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1
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,071
(Church bells chime)
2
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,031
(Footsteps)
3
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,111
Now, remember,
tap the glass gently, then reverse.
4
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,074
- I've driven cars before, Sidney.
- And smashed 'em, too.
5
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,792
Thank you.
6
00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:14,839
(Alarm rings)
7
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,790
- What went wrong?
- Gone too far.
8
00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:21,833
- Do you think they're all right?
- Well, get 'em out. Oi, Sid!
9
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,635
Don't stand there! Do something!
I'll kill him for this.
10
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,150
- What's that bell?
- It's the alarm! Let's scarper!
11
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,191
(Grunts and groans)
12
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,831
(Whistle)
13
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,471
Just tap the glass gently,
then reverse, I said.
14
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,637
So, he tries
to knock the whole building down!
15
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:07,719
- Perhaps he thought it was quicker.
- Look at your pictures.
16
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,751
Our boss he calls himself!
17
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,111
What has he got?
Tell me, what has he got?
18
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,754
Well... He's...
19
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,633
Well, he's very refined, isn't he?
20
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,035
Yeah, and he speaks nice, an' all.
21
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,435
- Know what? He's a twit.
- Twit?
22
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,471
You're flattering him.
23
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,636
Him and his big ideas!
24
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:32,550
Operations. Hmph! Operations!
What's the next disaster on his list?
25
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,194
The Shoreditch Christian Girls' Club.
26
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:39,313
Funny. I belonged to it,
till they heard about my striptease.
27
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,149
Go back to stripping. You'll lose
your shirt with this clot.
28
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:44,633
Look out!
29
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,476
Hi, fellas. Don't get up.
30
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,999
Regrettable
about that little contretemps.
31
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,590
Contretemps? What's a fiasco?
When we all get pinched?
32
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,631
You weren't driving a tank!
33
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,716
- The brakes failed.
- Liar!
34
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,711
Who's calling me a liar?
35
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,751
He was.
36
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,791
And he meant it.
37
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,151
Be careful, Sid,
38
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:49,558
or I may have to teach you a...
a sharp lesson.
39
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,591
What in? Driving?
40
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,631
What about some lolly?!
41
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,228
We f-failed this time,
but don't worry.
42
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,715
I never stop worrying
since I met you.
43
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:01,115
- Three cars you've wrecked!
- Four.
44
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,913
- Yeah, four.
- They didn't cost you anything.
45
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,918
- You stole them all.
- Not for you to wreck!
46
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,600
- I've got my living to earn.
- Me, an' all.
47
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,349
- I'd better go back to wrestling.
- Why? You never won a fight.
48
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,119
They paid me more to lose fights,
that's why.
49
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,959
All right. All right. Desert me.
50
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,951
Desert me.
51
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,868
I can find others
to help me pick up...�10,000.
52
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,639
�10,000!
53
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,671
How much is that?
54
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,475
'Ere, Fingers.
10,000 from the girls of Shoreditch?
55
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:40,229
- We only got a tenner last time...
- We're not doing Shoreditch.
56
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,352
We're going to crack
one of the fullest safes in London.
57
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:48,474
- The Bank of England?
- No. Mr Billy Gordon's.
58
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,188
- Who's Billy Gordon?
- "Who's Billy Gordon?"!
59
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,231
Why don't you learn to read?
60
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,113
I don't know.
I could never get the hang of it.
61
00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:01,313
- What's reading got to do with it?
- All right. Shut up. Go on.
62
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:05,877
Everybody knows Billy Gordon.
He's a man who doesn't like banks.
63
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,629
People who don't like banks
keep a lot of ready cash in the safe.
64
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:13,070
Billy Gordon's safe
is the one we're going to bust.
65
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:17,469
(Man) Kaltenburg did the bust of me.
Do you like it?
66
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,716
(Woman) You look rather worried.
67
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,196
I was. I was worried
how much he was going to charge me!
68
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,232
I wanted a cigar.
He wouldn't stand for that.
69
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,635
Tell me, anyone ever done your bust?
70
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,671
- No.
- Pity.
71
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,234
Talking of busts...
I mean journalists...
72
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,352
you're rather young and pretty
for a newshound.
73
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,994
Mother's Own prefers younger women.
74
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,031
So do I!
75
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,071
Tell me, what can I do for you?
76
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,795
We're interviewing people
who've made a fortune from nothing.
77
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,480
I certainly started with nothing -
500 smackers.
78
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,194
- Loaned by your wife?
- Huh? Yeah.
79
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:54,959
Splendid woman.
Got a glorious daughter.
80
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,277
- Is that your wife?
- No, my daughter. Pretty, eh?
81
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,516
- Charming.
- One of the last debs.
82
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,438
Slipped her in
just before they closed.
83
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,597
- You married in the war?
- Yes, Sergeant Major.
84
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,871
- You were a Sergeant Major?
- No, my wife was.
85
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,116
PT Instructress. Strong as an ox.
86
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,198
I met her when
she was teaching unarmed combat.
87
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,959
Next thing I knew,
I'm thrust up the aisle.
88
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,992
- Up the what?
- Up the aisle, dear.
89
00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,315
She's changed now. Quiet as a mouse.
90
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,830
- So, you were in the army?
