:05,530 --> 00:02:09,530
You just select the, er, colour
(BEEP) and quantity (BEEP)
49
00:02:09,610 --> 00:02:11,730
and hey presto!
50
00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:14,650
Hey presto!
51
00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,850
You need to press the green
triangle.
52
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:20,210
Julie!
Gavin!
53
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:23,250
Yay! Julie's back! Double Yay!
54
00:02:23,330 --> 00:02:24,570
Ohhh!
55
00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:29,650
Oh, good to see you, Julie!
How are you?
56
00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:32,330
I'm great, Gavin. Really good.
57
00:02:32,650 --> 00:02:36,130
I'm a competent, capable woman who
believes in her abilities.
58
00:02:36,210 --> 00:02:38,370
Gosh, are you? I mean, clearly.
59
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,170
It's my new mantra.
60
00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:44,170
A little self affirmation to help me
through any... dark moments.
61
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,730
Not that there'll be any!
62
00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:49,410
- No, of course not.
- Right, look let's...
63
00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,010
Oh, hang on.
64
00:02:51,090 --> 00:02:55,170
Oh, it's Debbie Gosling in Kendal,
so it'll be a long one!
65
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:58,930
No, I've made it known,
I'm staying put here today.
66
00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:02,050
There's no need!
Get me on the floor Gavin!
67
00:03:02,130 --> 00:03:03,650
I'm here to be used by you.
68
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:08,050
Really? You sure you wouldn't
rather ease your way back in gently?
69
00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:11,170
I mean, I'm up to my top
pocket in paperwork, as you can see.
70
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:14,610
Oh no. Anyway, you've got Leighton
helping out with the admin now.
71
00:03:16,410 --> 00:03:17,850
Wow! It's really snatchy.
72
00:03:26,650 --> 00:03:28,850
Yo.
73
00:03:28,930 --> 00:03:32,290
I've been thinking. I'm happy with
you having a, you know...
74
00:03:32,370 --> 00:03:34,290
having an open relationship, so...
75
00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:38,530
Ha! Listen to yourself!
'Open relationship'?
76
00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:41,650
What d'you think this is?
Downton fuckin' Abbey?
77
00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:42,970
Jesus!
78
00:03:48,730 --> 00:03:51,450
So, just to warn you, there really is
rather a lot to do on the shop
79
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:54,010
floor, now we're a staff member down.
80
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,370
Kendal?
Yeah, Kendal. I'll have to.
81
00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:03,650
Yes, Debbie, how can I help?
82
00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:04,690
Right.
83
00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:08,570
What, she's drunk all of it?
84
00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:10,930
I didn't even know
we still stocked Taboo.
85
00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:14,130
Yeah, well, get maintenance to
remove the cubicle door.
86
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:16,970
No, I simply can't, Debbie!
87
00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:18,010
You can!
88
00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:23,650
Go!
Hold on Debbie, er, one second.
89
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,370
Are you sure?
Positive. Trust me.
90
00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:29,050
Well, obviously if there's
a problem, I'm on the blower.
91
00:04:29,130 --> 00:04:32,090
I know, and I promise I'll blow you
if anything comes up.
92
00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:34,050
I'm sorry. What?
93
00:04:34,130 --> 00:04:36,170
Blow you.
94
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:39,010
Right, okay,
well... I'll, em, I won't be long.
95
00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:45,890
Debbie, try and get her to put some
clothes on, at least the bottom half.
96
00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:47,970
Just give her your knickers,
I don't know!
97
00:04:49,090 --> 00:04:50,530
I'm a competent, capable woman,
98
00:04:50,610 --> 00:04:52,330
who believes in her abilities.
99
00:04:56,450 --> 00:04:59,290
Fifty five, fifty six,
100
00:04:59,370 --> 00:05:00,890
fifty seven pence.
101
00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,850
Have a really super day.
Thank you.
102
00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:06,130
Please say you're coming over to
tell me it's lunch.
103
00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:07,690
It's not lunch.
104
00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:09,730
Ugggh. How slow is today?
105
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,730
What are you in such a hurry
to get home for?
106
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:14,410
It's Monday night. Two for one
cocktails at Harry Bean's.
