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1
00:00:00,109 --> 00:00:02,007
No. No way.
2
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:04,203
You're the first cop on the scene, dude.
3
00:00:04,969 --> 00:00:06,177
Doesn't matter.
4
00:00:06,183 --> 00:00:08,305
Backup to the police
are 20 minutes away.
5
00:00:08,311 --> 00:00:10,687
- She's still warm.
- Yeah, I still wouldn't do it.
6
00:00:10,693 --> 00:00:12,986
- It's Marilyn Monroe!
- I'd sneak a peek,
7
00:00:12,992 --> 00:00:15,152
but I wouldn't do that.
I do have some morals.
8
00:00:15,158 --> 00:00:16,451
You won't get caught.
9
00:00:16,457 --> 00:00:18,649
Her body would be riddled with evidence.
10
00:00:19,143 --> 00:00:22,061
You know, prints, hair,
11
00:00:22,746 --> 00:00:24,625
- my semen.
- So?
12
00:00:24,631 --> 00:00:28,238
Dude, it's the Sixties. DNA
hasn't even been discovered yet.
13
00:00:28,244 --> 00:00:29,444
No one will ever know.
14
00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:30,920
They'd keep it on file.
15
00:00:30,926 --> 00:00:33,733
They'd cut to a 70-year-old
me explaining to my grand-kids
16
00:00:33,739 --> 00:00:37,211
that I went to prison for having
sex with Marilyn Monroe's corpse.
17
00:00:37,616 --> 00:00:40,482
Dude, this'll have to be my last
one. I gotta get ready for work.
18
00:00:41,179 --> 00:00:43,603
Just take the day off. I did.
19
00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:45,095
What, again?
20
00:00:45,217 --> 00:00:46,417
Yep.
21
00:00:46,423 --> 00:00:48,803
All I gotta do is put up
some missing cat posters.
22
00:00:48,809 --> 00:00:51,905
So, Becca still doesn't
know you killed her cat?
23
00:00:52,389 --> 00:00:54,729
Nope. And she never will.
24
00:00:55,363 --> 00:00:59,097
_
25
00:00:59,183 --> 00:01:01,319
I still bear the scars.
26
00:01:02,612 --> 00:01:05,261
_
27
00:01:05,267 --> 00:01:07,658
And I am their Queen.
28
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:10,070
Oh!
29
00:01:14,057 --> 00:01:16,260
- Shit.
- What's wrong?
30
00:01:18,628 --> 00:01:22,039
Oh, shit! Shit! Becca's back.
31
00:01:27,019 --> 00:01:28,322
Shit!
32
00:01:30,062 --> 00:01:31,371
_
33
00:01:43,739 --> 00:01:44,980
Oh!
34
00:01:45,258 --> 00:01:46,512
Hi, honey.
35
00:01:48,584 --> 00:01:50,711
- Why can I smell smoke?
- Can you?
36
00:01:51,274 --> 00:01:53,477
Oh, um, I know, huh...
37
00:01:53,664 --> 00:01:57,181
there were some, uh,
teenagers smoking some weed.
38
00:01:57,455 --> 00:01:59,798
- Must have wafted in.
- Do you think I'm an idiot?
39
00:01:59,804 --> 00:02:01,386
Don't smoke in the flat.
40
00:02:01,392 --> 00:02:03,999
- I told you, I've given up.
- What are you doing here anyway?
41
00:02:04,606 --> 00:02:07,726
Oh, I... I had my
scan today. For my arm.
42
00:02:07,811 --> 00:02:09,081
Oh yeah, how was it?
43
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,978
Oh, it's always the same.
44
00:02:10,984 --> 00:02:12,558
They don't... they don't
know what wrong with it.
45
00:02:12,564 --> 00:02:14,890
They just said, you
know, just keep it rested.
46
00:02:14,896 --> 00:02:18,768
Just keep... doing... what you're doing.
47
00:02:18,969 --> 00:02:20,766
Hasn't stopped you
playing PlayStation then?
48
00:02:20,864 --> 00:02:22,064
No.
49
00:02:22,070 --> 00:02:25,433
No, well they... actually they said
it was good exercise, for my thumb.
50
00:02:25,943 --> 00:02:28,036
So, what are you doing here
anyway? Shouldn't you...
51
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,545
- shouldn't you be at work?
- Oh, this isn't yours, you make it stink.
52
00:02:33,005 --> 00:02:34,820
- Me lamp!
- Yes.
53
00:02:34,826 --> 00:02:36,809
Your... your lamp. Um...
54
00:02:37,009 --> 00:02:38,619
You're not gonna believe this,
55
00:02:39,521 --> 00:02:41,468
but it was... Peanut.
56
00:02:41,701 --> 00:02:43,529
- Peanut's back?
- Yeah.
57
00:02:43,535 --> 00:02:45,183
And... no.
58
00:02:45,329 --> 00:02:48,746
Oh, it's the weirdest thing, he
just... jumped into the window.
59
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,935
- Oh, my God!
- Like he was possessed.
60
00:02:50,941 --> 00:02:53,625
You know, running around,
knocking things over,
61
00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,337
including your lamp,
62
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,515
- and uh...
- Why do you always lie to me?
63
00:02:57,639 --> 00:02:58,839
I don't.
64
00:02:58,905 --> 00:03:01,308
Just tell the truth
for once in your life.
65
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,221
I am telling the truth.
66
00:03:03,227 --> 00:03:04,647
I can't do this anymore.
67
00:03:05,132 --> 00:03:06,332
We're finished.
68
00:03:06,338 --> 00:03:09,835
We're finished? What... what...
what... You're dumping me? But...
69
00:03:10,030 --> 00:03:12,290
but we're only halfway through
season 5 of Game of Thrones?
70
00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:14,286
Oh, great! So that's your only
argument for us to stay together?
71
00:03:14,292 --> 00:03:16,825
- 'Cause I don't even like Game of Thrones.
- What?
72
00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:18,720
You cried when they killed Ned.
73
00:03:18,726 --> 00:03:21,132
Get out! Get out! Get your
things together and leave.
74
00:03:21,138 --> 00:03:23,092
- But this is my home.
- No, it's my home.
75
00:03:23,098 --> 00:03:24,624
You don't even pay rent.
76
00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:27,530
I pay our Netflix subscription.
77
00:03:27,536 --> 00:03:29,725
I'm gonna stay with my mum and dad,
78
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:32,890
and I'm gonna give you till the end
of the week to get your things out.
79
00:03:32,896 --> 00:03:34,096
'Kay?
80
00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:42,814
Ooh, harsh, dude.
81
00:03:44,195 --> 00:03:45,438
Quick game?
82
00:03:48,885 --> 00:03:53,885
Transcription & Sync by PopcornAWH and emeline-whovian
Proofed by PetaG for www.addic7ed.com
83
00:03:57,543 --> 00:03:58,743
Hurry up.
84
00:03:58,852 --> 00:04:00,383
I'm coming, my sweetie.
85
00:04:01,258 --> 00:04:03,274
Wear your glasses.
86
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,470
My... my glasses make me
look old, light of my life.
87
00:04:06,476 --> 00:04:07,676
You are old.
88
00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:09,897
Even Botox wouldn't help.
89
00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:11,915
I'll just wear my glasses.
90
00:04:13,891 --> 00:04:15,091
Oh, right.
91
00:04:15,299 --> 00:04:16,499
Hello.
92
00:04:21,213 --> 00:04:22,842
How do I get her back, Ash?
93
00:04:23,332 --> 00:04:26,379
Don't know. Maybe you need
to give her some space.
94
00:04:27,031 --> 00:04:29,968
What if... what if I took her
to a really expensive restaurant?
95
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:34,218
You know, pay for
everything, nice wine, steak.
96
00:04:34,224 --> 00:04:36,683
Steak? Isn't she vegetarian?
97
00:04:37,866 --> 00:04:41,421
Do you know what? She might be. Shit!