- What? Reserved occupation, me!
91
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,269
Used to collect swill
from army camps.
92
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,676
- What was swill used for?
- Damned if I know. Hate to think.
93
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,711
A hell of a market in it.
94
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,799
Your wife's here. She doesn't want
to disturb you but, er...
95
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:40,831
Disturb?! Show her in!
96
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,191
Please come in, Mrs Gordon.
97
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,231
Thank you, Miss, er...
98
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,679
Oh!
99
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,075
Lucy, my love. What a nice surprise!
100
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:55,637
I didn't want to bother you,
but you forgot my housekeeping money.
101
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,478
I'm so sorry.
102
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:01,479
Oh, this is Miss, er...
of the Mother's Own thing. My wife.
103
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,478
- Hello.
- Hello. I'm sorry to disturb you.
104
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:09,071
You didn't. I've been telling her
all about you. My little piggy bank.
105
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,998
Cost me a fortune.
Still, it's moth-proof.
106
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:15,590
- There. You're solvent again.
- But I only wanted ten.
107
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,156
- There must be a hundred here.
- Really? Never could count.
108
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,795
- Get along. Shan't be a minute.
- Goodbye, Miss, er...?
109
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,480
- Goodbye, Mrs Gordon.
- Goodbye.
110
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,518
Ooh!
111
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,713
Psst!
112
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:34,515
It was ten you wanted, wasn't it?
There you are.
113
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,551
- Oh, I thought...
- Now, Lucy.
114
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:40,639
We had to put on a show, but
the income tax swine are hounding me,
115
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,230
and I can't afford to throw away
hundreds on nothing, can I?
116
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,316
- Well, can I?
- No.
117
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,318
Good. We've got to be very careful
for the moment.
118
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,910
When our ship comes in -
country house, butler...
119
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,315
- Ta-ta.
- Ta-ta.
120
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,793
Phew!
121
00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:59,831
Oh, Beryl. Blast!
122
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,555
Call Rogers and put 100 - no, 90 -
on Peruvian Wonder to win.
123
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,910
Look slippy or you'll miss the off.
124
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,998
- There's a gentleman to see you.
- Oh, blast!
125
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,317
Well, tell him to wait.
I'll get rid of this Miss, er...?
126
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,193
- Chillick.
- Chillick! You're kidding?
127
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:20,275
I'm sorry, my dear.
I've got a client waiting.
128
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,834
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- So am I.
129
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,713
I say,
why don't we meet after office hours?
130
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,115
Wouldn't that be too much for you?
131
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,151
You don't know me.
132
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,396
I'll phone you at the office, yes?
133
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,431
Oh, yes, please.
134
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,278
Arrivederci.
135
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,998
Arrivederci.
136
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,031
(Whistles merrily)
137
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,190
Come in... Oh! Guten tag.
138
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,231
- Bonjour.
- You're French?
139
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:49,113
- No, I am Finnish.
- Why do you speak French?
140
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,151
Finnish is too difficult.
141
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,076
Hmm... Please...
142
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,910
You're right! I had a Finnish girl
once. She was very difficult.
143
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,679
Well, glad to see
you've got the violin.
144
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,995
Da, with no strings attached.
145
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,032
Mmm! Very useful.
146
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,193
- Bad finish. How many?
- 2,500.
147
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,880
- When? How much?
- Next week. �50,000.
148
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,911
- Ha! Five.
- Ha! Forty!
149
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,951
- Fifteen.
- Thirty-five.
150
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,399
(Both) Twenty-five.
151
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:23,670
- Just a minute, I hope they work.
- Why?
152
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:29,397
Why?! The last consignment your boss
sent didn't work. I had complaints.
153
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,791
Surely, you are joking.
154
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,514
I do not understand. Complaints?
155
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,949
- From whom?
- There were some survivors.
156
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,868
There's a sucker born every minute,
but save enough to go round.
157
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,150
Have you anything
to put the money in?
158
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,920
- No.
- That's three quid for the case.
159
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,951
- Ha! Two.
- Don't be mean.
160
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,275
That's the best quality plastic.
161
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,356
- (Yelps)
- Oh, sorry.
162
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,391
Right, these are in thousands.
163
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:58,354
One, two, three, four, five,
164
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,199
six, seven, eight, nine,
165
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,798
ten... eleven...
166
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:15,553
I can't have everybody peering in
like that. They're after me.
167
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,591
- The police?
- No, income tax.
168
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:21,918
They've got spies everywhere.
You've no idea what they'd stoop to.
169
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,156
- Er, fourteen...
- Twelve.
170
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,236
- Sorry. Thirteen...
- Twelve!
171
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,193
Sorry, old chap.
I'm a left-handed counter.
172
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,151
Thirteen, fourteen.
173
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:35,319
By the way, what's the supply
situation on guided missiles?
174
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,955
Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen...
175
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,351
(Whispers) This way.
176
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,590
- Hey, look.
- The safe, it's open!
177
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,631
So it is... Whoops!
178
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,350
- You clot!
- It was an accident.
179
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,391
So are you!
180
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,672
Now I'll have to crack it!
Give me some light.
181
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:12,873
- Lights, gentleman. Is that better?
- Don't move. I've got you covered.
182
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,355
- Is it a space gun, then?
