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[LIVELY GUSLI STRUMMING]
2
00:00:04,985 --> 00:00:06,634
It's nightfall.
3
00:00:09,475 --> 00:00:11,164
The job of a vampire's familiar
4
00:00:11,189 --> 00:00:13,148
is not an easy one.
5
00:00:13,173 --> 00:00:14,250
It's very dangerous.
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00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:16,640
I mean, they are vampires, after all.
7
00:00:16,751 --> 00:00:18,602
We can go in now.
8
00:00:25,382 --> 00:00:26,984
Good evening, Master.
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00:00:27,009 --> 00:00:28,881
MAN [MUFFLED]: Guillermo?
10
00:00:28,906 --> 00:00:30,299
Yes, sir?
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00:00:30,324 --> 00:00:32,623
- Is that you?
- Yes, Master.
12
00:00:32,648 --> 00:00:34,186
- Okay.
- Okay, Master.
13
00:00:34,211 --> 00:00:36,538
It's time to... rise.
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00:00:36,856 --> 00:00:38,902
MAN: The... Okay.
15
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[RATTLING]
16
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:44,922
MAN: Guillermo, it is stuck.
17
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I think it is the latch.
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00:00:46,573 --> 00:00:48,140
GUILLERMO: Being a vampire's familiar
19
00:00:48,165 --> 00:00:50,010
is like being a best friend.
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00:00:50,841 --> 00:00:52,664
Who-Who's also a slave.
21
00:00:52,689 --> 00:00:54,807
MAN: Guillermo, it's too loud.-What?
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GUILLERMO: Tomorrow night marks
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the ten-year anniversary since
24
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I started working for my Master.
25
00:00:59,957 --> 00:01:03,607
I think he's planning
something pretty special.
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[WHISPERS]: I think he's
gonna make me a vampire.
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00:01:09,090 --> 00:01:10,831
MAN: This is very embarrassing.
28
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[WHISPERING]: Okay, Master.
29
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He awakens.
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[LIVELY STRUMMING]
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Very cool, Master.
32
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Very scary.
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Thank you.
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["YOU'RE DEAD" BY NORMA TANEGA PLAYING]
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♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪
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♪ They have no use for your song ♪
37
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♪ You're dead, you're
dead, you're dead ♪
38
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♪ You're dead and out of this world ♪
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♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone ♪
40
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♪ You sold out your dream to the world ♪
41
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♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ♪
42
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♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪
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- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
44
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NANDOR: Everyone?
45
00:02:09,181 --> 00:02:11,007
Nadja, Laszlo.
46
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- Yeah?
- Yes?
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Can you come downstairs
48
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for a second, please?
49
00:02:15,285 --> 00:02:17,504
Thank you, Laszlo.
50
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In your own time, Nadja. [CHUCKLES]
51
00:02:19,715 --> 00:02:21,023
Yes, good, excellent.
52
00:02:21,048 --> 00:02:22,093
So, listen.
53
00:02:22,118 --> 00:02:23,895
We have received a letter
54
00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:26,907
and I would like very
much to read it to you.
55
00:02:26,932 --> 00:02:29,203
But not here, we want
to go into the library.
56
00:02:29,228 --> 00:02:29,914
Why not here?
57
00:02:29,939 --> 00:02:31,898
I'd like to read it in there.
It's just a formality.
58
00:02:31,923 --> 00:02:32,929
It'll sound exactly the same if you
59
00:02:32,954 --> 00:02:34,739
read it here than if
you read it in there.
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00:02:34,764 --> 00:02:36,766
I'm not going to disagree with
you, but that's not the point.
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00:02:36,791 --> 00:02:38,114
NANDOR: I was a very ferocious soldier
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00:02:38,139 --> 00:02:39,836
in the Ottoman Empire.
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Which meant a lot of
killing, lot of pillaging.
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00:02:43,715 --> 00:02:47,371
People would say, "Please,
don't pillage me."
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00:02:47,396 --> 00:02:49,398
And I would say, "No.
66
00:02:49,423 --> 00:02:52,799
I'm pillaging everyone, you included."
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I was relentless.
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They would call me Nandor
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the Relentless.
70
00:03:00,145 --> 00:03:02,100
Because I just never relent.
71
00:03:02,243 --> 00:03:03,947
So I'd like very much for us
to go into there, please.
72
00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:04,742
Just a formality.
73
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,375
Come on, please, it's just a formality.
74
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,781
- You could have read it by now.
- Hmm.
75
00:03:07,806 --> 00:03:09,515
Just a formality, okay? Look,
it's not even that far.
76
00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:11,485
- Oh, fuck this, fine.
- Thank you, Laszlo.
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00:03:11,510 --> 00:03:13,730
It's just a formality, please, Nadja.
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00:03:13,755 --> 00:03:16,239
- Just a formality, thank you.
- [NADJA GROANING]
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Guillermo, the door.
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- That wasn't so bad, was it?
- [DOOR CREAKS SHUT]
81
00:03:19,893 --> 00:03:23,205
Now before we go into the
reading of the letter,
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00:03:23,230 --> 00:03:26,958
I wanted to talk about
general hygiene in the cell.
83
00:03:26,983 --> 00:03:28,008
- [GROANS]
- Last night,
84
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,425
there were all these people down there,
85
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shouting and screaming, half-drunk.
86
00:03:32,958 --> 00:03:34,508
Where did they find the alcohol?
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00:03:34,533 --> 00:03:38,052
No, they were half-drunk.
They'd been half drunk.
88
00:03:38,077 --> 00:03:39,917
- Oh.
- Please, finish a whole victim
89
00:03:39,942 --> 00:03:42,267
before moving on to a next one, okay?
90
00:03:42,292 --> 00:03:43,636
It's very unhygienic.
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00:03:43,661 --> 00:03:45,310
I think I know who's
leaving them down there,
92
00:03:45,335 --> 00:03:48,024
- but I don't want to say.
- If you've got something to say,
93
00:03:48,049 --> 00:03:50,644
- then damn well say it.
- It's not hygienic.
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00:03:50,669 --> 00:03:52,542
How dare you. [HISSES]
95
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[BOTH HISSING]
96
00:03:57,597 --> 00:03:59,792
The problems with living
with other vampires
97
00:03:59,817 --> 00:04:01,744
are the vampires I have
chosen to stay with.
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00:04:01,769 --> 00:04:03,160
[NANDOR AND LASZLO STRUGGLING]
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Nandor is like
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00:04:04,255 --> 00:04:07,214
a big turkey just walking around
101
00:04:07,239 --> 00:04:09,311
trying to control
everything on the farm.
102
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- Hyah!