98
00:04:45,206 --> 00:04:46,682
So...
99
00:04:47,249 --> 00:04:48,600
what are you gonna do?
100
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,343
Can I stay at yours?
101
00:04:50,349 --> 00:04:53,557
Oh, man, that might be tricky.
The baby still sleeps with Vanessa.
102
00:04:54,064 --> 00:04:55,788
I've just broken my arm.
103
00:04:56,435 --> 00:04:58,045
How do I get over this?
104
00:05:01,947 --> 00:05:03,469
These things never work.
105
00:05:03,631 --> 00:05:06,351
Can't it just be a... key in a lock?
106
00:05:06,461 --> 00:05:07,741
The old days.
107
00:05:08,226 --> 00:05:11,147
Those are my keys and that's
a USB stick you're pressing.
108
00:05:22,995 --> 00:05:26,758
- Hello?
- Hi, am I speaking to Daniel Glass?
109
00:05:26,764 --> 00:05:28,029
Uh, yeah, that's me.
110
00:05:28,035 --> 00:05:30,156
Just a remind that you
have an appointment here
111
00:05:30,162 --> 00:05:32,664
at St. Frederik's clinic at 12:15.
112
00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:34,143
Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there.
113
00:05:34,149 --> 00:05:37,107
Just to let you know you
won't be seeing Dr Leek today
114
00:05:37,113 --> 00:05:38,547
as he is on leave.
115
00:05:38,553 --> 00:05:42,213
All of his cases are being
overseen by Dr Glennis.
116
00:05:42,219 --> 00:05:43,419
Dr Glennis?
117
00:05:43,425 --> 00:05:47,525
He's one of our best doctors.
You'll be in safe hands.
118
00:05:51,908 --> 00:05:54,834
The NHS is on its death bed.
119
00:05:54,993 --> 00:05:58,236
Long waiting times, outdated equipment,
120
00:05:58,242 --> 00:06:01,420
and wards riddled with MRSA...
121
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:06,608
At We Cover Insurance, we want to
give our customers the peace of mind
122
00:06:06,614 --> 00:06:09,233
that their health is in good hands.
123
00:06:09,239 --> 00:06:11,109
Our hands.
124
00:06:11,343 --> 00:06:13,853
- We Cover Insurance.
- Bollocks.
125
00:06:20,076 --> 00:06:21,301
_
126
00:06:32,270 --> 00:06:33,470
Hello?
127
00:06:34,693 --> 00:06:36,558
Hey! Hey?
128
00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:39,393
Did, uh, did Michael
notice I wasn't here?
129
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,040
I don't think so. Is
it your first day here?
130
00:06:43,431 --> 00:06:47,448
What? No, no, I've worked
here for like two years.
131
00:06:49,437 --> 00:06:50,953
No way.
132
00:06:53,044 --> 00:06:55,353
Hi, this is Daniel
at We Cover Insurance.
133
00:06:55,359 --> 00:06:56,705
How can I help you today?
134
00:06:56,711 --> 00:07:01,107
I want to cancel my cancel my
husband's plan. Account number 31A28D.
135
00:07:01,113 --> 00:07:02,427
Uh, yeah, why?
136
00:07:02,433 --> 00:07:05,178
- H... he passed away.
- Oh.
137
00:07:05,388 --> 00:07:09,066
Oh right, um, it says he's got
another four payments to make,
138
00:07:09,072 --> 00:07:12,486
- I just, I...
- um, and plus, if you cancel now, you will,
139
00:07:12,492 --> 00:07:16,576
er, invalidate your �35 M&S voucher.
140
00:07:18,346 --> 00:07:19,558
Hello?
141
00:07:22,313 --> 00:07:23,610
Ah, hi, Mom.
142
00:07:23,616 --> 00:07:26,307
- Hi, Simon.
- No. It's not Simon, it's
143
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:29,585
- Daniel, your other son.
- Oh, sorry, Daniel.
144
00:07:29,591 --> 00:07:32,288
- Everything okay?
- Uh, not really.
145
00:07:32,294 --> 00:07:34,393
Becca kicked me out.
146
00:07:34,399 --> 00:07:36,085
Oh dear...
147
00:07:36,886 --> 00:07:38,421
Who... who's Becca?
148
00:07:38,427 --> 00:07:40,357
But... She... My girlfriend...
149
00:07:40,363 --> 00:07:42,771
who I've been living with for two years.
150
00:07:42,777 --> 00:07:45,442
Oh, Becca. What a shame.
151
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:48,061
- Do you think I could come and stay?
- Oh!
152
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:50,074
Your brother's calling. Gotta go.
153
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,379
Hi, Simon.
154
00:07:51,385 --> 00:07:55,340
You had one job to do, get me a
make-up artist and you ass fucked it!
155
00:07:55,346 --> 00:07:56,734
You didn't mention it yesterday.
156
00:07:56,740 --> 00:07:59,201
Isn't it obvious that I need make-up?
157
00:07:59,207 --> 00:08:01,828
I'm going on television to
promote this fucking company.
158
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,510
- Yeah, sorry, Kenny.
- I'm working harder than a hooker's pussy
159
00:08:04,516 --> 00:08:07,742
to grow We Cover and
can you explain to me
160
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,968
why we only get a one-percent
increase in the last quarter.
161
00:08:10,974 --> 00:08:13,688
- Can you explain that to me?
- Well, an increase is an increase.
162
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,477
I want you to fire some of these pricks.
163
00:08:16,483 --> 00:08:20,493
Maybe it'll shove a red hot dildo
up the rest of their lazy asses.
164
00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:23,001
I... I thought this was the
best area for the interview.
165
00:08:23,007 --> 00:08:25,500
With this bunch of gargoyles behind me?
166
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,717
Wouldn't jizz on them
if they were on fire.
167
00:08:27,723 --> 00:08:31,292
Hi, this is Daniel at We Cover
Insurance. How can I help you today?
168
00:08:31,298 --> 00:08:36,059
Jesus-H-fucking-Christ, there's
not a single face in this place
169
00:08:36,065 --> 00:08:37,757
that's fit for TV.
170
00:08:37,763 --> 00:08:40,384
Except... maybe her.
171
00:08:40,390 --> 00:08:44,812
Move her to this desk here.
Get rid of this asshole.
172
00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:46,704
We'll just keep the camera tight.
173
00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:49,660
So we don't get any of these
other shit lickers in the shot.
174
00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:52,543
- Okay. Yeah.
- Okay? Yeah, good. I'm gonna crap.
175
00:08:52,826 --> 00:08:54,263
Ah, hi, Mike.
176
00:08:54,269 --> 00:08:56,911
He's the shit licker, right?
177
00:08:56,917 --> 00:08:58,519
Are you not on the phone to a customer?
178
00:08:59,435 --> 00:09:02,533
Oh, they... they've had
some shopping delivered.
179
00:09:02,539 --> 00:09:06,054
Okay, well when you're done, can
you come in for a quick word please?
180
00:09:08,044 --> 00:09:09,428
It's your numbers.
181
00:09:09,742 --> 00:09:11,262
They're way up.
182
00:09:11,268 --> 00:09:12,752
Oh, great.
183
00:09:12,758 --> 00:09:14,662
Oh, no, no, it's not great.
184
00:09:14,706 --> 00:09:17,283
You've got a very
high cancellation rate.
185
00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:19,722
I mean, our customers are
slipping through your fingers.
186
00:09:19,728 --> 00:09:22,738
You try keeping up an angry
customer when all you can offer is a
187
00:09:22,744 --> 00:09:24,925
�35 M&S voucher.
188
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:28,543
That, I think, is a pretty good deal.
189
00:09:28,549 --> 00:09:31,955
I mean, do you even like working here?
190
00:09:32,316 --> 00:09:34,636
- I... love it.
- Now...
191
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:37,629
I'm... I'm s... I'm sorry,
Daniel, to have to do this but I...
192
00:09:37,635 --> 00:09:42,220
No, no, no, I... I'm really sorry.