- Eh? Oh!
183
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,358
One move and I'll shoot you
to comedon king.
184
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:19,913
Er... Come... Er...
185
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,755
There are four. One's got
a blunderbuss, needs a haircut.
186
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,555
- How dare you!
- That's him. You can hear him now.
187
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,592
There's a stringy youth,
one who looks like a wrestler...
188
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,075
How did you guess? I am.
189
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,714
Shut up! I warn you...
190
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,558
I warn you.
191
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:42,514
- Curly's getting jittery.
- Hold your noise or you'll get it.
192
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,359
You must be able to hear him.
Recognise the voice?
193
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,391
- Ever broadcast before?
- Eh?
194
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,717
You're on shortwave
to Bow Street Police Station.
195
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,831
They'll be on their way already.
196
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,433
- We're in it again!
- Shut up! Come on!
197
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,318
(Gordon cackles)
198
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,197
Good. Well, now
we can have a little supper, eh?
199
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,880
You were wonderful
but why did you let them go?
200
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,468
We didn't want to be disturbed
by coppers.
201
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:17,991
- But they're coming, anyway.
- No, they're not. I made that up.
202
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,031
Not a bad idea, eh?
203
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:25,234
Wait! I'd better move this stuff
in case somebody else has a crack.
204
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,271
- Bottoms up.
- Cheers.
205
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,238
Billy, you didn't come home
to dinner again.
206
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,750
- I had to take a journalist out.
- It's always the same.
207
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,633
I economise
while you have lavish dinners.
208
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,876
But, Lucy, this is business.
209
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,912
Besides, it's all tax-deductible.
210
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,951
Then, couldn't you entertain me?
211
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,436
That wouldn't be honest. You know
what you're like about honesty.
212
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,473
Cheer up. It won't be long before
you have that country house.
213
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,717
- Am I forgiven?
- Of course. Would you like a hand?
214
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,479
No. Just papers to hide...
I mean put away.
215
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,479
Cheer up, old girl, won't be long
before our ship comes in.
216
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:26,075
Oh, blimey! Haven't you had
enough exercise for one day?
217
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,033
(Whispers)
'Ere, Sid... Eurhythmic tension.
218
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,038
After three months,
they're like balloons.
219
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,151
Balloons! Peanuts, you mean.
220
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,909
Hi, fellas. Don't get up.
No, d-d-don't get up. Sit down.
221
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,952
I-I know how you feel
but this is the last of the fiascos.
222
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,789
- You said it. Goodbye.
- You're saying goodbye to �20,000.
223
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,831
What now? The Crown Jewels?
224
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,269
The Crown Jewels? Bit risky, innit?
225
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:53,473
Billy Gordon again,
but this time his private house.
226
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,909
- (Whispers) 'Ere, Fingers.
- What?
227
00:15:56,040 --> 00:16:00,670
A fly boy like that doesn't keep cash
in the house. His missus may find it.
228
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:05,749
Hey, Whisper, I'm after something
more precious than money, my boy.
229
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:10,112
I never heard of anything more
precious than money...'cept dollars.
230
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:14,995
If any of you half-wits could read,
you'd know Gordon has a daughter.
231
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,874
- Well, what about it?
- Work it out for yourself, Sidney.
232
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,675
She's the one thing in the world
he loves more than money.
233
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,150
- Billy?
- I thought I told you...
234
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,556
- Angela has wonderful news.
- Daddy, meet Tommy Weston.
235
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,114
- Hello.
- What on earth are you doing?
236
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,516
Er... Smelled gas.
Looking for a leak.
237
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:40,790
- Tommy and I are engaged.
- What?!
238
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,831
Why didn't you tell me before?
239
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,520
We couldn't tell you
before it happened.
240
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:49,110
- Before what happened?
- Before we were engaged, sir.
241
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,959
- Can I help?
- Why? Are you a gas inspector?
242
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,958
No, as a matter of fact,
I'm a tax inspector.
243
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,991
(Laughs) Very good!
244
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,031
No, no. I really am.
245
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,718
You're a tax...?!
246
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,511
- You're a tax inspector?!
- I'm afraid so, sir.
247
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,551
One of the snoops, what?
248
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,593
Yes, well...
I'll join you downstairs.
249
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,678
- I hope you approve, sir.
- Later, later.
250
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,110
Did you hear that? A tax inspector!
Well, he's out for a start!
251
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,710
- I never want to see him again.
- Billy, he's nice and she loves him.
252
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,116
Don't be ridiculous.
Nobody loves a tax inspector!
253
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,550
- It's an honourable profession.
- Are you kidding?
254
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,229
I won't have him in the house.
He'd ruin any decent conversation!
255
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,954
Worse than a policeman
or a customs officer.
256
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,594
- But if she loves...
- I mean what I say.
257
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,315
I'd rather entertain a thief.
At least they're honest.
258
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:53,956
We must case the joint properly,
inside and out. Alarms, everything.
259
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,072
Where are you taking the girl
after the snatch?
260
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,637
My old aunt has a little place
in the country, just outside town.
261
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,832
I'll send her to Blackpool.
She'll like that.
262
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,077
- Who? Gordon's daughter?
- No, his aunt, stupid!
263
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,112
'Ere, Fingers,
you're planning to kidnap that girl!
