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1
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,592
Hello, Naomi.
2
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,038
Count your lucky stars, babe.
3
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,874
Bud Bundy's in the house.
4
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:29,713
Bud Bundy?
5
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,148
We met at the frat party
last weekend.
6
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,755
I was the one who found
your underwear.
7
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,791
On the ceiling, right.
8
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,072
Say, listen, seems I have
a last-minute cancellation...
9
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:45,073
...in my social calendar
any night of the week...
10
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,751
...and, well, I was wondering
if you'd like--
11
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,230
You would? This Saturday night?
12
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,199
Okay, Al. I'm ready.
13
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,829
I'm gonna call you
right back with the address, okay?
14
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,799
My masseuse is just leaving.
15
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,274
Let's go, Al.
16
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:13,072
Oh, feeling any better, Bud?
17
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,155
Is that you, Ma?
18
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,557
Oh, I just feel awful
that you and Kelly got sick...
19
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,360
...and can't come with us
to my family reunion.
20
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,989
And I really hate to leave you
in this condition.
21
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:31,597
After all, I wouldn't want people
to think I'm an unfit parent.
22
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,638
Let's see this.
23
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,479
Ninety-eight point six.
24
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,199
Is that good?
25
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,148
Nope.
26
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,312
Oh, maybe I really should stay home.
27
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,596
I hate to miss out
on the festivities though.
28
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,432
This year they're gonna celebrate...
29
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,677
...the first annual
Wanker County Olympic Games.
30
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,831
Damn this fever.
31
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,830
You and Dad
have a tire-hugging good time.
32
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:06,154
Oh, we will.
Bye, Buck. Bye, house. Bye, couch.
33
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,834
Oh, boy.
34
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,790
Let's go, Al.
35
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,791
- Oh, Peg, do I have to?
- Yes.
36
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,837
As the only
non-blood relative invited...
37
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,435
...they're counting on you
to officiate the Olympics.
38
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,719
Now, let's go before we miss
the ceremonial lighting of cousin Jeb.
39
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,638
Oh, all right.
Have we got everything?
40
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,474
- The water-purification tablets?
- Check.
41
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,473
The meat-fish-grain
purification tablets?
42
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,871
- Check.
- The Wanker translation book?
43
00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,396
- You know, English to gibberish.
- Check.
44
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,438
Dad, you want me
to take the bag to the car?
45
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,636
No, she can walk.
46
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,074
Listen, if you don't
hear from me at least once a day...
47
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,154
...Aunt Skeeter probably violated parole
and baked me into one of her pies.
48
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,598
In which case, call 911...
49
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,310
...or as they say in Wanker County,
"Nine hundred and eleven."
50
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,831
Hey, Bud, guess what?
51
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,959
Damn this fever.
52
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,792
When will it end?
53
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,315
Oh, poor thing.
54
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,592
Hey, Peg, I think I'm coming down
with something.
55
00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:33,477
Yes. You're coming down with me
to Wanker County.
56
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,917
Bags, then go.
57
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,992
Come on.
58
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,672
- Well, they're gone.
- For a whole week.
59
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,239
And guess what, Kel?
60
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:53,916
Saturday night I got a shot at a babe
who hasn't used the word "no"...
61
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,709
...since the last time someone asked
her if she ever used the word "no."
62
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,395
Well, what if I said that I needed
the house next Saturday night?
63
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,835
What if you said you were on fire?
64
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,555
I mean, either way
it means nothing to me.
65
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,836
Then you'll have to tell the little
children they'll never learn to read.
66
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,436
Kel, there's nothing
you can say to me right now that--
67
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,028
Tell what little children
they'll never learn to read?
68
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:25,398
Well, you know that anti-illiteracy
campaign that I've been so active in?
69
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,357
- No.
- That's the one.
70
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:32,828
You see, Budrick...
71
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,594
...these kids look at me
as the Verminator...
72
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:40,038
...and all they see is glamour
and bright lights and deadly poison...
73
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:44,273
...but I'm more than just a sexy chick
who kills bugs. I'm a role model.
74
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,796
So I volunteered to shoot a public
service announcement in the house...
75
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,678
...to encourage them to read.
76
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,833
But, Kel, you can't read.
77
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,877
Yeah, well, you can't score,
but you still have a bed.
78
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,834
I just thought that it was time that I
gave something back to the community.