I've... I've got my appointment.
193
00:09:42,226 --> 00:09:44,804
Yeah... yeah, of course.
194
00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:47,336
- Another test?
- Scan results today.
195
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,472
Uh, fingers crossed they finally
196
00:09:49,478 --> 00:09:52,237
- work out what's wrong with it.
- Let's hope so.
197
00:09:54,035 --> 00:09:55,592
Wasn't it your left arm?
198
00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,160
Yes.
199
00:09:59,221 --> 00:10:00,421
Yeah, it was.
200
00:10:01,205 --> 00:10:02,698
But now it's the right.
201
00:10:02,704 --> 00:10:06,115
I've been, uh, overcompensating.
202
00:10:10,771 --> 00:10:12,898
Uh. Very unusual.
203
00:10:12,966 --> 00:10:14,596
Tell me, uh, Daniel,
204
00:10:14,763 --> 00:10:16,981
are you, uh... are you a smoker?
205
00:10:17,068 --> 00:10:20,486
Uh, no. No. Ah, why?
206
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,026
Something has come up.
207
00:10:22,543 --> 00:10:23,792
Look...
208
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,470
I'll level with you.
209
00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:29,498
There's nothing really
wrong with my arm.
210
00:10:29,859 --> 00:10:32,672
I was just trying to
get some time off work.
211
00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:35,236
Well, you may be getting, uh,
212
00:10:35,242 --> 00:10:37,649
a bit more time off
than you bargained for.
213
00:10:41,705 --> 00:10:45,491
That was in... in bad taste
actually. I'm... uh, I'm sorry.
214
00:10:45,595 --> 00:10:47,101
Sorry for what?
215
00:10:47,892 --> 00:10:52,611
I'm afraid I have to tell you,
Daniel, that you have cancer.
216
00:11:09,604 --> 00:11:11,225
I have cancer?
217
00:11:12,283 --> 00:11:16,291
Yes. Yes, there was a
shadow on one of your scans
218
00:11:16,297 --> 00:11:21,087
and the... the biopsy we did
has, it has confirmed that.
219
00:11:23,587 --> 00:11:25,306
I... I have...
220
00:11:25,572 --> 00:11:27,096
elbow cancer?
221
00:11:29,727 --> 00:11:32,556
No. No, no. Your...
your... your elbow is fine.
222
00:11:32,562 --> 00:11:35,740
There's... there's no such
thing as... as elbow cancer.
223
00:11:35,746 --> 00:11:39,634
Um... you... you have cancer
of the osni... of the oth...
224
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:40,935
uh, it's here.
225
00:11:40,941 --> 00:11:44,281
You have cancer of the osni... Very
difficult to pronounce this one.
226
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,547
Yeah. Your asnophagus.
227
00:11:48,339 --> 00:11:50,961
My... my oesophagus?
228
00:11:50,967 --> 00:11:52,885
That's right. Your osnophagus.
229
00:11:53,341 --> 00:11:55,388
Look, uh... I'm gonna level with you.
230
00:11:55,394 --> 00:11:57,503
Uh, it really couldn't
be in a worse place
231
00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,519
but, uh, I am a very
experienced oncologist,
232
00:12:00,525 --> 00:12:02,808
um, I've successfully
treated many patients.
233
00:12:02,814 --> 00:12:05,722
- You're a young man, you're fit, you're healthy.
- I'm not.
234
00:12:07,466 --> 00:12:09,572
I don't do any exercise.
235
00:12:10,568 --> 00:12:13,804
And I... I do smoke. Smoke all the time.
236
00:12:15,076 --> 00:12:16,725
My diet's shit.
237
00:12:17,943 --> 00:12:20,489
I've probably eat about
fifty units already this week.
238
00:12:20,495 --> 00:12:22,773
Yes... that... that explains a lot.
239
00:12:24,789 --> 00:12:27,474
Look... it's not all bad news. I've...
240
00:12:27,552 --> 00:12:31,312
as part of a special relationship
we have here at the clinic,
241
00:12:31,398 --> 00:12:34,971
we treat every We Cover
employee... for free.
242
00:12:34,977 --> 00:12:36,250
Just don't get fired.
243
00:12:37,046 --> 00:12:38,252
That's what I say.
244
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,245
Ag-again, I'm... I'm sorry.
245
00:12:40,569 --> 00:12:43,645
Must assure you my doctoring skills
246
00:12:43,651 --> 00:12:46,156
are... are better than my
lightening the mood skills.
247
00:12:48,597 --> 00:12:49,797
Huh!
248
00:12:50,017 --> 00:12:51,910
- Good Lord.
- What?
249
00:12:51,916 --> 00:12:53,116
I was wrong.
250
00:12:54,119 --> 00:12:56,918
It says here you can
get cancer of the elbow.
251
00:13:13,171 --> 00:13:16,942
So, tell me, have you ever
been on television before?
252
00:13:16,948 --> 00:13:19,056
Yes, once.
253
00:13:19,239 --> 00:13:22,653
- Well, I was on a train plat...
- I've done a million of these.
254
00:13:22,659 --> 00:13:25,632
I dunno what it feels
like to be nervous anymore.
255
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,526
- Well, what about stress?
- You know what's good for stress?
256
00:13:28,923 --> 00:13:30,123
Fucking.
257
00:13:31,527 --> 00:13:32,753
Well, yes...
258
00:13:32,759 --> 00:13:34,617
but I've got something better.
259
00:13:34,718 --> 00:13:37,985
I've been working on an invention
that I'd like to run past you.
260
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,554
The stress thumb.
261
00:13:40,288 --> 00:13:41,488
So...
262
00:13:41,894 --> 00:13:44,210
What, you put that up your asshole?
263
00:13:45,774 --> 00:13:47,210
No, silly...
264
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,105
You put it in your mouth.
265
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:51,834
You know,
266
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:56,546
I have a reservation at a rather
exclusive restaurant for lunch.
267
00:13:56,941 --> 00:13:59,425
Maybe you'd like to tell
me all about it then.
268
00:14:15,123 --> 00:14:16,404
You see...
269
00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:19,401
We Cover works with a
number of top clinics,
270
00:14:19,407 --> 00:14:22,400
that we immediately refer our people to.
271
00:14:22,406 --> 00:14:24,804
We wanna offer the people the...
272
00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:29,159
the level of care that we
believe, everyone deserves.
273
00:14:29,532 --> 00:14:32,540
Caring for the sick is what We Cover,
274
00:14:32,546 --> 00:14:33,859
is all about.
275
00:14:37,395 --> 00:14:39,967
You fucking asshole!
276
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,764
- Okay, um, can we...
- Watch the...
277
00:14:41,770 --> 00:14:43,896
can we stop that... that
film, can we... can we just...
278
00:14:43,902 --> 00:14:45,432
- What the?
- Okay, do...
279
00:14:45,438 --> 00:14:46,892
- Gimme the tape.
- Are you okay?
280
00:14:46,898 --> 00:14:50,268
I've spoken to BBC news, and they
promised not to run the footage.
281
00:14:50,274 --> 00:14:52,221
- Thank God it wasn't live.
- Michael...
282
00:14:52,227 --> 00:14:54,521
fire this cumstain.
283
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,727
Leave this to me.
284
00:14:55,733 --> 00:14:58,310
Uh, Daniel, I... I...
w... y-y-you know the
285
00:14:58,316 --> 00:15:00,616
issues that we discussed earlier...
286
00:15:00,622 --> 00:15:03,026
Fucking fire him!
287
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,198
- I'm afraid...
- I've got cancer.
288
00:15:08,595 --> 00:15:10,001
What?
289
00:15:10,519 --> 00:15:13,231
I've been diagnosed
with oesophageal cancer.
290
00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:18,241
So? Boo-hoo.
291
00:15:18,296 --> 00:15:21,035
- Clear your desk!
- Well obviously he's in shock.
292
00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:24,007
- That's why he was sick.
- But so fucking what?
