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00:00:05,228 --> 00:00:08,228
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00:01:25,315 --> 00:01:26,543
All right, sailor,
3
00:01:26,691 --> 00:01:29,683
pass the powder and grape shot
and we'll rake her fore and aft!
4
00:01:29,902 --> 00:01:30,937
No.
5
00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:34,699
Hey, you mutinous dog.
I'll have you quartered.
6
00:01:34,990 --> 00:01:36,867
Flogged and keelhauled.
7
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- On the double!
- No.
8
00:01:39,244 --> 00:01:41,394
Come on, Fester, be a good sport.
9
00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:46,790
I'm tired of being Benedict Arnold
and Jesse James and John Wilkes Booth.
10
00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:48,995
I'm tired of being a good sport.
11
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:53,017
All right. If you want to be childish.
12
00:02:02,597 --> 00:02:03,791
Ahoy, my beloved.
13
00:02:03,932 --> 00:02:07,049
Time for another great moment
in Addams history.
14
00:02:08,227 --> 00:02:11,822
Will it take long, darling? I want to have
these traps ready by tonight.
15
00:02:12,064 --> 00:02:14,897
Only a moment, ch�rie.
But what a moment!
16
00:02:17,318 --> 00:02:20,867
It was seven bells on that fateful night
in the North Atlantic.
17
00:02:21,113 --> 00:02:24,230
A fierce sou'wester was howling
through the rigging,
18
00:02:24,450 --> 00:02:28,887
as Admiral John Paul Addams
drove his stout little frigate
19
00:02:29,162 --> 00:02:32,120
straight into the heart
of the German flotilla.
20
00:02:32,331 --> 00:02:36,449
Foaming up at his stern at flank speed
was Admiral Tojo
21
00:02:36,710 --> 00:02:38,302
and the imperial fleet.
22
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,373
Oh, Gomez, I never tire of this one.
23
00:02:40,547 --> 00:02:44,699
It was then Admiral Addams
fired that shot heard round the world
24
00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:47,606
after uttering those inspired words,
25
00:02:47,803 --> 00:02:50,078
"If you need me, I'll be in my cabin."
26
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:08,363
Man the pumps, scuttle the bilge,
abandon ship.
27
00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:11,494
And get a wrench.
You've wrecked the plumbing again.
28
00:03:11,699 --> 00:03:13,496
I do it every time.
29
00:03:19,664 --> 00:03:22,940
You can take your finger out of the pipe,
Fester. I shut it off at the main.
30
00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:25,283
It could've happened to anybody.
31
00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:27,189
Not to an Addams.
32
00:03:28,005 --> 00:03:32,237
That's four times in a row. From now on
the children mix the gunpowder.
33
00:03:33,259 --> 00:03:35,853
Pretty soon I'll be nobody around here.
34
00:03:40,516 --> 00:03:42,472
I'm going up to my closet.
35
00:03:45,853 --> 00:03:47,366
What's bothering him?
36
00:03:47,522 --> 00:03:49,558
Perhaps I was too sharp with him.
37
00:03:49,732 --> 00:03:53,691
Oh, darling, he'll get over it.
Uncle Fester just isn't too practical.
38
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:56,711
I may as well go upstairs
and call the plumber.
39
00:03:56,905 --> 00:03:59,373
Darling, who's being impractical now?
40
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:03,786
Why don't I call that nice Mr. Beesley,
our insurance man,
41
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:06,072
and let him take care of everything?
42
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,123
I don't think we better bother him again.
43
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:12,568
Bother him? Darling, you know
how excited he gets every time we call.
44
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:17,215
I'm sure he'd be terribly hurt
if we didn't get in touch with him.
45
00:04:17,464 --> 00:04:18,499
Come along.
46
00:04:25,304 --> 00:04:29,820
One more telephone call from Addams
and I am going to kill you, Beesley.
47
00:04:30,267 --> 00:04:33,657
Three big claims paid on this policy
in one year.
48
00:04:34,104 --> 00:04:36,060
So just one more policy like that
49
00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:39,825
and Excelso-Fidelity Insurance
will pull our franchise.
50
00:04:41,735 --> 00:04:44,124
Arthur J. Henson, President, speaking.
