All language subtitles for Don Jon.1080p.BlueRay.YIFY.en

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu Download
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,771 Yo, not gonna lie. 2 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,002 - This sound... 3 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,845 gets me hard as a fucking rock. 4 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,761 But I don't like to go too fast right off the bat. 5 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:23,245 I'd rather work my way into it, nice and easy. 6 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,368 So I'll start off with some stills. 7 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,129 Then, once I'm getting into it, 8 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,964 I start looking for a video. 9 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:40,247 I never actually touch my cock till I find the right clip. 10 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,164 Then, once I do... 11 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,129 ...goodbye 12 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:48,402 For the next few minutes, all the bullshit fades away, 13 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,730 and the only thing in the world is those tits... 14 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:54,450 ...that ass... 15 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,561 ...the blowjob, the cowboy, 16 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,281 the doggy, the moneyshot, and that's it. I don't gotta say anything, 17 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:06,924 I don't gotta do anything. I just fucking lose myself. 18 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,287 There's only a few things I really care about in life. 19 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,486 My body... 20 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,486 ...my pad... 21 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,731 ...my ride... 22 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,690 ...my family... 23 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:25,887 Amen. 24 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,121 ...my church... 25 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,963 - ...my boys... 26 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,247 ...my girls... 27 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,683 ...and my porn. 28 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,405 I know that last one sounds weird, but I'm just being honest. 29 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,769 Nothing else does it for me the same way. Not even real pussy. 30 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,207 And, yo, I get plenty of that. 31 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,408 Why you think my boys call me The Don? 32 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,087 - Jonny-Boy! - Don Jon, what's good, baby? 33 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,241 - What up? - You good? 34 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,970 - I'm all right. - Jonny, look at me. 35 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,849 - Everything good with you? - What's the matter with this guy? 36 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,287 - Come here, you animal! - Get the fuck off of me! 37 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,011 Real talk, real talk. Purple. 38 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,401 - That's not bad. - It's better than "not bad." 39 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,682 - You ain't see her turn around. - You calling her a seven? 40 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,649 - An eight. At least an eight. - That is not an eight. 41 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,610 She's cute in the face, you can maybe call the face an eight, tits are a four. 42 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,401 Yeah, but the butt, man, it's exceptional. I'm telling you. It changes everything. 43 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,164 - Shit! - What? 44 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,886 - Sequins. Don't look. Don't look. - What? Who is that? 45 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,202 - You don't remember her? - She's coming over here. 46 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,761 'Cause you're staring right at her. 47 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,724 - Look who the fuck it is. - How you doing? 48 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:34,327 - Why didn't you call me back? - Come on. You're a grown woman. 49 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,608 Did you think I was gonna call you back? 50 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,446 You're pathetic, you know that? Every week you got a new bitch. 51 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,247 Then Why'd you come home with me? 52 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,161 Fuck you! 53 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,005 - Eight. - No, that might be a nine. 54 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,162 - You shitting me? That's a seven. - You're out of your fucking mind! 55 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,721 I gave you the eight, your record's intact. Chill out. 56 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,609 You heard what she said? Everyone knows about the streak. 57 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,127 - You're sick. You know that? - I don't know what's wrong with me. 58 00:04:58,280 --> 00:04:59,884 - Oh, my... damn! - What? What? Where? 59 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,123 - Red. - Holy shit! That's a dime. 60 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,926 - That is a dime. - Nah, she's hot, but it's not a dime. 61 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,845 I don't even mess with blondes like that, but that there is a dime! 62 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,843 - Fuck yeah. - I don't know, there might be 63 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,809 - some lasagna up in there. - I don't think so. 64 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,287 Definitely not. She keep her shit tight, you can tell. 65 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,681 - No. I don't know. - See, he likes that skinny shit. 66 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:20,844 He likes that skinny, high-fashion, looks-like-a-boy shit. 67 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,126 - Fuck you! - Admit it! 68 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,602 - He's kind of right, man, you do. - I don't like more than a handful of titty. 69 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:30,328 No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I love it, but more than that, it's like no! 70 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,562 Shit starts to remind me of my mom or something. 71 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,326 - Jesus Christ. - Your mom do got some big-ass titties. 72 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,488 - Don't talk about my mother. - You brought up your mother. 73 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,927 If you don't like that, there's something wrong with you. 74 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,242 I didn't say I didn't like it. I said it's not a dime. 75 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,841 - That's incorrect. - She's taller than you anyway. 76 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,002 - Fuck you, Jonny. - I'm playing, come on. 77 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,441 You gonna get that? 78 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,326 Let me get a vodka-cranberry. 79 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,329 Jonny! - Sammy-boy, how you doing? 80 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,006 - You good? - Let me get a Grey Goose and soda. 81 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,760 - What makes you think you could do that? - Do what? 82 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,048 - Get the fuck out of here. - You wanna go somewhere? 83 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,884 - Fuck you. - You wanna fuck me? 84 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,690 - Is that why you kissed me? - I didn't kiss you. 85 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,171 Yeah, you did. 86 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,290 Stop it, I mean it. Stop it. 87 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,920 Come on. Let me buy you a drink. It's early. 88 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,970 - Where you going? - I told you where I was going. 89 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,401 Come on! Wait a minute! 90 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:37,607 Shit! 91 00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,882 Yo. Headband. 92 00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:48,930 Nah, I don't know. 93 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,044 See? This is what I'm saying. 94 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,965 Real pussy's all good. But I'm sorry. 95 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,691 It's not as good as porn. 96 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,171 Tits? 97 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,165 Great. 98 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,651 Ass? 99 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,211 Great. 100 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,044 Blow-job 101 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:03,762 Sure, it's fucking fantastic in person... if she'll do it. 102 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,770 But in real life, if you wanna get head, you gotta give head. 103 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,531 Lower. Not that low! 104 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,127 I know, some guys love eating pussy, but the thing about those guys is, 105 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,611 they're fucking crazy. 106 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,725 Don't get me wrong, I like a good pussy-eating clip. 107 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:22,771 But, from down here, there's nothing good about this. 108 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:29,804 And if she does finally decide to do you the big favor... 109 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,326 ...she's in a fucking hurry. 110 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,927 Now, when it comes to the actual fucking... 111 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,924 First of all, condoms are terrible. They just are. 112 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,724 But you gotta wear one, 'cause, 113 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,601 - unlike porn, real pussy can kill you. 114 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:52,971 Second of all, missionary is the worst position in all of fucking. 115 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:56,442 The tits lie flat, you can't see her ass, 116 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,007 you can't touch her ass, 'cause she's lying on her back. 117 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,290 They won't let you do it from behind, 'cause they wanna look at you. 118 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,731 And basically it's on me to do all the work. 119 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,248 Moneyshot? No. There is no real-life moneyshot. 120 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,808 Real girls won't do that shit. You just gotta cum into the fucking condom. 121 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,923 So, you tell me, which looks better? 122 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,724 This? 123 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:32,730 Or this? 124 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,686 Jesus! What are you fucking retarded?! You're fucking retarded! 125 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:24,687 You're a retarded person and you're driving a fucking car! 126 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,571 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 127 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,485 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 128 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,483 It has been one week since my last confession. 129 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,962 - Tell me your sins. - Since last Sunday, I had sexual relations 130 00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:02,967 out of wedlock two times. I also watched pornographic videos and masturbated 17 times. 131 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,202 For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry. 132 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,931 - Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father. 133 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,606 Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, 134 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,969 and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 135 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,121 Amen. 136 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:19,120 Bullshit! Bullshit! Did you see that? That was fucking bullshit. Bad call. 137 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,164 - Jesus fucking Christ! - Jon! 138 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,608 - Fucking bullshit. Did you see that? - Nah, I didn't see it. What happened? 139 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,285 They'll do a replay. They better do a fucking replay. 140 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,250 Unless they just don't want us to see how bad that fucking call was. 141 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,209 Why don't you get the thing where you can pause... 142 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,442 - Assholes, where's the replay?! - Dad, there's a thing you can pause 143 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,284 - and rewind. - What are you talking about? 