293
00:15:24,093 --> 00:15:26,423
One in three people get cancer.
294
00:15:26,429 --> 00:15:29,025
That means that one of us
was always gonna get it.
295
00:15:29,031 --> 00:15:30,916
I'm just glad it was him.
296
00:15:30,922 --> 00:15:33,210
Oh, now Kenny, there is protocol, um...
297
00:15:33,216 --> 00:15:35,212
Daniel, maybe you should head home.
298
00:15:36,288 --> 00:15:37,488
Yeah.
299
00:15:38,191 --> 00:15:39,502
Thanks.
300
00:15:44,613 --> 00:15:47,129
I'm sor... I'm sorry, Mr West.
301
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,772
Take the cleaning bill out of his pay.
302
00:16:01,338 --> 00:16:02,654
Oh...
303
00:16:02,735 --> 00:16:05,847
hi, Daniel. Look, I know
Becca's chucked you out,
304
00:16:05,853 --> 00:16:08,146
but, honestly, we jus...
305
00:16:13,394 --> 00:16:15,596
Ash, you all right?
306
00:16:17,888 --> 00:16:19,894
You'd loose your voice.
307
00:16:20,555 --> 00:16:23,469
Your last words are just
gonna be gargles and noises.
308
00:16:23,475 --> 00:16:26,391
- It's not gonna be like that.
- My uncle had it...
309
00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,657
It was horrible.
310
00:16:29,751 --> 00:16:31,891
He just wasted away.
311
00:16:32,847 --> 00:16:35,063
I didn't even recognise him at the end.
312
00:16:35,542 --> 00:16:37,658
He just stank of death.
313
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,651
And now, you will too.
314
00:16:39,657 --> 00:16:42,156
I dunno if I can go through this again.
315
00:16:42,162 --> 00:16:44,756
Oh, honey. Come here.
316
00:16:45,146 --> 00:16:46,859
It's gonna be okay.
317
00:16:47,154 --> 00:16:48,967
He is gonna get through this,
318
00:16:48,973 --> 00:16:51,086
and we are gonna help him.
319
00:16:51,740 --> 00:16:53,265
I.. I love you.
320
00:16:53,271 --> 00:16:54,642
You too.
321
00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:57,821
Now, I really need to
get some sleep, because...
322
00:16:57,827 --> 00:16:59,626
Benny's gonna be up in a few hours.
323
00:16:59,829 --> 00:17:02,252
Everything will look
better in the morning.
324
00:17:13,356 --> 00:17:14,781
All right, come on.
325
00:17:15,871 --> 00:17:17,071
Yeah.
326
00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:24,351
Well, I wanted to...
327
00:17:25,046 --> 00:17:29,265
apologise, on behalf
of Mr West and myself,
328
00:17:29,436 --> 00:17:33,031
for any distress that
was caused yesterday.
329
00:17:34,176 --> 00:17:37,176
I... I'm sorry for
throwing up on Mr West.
330
00:17:37,182 --> 00:17:38,888
Uh, it couldn't be helped.
331
00:17:39,778 --> 00:17:42,696
I don't... I guess there
was a funny side to it.
332
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,158
- Did he... did he think it was funny?
- No.
333
00:17:47,335 --> 00:17:50,356
Anyway, um, your job here is safe.
334
00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:53,970
- That's amazing. Thank you, Michael.
- No, thank you, Daniel.
335
00:17:54,546 --> 00:17:57,165
Thank you for all your hard wor...
336
00:17:57,241 --> 00:17:58,734
for your bravery.
337
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,120
I...
338
00:18:01,616 --> 00:18:02,898
I'll just... yeah.
339
00:18:03,701 --> 00:18:04,901
Huh.
340
00:18:29,473 --> 00:18:31,182
You know I didn't want
it to end like this.
341
00:18:31,188 --> 00:18:33,297
It was... my fault.
342
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,776
I was a terrible boyfriend.
343
00:18:38,064 --> 00:18:39,979
I took you for granted.
344
00:18:41,127 --> 00:18:42,717
Spent all your money.
345
00:18:43,716 --> 00:18:45,419
Didn't give you anything back.
346
00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:48,841
We had something great..
347
00:18:50,194 --> 00:18:51,788
and I blew it.
348
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,124
Have you found somewhere to stay?
349
00:18:56,130 --> 00:18:58,617
Yeah... yeah, no, I'm staying with Ash,
350
00:18:58,623 --> 00:19:00,718
- for a bit...
- Oh.
351
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,868
Oh, right... I... I...
I thought you were...
352
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:06,257
gonna try and find a place on your own.
353
00:19:06,263 --> 00:19:08,379
Oh, well, I'll be fine.
354
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:12,154
So your arm's better then.
355
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,645
Yeah, yeah, my arm...
356
00:19:15,651 --> 00:19:18,352
my arm's fine. Everything's fine.
357
00:19:19,329 --> 00:19:22,556
Yeah, okay, I know when you're
lying to me Daniel, what's going on?
358
00:19:22,774 --> 00:19:25,789
Uh, I wasn't gonna say anything...
359
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,885
but...
360
00:19:29,891 --> 00:19:32,281
You were gonna go without telling me.
361
00:19:32,817 --> 00:19:34,943
You can't do this on your own.
362
00:19:36,115 --> 00:19:37,528
Wait a minute...
363
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,300
Are you bullshitting me?
364
00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:42,770
Look, I know I've told a few
white lies in my time, but...
365
00:19:42,939 --> 00:19:45,946
come on, people... people
don't lie about cancer.
366
00:19:51,251 --> 00:19:53,157
I want to be there for you.
367
00:20:23,591 --> 00:20:25,678
Fuck, I was*, but it hasn't
been like that for ages.
368
00:20:25,684 --> 00:20:27,513
Oh... yeah!
369
00:20:28,287 --> 00:20:30,701
- Where did we go wrong, Becca?
- We?
370
00:20:30,841 --> 00:20:32,041
Really?
371
00:20:32,863 --> 00:20:35,566
No, I just... I just couldn't trust you.
372
00:20:35,746 --> 00:20:37,356
You lied to me all the time.
373
00:20:38,652 --> 00:20:41,969
Look... full disclosure.
374
00:20:43,927 --> 00:20:45,957
I've got something else to tell you.
375
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,152
Peanut's dead.
376
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:51,683
What?
377
00:20:52,144 --> 00:20:53,344
Mmm.
378
00:20:53,829 --> 00:20:55,285
Oh, no.
379
00:20:56,329 --> 00:20:57,988
Oh, God no. I didn't...
380
00:20:58,134 --> 00:20:59,967
Well, did someone cause it?
381
00:21:00,011 --> 00:21:01,395
Was it a car?
382
00:21:01,610 --> 00:21:03,909
No... um...
383
00:21:04,551 --> 00:21:06,455
I killed him.
384
00:21:07,739 --> 00:21:09,653
It was an accident, you know. I...
385
00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:13,559
I was walking out the door, I didn't
realise he was behind me, and I...
386
00:21:14,129 --> 00:21:17,631
slammed the door on his neck.
Yeah, but it was instant...
387
00:21:18,954 --> 00:21:22,286
No. No more lies.
388
00:21:23,056 --> 00:21:25,844
It wasn't instant, it
was... I had to slam the door
389
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:28,634
three or four more times
to stop the screaming.
390
00:21:32,012 --> 00:21:33,780
Poor Peanut.
391
00:21:34,161 --> 00:21:36,438
Look, I'm gonna finish
packing my things.
392
00:21:36,444 --> 00:21:38,287
No... no! No way.
393
00:21:38,561 --> 00:21:40,473
I don't want you to move out.
394
00:21:41,094 --> 00:21:44,519
You know, like you
said, it was an accident.
395
00:21:46,297 --> 00:21:47,821
You need me right now,
396
00:21:47,827 --> 00:21:50,329
and I wanna be there for
you, every step of the way.
397
00:21:51,113 --> 00:21:52,464
I love you.
