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Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org
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They're creepy and they're kooky
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Mysterious and spooky
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They're altogether ooky
5
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The Addams family
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The house is a museum
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When people come to see 'em
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They really are a scream
9
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The Addams family
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Neat.
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Sweet.
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Petite.
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So get a witch's shawl on
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A broomstick you can crawl on
15
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We're gonna pay a call on
16
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The Addams family
17
00:01:18,282 --> 00:01:19,715
Uncle Fester, what're you doing?
18
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Well, I'm waxing my head.
19
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It's all part
of the national beautification program.
20
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The national beautification program?
21
00:01:27,499 --> 00:01:29,137
Yes, it was on TV.
22
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You see, the White House
wants everybody to join
23
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in making everything in the country
more beautiful.
24
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And did you ever see
my head look more beautiful?
25
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Oh, yes, it is lovely.
26
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Yeah, it's that hard coat.
27
00:01:44,266 --> 00:01:46,655
That's very patriotic of you, Uncle Fester.
28
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I think Gomez and I should join
in the program, too.
29
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Besides, there are a lot of lovely things
I've been wanting to buy.
30
00:02:03,535 --> 00:02:06,333
- Three oranges!
- Oh, what did you get, dear?
31
00:02:07,288 --> 00:02:08,482
Three oranges!
32
00:02:10,458 --> 00:02:12,176
How's the unpacking coming?
33
00:02:14,462 --> 00:02:17,056
These shopping sprees are so exhausting.
34
00:02:17,799 --> 00:02:19,630
What's in this alligator case?
35
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An alligator.
36
00:02:23,554 --> 00:02:25,033
Nice pet for Pugsley.
37
00:02:25,473 --> 00:02:28,670
No. I'm thinking of doing
this room over, dear,
38
00:02:29,268 --> 00:02:31,384
in sort of Early Zoo.
39
00:02:31,562 --> 00:02:33,280
That sounds wonderful.
40
00:02:33,439 --> 00:02:36,795
We do have a good start,
but tampering with perfection?
41
00:02:38,652 --> 00:02:41,849
It's all part of
the national beautification program, dear.
42
00:02:42,406 --> 00:02:44,556
I think everyone should do their bit.
43
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But I would like to bring beauty
into the lives and homes of others as well.
44
00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:56,701
Who better than you, cara mia,
with your exquisite taste, to do that.
45
00:02:56,962 --> 00:02:58,190
Darling.
46
00:02:58,338 --> 00:03:03,537
But in order to inspire confidence,
I need a showplace, a model home.
47
00:03:03,844 --> 00:03:05,914
Querida, you've got one right here.
48
00:03:06,179 --> 00:03:07,897
No, darling.
49
00:03:08,056 --> 00:03:11,844
This house is a tribute
to generations of Addams taste.
50
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It took years to achieve its rare beauty.
51
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I should start from scratch.
52
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Just arrived.
53
00:03:21,778 --> 00:03:25,373
Yes, thank you, Lurch. Let's see.
Put it over there, please.
54
00:03:25,865 --> 00:03:28,857
Carefully. Carefully, don't bump it now.
55
00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:30,733
Oh, yes.
56
00:03:31,204 --> 00:03:33,274
Gently, Lurch, gently.
57
00:03:36,543 --> 00:03:38,261
Thank you. That'll be all.
58
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,091
- Darling, look.
- What is it?
59
00:03:40,713 --> 00:03:41,987
Can't you guess?
60
00:03:42,632 --> 00:03:45,351
We've never seen
a canary that size before.
61
00:03:45,718 --> 00:03:47,197
I'll give you a hint.
62
00:03:49,222 --> 00:03:52,339
Tish, that sound sets my blood afire.
63
00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:56,585
Mating cry of the Transylvanian vulture.
64
00:04:02,902 --> 00:04:06,258
It is a Transylvanian vulture.
We should get a pair.
65
00:04:08,365 --> 00:04:09,684
Oh, but I ordered two.
66
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,852
You naughty bird.
67
00:04:15,706 --> 00:04:18,459
Morticia, you have impeccable taste.