144 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,044 It's digital. You just rewind and watch it. 145 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,726 - I'm not taping this. - No, I know you're not taping it. 146 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,123 - Are you people serious, no fucking replay?! - I'm not talking about a VCR. 147 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,362 How do I know what the fuck you're talking about? 148 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:49,091 I don't know, I guess 'cause most American people have heard of TiVo. 149 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,561 Most people that pay attention to the world around them! 150 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,882 Here it is. Shut up already, finally. Shit! 151 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,761 - You seriously never heard of that? - Yes! I've heard of it, Jesus fucking... 152 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:01,970 There! Look, his foot's on the line! Look at that bullshit! 153 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,487 - Jon! All right already! - So if you've heard of it, 154 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,926 - what is it? - Did you see that? 155 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,487 - I'm asking you a question. - It's a fucking thing... 156 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,450 Wait a minute. Did you see that? I'm asking you. 157 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,489 - Did you? - Nah, I didn't see it. 158 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,369 Why not?! What the fuck's the matter with you? 159 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,241 I said look at this play, I said it right to you! 160 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,085 I ask you to do the easiest fucking thing, and you can't do it! 161 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,084 - At least I know what a fucking TiVo is. - I know what a fucking TiVo is! 162 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,890 You want a TiVo? Is that what you're saying? 163 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,008 - I would love a fucking TiVo. - Who do you love? 164 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:33,131 He loves TiVo. He sure as shit don't love football. We know that. 165 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,764 One of these days, I'm gonna sit down here and start eating, and you're gonna say, 166 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,604 - "Mom, I found her." Ma! 167 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,125 One of these days. 168 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:59,407 Holy Mary... Mother of God... 169 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,688 ...pray for us now... 170 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,848 ...and at the hour of death... 171 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,324 Amen. 172 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,921 Hail Mary... full of grace... 173 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,730 All right, I'll admit, 174 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,484 there are some downsides. 175 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,167 Like there's the times you find a great clip, with a hot chick. 176 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:26,684 And right when you're starting to cum, it shows the guy. 177 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,525 Fuck! Goddamn it! 178 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:35,810 It's no one's fault, really, but it still sucks. So... 179 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,043 Also, nowadays you got so much 180 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:43,330 to choose from, finding just the right clip can take a lot of time. 181 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,209 And my time is precious to me. 182 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,648 Yeah, I got shit to do. So... 183 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,168 And, every once in a while, 184 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:56,564 you find a clip that's so good, it's fucking depressing. 185 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,644 And you're thinking to yourself, why can't real pussy be like this? 186 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,849 You know, I smash new girls all the fucking time, 187 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,482 always an eight or better, and it's still never this good. What am I doing wrong? 188 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:13,283 Maybe it's time to try something new. So... 189 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,986 Yo, you remember that dime from last week? 190 00:14:24,012 --> 00:14:24,631 Oh, shit. 191 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,326 The blonde in the dress? She was insane, bro. You hit that? 192 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,404 No, I didn't, you fucking alcoholic, I saw you after she left. 193 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,801 - Fuck you, Jonny! - I thought you made that happen. 194 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,769 - I threw it to this other random. - Typical. 195 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,649 - Probably an eight or nine. - Six or seven. 196 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,723 Shut the fuck up! Who'd you take home, huh? 197 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:43,044 Twos and threes, baby. I'm telling you, twos and threes are some open-minded ladies. 198 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,010 - I wanna find that girl. - You get her name? 199 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,845 - Her name? - First and last name. 200 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,606 I'm looking for her name, first and last name. 201 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,728 Shit, I don't know. You know who would? 202 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,363 - Barbara Sugarman. - Sugarman? 203 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:00,851 Thanks, bro. 204 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,520 - OK, what was it again? - Barbara Sugarman. 205 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,400 - You see her anywhere? - No. 206 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,844 - Oh, shit! - That's her? 207 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,129 - That's definitely her. - Oh! Got you, bitch! 208 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,169 What you wanna say? You gotta say something. 209 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,687 - Really? - A girl that bad gets mad friend requests. 210 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,811 - Fuck! - I think it's dinner. Maybe even lunch. 211 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,042 Might have to take this girl out for coffee. 212 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,964 - Christ! - Yeah, this is the long game. 213 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,647 You're not getting that butt from Barbara Sugarman anytime in the immediate future. 214 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,325 If you had it like that, it would have went down. 215 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,926 You're right. You're totally right. Shit! 216 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,329 I know, I was about to say, the mighty Don bringing out the long game? 217 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,687 - She's a dime, but... - This girl's more than a dime. 218 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,367 Come on, son. There's no such thing, that's the point, it's a scale from one to ten. 219 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,329 - I'm saying, this girl... - Oh, my God! 220 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,565 - You in love with this girl already? - Go fuck yourself. 221 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,764 - Hi. - Can I help you? 222 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,367 - Yeah, two for lunch. - Sure. Right this way. 223 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,281 Hey. 224 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,127 - How are you? - Good. Good. How you been? 225 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:48,568 - How did you get my Facebook? - Oh. Getting right to it. 226 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,529 - Yeah. - I just looked up your name. 227 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,570 - I didn't tell you my name. - Obviously you did, 'cause I looked it up. 228 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,200 - No, I definitely did not tell you my name. - Yeah, you did. 229 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,204 - I think I would remember. - No offense, but you were pretty wasted 230 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,567 - the other night. So was I. - Can I get you some drinks? 231 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,051 - Diet Coke, please. - A Coke. 232 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,761 Coke and a Diet Coke. I'll be right back to take your order. 233 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,210 I had a few drinks the other night, 234 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,840 so I may not have remembered telling you my first name, 235 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,128 but I definitely did not tell you my last name. 236 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,169 - I'm telling you... Hey! - Don't lie to me. 237 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,210 Look, you don't know me, so I'm gonna let you off the hook this time. 238 00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:22,842 But trust me, in the future you'll be much happier if you always tell me the truth. 239 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,923 Wait, wait, wait, I'll be happier? 240 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:28,527 You don't think I could make you happy if I wanted to? 241 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,524 So how did you find out my name? 242 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,648 - I asked around. - You asked around about me? 243 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,644 - Yeah. - That's interesting. 244 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,484 - Why? - Why? What do you mean why? 245 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,927 - Why did you ask around about me? - 'Cause I wanted to. 246 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,770 - You wanted to take me to lunch? - Yeah. 247 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,446 - Don't lie. - OK, I asked around about you 248 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,921 'cause I wanna fuck your brains out. Is that what you want me to say? 249 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:53,086 - Well, at least you're being honest now. - Let me ask you a question. 250 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,449 Why did you come here, huh? Why did you say yes to me? 251 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,409 - That's a very good question. - Yeah, so? 252 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,164 You're gonna have to wait to find out. 253 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,971 - All right. I got time. - Really? You got time? 254 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,009 It seemed like you were in a big hurry the other day. 255 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,685 I can be that way when I'm shit-faced. 256 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,011 You're cute, I like you. 257 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,083 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 258 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,721 Listen, you wanna know the truth? 259 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,565 This is the truth. 260 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,644 You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. 261 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,808 You like movies? 262 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,488 I don't watch too many movies. 263 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,504 I used to watch 'em a lot when I was a little 264 00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:40,992 kid, before I could get my hands on any porn. 265 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,195 Back then, if I wanted to see a really hot 266 00:18:43,221 --> 00:18:45,150 girl, my best bet was to watch a movie. 267 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,248 - That's the one you like? - Oh, it's so great. 268 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,165 - I love these two. And you? - Yeah. They're great. 269 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,961 But now, I don't really see the point. 270 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,090 I don't know, I guess I'm missing something. 271 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,847 Because most people eat that shit up. 272 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,210 The pretty woman. 273 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,241 The pretty man. 274 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,445 Love at first sight. 275 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:20,886 The first kiss. 276 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,644 - The breakup. - I felt that! 277 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,802 - The makeup. - I'm scared. 278 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,601 The expensive wedding, and they drive off into the sunset. 279 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:33,765 Everyone knows it's fake, but they watch it like it's real fucking life. 280 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,523 She was the most important thing to him. He gave up everything for her. 281 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,160 It was just meant to be. 282 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,369 - I love movies like that. - Yeah, it was great. 283 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,809 He's just such a real man. And she's so beautiful too, always. 284 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,480 - Her? No, she's too skinny. - Yeah. 285 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,450 - What? - You wanna know who's beautiful? 