- [LASZLO SNARLS]
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NADJA: And Laszlo is my big, crazy,
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wild bear and we love to chase
each other around the house.
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- I ought to fucking kill you!
- [PANICKED YELLING]
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00:04:17,919 --> 00:04:20,053
We have a great time together.
107
00:04:21,874 --> 00:04:23,932
LASZLO: I was the most handsome man
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in our village.
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00:04:25,092 --> 00:04:26,722
His village was very badly affected
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by leprosy and the plague.
111
00:04:28,849 --> 00:04:30,284
That's true.
112
00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:33,082
And I, myself, did contract leprosy,
113
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but I was quite lucky
'cause it couldn't be seen.
114
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It was only one part of my anatomy.
115
00:04:37,262 --> 00:04:38,872
Well, I can see it.
116
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Anyway, one night,
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I was awoken by this...
118
00:04:43,810 --> 00:04:46,354
horrible clawing at the window.
119
00:04:46,379 --> 00:04:47,902
And I thought, "Who the hell is that?
120
00:04:47,927 --> 00:04:49,917
'Cause I live on the third floor."
121
00:04:49,942 --> 00:04:52,837
So I went to investigate it,
I threw back the curtain...
122
00:04:52,862 --> 00:04:56,463
Well, I saw the most beautiful
woman I had ever seen.
123
00:04:56,488 --> 00:04:59,216
But she was gripping the window
124
00:04:59,241 --> 00:05:00,956
and she was clawing at the glass.
125
00:05:00,981 --> 00:05:02,577
I was hypnotized.
126
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:04,263
I used hypnosis on him.
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00:05:04,288 --> 00:05:05,849
Which I found out later.
128
00:05:05,874 --> 00:05:08,185
Anyway, obviously I invited her in.
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00:05:08,210 --> 00:05:09,727
We were about to make love
130
00:05:09,752 --> 00:05:13,487
when she turned into this
hideous, leathery bat thing.
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She drained me of my blood,
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00:05:15,843 --> 00:05:18,724
giving me the curse of eternal life
133
00:05:18,749 --> 00:05:20,794
and thus making me a bloodthirsty
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00:05:20,819 --> 00:05:22,656
creature of the night.
135
00:05:23,583 --> 00:05:25,019
[HISSING]
136
00:05:25,044 --> 00:05:27,538
[BOTH HISSING]
137
00:05:27,563 --> 00:05:29,050
- [HISSES]
- [THUDS]
138
00:05:29,075 --> 00:05:31,987
Why don't we just write
on them with marker pen?
139
00:05:32,012 --> 00:05:33,222
Put our names and the date?
140
00:05:33,247 --> 00:05:34,294
LASZLO: Oh, that's a good suggestion.
141
00:05:34,319 --> 00:05:35,878
- NADJA: Yeah.
- Good idea, Nadja.
142
00:05:36,099 --> 00:05:37,519
Marker pens, Guillermo.
143
00:05:37,544 --> 00:05:39,006
Make sure they're permanent.
144
00:05:39,031 --> 00:05:40,389
- Sharpie.
- LASZLO: Genius.
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00:05:40,414 --> 00:05:43,678
- NADJA: With date, as well.
- Yes, great thinking, Nadja.
146
00:05:43,703 --> 00:05:47,182
- And yes, this... yes.
- The name of the month, day, year.
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00:05:47,207 --> 00:05:48,339
Okay.
148
00:05:48,510 --> 00:05:50,101
And now we come...
149
00:05:50,126 --> 00:05:52,356
to the reading... of the letter.
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00:05:52,381 --> 00:05:53,952
- [GROANS]
- At last.
151
00:05:53,977 --> 00:05:55,980
Guillermo? Close the door.
152
00:05:56,396 --> 00:05:59,068
- The door's closed, Master.
- Close it more.
153
00:06:00,301 --> 00:06:01,738
More.
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00:06:02,977 --> 00:06:04,327
Good.
155
00:06:04,352 --> 00:06:05,847
- Now that we are gathered here...
- [SNARLING]
156
00:06:05,872 --> 00:06:08,183
together as one, finally,
157
00:06:08,208 --> 00:06:09,808
in accordance with the protocols...
158
00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:10,990
Which you made up.
159
00:06:11,015 --> 00:06:12,666
Yes.
160
00:06:13,194 --> 00:06:15,460
We have received this letter.
161
00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:19,381
From Baron... Afanas.
162
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:24,569
Really?
163
00:06:24,594 --> 00:06:25,762
Yes.
164
00:06:27,123 --> 00:06:28,879
NANDOR: How do you...
165
00:06:28,904 --> 00:06:30,516
- GUILLERMO: Like that.
- Shh.
166
00:06:30,751 --> 00:06:32,353
The Baron...
167
00:06:34,704 --> 00:06:36,701
is coming to visit us.
168
00:06:36,726 --> 00:06:38,120
Holy shit.
169
00:06:38,145 --> 00:06:39,444
Silence, Guillermo.
170
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Vampire comments only.
171
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The Baron never leaves the old country.
172
00:06:42,612 --> 00:06:45,449
Has he told us what the
purposeof his visit is?
173
00:06:46,790 --> 00:06:48,096
Uh...
174
00:06:49,405 --> 00:06:50,291
No.
175
00:06:50,316 --> 00:06:51,756
LASZLO: The Baron is a firm believer
176
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that vampires should rule the world.
177
00:06:53,827 --> 00:06:56,834
I think the main purpose
for the Baron's visit
178
00:06:56,985 --> 00:06:58,587
is to find out whether we as vampires
179
00:06:58,612 --> 00:07:00,671
have populated America.
180
00:07:01,275 --> 00:07:02,527
But as you can see,
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the place is fucking massive.
182
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When is he coming, exactly?
183
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- Tomorrow.
- Shit.
184
00:07:08,037 --> 00:07:09,421
NANDOR: Why didn't you
give this to me earlier?
185
00:07:09,446 --> 00:07:11,143
It arrived this morning, Master.
186
00:07:11,394 --> 00:07:12,699
[HISSES]
187
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,326
NADJA: Baron Afanas is...
188
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:17,233
a very charming member
of the vampire royalty.
189
00:07:17,258 --> 00:07:18,311
A few hundred years ago,
190
00:07:18,336 --> 00:07:21,673
we enjoyed a very intense,
very long sexual affair.
191
00:07:21,698 --> 00:07:23,555
It was pretty wild.
192
00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:25,248
Lots of acrobatic stuff.
193
00:07:25,273 --> 00:07:26,863
This could make it awkward,
194
00:07:26,888 --> 00:07:29,451
to see him with Laszlo...