398
00:21:55,526 --> 00:21:57,172
I love you too.
399
00:22:01,182 --> 00:22:03,861
_
400
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,396
Hey... are you feeling better?
401
00:22:07,573 --> 00:22:08,870
Oh, yeah.
402
00:22:08,876 --> 00:22:11,787
Was it something you ate, or stress?
403
00:22:12,182 --> 00:22:17,189
Uh, probably stress, I... I had
just been... diagnosed with cancer.
404
00:22:19,374 --> 00:22:20,993
Yeah, right.
405
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:25,733
Well... say hello to: 'Stressthumb'.
406
00:22:25,739 --> 00:22:28,444
You place it over your
actual thumb, suck,
407
00:22:28,450 --> 00:22:30,711
and it releases essential
vitamins and minerals,
408
00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:32,746
that will melt your stress away.
409
00:22:33,022 --> 00:22:34,726
It's strawberry flavoured.
410
00:22:34,827 --> 00:22:36,452
Oh, what a...
411
00:22:36,837 --> 00:22:40,139
- great idea.
- I know, no one's ever made these before.
412
00:22:48,861 --> 00:22:52,021
_
413
00:22:55,887 --> 00:22:57,809
So you're saying 'six months'?
414
00:22:58,336 --> 00:22:59,536
Yes.
415
00:22:59,605 --> 00:23:04,629
So... so... so, Daniel
might be dead in six months.
416
00:23:04,635 --> 00:23:07,829
Yes, yes. Less even.
417
00:23:08,066 --> 00:23:09,266
Oh, my God.
418
00:23:13,629 --> 00:23:14,955
- What?
- _
419
00:23:15,558 --> 00:23:18,439
07700-900843.
420
00:23:18,445 --> 00:23:21,206
You've taken my phone,
you fucking idiot.
421
00:23:21,915 --> 00:23:23,544
Really? Uh, hang on...
422
00:23:24,524 --> 00:23:27,815
Oh, sorry I have to...
423
00:23:28,011 --> 00:23:31,021
speak to another patient about
a rather important matter.
424
00:23:31,318 --> 00:23:32,620
Um...
425
00:23:34,994 --> 00:23:36,417
Ugh!
426
00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:40,460
Ah, ha-ha-ha.
427
00:23:40,554 --> 00:23:42,205
I always forget it opens inward.
428
00:23:43,849 --> 00:23:45,708
You should get a second opinion.
429
00:23:49,364 --> 00:23:52,075
- I can take as many days off as I like,
- Uh-huh.
430
00:23:52,081 --> 00:23:55,576
people at work, who used to
ignore me, now bring me coffee,
431
00:23:55,582 --> 00:23:57,375
and everyone's just being so nice to me.
432
00:23:57,381 --> 00:23:59,775
Huh, what, even... even your folks?
433
00:23:59,781 --> 00:24:02,052
Oh yeah... I... I haven't
actually told them yet.
434
00:24:02,943 --> 00:24:05,971
You haven't, hmm? So...
435
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:09,677
- You and Becca?
- Yeah, yeah, thing's are good.
436
00:24:09,755 --> 00:24:12,811
You know I've realised I was taking
her for granted all this time so...
437
00:24:13,409 --> 00:24:16,292
- Not anymore.
- Well, proud of you dude.
438
00:24:16,784 --> 00:24:19,784
Hey, if you ever need
anything from me, just holler.
439
00:24:19,790 --> 00:24:22,612
Yeah, right now I need
you to stop pissing about,
440
00:24:22,618 --> 00:24:24,764
and lay down some suppressing fire.
441
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,342
- Gonna storm that bunker.
- Ha-ha-ha, okay...
442
00:24:27,348 --> 00:24:29,227
Locking and loading.
443
00:24:29,342 --> 00:24:32,350
Stealing and self-administering
medication is dangerous...
444
00:24:32,356 --> 00:24:33,642
and illegal.
445
00:24:33,648 --> 00:24:35,663
Can I ask wha...
446
00:24:36,555 --> 00:24:40,383
- this is in connection with?
- The missing Botox.
447
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:42,969
I've no id... I've no idea
what you're talking about.
448
00:24:42,975 --> 00:24:45,540
Ian, how do you explain your face?
449
00:24:45,749 --> 00:24:49,561
We, uh, we... we had a
crab supper last night,
450
00:24:49,567 --> 00:24:52,077
and I... I think...
I think I'm having...
451
00:24:52,256 --> 00:24:54,069
- an allergic reaction to it.
-
452
00:24:54,075 --> 00:24:56,170
Look at you, you're a mess.
453
00:24:56,176 --> 00:24:57,719
The last time you covered for Dr Leek
454
00:24:57,725 --> 00:24:59,609
you prescribed Tetracycline
to a pregnant woman.
455
00:24:59,615 --> 00:25:01,829
It could've killed her, not
to mention her unborn child.
456
00:25:01,835 --> 00:25:03,617
Thank God the pharmacist spotted it.
457
00:25:03,623 --> 00:25:05,537
No, I didn't know she was pregnant.
458
00:25:05,617 --> 00:25:07,735
She was in her third trimester!
459
00:25:09,374 --> 00:25:10,706
This is it, Iain,
460
00:25:12,159 --> 00:25:15,182
one more slip-up, and you're finished.
461
00:25:24,984 --> 00:25:27,530
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
462
00:25:28,158 --> 00:25:31,244
Okay, can I take some
details, from you first, um...
463
00:25:31,652 --> 00:25:33,147
Hey, champ...
464
00:25:33,644 --> 00:25:36,543
um, you've got a visitor
to see you, in my office.
465
00:25:36,933 --> 00:25:39,559
Can I just put you on
hold, for one second?
466
00:25:40,693 --> 00:25:44,683
- Who is it?
- Ah, your doctor. Glennis, is it?
467
00:25:50,906 --> 00:25:52,113
What is it?
468
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:54,209
- It.. it's spread, hasn't it?
- No.
469
00:25:54,215 --> 00:25:57,131
It's... it's... it's not, it's
not bad news. In fact it's...
470
00:25:57,137 --> 00:25:59,139
it's actually the opposite of bad news.
471
00:26:00,164 --> 00:26:01,651
G-g-go on.
472
00:26:02,246 --> 00:26:05,874
I'm very pleased to
say, Daniel, that you....
473
00:26:06,257 --> 00:26:08,258
you don't have cancer.
474
00:26:11,534 --> 00:26:14,731
I... I don't have cancer?
475
00:26:14,817 --> 00:26:16,427
No.
476
00:26:17,505 --> 00:26:21,309
- So... I'm... I'm not... I'm not ill?
- No!
477
00:26:23,334 --> 00:26:24,967
Oh, my God.
478
00:26:25,032 --> 00:26:28,252
Thank you, thank you,
God, I-I don't have cancer?
479
00:26:28,258 --> 00:26:30,759
No, you're, you're
as fit as a fisherman.
480
00:26:30,765 --> 00:26:32,176
Oh, my God. Um...
481
00:26:32,182 --> 00:26:33,603
If you just sign that
for me, it's just...
482
00:26:33,609 --> 00:26:34,871
it's a formality. I wouldn't...
483
00:26:34,877 --> 00:26:39,066
Oh, Th-thank you so much Dr
Glennis. I can't believe it.
484
00:26:39,072 --> 00:26:41,041
Ha-ha-ha, it's amazing.
485
00:26:41,263 --> 00:26:42,466
What, uh, what's this?
486
00:26:42,472 --> 00:26:44,069
It's just a formality, you don't...
487
00:26:44,075 --> 00:26:45,679
Uh, "I hereby agree,
488
00:26:45,685 --> 00:26:47,520
- "not to tell anyone
- ...don't have to read it all.
489
00:26:47,526 --> 00:26:50,309
"that I was misdiagnosed with
cancer." I'm not signing this!
490
00:26:50,315 --> 00:26:53,018
- I really, really need you to sign it.
- No, no way.
