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They're creepy and they're kooky
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Mysterious and spooky
4
00:00:22,228 --> 00:00:24,059
They're altogether ooky
5
00:00:24,230 --> 00:00:25,868
The Addams family
6
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The house is a museum
7
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When people come to see 'em
8
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They really are a scream
9
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:33,918
The Addams family
10
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Neat.
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Sweet.
12
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Petite.
13
00:00:42,165 --> 00:00:43,962
So get a witch's shawl on
14
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A broomstick you can crawl on
15
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We're gonna pay a call on
16
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The Addams family
17
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,721
I think I've had enough moon. Thank you.
18
00:01:28,298 --> 00:01:32,086
Gomez, darling, do be careful. You know
how prone you are to moonburn.
19
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Never fear, querida.
My skin is so white it won't peel anymore.
20
00:01:38,392 --> 00:01:40,428
My head is a little tingly.
21
00:01:42,271 --> 00:01:44,102
Uncle Fester, how about you?
22
00:01:44,273 --> 00:01:46,741
Would you like another little dab
of lanolin?
23
00:01:47,068 --> 00:01:50,378
No, thanks.
I like it, but it gives me heartburn.
24
00:01:51,698 --> 00:01:53,768
Uncle Fester,
the last time we moonbathed,
25
00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:55,429
you ate the goose grease.
26
00:01:55,577 --> 00:01:56,851
This time, the lanolin.
27
00:01:57,454 --> 00:02:00,844
What did you expect me to do with it,
smear it all over my face?
28
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:06,441
Very interesting. Very interesting.
29
00:02:07,298 --> 00:02:09,528
Is Jupiter transiting Uranus, dear?
30
00:02:10,009 --> 00:02:13,558
No, our next-door neighbor
is just stepping into his shower.
31
00:02:14,931 --> 00:02:17,445
Oh, well, it is a warm night.
32
00:02:19,019 --> 00:02:22,170
- And how are you, Mama?
- Fine, fine.
33
00:02:22,981 --> 00:02:27,099
- She likes being buried.
- And playing groundhog.
34
00:02:27,695 --> 00:02:29,526
Mama, you sure you're getting enough air?
35
00:02:29,697 --> 00:02:32,211
I took a deep breath
before they buried me.
36
00:02:34,827 --> 00:02:38,502
Oh, yes. The family that plays together
stays together.
37
00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:41,739
The telephone.
38
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,520
Don't worry, my dear, I left strict orders
not to be disturbed.
39
00:02:45,005 --> 00:02:46,677
How very thoughtful.
40
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:55,508
- I don't care who's calling, do you?
- Certainly not.
41
00:02:58,686 --> 00:03:00,358
- Unless you do.
- I don't.
42
00:03:00,938 --> 00:03:04,010
- Well, I do. Let's find out.
- Yes, let's.
43
00:03:09,739 --> 00:03:10,728
You rang?
44
00:03:11,283 --> 00:03:14,559
Yes, Lurch, we were somewhat
curious about...
45
00:03:14,787 --> 00:03:19,702
- Lurch, who was that on the phone?
- Man from Strife magazine.
46
00:03:20,251 --> 00:03:23,607
Strife magazine?
I should think one subscription
47
00:03:23,838 --> 00:03:25,556
for each member of the family
would be enough.
48
00:03:25,757 --> 00:03:30,387
- He was a photographer.
- A photographer?
49
00:03:30,887 --> 00:03:33,799
He said he'd come back next week.
50
00:03:34,933 --> 00:03:36,286
I wonder what he wanted.
51
00:03:36,435 --> 00:03:40,223
Oh, this is just a shot in the dark, dear,
but since he was a photographer,
52
00:03:40,814 --> 00:03:42,532
I suppose he wanted to take a photo.
53
00:03:42,775 --> 00:03:46,688
Sound thinking, my dear, but of whom?
Or is it who?
54
00:03:47,613 --> 00:03:49,729
This is the time they choose
their Man of the Year.