195
00:07:29,940 --> 00:07:31,453
present.
196
00:07:31,478 --> 00:07:33,162
LASZLO: Just between you and I,
197
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:34,998
a while back, the Baron and I
198
00:07:35,023 --> 00:07:38,250
enjoyed a very intense sex affair.
199
00:07:38,323 --> 00:07:40,170
Very animalistic.
200
00:07:40,195 --> 00:07:42,297
Acrobatic stuff, you might say.
201
00:07:42,322 --> 00:07:43,459
So I, personally,
202
00:07:43,484 --> 00:07:46,467
am very much looking
forward to reconnecting.
203
00:07:46,622 --> 00:07:49,012
We should get a chariot led by
204
00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:51,342
12 black alligators.
205
00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:53,282
- I like that.
- That's a lot of alligators,
206
00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:54,767
a lot of paint.
207
00:07:54,792 --> 00:07:56,233
What about a van?
208
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:58,304
A van? [GROANS]
209
00:07:58,329 --> 00:07:59,370
That's not the same, is it?
210
00:07:59,395 --> 00:08:01,397
Can you at least make sure it's black?
211
00:08:01,612 --> 00:08:04,142
Yeah. Black van for tomorrow?
212
00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:07,260
Excellent. Uh, what about
the Baron's bloodlust?
213
00:08:07,285 --> 00:08:09,272
- Virgins.
- Oh, yes, let's do that.
214
00:08:09,297 --> 00:08:11,201
Guillermo, two virgins
by tomorrow evening.
215
00:08:11,226 --> 00:08:12,756
- [NADJA CHUCKLING]
- Yes, when the Baron arrives
216
00:08:12,781 --> 00:08:14,870
we shall feast on virgin blood.
217
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,915
[BOTH CACKLING]
218
00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:20,377
[VAMPIRES LAUGHING]
219
00:08:20,971 --> 00:08:22,582
[GUILLERMO CHUCKLING]
220
00:08:22,607 --> 00:08:24,300
Vampire only laughing.
221
00:08:24,325 --> 00:08:26,182
- Should we tell Colin Robinson?
- Laszlo,
222
00:08:26,207 --> 00:08:28,010
- that is a terrible idea.
- [LASZLO CLEARS THROAT]
223
00:08:28,035 --> 00:08:29,803
He'll ruin the evening.
224
00:08:30,322 --> 00:08:32,227
Uh, what would ruin the evening?
225
00:08:32,252 --> 00:08:35,265
I told you... didn't close
the door properly.
226
00:08:36,128 --> 00:08:38,270
Are we having a house meeting?
227
00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:41,565
- No.
- No.
228
00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:44,483
So, your gathering here...
229
00:08:44,508 --> 00:08:46,319
is just a coincidence?
230
00:08:47,071 --> 00:08:48,613
Yes.
231
00:08:49,223 --> 00:08:51,373
COLIN: My name is Colin Robinson.
232
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,268
And I am what's known as
233
00:08:53,293 --> 00:08:55,446
a psychic vampire.
234
00:08:55,471 --> 00:08:57,211
Or energy vampire.
235
00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:58,998
This is my office.
236
00:08:59,023 --> 00:09:01,684
Also known as the hunting ground.
237
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,017
Hi, Deb.
238
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,522
Energy vampires drain people's energy
239
00:09:05,547 --> 00:09:07,627
merely by talking to them.
240
00:09:07,652 --> 00:09:10,331
Actual v. Budget,
year-to-date, no thanks.
241
00:09:10,356 --> 00:09:11,970
You're gonna be at that all day.
242
00:09:11,995 --> 00:09:13,953
We either bore you
243
00:09:13,978 --> 00:09:15,597
with a long conversation...
244
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:18,143
Feeling better now, I was a
little sick this weekend.
245
00:09:18,168 --> 00:09:20,270
[INHALES SHARPLY]
246
00:09:20,295 --> 00:09:21,949
Hey, Don.
247
00:09:21,974 --> 00:09:23,064
Don?
248
00:09:23,089 --> 00:09:25,232
I have to pee, too.
249
00:09:25,257 --> 00:09:26,245
Or...
250
00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:27,159
Hey.
251
00:09:27,184 --> 00:09:28,010
We enrage you.
252
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,301
[SHARPENER WHINING, WHIRRING]
253
00:09:30,326 --> 00:09:33,289
In fact, you probably
know an energy vampire.
254
00:09:33,314 --> 00:09:35,141
We're the most common kind...
255
00:09:35,166 --> 00:09:36,785
of vampire.
256
00:09:36,890 --> 00:09:38,574
[SHARPENER SCREECHING, WHIRRING]
257
00:09:38,599 --> 00:09:41,504
We are day-walkers, not
affected by the sun.
258
00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:43,245
[SHARPENER SCREECHING]
259
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:46,671
And we are the only kind of vampire
260
00:09:46,696 --> 00:09:49,382
that can drain another vampire's energy.
261
00:09:50,537 --> 00:09:52,634
It's very cool.
262
00:09:54,573 --> 00:09:57,846
The power grows stronger
in him by the night.
263
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,851
[SNORING]
264
00:10:04,307 --> 00:10:07,024
GUILLERMO: There's different
kinds of jobs that I have to do.
265
00:10:07,124 --> 00:10:09,235
Keep the house tidy.
266
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,029
Make sure there's no sunlight.
267
00:10:11,054 --> 00:10:13,579
["DANSE MACABRE" BY SAINT-SAENS PLAYING]
268
00:10:13,604 --> 00:10:15,870
[MIMICKING NANDOR]: Sunlight!
Why, Guillermo,
269
00:10:15,895 --> 00:10:19,909
why?!
270
00:10:20,874 --> 00:10:22,624
Not on my watch.
271
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,682
Getting rid of carcasses,
272
00:10:25,707 --> 00:10:28,046
I feel, is a big one.
273
00:10:31,825 --> 00:10:35,508
So, we are under the stairs
and this is my bedroom.
274
00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:36,382
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
275
00:10:36,407 --> 00:10:39,599
This is a picture of me as Armand
276
00:10:39,624 --> 00:10:41,440
from Interview with the Vampire.
277
00:10:41,465 --> 00:10:43,135
Played by Antonio Banderas.
278
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,688
That was the first time I've ever seen
279
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,377
an Hispanic vampire
280
00:10:47,402 --> 00:10:50,666
in mainstream, like, movies.
281
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,607
And I said, "If he can do it, I-I...
282
00:10:53,632 --> 00:10:55,740
[SCOFFS] I can do it."
283
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,870
Guillermo... boarded
this whole window up,
284
00:10:57,895 --> 00:10:59,494
it's a huge sunlight risk.