491
00:26:53,024 --> 00:26:56,948
You told me I had cancer. Do you
know what I've been through? Jesus!
492
00:26:57,317 --> 00:26:58,620
Please!
493
00:26:58,626 --> 00:27:00,922
If this get's out, I'm finished.
494
00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:03,134
My wife will leave me.
495
00:27:03,140 --> 00:27:05,830
She's only sticking around for
the money, what's left of it.
496
00:27:05,836 --> 00:27:07,234
She can't even bare to touch me.
497
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,833
That... that's not really my problem.
498
00:27:10,726 --> 00:27:15,704
Fine.... then you will be in breach
of doctor-patient confidentiality.
499
00:27:15,710 --> 00:27:17,703
That only works one way!
500
00:27:18,009 --> 00:27:19,209
D-does it?
501
00:27:19,705 --> 00:27:21,119
Oh, all right.
502
00:27:22,297 --> 00:27:23,806
I'll... I'll pay you.
503
00:27:24,845 --> 00:27:26,045
- How much?
-
504
00:27:27,048 --> 00:27:28,481
Fifty pounds.
505
00:27:28,487 --> 00:27:29,962
- God!
- No, sixty!
506
00:27:30,126 --> 00:27:34,345
Tell your boss, he'll be hearing
from my lawyer, first thing.
507
00:27:34,351 --> 00:27:36,961
Yeah! I'm sure my lawyer
508
00:27:36,967 --> 00:27:40,368
is gonna be very interested
to read this 'contract'.
509
00:27:40,454 --> 00:27:42,377
N-no... please!
510
00:27:42,383 --> 00:27:43,741
_
511
00:27:46,849 --> 00:27:49,959
- Fuck you cancer, fuck you.
- _
512
00:27:55,502 --> 00:27:58,978
Oh no... has it spread?
513
00:27:59,182 --> 00:28:03,588
No. No, no, i-i-it hasn't. Um...
514
00:28:06,508 --> 00:28:08,824
- Lost my dad to liver cancer last year.
-
515
00:28:08,928 --> 00:28:10,128
That's awful.
516
00:28:10,319 --> 00:28:11,817
I dunno how I'd cope.
517
00:28:12,090 --> 00:28:14,302
Yeah... the... the thing is...
518
00:28:14,615 --> 00:28:17,131
I... I don't have cancer.
519
00:28:25,108 --> 00:28:27,100
God, you're so funny.
520
00:28:32,265 --> 00:28:34,472
Hi, this is Becca, leave a message.
521
00:28:34,570 --> 00:28:39,382
Hey, babe. Listen, I'm taking
you out tonight, somewhere fancy.
522
00:28:39,569 --> 00:28:41,273
We've got something to celebrate.
523
00:28:42,802 --> 00:28:45,045
I can't remember the last
time you took me out on a date.
524
00:28:45,051 --> 00:28:48,319
Ha! Well, there'll be plenty
more dates from now on.
525
00:28:48,325 --> 00:28:49,528
Mmm, yeah...
526
00:28:49,803 --> 00:28:52,126
be it six months... two years...
527
00:28:52,132 --> 00:28:53,923
Well, who knows, you
might even out-live me.
528
00:28:55,371 --> 00:28:57,870
Well, you know, you might just be right.
529
00:28:57,876 --> 00:28:59,161
- Mmm.
- Um...
530
00:28:59,492 --> 00:29:01,354
because we're here to celebrate...
531
00:29:01,953 --> 00:29:03,895
- and...
- I just want you to know.
532
00:29:03,901 --> 00:29:06,713
that I'm going to be here for
you, throughout your illness.
533
00:29:06,884 --> 00:29:09,384
Oh, that... that means so much to me.
534
00:29:10,111 --> 00:29:11,994
- Anyway, er...
- And to think I've given up on you.
535
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,205
It's just...
536
00:29:13,559 --> 00:29:15,899
Well, I promise I won't again,
not now that you are sick.
537
00:29:19,444 --> 00:29:20,842
Um...
538
00:29:22,334 --> 00:29:25,049
- Don't take this the wrong way...
- Mmm.
539
00:29:25,551 --> 00:29:26,751
but...
540
00:29:28,980 --> 00:29:32,402
Do you only love me now,
541
00:29:32,482 --> 00:29:36,776
because of my, you know, illness?
542
00:29:42,481 --> 00:29:44,176
I'm not gonna lie to you...
543
00:29:44,853 --> 00:29:47,892
yes, but it's made you a better person.
544
00:29:48,462 --> 00:29:52,353
You're more thoughtful,
loving, and, well...
545
00:29:53,048 --> 00:29:54,394
honest.
546
00:29:56,537 --> 00:29:57,856
Wow...
547
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:01,966
it's almost like, me
getting cancer was...
548
00:30:02,038 --> 00:30:05,251
- what our relationship needed.
- Yeah.
549
00:30:06,316 --> 00:30:07,615
Cheers.
550
00:30:17,713 --> 00:30:18,978
Tomorrow...
551
00:30:19,689 --> 00:30:21,449
I'll tell her tomorrow.
552
00:30:27,622 --> 00:30:29,686
- Ooh. Shit,
- What?
553
00:30:29,692 --> 00:30:31,608
I've left my phone at the
restaurant. I have to go back.
554
00:30:31,614 --> 00:30:33,717
- Uh, do you want me to come with?
- No, no, no, no. You go in.
555
00:30:33,723 --> 00:30:35,217
Yeah, uh, I'll pop by the shop too.
556
00:30:35,223 --> 00:30:37,703
- Do you want me to get you some beers?
- Oh, you're the best.
557
00:30:48,742 --> 00:30:52,855
_
558
00:30:52,861 --> 00:30:55,168
_
559
00:30:55,541 --> 00:30:57,941
_
560
00:30:57,947 --> 00:31:00,539
_
561
00:31:00,847 --> 00:31:04,154
Dude, that's such amazing
news! You must be so relieved.
562
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,451
Yeah...
563
00:31:05,457 --> 00:31:07,164
Look, it sounds awful, but...
564
00:31:07,441 --> 00:31:10,086
having cancer all
week has been so great.
565
00:31:10,575 --> 00:31:12,270
My job's safe...
566
00:31:12,598 --> 00:31:14,457
people giving me stuff...
567
00:31:14,582 --> 00:31:16,684
- Becca's taken me back,
- That's great.
568
00:31:16,690 --> 00:31:19,987
you know, and last night she
even... she even licked my, uh...
569
00:31:20,077 --> 00:31:22,629
Licked your what? Your balls?
570
00:31:22,739 --> 00:31:25,154
No, no, um, behind there.
571
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,639
- Wow... what was that like?
- Yeah...
572
00:31:28,645 --> 00:31:31,131
yeah, no, it was... it was
all right, I guess. It was...
573
00:31:31,137 --> 00:31:32,934
a bit uncomfortable.
574
00:31:39,165 --> 00:31:40,766
I've got twenty minutes.
575
00:31:43,954 --> 00:31:46,334
And this is all gonna
end when I tell everyone.
576
00:31:46,340 --> 00:31:49,319
What do you mean "when"? You...
you haven't told Becca yet?
577
00:31:49,325 --> 00:31:52,132
No... no, I was gonna
tell her tonight but...
578
00:31:52,418 --> 00:31:54,139
You know, the right
moment didn't come up.
579
00:31:54,145 --> 00:31:55,826
Well, when is the
right moment? I mean...
580
00:31:55,832 --> 00:31:57,872
the next time she's
licking your asshole?
581
00:32:00,473 --> 00:32:02,282
This just feels wrong.
582
00:32:02,567 --> 00:32:03,767
I know.
583
00:32:04,137 --> 00:32:05,790
And not hot wrong.
584
00:32:06,062 --> 00:32:07,262
Yeah, I know.
585
00:32:10,309 --> 00:32:12,635
He's dying, we shouldn't be doing this.
586
00:32:14,503 --> 00:32:17,132
I was all ready to leave
him, and now this...