107
00:05:14,490 --> 00:05:18,010
Why? What are you doing? Watching
MasterChef in your slippers again?
108
00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:19,330
Oh, don't you start.
109
00:05:19,410 --> 00:05:21,850
Emo said he thought
I was the same age as Andy.
110
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,450
Can you believe that?
111
00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:25,930
Nyeh. 'Nyeh'?
What does 'Nyeh' mean?
112
00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,450
I'm only joking!
Don't tear your hair out.
113
00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:30,770
You need all you've got left.
Piss off!
114
00:05:30,850 --> 00:05:32,570
I thought I was losing my hair once.
115
00:05:32,650 --> 00:05:34,690
It's a funny story actually.
116
00:05:34,770 --> 00:05:38,650
I kept finding hairs on my pillow,
I was mortified.
117
00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:41,690
Turns out, it was actually
Mike's hair.
118
00:05:41,770 --> 00:05:43,530
Quite the relief I can tell you.
I bet.
119
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,810
'You can take my wife, but at least
I've still got my hair'.
120
00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:52,770
So, you gonna join us tonight?
121
00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:54,690
What me, out with the kids?
122
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:56,850
Ah, maybe. I'll make sure you get
home by eleven.
123
00:05:56,930 --> 00:05:58,970
Make it ten thirty,
and you got a deal.
124
00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:01,130
Best get back.
125
00:06:03,370 --> 00:06:06,370
Oh, excuse me, young lady, can you
tell me where the sausage rolls are?
126
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:09,530
Ooh, err...
Oh, aisle fourteen, I think, love.
127
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,610
I'd go and have a look
and see if I were you.
128
00:06:11,690 --> 00:06:13,890
And if they're not there,
then that means I'm wrong
129
00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:16,570
and they'll probably be
somewhere else.
130
00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:19,290
OK?
Oh, thank you for shopping at Valco!
131
00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:22,370
It's me! Margaret!
132
00:06:25,330 --> 00:06:27,650
I'm a competent, capable woman
133
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:29,450
who believes in her abilities.
134
00:06:29,530 --> 00:06:32,530
Oh Colin? You alright?
135
00:06:32,610 --> 00:06:35,330
Oh hello Julie, heard you was back.
136
00:06:35,410 --> 00:06:38,410
You were off for ages weren't you?
What was it?
137
00:06:38,490 --> 00:06:39,810
Um, er, exhaustion.
138
00:06:39,890 --> 00:06:42,410
Exhaus... seriously?
139
00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:44,970
What, and they still paid you for
that?
140
00:06:45,050 --> 00:06:48,090
Nice one. Respect for that mate.
Oh thanks... mate.
141
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:49,970
So, what were the symptoms?
142
00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:52,450
Did you feel,
really shit and a bit sad?
143
00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:54,930
Well, er, sometimes.
144
00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:57,050
Hmm, yeah you see,
cos I've got that.
145
00:06:57,130 --> 00:06:59,410
No, I have.
And I'm not saying you gave it me.
146
00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:01,690
But... I've definitely got
the feeling shit bit.
147
00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:04,370
And I feel a bit sad.
I am sorry to hear that, Colin.
148
00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:06,330
What brought it on, do you know?
149
00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:09,730
Well, I'd rather not talk about it
at the minute to be honest. Of course.
150
00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:12,450
Just some total slag went
and shat on my heart!!
151
00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:16,050
Yes... yes, that's awful!
152
00:07:16,130 --> 00:07:19,570
So, who do I speak to about getting
put on the sick?
153
00:07:19,650 --> 00:07:22,890
Well, maybe you just need a change
of scenery. Mmm, definitely.
154
00:07:22,970 --> 00:07:27,330
What would you think about a little
time on self-service?
155
00:07:27,410 --> 00:07:30,450
All I've had is self service lately,
and that's half the problem.
156
00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:33,730
And I just don't seem to have the
imagination anymore. It's like, uh, uh...
157
00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:36,970
Well, this'll do you the world
of good. You follow me now.
158
00:07:37,050 --> 00:07:38,010
I'll follow you.
159
00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:45,890
Hello, Leighton speaking.
160
00:07:51,090 --> 00:07:52,570
Tell China the deal's off.