51
00:04:44,696 --> 00:04:47,529
Hello, Mr. President. This is Mrs. Addams.
52
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:50,910
A very unusual thing just happened
in our playroom.
53
00:04:51,118 --> 00:04:52,676
Admiral Addams...
54
00:04:52,995 --> 00:04:54,747
Well, actually it was Uncle Fester.
55
00:04:54,913 --> 00:04:57,632
You see, they hanged Admiral Addams
200 years ago.
56
00:04:58,166 --> 00:05:02,557
Well, he accidentally got just a pinch
too much sulfur in the gunpowder,
57
00:05:02,837 --> 00:05:05,954
so that when he fired the cannon,
it hit a water pipe.
58
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,084
A broken water pipe? My...
59
00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:10,188
I will not pay another...
60
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:11,412
I've only...
61
00:05:11,553 --> 00:05:13,703
He's charming,
but he seems rather confused.
62
00:05:13,888 --> 00:05:15,606
- Lf you'll permit me, my dear.
- Yes, darling.
63
00:05:15,765 --> 00:05:17,437
- Do you understand? Not one more claim.
- Thank you.
64
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,717
This is Gomez Addams.
What seems to be your problem?
65
00:05:20,936 --> 00:05:22,927
Now get this
through your thick head, Addams.
66
00:05:23,104 --> 00:05:26,414
We're not paying you one more cent
and that is final!
67
00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:29,884
Come, come, Henson. You don't really
expect me to jump at your first offer?
68
00:05:31,236 --> 00:05:35,024
Oh, you want a better offer?
Well, go jump in the lake.
69
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,429
The fourth claim cancels out the policy.
70
00:05:39,035 --> 00:05:40,150
Hey, hang on a minute.
71
00:05:40,286 --> 00:05:42,277
- What are you saying?
- Here, in the small print.
72
00:05:42,455 --> 00:05:44,207
If we pay off on the tiny claim,
73
00:05:44,373 --> 00:05:46,284
we're through with him
and we're out cheap.
74
00:05:53,923 --> 00:05:55,515
Hello, Mr. Addams.
75
00:05:56,300 --> 00:06:01,135
We'll play along with you on this.
Your check will be in the next mail.
76
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,413
Well, that was a letdown.
77
00:06:04,557 --> 00:06:06,627
I merely stated my position
with impeccable logic
78
00:06:06,809 --> 00:06:08,288
and the poor devil caved in.
79
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:11,427
Darling, you tend
to underestimate yourself.
80
00:06:11,646 --> 00:06:13,125
I suppose so.
81
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:17,107
I've often wondered what would happen
if I turned myself loose on the world.
82
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,397
Gomez, the world just isn't
ready for you yet.
83
00:06:29,996 --> 00:06:31,714
Did my new cannon get here yet?
84
00:06:33,582 --> 00:06:36,335
Darling, we're going to have to tell him.
85
00:06:39,546 --> 00:06:43,585
Uncle Fester, I regret to tell you
that we're going to have to punish you.
86
00:06:43,841 --> 00:06:45,957
You've been spending
altogether too much money.
87
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:51,709
Fester, you won't see another penny
of your allowance until 1986.
88
00:06:54,017 --> 00:06:56,406
- You know what that means, don't you?
- No.
89
00:06:56,602 --> 00:07:00,117
Not another shot do you fire in this house
until you make it up.
90
00:07:01,606 --> 00:07:04,757
You've been whittling me down
around here little by little.
91
00:07:04,984 --> 00:07:08,943
- But this broke the camel's back!
- It's for your own good.
92
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,585
I'm old enough to know
what's for my own good.
93
00:07:11,782 --> 00:07:13,659
From now on I'm gonna watch out
for myself.
94
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,096
I'll get a job.
95
00:07:18,454 --> 00:07:23,847
"Wanted. Army Space Program.
10,000 hours flight time.
96
00:07:24,376 --> 00:07:27,766
"Test pilot prepared to travel extensively."
97
00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:31,564
No. I don't like army food.
98
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:38,636
"Be your own boss.
Are you young and ambitious?
99
00:07:38,889 --> 00:07:41,847
"Highest commission paid
to dynamic salesmen.