55
00:03:51,325 --> 00:03:54,283
- Exactly.
- Tish, you don't suppose...
56
00:03:54,954 --> 00:03:57,866
And why not?
Who deserves the honor more than you?
57
00:03:59,292 --> 00:04:03,524
Well, that's true, but...
Well, there are others, of course.
58
00:04:03,797 --> 00:04:07,551
Who knows more about Zen-Yogi,
breeding barracudas
59
00:04:07,801 --> 00:04:10,315
and wrecking railroad trains?
60
00:04:10,888 --> 00:04:13,607
No one. But... But still...
61
00:04:13,975 --> 00:04:16,967
And who can match your dexterity
with the boomerang,
62
00:04:17,186 --> 00:04:20,576
your skill at Parcheesi, your savoir faire?
63
00:04:20,982 --> 00:04:24,497
Tish. Those French words. They win me.
64
00:04:24,736 --> 00:04:27,045
Darling, grab your telescope.
65
00:04:28,657 --> 00:04:32,366
Imagine. My darling sweet Gomez
66
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,497
on the cover of Strife magazine.
67
00:04:35,289 --> 00:04:36,847
I can just see it now.
68
00:04:41,671 --> 00:04:45,664
Those cover pictures are dreadful,
especially the ones on Strife magazine.
69
00:04:46,342 --> 00:04:48,333
No problem,
we'll simply go through the family album
70
00:04:48,511 --> 00:04:49,785
and select one of our own.
71
00:04:50,096 --> 00:04:51,575
And I know just the one.
72
00:04:52,349 --> 00:04:54,658
It captures all your inner fire,
73
00:04:54,852 --> 00:04:58,640
your sterling intensity and the real you.
74
00:05:01,025 --> 00:05:02,014
This one?
75
00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:10,498
Oh, no, darling. That's lovely,
but that's not the one I meant.
76
00:05:11,703 --> 00:05:14,012
You were such a distinguished little baby
77
00:05:14,206 --> 00:05:16,401
with such a distinguished
little moustache.
78
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,655
Yes, saved Mama the trouble
of straining the baby food.
79
00:05:23,549 --> 00:05:26,063
We've gone through the entire album.
This is the only one left.
80
00:05:28,679 --> 00:05:30,510
Gomez, darling, that's it!
81
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:36,578
See how it captures your inner dynamics,
your sense of destiny, your divine fire.
82
00:05:37,522 --> 00:05:40,275
By george, you are right! It is the real me.
83
00:05:44,071 --> 00:05:45,823
Oh, close your eyes.
84
00:05:46,365 --> 00:05:49,914
Can't you just imagine it
on the cover of Strife magazine?
85
00:05:50,369 --> 00:05:55,523
Picture like that. They may want to save it
for the Man of the Century.
86
00:05:55,833 --> 00:06:01,942
Oh, it's wonderful, Gomez. Simply...
Oh, darling...
87
00:06:02,632 --> 00:06:06,705
Cleopatra, cough up that photograph.
Come on, cough it up.
88
00:06:06,970 --> 00:06:09,848
Darling, please control yourself.
89
00:06:10,432 --> 00:06:13,981
After all,
aggression only breeds aggression.
90
00:06:14,478 --> 00:06:15,911
Now, wait.
91
00:06:17,815 --> 00:06:22,491
Cleopatra, dear,
let Mother have it, sweetheart.
92
00:06:23,237 --> 00:06:24,909
Come on, darling.
93
00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:29,752
Perhaps, we should use a little aggression.
94
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,914
- Oh, it's too late.
- There goes the real me.
95
00:06:39,296 --> 00:06:42,527
Darling, why don't we have
Croom Strauss,
96
00:06:42,758 --> 00:06:44,828
that same photographic genius
97
00:06:45,011 --> 00:06:46,842
who took that picture,
take another one of you.
98
00:06:47,013 --> 00:06:49,732
- Capital idea!
- I'll have Lurch lay out your best suit.