68
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:21,420
Well, of course. I married you, didn't I?
69
00:04:23,213 --> 00:04:27,126
You know, sometimes I think
it's wrong of me to keep you all to myself
70
00:04:27,384 --> 00:04:29,261
in a world starved for beauty.
71
00:04:30,012 --> 00:04:31,240
I know what you mean.
72
00:04:31,388 --> 00:04:35,222
For instance, our next-door neighbor,
Mrs. Digby?
73
00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:39,366
Every time she passes this house,
she stares at it
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00:04:39,604 --> 00:04:42,801
with that expression on her face
that I've come to know so well.
75
00:04:43,024 --> 00:04:44,059
Raw envy.
76
00:04:45,735 --> 00:04:48,124
We certainly are surrounded
by great beauty.
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00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,918
We should insure it.
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00:04:51,408 --> 00:04:54,241
That reminds me, isn't what's-his-name,
Digby, our next door neighbor,
79
00:04:54,452 --> 00:04:56,329
isn't he an insurance man?
80
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,168
Let's give him the business.
81
00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:00,925
- You mean, our good neighbor policy?
- Exactly.
82
00:05:01,459 --> 00:05:06,214
But first, let me hear
that wild music of the vulture's cry.
83
00:05:06,714 --> 00:05:09,467
Darling, you promise
you'll try to control yourself?
84
00:05:10,259 --> 00:05:11,248
I'll try.
85
00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:17,990
- They're at it again.
- Take it easy, honey.
86
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:19,378
After all, we never see them.
87
00:05:19,518 --> 00:05:21,634
Well, it's almost worse this way,
just hearing them.
88
00:05:21,812 --> 00:05:23,962
We won't live next door to them forever.
89
00:05:24,148 --> 00:05:26,343
Joe, we've been living next door to them
for three weeks now
90
00:05:26,525 --> 00:05:28,641
and it seems like forever already.
91
00:05:29,069 --> 00:05:31,219
We have got to get away. Now!
92
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:33,183
Joe, please.
93
00:05:33,324 --> 00:05:34,757
- Look, honey.
- Please.
94
00:05:35,826 --> 00:05:36,895
Well, okay.
95
00:05:37,619 --> 00:05:40,850
But if I don't get some business soon,
we'll have to move again.
96
00:05:41,582 --> 00:05:42,571
Into the street.
97
00:05:42,708 --> 00:05:44,778
Well, even that would be
an improvement.
98
00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:48,305
- I think I'm gonna go lie down. I just...
- Yeah.
99
00:06:04,396 --> 00:06:06,068
Come in, the door is open.
100
00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:08,578
Aha there, Digby!
101
00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:11,645
Gomez Addams here.
My wife, Morticia, there.
102
00:06:11,861 --> 00:06:13,977
How do you do, Mr. Digby?
103
00:06:14,823 --> 00:06:18,338
- Won't you sit down, Mrs. Addams?
- No, thank you, Mr. Digby.
104
00:06:18,576 --> 00:06:20,214
We'll come right to the point.
105
00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:23,442
We'd like for you to insure our collection
of objets d'art.
106
00:06:23,665 --> 00:06:24,893
That's French.
107
00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:28,370
Gomez, darling, please.
108
00:06:28,586 --> 00:06:30,258
Darling, please.
109
00:06:30,713 --> 00:06:33,227
Insurance now, objets later.
110
00:06:35,801 --> 00:06:37,598
You want to insure something?
111
00:06:38,346 --> 00:06:40,337
Yes, indeed. How about 1,000,000?
112
00:06:40,848 --> 00:06:41,963
1,000,000?
113
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,629
Dollars?
114
00:06:51,358 --> 00:06:53,155
That's very interesting.
115
00:06:53,319 --> 00:06:55,674
How often
do you have to water that table?
116
00:06:57,656 --> 00:06:59,328
I'll draw up the papers immediately.
117
00:06:59,491 --> 00:07:01,447
No hurry.
Just bring them by the house tomorrow.
118
00:07:01,618 --> 00:07:03,290
And bring Mrs. Digby with you.
119
00:07:05,372 --> 00:07:06,964
She's very shy.
