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1
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,675
Hi, Kel. What are you listening to?
2
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,475
Radio Love-Line.
It's listener-dedication hour.
3
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,989
How many dedications did I get?
4
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:36,998
Three, actually.
5
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,316
"Lonely Boy"...
6
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,875
..."Like a Virgin"...
7
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,755
...and "When A Man Loves
A Rubber Woman."
8
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,195
And I suppose you got
your usual dedication:
9
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,630
"She Works Hard for the Money."
10
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,113
Well, whatever gave you the idea
that I am some cheap tramp?
11
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,118
And now, dedicated to Kelly:
12
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,595
"She Works Hard For--"
13
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,238
Oh, hi, Mom. Bud broke your radio.
14
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,948
That's okay. It was your father's.
15
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,196
Hey, kids, look what just came
in the mail.
16
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,313
It's my first Best of Oprah
videocassette.
17
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:33,158
"Volume one:
Mom's a Dad and I'm So Sad."
18
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,713
If the world had only one throat...
19
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,113
A fat woman
sloshed into the shoe store today...
20
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,959
...said she was retaining water.
21
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,310
I said not to worry about it.
22
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,238
The dam of cellulite
holding it back...
23
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,113
...should keep us all high and dry
for the next few years.
24
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,437
Now, I don't know when they started
letting women carry stun guns...
25
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,039
...but I'll tell you this--
26
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:08,756
There he goes again.On and on about his non-life.
27
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,197
Hey, news flash, people.You have a dog.
28
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:16,069
A dog who hasn't been brushedor bathed in six years.
29
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,840
Now I know how Willie Nelson feels.
30
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:25,070
Hey, don't mind me. I'll just lickmy genitalia and go to sleep alone.
31
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,114
Much like the boy.
32
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,593
Hey, ever hear of affection?
33
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:34,509
We love to be petted,much like the girl.
34
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:40,589
Well, that's it. I'm fed up.I can takes no more. I'm out of here.
35
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,596
No, no, no.Don't try and stop me now.
36
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,514
Well, thank you.
37
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,110
Okay, you'll be sorry.
38
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,598
Boy, am I sorry.
39
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,917
Running away,what the hell was I thinking?
40
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,476
Hey, you. New dog.What are you in for?
41
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,917
I ran away from hometo teach my family a lesson.
42
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,798
Well, you know what they say:
43
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,231
"You can't teach an old familynew tricks."
44
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,119
That's what you think.
45
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,949
I'm sure right now my family'sbeside themselves with grief.
46
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,949
So then, this skinny woman
with a hook nose...
47
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,236
...Olive Oyls into the shoe store...
48
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:28,000
...and says, "I want something
to make me look sexy."
49
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,431
So I say, "You'll have to wait
a long time before someone that ugly...
50
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,200
...comes in to stand next to you."
51
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,593
Excuse me, boy.
52
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:43,874
Now, I don't know when they started
letting women carry nunchucks--
53
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,354
Yeah, they're probably cryingtheir eyes out for me right now.
54
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,033
Hey, what's the boxer in for?
55
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:58,238
Oh, nothing, if you hear him tell it.
56
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,913
I'm innocent. Innocent.
57
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,158
You know I'm innocent, don't you?
58
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:15,719
Only in Americawith our system of jurisprudence...
59
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:22,155
...would this have happenedto an upstanding boxer like yourself!
60
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,918
And who's that over there?
61
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,077
Oh, that's Madonna's dog.
62
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:33,029
After the book came out,he turned himself in.
63
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,276
So how does it work around here?I mean, like, when do we eat?
64
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,511
Eat? Let's see, it's almost 9...
65
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,756
About three days from now.
66
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,912
That soon? Hey!
67
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,834
I think I'm gonna like this place.Yeah, too bad I won't be here long.
68
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,157
I mean, not with my familyout searching for me.
69
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,831
So then, this woman comes in...
70
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,595
...who doesn't speak English.
71
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,919
She points at the shoes,
I point at the door.
72
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:15,911
She points at the sky,
and knees me in the nay-nays.
73
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,873
I said--
74
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,832
- Come in!
- Come in!
75
00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,398
Hi, Bud.
76
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,158
I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
77
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,588
- Oh, no!
- Oh, no. Not at all!
78
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,910
- We're very excited to see you.