100
00:07:42,058 --> 00:07:45,175
"Must be clean-cut,
personable, fast-talker,
101
00:07:45,394 --> 00:07:47,703
"conservative dresser, magnetic.
102
00:07:47,897 --> 00:07:51,048
"Apply.
Arthur J. Henson Insurance Agency."
103
00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:55,540
Oh, boy. That's me!
104
00:08:16,088 --> 00:08:18,363
Are you sure you want to see Mr. Beesley?
105
00:08:18,548 --> 00:08:21,108
Oh, yes. He's looking for me.
106
00:08:22,552 --> 00:08:24,941
Well, go on in.
107
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:26,172
Thank you.
108
00:08:36,105 --> 00:08:38,938
You can fill out your hospitalization claim
with my secretary.
109
00:08:39,775 --> 00:08:43,370
Oh, but I feel fine.
And dynamic and aggressive.
110
00:08:43,612 --> 00:08:46,285
- I'm your new salesman.
- No, there's some mistake.
111
00:08:46,489 --> 00:08:49,561
No, those things you said in your ad,
that's me.
112
00:08:49,784 --> 00:08:53,140
No. You have to have previous experience.
113
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:55,804
Oh, I've had plenty of previous experience.
114
00:08:55,997 --> 00:08:58,830
I held the same job for 37 years.
115
00:08:59,042 --> 00:09:01,840
- Selling?
- No. Public relations. Yeah.
116
00:09:02,044 --> 00:09:04,274
My father paid me to keep out of public.
117
00:09:04,463 --> 00:09:07,023
Of course, when he died I retired.
118
00:09:07,215 --> 00:09:10,127
Look, I'm on a very tight schedule.
If you'll just leave.
119
00:09:10,343 --> 00:09:14,256
Oh, but I'm a great salesman.
I'm magnetic. Watch.
120
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:19,279
And I'm a live wire, too.
121
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,339
Go ahead. Sell anything you like.
122
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:31,962
- Oh, good. Can I have a sales kit?
- Take it.
123
00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:37,853
- Get out of my sight.
- Just like dear old Dad.
124
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,176
Good shot, querida.
125
00:09:53,464 --> 00:09:56,422
That's the third bird we've lost today.
126
00:09:57,092 --> 00:10:00,164
Must be the nesting season, my dove.
127
00:10:06,141 --> 00:10:09,770
- Uncle Fester. What's wrong?
- I tried.
128
00:10:10,145 --> 00:10:12,818
I knocked on every door in my territory.
129
00:10:13,022 --> 00:10:17,698
I was dynamic.
I was personable, charming, and magnetic.
130
00:10:18,235 --> 00:10:20,385
But it wasn't any use.
131
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:25,379
Oh, my career is ruined. I'm all washed-up.
132
00:10:29,745 --> 00:10:32,259
I have a feeling all's not well with Fester.
133
00:10:32,998 --> 00:10:36,468
It's hard to tell.
He puts up such a brave front.
134
00:10:37,168 --> 00:10:38,886
Oh, yes.
135
00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:51,256
Oh, Uncle Fester, dear.
136
00:10:51,431 --> 00:10:52,864
How can you expect to lose a headache
137
00:10:53,015 --> 00:10:56,007
with a hot water bottle
that isn't even hot?
138
00:10:56,226 --> 00:10:57,261
Nothing will help.
139
00:11:00,397 --> 00:11:02,911
Oh, Lurch. Put it over there, please.
140
00:11:04,567 --> 00:11:06,876
And Lurch, would you fill this up?
141
00:11:07,069 --> 00:11:10,061
And make sure
the water is nice and scalding.
142
00:11:11,198 --> 00:11:12,995
That'll be all, Lurch.
143
00:11:18,496 --> 00:11:20,726
Now, Uncle Fester. Sit up.
144
00:11:20,915 --> 00:11:24,464
You'll feel a lot better
after a nice hot cup of buzzard broth.
145
00:11:25,877 --> 00:11:28,516
No, I couldn't even get a sip down.
146
00:11:29,630 --> 00:11:33,384
But I have a surprise for you for lunch.
Guess.
147
00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:35,578
Gopherloaf.
148
00:11:36,678 --> 00:11:39,272
Oh, I know what you're trying to do.