161
00:07:55,090 --> 00:07:59,010
Hi, Leighton here. We need lots more
crisps, all the flavours, fast.
162
00:07:59,090 --> 00:08:00,770
Hello? Gavin?
163
00:08:00,850 --> 00:08:02,050
Is that you, Gavin?
164
00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:06,570
Right,
just put one on my shoulder, yeah.
165
00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:08,730
Is it hygienic? Just do it, will
yer!
166
00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:12,250
Right, go on.
167
00:08:13,810 --> 00:08:16,370
Oooh, oh, yeah.
That's a...
168
00:08:16,450 --> 00:08:17,930
It's a...
169
00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:20,410
Lincolnshire.
I was just about to say that!
170
00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:22,130
Yeah, course you were.
171
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:25,890
Oh bloody hell, first day of your
holidays and you're in already.
172
00:08:25,970 --> 00:08:28,170
Just passing.
What the exact place we work?
173
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:29,730
Come to check up on us haven't you?
174
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,010
Not a bit of it,
but if anyone snaffles one of them
175
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,610
mini scotch eggs, I'll know about
it.
176
00:08:33,690 --> 00:08:36,010
Well, no need to worry about him,
he's a vegetarian.
177
00:08:36,090 --> 00:08:38,050
A vegetarian? On the meat counter?
178
00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:40,250
Hey, you know why they're called
molars, don't you?
179
00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:44,570
Comes from the Latin 'moolaarus'.
Meaning to grind. Meat.
180
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,410
Yeah I know, that's what he said.
181
00:08:46,490 --> 00:08:49,250
Did he? Aah, it's like looking
in a mirror sometimes.
182
00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:53,370
Yeah, a big bendy circus one.
You keep telling yourself that son,
183
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,730
but the Butcher's physique comes
to us all in the end.
184
00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:58,890
Ah, see you now. Bye!
185
00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:00,690
Hello, ladies!
186
00:09:00,770 --> 00:09:05,010
I just thought I'd pop over
and let you both know that ta-dah!
187
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:06,850
I'm back.
188
00:09:06,930 --> 00:09:08,090
Hey Julie.
189
00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:11,610
Aaaah, it is good to see you, love.
Yeah, are you feeling better?
190
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:14,290
Oh much, thank you.
Back where I belong.
191
00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:16,970
All that daytime telly driving
you mental was it?
192
00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:18,530
Ow!! What?
193
00:09:18,610 --> 00:09:20,610
Well, anyway, call me if you need
me.
194
00:09:23,810 --> 00:09:28,410
What? I didn't mean mental
I just meant... you know, mental.
195
00:09:28,490 --> 00:09:29,690
You and your gob.
196
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,050
Oh don't. I feel awful.
197
00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:32,810
You're right though, she's mental.
198
00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:35,570
Oh Julie! They've thrown
you in at the deep end, eh?
199
00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:38,730
First day back
and you're a man down. Sorry?
200
00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:40,090
Me. I'm on holiday.
201
00:09:40,170 --> 00:09:42,690
Oh. And you've come in?
Gosh, you're dedicated.
202
00:09:42,770 --> 00:09:44,530
Well, there's new
kid on the counter, see.
203
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:47,250
You've got to ease them in gently.
Like a fairground goldfish.
204
00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:49,490
Keep them in the bag for a
while before letting them
205
00:09:49,570 --> 00:09:51,050
loose in the tank, or they'll die.
206
00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:53,530
Oh, actually, Andy, I'm glad
I've seen you.
207
00:09:54,930 --> 00:09:58,970
I just wanted to ask -
the day of my erm... moment.
208
00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:01,930
Did everybody see?
209
00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:05,890
Nooo, no. Not at all, no. Just me,
Margaret and Kieran.
210
00:10:05,970 --> 00:10:07,610
And then Ian, Linda and Sue...
211
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:10,850
and I think Lisa.
212
00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:13,970
And Gavin? Yeah, of course. Well that
was unavoidable.
213
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:16,250
I mean, you were
on the trolley first, y'know,
214
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:19,650
and so we had to wheel you to
the back, till Gavin came.
215
00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:21,810
We carried you out
the store as quickly as we could.