120
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:10,905
Yes, I can tell that
by the way she rushes past our house.
121
00:07:12,337 --> 00:07:16,216
Besides, she's busy on our new home,
working with decorators, you know.
122
00:07:16,466 --> 00:07:19,856
Then you'll have to bring her.
Mrs. Addams is a superb decorator.
123
00:07:20,303 --> 00:07:22,214
I'd be delighted to help.
124
00:07:22,389 --> 00:07:23,947
- Help?
- Yes.
125
00:07:24,099 --> 00:07:28,411
I'd not only feel I was helping a neighbor,
but I'd be serving my country as well.
126
00:07:30,605 --> 00:07:32,323
Oh, yes. Sure.
127
00:07:33,066 --> 00:07:36,376
If I know my wife, you'll get much more
than you bargained for.
128
00:07:36,986 --> 00:07:38,305
Darling.
129
00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:43,299
Good day, Mr. Digby.
130
00:07:43,534 --> 00:07:45,331
Digby, until tomorrow.
131
00:07:57,506 --> 00:07:59,224
- All right now, Fester, you ready?
- Yeah.
132
00:07:59,383 --> 00:08:03,262
One, two, three, heave!
133
00:08:07,808 --> 00:08:09,446
Came out nice and clean.
134
00:08:10,227 --> 00:08:11,899
I don't understand.
135
00:08:12,062 --> 00:08:15,259
Delilah here gave the room such a lift.
136
00:08:15,482 --> 00:08:17,313
- But Morticia needs her.
- What for?
137
00:08:17,484 --> 00:08:19,520
Housewarming gift for our neighbors,
the Digbys.
138
00:08:19,695 --> 00:08:22,573
The Digbys!
Well, what about asking me first?
139
00:08:22,781 --> 00:08:25,341
After all, blood is thicker than water.
140
00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:29,163
Who said anything about giving blood?
After all, we don't know them that well.
141
00:08:29,413 --> 00:08:32,530
The Digbys,
that's all that Morticia thinks about now.
142
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,718
Well, Morticia always does give
too much of herself.
143
00:08:35,919 --> 00:08:38,592
She does? Maybe she will give blood.
144
00:08:39,548 --> 00:08:40,537
No.
145
00:08:41,508 --> 00:08:43,942
Here it is, Morticia. Isn't that beautiful?
146
00:08:44,594 --> 00:08:47,904
I'm glad you're not giving them
our live vulture, that'd be too much.
147
00:08:48,139 --> 00:08:51,211
Even parting with Delilah leaves
a hole in my life.
148
00:08:51,434 --> 00:08:53,026
You should see the wall.
149
00:08:54,437 --> 00:08:56,075
That must be the Digbys.
150
00:08:56,606 --> 00:08:58,517
I'm almost afraid
to let them see the house.
151
00:08:58,691 --> 00:08:59,680
Might discourage them.
152
00:08:59,817 --> 00:09:02,206
Darling, they're just going
to have to be realistic.
153
00:09:02,403 --> 00:09:06,874
After all, when we first moved in here,
this house was bleak and gloomy.
154
00:09:07,784 --> 00:09:10,173
Not everyone can start
with that advantage.
155
00:09:13,789 --> 00:09:15,780
The Digbys.
156
00:09:21,339 --> 00:09:23,648
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
157
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:25,699
This is Mrs. Digby.
158
00:09:25,843 --> 00:09:26,912
- How do you do.
- Mrs. Digby,
159
00:09:27,052 --> 00:09:29,088
we have a little something for you.
160
00:09:34,893 --> 00:09:36,611
Say, that call is catching.
161
00:09:37,104 --> 00:09:39,254
- Won't you sit down?
- Oh, yes.
162
00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:44,774
Poor dear is overcome by it all.
163
00:09:45,654 --> 00:09:48,930
Now, just take a nice, deep breath.
164
00:09:50,492 --> 00:09:51,971
Save a little for me.
165
00:09:53,036 --> 00:09:55,425
- Joe, let's get out of here.
- Yes, dear.
166
00:09:55,622 --> 00:09:57,340
Soon as we sign the papers.