149
00:11:39,722 --> 00:11:43,795
But it's no use. Just leave me in my pain.
150
00:11:50,815 --> 00:11:52,806
Gomez, I'm frightened.
151
00:11:52,984 --> 00:11:54,861
Even when he got caught
in the tunnel of love
152
00:11:55,027 --> 00:11:56,460
he didn't turn down his gopherloaf.
153
00:11:56,612 --> 00:11:57,886
I know.
154
00:11:58,030 --> 00:12:02,069
He thinks he's a failure.
Something has to be done about it.
155
00:12:02,325 --> 00:12:05,954
Tish, go downstairs
and keep the children away.
156
00:12:11,959 --> 00:12:13,950
All right, you lily-livered goldbrick!
157
00:12:14,127 --> 00:12:17,119
Are you going to lie there sniveling
on that nice warm bed of nails?
158
00:12:17,338 --> 00:12:20,091
Or are you going to get up
and fight like an Addams?
159
00:12:20,299 --> 00:12:23,177
Well, if it's all the same with you,
I'd rather lie here and snivel.
160
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,029
When a pilot crashes what does he do?
161
00:12:27,222 --> 00:12:30,976
He gets right back into that crate
and up into the wild blue yonder again.
162
00:12:31,225 --> 00:12:35,423
And when a lion tamer gets ripped up,
does he snivel? Does he quit?
163
00:12:35,771 --> 00:12:38,968
Not always.
And that's what you're going to do, Fester.
164
00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:42,183
You're going to get up off that bed.
On your feet.
165
00:12:49,616 --> 00:12:53,052
- Now sell your policy.
- Oh, golly, Gomez.
166
00:12:53,286 --> 00:12:54,560
Fester, the Addams spirit!
167
00:12:57,457 --> 00:13:01,450
Good afternoon, sir.
Or madam, as the case may be.
168
00:13:01,710 --> 00:13:04,144
I am your friendly, smiling
169
00:13:08,591 --> 00:13:11,901
insurance advisor,
come to help you with your problem.
170
00:13:14,596 --> 00:13:18,066
- Well, go on, Fester. The rest of it.
- This is as far as I ever got.
171
00:13:19,184 --> 00:13:20,902
I find that hard to believe.
172
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:24,689
Your presentation was sharp, pithy,
to the point.
173
00:13:25,981 --> 00:13:29,451
I've got it. I'll be the salesman
and you be the customer.
174
00:13:29,693 --> 00:13:31,809
Now, we'll make this as real as possible.
175
00:13:31,986 --> 00:13:35,058
And you give me all the answers
that you get.
176
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:38,353
And I'll show you how to handle them.
All right?
177
00:13:38,826 --> 00:13:40,100
Now,
178
00:13:41,328 --> 00:13:42,761
here we go.
179
00:13:46,499 --> 00:13:48,012
- Good morning, sir.
- I'll buy it.
180
00:13:49,835 --> 00:13:52,224
I simply can't resist a sales pitch.
181
00:13:52,629 --> 00:13:55,860
You have got to give me the answers
that you get.
182
00:13:56,341 --> 00:13:59,731
All right, now.
We'll start from the beginning. All right?
183
00:13:59,969 --> 00:14:01,846
I'll even go outside.
184
00:14:07,267 --> 00:14:08,700
There's nobody home.
185
00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:17,310
- Good morning, sir.
- Get lost!
186
00:14:17,484 --> 00:14:20,123
I'm your friendly, smiling insurance man.
187
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,675
Beat it or I'll put the dog on you.
188
00:14:23,281 --> 00:14:25,556
I think I've got my sights on your problem.
189
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:28,813
If something happened to you,
what would become of your loved ones?
190
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,469
Those creeps?
191
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,841
Now, Plan A gives you the maximum
coverage with the minimum expense.
192
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,516
Will you stop bothering me?
193
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:41,105
It contains total disability,
hospitalization, funeral expenses,
194
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:45,931
multiple casualties, plus a tax deduction
and an easy payment plan.
195
00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:50,544
By george, Fester,
that's an attractive policy.
196
00:14:50,763 --> 00:14:52,196
I think I'll take it myself.