286 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:19,810 - What makes you think you could do that? - Do what? 287 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,486 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. 288 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,246 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 289 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,363 It has been one week since my last confession. 290 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,490 - Tell me your sins. - Since last Sunday I did not have 291 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,927 sexual relations out of wedlock. 292 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:12,682 I did kiss a girl, this one girl, out of wedlock, several times, 293 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:18,051 but it's just kissing. I don't know, I forget if that counts, so... 294 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,329 Also, I watched pornographic videos and masturbated 22 times. 295 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,801 For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry. 296 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,406 - Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father. 297 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,131 Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, 298 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,931 and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, of the Son 299 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,969 - and the Holy Spirit. - Amen. 300 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:01,682 Introducing the charbroiled, not fried, codfish sandwich, 301 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,008 only at Carl's Jr. and Hardee's. 302 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,445 More than just a piece of meat. 303 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:29,490 Oh, go! Jesus. It's a yellow light! Fuck you! 304 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,403 Our Father... Who art in heaven... 305 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,291 ...hallowed be Thy name... Thy Kingdom come... 306 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,044 ...Thy will be done... 307 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,361 ...on earth... 308 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:49,081 as it is in heaven... 309 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,364 - No. - No... What? 310 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,608 - Not out here. - So let's go inside. 311 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:58,761 Mm-mm. 312 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,048 - Why not? - It's not time for that yet. 313 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,931 - You sure? - Yeah. We barely know each other. 314 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:09,041 Yeah, we do, pretty much. 315 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,210 - I don't know your friends. - My friends? 316 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:14,010 Mmm... 317 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:17,249 - I wanna meet your friends. - Those guys are assholes. 318 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,890 - Yeah? - Yeah. 319 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,481 And you don't know my friends. 320 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,370 - Or our families. - Wait, our families? 321 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:29,127 Yeah. I wanna meet your parents and your sister. 322 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,681 - Oh, Jesus! - What? You don't wanna meet my brothers 323 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,890 - and my sister? - Uh... 324 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:40,921 - 'Cause I know they wanna meet you. - Yeah... I bet they do. 325 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:43,048 Mmm... 326 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:50,444 Mm-hm. 327 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:51,601 - Jon. - Yeah? 328 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,526 - I can't let you come inside just yet. - No? 329 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:59,127 No, 'cause I don't know what that would mean. You know? 330 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,363 I don't want to do anything unless it means something. 331 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,521 Uh-huh... 332 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,480 Mm... Don't you think it's always better when it means something? 333 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,404 - Yeah. - Mm... 334 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,537 I think you should go back to school, baby. 335 00:24:12,563 --> 00:24:13,306 What? 336 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,889 - Yeah, come on. Just a night class. - Oh, my God! 337 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,168 - Just get your degree. - Oh! 338 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,324 - You would be so sexy with a real job. - Mm! 339 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,444 Mm-hm! Yeah... 340 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,286 So, what do you say? You, me and our friends, we go out sometime? 341 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,762 - Oh, yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? And our families meet, huh? 342 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:34,921 - Oh! - Yeah? 343 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,525 - Yeah. - Mm... 344 00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,729 And you take one night class for me, baby? One little class? 345 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,928 - Oh! Oh! - Huh? Yeah? Yeah? 346 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:45,522 - Yeah! Oh! - Come on, baby, cum... cum... 347 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:49,844 Mm-hm! Uh-huh. 348 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,166 - Nice. - Oh, Jesus... 349 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,970 Yeah. 350 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,761 You're so cute. 351 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:15,884 Call me. 352 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,047 - Baby! - Baby, what? 353 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,565 - Baby. - Baby... 354 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,961 - You guys having a good time? - You bitch, I don't wanna hear it. 355 00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,202 - Jesus Christ. - A toast. Let's make a toast. 356 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:02,250 Everyone listen up. You get up too. This is for you. Come on. Get up. 357 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:03,561 - Oh, God. - All right. 358 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:08,169 You guys know tonight is me and this girl's one-month anniversary. 359 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,130 I'm counting that from the first time I ever saw her, 'cause ever since then, 360 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:15,330 I've felt the same way. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. 361 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,403 - To you, baby. - No, to us. 362 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,005 To us. 363 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,640 - Mwah. Cheers. - Cheers! 364 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,450 God bless. 365 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,001 - So, what's he do? - He's in school. 366 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,401 - Oh, the family's got money? - No, he's got a job. 367 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:30,607 - Retail? - No. 368 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:31,761 - Service? - Yeah. 369 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,888 He's definitely been spending time at the gym. 370 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,442 - Right? I know. He is so disciplined. - You guys work out together? 371 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,604 - Mm-mm. No. - Does he do that muscle guy thing 372 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,684 where he's, like, looking at himself while you're doing it? 373 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,128 - Oh. We haven't done it yet. - Shit, really? 374 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:51,285 - Oh, my God. That's so amazing! - All right. I like him. 375 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,647 Goddamn! White shorts. 376 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,007 - Nah. - What? Come on, that's a dime! 377 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,686 - That's not a dime. - I'm sorry, but I'd rather do that 378 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,320 - than do yours. - You faggot motherfucker! 379 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,529 - I can like any girl I wanna like. - But she's not hotter than my girl. 380 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,570 - To you, maybe not, but to me... - Look at that. Sorry, buddy. 381 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,963 - Fuck you, Jonny! - That's the way... 382 00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:16,645 Hi. 383 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,441 Shit! 384 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,364 So, uh... 385 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,726 I'm sort of seeing this girl. 386 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:43,167 - What did you say? - What do you mean, what did I say? 387 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:44,845 - Did you say...? - She asked you what you said. 388 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,968 What's the matter with that? I couldn't understand you, either. 389 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:48,804 Speak up and talk like a human being. 390 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,405 - Shush. - What's your problem? 391 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,921 - Jon. Did you say you found her? - What? 392 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:56,607 - Well, I said I'm sort of... - Oh, my God! What's her name? 393 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,730 - Barbara. - Barbara! Barbara what? 394 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,042 - Here we go... - Shh! Barbara what? 395 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,244 - Barbara Sugarman. - Sugarman? 396 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,482 - She a Jew? - I don't think so. 397 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,768 - You don't know? - We haven't really talked... 398 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,729 She's not Italian, we know that. 399 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:13,803 - Sugarman. She black? - No. 400 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,490 What does she look like? 401 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,881 She's the most beautiful thing I've seen in my life. 402 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,884 - Oh, boy. - Baby! Oh! 403 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,247 That's the sweetest thing I ever heard anybody say. 404 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,609 - And does she love you? - Wait a minute. Love him? You kidding? 405 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:28,922 - Jon, shush! - They're kids, for Christ's sake! 406 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,526 - So what? - You know what? Don't call me a kid. 407 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,170 We talked about this, I don't appreciate it. 408 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,641 - Excuse me. - Dad, I'm asking you nicely. 409 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:37,723 To not call you a kid? You're a fucking kid. 410 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,211 - Jon! - Fuck You! 411 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:43,200 - Fuck me? Did you just say fuck me to me? - Jon! 412 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,523 He said they're in love, they're in love. It doesn't matter how old they are. 413 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,604 He's older than you were when we got married. 414 00:28:49,630 --> 00:28:52,553 You know that? For God's sake, he's your son! 415 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,851 You love this girl? 416 00:28:58,120 --> 00:28:59,610 Yes, I do. 417 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,246 Then when do we get to meet her? 418 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,210 Oh! 419 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:07,771 All right, Mom, OK. 420 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,844 oh! 421 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,688 Bella? Sweetheart, come over here. 422 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:22,161 Come on, let me fix your lipstick. Here we go. 423 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:24,925 - You look so beautiful. - Thank you. 424 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:28,129 - Can I get you a refill, Mrs. Sugarman? - You don't have to do that. 425 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:29,884 - No, it's my pleasure. - Jon. 426 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,128 - Thank you. - Jon, you meet Daryl? 427 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,328 - Oh, wow. - You wanna hold him? 428 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,529 - I don't know... - Come here. 429 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,206 - Here you go, babe. - OK. 430 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:44,445 - All right. Is that good? Is that right? - Yeah. 431 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,568 You look so cute, the two of you. 432 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,165 Barbara! 433 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,130 - How long have we been up here for? - Not long. 434 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:05,002 Well, I gotta go, we gotta go. Come on, let's go. Come on. Come on. 435 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,684 Close the door. 436 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:13,241 OK. Let's take a break and when we get back we'll go over the course syllabus. 