216
00:10:21,890 --> 00:10:26,210
But getting you into Gavin's car was
quite a performance, I can tell you.
217
00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:29,050
Good job you had your big pants on.
218
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:31,010
Julie? You alright, love?
219
00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:34,330
Yes. Yes, I'm fine.
220
00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:36,730
Good, for a moment there
I thought somebody had let you
221
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,450
out of your bag too early! Ha ha!
222
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,581
Unexpected item in
bagging area.
223
00:10:49,661 --> 00:10:51,341
Unexpected item in bagging area.
224
00:10:51,421 --> 00:10:53,861
Excuse me. Can you help, please?
225
00:10:53,941 --> 00:10:55,781
Unexpected item in bagging area.
226
00:10:56,941 --> 00:11:00,301
Yeah, these things are shit.
Just take it. Are you sure?
227
00:11:00,381 --> 00:11:02,581
Well, you've already bagged it now,
I'd do it.
228
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:03,941
Oh, sorry about this.
229
00:11:04,021 --> 00:11:06,541
If you could just take it to
till four, please.
230
00:11:09,221 --> 00:11:11,821
Colin, what's going on?
Why didn't you call for help?
231
00:11:11,901 --> 00:11:14,421
All of this is a cry for help,
Julie.
232
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:16,096
My head's a mess.
233
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,336
I can't think straight, especially
when I'm around her.
234
00:11:20,656 --> 00:11:22,336
It's Lisa?
Yeah.
235
00:11:24,896 --> 00:11:26,096
Maybe I should go home.
236
00:11:26,176 --> 00:11:28,296
Oh, no. I won't let you sink.
237
00:11:28,376 --> 00:11:30,536
Come on, let's just get you moved
somewhere else.
238
00:11:38,466 --> 00:11:40,426
What? You just can't keep away, can
you?
239
00:11:40,506 --> 00:11:43,786
Hey, where else are you going to get
moussaka of this quality for ?1.80?
240
00:11:43,866 --> 00:11:44,946
Oh yeah, you're right.
241
00:11:45,026 --> 00:11:47,466
Sod the week away in Cyprus, I'm
staying in the canteen.
242
00:11:47,546 --> 00:11:50,546
Eh, you haven't left that lad
alone on the meat counter, have you?
243
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,746
Course not. I'm not stupid.
244
00:11:52,826 --> 00:11:55,466
He's on his lunch as well.
245
00:11:55,546 --> 00:11:56,906
Alright?
246
00:11:56,986 --> 00:11:58,226
What, you mean it's...
247
00:11:59,546 --> 00:12:02,066
Yeah, that's right Andy.
It's unmanned.
248
00:12:06,186 --> 00:12:07,626
But it's a Shepherd's pie.
249
00:12:07,706 --> 00:12:09,426
So it should have some
actual lamb in it.
250
00:12:09,506 --> 00:12:10,746
Maybe you ate it too quickly.
251
00:12:10,826 --> 00:12:12,986
I didn't even finish it.
It was too horrible.
252
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,106
Well, maybe you didn't get to
the meaty bit then.
253
00:12:15,186 --> 00:12:16,946
Do you want to take it back
and try again?
254
00:12:18,306 --> 00:12:21,066
I'll just take the refund thanks.
Suit yourself.
255
00:12:26,506 --> 00:12:30,346
Can you tell Gavin I've put my rota
request on there? Yeah.
256
00:12:30,426 --> 00:12:33,386
What you doing? Helping Gavin with
some paperwork. Mmmm!
257
00:12:33,466 --> 00:12:35,746
I'm his right-hand man for the day,
which is nice
258
00:12:35,826 --> 00:12:38,266
because I'm usually left handed.
259
00:12:38,346 --> 00:12:40,466
Oh, no Leighton! What?
260
00:12:40,546 --> 00:12:44,546
What have you done? Look, you've
copied them all upside down.
261
00:12:44,626 --> 00:12:47,626
Look!
Oh no! No, no, no!
262
00:12:48,786 --> 00:12:51,146
Gavin'll go mental
when he sees that.
263
00:12:51,226 --> 00:12:54,226
I'd better see what 'sorry you're
leaving' cards we've got in stock.