- Sit down.
79
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,350
See you later. Bye.
80
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,235
Hey, Al, when was the last time
you got some good news?
81
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,718
Well, when I was 7
my mother told me I was adopted.
82
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:55,114
Which turned out to be a vicious lie,
but it was good news at the time.
83
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,670
Well, guess what's happening
in a week from now?
84
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:03,113
The nudie bar is having their annual
Wrestle Till You're Raw Night.
85
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:06,153
Is it that time of year already?
86
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,670
God, time sure flies
when you're married and have no life.
87
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,356
They're selling raffle tickets
for a drawing to see who gets to...
88
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,312
...oil down the first girl.
89
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,473
Yes, first oil.
90
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,637
And you know who's gonna be
in the ring, don't you, buddy?
91
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,631
Maria Cantalopes Meyers?
92
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:38,030
Versus
Yolanda "Deep Shade" McSuade.
93
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,074
Wow, truly a battle of the titans.
94
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:46,996
Maria and the Shadester.
Four of my favorites.
95
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,430
Jefferson, I have to be the one
to get that first oil.
96
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,949
- How much are tickets?
- Twenty bucks a piece.
97
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,593
A little steep, huh?
98
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,919
Yolanda and Maria.
99
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,719
All right, well...
100
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,912
...turn around. I don't want you
to see where I hide the money.
101
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,714
Gee, I wonder what's takingthe family so long.
102
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:23,629
I mean, they sure act fast enoughwhen the blond girl gets lost.
103
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,359
Of course, unlike herI've never got lost in the house.
104
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,314
They'll be here.
105
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:38,756
Poor fella.I hate to see him suffer like that.
106
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,359
Me too.
107
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,597
Shall we tell him he's gonna die?
108
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,398
Yeah, why not. Hey, you, buckaroo.
109
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,229
There's something you oughtto know about this place.
110
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:55,871
Hey. Hey, hey, hey!I'm not anyone's bitch, okay?
111
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:06,031
No. No, not that.
112
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,438
Too bad though, he is a looker.
113
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:14,433
You better hope somebody comes into get you in seven days or less.
114
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,996
What happens after seven days?
115
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,630
Well, let's say you'll be drinkingout of God's toilet.
116
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,434
You mean, I'll-- I'll be dead?
117
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:28,315
Whoa, that's certainly a cage soiler.
118
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:30,798
Hey, but I'm not worried. I mean...
119
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,514
...I got four peoplescouring the city for me right now.
120
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,119
Like, there's Bud, you know?
121
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:40,110
Well, if he can't even finda two-legged dog...
122
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,788
...why would I thinkhe'd find a four-legged one?
123
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:48,670
Oh, but the girl--The girl... is an idiot.
124
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,435
I wouldn't have any use for her at allif she didn't undress in front of me.
125
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,594
Well, the redhead...
126
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,199
She wouldn't know I was gone...
127
00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,995
...unless my picturewas on the side of a bonbon box.
128
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:05,559
I guess my only hope isthe big dumb guy with the stinky feet.
129
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:07,912
My pal Al.
130
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,633
He won't let me down.
131
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,599
Besides, what else does he got goingin his life?
132
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,592
But-- But I don't wanna die!I mean, I've got so much to live for.
133
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:24,316
I got balls yet to catch,and cats to tree, bones to bury.
134
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,990
Gee, come to think of it,we don't really do much, do we?
135
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,115
How does he do that?
136
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:50,838
Ever since his people had him fixedhe doesn't date much.
137
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,119
Oh, I see.
138
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,993
Hey, look, guys. I knowI'm only the new kid on death row...
139
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,749
...but given what seems to be in store,shouldn't we be knee deep in our own--
140
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:04,278
Keep your fur on,tall, dark and wormy.
141
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,232
It's visitor's day.
142
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,392
Why, we could get abducted.
143
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:17,276
No, no. He means adopted.
144
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,268
If a family comes in and likes you,you're sprung.
145
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:31,110
Hey, pick me.I'm really good with kids.
146
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,629
Hey, hey!
147
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:43,156
Hey, lady. I'm a genius in French,so you'll take me, please.
148
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,950
I want this one.
149
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:52,312
Oh, but, honey, he's old and ugly.
150
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,919
Yeah, well, from where I stand...