79
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,755
Well, judging by the lines
at the free clinic you already have.
80
00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,191
You know, that's the sort of crack...
81
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:24,109
...that would make the old Kelly call
you a "rubber-loving Barbie thumper."
82
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,838
But that's the old Kelly.
83
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,957
The new Kelly
is simply gonna ask you...
84
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,156
...to let me have the house
next Saturday...
85
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:36,069
...so I can show these kids the beauty
of The Little Engine That Could.
86
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,632
I loved
The Little Engine That Could.
87
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:42,958
Yeah, we all did, Bud,
but some of us have moved on.
88
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,279
"'Puff, puff, chug, chug,'
went the little blue engine."
89
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,595
"'I think I can, I think I can,
I think I can, I think I can.
90
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:54,149
I think I can."'
91
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,915
You know, this would make a great
TV movie starring Robert Urich...
92
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,833
...or that brawny Facts of Life girl.
93
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,596
Wait a second, what's that smell?
94
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:14,559
It's you.
95
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,553
Bud, you smell good. What's wrong?
96
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,759
It's my brand-new scent.
97
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,718
Guaranteed to attract the ladies.
98
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,598
Yeah? What's it called?
99
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,511
"Simply Abe."
100
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:37,030
And if that's not enough,
I got another buck taped to my thigh.
101
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,275
- Well, good luck.
- Thanks.
102
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,035
And have fun
doing your commercial.
103
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,032
Thank you.
104
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,110
- Bye.
- See you.
105
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,949
Okay. He's gone.
106
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,515
Thanks. I was getting kind of bored
out there, so I took some pictures.
107
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,398
See?
108
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,713
This one here's from the house
across the street.
109
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,678
It's nice. Thank you.
110
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,992
Where the helldoes she find these guys?
111
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,549
So you wanna fool around
on the couch?
112
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,438
Relax, Gunther, we've got hours.
113
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,108
I mean, Bud really thinks
I'm shooting a commercial.
114
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:36,118
- What a Mormon.
- I know.
115
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,150
So you wanna fool around
on the couch?
116
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,278
Gunther, you don't just come
into my house...
117
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,715
...covered with oil,
smoking a smelly cigar...
118
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,190
...and ask me to fool around
on my mother's couch.
119
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,431
I mean, that would be a sign
of low breeding.
120
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,358
Here, we'll fool around
on the floor behind the couch.
121
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,153
Gunther, what did you forget to do?
122
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:08,315
- Oh. Sorry.
- Well, take it out.
123
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,911
- Is that better?
- Yes.
124
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,436
I know this may not be
quite as comfortable...
125
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,835
...as what you're used to, my dear...
126
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,752
...but personally,
I find making love indoors restrictive.
127
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,709
So I'm glad that attendant
threw us out of his photomat.
128
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,793
You're as broke
as a two-dollar wristwatch, aren't you?
129
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,237
And hornier than a funeral
in New Orleans, baby.
130
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,268
Shall we?
131
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,192
- No.
- No?
132
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,909
Where'd you pick up
that kind of language?
133
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,952
Look, I don't know what kind of tramp
you think I am.
134
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,390
Just because a man
can build a nest like a wren...
135
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,279
...doesn't mean
I'll make out with him. Goodbye.
136
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,910
But I'm wearing "Simply Abe."
137
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,356
You know, Kelly,
I can't help but feel...
138
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:33,633
...that this is, in some small way,
my fault.
139
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,752
See you.
140
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,352
Who's gonna tell Mom
you burnt up her couch?
141
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,035
Wait, wait a second.
142
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,750
I think I can, I think I can,
I think I can.
143
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,118
I can't believe you burned down
Mom's couch.
144
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:07,797
Well, I can't believe you bought that
stupid "concern for illiteracy" crap.
145
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,395
If you had doubted me
the way you're supposed to...
146
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,756
...this never would have happened.
147
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,309
Nice try, pyro-nymph.
148
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,272
- Bud, you've got to help me.
- Oh, well, sure.
149
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,353
If you don't mind living
a life of servitude and degradation...
150
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,279
...I hear Saudi Arabia needs blonds.
151
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,830
I am not asking for me.
I'm asking for Mom.
152
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,356
I mean, this couch is her life.
She can't go on without it.
153
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:39,071
Bud, if she finds out about this
it could kill her.