264
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:56,226
See ya.
265
00:12:56,306 --> 00:12:59,066
Ha ha ha!
266
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,426
Sorry about that.
267
00:13:00,506 --> 00:13:03,066
Stop apologising. I don't mind that
I bought you lunch.
268
00:13:03,146 --> 00:13:05,666
It's weird cos I know there's
definitely money in my account. Sorry.
269
00:13:05,746 --> 00:13:08,426
STOP apologising! Sorry, sorry!
270
00:13:08,506 --> 00:13:11,146
Alright mate? You two planning this
big night on the town, then?
271
00:13:11,226 --> 00:13:12,306
Big night?
272
00:13:13,386 --> 00:13:15,986
I just meant,
what are you doing tonight?
273
00:13:16,066 --> 00:13:18,586
Aah, not much. Just a quiet night in
probably.
274
00:13:19,746 --> 00:13:20,826
Whatever you fancy.
275
00:13:20,906 --> 00:13:22,586
Well, I don't really know yet so...
276
00:13:22,666 --> 00:13:26,826
Cool beans.
Well, I'll leave you to it then. Oh.
277
00:13:28,226 --> 00:13:29,426
See you. Bye.
278
00:13:31,306 --> 00:13:32,786
Sorry, did I just put my foot in it?
279
00:13:32,866 --> 00:13:34,666
No, no it's fine.
280
00:13:34,746 --> 00:13:38,546
How wrong would it be to end
a relationship by text?
281
00:13:38,626 --> 00:13:40,026
Er, not cool beans?
282
00:13:40,106 --> 00:13:42,666
Aaagggh. Don't! It's driving me
mental.
283
00:13:43,746 --> 00:13:44,866
Maybe I'll call him.
284
00:13:44,946 --> 00:13:46,386
Or email him.
285
00:13:46,466 --> 00:13:48,906
Yeah, well at least no one can
accuse you of being a chicken,
286
00:13:48,986 --> 00:13:52,026
can they?
287
00:13:52,106 --> 00:13:55,666
Oh shut up! Watch it! Pick that up.
288
00:13:55,746 --> 00:13:58,066
You know what, the more that
I think about it, the more
289
00:13:58,146 --> 00:14:00,786
I reckon there's no way
a Shepherd would eat lamb.
290
00:14:00,866 --> 00:14:02,546
No way. He's with 'em all day.
291
00:14:02,626 --> 00:14:04,386
It'd be like me eating you.
292
00:14:04,466 --> 00:14:06,986
That sounded wrong!
293
00:14:07,066 --> 00:14:08,866
Oh God, yeah! It does!
294
00:14:08,946 --> 00:14:10,466
You big lezzer!
295
00:14:15,106 --> 00:14:18,706
Right. So, Colin. We've said no to
stacking, no to self service.
296
00:14:19,786 --> 00:14:21,466
How about the loading bay?
297
00:14:21,546 --> 00:14:23,866
I mean surely there can't
remind you of Lisa?
298
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,666
There more than anywhere!
Why?
299
00:14:26,786 --> 00:14:29,866
We did it on the cages,
we did it behind the wheelie bins,
300
00:14:29,946 --> 00:14:32,546
we did it in the wheelie bins.
And as for that fork lift truck,
301
00:14:32,626 --> 00:14:35,306
to be honest I'm surprised
it still works.
302
00:14:35,386 --> 00:14:37,306
Julie, Julie!
I really need to talk to you.
303
00:14:37,386 --> 00:14:39,186
Hold on a minute, Leighton.
304
00:14:39,266 --> 00:14:40,346
So, Colin.
305
00:14:40,426 --> 00:14:44,026
Are you telling me,
that you've had sexual relations
306
00:14:44,106 --> 00:14:48,186
on site, with a fellow member
of staff, on several occasions?
307
00:14:48,266 --> 00:14:49,666
Yeah, loads of occasions.
308
00:14:49,746 --> 00:14:51,906
Excuse me Julie,
can I have a word please?
309
00:14:51,986 --> 00:14:53,666
Oh Andy, don't you have a
home to go to?
310
00:14:53,746 --> 00:14:55,266
This is an emergency, Julie!