437 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,121 - Hey. - Baby! How is it? 438 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,328 - It's great. - Yeah? You're on break? 439 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,729 - Yeah. How did you know? - Your schedule's online. 440 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,850 - Baby, I'm just so proud of you. - Thanks. 441 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,365 - Baby? - Yeah? 442 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,966 Can I come over when you're done? 443 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,122 - You wanna come to my place? - Mm-hm. 444 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,288 - What, tonight? - Yeah. 445 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,010 OK, great. 446 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,568 - You get back to class, sexy man. - All right. 447 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,291 - Bye, baby. - OK, bye. 448 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:13,125 Jesus fucking Christ! 449 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,771 - Excuse me. Sorry. - Oh, fuck, I'm sorry. 450 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,649 It's fine. It's fine. 451 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,522 - Hi, baby. - Hey. 452 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,844 - It's OK. I'll be right back. - Baby... 453 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,167 I'm in love with Barbara. I am. 454 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,687 And tonight, I finally got to fuck her. 455 00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:31,249 But I'm sorry to say, it's still not as good as porn. 456 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:32,640 Tits? 457 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,928 Best ever. 458 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,411 Ass? 459 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,528 Best ever. 460 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,045 Blow-job? 461 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:56,441 Shit. Good luck. A girl that hot? She doesn't have to give head. 462 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:05,204 For her, she just wants to go from kissing, to naked kissing, to fucking. 463 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,842 Or, you know, making love. 464 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,685 And when I say "making love," I mean... 465 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,201 ...missionary fucking. 466 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,931 No doggie. No cowboy. 467 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,203 - What the fuck are you doing? - Baby! 468 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,567 - What the fuck are you doing? - I was reading e-mails. 469 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,291 - You weren't. You were watching porno! - That's not what that was. 470 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:25,720 - I saw you! - But, baby... 471 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,928 Don't call me that. Oh, my God! That's the most disgusting thing 472 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,606 - I've ever seen in my life! - Wait, don't go right now, please! 473 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,683 I don't even know what that is. That's sick... 474 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,207 - But, baby, I'm telling you... - Don't call me that! 475 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,045 But I'm telling you, that thing I was watching was just a joke! 476 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,767 Some dumb-ass buddy of mine sent it to me as a joke. Come on! 477 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:45,208 You think I'm the kind of guy that watches porn? 478 00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,170 No, you didn't seem like that type. 479 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,324 Right. 'Cause fucking losers watch porn, guys that can't get laid. 480 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,927 Well, no. My friends' boyfriends are watching porno on the Internet all the time, 481 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,242 - it's fucking disgusting. - It's stupid is what that is. 482 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,643 Why would they watch porn when they can get with a real girl? 483 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,929 - So you don't do that normally? - No. 484 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,128 When was the last time you did that before this? 485 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,284 I don't even know. When I was a kid or something. 486 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,369 You're never gonna do it again? 487 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:15,320 No. Why would I? 488 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,006 - Promise? - I promise. 489 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,043 Baby... 490 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:23,600 I love you. 491 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,168 Come here. 492 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,527 It's not that I can't stop. I just figure, why should I? 493 00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:21,127 I mean, my girlfriend doesn't like it. So she doesn't have to know about it. 494 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:25,126 It's not like I'm cheating on her. I don't do it when she's around. 495 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,171 And everything's fine. 496 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:38,881 She has been spending a lot of time at my place, though. So I looked into it. 497 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:43,284 And it's pretty amazing how easy it is to get porn on-the-go these days. 498 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,922 So... 499 00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:59,280 Excuse me? Sorry, were you on your phone? 500 00:35:59,306 --> 00:36:00,065 No. 501 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,362 - I'm Esther. - Good to meet you. 502 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,522 - What's your name? - Jon. 503 00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:06,643 - I hope I'm not bothering you. - No, it's fine. 504 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,326 I just wanted to apologize. I don't know if you remember, 505 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,649 you caught me in a kind of an inopportune moment last week. 506 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:16,441 - When I was sobbing by the door? - Oh! Yeah, sorry, I'm sorry about that. 507 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,002 Please, don't. Please, don't you apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. 508 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,004 - I felt like I should say something. - OK. Well... 509 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,886 Because I've been thinking about it, a lot actually, and I realized that, 510 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,801 you know, nobody's seen me like that in, like, six months, 511 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,731 - and it's not like it's a rare... - Good evening, everyone. 512 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:37,606 ...a rare occurrence, I mean, I do that all the time, 513 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:42,243 I'm crying all the time. It's just something that I do in private now. 514 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,370 On the one hand, you go there when you go there. 515 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,490 On the other hand, it's really fucked up to keep it hidden, right? 516 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,411 That's what became clear to me when you startled me. 517 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,206 You didn't, you didn't mean to startle me, you walked by, 518 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,762 but I just... so I wanted to say thank you. 519 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:01,527 Were you... I'm sorry, this might be rude, 520 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,489 but were you watching people fucking on your phone? 521 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,530 - What? No! - It's OK if you were. I'm not judging you. 522 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,684 - Lady, I'm just here to take this class. - Did you just call me "lady"? 523 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,525 So you take care. 524 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,569 Oh, yeah. Sorry. Say no more. 525 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,446 - I'm sorry. - No, it's fine. 526 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:39,010 What, are you fucking kidding me?! You're fucking kidding me, right?! 527 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,764 - Baby! - What? 528 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,930 I feel like I should leave my jacket in the car. Maybe not. Should I bring it? 529 00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,481 - Yeah, whatever you want. - Oh... 530 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,961 - I'm nervous. That's all. - Why you nervous? 531 00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:03,531 - I don't know... - You got nothing to be nervous about. 532 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:06,570 You look beautiful. God, you look beautiful. 533 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,161 Oh. 534 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,209 - Are you ready? Go ahead. - Yeah. All right. 535 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,405 - Hi, Mom. - Hi. 536 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,161 Oh, hello, hello! You must be Barbara. 537 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,848 - Hi, Mrs. Martello. Here, for you. - Thank you, and please call me Angie. 538 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:28,689 Come in, come in. Jon! Jonny's here! Come say hello to your son! 539 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,730 - Please. - Let me get by you there, babe. 540 00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:36,568 Dad? I would like you to meet Barbara. Baby, this is my dad. 541 00:38:36,720 --> 00:38:39,485 - Hi, Mr. Martello. - Hey, good to meet you. 542 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,246 - Jesus Christ! - Jon! 543 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,688 Oh, I... I wasn't expecting such a lovely lady, that's all. 544 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,690 Thank you. It's so nice to finally meet you both. 545 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:50,888 My pleasure, my pleasure. 546 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,362 Well, please sit down and I will be right back. 547 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:58,201 - Can I help you with anything at all? - Oh! I love her already. 548 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:01,967 - Yes, please, sweetie, come on. - You want me to take that, babe? 549 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,126 - Hey, hey, Jonny-boy! - She's cute, right? 550 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,322 Are you fucking kidding me? You didn't tell me you were bringing home 551 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,723 - a piece of ass like that! - I told you she was the most beautiful thing 552 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,690 - I've ever seen in my life. - Yeah, you told me, but I mean, 553 00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:16,683 Jesus Christ, those tits! They're real? 554 00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:20,447 - Yeah, they're real. - Oh! Fuck me! 555 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:24,241 - Did you clear the table? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, here, honey. 556 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,483 Let me move this here, so you can put that right there. 557 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,962 - Right here? - Right there. That's perfect. 558 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,883 So tell me. Tell me, how did it go? 559 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,884 I was out with some girlfriends. We went to see some band. 560 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,008 Back then you used to see bands when you went out. 561 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:45,642 - Honey, what band was it? - You think I remember? 562 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,849 It was 28 years ago, and I didn't even give a shit then. 563 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,082 Anyway, I saw him early in the night, 564 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,250 I don't know if he saw me till later, but I saw him. 565 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,131 And I saw her, you couldn't miss her. 566 00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:00,284 - She was like you. - Thank you. 567 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,761 - You know what I said? - Listen to this. 568 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:07,602 I said right then, right when I saw her, I said... 569 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,370 ..."That's mine." 570 00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:13,241 - Oh, God. - Yup. And he was right. 571 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,129 Can you... Well, that's beautiful. 