197
00:14:55,434 --> 00:14:58,904
There we are. Congratulations, old boy.
You broke the ice.
198
00:14:59,145 --> 00:15:02,820
You've just made a million-dollar sale,
plus a lovely sales commission.
199
00:15:03,316 --> 00:15:05,352
- I did?
- Yep. There it is.
200
00:15:05,526 --> 00:15:08,484
Signed, sealed and delivered.
201
00:15:09,112 --> 00:15:11,626
I told you I'd be a success.
202
00:15:15,952 --> 00:15:19,388
A million-dollar policy to Gomez Addams.
203
00:15:19,621 --> 00:15:22,260
- He was a pushover.
- You imbecile.
204
00:15:22,624 --> 00:15:24,216
Don't panic.
205
00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:28,304
I've never seen a policy yet that Arthur J.
Henson couldn't wiggle out of.
206
00:15:28,546 --> 00:15:30,616
In the first place,
that contract is worthless
207
00:15:30,798 --> 00:15:34,268
until it has been notarized
in the presence of two witnesses.
208
00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:37,524
Like it said in the sales kit,
that's the first thing I had done.
209
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:43,336
Look on the bright side, Arthur.
It's a whopping premium.
210
00:15:43,559 --> 00:15:47,074
Premium. Premium.
211
00:15:47,312 --> 00:15:50,463
That's it! Don't accept the check.
Tear it up, burn it.
212
00:15:54,193 --> 00:15:56,070
Paid in full. Cash.
213
00:16:00,657 --> 00:16:02,249
Solid gold doubloons.
214
00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:07,016
Well, if everything's under control,
I'll get cracking again.
215
00:16:10,666 --> 00:16:12,577
Out! Out! Out!
216
00:16:13,710 --> 00:16:14,984
Gotcha, AJ.
217
00:16:16,838 --> 00:16:18,476
There now, Lurch.
218
00:16:18,631 --> 00:16:22,021
You see what a bit of poison ivy
can do for a cannon?
219
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:25,740
Very cheerful.
220
00:16:26,221 --> 00:16:31,011
As long as Uncle Fester paid for it himself,
I'd like to make it look as nice as possible.
221
00:16:33,894 --> 00:16:35,850
Lurch. Attendez.
222
00:16:48,699 --> 00:16:51,167
I've come to save you some money,
Mr. Addams.
223
00:16:51,368 --> 00:16:54,246
No. I'm the butler.
224
00:16:54,829 --> 00:16:56,740
Follow me.
225
00:17:03,003 --> 00:17:07,474
I'm Arthur J. Henson,
President of the Arthur J. Henson Agency.
226
00:17:11,802 --> 00:17:15,351
- Dear lady. You must be Mrs. Addams.
- Yes.
227
00:17:15,597 --> 00:17:18,634
I'm Arthur J. Henson. This is Beesley.
228
00:17:18,850 --> 00:17:22,445
- Charmed. Won't you be seated?
- Oh, thank you.
229
00:17:27,816 --> 00:17:30,649
She seems okay. You can stop worrying.
230
00:17:32,195 --> 00:17:35,551
Mrs. Addams,
we'd like to talk to your husband.
231
00:17:36,031 --> 00:17:39,865
Oh, I'm sorry, he's out jumping.
If you'd care to wait?
232
00:17:40,118 --> 00:17:41,915
- Jumping?
- Yes.
233
00:17:42,078 --> 00:17:43,875
From about 20,000 feet.
234
00:17:45,456 --> 00:17:48,095
But he still has his parachute.
235
00:17:48,292 --> 00:17:49,725
Still?
236
00:17:50,210 --> 00:17:53,247
Yes. You see, he has this theory.
237
00:17:53,505 --> 00:17:55,780
I'm not quite sure that I understand it.
238
00:17:55,965 --> 00:17:59,162
But he hopes
to prove that if a jumper jumps
239
00:17:59,385 --> 00:18:04,140
using a smaller chute each time,
eventually he'll need no chute at all.
240
00:18:05,265 --> 00:18:06,937
Well, how far along is he?
241
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:10,410
He said he'd have it figured out one way
or another by the end of this week.
242
00:18:11,812 --> 00:18:14,884
- Can I start worrying now?