99
00:06:50,183 --> 00:06:52,697
- Querida, this is my best suit.
- Oh?
100
00:06:52,894 --> 00:06:55,010
Don't you remember?
I bought dozens of them.
101
00:06:55,438 --> 00:06:58,589
- I wanted nothing but best suits.
- Of course, dear.
102
00:06:58,984 --> 00:07:00,542
Well, off to Croom Strauss.
103
00:07:00,694 --> 00:07:02,571
I know exactly where
that exclusive little studio
104
00:07:02,738 --> 00:07:03,966
of his is located.
105
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:09,863
Croom Strauss.
106
00:07:11,414 --> 00:07:12,403
Come.
107
00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:20,317
I'm afraid he's gone out of business,
the only photographer, the only artist,
108
00:07:21,133 --> 00:07:23,772
the only virtuoso of the prismatic lens
109
00:07:23,969 --> 00:07:26,767
who could capture
the real Gomez Addams, gone.
110
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,753
Cheer up, darling. I'm sure there are
dozens of photographers
111
00:07:30,976 --> 00:07:32,250
who can take your picture.
112
00:07:32,395 --> 00:07:35,512
Take my picture, yes,
but capture the real me? Never!
113
00:07:36,065 --> 00:07:39,614
Well, perhaps, not dozens,
but at least several?
114
00:07:41,154 --> 00:07:45,272
A couple? One?
115
00:07:47,035 --> 00:07:49,071
No. Well, you're right, dear.
116
00:07:50,831 --> 00:07:53,061
This is the bitterest blow
117
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:56,003
since the city made us fill in
our lovely patch of quicksand.
118
00:08:03,052 --> 00:08:04,610
Good morning, Uncle Fester.
119
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,172
Up at your exercises early, I see.
120
00:08:08,975 --> 00:08:11,205
You're just in time for
a nice hot cup of henbane.
121
00:08:11,394 --> 00:08:13,749
Oh, no, thank you, Morticia, I'm on a diet.
122
00:08:14,022 --> 00:08:16,934
I just had some soap crunchies.
Real bubbly.
123
00:08:17,735 --> 00:08:20,568
Fester, you're going to have to watch
those in-between-meal snacks.
124
00:08:21,155 --> 00:08:23,464
You'll be on those stilts all day.
125
00:08:23,699 --> 00:08:27,738
- Gomez darling, cup of henbane?
- No, nothing.
126
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,918
When are you coming down?
You've been up there three days.
127
00:08:35,378 --> 00:08:36,891
You know how he is when he's depressed.
128
00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:40,122
Well, being made Man of the Year
is depressing.
129
00:08:41,552 --> 00:08:44,430
It's because we can't find
the one photographer in the whole world
130
00:08:44,847 --> 00:08:46,724
who can capture the real Gomez Addams.
131
00:08:46,891 --> 00:08:49,883
Is that all? Your troubles are over.
132
00:08:50,728 --> 00:08:51,877
They are?
133
00:08:53,439 --> 00:08:55,634
Like Michelangelo with a camera.
You know where he is?
134
00:08:55,817 --> 00:08:57,170
- Sure.
- Where?
135
00:08:58,069 --> 00:09:00,424
- Standing right in front of you.
- Back to the chandelier.
136
00:09:00,614 --> 00:09:03,731
Oh, no, Gomez.
I know my way around the camera.
137
00:09:04,159 --> 00:09:09,870
That's true, darling. Remember his studies
of salamanders spawning in a mud bath?
138
00:09:10,541 --> 00:09:14,329
By george, Fester, you're the solution
to my problems. Let's get started.
139
00:09:16,047 --> 00:09:20,404
- Oh, wait, dear. Freshen up first.
- Freshen up? Is that necessary?
140
00:09:21,845 --> 00:09:23,164
Necessary.
141
00:09:30,729 --> 00:09:32,685
- You ready, Fester?
- Ready, ready, ready, ready, ready.
142
00:09:40,531 --> 00:09:42,567
Perfect! You never looked better, Gomez.