572 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:18,523 - Oh! Big play! Look at that! - OK, Jon. 573 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,887 - All right, Dad. - All right, yeah. 574 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,647 - Good job, big guy. - Sweetie, so nice to meet you. 575 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,361 - Bye, Mr. Martello. - Please call me Jon. 576 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,965 OK, Mom. 577 00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:32,251 - All right, babe? - Oh! Bye. 578 00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:33,401 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 579 00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,881 - Bye-bye. - Drive safe. 580 00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:41,607 - I love her! I love her! - Pretty good, huh? Not bad at all. 581 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,571 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. 582 00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:04,371 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 583 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:06,210 It has been one week since my last confession. 584 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:07,401 Tell me your sins. 585 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:12,088 Since last Sunday, I had sexual intercourse out of wedlock seven times. 586 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,762 But... I stopped watching porn. 587 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,925 Yeah, no more of that, just the intercourse now. 588 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,690 So... 589 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,969 For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry. 590 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,010 - Five Lord's Prayers and five Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father. 591 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,891 Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, 592 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,611 and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, of the Son 593 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,848 - and the Holy Spirit. - Amen. 594 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:40,563 Very good. OK, when we come back, we'll go over employee personality testing. 595 00:41:40,720 --> 00:41:42,802 Go ahead, take a break. 596 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,209 - Hi. Mind if I sit down? - You know, actually, I... 597 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,004 - I brought you something. - You what? 598 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:52,491 - What's that? - Open it. 599 00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:54,802 - I don't want to take that from you. - No, no, open it. 600 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,281 It's something silly. It's a little thing. Go ahead. 601 00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,124 All right. I'll open it. 602 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,401 - What the fuck is this? - It's actually pretty good. 603 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:05,562 - What is the matter with you? - Have you seen it? 604 00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:07,802 - Are you crazy? - It was made by this Danish woman 605 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:12,801 in the '70s. It's probably not what you're used to looking at, but it's pretty hot. 606 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,328 OK. Look, I have a girlfriend, all right? So... 607 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:20,610 I'm sorry, did you think I was hitting on you? Because I'm not. 608 00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:21,886 Will you just take this? 609 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,850 I didn't mean for it to be a big thing. I thought you could use something better 610 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,002 than that shit you're watching on your phone. 611 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,891 Am I right? 612 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:33,010 If you have a girlfriend, why are you watching dirty movies? 613 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,640 - What? - I'm just asking. 614 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,644 - You're fucking weird, you know that? - I don't entirely disagree, 615 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,450 but you're the one who's gonna pretend you're texting 616 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,807 while you watch people pretend they're fucking on your phone! 617 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,803 The shit I watch on here, they're not pretending. 618 00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,406 Of course they are. 619 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,247 Forgive us our trespasses... 620 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:01,961 ...as we forgive those... who trespass against us... 621 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:06,967 ...and lead us not... into temptation... 622 00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:08,565 ...but deliver us from evil... 623 00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:10,290 - Baby? - Huh? 624 00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:12,687 What are you doing? You talking to yourself? 625 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,840 - Yo, Jonny, you coming out tonight? - That's dubious. 626 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,128 I'm gonna wait for Barbara to call. We're gonna meet up for dinner. 627 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:20,721 - This fucking guy. Come on! - What did you think he was gonna say? 628 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,531 I thought he still had a pair of balls hanging between his legs. 629 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,604 You sound so fucking stupid to me right now, I feel sorry for you. 630 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,524 - Fuck you. - I do. I feel sorry for you. 631 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,251 You never been in love, so you don't know what you're talking about. 632 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,448 Hold up. Wait a minute. In love? 633 00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,046 When you really love a girl, there's a lot that goes into it. 634 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,043 - You're saying you love her? - Of course I love her. 635 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,010 - I never heard you say you loved her. - You weren't paying attention. 636 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:44,050 I've been in love with this girl since the first time I saw her. 637 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,168 Why would I wanna go out and try to pull randoms? 638 00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:48,288 None of 'em are gonna look as good as my girl, 639 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:50,169 none of 'em are gonna fuck me as good as my girl. 640 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,049 - Really? - Yeah, really. 641 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,441 - So she's good? - What did I say? Yeah, she's good. 642 00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:56,489 - She's the best. - So you titty-fuck her? 643 00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,928 Bro, she lets me do whatever the fuck I want. 644 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,731 This is what I'm trying to tell you, if you would listen to me. 645 00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:06,680 I'm telling you guys something. You be a man, you do the right thing, 646 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:09,889 you find the right girl and you treat her the right way? 647 00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:13,323 Watch what happens. Best sex of your life. 648 00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:14,481 Hey, baby. 649 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,404 - Hey. - Hi. 650 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,922 - I love it when you wear this shit. - Oh, you're crazy. 651 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,089 - You good? - Yeah. You order anything yet? 652 00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:28,641 - No, I waited for you. - Sweet. 653 00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,088 - Oh, fuck! - Who's that? 654 00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:36,722 It's Linda. She's been fighting with Chris. 655 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:38,882 I don't think they're gonna work out. 656 00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:41,964 - You remember Linda and Chris, yeah? - Yeah, yeah. 657 00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:45,727 - I thought they were cute together, no? - Sure. They seemed pretty good. 658 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:49,327 She's 28 years old. She put like four years into the guy already. It's terrible. 659 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,049 - How did you get off work tonight? - I got Stevie to cover my shift. 660 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,567 - Stevie? - Yeah, he needed the hours. 661 00:44:56,720 --> 00:45:00,008 - I don't think I know Stevie, no? - No, I don't think you ever met him. 662 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:03,881 - Oh! I wish somebody would cover for me. - See? What did I tell you? 663 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,042 The service industry, it's not a bad thing. 664 00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,089 Come on, you're gonna look so good in a suit. 665 00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:10,447 - I don't know. - What? Please. 666 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:12,290 If Armando can do it, that man is such an asshole. 667 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:19,091 He treats women like they're trash, but... he makes six figures. 668 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:22,767 Well, he's got a pretty great life, no? if he could do it, you could do it. 669 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:28,847 Hey, baby. You're a winner, right? You respect people. 670 00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:31,325 You listen to people. 671 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,484 - You think so? - I know so, mister. 672 00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,445 Fucking 'caused it! Fuck! 673 00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,206 Hi, babe. 674 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,682 I don't know which ones to get. Baby, what do you think? 675 00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:53,764 That depends. You gonna drill into your wall? 676 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:55,524 I don't know. 677 00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,445 - You don't have a drill, do you? - No. 678 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,570 Nah, I didn't think so. My dad has got a pretty good one. 679 00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:04,087 If you want me, I can borrow his, I'll do it for you. 680 00:47:04,240 --> 00:47:08,086 - You gonna drill into my wall for me? - Whatever you want, babe. 681 00:47:10,720 --> 00:47:13,690 You decide what color. I'm gonna meet you at the registers. 682 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:15,968 I wanna pick up a few things in cleaning products. 683 00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:17,121 Where are you going? 684 00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:18,850 - What? - Where are you going? 685 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,002 I'm almost out of Swiffer pads. I'm gonna pick a few up. 686 00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:22,685 - What pads? - For the Swiffer. 687 00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,446 - I don't know what that is. - You don't know the Swiffer? 688 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,443 - What is that? No. - Seriously? It's the best. 689 00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,489 You gotta try it. What do you do for your floors? 690 00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:32,007 You got those nice floors at your place. What, do you mop? 691 00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:35,249 - No. - What do you do? 692 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:39,086 - I don't know. I sweep it up with a broom. - No, I mean to really clean it. 693 00:47:39,240 --> 00:47:42,687 - I don't know. The housekeeper does it. - Oh, right. 694 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,326 - Listen, I'll just be a second, OK? - No, no, no. Come here. 695 00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,563 - What? - You're not gonna go buy a mop right now. 696 00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:51,127 - It's embarrassing. - No, I told you, it's not a mop. 697 00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:52,645 - It's these pads. - I don't care. 698 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,689 You shouldn't be doing your own housework. 699 00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:56,649 - Why not? - 'Cause you're a grown man. 700 00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:00,168 - You shouldn't be cleaning your own floors. - Why? I enjoy doing it. 701 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:02,607 You know what? I'll call Rosa. She'll do your place. 702 00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:05,127 - Who? - Rosa, my cleaning lady, she's great. 703 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,851 Babe, no. Thanks, but I like doing it myself. 704 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,162 Are you kidding me? You don't got to be doing that. 705 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,330 She won't do it right anyway. You gotta vacuum my carpet a certain way, 706 00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,642 - or else it looks... - Don't talk about vacuuming in front of me. 707 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,485 - Why? What's wrong? - Why? Because it's not sexy, that's why. 708 00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:20,688 You're not listening to me. I like my place, OK? 709 00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:22,285 I'm proud of it, I like to take care of it. 710 00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,011 I don't care. We're not having this discussion right now. 711 00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:26,844 There's only a few things I really care about... 712 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,401 We're not talking about this anymore. 