311
00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:57,386
There is no one on the meat counter!
No one.
312
00:14:57,466 --> 00:15:00,466
And how is that an emergency?
Er, people might want meat.
313
00:15:00,546 --> 00:15:03,186
Thank you for your information.
I'll deal with it shortly.
314
00:15:03,266 --> 00:15:05,346
How, Julie? I said I'll
deal with it!
315
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:08,786
Are you alright? You're not having
another one of your er... No, I am NOT!
316
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,586
This is a staff
announcement. Could Julie Cook please
317
00:15:11,666 --> 00:15:13,586
come to customer services." Oh bloody
hell!
318
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:14,826
Julie?
319
00:15:14,906 --> 00:15:17,306
I'm fine! I'm totally
fine.
320
00:15:17,386 --> 00:15:18,346
Get out of the way!
321
00:15:26,346 --> 00:15:29,186
I'm a competent, capable woman who
believes in her abilities.
322
00:15:29,266 --> 00:15:32,106
I'm a competent, capable woman who
believes in her abilities.
323
00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:36,866
I'm a competent, capable woman who
believes in her abilities.
324
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,546
Hello, Margaret, love.
325
00:15:41,626 --> 00:15:43,826
Oh Andy, pass me
these scissors will you?
326
00:15:43,906 --> 00:15:46,706
I've got to restock my pate cos
it's gone green again.
327
00:15:46,786 --> 00:15:49,906
I can't, I'm not er... oh, alright.
328
00:15:51,866 --> 00:15:53,106
Thanks, love.
329
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,506
Can I get six of them
Cumberland sausages, please?
330
00:15:55,586 --> 00:15:58,146
Yes, certainly sir. You know they go
beautifully with... oh.
331
00:15:58,226 --> 00:16:00,426
I knew it,
you just couldn't resist could you?
332
00:16:00,506 --> 00:16:03,106
It's more than a butcher can take to
seeing an empty stand.
333
00:16:03,186 --> 00:16:04,866
Go on, get off
and stop checking on us.
334
00:16:04,946 --> 00:16:07,226
We're fine, you're supposed to
be on your holidays.
335
00:16:07,306 --> 00:16:09,666
Alright. I'm gone. I'm gone.
What a loser.
336
00:16:09,746 --> 00:16:11,186
Hey. Less of that.
337
00:16:11,266 --> 00:16:13,546
You've got to earn the right to
call that man a loser.
338
00:16:13,626 --> 00:16:16,226
Get back to work.
339
00:16:16,306 --> 00:16:19,746
I'm a competent, capable woman who
believes in her abilities.
340
00:16:19,826 --> 00:16:21,346
Ohh!
341
00:16:23,466 --> 00:16:24,706
Oh!
342
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:32,186
Yes!
343
00:16:32,266 --> 00:16:33,786
Come in, Leighton.
344
00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:39,066
Mum said I should just come
straight out and tell you,
345
00:16:39,146 --> 00:16:41,186
because at least
I would be being honest
346
00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:44,306
and you couldn't be cross with me
for two things. The thing that I did
347
00:16:44,386 --> 00:16:46,586
and the fact I didn't tell
you about the thing I did.
348
00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:48,666
What have you done?
Gavin's memos.
349
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:52,106
I've accidentally
copied them upside down. Look...
350
00:16:52,186 --> 00:16:54,986
Well, just turn them
the other way. Right?
351
00:16:55,066 --> 00:16:56,586
Oh yeah!
352
00:16:57,666 --> 00:17:00,066
Yeah, you could do that!
That's brilliant!
353
00:17:00,146 --> 00:17:04,026
I guess you could just turn
the photocopier round as well. No!
354
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,866
Look, you've got fifteen minutes,
so get this lot out of the bin
355
00:17:06,946 --> 00:17:08,226
and start stuffing.
356
00:17:08,306 --> 00:17:10,986
Yes. I can do this. You can. You
can, Leighton.
357
00:17:14,106 --> 00:17:15,706
I can do this, I can do this...
358
00:17:21,586 --> 00:17:24,346
Right. Colin I think you...
...should go home?
359
00:17:24,426 --> 00:17:27,386
Are a work shy,
bone idle, piss taker.