143
00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:45,419
Fester, you're sure the camera's pointed
in the right direction?
144
00:09:45,703 --> 00:09:48,342
Well, maybe it is a little off-center.
145
00:09:49,582 --> 00:09:51,220
Oh, now I really have it.
146
00:09:51,376 --> 00:09:53,492
It's going to be the best picture
you ever took.
147
00:09:53,754 --> 00:09:56,746
Uncle Fester, you're focusing
on the warthog.
148
00:09:58,634 --> 00:10:01,671
Oh, yeah. Probably the best picture
the warthog ever took.
149
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:06,574
Fester, don't you think you'd better start
with Cousin Itt?
150
00:10:06,767 --> 00:10:07,995
Oh, sure.
151
00:10:09,103 --> 00:10:13,096
I want this to look real pretty.
Better take off his hat and glasses.
152
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,697
Capital idea.
153
00:10:17,571 --> 00:10:21,644
Darling, I think a profile shot would be
much more interesting, don't you?
154
00:10:22,034 --> 00:10:23,706
Good thinking, my dear.
155
00:10:25,496 --> 00:10:26,485
There.
156
00:10:28,416 --> 00:10:29,895
- How's that?
- Much better.
157
00:10:32,795 --> 00:10:35,150
Why, I think that's a lovely idea,
Cousin Itt.
158
00:10:35,340 --> 00:10:38,730
- Why don't you wear your new suit?
- Yes, and have Thing give you a little trim.
159
00:10:41,972 --> 00:10:46,250
Okay, Gomez. Let's get cracking.
We're going to make photographic history.
160
00:10:48,854 --> 00:10:52,608
Now, darling, let me see
that lovely Addams charm.
161
00:10:59,031 --> 00:11:01,261
Tish. That French.
162
00:11:01,451 --> 00:11:04,841
- All right. Hold it.
- Just a moment.
163
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,993
Darling, later. Later.
164
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:11,950
Later.
165
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:18,408
That's funny. Now it doesn't look so good.
166
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:23,877
- How about this?
- Much better. Okay.
167
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:28,184
One, two... A little lower, please.
168
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:34,531
A little lower, please. Lower.
169
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,293
Lower.
170
00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:43,913
Lower.
171
00:11:48,209 --> 00:11:49,324
Hold it!
172
00:11:54,549 --> 00:11:55,982
Uncle Fester, did you get it?
173
00:11:59,638 --> 00:12:01,469
Yeah, right in the head.
174
00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:08,375
Darling.
175
00:12:10,358 --> 00:12:13,873
I've hired a private detective
to find your favorite photographer.
176
00:12:14,862 --> 00:12:16,181
Just haven't heard from him yet.
177
00:12:16,447 --> 00:12:18,119
Well, maybe you ought to hire
a private detective
178
00:12:18,283 --> 00:12:20,592
to find the private detective you hired.
179
00:12:21,244 --> 00:12:22,643
I'll never come down.
180
00:12:25,123 --> 00:12:28,832
You know, it must be nicer up there
than I thought it was.
181
00:12:29,086 --> 00:12:30,678
Darling, Gomez...
182
00:12:37,470 --> 00:12:41,827
Hello. Oh, yes.
Yes, just one moment, please.
183
00:12:42,267 --> 00:12:44,656
Darling, it's the detective I hired.
184
00:12:45,019 --> 00:12:48,216
Yes. How wonderful!
185
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,113
Gomez, he found our photographer.
186
00:12:51,318 --> 00:12:52,433
Eureka!
187
00:12:53,529 --> 00:12:54,564
Morticia...
188
00:12:54,696 --> 00:12:58,609
Quiet, please. Now, pardon me.
Once more. Where can we find him?
189
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,999
Oh, dear, that's dreadful.
Thank you so much.
190
00:13:05,708 --> 00:13:06,743
Querida, don't keep me in suspense.
191
00:13:06,876 --> 00:13:09,151
What time is the appointment
with Croom Strauss?