167
00:09:57,499 --> 00:10:00,377
Digby, how can you talk business
at a time like this?
168
00:10:00,585 --> 00:10:03,497
Besides, we haven't had a chance
to get acquainted yet.
169
00:10:04,631 --> 00:10:06,428
Well, you see, I'm a little tired...
170
00:10:06,591 --> 00:10:09,628
You know, moving into a new house
and finding a decorator...
171
00:10:09,844 --> 00:10:11,562
Digby, didn't you tell her?
172
00:10:12,347 --> 00:10:15,145
- Tell me what?
- You've found your decorator.
173
00:10:15,975 --> 00:10:17,806
- I have? Who?
- Me.
174
00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:22,679
Hey, you've got a real fainter there.
Very feminine.
175
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:26,539
She's such a shy, sensitive soul.
176
00:10:26,736 --> 00:10:29,296
I know we're going to get along famously.
177
00:10:29,489 --> 00:10:32,322
No more smelling salts.
I feel better when I'm under.
178
00:10:33,409 --> 00:10:35,559
Look, there must be some mistake.
179
00:10:36,495 --> 00:10:38,565
It does seem too good to be true,
doesn't it?
180
00:10:38,748 --> 00:10:42,423
At your husband's urging,
I've decided to do your house myself.
181
00:10:42,668 --> 00:10:44,579
My husband's urging?
182
00:10:44,754 --> 00:10:45,789
Surprise!
183
00:10:46,672 --> 00:10:51,507
Well, now, if you ladies will excuse us,
Mr. Digby and I will repair to the gallery.
184
00:10:51,802 --> 00:10:53,554
I'd like to show him our new art objects.
185
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:54,710
Digby.
186
00:10:56,015 --> 00:10:57,050
Now, dear.
187
00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:01,058
I have some wonderful ideas
for your new house.
188
00:11:03,188 --> 00:11:05,099
And a most unusual color scheme.
189
00:11:05,566 --> 00:11:07,921
- Oh?
- We'll start with the carpet.
190
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,104
Black.
191
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,221
- Black?
- Pitch.
192
00:11:16,535 --> 00:11:18,093
Perhaps as a base...
193
00:11:18,787 --> 00:11:20,778
- I suppose the curtains...
- Black.
194
00:11:22,374 --> 00:11:24,410
- What about the wallpaper?
- Black.
195
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,998
And the furniture coverings? Black?
196
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:30,912
No.
197
00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:33,665
Off-black.
198
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,958
You must have some contrast, you know.
199
00:11:46,397 --> 00:11:48,865
- Well, Digby, here's our gallery.
- Gallery?
200
00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:51,648
Now, what were you saying
about insurance?
201
00:11:51,819 --> 00:11:56,370
Oh, all you have to do is sign
and I'll have the company issue a floater.
202
00:11:56,657 --> 00:11:57,726
No problem.
203
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,632
You rang?
204
00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:07,224
A pen, please, Lurch.
205
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,358
Oh, thank you.
206
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,530
That'll be all, Lurch.
207
00:12:21,682 --> 00:12:23,798
- There you are, Digby.
- Gee, thanks.
208
00:12:24,935 --> 00:12:27,733
Thanks a million. Oh, boy.
209
00:12:30,607 --> 00:12:32,199
Beautiful, beautiful.
210
00:12:32,943 --> 00:12:36,731
You know, I can hardly wait
to see that collection of artworks of yours.
211
00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:39,662
You don't have to wait.
You're surrounded by them.
212
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,953
These things? I mean, these things.
213
00:12:43,954 --> 00:12:45,228
Over here, Digby.
214
00:12:47,916 --> 00:12:49,907
- An original Rembrandt.
- Rembrandt?
215
00:12:50,961 --> 00:12:52,599
This says "Flugelsmith."
216
00:12:56,758 --> 00:13:00,228
By george, it does.
These scribbled signatures.
217
00:13:00,762 --> 00:13:02,878
Well, it's an original Flugelsmith.
218
00:13:03,139 --> 00:13:06,973
Speaking of originals,
feast your eyes on this.