587
00:32:17,138 --> 00:32:18,535
He needs me. I feel awful.
588
00:32:18,541 --> 00:32:21,413
- I feel awful, he was my best friend.
- Yeah, and I'm his girlfriend.
589
00:32:21,419 --> 00:32:24,282
He needs me, he's got cancer,
Ash. I've got to be there for him.
590
00:32:24,288 --> 00:32:26,093
- Not sexually.
- Ugh!
591
00:32:26,099 --> 00:32:28,697
No. God, no. I can't leave him now.
592
00:32:28,703 --> 00:32:31,380
Everyone will just be saying how
much of a heartless bitch you were.
593
00:32:31,386 --> 00:32:32,920
Uh, what about you?
594
00:32:32,926 --> 00:32:35,371
Screwing your best friend's
girlfriend while he's dying.
595
00:32:35,377 --> 00:32:36,868
Not to mention your wife and baby.
596
00:32:37,007 --> 00:32:39,302
Why do bad things always happen to me?
597
00:32:41,296 --> 00:32:42,573
We should end this.
598
00:32:42,823 --> 00:32:44,023
You're right.
599
00:32:46,712 --> 00:32:49,705
- I think we should end this right now.
- We can't see each other again.
600
00:32:49,711 --> 00:32:50,920
After this one.
601
00:32:50,926 --> 00:32:54,236
Yeah, this... this is the
last one. It's the last one.
602
00:32:57,609 --> 00:32:58,959
Oh, Ash!
603
00:32:59,038 --> 00:33:00,238
Ash!
604
00:33:09,590 --> 00:33:10,790
_
605
00:33:10,796 --> 00:33:12,052
Shush.
606
00:33:12,577 --> 00:33:13,777
_
607
00:33:13,804 --> 00:33:15,702
_
608
00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:20,074
_
609
00:33:26,725 --> 00:33:27,925
Hello.
610
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,285
It's work. They want
to know where you are.
611
00:33:31,465 --> 00:33:33,989
Can you tell 'em I've...
I've left already, my love.
612
00:33:58,754 --> 00:34:02,390
If you tell her, she'll leave you.
613
00:34:03,747 --> 00:34:04,947
Will she?
614
00:34:05,548 --> 00:34:07,165
She wouldn't do that.
615
00:34:08,119 --> 00:34:09,365
Would she?
616
00:34:10,201 --> 00:34:12,426
No. No more lies.
617
00:34:16,279 --> 00:34:18,354
Hi, this is Becca. Leave a message.
618
00:34:18,411 --> 00:34:19,688
Rebecca.
619
00:34:20,666 --> 00:34:23,416
Yeah, I-I-I just want
you to know that I, uh...
620
00:34:23,783 --> 00:34:27,123
I just want you to know,
I don't have cancer!
621
00:34:28,237 --> 00:34:30,208
Yeah, it-it-it was all a mistake.
622
00:34:30,214 --> 00:34:33,131
Um, I just found out,
total misdiagnosis.
623
00:34:33,791 --> 00:34:36,300
Um, isn't that amazing? Um...
624
00:34:36,306 --> 00:34:40,599
Anyway, I-I-I can't wait to see
you and... and.. and to celebrate.
625
00:34:41,290 --> 00:34:42,884
I love you so much.
626
00:34:43,369 --> 00:34:44,678
Okay, bye.
627
00:34:52,961 --> 00:34:54,493
Oh, there you are.
628
00:34:54,571 --> 00:34:57,595
That's... so weird, I was just
leaving you a voice mess...
629
00:34:57,799 --> 00:34:58,999
Follow me.
630
00:35:01,742 --> 00:35:03,553
Here he is!
631
00:35:03,559 --> 00:35:06,061
Oh, surprise!
632
00:35:09,835 --> 00:35:13,139
Um, Daniel, I-I... I
would just like to say,
633
00:35:13,145 --> 00:35:17,520
uh, myself, Mr West and,
well everybody at We Cover
634
00:35:17,706 --> 00:35:19,327
are here for you...
635
00:35:19,394 --> 00:35:20,926
Hear, hear!
636
00:35:21,317 --> 00:35:23,918
...and, uh, a trust has
been set up in your name
637
00:35:23,924 --> 00:35:28,715
that will help go in to, uh, funding
research into oesophageal cancer.
638
00:35:29,157 --> 00:35:30,388
Wow.
639
00:35:30,478 --> 00:35:33,611
Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
640
00:35:33,617 --> 00:35:34,817
Yeah.
641
00:35:35,776 --> 00:35:36,976
Um...
642
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:38,560
Yeah, uh...
643
00:35:38,566 --> 00:35:40,863
You... you guys...
644
00:35:41,219 --> 00:35:44,719
uh, you know, you... you've been so...
645
00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:46,468
great.
646
00:35:46,609 --> 00:35:47,809
Um...
647
00:35:48,811 --> 00:35:50,718
You're not gonna believe this...
648
00:35:51,403 --> 00:35:53,123
but I...
649
00:36:02,911 --> 00:36:04,428
I love you.
650
00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:07,283
Okay.
651
00:36:08,111 --> 00:36:10,927
I remember everything
about the day I was...
652
00:36:11,011 --> 00:36:12,892
diagnosed with cancer.
653
00:36:16,324 --> 00:36:18,197
I still bear the scars.
654
00:36:19,943 --> 00:36:22,185
You are all my family, now...
655
00:36:23,449 --> 00:36:26,446
And I am your... Queen...
656
00:36:27,916 --> 00:36:29,908
of hearts.
657
00:36:30,029 --> 00:36:33,839
Queen of... Queen of hearts. Queen...
658
00:36:35,111 --> 00:36:36,676
Whoo!
659
00:36:37,140 --> 00:36:38,340
Uh, Dad!
660
00:36:38,346 --> 00:36:42,187
Humphrey Bogart died
of oesophageal cancer.
661
00:36:43,215 --> 00:36:44,895
Oh, really?
662
00:36:45,163 --> 00:36:46,363
Oh God.
663
00:36:46,369 --> 00:36:48,577
I wanted you to phone everyday.
664
00:36:48,858 --> 00:36:51,053
Yep, no, I will. Yeah.
665
00:36:51,059 --> 00:36:53,583
Uh, otherwise your mum will worry.
666
00:36:53,589 --> 00:36:54,789
Yeah.
667
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:57,769
Thanks, Dad.
668
00:36:57,988 --> 00:36:59,941
- Oh!
- Ooh.
669
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:02,684
Ah... ha-ha.
670
00:37:23,708 --> 00:37:25,917
Dr Iain Glennis speaking.
671
00:37:26,060 --> 00:37:29,220
Okay, I'm not gonna tell
anyone about your mistake.
672
00:37:30,025 --> 00:37:32,302
Ah, that is...
673
00:37:32,679 --> 00:37:36,181
absolutely wonderful.
674
00:37:36,187 --> 00:37:38,008
But you've got to do something for me.
675
00:37:38,014 --> 00:37:39,539
Yes, anything.
676
00:37:39,545 --> 00:37:42,153
We're gonna pretend I've got cancer,
677
00:37:42,222 --> 00:37:44,732
and then we're gonna
say that you cured me.
678
00:37:44,848 --> 00:37:47,145
Will people believe us? Can we do it?
679
00:37:47,151 --> 00:37:48,559
Yeah, yes.
680
00:37:48,934 --> 00:37:51,882
Yes. Yes, we can do this.
681
00:37:52,496 --> 00:37:53,748
Okay.
682
00:37:54,894 --> 00:37:56,397
I've got cancer then.
683
00:38:29,987 --> 00:38:31,229
Oh, I love you.
684
00:38:32,820 --> 00:38:34,432
You misspelled suicide.
685
00:38:37,432 --> 00:38:39,726
Mmm, you were so brave today, baby.
686
00:38:39,732 --> 00:38:41,838
Oh, I couldn't have done it without you.