360
00:17:27,466 --> 00:17:29,546
Now, get on with your work
and stop your moaning.
361
00:17:29,626 --> 00:17:31,066
But I've got a broken heart!
362
00:17:31,146 --> 00:17:32,786
Oh, get over it!
363
00:17:32,866 --> 00:17:35,506
No-one wants to
climb on a wet blanket!
364
00:17:35,586 --> 00:17:37,546
Grow a pair
and she might be interested.
365
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,666
What appears to be the problem here?
366
00:17:44,746 --> 00:17:46,386
They're unhappy
with their purchases.
367
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,266
I said I wanted to speak to
someone senior.
368
00:17:48,346 --> 00:17:49,866
Well you are. So, how can I help
you?
369
00:17:49,946 --> 00:17:51,586
These No Nonsense dinners are shit.
370
00:17:51,666 --> 00:17:54,106
Oh, really? Is it the fact that it
was 40p, or the fact that it
371
00:17:54,186 --> 00:17:56,906
looks like dog food
and smells worse?
372
00:17:56,986 --> 00:17:58,986
Are you taking the piss?
No, I'm not.
373
00:17:59,066 --> 00:18:02,226
Now if you're unhappy with
the product, then we'll give you your money back.
374
00:18:02,306 --> 00:18:05,066
In fact, I will give you the money,
all of you.
375
00:18:05,146 --> 00:18:06,826
Here. Have it.
376
00:18:06,906 --> 00:18:09,466
Because you get what you pay for,
and there's a lot to be
377
00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:10,986
said for nonsense!
378
00:18:11,066 --> 00:18:14,146
It's nonsense that sets us
apart from the animals, eh, Sue?
379
00:18:14,226 --> 00:18:17,626
I love nonsense! There, I've said
it.
380
00:18:17,706 --> 00:18:20,226
And if you don't like it,
don't buy it. End of.
381
00:18:20,306 --> 00:18:21,346
Bin please, Linda.
382
00:18:25,866 --> 00:18:27,746
Julie!
383
00:18:27,826 --> 00:18:29,066
Oh Gavin!
384
00:18:29,146 --> 00:18:31,946
I'm so sorry.
I've let you down, haven't I?
385
00:18:32,026 --> 00:18:35,626
I know what you're thinking, you're
thinking I'm not ready aren't you?
386
00:18:35,706 --> 00:18:37,026
I wasn't thinking that at all.
387
00:18:37,106 --> 00:18:40,626
I was actually thinking, it's really
good to have you back, Julie.
388
00:18:41,906 --> 00:18:43,826
Oh, Gavin. Ohh!
389
00:18:43,906 --> 00:18:46,026
Come on. Let me
tell you what's happening at Kendal.
390
00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:48,226
Hiya babe, it's me.
391
00:18:48,306 --> 00:18:52,066
Er, listen, a few of us are going
for a drink after work tonight so...
392
00:18:53,346 --> 00:18:56,266
No, no, no you're invited that's
what I'm saying...
393
00:18:58,986 --> 00:19:01,466
Alright, fine.
Suit yourself.
394
00:19:01,546 --> 00:19:03,786
But can I go or not?
395
00:19:03,866 --> 00:19:04,826
Not. Right.
396
00:19:06,306 --> 00:19:08,986
Actually you know what,
I am going because...
397
00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:11,866
well, because I want to.
So just deal with it, yeah?
398
00:19:12,906 --> 00:19:16,106
Oh, oh, oh, can you record
Master Chef for me? Emma? Emma?
399
00:19:23,106 --> 00:19:25,386
I'll be ready in 5.
Are you actually coming?
400
00:19:25,466 --> 00:19:28,346
Oh yeah. I saw the future today,
and it was not pretty.
401
00:19:28,426 --> 00:19:30,946
Night on the town is it? Great fun.
402
00:19:31,026 --> 00:19:32,586
Do give my best to Stu for me.
403
00:19:32,666 --> 00:19:35,226
You've hooked yourself
a cracker there, Katie.
404
00:19:35,306 --> 00:19:37,146
Yeah, he is a good lad.