219
00:13:07,685 --> 00:13:09,198
Oh, a Stradivarius?
220
00:13:09,354 --> 00:13:11,709
If it isn't, I'm out $12.50.
221
00:13:12,523 --> 00:13:16,994
And, of course, there's my head of
Tigi-Tigi, the Polynesian war chief.
222
00:13:17,653 --> 00:13:19,245
- Bronze?
- Shrunken.
223
00:13:23,826 --> 00:13:26,420
Now, as to your bedroom,
224
00:13:26,954 --> 00:13:31,550
I was thinking
we might do the walls in salmon.
225
00:13:31,834 --> 00:13:34,189
- Pink?
- No, scales.
226
00:13:34,962 --> 00:13:36,441
How's the distaff side doing?
227
00:13:36,589 --> 00:13:38,625
Oh, never mind about us. Did he sign, Joe?
228
00:13:38,799 --> 00:13:40,755
All signed, sealed and delivered.
229
00:13:40,926 --> 00:13:44,601
- Well, nice to have seen you.
- Oh, but we're not even halfway through.
230
00:13:45,097 --> 00:13:48,328
You haven't seen the lovely material
I have for your new den.
231
00:13:48,684 --> 00:13:51,517
- Hand-woven gunnysack.
- Good thinking, my dear.
232
00:13:51,728 --> 00:13:53,719
Well, Mrs. Addams, you're very kind,
233
00:13:53,897 --> 00:13:56,775
but those lovely ideas of yours
are too rich for my blood.
234
00:13:56,984 --> 00:13:57,973
Blood.
235
00:13:58,777 --> 00:14:01,530
That's exactly the color
I planned for your guestroom.
236
00:14:03,115 --> 00:14:06,551
I've decided to live with the things I have
for a few more years.
237
00:14:07,869 --> 00:14:09,621
Well, arrivederci.
238
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:15,581
Now, what was that all about?
239
00:14:15,877 --> 00:14:18,152
It's obvious, darling. Money.
240
00:14:18,338 --> 00:14:20,454
Great Caesar's ghost, you're right.
241
00:14:21,049 --> 00:14:23,927
That's why they were so overcome
when they saw our house.
242
00:14:24,135 --> 00:14:26,410
They couldn't afford it
and they were too proud to admit it.
243
00:14:26,596 --> 00:14:28,268
The poor darlings.
244
00:14:29,223 --> 00:14:31,942
They were even too proud
to accept our lovely gift.
245
00:14:32,727 --> 00:14:35,116
That must really have broken their hearts.
246
00:14:35,605 --> 00:14:38,278
Let's send it over to their home.
We'll have Lurch deliver it.
247
00:14:38,482 --> 00:14:41,076
Hey, wait a minute.
Why don't you ask me?
248
00:14:41,903 --> 00:14:44,178
Excellent idea, Fester. You deliver it.
249
00:14:44,697 --> 00:14:48,212
No, I meant, ask me
whether I happen to want it.
250
00:14:48,451 --> 00:14:50,282
Why, of course you do.
251
00:14:50,911 --> 00:14:53,869
But that's the only kind of gift
that's worth giving.
252
00:14:54,456 --> 00:14:56,651
Something that means something to you.
253
00:15:00,254 --> 00:15:03,610
I don't like giving away
precious family heirlooms.
254
00:15:06,093 --> 00:15:08,323
Lurch, get the car.
255
00:15:08,512 --> 00:15:11,026
We'll take something else
over there instead.
256
00:15:11,223 --> 00:15:13,976
Some of that junky furniture
we got up in the attic.
257
00:15:15,394 --> 00:15:18,431
Antique Sheraton sideboard
they stuck up there.
258
00:15:20,774 --> 00:15:23,971
I know it's awful, but, you know,
beggars can't be choosers.
259
00:15:24,945 --> 00:15:29,097
And the first one that blabs anything
about this to Morticia is a rotten egg.
260
00:15:30,116 --> 00:15:32,505
No, better make that a spoilsport.
261
00:15:33,495 --> 00:15:34,894
I like rotten eggs.
262
00:15:44,964 --> 00:15:46,079
- Hi.