687
00:38:43,424 --> 00:38:46,159
- I'm gonna check my messages.
- Mmm.
688
00:38:49,254 --> 00:38:52,847
- Mmm, there's one from you.
- You have two new messages.
689
00:38:52,853 --> 00:38:54,165
Rebecca...
690
00:38:54,953 --> 00:38:57,117
- Yeah, I-I just want you to know that...
- Arrrgh!
691
00:38:57,123 --> 00:38:59,054
- What's wrong?
- Oh, it's my cancer.
692
00:38:59,216 --> 00:39:01,921
Ooh! Oh, could you put that down
and... and just get me a glass
693
00:39:01,927 --> 00:39:04,146
- a glass of water? Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
694
00:39:04,240 --> 00:39:06,044
I've got something to tell you...
695
00:39:09,109 --> 00:39:10,338
I don't have can...
696
00:39:12,814 --> 00:39:16,198
- Well, should I take you to a hospital?
- Oh, no, no, it's been so... it's passed.
697
00:39:16,714 --> 00:39:17,914
I'm okay.
698
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,822
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah. Thanks, babe.
699
00:39:19,828 --> 00:39:22,149
Oh, God... poor thing.
700
00:39:24,032 --> 00:39:25,232
Oh...
701
00:39:29,501 --> 00:39:31,004
_
702
00:39:35,285 --> 00:39:37,379
Uh-oh! Oh!
703
00:39:37,385 --> 00:39:38,896
Hard at work, are we?
704
00:39:38,902 --> 00:39:41,256
Well, I'm only paying you
for another six months, so...
705
00:39:41,262 --> 00:39:42,792
Oh, Mr West.
706
00:39:43,574 --> 00:39:45,578
So, any news on my Stressthumbs?
707
00:39:45,584 --> 00:39:48,389
I'm sorry but it's thumb down.
708
00:39:48,395 --> 00:39:51,756
The lab boys said it was
commercially not viable.
709
00:39:51,762 --> 00:39:54,325
- I thought those trials took months.
- I fast-tracked it.
710
00:39:54,331 --> 00:39:56,544
I was just so sure they'd be a hit.
711
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:57,960
You know,
712
00:39:57,966 --> 00:40:02,744
an early lunch with Kenny West
will turn that frown upside down.
713
00:40:02,750 --> 00:40:04,726
Really? That girl from accounts
714
00:40:04,732 --> 00:40:06,861
seemed pretty upset when
you took her out last month.
715
00:40:07,062 --> 00:40:10,731
Oh, look, you have a
customer. Cancer cunt.
716
00:40:18,192 --> 00:40:20,037
_
717
00:40:20,318 --> 00:40:22,498
Okay, so that was
definitely the last time.
718
00:40:22,504 --> 00:40:24,045
Yeah, it's over.
719
00:40:24,904 --> 00:40:27,448
You know, we should be doing
nice things for Daniel, not this.
720
00:40:27,454 --> 00:40:28,654
You're right.
721
00:40:29,051 --> 00:40:32,225
Hey, I'll get him a secret cinema
ticket. They're doing Gladiator.
722
00:40:33,051 --> 00:40:34,369
Whatever, come on.
723
00:40:34,375 --> 00:40:36,949
Yeah, and I just need to...
724
00:40:37,398 --> 00:40:38,598
you know.
725
00:40:38,604 --> 00:40:40,555
Ew! I'm not waiting
around for that. Just...
726
00:40:40,561 --> 00:40:42,885
ugh, just make the bed
and let yourself out.
727
00:40:54,326 --> 00:40:56,810
_
728
00:40:56,907 --> 00:40:59,115
Hey, buddy. You okay?
729
00:40:59,204 --> 00:41:00,795
Uh, yeah, I'm good.
730
00:41:00,801 --> 00:41:02,963
Listen, they're given
me the afternoon off.
731
00:41:02,969 --> 00:41:06,785
I was thinking we could grab
a few drinks, play some pool.
732
00:41:07,190 --> 00:41:08,448
You about?
733
00:41:09,503 --> 00:41:10,703
Ash?
734
00:41:12,163 --> 00:41:14,660
- Ash, are you still there?
- Yeah, man.
735
00:41:15,043 --> 00:41:18,178
It just went really
quiet. Can barely hear you.
736
00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:20,537
Yeah, um... I'm just on the toilet.
737
00:41:20,543 --> 00:41:22,939
Oh, great. You've been
taking a dump this whole time?
738
00:41:22,945 --> 00:41:24,145
Oh, sorry.
739
00:41:25,379 --> 00:41:29,852
Um, look, you got the Game of
Thrones Blu-Ray box set, right?
740
00:41:29,858 --> 00:41:32,560
Uh, Torch-Winterfell Edition, yes.
741
00:41:32,566 --> 00:41:35,766
Could you just, um, help me
check something on the back?
742
00:41:35,772 --> 00:41:37,077
Can't it wait?
743
00:41:37,763 --> 00:41:40,138
It's just, it's kind of an emergency.
744
00:41:48,039 --> 00:41:49,341
What the fuck!
745
00:41:51,832 --> 00:41:54,928
Yeah, okay man. Uh,
what... what you wanna know?
746
00:41:55,208 --> 00:41:57,334
What special features are listed?
747
00:41:58,521 --> 00:41:59,948
Uh, photo gallery,
748
00:41:59,954 --> 00:42:03,811
anatomy of an episode featurette,
the season 7 preview...
749
00:42:06,094 --> 00:42:07,514
You're welcome.
750
00:42:15,727 --> 00:42:18,142
Oh! That's not one of mine.
751
00:42:18,148 --> 00:42:20,220
She'd kill me if I forgot to flush that.
752
00:42:24,109 --> 00:42:25,460
It's like I've won the lottery.
753
00:42:25,466 --> 00:42:28,949
- By lying about having cancer?
- It's only for six months...
754
00:42:29,238 --> 00:42:32,152
okay? And then everyone
will think I've beat it.
755
00:42:32,519 --> 00:42:36,747
And then get my life back on
track and no one will ever know...
756
00:42:36,753 --> 00:42:39,528
- I... faked cancer.
- You faked it?
757
00:42:40,707 --> 00:42:41,907
Who's that?
758
00:42:42,538 --> 00:42:44,944
Ash? What are you doing on my window?
759
00:42:44,950 --> 00:42:47,929
You... you lied to
everyone. You lied to me.
760
00:42:47,935 --> 00:42:49,275
What is going on?
761
00:42:51,441 --> 00:42:53,440
_
762
00:42:54,127 --> 00:42:56,713
- You and Becca?
- I cried for you, Daniel.
763
00:42:56,719 --> 00:43:00,090
- I cried for days, you're my best friend.
- Who's fucking my girlfriend!
764
00:43:00,096 --> 00:43:01,785
Gonna give you secret cinema tickets!
765
00:43:01,791 --> 00:43:04,411
- They're doing Gladiator!
- You've just had a baby!
766
00:43:04,417 --> 00:43:06,687
Becca's my girlfriend
and you're my best...
767
00:43:06,693 --> 00:43:08,081
Aaaah!
768
00:43:09,061 --> 00:43:10,496
Ash!
769
00:43:11,188 --> 00:43:12,388
Shit.
770
00:43:15,763 --> 00:43:16,963
Daniel?
771
00:43:17,576 --> 00:43:19,281
Dude, you still there?
772
00:43:19,927 --> 00:43:21,127
Daniel?
773
00:43:25,738 --> 00:43:28,347
- Do you wanna go to prison for murder?
- Murder?!
774
00:43:33,054 --> 00:43:34,758
Oh, for Pete's sake.
775
00:43:37,545 --> 00:43:39,246
You bastard!
776
00:43:42,709 --> 00:43:44,397
I thought you'd been arrested.
777
00:43:44,403 --> 00:43:51,409
Transcription & Sync by PopcornAWH and emeline-whovian
Proofed by PetaG for www.addic7ed.com
55852
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