713 00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,481 - Fine, let's drop it. - Good. 714 00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:42,209 Those ones. 715 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,889 - You want those? - Yeah. 716 00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,002 Come here. Listen to me. 717 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,562 When we're living together, you're not... 718 00:48:53,720 --> 00:48:56,690 ...going to be doing... any cleaning. 719 00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,490 Come on. 720 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,127 Jon? Excuse me. 721 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:16,450 Look, I know you don't wanna talk to me. 722 00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:18,529 I would leave you alone, but I swear to God, 723 00:49:18,720 --> 00:49:20,722 I just fell asleep during that entire class. 724 00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:24,202 The whole fucking thing. Can I copy your notes? 725 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:27,364 I'd ask somebody else, but everyone in the class are like children. 726 00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:31,684 I'm not calling you old. It'll take like five minutes... 727 00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:33,888 - Do you mind? - Fine. 728 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,765 Thank you so much. Do you wanna go somewhere? There's a cafe... 729 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:40,400 My girlfriend's waiting at home, so... 730 00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:43,450 Oh. OK, well, then I'll... OK, I'll do this. 731 00:49:51,720 --> 00:49:55,850 I really shouldn't get so high after lunch if I'm gonna be coming here later. 732 00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:00,007 You're probably right. 733 00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,209 It is pretty boring, don't you think? 734 00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:04,805 What? 735 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,929 I said this class is pretty fucking boring. 736 00:50:07,955 --> 00:50:08,831 Oh. Yep. 737 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:11,167 Like they're teaching you to be a robot. 738 00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:17,849 - Why are you here? -Hm? 739 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:21,368 - Why did you pick this class? - I didn't. 740 00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,568 What? 741 00:50:23,720 --> 00:50:27,247 No, it seemed like a good idea. I'm in the service industry now. 742 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,687 - You mean you're a waiter? - No. 743 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,247 - Bartender? - Yeah, so, if you wanna move up, 744 00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:34,050 - you gotta go to school. - Right. 745 00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:39,570 But what do you mean you didn't pick this class? 746 00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,650 - No, I did. - Did somebody pick it for you? 747 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,201 - No! - Was it your parents or your girlfriend? 748 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,010 - What is it with you? Huh? - No, I just... 749 00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:49,322 - I was wondering... - I'm doing something polite... 750 00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:51,807 That's mine. 751 00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:54,361 OK. Sorry. 752 00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:00,811 Jesus! 753 00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:05,204 Oh, man! Oh, God! 754 00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,841 - Hey, baby. - Hi, Jon. 755 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:16,923 What's wrong? 756 00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:20,441 Remember when we first started dating? 757 00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:24,446 What's the one thing I asked? I said, "Don't lie to me." 758 00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:28,122 - All right, who's talking shit about me? - Nobody said anything. 759 00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:32,763 - You gotta help me out... - You looked at 46 porno sites today, Jon. 760 00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:35,082 - Just today. - I don't know what you're talking about. 761 00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:37,766 - Don't fucking lie to me! - I don't know who told you that! 762 00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:40,287 Nobody said anything. It's right there in your history! 763 00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,808 All you do is look at porno. That's all you fucking do! 764 00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:48,249 - Wait, wait. My what? - It's in your history. 765 00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,641 In your browser? 766 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,406 Come on, don't tell me you don't know what your history is. 767 00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:56,404 No. Of course you don't, 'cause if you did, you would have erased it, 768 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:57,971 like a good little phony. Here. 769 00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:02,523 There. Go ahead, look. Go ahead. 770 00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,291 - Baby, I... - Please, no, don't call me that. 771 00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:13,165 - I love you. - Don't ever say that to me, ever again. 772 00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:15,766 - What do you want me to say? - What do I want you to say? 773 00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:19,561 How about, "I'm sorry I've been lying to you since the first day 774 00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,051 that we started dating"? How about that? 775 00:52:21,240 --> 00:52:24,722 - I'm sorry. I am. - How about, "I'm sorry I have more sex 776 00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:26,484 with that thing than I do with my girlfriend"? 777 00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:30,042 First of all, everybody watches porn, OK? All guys. 778 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,248 Any guy tells you he doesn't is lying to you. 779 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,050 - You are so full of shit! - Second of all... 780 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:37,647 - You are full of shit! - Second of all, you know damn well 781 00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:39,922 - we do it all the fucking time! - Yeah, I know we do. 782 00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:42,447 - Whenever you want! - So what the fuck is wrong with you? 783 00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,080 What the fuck are you doing? How do you watch that shit? 784 00:52:45,240 --> 00:52:47,368 I don't know! OK? I don't know! 785 00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,291 How do you watch all the stupid fucking movies you watch? 786 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,044 How do I watch movies? What are you talking about? 787 00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,806 I'm saying, you probably watch that shit as much as I watch porn. 788 00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,644 What are you saying? That has nothing to do with anything! 789 00:52:56,800 --> 00:53:00,566 - I'm just saying... - Jon, movies and porno are different! 790 00:53:00,720 --> 00:53:03,405 - They give awards for movies! - They give awards for porn too. 791 00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:05,801 Shut up! Shut the fuck up! 792 00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:13,048 I can't believe we're talking about this. 793 00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:15,202 I'm sorry. Jesus. Look, stop it. 794 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:18,045 I don't know, I don't know what's wrong with me. 795 00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:30,645 I'm sorry, OK? I... I'm sorry. I am so sorry... 796 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,526 I really liked you, you know? 797 00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:49,123 I thought you were different. 798 00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,044 But you're not. 799 00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:17,208 So up until now, my record was ten in one day. 800 00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:21,365 And for a long time, I thought I'd never beat that. But today... 801 00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:24,330 - ...I hit 11. 802 00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:29,882 And you know, when I have great fucking days like this, 803 00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:34,568 it just reminds me how much I love being single. 804 00:54:34,720 --> 00:54:37,371 - I do what I want, when I want. 805 00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,761 I don't have to flake on my friends anymore. 806 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:43,971 I don't have to waste my time in a fucking classroom. 807 00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:48,125 It just feels good, like... like I got my own life back. 808 00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:54,329 I mean, you think I could have hit 11 when I was with Barbara? No! Definitely not. 809 00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:58,921 So... 810 00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:19,722 - Jonny-boy! - Jesus, bro, I can smell it on you already. 811 00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:22,446 - You got to catch up, baby! - You mean I got to buy your poor ass 812 00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,285 - a fucking drink? - Yo, the Don mad anxious tonight. 813 00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:27,010 - Fuck you! - Where's wife? 814 00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:29,766 - Fuck that bitch. - Oh, shit! 815 00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:31,331 - Damn, OK! - All right. 816 00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:35,769 You can't have this one, 'cause I saw her first, but check out pink. 817 00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:38,810 Yeah. She's all right. 818 00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:59,686 - Hey, fuck you, buddy! - Fuck you! 819 00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:04,323 What'd you say? Huh? What the fuck did you just say?! Hey! 820 00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:07,211 You wanna say some shit? Let's hear it, you fat fuck! What did you say?! 821 00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:12,082 - I said fuck you! - Fuck me, huh? Fuck me? 822 00:56:12,240 --> 00:56:16,370 Is that what you said?! Huh? Huh? You fuck! Ah! 823 00:56:16,560 --> 00:56:20,007 Fuck! Goddamn it! Fuck! 824 00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,687 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 825 00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:40,571 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 826 00:56:40,720 --> 00:56:42,165 It has been one week since my last confession. 827 00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,243 - Jonny, where were you? - Don't worry about it. 828 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,731 - What did you do to your...? - Mom, it's fine. 829 00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:48,730 - Shh! - Hey, hush yourself! 830 00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,366 Mom! It's fine. OK? 831 00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:52,760 Tell me your sins. 832 00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:56,606 Father, I don't know what happened, but... 833 00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,570 ...I guess I lost my temper and I... 834 00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:02,644 I punched through this guy's window on my way here right now. 835 00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:04,928 I didn't hurt anybody, but... 836 00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:08,531 Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me. 837 00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:14,047 Also, I watched pornographic videos and masturbated 35 times. 838 00:57:14,240 --> 00:57:17,608 For these and all the sins of my life, I'm sorry. 839 00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:21,287 - Twenty Lord's Prayers and 25 Hail Marys. - Thank you, Father. 840 00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:24,410 Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace. 841 00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:28,007 I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 842 00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:29,525 Amen. 843 00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:33,969 - So Barbara couldn't come tonight? - No, she had this family thing tonight. 844 00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,202 But she wanted to make it, she just couldn't. 845 00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:39,364 - She told me to say hello to you guys. - That's sweet. 846 00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:41,210 Everything good with the two of you? 847 00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:46,849 - Yeah, she's great. - She's a catch, Jonny. 848 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:49,606 Beautiful girl. 849 00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:53,924 I'm telling you, a woman like that make a boy into a man. 850 00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:56,321 I can see it on you too, it's starting. 851 00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,162 Holy Mary... 852 00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:12,685 ...Mother of God... 853 00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:16,123 ...pray for us sinners... 854 00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:19,685 ...now... 855 00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:22,804 ...and at the hour of our death. 