- Wow.
263
00:15:46,799 --> 00:15:48,630
Watch it, Lurch. Narrow there.
264
00:15:49,427 --> 00:15:50,542
What's this?
265
00:15:50,678 --> 00:15:53,397
Just a little housewarming present.
266
00:15:54,307 --> 00:15:58,459
Mrs. Addams thought
you might prefer this to a stuffed vulture.
267
00:15:59,228 --> 00:16:00,786
Prefer it?
268
00:16:01,647 --> 00:16:04,559
Why, isn't that an authentic Sheraton?
269
00:16:05,651 --> 00:16:07,881
- Well...
- Why, that must be priceless!
270
00:16:08,487 --> 00:16:10,125
Well, I think it's worth something.
271
00:16:10,281 --> 00:16:13,034
I must telephone
Mrs. Addams immediately.
272
00:16:13,242 --> 00:16:14,675
No.
273
00:16:15,286 --> 00:16:17,083
He's right. I wouldn't do it.
274
00:16:17,246 --> 00:16:18,759
- Why not?
- Well...
275
00:16:18,914 --> 00:16:23,271
Morticia hates expressions of gratitude.
We'll just give her your message.
276
00:16:23,544 --> 00:16:24,533
Bye!
277
00:16:26,046 --> 00:16:28,879
Thank you. Thank you very much.
278
00:16:37,849 --> 00:16:38,838
Hello?
279
00:16:39,226 --> 00:16:43,902
Mrs. Addams,
your beautiful gift just arrived.
280
00:16:44,731 --> 00:16:47,643
I wanted to fill your home
with things of equal beauty.
281
00:16:48,902 --> 00:16:53,339
Nothing could make me happier,
but we just don't have that kind of money.
282
00:16:53,615 --> 00:16:55,924
Oh, think nothing of the expense, dear.
283
00:16:56,409 --> 00:16:58,479
I have more things than I can use.
284
00:16:59,662 --> 00:17:01,459
How can I ever thank you?
285
00:17:01,915 --> 00:17:03,951
It's I who should be thanking you
286
00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:07,595
for letting me do my part
in the national beautification program.
287
00:17:09,297 --> 00:17:10,969
Well, whatever you say.
288
00:17:11,132 --> 00:17:12,963
Joe and I are gonna be gone for a month
289
00:17:13,134 --> 00:17:16,012
and we won't be in your way,
the whole house is yours.
290
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:20,372
Oh, I know after that lovely gift
you sent over, you're gonna surprise me.
291
00:17:20,641 --> 00:17:22,950
Oh, I will. I will.
292
00:17:24,103 --> 00:17:27,015
- Have a good trip, dear.
- Thank you. Thank you.
293
00:17:32,027 --> 00:17:36,179
Darling, I have decided to let
Mrs. Addams do our new house after all.
294
00:17:40,411 --> 00:17:41,730
Who are you calling?
295
00:17:41,870 --> 00:17:45,749
Either a divorce lawyer or a psychiatrist,
whichever one can get here first.
296
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:50,167
Mrs. Addams was just having
her little joke.
297
00:17:50,379 --> 00:17:52,734
Little joke, eh? What makes you think so?
298
00:17:55,425 --> 00:17:58,542
- That's what makes me think so.
- Oh.
299
00:18:00,097 --> 00:18:03,089
- A housewarming gift from the Addams.
- Well...
300
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,413
Gomez, darling.
301
00:18:11,441 --> 00:18:14,433
I've had an inspiration
for the new Digby house.
302
00:18:15,070 --> 00:18:16,708
Those lucky devils.
303
00:18:18,073 --> 00:18:19,552
What is it this time?
304
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:23,184
I want to bring the garden
right into the living room.
305
00:18:24,787 --> 00:18:28,063
- Glass walls, eh?
- No, dirt floor.
306
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,836
There you are, Gomez.
307
00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:40,444
Darling, I've just had the most
marvelous idea about the Digby house.
308
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,109
You know,
those big bay windows in the library,
309
00:18:43,306 --> 00:18:46,025
I'm going to have them all cemented in,
walled up.