264
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:13,470
That's what I've been telling you!
265
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,319
You know what?
That's dangerous, that is.
266
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,351
What? Sending her to Blackpool?
267
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,119
With anyone else,
it would be dangerous,
268
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,754
but Gordon hates the law
as much as we do.
269
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,316
He's the one man in England
who'll pay and pay big.
270
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:31,797
Yeah, and if something goes wrong -
which it will - we'll get ten years.
271
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,718
- Twenty.
- We'll get twenty grand, at least.
272
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,718
The small time is over.
Now for the big snatch.
273
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,831
The crime of the century!
274
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:58,558
Goodbye, dear.
275
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,911
Bye, old girl.
Shan't be back to supper tonight.
276
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,828
But I was going to try
your economy steak and kidney pie.
277
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,871
The one without the kidneys.
278
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:12,278
I'll miss that. You're lucky.
I'll have to grab a sandwich at work.
279
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:13,719
- Ta-ta.
- Ta-ta.
280
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,229
- Yes?
- (Welsh accent) Good morning.
281
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:32,239
- Is the mistress at home, whatever?
- We don't want any.
282
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,271
It is from the Public Opinion Poll
283
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,630
of the National Soap Foundation
that I am
284
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:41,436
who are after a survey of soap
powders used by housewives, whatever.
285
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,950
- Oh... No, not today.
- Thank you, most kind.
286
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:49,437
And, look you. I have a free sample
of a new powder we're marketing.
287
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:54,156
- No charge to you, whatever.
- Oh, my husband will be pleased.
288
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,999
Oh, isn't it...?
Has it got coal dust in it?
289
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:01,477
That's our black whitener. The black
which washes whitest, whatever.
290
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,956
- Whatever will they think of next?
- Yes, whatever.
291
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:09,039
- How many are in this wee hoose?
- My husband, my daughter and I.
292
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,594
- Would you like a cup of tea?
- How kind.
293
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,359
- I had no breakfast, whatever.
- Come on.
294
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,758
I never realised that Welshmen
really said "whatever" so much.
295
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,793
- I thought it was just music halls.
- No truth in that, whatever.
296
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,719
You have no living-in domesticals?
297
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,751
No. I have no help, whatever.
298
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,348
Oh, dear. Now you've got me doing it.
299
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,914
Actually, I don't mind housework.
300
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,598
(Doorbell)
301
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,632
- Whoever can that be?
- No idea, whatever.
302
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,478
Excuse me.
303
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,318
- Sid.
- What?
304
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,000
I'm sure Fingers said come at ten,
not nine.
305
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,031
- Yes?
- Gas Board, ma'am.
306
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,436
- Routine inspection. Mains.
- Oh, we wanted you.
307
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,314
- You did? That's fu...
- Yes. My husband suspected a leak.
308
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,510
I'll show you. Come with me.
309
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,596
- You coming?
- Oh!
310
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,439
- This way, please.
- What a coincidence.
311
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,996
- You expected us and here we are.
- It's colder, too.
312
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,111
(Whispers) I said ten, not nine!
313
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,312
That's what I said,
but he would argue with...
314
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:18,837
If there's anything wrong,
it should be under this one.
315
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,794
My husband was sniffing round here.
There'll be tea downstairs.
316
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,273
(Both) Ta.
317
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,630
I could do with a cup of tea.
318
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,069
Looks like the old man sleeps alone.
319
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,271
What are you doing?!
320
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,791
- I'm having a look for the leak.
- What'll you do if you find one?
321
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,992
Give me that.
Make a noise while I find out
322
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,714
where the old lady
and daughter sleep.
323
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,754
- Whatever's that?
- They're mending a leak.
324
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,474
- Causing one, more likely.
- (Doorbell)
325
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,750
What a morning! Excuse me.
326
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,311
(Crumbling and smashing)
327
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:04,797
Sorry, old girl, forgot my key
and my briefcase. What's that noise?
328
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,639
The gasmen looking
under your floorboards.
329
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,751
(Wails) Oh!
330
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,553
- Whatever is going on?
- It's my husband.
331
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,035
- Your husband?
- Yes. He seems upset.
332
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,878
(Gordon screams) Get out!
333
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:20,549
- Come on, now. Get out!
- Don't shove. We only...
334
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,514
Look, when I want a gasman,
I'll send for one. Now, get out!
335
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,712
- That's no way to treat gasmen!
- Buzz off!
336
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,751
(Doorbell)
337
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,668
- Hello. I represent...
- (Fingers) No, you don't. Scarper!
338
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,436
Right. Everybody out.
339
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,471
Sidney, shh!
340
00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:00,149
Blimey!
Anybody would think I was a beginner.
341
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,714
Coffin, hearses... It's crazy.
342
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,751
I think it's a smashing idea.
343
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,678
Nobody looks at a hearse.
It's bad luck.
344
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:11,315
Exactly. Only a fool
would use a hearse for a getaway.
345
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:15,513
- Now you're talking sense.
- So, no one will stop us. Right?
346
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,551
On tiptoe.
347
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,676
(Fingers) Shh!
348
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,711
(Sid) Eurhythmic tension!
349
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,310
Shroud. You keep that.
350
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:47,510
- Chloroform.