151
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:58,192
...you're not exactlySharon Stone yourself.
152
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,753
How about we forget the whole thing
and go get an ice cream?
153
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:09,157
- Okay.
- Good boy!
154
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,319
I am not giving up!
155
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,751
If that family can look for a dog,my family can look for a dog.
156
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,635
Besides, I've got seven days.No problem.
157
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,320
Problem.
158
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:38,550
Al, have you noticed anything different
around the house lately?
159
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,914
You know, I just can't help but feel
that there is something missing...
160
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,590
...and I am very observant
about these things.
161
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,871
Eat up, boy.
162
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,035
Well, Peg, what do you think?
163
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,713
That is the most disgusting tie
I've ever seen.
164
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,712
I'm not talking about the tie,
I'm talking about the shirt.
165
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,352
Look okay? I wanna look my best
for Wrestle Till You're Raw Night.
166
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:17,916
You know, Larry Linville from M*A*S*H
is gonna be one of the judges.
167
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,510
So did Lumber City
give him the week off?
168
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:27,790
I'm going to the frat house.
How you doing, boy?
169
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:32,591
Hey, Bud, have you noticed
anything missing around here lately?
170
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,032
The van Gogh?
171
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,875
Mom, Dad, you're never gonna guess
what happened.
172
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,719
Okay, I was out walking Buck.
173
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,994
When suddenly I realized...
174
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,476
...that he wasn't stopping
at every tree and hydrant on the block.
175
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,874
And that's when I looked down
at the end of the leash...
176
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,594
...and saw that I was Buck-naked.
177
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,472
I knew something was missing.
178
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:05,717
He couldn't have been gone for long.
His food got eaten every day.
179
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,717
Al?
180
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,712
Oh, Buck's gone.
181
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,239
Okay now, kids...
182
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:22,070
...go outside and look under the house
where your father usually hides.
183
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,989
I'm gonna go get a flashlight.
We gotta find Buck.
184
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,711
Buck's gone?
185
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,878
- Nudie-mart!
- Nudie-mart!
186
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,308
- All right!
- All right!
187
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,751
Oh, bad news, Al.
188
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:04,111
They didn't draw my number
for first oil but...
189
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,754
...they drew yours.
190
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,877
Okay, you ready, Dad?
191
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,430
- Ready for what?
- To go find Buck.
192
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,956
Well, I'll keep my eyes peeled
from here to the nudie bar. Let's go.
193
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:23,432
Dad! Buck is the family dog and
the whole family should look for him.
194
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,477
Oh, pumpkin!
195
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,234
Now, if you were a dog,
where would you go?
196
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,277
Well, that depends.
197
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,869
Are you a dog too?
198
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,551
Al, I am serious. Buck could be hurt.
199
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,711
He could be lying in the gutter, Dad.
200
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:44,239
Did it ever occur to any of you
that Buck might have just run away?
201
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,352
I've thought of it myself
a million times.
202
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,478
He could be eating a steak right now,
drinking a daiquiri...
203
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,831
...or doing that little cocker spaniel
down the end of the street.
204
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,879
Our dog Buck...
205
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,959
...might for the first time in his life
be truly happy.
206
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,717
Who cares? We want him back.
207
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,148
Yeah, we want Buck.
208
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,078
- Yeah, Dad.
- Dad, go find Buck.
209
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,793
I don't wanna have to go get--
210
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,595
Look, Al, I know you're in a bind,
but it's a quarter till.
211
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,189
Go ahead. Try to hold off the pouring
of the first oil. I'll get in the car...
212
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,597
...go around the block a few times
to find him. Shouldn't take long.
213
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,791
I'd like to--
214
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,238
Oh. Now, now, honey.
215
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,830
It's okay. Daddy'll find Buck.
216
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,791
Has he ever let you down before?
217
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,749
Oh, it's okay, honey.
218
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,154
You know, just remember...
219
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,715
...Daddy loves Buck
just as much as we do.
220
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,319
They're best friends.
221
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,798
Well...
222
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,869
...I found Buck. Now here, I gotta go.
223
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,749
Hey, wait a second!
224
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,397
This isn't Buck.
225
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:12,115
Well, that may be, but I still gotta go.
226
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,028
Okay, Al. Now, look...
227
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,117
...if pouring some oil
on some women...