405
00:19:37,226 --> 00:19:39,946
I have to say, Stu reminds me
a lot of myself in my younger days.
406
00:19:40,026 --> 00:19:42,266
Does he?
Absolutely.
407
00:19:42,346 --> 00:19:44,066
Oh, to be young
and in love again.
408
00:19:44,146 --> 00:19:46,226
The wind in your hair.
409
00:19:46,306 --> 00:19:48,786
Adequate erectile function.
410
00:19:48,866 --> 00:19:50,146
What a lucky guy he is.
411
00:19:54,066 --> 00:19:56,026
I'll meet you outside?
412
00:19:56,106 --> 00:19:58,146
Oh, is it alright
if I meet you lot there?
413
00:19:58,226 --> 00:20:02,666
It's just... there's something
I need to do first. Face to face.
414
00:20:02,746 --> 00:20:04,906
Oh, yeah, yeah, course.
415
00:20:04,986 --> 00:20:06,386
I'll see you later.
416
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,106
Yeah, see you later.
417
00:20:08,186 --> 00:20:10,546
Good luck.
Thanks.
418
00:20:14,626 --> 00:20:16,026
You in tomorrow?
419
00:20:16,106 --> 00:20:18,066
Of course I'm in tomorrow.
I'm always in.
420
00:20:18,146 --> 00:20:21,266
All right! Just making conversation.
Why? Are you not in tomorrow,
421
00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:22,786
or summat? No, I'm in tomorrow.
422
00:20:22,866 --> 00:20:24,706
Right.
Glad we cleared that one up then.
423
00:20:24,786 --> 00:20:27,666
Yeah, see you tomorrow. Hey Linda,
you've forgotten summat!
424
00:20:27,746 --> 00:20:29,306
What? Your dinner!
425
00:20:29,386 --> 00:20:30,626
Bleurgh, don't!
426
00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:32,946
It's rank!
427
00:20:35,306 --> 00:20:37,666
Bloody Hell! How are you still here?
428
00:20:37,746 --> 00:20:41,426
I'm a very thorough shopper, Kieran.
It's my hunter gatherer instincts.
429
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:43,826
I like to stalk my prey
before I pounce.
430
00:20:43,906 --> 00:20:46,106
On your Wagon Wheels
and Nivea cooling balm?
431
00:20:46,186 --> 00:20:48,066
Don't suppose you fancy a pint?
432
00:20:48,146 --> 00:20:50,906
Oh, go on then. Anything to get you
out of this place.
433
00:20:50,986 --> 00:20:53,706
They couldn't take the door off,
so they had to go in over the top.
434
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,026
Oh, sorry!
435
00:20:55,106 --> 00:20:58,346
And how much Taboo had she had?
A whole crate!
436
00:20:58,426 --> 00:20:59,386
No!
437
00:21:02,706 --> 00:21:05,546
Go on, admit it.
Admit what? You've missed me.
438
00:21:05,626 --> 00:21:08,906
Missed you! I've seen you more today
than when you're actually working.
439
00:21:08,986 --> 00:21:11,066
Say no more. Understood.
Understood what?
440
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,146
I caught you playing my sausage
game earlier.
441
00:21:13,226 --> 00:21:14,826
Tells me all I need to know.
442
00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:17,866
Keep your voice down! That sounds
really weird out of context.
443
00:21:17,946 --> 00:21:20,386
You were though, weren't you?
It doesn't mean I missed you.
444
00:21:20,466 --> 00:21:23,546
Those actions spoke a thousand
words. I know what you were saying. What?
445
00:21:23,626 --> 00:21:25,946
No, let's not spoil the moment!
What???
446
00:21:26,026 --> 00:21:27,626
You love me.
Shut up.
447
00:21:27,706 --> 00:21:29,146
No, I know. I've always known.
448
00:21:29,226 --> 00:21:31,066
How is it possible that
you can be more
449
00:21:31,146 --> 00:21:33,186
annoying on your day off than
when you're in work?
450
00:21:33,266 --> 00:21:34,626
Go on, give us a cuddle. Get off!
451
00:21:34,706 --> 00:21:36,906
Come back! Come here.
Give us a cuddle! Ha ha ha!
452
00:21:36,956 --> 00:21:41,506
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