192
00:13:09,337 --> 00:13:12,807
- Darling, we have a slight complication.
- There's someone ahead of me.
193
00:13:13,341 --> 00:13:17,129
Thousands! He now works
for the Department of Motor Vehicles.
194
00:13:17,721 --> 00:13:20,474
He takes the pictures they use
on the drivers' licenses.
195
00:13:22,893 --> 00:13:26,568
What a proud thing it is to live in a state
with such high aesthetic requirements.
196
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:32,552
Don't you see? The only way you can
possibly be photographed by him
197
00:13:32,820 --> 00:13:34,253
is to get a driver's license.
198
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:37,082
Bully! I've always wanted one.
199
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:39,240
Darling, you've never been able to drive.
200
00:13:39,995 --> 00:13:43,510
True. But there's very little I don't know
about the modern horseless carriage.
201
00:13:44,374 --> 00:13:46,729
- Except how to shift gears.
- And steer.
202
00:13:47,211 --> 00:13:48,883
Yeah, and put on the brakes.
203
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,393
Well, those things do give me
a little trouble.
204
00:13:51,549 --> 00:13:55,337
A little trouble?
Remember the blue falcon bird we had?
205
00:13:55,928 --> 00:14:00,604
Oh, yeah. Big Blue.
Nothing could stop that car,
206
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:03,368
scorching desert,
snow-covered mountains,
207
00:14:03,687 --> 00:14:04,915
she could go anywhere.
208
00:14:05,313 --> 00:14:06,985
Except between two street cars.
209
00:14:10,736 --> 00:14:14,331
Still as solid as the day she rolled out
of the showroom.
210
00:14:14,573 --> 00:14:15,562
Yeah.
211
00:14:16,158 --> 00:14:21,437
- And so is our old Stanley Steamer.
- Makes a beautiful mobile, doesn't it?
212
00:14:28,296 --> 00:14:31,333
By Jove, after all these years, she can still
build up a fine head of steam.
213
00:14:31,842 --> 00:14:34,640
Querida, just a little practice
and I'll be right back in there again.
214
00:14:35,429 --> 00:14:39,138
Marvelous idea, darling.
I shall be your instructress.
215
00:14:49,944 --> 00:14:54,699
- Gomez, you're riding the clutch again.
- Really, certainly rides beautifully.
216
00:14:55,367 --> 00:14:58,484
Now, darling, listen.
You're going through a school zone.
217
00:14:58,704 --> 00:14:59,693
School zone.
218
00:14:59,872 --> 00:15:02,432
Your speedometer is registering
75 miles an hour.
219
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:05,025
- Seventy-five per.
- What are you doing wrong?
220
00:15:05,211 --> 00:15:06,200
Blocking traffic?
221
00:15:08,464 --> 00:15:10,136
Think, darling. Think.
222
00:15:11,217 --> 00:15:13,777
'Course, I'm not waving to
the little nippers as I drive by.
223
00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:15,562
Hiya, kids, how are you?
224
00:15:15,722 --> 00:15:17,792
- Gomez, dear. Put on your brake.
- Brake.
225
00:15:18,642 --> 00:15:21,281
That's not the brake, Gomez!
226
00:15:21,603 --> 00:15:27,235
- Are you sure?
- Pretty sure. This is the brake.
227
00:15:28,110 --> 00:15:30,465
Oh, well, by this time,
I'm out of the school zone,
228
00:15:30,654 --> 00:15:32,372
so I shift into high,
229
00:15:33,574 --> 00:15:35,087
and away we go.
230
00:15:35,243 --> 00:15:37,393
Gomez, darling,
you just shifted into reverse.
231
00:15:39,956 --> 00:15:42,868
Well, these new cars are not
what they used to be.
232
00:15:43,084 --> 00:15:45,837
Neither am I. I'm pooped.
233
00:15:46,588 --> 00:15:49,148
Well, I guess we're all agreed
that the test run was a huge success.
234
00:15:54,597 --> 00:15:55,996
You rang?