- I wish you'd drink it!
351
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,870
(Shouts) I hope everything's...
352
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,757
Are you barmy?! Whisper, Whisper.
353
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,598
Come on.
354
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,758
Knife.
355
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,231
(Ferocious barking)
356
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,556
(Barking continues)
357
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,676
Quiet, you stupid barker.
358
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,518
(Barking stops)
359
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,551
Thank you.
360
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,671
(Snoring)
361
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,392
Clever dog.
He's anaestheticatized himself.
362
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,431
You didn't tell us about the dog!
363
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:34,028
They must have bought him yesterday.
364
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,071
Supposing he woke somebody?
365
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,953
Then they'd have come down,
wouldn't they?
366
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,196
Smashing house dogs, these.
367
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,270
It's hardly human, that noise.
I wish he'd stop it.
368
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,391
Oh, go and tickle him, then!
369
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,231
Come on.
370
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:04,838
Shh!
371
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,631
This one. Go on.
372
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,071
Go on.
373
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,391
(Burps)
374
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,431
- Manners.
- Shh!
375
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,471
(Whispers) Manners.
376
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,191
(Floorboard creaks)
377
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,717
(Creaks)
378
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,751
(Creaks)
379
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,318
Shh!
380
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,558
Well, Sidney,
you are now pie-tarcipating
381
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,875
in the crime of the century.
382
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,912
- There's traffic lights ahead.
- I know, Sidney.
383
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:00,951
And they're red.
384
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,314
He's coming. Now what?
385
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,954
Keep calm and look holy.
386
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,398
Hey, you'd better take a look
back there.
387
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,589
Shut it up, you fools!
388
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,352
The foot! The foot!
389
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,798
(Tuts) Thank you, Officer.
What a dreadful thing.
390
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,831
(Officer) Hey, just a minute.
391
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,679
It's a bit early
for a funeral, isn't it?
392
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:04,715
Er, yes, indeed.
We're transporting him to Scotland.
393
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,037
Oh, h-h-he was a policeman,
like yourself.
394
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:13,994
Him? With that little foot!
I'd have sworn that was a woman.
395
00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:18,955
That just shows what nonsense is
talked about the size of coppers'...
396
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:23,631
(Coughs) ..policemen's feet.
Er, thank you again, Officer.
397
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,196
Well, I handled that
with the master's touch.
398
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,311
Master's touch, my foot.
399
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,431
Her foot! Ha ha!
400
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,869
Cheer up, we're out of the woo...
401
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,911
(Engine splutters)
402
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,271
(Backfires)
403
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:04,190
We'll have to push. Come on, you two.
We need eurhythmic tension.
404
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,231
- What happened?
- We're gonna push.
405
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,271
- Why?
- It's quicker.
406
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,996
- Is the brake on?
- Of course.
407
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,429
Well, take it off, you twerp!
408
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,318
Stop it!
409
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,351
Get out and push!
410
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,471
Hold it.
411
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,679
Sid, I don't think this is quicker.
412
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,917
- Why don't he use the engine?
- Shut up and push.
413
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,951
Well, go on.
414
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,148
Stick it. We're nearly there.
415
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,714
Right. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it!
416
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,751
(Sid) Stop it! Stop it!
417
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:04,229
(Snowdrop) It's running away.
Stop! Come back! Stop! Stop!
418
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,271
- Get it!
- Get off!
419
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,309
Goodbye, Mr Davis.
Now, don't worry.
420
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,000
Cheer up.
Everything's going to be all right.
421
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,714
You never know
what's around the corner.
422
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,956
- Thank you, Vicar.
- Goodbye.
423
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,031
(Groans)
424
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,548
(Breathless) Hey... Have...? Have...?
425
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,391
Thank you very much.
426
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,991
(Clunk)
427
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,479
(Huge crash)
428
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,313
(Yawns)
429
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,158
(Screams)
430
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,390
- No, no, no. The car's had it.
- What are we going to do?
431
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,556
- Walk.
- All the way to St Albans?
432
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,878
Till we find a car. Get round
the other side. Right... Hup.
433
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,639
Now, put it on your shoulders,
properly.
434
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,591
Why do you have to be so high?
435
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,312
Right. Ready? Off we go.
436
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,753
Oh!
437
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,274
What happened? I've been so worried.
438
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,312
- We ran into a spot of bother.
- Where's the hearse?
439
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:28,718
We changed hearses in midstream.
Treat her gently, boys. Gently!
440
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,873
OK, Whisper, grab that chair.
Turn it round.
441
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,911
- Gently.
- Is she all right?
442
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,270
- Of course.
- How can she breathe?
443
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,834
It's got a hole in the bottom.
444
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:45,954
Well, gentleman, I shall now produce
the most valuable rabbit in history.
445
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,753
A tasty little blonde
worth every penny of...
446
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,791
(Snores)
447
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,790
You bungling clot!
I told you the door on the right.
448
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,037
- You never, you said left. Right?
- He said right.
449
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,914
Shut up! Can't you tell an old hag
from a young girl of 17?
450
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,759
- It was dark.
- She looks older than 17.
451
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,348
- You mind your own business.
- Now what?
452
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,994
As I see it,
we've got the wrong woman.