285
00:10:59,519 --> 00:11:01,260
We wouldn't want the Baron
waking up to sunlight
286
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,197
and being turned into barbecue meat.
287
00:11:03,222 --> 00:11:04,268
Yeah, really cover it.
288
00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:06,709
He's made a lot of
comments recently, like,
289
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,961
"I'm going to make you a vampire."
290
00:11:08,986 --> 00:11:11,772
This is a little coffin toy that, uh...
291
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,842
I hope to be in one of these one day.
292
00:11:14,414 --> 00:11:16,416
What ho, good friends.
293
00:11:16,441 --> 00:11:18,262
LARPERS: What ho!
294
00:11:18,287 --> 00:11:21,641
There's still a few
places to find virgins.
295
00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:24,434
LARPing stands for Live
Action Role Playing.
296
00:11:24,459 --> 00:11:27,355
In regular life, I'm just Jonathan.
297
00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:30,346
But here, I am a very
high-level paladin.
298
00:11:30,371 --> 00:11:31,878
GUILLERMO: I'm not a killer.
299
00:11:31,903 --> 00:11:34,667
I find people who are easy...
300
00:11:34,692 --> 00:11:37,114
to... kill.
301
00:11:37,139 --> 00:11:38,950
Is that a 14th-century battle-ax?
302
00:11:38,975 --> 00:11:40,315
Oh, it's so exciting.
303
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:42,786
Uh, will we be able to touch the swords?
304
00:11:43,508 --> 00:11:45,372
Oh, you'll touch the swords.
305
00:11:48,062 --> 00:11:49,760
NADJA: We moved here from Europe
306
00:11:49,785 --> 00:11:52,135
about 200 years ago because there was
307
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,686
a lot of prejudice against
vampires at that time.
308
00:11:55,711 --> 00:11:56,799
[PEOPLE CLAMORING]
309
00:11:56,824 --> 00:12:00,262
- [EXPLOSIONS, GUNFIRE]
- [MAN GROANS]
310
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,932
They don't like the color of our skin.
311
00:12:02,114 --> 00:12:04,595
Or the fact that we
killed and ate people.
312
00:12:04,983 --> 00:12:06,561
Probably more that.
313
00:12:07,376 --> 00:12:10,398
LASZLO: We're being very
careful not to stand out,
314
00:12:10,423 --> 00:12:12,382
which is why we're both dressed down.
315
00:12:12,612 --> 00:12:15,487
- Uh, good evening.
- Go back to your own country.
316
00:12:15,512 --> 00:12:17,533
What the fuck did you just say?
317
00:12:17,565 --> 00:12:19,010
You heard me, Ghost of
Christmas Past bitch.
318
00:12:19,035 --> 00:12:20,421
Oh, Mike, shut up.
319
00:12:20,446 --> 00:12:24,057
Silence to you. We've
been here since 1861.
320
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,790
At least, our families have.
321
00:12:26,815 --> 00:12:28,415
Begone.
322
00:12:28,869 --> 00:12:31,132
We should just suck their
blood, I'm absolutely starving.
323
00:12:31,157 --> 00:12:32,724
- They're perfect.
- No, I'm furious.
324
00:12:32,749 --> 00:12:34,495
He just insulted me, I'm in fifth gear.
325
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,174
- We should kill them.
- Yes, that's what I'm saying.
326
00:12:36,199 --> 00:12:38,426
- We should suck their blood.
- Yes.
327
00:12:38,451 --> 00:12:39,756
[BOTH MOANING]
328
00:12:39,781 --> 00:12:41,637
- LASZLO: Now?
- NADJA: Wait. Wait, darling.
329
00:12:41,662 --> 00:12:43,598
- Now?
- Now!
330
00:12:43,623 --> 00:12:46,260
What? [GRUNTS]
331
00:12:46,285 --> 00:12:47,784
- Mike?
- [SLURPING, MIKE GROANING]
332
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:49,407
Where the fuck are you?
333
00:12:49,432 --> 00:12:51,557
[SNARLING, GULPING]
334
00:12:51,582 --> 00:12:53,482
What the fuck?
335
00:12:56,377 --> 00:12:58,640
Yum, yum, yum. He was delicious.
336
00:12:58,665 --> 00:13:00,018
Now, listen, I don't know about you,
337
00:13:00,043 --> 00:13:02,424
but I'm very much in the mood
for some sexual intercourse.
338
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,405
[BOTH LAUGHING]
339
00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:07,428
Darling. Right next
to the public toilet?
340
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,971
Yes. But why don't I get home,
341
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,626
get cleaned up, then we can
carry on with our love-making.
342
00:13:11,805 --> 00:13:14,025
Um, I'm going to walk home.
343
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:16,130
- [CHUCKLES]
- Why the hell would you do that?
344
00:13:16,155 --> 00:13:17,471
Why would you walk home?
345
00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:19,455
When you could turn into a bat?
346
00:13:20,078 --> 00:13:21,385
Bat!
347
00:13:22,905 --> 00:13:24,820
[BAT SQUEAKING]
348
00:13:27,147 --> 00:13:28,977
NANDOR: I would like some of that, uh,
349
00:13:29,002 --> 00:13:31,979
colorful dust that sparkles.
350
00:13:32,130 --> 00:13:34,064
- Glitter?
- Yes.
351
00:13:34,089 --> 00:13:35,438
Get me some glitter.
352
00:13:35,463 --> 00:13:37,073
Whatever for, Master?
353
00:13:37,098 --> 00:13:38,882
Oh, I want to do something special
354
00:13:38,907 --> 00:13:40,839
for the Immortal One's arrival.
355
00:13:40,864 --> 00:13:43,991
I'm going to sprinkle it
on my face and on my body.
356
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,369
Like Twilight.
357
00:13:47,730 --> 00:13:50,716
So deliciously macabre.
358
00:13:50,741 --> 00:13:53,657
- Creepy paper.
- It's crepe paper.
359
00:13:53,682 --> 00:13:56,293
- Creepy paper.
- It's crepe paper, Master.
360
00:13:56,318 --> 00:13:59,132
Creepy... Oh, multipack.
361
00:13:59,527 --> 00:14:02,093
Master, this is pretty "macarbre."
362
00:14:02,428 --> 00:14:04,387
[GROANS]
363
00:14:04,537 --> 00:14:07,515
[GASPS, SCREAMS]
364
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:10,518
NANDOR: Guillermo is my familiar,
365
00:14:10,543 --> 00:14:13,587
but sometimes he's a little
toofamiliar, you know what I mean?
366
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:15,229
I mean, he's always just there.