235
00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:59,610
I did indeed, Lurch. Bring the car around
to the door and let us away
236
00:15:59,852 --> 00:16:02,491
to the Department of Motor Vehicles.
I'm off to take my driver's test.
237
00:16:07,986 --> 00:16:10,420
I couldn't have said it better myself, Lurch.
238
00:16:14,409 --> 00:16:16,081
Tallyho, one and all!
239
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:20,105
Hey, what kind of an outfit is that?
240
00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:22,282
Just the very latest in modern motoring.
241
00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:24,291
One should always dress for the occasion,
shouldn't one?
242
00:16:24,462 --> 00:16:27,534
Yes, darling.
That's why I'd like for you to wear this.
243
00:16:28,132 --> 00:16:31,408
Egad, what a smart little beanie!
244
00:16:33,471 --> 00:16:35,189
- You like it, dear?
- Love it.
245
00:16:35,348 --> 00:16:38,101
Though there seems to be
an overabundance of smog today.
246
00:16:39,436 --> 00:16:41,745
Well, in that case,
I think we'd better dispense with it.
247
00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:46,641
Anything you say, querida.
248
00:16:47,987 --> 00:16:51,138
Darling, are you sure you can handle this?
249
00:16:52,659 --> 00:16:57,289
My dear, I've made an exhaustive study
of the internal combustion engine.
250
00:17:03,378 --> 00:17:05,448
Lurch, how do you start it?
251
00:17:14,515 --> 00:17:16,426
It sounds like Cousin Itt.
252
00:17:24,150 --> 00:17:25,139
Cousin Itt!
253
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,427
What are you doing under there?
254
00:17:28,905 --> 00:17:30,304
You washed your hair?
255
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:33,839
And you were sitting under the hood,
letting it dry. Very clever.
256
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:42,450
Oh, I love your new hairdo.
It's so... So you!
257
00:17:42,754 --> 00:17:44,312
I'm sorry we disturbed you.
258
00:17:53,432 --> 00:17:56,629
Gomez, you're riding the clutch again.
259
00:17:57,144 --> 00:18:01,615
- Smooth, isn't it?
- Only for standing still, dear.
260
00:18:02,233 --> 00:18:04,463
Well, if it's action you want...
261
00:18:33,307 --> 00:18:38,176
- Triumph of man over machine.
- Really, darling, whose machine?
262
00:18:39,314 --> 00:18:40,986
A whole slough of them, blocking my path.
263
00:18:42,818 --> 00:18:45,332
Lurch, this can go on the mobile.
264
00:18:53,371 --> 00:18:54,804
He's taking his written test.
265
00:18:54,956 --> 00:18:57,072
Good, then he'll never get
to the driver's test.
266
00:18:58,501 --> 00:19:02,050
Perfect score! And in 10 seconds flat.
A new indoor record.
267
00:19:03,048 --> 00:19:05,357
- Oh, that's wonderful, darling.
- Let's go.
268
00:19:05,675 --> 00:19:08,951
Oh, this is the dedicated public servant
who's going to conduct the driving test.
269
00:19:09,429 --> 00:19:12,899
My dedicated wife, my dedicated uncle,
my dedicated cousin and...
270
00:19:13,142 --> 00:19:14,257
Now, let's get it over with.
271
00:19:14,685 --> 00:19:18,041
Please, wait. I want to be with him
when he takes his driving test.
272
00:19:18,689 --> 00:19:23,922
Lady, I wish I didn't have to be with him.
No wives, relatives, or dogs.
273
00:19:26,823 --> 00:19:28,495
He's a bit touchy about that.
274
00:19:28,658 --> 00:19:31,730
I do think he's getting used to it.
Come, dear.
275
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:33,432
Let's get moving.
276
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:39,917
But, Cousin Itt, what safer place is there
to stand than right here?
277
00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:42,908
Another town?
278
00:19:45,134 --> 00:19:47,090
He's the family wit.
279
00:19:47,261 --> 00:19:48,250
- We're off.