310
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:47,817
You think they'll like that?
311
00:18:47,977 --> 00:18:50,445
Mrs. Digby will. No window washing.
312
00:18:55,317 --> 00:18:59,310
Gomez, darling,
you're going to be so proud of me.
313
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:03,645
I have an idea for the Digby house
that will be my piece de r�sistance.
314
00:19:05,536 --> 00:19:06,525
French.
315
00:19:07,329 --> 00:19:10,924
Darling, please, later.
Let me tell you my idea first.
316
00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:14,203
- Let me tell you mine.
- Mine comes first.
317
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:16,687
Oh, that idea.
318
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:21,097
Now, darling, what is
the most wasted space in a house?
319
00:19:22,677 --> 00:19:25,430
- The ceiling.
- No, dear, the cellar.
320
00:19:25,889 --> 00:19:28,084
- Of course.
- I've solved it.
321
00:19:28,266 --> 00:19:30,860
I've had Lurch go over to the Digbys'
and flood it.
322
00:19:31,061 --> 00:19:32,779
- Flood it?
- An indoor swimming pool.
323
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,896
Tish, you've done it!
The model American home.
324
00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:38,177
Not yet. There's still the landscaping.
325
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,554
Yes, the landscaping.
326
00:19:39,694 --> 00:19:42,128
Darling, I want you to see this
with your own eyes.
327
00:19:44,115 --> 00:19:45,594
Would you believe it?
328
00:19:45,742 --> 00:19:51,658
That garden used to be full of roses
and geraniums and unsightly camellias,
329
00:19:51,998 --> 00:19:55,547
and, in just one week, Lurch and I did that.
330
00:20:05,928 --> 00:20:08,726
- That's a miracle.
- Thank you, darling.
331
00:20:08,931 --> 00:20:10,569
Beautiful touch, my dear.
332
00:20:11,809 --> 00:20:14,004
Well, when Mrs. Digby sees all this,
333
00:20:14,854 --> 00:20:16,810
I'll have the smelling salts ready.
334
00:20:18,899 --> 00:20:21,618
Darling, there's a car driving up.
It must be the Digbys.
335
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:29,849
Welcome home.
336
00:20:30,452 --> 00:20:32,443
Digbys! Welcome home.
337
00:20:42,089 --> 00:20:45,240
Well, what do you two think
of your little love nest now?
338
00:20:50,096 --> 00:20:51,529
What did I tell you?
339
00:20:57,312 --> 00:20:58,904
Excellent idea, my dear.
340
00:20:59,064 --> 00:21:02,693
To leave the Digbys in private
to savor the beauty of their new home.
341
00:21:03,109 --> 00:21:06,385
I do hope it didn't take
Mr. Digby too long to revive her.
342
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:08,683
He must be an old hand at it by now.
343
00:21:11,075 --> 00:21:13,145
- Are you expecting anyone, dear?
- I certainly am.
344
00:21:13,328 --> 00:21:16,240
A whole parade of people
on the Digbys' recommendation.
345
00:21:21,419 --> 00:21:23,375
The Digbys.
346
00:21:29,010 --> 00:21:31,808
- Mrs. Addams...
- Please, say no more.
347
00:21:32,013 --> 00:21:33,844
I can read your feelings on your face.
348
00:21:34,014 --> 00:21:37,484
Mrs. Addams, I can understand
some of the things you did to my house,
349
00:21:37,726 --> 00:21:38,761
but why?
350
00:21:38,894 --> 00:21:42,204
Why a wrecked car right smack
in the middle of the living room?
351
00:21:43,065 --> 00:21:44,783
I knew that would get them.
352
00:21:45,067 --> 00:21:49,777
You see, I feel that a person's home
should reflect their personality.
353
00:21:50,406 --> 00:21:51,680
A wrecked car?
354
00:21:51,824 --> 00:21:54,418
Well, that reflects
your husband's work in insurance.
355
00:21:55,661 --> 00:21:56,730
Pretty clever.
356
00:21:56,870 --> 00:21:59,384
Did you notice the crushed fenders?
357
00:22:00,165 --> 00:22:01,996
That is the original rust on them.