367
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:16,721
I think it's good, Master.
368
00:14:16,746 --> 00:14:18,338
NANDOR: I mean, he works really hard,
369
00:14:18,363 --> 00:14:19,596
he's just not great at it.
370
00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:21,776
Guillermo, my cape is stuck.
371
00:14:21,801 --> 00:14:23,411
[GUILLERMO GRUNTS]
372
00:14:23,436 --> 00:14:24,741
I don't like saying this kind of thing
373
00:14:24,766 --> 00:14:26,284
in front of him, of course.
374
00:14:27,656 --> 00:14:29,033
Sorry, Guillermo.
375
00:14:29,058 --> 00:14:31,627
I don't like saying this kind
of thing in front of you.
376
00:14:31,652 --> 00:14:33,291
That's okay, Master.
377
00:14:33,553 --> 00:14:36,940
[SCANNER BEEPING]
378
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,175
Lot of glitter.
379
00:14:42,753 --> 00:14:44,494
- Cash or card?
- Credit.
380
00:14:44,519 --> 00:14:46,137
You cannot pay with that.
381
00:14:46,995 --> 00:14:48,530
GUILLERMO: I'm so sorry.
382
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,600
- Did you just throw a coin at me?
- Yes.
383
00:14:50,625 --> 00:14:52,769
Sir, you can't be throwing
ancient coins at me.
384
00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:54,722
- Just... Credit card's fine.
- Guillermo, stab this man.
385
00:14:54,747 --> 00:14:56,732
- He's joking.
- Stab him.
386
00:14:56,757 --> 00:14:59,108
- Ahh...
- Thank you.
387
00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:00,499
- I tried, and...
- Here you go, man.
388
00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:02,365
- Thank you so much.
- You kind of disobeyed me just now.
389
00:15:02,390 --> 00:15:04,697
And I'm noting it.
390
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:11,830
NADJA: Recently I have
been seeing another man.
391
00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:14,576
[RASPING GROWL]
392
00:15:14,758 --> 00:15:19,003
He doesn't see me, though,
because I sneak behind him.
393
00:15:24,152 --> 00:15:26,177
I watch him in the night,
394
00:15:26,202 --> 00:15:28,262
in secret.
395
00:15:41,753 --> 00:15:43,780
In the old country, centuries ago,
396
00:15:43,805 --> 00:15:46,215
I was in a very passionate love affair
397
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,490
with a human man called Gregor.
398
00:15:48,664 --> 00:15:50,446
He was a knight.
399
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:53,161
He got decapitated in battle.
400
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,861
I don't think I ever
really got over Gregor.
401
00:15:55,886 --> 00:15:57,501
Even when I met Laszlo.
402
00:15:57,526 --> 00:15:59,603
June, I've lost my boot.
403
00:15:59,628 --> 00:16:01,546
June?
404
00:16:01,986 --> 00:16:03,540
Come on, June.
405
00:16:03,565 --> 00:16:05,925
The man I saw last night,
406
00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:07,468
I think it is him.
407
00:16:07,493 --> 00:16:10,970
I think it is my reincarnated
ex-boyfriend Gregor,
408
00:16:10,995 --> 00:16:12,579
with his head.
409
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:13,782
LASZLO: Put it on, June.
410
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,935
- Shut up, Laszlo!
- Yes, there we are.
411
00:16:16,262 --> 00:16:17,916
Boot on.
412
00:16:20,454 --> 00:16:22,630
Okay, it's just down here somewhere.
413
00:16:22,655 --> 00:16:25,275
Why haven't I been to this
part of the house before?
414
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:26,738
It's so lovely.
415
00:16:26,763 --> 00:16:28,661
- No one has for 80 years.
- [GASPS] Gorgeous.
416
00:16:28,686 --> 00:16:29,775
What are we doing down here?
417
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,889
There is a chamber, okay?
418
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,878
It's going to be perfect
for the bloodfeast.
419
00:16:33,903 --> 00:16:35,643
If we have the ceremony in here,
420
00:16:35,668 --> 00:16:37,915
then you-know-who won't
even need to know.
421
00:16:37,940 --> 00:16:39,768
I mean Colin.
422
00:16:39,793 --> 00:16:42,752
- Colin, what are you doing in here?
- Oh...
423
00:16:42,777 --> 00:16:45,885
This is my bedroom. I'm resting.
424
00:16:45,910 --> 00:16:47,175
[DOOR CREAKING]
425
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,841
- [HISSING]
- You idiot.
426
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:50,324
I didn't know he was gonna be in there.
427
00:16:50,349 --> 00:16:51,853
- Why didn't you check?
- [STAMMERING]
428
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:54,536
It's fine, we're gonna have
the ceremony in the attic.
429
00:16:54,561 --> 00:16:56,728
We can't, the StairMaster's in there.
430
00:16:56,753 --> 00:16:58,935
Well, we're going to
move the StairMaster.
431
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,188
[SHIP'S HORN BELLOWS]
432
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:03,356
LASZLO: Is it definitely this boat?
433
00:17:04,243 --> 00:17:05,723
NANDOR: There he is.
434
00:17:05,748 --> 00:17:07,195
NADJA: I knew he'd have a big box.
435
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:10,092
June, you need to go and fetch him.
436
00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,992
[SHIP'S HORN BELLOWS]
437
00:17:13,017 --> 00:17:14,889
WHARFINGER: Sir, I just need
someone to sign for it.
438
00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:18,206
- Where's the pen?
- So, the tablet is the paper.
439
00:17:18,231 --> 00:17:20,374
Your finger is the pen.
440
00:17:20,399 --> 00:17:22,749
Okay, that's weird.
441
00:17:22,774 --> 00:17:24,252
Okay, that's nothing.
442
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,464
Both of you, for some reason,
aren't registering here.
443
00:17:26,489 --> 00:17:28,025
You got long nails maybe or something?
444
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:28,924
Would you like a go, Laszlo?
445
00:17:28,949 --> 00:17:31,095
- Do you have a quill?
- No, it's all digital.
446
00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:32,160
Then I'm not signing that.
447
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,472
Guillermo, give me your hand.
448
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:37,075
- Ah.
- Okay!
449
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,519
GUILLERMO: I think the
baron might be here
450
00:17:40,544 --> 00:17:42,479
to see me become a vampire.
451
00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:45,464
That would be really cool.
452
00:17:45,489 --> 00:17:48,527
[INHALES SHARPLY] I'm ready.
453
00:17:48,552 --> 00:17:50,446
[EXHALES]
454
00:17:51,998 --> 00:17:54,366
NADJA: I should be preparing
for the bloodfeast,
455
00:17:54,391 --> 00:17:57,285
but I can't seem to stay
away from new Gregor.