453
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,873
Yes, and we...
we carry on as planned.
454
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,754
I mean, she's his wife, isn't she?
He'll still pay.
455
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,952
- He might even pay more.
- Would you?
456
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,355
Well,
there's no accounting for taste.
457
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,471
He's probably lost without her.
458
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,716
She couldn't have walked out on me.
459
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,479
After last night,
I wouldn't blame her.
460
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,956
It wasn't her.
It was you and that tax crook.
461
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,310
Lucy! Lucy!
462
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:47,830
Wake up, old girl. It's nine o'clock.
Lucy, come out.
463
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,428
(Phone)
464
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,516
(Yells) Hello!
465
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,557
- (Foreign accent) Mr Gordon?
- 'Yes, who is it?'
466
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,399
Here is Meester X.
467
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,956
- Mr who?
- 'Mr X, but it does not matter.'
468
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:07,119
If it doesn't matter to you,
it doesn't matter to me! Charlie!
469
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,516
- Where do you think she is?
- She may be at Granny's.
470
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,358
- I hope not.
- Why?
471
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,438
- The fare's over a tenner.
- (Phone)
472
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,755
(Shouts) Hello! What do you want?
473
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,348
�25,000, Mr Gordon.
474
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:22,596
What the hell are you talking about?
475
00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:26,918
I am ze head of the gang
who kidnapped your wife last night.
476
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:31,716
I am talking of the ransom
I am asking for her safe return.
477
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,513
I... I presume you're joking.
478
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,518
- 'Zis is no choke.'
- No joke?
479
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,720
You vill not contact the police.
480
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,070
One false move and she will be...
481
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:52,593
cut up into little pieces and
scattered up the Great North Road.
482
00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:56,759
You will obey without question
the following instructions.
483
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,715
- Good evening.
- Good evening to you.
484
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,559
I come from Mr X. How do you do?
485
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,031
How do you do? Are we going far?
486
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,152
- Oh, I mustn't say.
- Why? I'm bound to find out.
487
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:26,592
No, the chauffeur has been given
instructions to drive in circles.
488
00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:28,233
Oh.
489
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,076
- Oh!
- What's the matter?
490
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,839
So many blooming circles,
I lost my way.
491
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:55,191
- (Gordon) Charlie!
- What do you mean by that?
492
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,669
Tell me... This Mr X,
he must be a very big fellow.
493
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,110
Oh, he's not all that big...
Oh, I see what you mean!
494
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,310
Oh, yes. He only handles big jobs.
495
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,351
Oh, sorry.
496
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,391
Why do you wear that veil?
497
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,398
So that you'll never
recognise me again.
498
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:17,433
(Laughs) That's very good. Very good.
499
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:20,074
Take my advice.
Next time, wear a cape.
500
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:26,192
(Snowdrop) Be careful of the steps.
Better let me go down first.
501
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,556
I fell down.
502
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,796
- You all right?
- Yeah. Come this way, please.
503
00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:43,357
- Now, sit down.
- Don't lean against the back.
504
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,074
- Why not?
- Because there is no back.
505
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,111
(Both mumble in agreement)
506
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,511
(Foreign accent) Meester Gordon?
507
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,871
Good day. Mr X.
508
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,073
I am sorry I cannot introduce myself
by name. Pray be seated.
509
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,714
- Well, I am, aren't I?
- Eh?
510
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,551
Just so.
511
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,318
(Laughs malevolently)
512
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:24,998
(Coughs)
513
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,634
Relax, Mr Gordon. Do not be afraid.
514
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,558
- I'm not, thanks.
- Do not be too sure of it.
515
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:32,591
Oh, I'm quite certain.
516
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:35,553
No, do not be too sure
you need not be afraid, I mean.
517
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:38,558
I thought
you told me not to be, old man.
518
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:44,835
We... We have never crossed swords
before, Mr Gordon. But if we had...
519
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:49,397
Just a minute, you're the long-haired
chap who tried to rob my safe.
520
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,715
- I recognise your voice.
- No.
521
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:56,391
Was he a - how you say -
a foreigner?
522
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,431
No, a cockney like you.
523
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,909
No, Mr Gordon. It was not I.
524
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:08,956
I never fail, you see. You have
heard of the Delvin Diamond Robbery?
525
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,514
- Uh-huh.
- The Stettin Killings?
526
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:15,110
The Worthing Trunk...Murders?
527
00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:17,708
- You?
- Your humble servant.
528
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,991
By the smell of that cigar,
you're not doing very well.
529
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,838
Is it a Congo rat?
530
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:24,871
Who's your accountant?
531
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,556
Enough of this idle chatter.
532
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,916
You know my terms?
533
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:37,431
Yes. �25,000 or you cut my wife
into little pieces...
534
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:41,951
(Mocks accent) ..and scatter her
all up ze Great North Road.
535
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,675
Precisely.
I take it you have brought ze money?
536
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,189
- No.
- Splendid.
537
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,276
Splendid. Zen we need only...
538
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,550
(Drops accent) What did you say?
539
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,672
No. Non. Nein. Niet.
540
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,189
In fact, nuts. Not a sausage.
541
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:02,313
Cut her up, old boy. This is
the chance I've been waiting for.
542
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,910
You're bluffing...
or you think I am.