154
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,872
Kelly, don't you think
you're exaggerating just a little?
155
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,559
- Hello?
- Is my couch okay?
156
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:55,035
Your couch?
Why, yes, Mom. It's fine. It's lovely.
157
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,078
- Why do you ask?
- Well, the funniest thing...
158
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:02,916
...for no reason, my rear end
suddenly got warm.
159
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,956
Mom, what could have happened
to the couch...
160
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,078
...that's worse than you and Dad
sitting on it, right?
161
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,233
Yeah. I guess I'm just being silly.
162
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:15,995
- Anyway, wanna say hi to your father?
- No.
163
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:22,952
Last contestant in the rooster toss:
Cousin Zeke.
164
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:32,268
Okay. That's 40 feet.
That's a winner.
165
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,715
Congratulations, Zeke.
166
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:40,193
We shall now have the ceremonial
running of the pigs.
167
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,999
Not at me, you hillbillies!
168
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,837
Well, you guys have fun...
169
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,230
...and don't worry
about the couch, okay?
170
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,758
- Say goodbye to Dad for me.
- Al, the kids said goodbye.
171
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,560
Peg! To Serve Man...
172
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,394
...it's a cookbook!
173
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:09,113
- Bud, we're doomed.
- "We"? Wait a second.
174
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,158
I didn't have anything to do with this.
I was out with a girl.
175
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,153
And you really think
they're gonna believe that?
176
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,356
Okay, I'll help.
177
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,192
If we're gonna get a new couch,
we need is a picture of the old one.
178
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,830
Great idea. Bud, you are a genius.
179
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,992
Alrighty. Now what?
180
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:38,396
Now we send this to Ripley's
along with your picture.
181
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,955
I meant a picture before the fire.
182
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,509
Okay, I'm gonna get
Mom's photo album.
183
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,435
There's probably more pictures of
the couch in here than there are of us.
184
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,308
I can't believe it.
185
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:01,154
Went to every store in town
and nobody had that couch.
186
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,709
Well, I say we get
the Guadalajara Yellow Pages...
187
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,911
...and start calling Goodwill.
188
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,557
Well, I will not give up.
189
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,598
The good thing is is that we still have
another week to look.
190
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,188
Hello?
191
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,109
Honey, we're coming home early.
Your father's had a little accident.
192
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,636
Accident, my ass!
They skinned me alive, Peg.
193
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,190
Well, you know, you know better than
to stand too close to cousin Blinky...
194
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,755
...when he's filleting ferret.
195
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,590
Anyway, Kelly,
we're coming home tomorrow.
196
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,671
And you know, I just can't wait to--
197
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,472
Bud, they're coming home tomorrow.
198
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:39,429
Is there any way that I can talk you
into taking full blame for this?
199
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,597
Sure. You can get me a woman
who won't say no.
200
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,716
So there's no way.
201
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,676
Hey, guys.
202
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,632
I got the scoop on your couch.
203
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,553
I got some friends
in the furniture business.
204
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,030
Well, actually they're in...
205
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:11,631
...the "making false compartments
in the furniture" business.
206
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,673
- But they gave me the lowdown.
- Oh, please, let this be easy.
207
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,911
Please, please, please.
208
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:20,232
This is not going to be easy.
209
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,278
This may come
as a surprise to you...
210
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:26,229
...but your couch
wasn't exactly a popular item.
211
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,189
How many were made?
What, a thousand? Five hundred?
212
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,556
- What?
- Two.
213
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,950
- Well, how many did they sell?
- One.
214
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,353
Great. Then all we gotta do
is find the one that they sold.
215
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,312
How hard could that be?
216
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,076
Boy, when your looks go,
you're dead.
217
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,472
You're dead.
218
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,714
Now, no one really knows
where the other couch is...
219
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,394
...but I do know who made it
and where he lives.
220
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,835
Oh, then at least let this be easy.
221
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,878
This is not going to be easy.
222
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,192
It seems the guy who built it
went insane.
223
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:07,668
How insane?
224
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:11,037
Well, he spackled in his naval.
225
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,750
He built a shrine to Larry
of the Three Stooges...
226
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,673
...and he moved
deep into the woods.
227
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,794
How deep into the woods?
228
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,150
Hi. Are you Mary?
229
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,914
My name is "Ma-ray." "Ma-ray."