358
00:22:04,169 --> 00:22:06,603
- I think I'm gonna faint again.
- Could you hold it a moment, please?
359
00:22:06,797 --> 00:22:07,912
We have a small favor to ask.
360
00:22:08,048 --> 00:22:10,801
Well, I have a bigger favor.
You can take all that stuff...
361
00:22:11,009 --> 00:22:12,965
But that's just the favor
we were going to ask you.
362
00:22:13,136 --> 00:22:15,570
You can take all that... That...
363
00:22:15,764 --> 00:22:17,595
That was the favor
you were gonna ask us?
364
00:22:17,766 --> 00:22:21,042
Well, it's more in the nature
of a sacrifice for your country.
365
00:22:21,644 --> 00:22:25,319
You see,
we want to make your home a showplace.
366
00:22:25,565 --> 00:22:27,078
Open it to the public.
367
00:22:28,067 --> 00:22:30,900
It's all part
of the national beautification program.
368
00:22:31,988 --> 00:22:34,548
Of course,
we insist on your having a profit.
369
00:22:35,491 --> 00:22:38,722
Please, please, anything you say.
It's a deal.
370
00:22:40,538 --> 00:22:42,608
Real Americans, eh, darling?
371
00:22:44,250 --> 00:22:48,209
And if there's anything you'd like to keep,
why, I'm sure we can replace it.
372
00:22:48,796 --> 00:22:53,824
Oh, well, now, there was just one piece.
I don't know what happened to it.
373
00:22:54,135 --> 00:22:56,603
It was a Sheraton sideboard.
374
00:22:57,847 --> 00:22:58,836
Oh, that.
375
00:22:59,306 --> 00:23:00,944
It was obviously a mistake.
376
00:23:02,142 --> 00:23:03,370
You like that?
377
00:23:03,894 --> 00:23:06,454
I thought it was rather,
you know, amusing.
378
00:23:06,647 --> 00:23:09,719
- Say no more. We have a whole atticful.
- It's all yours.
379
00:23:10,234 --> 00:23:13,465
Now, now we can really get to work
on your new home.
380
00:23:16,657 --> 00:23:17,976
Just a minute.
381
00:23:18,116 --> 00:23:21,267
- You see, we're planning on leaving town.
- Oh, yeah.
382
00:23:21,495 --> 00:23:23,451
Well, perhaps I can be of some assistance.
383
00:23:23,622 --> 00:23:26,580
- Gomez has interests all over the world.
- He has?
384
00:23:28,043 --> 00:23:31,194
Well, there must be one place
he doesn't have any interests.
385
00:23:31,630 --> 00:23:33,621
Come to think of it there is one.
386
00:23:33,882 --> 00:23:35,110
Timbuktu.
387
00:23:37,218 --> 00:23:39,812
Funny thing
you should mention Timbuktu.
388
00:23:40,013 --> 00:23:41,810
That's just where we're going.
389
00:23:43,099 --> 00:23:44,771
Isn't that strange?
390
00:23:57,739 --> 00:23:58,967
Gomez, darling.
391
00:23:59,741 --> 00:24:03,939
Does it strike you as odd that nobody
has been inside my model home?
392
00:24:06,205 --> 00:24:08,560
They just glance in the door and walk on.
393
00:24:09,083 --> 00:24:11,802
Well, the house is obviously
too far ahead of its time.
394
00:24:13,337 --> 00:24:15,646
Frank Lloyd Wright had the same problem.
395
00:24:16,465 --> 00:24:18,979
I don't even think
the Digbys appreciated it.
396
00:24:21,929 --> 00:24:24,045
- Nice people, but a bit crude.
- Yes.
397
00:24:24,765 --> 00:24:27,757
That Sheraton sideboard
was a dead giveaway.
398
00:24:27,977 --> 00:24:31,572
At least they helped us clean
the rest of the stuff out of the attic.
399
00:24:36,276 --> 00:24:38,836
What's the matter, darling?
No more sword swallowing?
400
00:24:39,029 --> 00:24:42,783
The thought of that Digby house
in Timbuktu ruined my appetite.
401
00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:53,783
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