543
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,076
Well, I'm not. I hope you're not!
544
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,919
This is the answer
to a bachelor's prayer.
545
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:15,352
You can't do this to me...to her.
She's a fine woman.
546
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,278
- Well, you have her.
- I don't want her.
547
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:21,676
Well, you took her, old man.
Don't blame me.
548
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,873
But...it's disgusting.
It... It's immoral.
549
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,151
We'll cut her into pieces.
Tiny little pieces.
550
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,748
Well, naturally you want to make
a good job of it.
551
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:35,953
Well, you must excuse me. I've got
a date. Rather a promising one.
552
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:37,991
Oh, talking about that, Mr X,
553
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:43,478
you've got rather a nice little bit
of X certificate here, eh? (Chuckles)
554
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,239
All right, all right. You win.
555
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:51,070
(Foreign accent) I like a fight.
I'll take 10,000, not a penny less.
556
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,475
Not a penny, old fruit. I told you.
557
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:57,752
All right. All right.
5,000. That's my final offer.
558
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:01,839
- �5,000 or we slice.
- No dice. Start slicing, old fruit.
559
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,111
Now, really, I must be going.
I'll find my own way.
560
00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:10,394
- �4,000 and she's yours.
- She's yours...for nothing.
561
00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:14,674
Sid! Snowdrop!
562
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,155
- Take him away.
- Take him away?
563
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,271
Take him away! Take him home!
564
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,709
- I've only just brought him.
- Go on.
565
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:25,549
Well, auf wiedersehen, Herr X.
(Laughs)
566
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:32,396
That swine has ruined
my faith in human nature.
567
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,991
(Snores)
568
00:41:07,720 --> 00:41:09,631
(Car pulls up)
569
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:17,871
(Doors open and slam)
570
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:26,835
- All right? Any luck?
- Not a lot.
571
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,599
- He asked too much.
- Fingers did his best.
572
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:33,030
He came down to 4,000.
You can't do fairer than that.
573
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,720
- What did he say then?
- That we can keep her,
574
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:39,037
that it's his big chance
and we can cut her in pieces.
575
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,071
(Snowdrop) Tiny little pieces.
576
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,998
(Fingers)
I've never seen such inhumanity.
577
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:47,078
A beast in human garbage,
that's what he is.
578
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,998
Go and see
if she wants anything to eat.
579
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,031
- 'Ere, Fingers.
- What?
580
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,993
She won't like this.
She expected him to pay.
581
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,237
Yeah, what are we going to do?
Keep her as a pet?
582
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,954
We'll just have to cut her up.
583
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,355
How?
584
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,391
- Fingers!
- What?
585
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:11,116
She heard every word. She won't eat -
she says she wants to die.
586
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:16,439
- Die? No, she can't do this to me.
- 'Ere, I thought of something...
587
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:21,111
Now, now, now! Don't take on so.
588
00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:23,470
We'll be liberising you soon.
589
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,354
I don't want to go.
I just want to die!
590
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,155
You may as well kill me now.
591
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,317
Well, I'm not going to.
What do you take me for?
592
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,351
Then I'll kill myself!
593
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,358
No! No! No, no, no.
Y-Y-You mustn't do that.
594
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:43,473
That's very selfish.
You must think of others.
595
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,395
- 'Ere, boss...
- Keep an eye on her.
596
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,431
- Yeah, but...
- Do as you're told.
597
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,551
Watch her until we set her free.
598
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:54,592
But that's
what I've been trying to tell you.
599
00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:56,631
We can't set her free.
600
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,911
See, you've been in there
without your masks on,
601
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:01,996
and she's seen your faces.
602
00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:07,633
He's right. We might as well
drop her at Scotland Yard.
603
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,876
"The crime of the century"!
604
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:14,312
- Well, Einstein, now what?
- Gordon will have to be made to pay.
605
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:17,000
- Who'll make him?
- His conscience should.
606
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,680
He wouldn't give a farthing
to a beggar.
607
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:21,711
Oh, I don't know. He's not...
608
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:24,951
Yes.
609
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,875
Thank you, Sid.
610
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:33,039
Yes, I'll go and see him tomorrow.
Thank you.
611
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:38,273
He's got another idea.
A marvellous brain that boy's got(!)
612
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,311
- Yeah.
- Yeah. You, too.
613
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,351
Do you think so?
614
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,228
Better go in first.
It'll look better.
615
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:58,148
- Anything you say, Mr Gordon.
- What a secretary!
616
00:43:58,280 --> 00:43:59,713
Done.
617
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,391
- 'Ere, governor.
- Yes?
618
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:16,195
- Box of matches?
- No, thanks. I've got a lighter.
619
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,959
'Ere, I've got a message...
620
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,719
from Mr X.
621
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,798
- Hey, just a minute. You are Mr X.
- No, no...
622
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:30,630
- I could hardly recognise you.
- 'Ere, he sends his last offer.
623
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:32,955
Two hundred quid and she's yours.
624
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:36,993
Two hundred quid? The bottom
has fallen out of the market!
625
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:39,031
Was she damaged in transit?
626
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:43,119
Look, I'll give you threepence.
Buy yourself a cup of tea, eh?
627
00:44:43,240 --> 00:44:45,151
(Laughs)
628
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,999
- Box of matches, please.