- Worry. Worry.
243
00:18:19,235 --> 00:18:22,352
Just a pinch more sulfur, children.
244
00:18:23,572 --> 00:18:26,644
High explosives are a tradition
in the Addams family.
245
00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:29,229
But only here in the house, of course.
246
00:18:29,494 --> 00:18:31,724
My husband frets so about the children.
247
00:18:31,913 --> 00:18:34,029
Wouldn't dream of taking them on safari.
248
00:18:34,207 --> 00:18:38,325
Safari? Africa? Lions, tigers, crocodiles?
249
00:18:38,586 --> 00:18:41,100
Oh, nothing so adventurous.
250
00:18:41,296 --> 00:18:45,175
He just takes them to India
and they poke around looking for cobras.
251
00:18:53,056 --> 00:18:54,808
You rang?
252
00:18:54,975 --> 00:18:56,169
Teatime, Lurch.
253
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:59,630
You gentleman will stay, of course?
254
00:18:59,812 --> 00:19:02,531
We have something extra special today.
255
00:19:02,731 --> 00:19:05,643
Scorpion p�t� on fresh toadstools
256
00:19:05,859 --> 00:19:08,931
with just gobs of divine belladonna sauce.
257
00:19:09,863 --> 00:19:11,501
Mama's secret mix.
258
00:19:13,366 --> 00:19:17,882
Surely you're not going to serve that
to our client, I mean, your husband?
259
00:19:18,161 --> 00:19:20,152
Oh, I suppose I do baby him.
260
00:19:23,583 --> 00:19:24,811
I'm back.
261
00:19:26,919 --> 00:19:29,035
- How did it go, dear?
- Oh, marvelously.
262
00:19:29,213 --> 00:19:31,283
All except the last two feet,
and they were impossible.
263
00:19:32,966 --> 00:19:37,357
Dear, this is Mr. Henson and Mr. Beesley
from the insurance company.
264
00:19:37,637 --> 00:19:38,911
How do you do?
265
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,966
- Good to see you, old boy.
- Yes.
266
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:46,292
Mr. Addams,
I'm going to let you off the hook.
267
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:50,432
Out of the kindness of my heart
I am willing to cancel your policy.
268
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,328
Refund his premium.
269
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:55,361
Dear, I thought we'd seen the last
of those dust collectors.
270
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,686
Wait a minute.
Did you say cancel the policy? But why?
271
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,559
Well, because the policy
doesn't make sense.
272
00:20:04,452 --> 00:20:05,771
Things like this.
273
00:20:05,911 --> 00:20:10,348
"Double indemnity for flogging
by carnivorous plant. Gunpowder burns.
274
00:20:10,624 --> 00:20:13,502
"Being bitten by an enraged rug."
275
00:20:13,835 --> 00:20:15,871
Good old Fester.
He gave me complete coverage.
276
00:20:16,045 --> 00:20:17,444
Yes, darling.
277
00:20:17,588 --> 00:20:20,819
It's very sweet of you gentlemen
to be worried about us, but...
278
00:20:21,049 --> 00:20:23,722
Would you excuse us a moment? Darling.
279
00:20:26,054 --> 00:20:28,807
Darling,
you simply can't cancel that policy.
280
00:20:29,015 --> 00:20:31,529
Think of Uncle Fester. He'd be crushed.
281
00:20:33,477 --> 00:20:35,195
You're right, querida.
282
00:20:38,815 --> 00:20:41,568
Henson, I've changed my mind.
283
00:20:42,151 --> 00:20:45,143
- I want to double that policy.
- No! No! No!
284
00:20:45,362 --> 00:20:48,195
In the first place, the addlepated nitwit
who sold you the policy
285
00:20:48,406 --> 00:20:49,555
doesn't even represent us.
286
00:20:49,699 --> 00:20:53,214
Frankly, I don't know how you could have
been taken in by such a moronic goofball.
287
00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:54,851
Well, here I am.
288
00:20:56,330 --> 00:21:00,005
Hello, HB. AJ. MA. GA.
289
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:01,888
Hello, Uncle Fester.
290
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:04,273
Uncle Fester?
291
00:21:04,879 --> 00:21:06,198
Splendid news.