230
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,358
Oh, sorry.
231
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:54,390
- How do you spell "Ma-ray?"
- M-A-R-Y.
232
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:05,834
- Well, then how do you spell Mary?
- M-A-R-Y.
233
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:14,600
So are you busy or "bus-ay"?
234
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,393
Depends.
235
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,995
Are you from the escort service
I called in '79?
236
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,479
No. I'm here to see a man
about a couch.
237
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:24,994
Well, come on in.
238
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,118
But if the escort babe shows up
you're gonna have to leave.
239
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,597
Besides, I don't know where you got
the idea that I have a couch.
240
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,198
You want a couch, you go to a mall.
241
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,351
You want a chair, you go to a mall.
242
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,319
You want to see teenage girls
ride up and down escalators...
243
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,114
...with very short skirts,
you go to a mall...
244
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:50,440
...but you wanna eat fried squirrel
off a dirt floor, you come here.
245
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,274
- Can I get you anything?
- Cappuccino?
246
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,748
- Decaf?
- Please.
247
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,718
Coming right up.
248
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,638
What kind of couch you looking for?
249
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:07,152
Well, one with sturdy legs, you know,
that you could fall asleep on.
250
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,789
That's what I ordered
from the escort service.
251
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,553
Sit down.
252
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,358
Not there.
253
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,715
Not there.
254
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,276
- Then where?
- Right here.
255
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,308
This is my bed. Sorry it's not made.
I wasn't expecting company.
256
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,078
Thank you.
257
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,592
- Now, let's talk couches.
- Oh, great.
258
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,952
Here's the one that we're looking for.
259
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,077
They say that you're the man
who made it.
260
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,997
No. Not this one. I was desperate.
261
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,312
My mother was sick.
We needed the money.
262
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,595
Who are you to judge me?
263
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,195
No, you don't understand.
We like the couch.
264
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,557
Yeah, so do I. This is from my
"furniture for white trash" line.
265
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,679
The "drunken hillbilly" collection.
My one attempt at commercialism.
266
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,150
God, I hate America.
267
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,474
Not the country. The rock group.
268
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,468
- Say, look, Mary--
- "Ma-ray!"
269
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,349
Mary, "Ma-ray," madman...
270
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:28,431
It's getting late and I'm kind of caught
short here without a silver bullet...
271
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,515
...so can you help me
replace the couch or not?
272
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:35,355
Well, I am sorry,
but I no longer build couches.
273
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,956
Now I just visualize world peace
and occasionally re-enact...
274
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,713
...The Unsinkable Molly Brown.
275
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,874
However, I am willing to part...
276
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:49,353
...with what is under this giant
spreading fungus over here.
277
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,796
It's perfect. It's perfect.
278
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,396
- Even down to the stains.
- Made them myself.
279
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,076
- How much?
- Don't insult me with money.
280
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,198
Well, how can I insult you?
281
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:14,911
With something I've been needing
and wanting for a very, very long time.
282
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:19,557
And you're just the person
who can give it to me.
283
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,998
I can't believe what you did
to get this couch.
284
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,194
Well, he really wanted it, Bud.
285
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,594
I mean, it's been years.
286
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,557
We're home.
And I missed you so much.
287
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,314
Oh, we missed you too, Mom.
288
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,833
It really is okay.
289
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:58,153
You know, this is the first time
my bottom has ever lied to me.
290
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,200
- So how were the Olympics, Dad?
- Oh, fine, fine.
291
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:13,353
You guys ever have a carrot peeler
run up and down your arms really fast?
292
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,078
Of course you have.
What the heck, who hasn't?
293
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:18,799
Well, I guess I'll go to bed.
294
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,032
I haven't had
a good night's sleep since...
295
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,077
Well, since I got married.
296
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,754
Yeah, you know, I'm really tired too.
297
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,117
Oh, come on Peg,
I already got skinned once today.
298
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,112
Oh, Al, don't flatter yourself.
299
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,749
Not everything you do turns me on.
300
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,390
Oh, baby.
The way you open your mouth.
301
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,318
No, Peg.
302
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:47,315
Kel, looks like
you're gonna get away with it.
303
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,711
Though they're gonna find out
what you did to get this couch.
304
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,278
Well, God knows
I didn't wanna do it...
305
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,313
...but in today's world...
306
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,273
...you gotta give something
to get something.
24343
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