- Darling...
280
00:20:23,592 --> 00:20:25,503
These old thoroughbreds
are very temperamental.
281
00:20:29,765 --> 00:20:32,643
Mr. Addams, you do know how to drive?
282
00:20:32,852 --> 00:20:36,162
Sir, I'm going to treat you
to the drive of your life.
283
00:20:47,451 --> 00:20:48,440
Thank you, Thing.
284
00:21:18,484 --> 00:21:19,553
Well, sir, what's the word?
285
00:21:20,527 --> 00:21:23,360
- You ought to be arrested.
- Arrested?
286
00:21:23,572 --> 00:21:26,006
For even thinking of driving.
287
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,118
I never drive.
Lurch, our chauffeur, does all the driving.
288
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:33,527
Then why?
Why do you want a driver's license?
289
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:35,839
For the picture, of course.
290
00:21:36,294 --> 00:21:37,932
The picture? Of course?
291
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:42,820
Sure. The picture you put
on the drivers' licenses.
292
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,633
- You want that?
- Precisely.
293
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,564
You have a new employee,
Wolfgang Croom Strauss,
294
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,315
the world's greatest photographer.
295
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:52,523
That creep?
He was fired the same day he was hired.
296
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:55,201
And between you and me,
I don't know how he lasted that long.
297
00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:03,065
Great art is never appreciated
in its own time.
298
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:05,291
Well, we're right back where we started.
299
00:22:06,618 --> 00:22:08,768
Destiny seems determined
to brush me aside.
300
00:22:10,581 --> 00:22:13,334
Brush. Gomez, darling, that's it!
301
00:22:16,879 --> 00:22:19,393
Tish, you're marvelous.
Only you as an artist could capture
302
00:22:19,590 --> 00:22:22,582
both the inner
and outer Gomez, simultaneously.
303
00:22:29,017 --> 00:22:30,166
French.
304
00:22:30,310 --> 00:22:33,700
Darling Gomez, please. The painting, dear.
305
00:22:34,189 --> 00:22:36,703
Querida, you've done it!
306
00:22:36,901 --> 00:22:40,132
The perfect picture for Strife magazine's
Man of the Year.
307
00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:06,204
Hey, it's my turn.
308
00:23:08,017 --> 00:23:09,689
I wonder who that could be at the door.
309
00:23:19,446 --> 00:23:21,641
- What was that?
- Must be termites.
310
00:23:22,115 --> 00:23:23,104
King size.
311
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,275
Man from Strife.
312
00:23:30,666 --> 00:23:32,497
Come in. Come in, old man.
313
00:23:33,336 --> 00:23:35,566
Strife magazine has been
one of our favorites.
314
00:23:35,755 --> 00:23:39,304
- We simply devour it from cover to cover.
- Quite delicious.
315
00:23:41,428 --> 00:23:44,420
- I guess we know why you're here.
- You mean about the picture?
316
00:23:44,765 --> 00:23:48,804
Yes, it's all ready for you.
Took a bit of doing, but here it is. Thing?
317
00:23:54,525 --> 00:23:55,958
Your Man of the Year.
318
00:23:57,820 --> 00:24:00,698
There's been some mistake. You see,
we already have our Man of the Year.
319
00:24:02,325 --> 00:24:04,714
But the picture.
I thought you wanted a picture.
320
00:24:05,245 --> 00:24:06,439
Yeah, of your house.
321
00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:10,701
Our house.
You mean, we've made House of the Year?
322
00:24:11,001 --> 00:24:14,391
Well, sort of. You see we are running
a story on haunted houses,
323
00:24:14,630 --> 00:24:18,020
and yours has been chosen
the spookiest one of all.
324
00:24:18,259 --> 00:24:20,454
Thank you. We do try.
325
00:24:21,971 --> 00:24:24,087
This is even better than Man of the Year.
326
00:24:24,265 --> 00:24:25,937
This is a salute to the whole family.
327
00:24:26,937 --> 00:24:36,937
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