456
00:17:57,310 --> 00:18:01,372
[WHISPERS]: Man. Human man. Man!
457
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:05,447
- S-Sorry, what did you say?
- Gregor,
458
00:18:05,472 --> 00:18:06,647
it is you.
459
00:18:06,723 --> 00:18:08,564
Oh, my name is Jeff.
460
00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:11,046
- Jeff?
- J-Jeff Suckler.
461
00:18:11,071 --> 00:18:14,303
My sweet Greg... Jeff S...
462
00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:16,335
Really... J-Jeff Suckler?
463
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,892
- Yeah.
- Ew.
464
00:18:19,173 --> 00:18:23,520
[SOMBER ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS]
465
00:18:25,298 --> 00:18:27,482
I call that "Nadja's Theme."
466
00:18:28,053 --> 00:18:29,967
[CLOCK CHIMING]
467
00:18:33,687 --> 00:18:35,558
[CHIMING STOPS]
468
00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:37,743
Guillermo, are the
virgins arriving soon?
469
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:40,206
They should be any minute now, Master.
470
00:18:40,231 --> 00:18:41,586
- Fingers crossed.
- [HISSING]
471
00:18:41,611 --> 00:18:42,572
Sorry.
472
00:18:42,597 --> 00:18:44,416
Don't do that.
473
00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:46,233
[DOORBELL RINGS]
474
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:49,003
Ah. Dinner is served.
475
00:18:49,316 --> 00:18:50,589
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum....
476
00:18:50,614 --> 00:18:51,674
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
477
00:18:51,699 --> 00:18:53,884
Hello. [CHUCKLES] So
glad you could make it.
478
00:18:53,909 --> 00:18:55,678
Please come in, quickly.
479
00:18:55,825 --> 00:18:58,067
[QUIET, INDISTINCT CHATTER]
480
00:18:58,531 --> 00:19:01,350
Everyone, this is Jenna and Jonathan.
481
00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:02,685
- Hi.
- Hi.
482
00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:03,525
Are you virgins?
483
00:19:03,550 --> 00:19:04,372
LASZLO: Mm.
484
00:19:04,397 --> 00:19:05,979
I don't see how that's relevant.
485
00:19:06,004 --> 00:19:07,181
- Mm.
- I'm actually
486
00:19:07,206 --> 00:19:09,149
in a relationship online,
487
00:19:09,174 --> 00:19:11,652
but we've yet to meet IRL.
488
00:19:11,922 --> 00:19:13,862
Well done, Guillermo.
489
00:19:14,176 --> 00:19:15,351
Yeah.
490
00:19:15,376 --> 00:19:16,726
JONATHAN: All right, okay, let's do it.
491
00:19:16,751 --> 00:19:19,711
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
492
00:19:19,736 --> 00:19:21,662
Are they a vampire LARP group?
493
00:19:21,687 --> 00:19:23,556
Yeah, well, why don't we wait in here?
494
00:19:23,581 --> 00:19:25,457
The party's gonna start
in a few minutes,
495
00:19:25,482 --> 00:19:28,118
so we can just hang out, and
I'll come get you when...
496
00:19:28,143 --> 00:19:30,378
[PEOPLE MOANING, MUTTERING]
497
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,926
GUILLERMO: No. No, no, no!
No, no, no, no.
498
00:19:31,951 --> 00:19:34,040
No, no, no. I said no!
499
00:19:34,065 --> 00:19:36,176
[INDISTINCT MUTTERING,
GROANING CONTINUES]
500
00:19:36,201 --> 00:19:37,637
[GUILLERMO EXHALES]
501
00:19:37,662 --> 00:19:40,491
We take our LARPing very seriously.
502
00:19:40,516 --> 00:19:43,978
And that was just an example.
I wanted you to see that.
503
00:19:44,003 --> 00:19:45,852
I'm inspired.
504
00:19:46,041 --> 00:19:48,273
So, are you a knight?
505
00:19:48,407 --> 00:19:50,888
Yeah, I'm... Well, no, uh, sorry.
506
00:19:50,913 --> 00:19:53,121
I thought you were gonna
say "night watchman."
507
00:19:53,146 --> 00:19:54,487
I'm a-I'm a night watchman
508
00:19:54,512 --> 00:19:56,113
Mmm.
509
00:19:56,289 --> 00:19:58,639
Protector of the people.
510
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,231
Oh, no, not-not really.
511
00:20:00,256 --> 00:20:04,306
[LAUGHING LOUDLY]
512
00:20:05,625 --> 00:20:08,792
Oh, my sweet Gregor-Jeff,
513
00:20:08,817 --> 00:20:12,088
I forgot how much ofa
fantastic raconteur you were.
514
00:20:12,113 --> 00:20:13,439
- [LAUGHING]
- Oh, yeah.
515
00:20:13,464 --> 00:20:14,639
Oh, yeah, yeah.
516
00:20:14,664 --> 00:20:16,318
Ooh, do you remember that first time
517
00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:18,997
that we made love, and
it was so passionate
518
00:20:19,022 --> 00:20:20,704
that I accidentally cut off your head?
519
00:20:20,729 --> 00:20:22,540
- No. What?
- Mm!
520
00:20:22,565 --> 00:20:25,095
But then I kept going, squeezing
521
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,212
until my needs were met. Hmm.
522
00:20:27,237 --> 00:20:29,065
We should do that again.
523
00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:31,744
But I mustn't. But I want to.
524
00:20:31,769 --> 00:20:32,556
But you can't.
525
00:20:32,581 --> 00:20:34,801
But I have been married
for such a long time.
526
00:20:34,826 --> 00:20:37,029
- [LAUGHING]
- Oh.
527
00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:40,324
[GROANING VIOLENTLY]
528
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:42,636
- I must go.
- Okay.
529
00:20:42,661 --> 00:20:43,728
Let me just get your
number before you go...
530
00:20:43,753 --> 00:20:44,337
[BAT SQUEAKING]
531
00:20:44,362 --> 00:20:46,368
so we can... I can...
we can do that again.
532
00:20:46,393 --> 00:20:47,720
Uh...
533
00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:51,293
♪
534
00:20:52,864 --> 00:20:54,518
- You're late.
- NANDOR: Throw it.
535
00:20:54,543 --> 00:20:56,414
That's it.
536
00:20:56,439 --> 00:20:57,758
Okay, Guillermo.
537
00:20:57,935 --> 00:21:02,929
We three... not counting Guillermo...
or June...
538
00:21:04,268 --> 00:21:05,556
or you...
539
00:21:05,581 --> 00:21:08,683
are gathered here in
accordance with the ancient...