292
00:21:06,339 --> 00:21:09,217
You've just sold
another million-dollar policy.
293
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,836
I did?
294
00:21:12,385 --> 00:21:16,298
By golly, you were right.
I didn't need that sales kit after all.
295
00:21:16,848 --> 00:21:20,477
Well, I'm gonna go up to my room.
Got to unwind.
296
00:21:20,726 --> 00:21:21,841
Go, go, go!
297
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:30,538
Perfect, children!
298
00:21:31,110 --> 00:21:33,544
Well, I'm not gonna take this lying down.
299
00:21:41,619 --> 00:21:44,179
Excelso? Henson.
300
00:21:44,497 --> 00:21:47,091
Put me on the hot line. This is a red alert.
301
00:21:49,126 --> 00:21:50,445
Hello, Chief?
302
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:54,464
I want to report a big swindle.
Two million dollars.
303
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:58,850
Addams, Gomez.
304
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,797
That's right. Two D's. How did you know?
305
00:22:04,139 --> 00:22:05,492
He is?
306
00:22:05,974 --> 00:22:07,453
He does?
307
00:22:08,142 --> 00:22:09,780
We do?
308
00:22:10,060 --> 00:22:11,254
You are?
309
00:22:11,812 --> 00:22:13,484
I am?
310
00:22:14,481 --> 00:22:15,994
I see.
311
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,798
Addams here.
312
00:22:27,492 --> 00:22:28,641
I do?
313
00:22:29,953 --> 00:22:31,272
I am?
314
00:22:32,497 --> 00:22:33,646
I can?
315
00:22:34,999 --> 00:22:36,432
I will.
316
00:22:41,838 --> 00:22:43,317
It completely slipped my mind
317
00:22:43,464 --> 00:22:45,853
that I own controlling interests
in Excelso Corporation.
318
00:22:46,050 --> 00:22:48,245
The president, what's his name,
319
00:22:48,427 --> 00:22:51,817
just urged me to take a more active
interest and make a few decisions.
320
00:22:52,055 --> 00:22:54,888
- Darling, why don't you?
- Very well.
321
00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:59,202
Beesley, I like the cut of your jib.
322
00:22:59,395 --> 00:23:02,387
You recognized Uncle Fester's ability,
and that means something to me.
323
00:23:02,606 --> 00:23:04,801
From now on you're my number one boy.
324
00:23:06,735 --> 00:23:09,886
Henson, you'll render all possible
assistance to your new boss.
325
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:17,168
Thank you, Lurch.
326
00:23:17,911 --> 00:23:19,663
Tea, gentlemen?
327
00:23:19,829 --> 00:23:22,980
I'm afraid not, Mrs. Addams.
It's been delightful.
328
00:23:23,249 --> 00:23:25,444
Come on, Henson. Get cracking.
329
00:23:30,380 --> 00:23:33,417
Darling,
I think you made the right decision.
330
00:23:33,633 --> 00:23:36,545
The best since I put Winthrop in charge
of Addams Motors.
331
00:23:36,761 --> 00:23:41,073
Remember? He took a failing company and
in three months ran it into bankruptcy.
332
00:23:42,766 --> 00:23:45,644
Dear, you could have done it in one month.
333
00:23:58,112 --> 00:23:59,545
Oh, Fester.
334
00:23:59,906 --> 00:24:03,660
How would you like to be vice-president
or chairman of the board or something?
335
00:24:04,743 --> 00:24:06,893
There's no challenge anymore.
336
00:24:07,079 --> 00:24:11,277
I'm just gonna retire
and play with my cannon. Watch this.
337
00:24:24,427 --> 00:24:26,941
Oh, dear, quick. Call the insurance man.
338
00:24:27,138 --> 00:24:30,448
Oh, no. I'm through paying
these ridiculous claims.
339
00:24:30,682 --> 00:24:33,276
Fester, you're paying for this one yourself.
340
00:24:33,476 --> 00:24:36,866
Gladly. I have a brand new personal policy.
341
00:24:37,105 --> 00:24:39,903
- Oh? On what company?
- Yours.
342
00:24:43,777 --> 00:24:45,369
Foiled again.
343
00:24:46,369 --> 00:24:56,369
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