856 00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:26,770 Amen. 857 00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:46,604 What the fuck? 858 00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:00,207 - The fuck you doing here? - Damn, really? 859 00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:02,931 - Bro, I'm busy. - Word, what you doing? 860 00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:08,000 Right. Just 'cause you don't pick up your phone don't make you busy. 861 00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:14,163 - You smashed up somebody's car? - Who told you that? 862 00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:18,684 Kerry's sister said she heard you broke through some guy's window. 863 00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:20,888 - Well, did you? - The guy was a fucking asshole. 864 00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:22,485 - What did he do? - Why you taking his side? 865 00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:24,165 - I'm not taking his side. - You are. 866 00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:27,449 Stop and think for a second. Stop and think for a second. 867 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:30,683 I don't care about that guy, I don't give a damn about his car. Fuck him. 868 00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,729 What do you think I'm doing here, man? 869 00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:35,323 - You wanna have a seat? - Bro, honestly... 870 00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:37,562 Man, sit your ass down. 871 00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:46,771 - All right, what happened with your girl? - Fuck that bitch. 872 00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,287 - You said that already. What, she drop you? - No. 873 00:59:49,480 --> 00:59:52,165 No? You drop her? After all that, she cheat on you? 874 00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:53,970 - No! - So, what happened? 875 00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:57,567 Nothing! It's so fucking stupid. That's what I'm saying, she's a bitch. 876 00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:00,291 She did drop your ass. What did you do, man? You cheat on her? 877 01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:01,726 No! 878 01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:05,646 All right, you wanna hear this shit? It's so fucking retarded. 879 01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:08,121 She caught me watching porn. 880 01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:10,487 - That's it? - Right? 881 01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,642 - That's bullshit. - Swear to God. 882 01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:17,089 Oh, my God! OK, hold on, hold on, all right. 883 01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:21,689 So after all that obligatory shit, the friend mixing and meeting her folks, 884 01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:25,049 she just walks in on you, you know, beating your meat to a little video 885 01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:26,804 - and she's out? - You don't know her. 886 01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:29,964 - She's crazy, she's a princess. - Goddamn! 887 01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:31,849 - I know. - No, for real, 888 01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:33,570 that's some crazy bullshit right there. 889 01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:37,520 - Fuck that bitch. - Yeah. Fuck that bitch. 890 01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:42,848 But you still gonna finish that class? 891 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:44,968 - Really? - What are you, my mom? 892 01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,845 No, I just thought it was almost done. How much longer you got? 893 01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:52,005 All right, everyone, three more weeks until the final. 894 01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:56,484 If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to e-mail me. Have a good night. 895 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,651 - Hey. - Hi. 896 01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,842 - Where you going? - To my car. 897 01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:27,522 - Oh, shit! - OK. 898 01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:30,490 No, we're fine, we're fine, we're fine. 899 01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,208 Oh, my God! 900 01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,890 Should've smoked this before, you might've relaxed a little. 901 01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:48,929 What's that supposed to mean? 902 01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:54,165 I'm playing with you. Trust me, I'm a perfectly satisfied customer. 903 01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:57,483 - You want some? - Thanks. 904 01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:04,564 So I'm parked all the way on the other side. I don't know if you want... 905 01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:08,361 I know, you wanna get back, so let me enjoy this and I'll drive you back to your car. 906 01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:10,249 OK. 907 01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:16,526 - So, what happened with your girlfriend? - Fuck that bitch. 908 01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:20,082 - That bad? She find somebody else? - No. 909 01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,163 Wanna know what happened? I'll tell you what happened. 910 01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:27,003 She snooped around on my computer, she found out I watch porn. 911 01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:29,970 I told her every fucking guy watches porn, she didn't believe me. 912 01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:34,205 She acted like I was cheating on her or something, which I wasn't. 913 01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:36,727 So... we broke up. 914 01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:39,326 And you know what? I'm glad we did. 915 01:02:41,120 --> 01:02:43,168 - Just porn? - Yeah. 916 01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:46,250 - No, I don't buy it. - I'm telling you. That's all. 917 01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:49,802 Was it just once? Oh. 918 01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:54,249 OK. So she caught you once, which is why you're watching it on your phone at school, 919 01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:57,051 'cause you're hiding it from her, but she caught you the second time. 920 01:02:57,200 --> 01:03:00,170 I don't know. Am I right? I'm just guessing, but... 921 01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:04,807 Oh, God, you're like a junkie. You can't stop. 922 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,721 - How often do you watch it? - What the fuck do you care? 923 01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:14,364 - No, like every day? - Every guy watches porn every day. 924 01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:18,485 All right. When was the last time you went a day without it? 925 01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:20,449 - I don't know. - No, come on, try and think. 926 01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:23,171 - Seriously, I have no idea. - Like this week, like this month? 927 01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:27,160 No. I like my porn, OK? I watch it every day. I always have. 928 01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:30,921 Maybe when I was a kid, like before I had a VCR in my room and I couldn't, 929 01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:34,163 but even then I had Playboys, so... 930 01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:36,800 - Have you ever thought about quitting? - Quit...? 931 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,924 You're talking about it like... No, why would I? 932 01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:42,526 OK, let me ask you this. 933 01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:45,843 You're a good-looking guy, I'm sure you attract a lot of young ladies. 934 01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,321 Why bother with porn when you can have the real thing? 935 01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:50,767 Nah, see, it's not the same thing. 936 01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,924 I mean, real pussy's all good, but, no offense... 937 01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:58,847 No, no, no offense taken. So you like porn better than sex? 938 01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:04,768 Well, what is it? What do you get from porn 939 01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:07,605 that you don't get from sex with an actual person? 940 01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:12,091 - I lose myself. - You lose yourself. 941 01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:15,568 Yeah, just... goodbye. 942 01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:19,247 - And that doesn't happen when you have sex. - I wish it did. 943 01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:23,450 Sure, don't we all? Um... 944 01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:27,286 OK. One more question, then I'll drive you back. 945 01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:31,081 - You ever jerk off without porn? - What do you mean? 946 01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:57,402 I'm not like a junkie. Come on, that's stupid. 947 01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:00,291 It's porn, it's not fucking heroin. 948 01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:05,526 I knew a few guys in high school who actually smoked crack, like all the time. 949 01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:10,846 That's like a junkie. They couldn't stop. I could stop if I wanted to. I could. 950 01:06:07,640 --> 01:06:09,005 - Hi. - Hey. 951 01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:12,721 - Somebody's excited. - Yeah. Come on. 952 01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:16,521 - I wanted to talk to you. - Yeah? What about? 953 01:06:17,960 --> 01:06:19,610 Don't you wanna...? 954 01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:23,765 Don't you wanna wait till after class? 955 01:06:25,080 --> 01:06:26,650 OK. 956 01:06:32,920 --> 01:06:34,331 All right. 957 01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:51,207 You're... You're intense today. What's going on with you? 958 01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:53,880 - I gotta talk to you. - I didn't think you meant that 959 01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:55,929 - when you said it. - Well, I did. 960 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:59,641 Well, I'm flattered. What do you wanna talk about? 961 01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:02,485 Um... 962 01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:04,244 So you were right. 963 01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:06,050 - About what, your girlfriend? - No. 964 01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:08,965 I'm sorry. I was right about what? 965 01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:11,851 - I stopped watching porn. - Oh, yeah? That's great! 966 01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:13,365 - I don't know if it is. - No, it is. 967 01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:17,844 I wasn't gonna stop, but then I was thinking about what you asked me before, 968 01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:22,927 ¡f 1 ever jerk off without watching porn, and 1 tried to... 969 01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:26,721 - Yeah? And you couldn't? - No, I couldn't. 970 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:30,043 I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been trying for a week, it's really fucked up. 971 01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:36,128 - Oh, my God! You haven't cum in a week? - Mm... 972 01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:40,971 OK, wait. No. I want to hear the rest of the story. 973 01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:46,328 - So you haven't watched porn in a week. - Yeah. 974 01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:48,209 - That's good. - What do you mean? 975 01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:50,010 You said you watched porn. 976 01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:53,642 Uh, yeah, but that movie that I gave you was totally... 977 01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:55,330 - Did you ever watch it? - No. 978 01:07:55,480 --> 01:07:58,609 OK. It's totally unlike the stuff that I imagine you watch every day. 979 01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:01,246 - That is not healthy. - What do you mean? How do you know? 980 01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:04,449 Oh, my God, please! That stuff is ridiculous 981 01:08:04,640 --> 01:08:08,725 and it's nothing to do with actual sex. That's why you have trouble with real women. 982 01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:12,771 - No, I get off fine with real girls. - Yeah, you definitely do. 983 01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:16,083 Yeah, I just couldn't get off beating it with my eyes closed. 984 01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:21,280 But didn't you tell me last week that you like porn better than real sex? 985 01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:26,325 Well, honey, I'm gonna be honest with you, 'cause it seems like that's what you want. 986 01:08:26,480 --> 01:08:29,927 Look, the way you have sex, it's like totally one-sided. 987 01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:32,771 It's like I'm not even there. 988 01:08:32,960 --> 01:08:36,407 I mean, look, it's fine with me. I'm not complaining. 989 01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:39,166 It just so happens that meaningless sex is something that I want in my life now, 990 01:08:39,320 --> 01:08:42,847 but you said that you wanna lose yourself in sex. 991 01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:47,130 If you wanna lose yourself, you have to lose yourself in another person. 992 01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:51,729 And she has to lose herself in you. It's a two-way thing. 