540
00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:09,704
Get on with it.
541
00:21:09,729 --> 00:21:10,931
- NADJA: Get on with it.
- Guys.
542
00:21:10,956 --> 00:21:13,040
In bearings with the ordinance-[HISSES]
543
00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:16,112
of the nine generations
that have surpassed us
544
00:21:16,137 --> 00:21:19,154
before this historic
and memorable moment.
545
00:21:19,179 --> 00:21:20,702
[GROANS]
546
00:21:20,727 --> 00:21:23,991
Guillermo, open the casket
547
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:27,155
of Baron Afanas.
548
00:21:27,442 --> 00:21:29,580
- [METAL CLICKING]
- Oh...
549
00:21:29,605 --> 00:21:31,389
Oh, it opens all by itself.
550
00:21:31,414 --> 00:21:33,416
It's so cool.
551
00:21:34,478 --> 00:21:38,221
♪ In nomine Patris ♪
552
00:21:38,246 --> 00:21:42,294
♪ Et Filii ♪
553
00:21:42,319 --> 00:21:46,850
♪ Et Spiritus Sancti... ♪
554
00:21:48,261 --> 00:21:49,992
- [CRUNCHES]
- [GRUNTS]
555
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,770
LASZLO: Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa...
556
00:21:51,795 --> 00:21:55,191
I say, old chap, that's our familiar.
557
00:21:57,965 --> 00:22:00,654
[HYPERVENTILATING]
558
00:22:01,661 --> 00:22:02,879
Good God.
559
00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:04,427
Guillermo, did you see?
560
00:22:04,452 --> 00:22:06,388
He ate the familiar.
561
00:22:06,839 --> 00:22:09,205
[ROARS]
562
00:22:09,230 --> 00:22:10,790
That's scary.
563
00:22:10,815 --> 00:22:13,499
Ne la materia
564
00:22:13,524 --> 00:22:16,064
che mai non dorme
565
00:22:16,089 --> 00:22:20,919
re de le forme.
566
00:22:20,944 --> 00:22:25,877
I have risen again.
567
00:22:26,688 --> 00:22:28,943
Hello, Nadja.
568
00:22:28,968 --> 00:22:30,665
Hello.
569
00:22:30,690 --> 00:22:32,644
He's so hilarious.
570
00:22:32,669 --> 00:22:35,105
- Laszlo.
- LASZLO: Yes.
571
00:22:35,130 --> 00:22:36,877
I seem to remember him having genitals.
572
00:22:36,902 --> 00:22:39,693
NADJA: No, never. That is why
he was such a good lover.
573
00:22:39,718 --> 00:22:41,877
Guillermo, fetch the virgins.
574
00:22:42,508 --> 00:22:44,657
As an advocate of the old ways,
575
00:22:44,682 --> 00:22:47,065
can I just apologize
for the crepe paper?
576
00:22:47,090 --> 00:22:47,701
NANDOR: Hey...
577
00:22:47,726 --> 00:22:49,728
It should have been
human skin, obviously.
578
00:22:49,753 --> 00:22:52,625
And I deeply apologize
for the StairMaster.
579
00:22:52,650 --> 00:22:53,666
It's all his fault.
580
00:22:53,691 --> 00:22:55,560
I go through all this effort,
I get the creepy paper.
581
00:22:55,585 --> 00:22:57,619
- I get Guillermo to...
- LASZLO: It's not "creepy."
582
00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:59,124
It's crepepaper, crepe.
583
00:22:59,149 --> 00:23:01,215
Silence!
584
00:23:01,847 --> 00:23:06,886
I come with a proclamation.
585
00:23:07,313 --> 00:23:09,514
The old ways...
586
00:23:09,966 --> 00:23:12,100
are over.
587
00:23:12,125 --> 00:23:13,811
Which is what I just said.
588
00:23:13,836 --> 00:23:16,796
The New World, as you call it,
589
00:23:16,821 --> 00:23:18,823
is our lifeline
590
00:23:18,848 --> 00:23:21,862
to an eternal future.
591
00:23:22,330 --> 00:23:23,945
Si...
592
00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:27,449
It's a documentary crew.
They're cameras.
593
00:23:27,474 --> 00:23:29,056
It's like they're not even here.
594
00:23:29,081 --> 00:23:30,691
- They are filming me?
- Yes.
595
00:23:30,716 --> 00:23:32,326
NANDOR: Just pretend
like they're not there.
596
00:23:32,351 --> 00:23:33,806
It's kind of a natural piece.
597
00:23:33,831 --> 00:23:35,485
You were saying, Baron?
598
00:23:35,510 --> 00:23:37,835
Centuries have passed,
599
00:23:37,860 --> 00:23:42,089
and you have not
conquered the New World.
600
00:23:42,114 --> 00:23:45,030
You hide in the shadows.
601
00:23:45,055 --> 00:23:47,510
Bah. You are weak.
602
00:23:47,535 --> 00:23:49,414
JONATHAN: Oh, God. Oh...
603
00:23:49,439 --> 00:23:51,002
NANDOR: Not now, Guillermo.
604
00:23:51,027 --> 00:23:52,985
GUILLERMO: Go, go, go. Go, go, go.
605
00:23:53,010 --> 00:23:54,353
- Go.
- BARON: Oh, by now,
606
00:23:54,378 --> 00:23:57,502
you should rule this, this, uh...
607
00:23:57,527 --> 00:24:00,478
- what is this place again?
- Staten Island.
608
00:24:00,503 --> 00:24:02,942
This Staten Island.
609
00:24:02,967 --> 00:24:04,654
[THUNDER CRASHES, METAL CLATTERS]
610
00:24:04,679 --> 00:24:07,780
Is this Staten Island the seat of power
611
00:24:07,805 --> 00:24:09,574
in the New World?
612
00:24:09,599 --> 00:24:12,036
It is where the boat dropped us off.
613
00:24:12,061 --> 00:24:16,765
Down with the old ways.
Up with t-the New World.
614
00:24:16,790 --> 00:24:18,505
I've been saying it for
centuries, and he would never
615
00:24:18,530 --> 00:24:21,545
- listen...
- Shh.
616
00:24:21,683 --> 00:24:24,590
Mm. I must slumber.
617
00:24:24,615 --> 00:24:26,675
But when I awaken,
618
00:24:26,962 --> 00:24:29,552
we will rule this...
619
00:24:29,577 --> 00:24:31,889
Staten Island.
620
00:24:32,502 --> 00:24:34,599
Y-Yes.
621
00:24:34,624 --> 00:24:35,933
- Yes!
- Yes.
622
00:24:35,958 --> 00:24:36,947
Nadja?