228
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,756
...that even Senator Packwood
wouldn't grope...
229
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,913
...is more important to you...
230
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,839
...than reuniting
your faithful and loving puppy...
231
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,715
...with your faithful and loving family,
then just go.
232
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:39,038
But know that we'll be here
crying our eyes out.
233
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,912
Okay, okay.
234
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,273
- Bye.
- Get back here.
235
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:51,076
Well, Peg, Buck'll come home.
I always do.
236
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:55,029
Don't you know
tonight is very important to me.
237
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,473
Oh, not the theme to Lassie.
238
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,278
Anything but the theme to Lassie.
You know how it chokes me up.
239
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,629
All right, let's go find him.
Let's go find Buck.
240
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,115
And I really hate you guys for this.
241
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,118
Well, not just for this,
but especially this.
242
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,039
Oh, Lassie.
243
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,674
They're not really gonna take meto the green door?
244
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:47,596
The Lord is my German shepherd,I shall not want.
245
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,794
Doesn't he know any other songs?
246
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:05,319
- What was that?
- Be at peace, my son.
247
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,199
Oh, put a sock in it, padre.
248
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,356
If only my peoplewould come for me.
249
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,312
I promise, I'd never run away again...
250
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,911
...or chew on their shoes, or pass windand watch as they blame it on the boy.
251
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,398
It's-- It's them!
252
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,313
What is it, Peg? Why we've been
to about 40 of these places.
253
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,238
This is the last one, Al.
254
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,074
They've come to rescue me!
255
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,271
Gosh...
256
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,871
I knew they wouldn't forget me.
257
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,072
Well...
258
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,396
...he's not here.
259
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,516
Hey! Hey, yes, I am!Hey, look down, you moron!
260
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,149
Well, are you sure, Al?
I mean, maybe we should--
261
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,874
Peg, don't you think if Buck were here
he'd be barking?
262
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,951
I know, because a man and his dog
have a bond.
263
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,879
And if-- Will you shut up, you mutt?
264
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,632
Oh, look at the cute puppies.
Hey, Daddy, can we get a puppy?
265
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,509
Oh, this one just licked my face.
266
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,154
"This dog licked my face."
267
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:10,557
You should have seen wherehis tongue was a few minutes ago.
268
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,595
Fools, I'm down here.
269
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,149
Puppy'll cost you $15.
270
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:21,791
And could you speed it up a little bit.
I got an execution to do.
271
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:29,636
Wait a second.
This big one looks a little like Buck.
272
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,510
Well, that couldn't be.
273
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,593
You know the irony in this is...
274
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,678
...they should be putting you guys
to sleep in 30 seconds.
275
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,789
Well, wait a minute now.
276
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,149
- That is Buck!
- It is Buck!
277
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,588
- Buck! Buck!
- It is Buck!
278
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,876
Hey, hey, hey. That's our dog.
279
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,117
- He'll cost you 20 bucks.
- Twenty bucks?
280
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,471
Why, for 20 bucks
I can get a real good suit.
281
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:55,918
The fathead losered his wayinto the pound today...
282
00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:59,839
Well, I guess we'll take the old boy.
Yeah.
283
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:01,996
And we're never gonna let this
happen again.
284
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,998
Yeah. Everything's gonna be different
from now on, Buck.
285
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,555
That's right. We're gonna play
and we're gonna romp.
286
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,955
We'll bathe you.
We'll even feed you, Buck.
287
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:14,119
- Everything's gonna be okay.
- Oh, Buck boy. So good.
288
00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:27,478
Kelly, the Best of Oprah: Volume Two
just came.
289
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,671
Here we go.
290
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,031
"The Cross and the double-cross.
291
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,272
Catholic men
who dress like women."
292
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,633
Hey, Ma, think Dad'll let me use
the car tonight?
293
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,195
Well, depends on what mood he's in.
294
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:47,116
I wish the world were a fly
and I was a giant rolled-up newspaper.
295
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,029
Here we go.
296
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,829
A fat woman clip-clopped
into the shoe store today...
297
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,789
...and said, "I need something
I'd be comfortable in."
298
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,434
I said, "Try Wyoming."
299
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,874
Now, I don't know when they started
letting women carry chain saws...
300
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:10,830
Oh, like your family's any better.
24933
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