993 01:08:58,480 --> 01:09:00,448 You know what? I shouldn't have said that. 994 01:09:00,600 --> 01:09:02,887 - No, it's fine. - No, no, no. I'm sorry. I am. 995 01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:06,806 - What are you talking about? - No. I'm really sorry. 996 01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:09,406 I'm... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 997 01:09:09,560 --> 01:09:12,370 - You didn't. That's fine. - No, I really didn't. 998 01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:16,683 You know what? 999 01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:19,408 Let's take a bath. 1000 01:09:19,560 --> 01:09:23,281 - What? Nah! - No, come on. It'll be nice. 1001 01:09:23,440 --> 01:09:26,364 Come on, let's take a bath. 1002 01:09:31,400 --> 01:09:33,482 I'm gonna get you a towel. 1003 01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:45,007 Hey, where were you? 1004 01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:47,447 I used one of the towels that was in there, hope you don't mind. 1005 01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:49,489 Yeah, that's fine. 1006 01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:53,002 - What's wrong? - Nothing. 1007 01:10:55,560 --> 01:11:00,964 - You don't live here alone, do you? - I actually do. 1008 01:11:01,120 --> 01:11:06,843 There's some kind of... bad marriage situation here? 1009 01:11:07,000 --> 01:11:09,002 - No. - I know it's none of my business, sorry. 1010 01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:13,125 I don't wanna get caught out and now some guy's coming at me with a bat or some shit. 1011 01:11:13,280 --> 01:11:15,521 No, it's nothing like that. 1012 01:11:16,480 --> 01:11:19,324 All right. So, what is it? 1013 01:11:19,480 --> 01:11:22,211 Since when do you ask me personal questions? 1014 01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:26,086 Since right now. 1015 01:11:26,840 --> 01:11:29,923 - It really doesn't matter. - Well, it seems like it matters to you. 1016 01:11:30,080 --> 01:11:32,048 No, it doesn't. 1017 01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:36,649 Didn't you tell me it's sort of fucked up to keep stuff like this hidden? 1018 01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:47,687 My husband and my son died 14 months ago. 1019 01:11:47,840 --> 01:11:49,126 - Jesus! - Thank you. 1020 01:11:49,320 --> 01:11:50,845 What happened? 1021 01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:53,970 Cars are terrible things. 1022 01:11:55,440 --> 01:11:58,284 I'm sorry, but your hair is so much better this way. 1023 01:11:58,440 --> 01:12:01,011 - What? - I can touch it. 1024 01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:05,085 - What are you talking about? - You put so much junk in your hair, 1025 01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:08,210 it's all sticky and hard, this is much better. 1026 01:14:28,880 --> 01:14:31,929 ♪ Good vibration 1027 01:14:32,080 --> 01:14:35,687 ♪ It's such a sweet sensation 1028 01:14:35,840 --> 01:14:39,242 ♪ It's such a good vibration... 1029 01:14:44,440 --> 01:14:46,283 ♪ Yo! It's about that time 1030 01:14:46,440 --> 01:14:47,965 ♪ To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme... 1031 01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:06,041 In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. 1032 01:15:06,200 --> 01:15:09,044 - Amen. Bless you, my son. - Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 1033 01:15:09,200 --> 01:15:10,770 It has been one week since my last confession. 1034 01:15:10,920 --> 01:15:14,402 - Tell me your sins. - First of all, I lied to you before. 1035 01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:15,971 I told you that, uh... 1036 01:15:16,120 --> 01:15:19,090 Well, actually, I don't know if it was you. 1037 01:15:19,280 --> 01:15:22,841 Something I've always kinda wondered is, is it the same guy I'm talking to every week 1038 01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:27,688 or there's a few of you and you switch off, or... how does that all work? 1039 01:15:30,440 --> 01:15:34,411 Well, anyway, I told the Father a while back 1040 01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:40,488 that I stopped watching pornography, but that was a lie, I didn't stop at all. 1041 01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:45,163 The thing is, this week I actually did stop, like totally just not doing it anymore. 1042 01:15:45,320 --> 01:15:47,322 So... 1043 01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:52,442 - Yes? - Yeah, so that's like zero for the week. 1044 01:15:52,600 --> 01:15:56,650 Other than that, I did have sex out of wedlock one time, 1045 01:15:56,800 --> 01:16:01,840 but it was different, it wasn't just sex, it was like... 1046 01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:07,086 I don't know, it's hard to explain, but... yeah, that's it. So... 1047 01:16:07,240 --> 01:16:11,165 For these and all the sins of my life, I am sorry. 1048 01:16:11,320 --> 01:16:15,166 - Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys. - Really? Same thing, no difference? 1049 01:16:15,320 --> 01:16:17,561 Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you... 1050 01:16:17,760 --> 01:16:20,047 Wait! Father, I'm really sorry, 1051 01:16:20,200 --> 01:16:23,568 but could you just tell me how you got to those numbers, please? 1052 01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:28,243 'Cause I... I really thought there was gonna be a difference this week. 1053 01:16:32,200 --> 01:16:34,567 Have faith, my son. 1054 01:16:34,720 --> 01:16:37,291 Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, 1055 01:16:37,440 --> 01:16:42,048 and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 1056 01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:51,481 - So, uh... me and Barbara split up. - What? 1057 01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:56,567 - Barbara and I split up. - I can't believe it, this is horrible! 1058 01:16:56,720 --> 01:16:58,484 - Can you get her back? - I don't think so. 1059 01:16:58,640 --> 01:17:01,086 - Did you try to call her? - She doesn't want me to call her. 1060 01:17:01,240 --> 01:17:03,481 - Look what you did. - Sorry. What do you want me to do? 1061 01:17:03,680 --> 01:17:07,401 I just want you to be happy, that's all! Is that too much to ask? 1062 01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:11,605 - I wasn't happy. - A nice wife and some nice kids? 1063 01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:14,286 Look at me! I look like a grandmother, 1064 01:17:14,480 --> 01:17:16,881 but do I have any grandchildren? No! 1065 01:17:17,040 --> 01:17:19,042 Am I a bad mother, is that what I'm hearing? 1066 01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:21,806 - Honey, calm down, please! - You know, Ma, I don't know 1067 01:17:21,960 --> 01:17:26,409 - if I really want a wife and kids. - What are you saying? You don't mean that. 1068 01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:28,324 - Jon, say something! - All right! 1069 01:17:28,480 --> 01:17:31,245 Stop upsetting your mother! What the fuck is the matter with you? 1070 01:17:31,400 --> 01:17:33,687 - I don't know. - Having a family is the greatest joy 1071 01:17:33,840 --> 01:17:36,764 - in a man's life, everybody knows that! - Then maybe I'm not a man. 1072 01:17:36,960 --> 01:17:41,284 'Cause I sure don't want a family. Maybe one day, but not right now! 1073 01:17:41,440 --> 01:17:44,125 - Well, and that's all she wanted. - What did she say? 1074 01:17:44,280 --> 01:17:48,490 - I said that that girl... - I cannot hear any fucking thing! 1075 01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:54,764 - What are you saying? - All I'm saying is, that girl, 1076 01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:56,922 she has her own agenda. She doesn't care about Jonny, 1077 01:17:57,080 --> 01:17:58,730 she doesn't know the first thing about him. 1078 01:17:58,880 --> 01:18:01,850 She just wants a guy who's gonna do whatever she tells him to. 1079 01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:04,128 It is a good thing that she broke up with you. 1080 01:18:05,880 --> 01:18:09,327 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 1081 01:18:17,720 --> 01:18:21,850 - Jon, I will fucking kill you! - All right. Easy. 1082 01:19:05,320 --> 01:19:10,963 All right, listen, listen, I gotta go, so I'll see you later? All right. Bye. 1083 01:19:11,120 --> 01:19:12,770 - Sorry. - That's cool. 1084 01:19:12,920 --> 01:19:15,571 - Sorry about that. - No problem. How you doing? 1085 01:19:15,720 --> 01:19:18,326 - A little windy. - Yeah, it's windy out here. 1086 01:19:18,520 --> 01:19:21,444 - So... I'm good. How are you? - Good, thanks. 1087 01:19:21,600 --> 01:19:24,046 - Everybody good? - Yeah, great. 1088 01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:28,366 - Thanks for meeting me. - Sure. 1089 01:19:28,520 --> 01:19:30,966 Hope you understand why I thought lunch was not a good idea. 1090 01:19:31,160 --> 01:19:34,687 - That's fine. You want some coffee? - No, actually I gotta go pretty soon, so... 1091 01:19:38,280 --> 01:19:43,127 - You changed your hair? - Yeah... 1092 01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,002 - So? - Yeah, so... 1093 01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:53,202 I just wanted to apologize. 1094 01:19:53,920 --> 01:19:57,129 I lied to you, and I'm sorry for that. 1095 01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:05,446 Well, that's all you're gonna say? 1096 01:20:07,880 --> 01:20:11,168 I don't really know what I do with that. What do I say? 1097 01:20:11,320 --> 01:20:14,005 I forgive you, or we're supposed to get back together or something? 1098 01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:18,205 - No. No, I just wanted to tell you... - You're not capable of a relationship, Jon. 1099 01:20:18,360 --> 01:20:22,081 - You're not. - No. Right now I'm not. 1100 01:20:22,240 --> 01:20:25,005 'Cause you're a selfish person, and you're a liar. 1101 01:20:25,160 --> 01:20:29,051 - Yeah, I was. I'm sorry. - I asked you to do one thing for me... 1102 01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:33,250 Yeah. I was thinking about that when you said it before. 1103 01:20:33,400 --> 01:20:36,847 Well, I said it because it's true, that's why. 1104 01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:42,846 - It's not true. - Really? 1105 01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:45,970 You didn't only ask me for one thing. You asked for a lot, 1106 01:20:46,120 --> 01:20:48,487 a lot of different things and then... 1107 01:20:49,440 --> 01:20:50,885 ...I couldn't do it all for you. 1108 01:20:51,040 --> 01:20:55,364 Well, when a real man loves a woman, he doesn't mind doing things for her. 1109 01:20:55,520 --> 01:20:58,046 He'll do anything for her. 1110 01:20:58,200 --> 01:21:03,331 Yeah, but don't you think that sounds a little bit one-sided? 1111 01:21:03,480 --> 01:21:05,881 No, I don't. 1112 01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:09,601 But that's why you like to watch those whores in those videos, 1113 01:21:09,800 --> 01:21:12,041 because you don't gotta do anything for them, right? 1114 01:21:12,200 --> 01:21:17,081 Yeah, that's one-sided also. Definitely. 1115 01:21:18,880 --> 01:21:22,566 Look, sweetie, I'm gonna go, OK? 1116 01:21:25,600 --> 01:21:27,728 Don't call me anymore. 1117 01:21:36,440 --> 01:21:38,647 The streak is over, motherfucker! How's it feel? 1118 01:21:38,800 --> 01:21:42,043 - I'd rather get pizza with my boys. - That's new. 1119 01:21:42,200 --> 01:21:45,966 Every fucking time we go out, Don Jon smashes! 1120 01:21:46,120 --> 01:21:48,043 But not tonight, ladies and gentlemen. 1121 01:21:48,200 --> 01:21:51,283 The fans are devastated. Jonny, what happened? 1122 01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:53,761 Yeah! Well, I thought it was on with old crop top. 1123 01:21:53,920 --> 01:21:56,082 - No, that girl was annoying. - She was tight though. 1124 01:21:56,240 --> 01:21:57,446 - Eight. - Solid eight. 1125 01:21:57,640 --> 01:22:00,086 Her body was at least an eight, but you didn't talk to her. 1126 01:22:00,240 --> 01:22:02,766 - Who cares how she talks? - You asked why I didn't smash, 1127 01:22:02,920 --> 01:22:06,891 that's why I didn't smash. What about you? You were kicking it to pony-tail, right? 1128 01:22:07,040 --> 01:22:09,930 - How did it go? - You get her name? 1129 01:22:10,080 --> 01:22:12,924 - I got a number. - Oh! Hey! 1130 01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:15,003 - You like that? - Fucking right I do! 1131 01:22:15,200 --> 01:22:19,603 - Easy, easy. Did you get her name? - Yeah! 1132 01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:20,966 Wait... 1133 01:22:23,440 --> 01:22:24,885 - Oh, fuck! - What? 1134 01:22:25,080 --> 01:22:26,525 I saved it as pony-tail. 1135 01:22:26,680 --> 01:22:29,126 - Danny-boy! - Danny-boy! 1136 01:22:29,280 --> 01:22:32,648 All right, all right, all right. Take it easy, take it easy. 1137 01:22:45,080 --> 01:22:46,764 This fucking lady. 1138 01:22:46,920 --> 01:22:50,970 I don't usually like it when a girl looks me right in the eye, 1139 01:22:51,120 --> 01:22:52,929 and this girl does that a lot. 1140 01:22:53,080 --> 01:22:57,369 But I don't know what it is about her. When she does it, I don't mind. 1141 01:22:57,520 --> 01:23:01,844 I just look right back at her, and pretty soon... 1142 01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:04,241 ...I'm hard as a fucking rock. 1143 01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:06,801 It's like she knows what I'm thinking. 1144 01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:09,731 Or I know what she's thinking, or... 1145 01:23:09,920 --> 01:23:13,845 I don't know, it's that two-way thing. I fucking love it. 1146 01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:20,885 And I don't mean love like, "I love her, I wanna marry her." 1147 01:23:21,040 --> 01:23:23,725 I'm definitely not thinking about all that shit. 1148 01:23:23,880 --> 01:23:26,281 And she's not either. 1149 01:23:27,640 --> 01:23:29,722 She can't. 1150 01:23:33,360 --> 01:23:36,330 I guess I just mean love like, 1151 01:23:36,480 --> 01:23:40,690 you know, like when we're making love. 1152 01:23:41,520 --> 01:23:45,730 And while we 're doing it, all the bullshit does fade away, 1153 01:23:45,880 --> 01:23:48,963 and it's just me and her, right there, 1154 01:23:49,120 --> 01:23:52,602 and yeah, I do lose myself in her, 1155 01:23:52,760 --> 01:23:56,162 and I can tell she is losing herself in me, 1156 01:23:56,320 --> 01:24:01,486 and we 're just fucking... lost together. 1157 01:30:01,160 --> 01:30:02,161 TCS Subtitling. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.moviesubtitles.org 99318

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.