623
00:24:36,972 --> 00:24:39,647
Baron. [LAUGHS]
624
00:24:39,672 --> 00:24:42,774
- Laszlo.
- Baron.
625
00:24:43,357 --> 00:24:45,694
It's Nandor.
626
00:24:48,147 --> 00:24:50,798
[WIND WHOOSHING, THUNDER CRASHES]
627
00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:51,950
LASZLO: Thank God.
628
00:24:51,975 --> 00:24:54,197
NANDOR: The Baron is furious with us.
629
00:24:54,222 --> 00:24:56,372
It's so dumb that I wore glitter.
630
00:24:56,397 --> 00:24:57,748
Let's get rid of this shit.
631
00:24:57,773 --> 00:24:59,166
If we don't conquer the New World,
632
00:24:59,191 --> 00:25:00,751
he's going to kill us.
633
00:25:00,776 --> 00:25:02,336
Again.
634
00:25:02,867 --> 00:25:06,173
- Basically, we're fucked.
- Fucked. [GROANS]
635
00:25:07,451 --> 00:25:09,410
NANDOR: Well, that was
a complete disaster.
636
00:25:09,789 --> 00:25:12,054
At least we have the virgins.
637
00:25:12,608 --> 00:25:15,432
- [KEYS JINGLE]
- Uh, yes.
638
00:25:15,754 --> 00:25:17,451
[LOCK CLICKS]
639
00:25:17,691 --> 00:25:19,853
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
640
00:25:19,878 --> 00:25:21,575
for an economy car.
641
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,265
- NANDOR: Oh, great.
- GUILLERMO: We're too late.
642
00:25:23,290 --> 00:25:26,705
Colin Robinson has drained
them of all their energy.
643
00:25:26,730 --> 00:25:28,862
COLIN: "How are you
gonna wash this car?"
644
00:25:28,887 --> 00:25:31,674
NANDOR: They have no
nutritional value now.
645
00:25:31,699 --> 00:25:33,283
COLIN: And I know you two
said you don't drive,
646
00:25:33,308 --> 00:25:35,180
and don't have driver's licenses,
647
00:25:35,205 --> 00:25:36,494
but are you gonna do a...
648
00:25:36,519 --> 00:25:38,038
a-a different type of car wash,
649
00:25:38,063 --> 00:25:41,124
maybe having detailing done?
650
00:25:41,149 --> 00:25:43,154
Now, detailing, they go into your car
651
00:25:43,179 --> 00:25:45,660
and they get into the
nooks and crannies, so...
652
00:25:45,685 --> 00:25:48,256
Anyway, you take care, okay?
653
00:25:54,412 --> 00:25:56,222
You are glum, Guillermo.
654
00:25:56,593 --> 00:25:58,564
- [QUIETLY]: No.
- Yes.
655
00:25:58,589 --> 00:25:59,981
You think that I've
forgotten that tonight
656
00:26:00,006 --> 00:26:02,938
is a special occasion for
you as well, haven't you?
657
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,202
♪
658
00:26:09,093 --> 00:26:11,863
Does not an anniversary deserve a reward
659
00:26:11,888 --> 00:26:14,574
recognizing your years of service?
660
00:26:14,599 --> 00:26:16,372
[SONG IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE PLAYING]
661
00:26:16,397 --> 00:26:17,868
I'm ready, Master.
662
00:26:17,902 --> 00:26:19,468
Good.
663
00:26:19,493 --> 00:26:21,428
Prepare yourself.
664
00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:24,084
[EXHALES]
665
00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:29,505
Happy anniversary, Guillermo.
666
00:26:33,745 --> 00:26:37,264
- Wow...
- It's a glitter portrait.
667
00:26:37,505 --> 00:26:41,434
It's a portrait made from glitter.
668
00:26:41,582 --> 00:26:43,730
Look, it's you.
669
00:26:43,755 --> 00:26:45,981
I made you a vampire.
670
00:26:46,006 --> 00:26:47,573
And look who's next to you.
671
00:26:47,706 --> 00:26:49,055
It's me.
672
00:26:49,099 --> 00:26:51,754
- Wow.
- Enjoy it.
673
00:26:51,779 --> 00:26:54,615
You can put it in your depressing room.
674
00:26:54,916 --> 00:26:58,702
And you deserve it.
Two years of service.
675
00:26:59,434 --> 00:27:00,828
T-Ten.
676
00:27:00,931 --> 00:27:02,759
Ten years of service. [INHALES SHARPLY]
677
00:27:02,784 --> 00:27:05,918
- Ten.
- Ten years of service?
678
00:27:06,086 --> 00:27:08,295
[MOUTHS]
679
00:27:08,464 --> 00:27:10,255
Okay.
680
00:27:11,207 --> 00:27:12,879
[NANDOR SIGHS]
681
00:27:12,904 --> 00:27:14,906
♪
682
00:27:33,448 --> 00:27:35,823
NANDOR: Night, Guillermo.
683
00:27:40,290 --> 00:27:43,777
♪ Tonight in the moonlight ♪
684
00:27:43,802 --> 00:27:47,879
♪ When I'm alone with you ♪
685
00:27:47,904 --> 00:27:51,192
♪ Tonight in the moonlight ♪
686
00:27:51,217 --> 00:27:54,549
♪ With you. ♪
687
00:27:58,811 --> 00:28:00,421
["YOU'RE DEAD" BY NORMA TANEGA PLAYING]
688
00:28:00,446 --> 00:28:03,188
♪ Don't sing if you want to live long ♪
689
00:28:03,213 --> 00:28:05,977
♪ They have no use for your song ♪
690
00:28:06,002 --> 00:28:08,933
♪ You're dead, you're
dead, you're dead ♪
691
00:28:08,958 --> 00:28:11,649
♪ You're dead and out of this world. ♪
692
00:28:12,072 --> 00:28:14,902
♪
693
00:28:17,460 --> 00:28:24,035
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
694
00:28:32,763 --> 00:28:36,549
[EERIE CHANTING]
695
00:28:37,573 --> 00:28:39,662
[HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING]
696
00:28:40,706 --> 00:28:43,187
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
697
00:28:43,212 --> 00:28:48,793
[SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
698
00:28:48,818 --> 00:28:51,325
[WOMAN WARBLING]
699
00:28:51,350 --> 00:28:53,309
[HISSING]
700
00:28:53,334 --> 00:28:54,457
[FLAMES ROARING]
701
00:28:54,482 --> 00:28:56,092
- Oh!
- Aaah!
702
00:28:56,117 --> 00:28:58,273
ANNOUNCER: What We Do in the Shadows.
48328
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