- Oh, get out of it!
629
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,237
- Morning, Charlie.
- Morning, sir.
630
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:55,432
- Oh, well. Never mind!
- Daddy?
631
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:59,872
- Darling, what are you doing here?
- You didn't come home last night.
632
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,434
No, I...I spent the night
in a Turkish bath.
633
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,472
Was it mixed bathing?
You have lipstick on your ear.
634
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,070
- What? Er, paint.
- What's going on? Where's Mother?
635
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,158
Don't worry,
she'll be back in a couple of days.
636
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,430
Charlie, is that a racing edition?
637
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,677
- Yes, sir.
- My tips have been coming up.
638
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:21,475
Staiger in the 2:30. Italian.
Very fast. What's the price?
639
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,433
- Is this the latest edition, then?
- Yes, sir.
640
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:37,195
You swine! You killed my wife!
I'll slit your throat!
641
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,754
- Sorry.
- Now, then. What's going on?
642
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,474
He attacked me!
Charge him with assault.
643
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:46,354
- But, Officer, it's a mistake!
- Come on, the pair of you.
644
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:51,588
- Smells marvellous, dunnit?
- Lovely.
645
00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:54,553
- Is that all?
- Perhaps you'd like the whole goose?
646
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:56,398
- Ta.
- Do you mind?
647
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:59,239
His eyes are bigger than he is!
Got enough for two.
648
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,591
When I was in training
I used to eat four times as much.
649
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:05,154
(Snowdrop) 'Ello.
(Sid) Well?
650
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:09,637
- You're just in time for lunch.
- Hi, fellas. Don't get up.
651
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,991
- 'Ere, how did you get on?
- I made three and a tanner.
652
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,554
Cor! Not bad.
How long were you there?
653
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,877
- With Gordon, you twerp.
- What's she doing here?
654
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,434
- Put that knife down.
- Oh, sit down.
655
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,552
She can't eat with us.
She's a prisoner.
656
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,752
- We can keep an eye on her.
- Just leave her alone.
657
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:30,917
Thank you.
I'm glad somebody has some manners.
658
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:34,589
What happened this morning?
As if we couldn't guess.
659
00:46:34,720 --> 00:46:39,191
She won't like this, but her Billy
is making hay with the secretary.
660
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:42,517
Should have seen them.
Kissing her in the car.
661
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:46,030
She's in a mink stole,
big sparkler on her finger.
662
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:49,675
Never mind about that.
What did he say to your offer?
663
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:53,759
What do you think he said?
He's having the time of his life.
664
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,555
- I knew it, you asked too much.
- Too much?! �200?!
665
00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:01,389
�200! He laughed in my face
and gave me threepence.
666
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:05,593
'Ere, Fingers. Not threepence.
I mean, threepence.
667
00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:07,039
No...
668
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:10,550
I call it downright insulting,
a price like that.
669
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,717
- So do I.
- It has nothing to do with you.
670
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:17,037
Hasn't it?
It's me you're selling, isn't it?
671
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,799
Yes, and I'll sell you
for any price I like.
672
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:21,911
Oh, no, you won't!
673
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,429
Just listen to me, you little squirt.
674
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:30,519
Oh, nobody calls me a little squirt
and gets away with it.
675
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:34,110
- Easy, Fingers. She didn't mean it.
- Yes, I did.
676
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,876
Oh, I see I'll have to teach you
a little lesson.
677
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:47,798
Oh! Fingers!
678
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,710
Cor! What a beauty.
Where did you learn that?
679
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:57,118
The army. Anyone else
want to teach me a lesson?
680
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:59,913
I only wanted you
to show me how you did it.
681
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:02,793
- I just did.
- Snowdrop, come here.
682
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:08,751
Help me put him to bed.
683
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,110
Cor, what a beauty! Classic, it was.
684
00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:13,435
Yes, yes. Whisper, guard the door.
685
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:16,120
- What, on my own?
- Yes, you, Hercules.
686
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,511
I warn you, Ma. I never miss.
687
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:22,551
How could he? Oh, how could he?
688
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:26,070
- I could kill him!
- He'll kill you when he wakes up.
689
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,668
- Not that squirt.
- Now simmer down.
690
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:31,519
- On one condition, I'll release you.
- Why?
691
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,438
We don't want to face a murder rap,
that's why.
692
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:37,518
Even Superman there
might commit murder now.
693
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:41,076
Give me your word not to split
to the cops and you can go.
694
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,111
- Go? Where?
- Home.
695
00:48:43,240 --> 00:48:46,835
- That's right, home.
- To a man who told you to kill me?
696
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:52,159
Who wouldn't even give �200 to get
me back? What sort of a home is that?
697
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:54,271
Come on. We've got to be quick.
698
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:57,870
If you release me,
I shall go straight to the police.
699
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,276
- No, I'm going to stay here.
- Don't be stupid.
700
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,073
- Now you've got a chance...
- I was stupid.
701
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,430
I've slaved, even starved for him,
702
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,552
because I loved him
and I thought he loved me.
703
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:11,910
And this is my reward.
704
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:16,192
Well, now I have a chance to get my
own back and I'm going to take it.
705
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,595
You want Billy's money, don't you?
706
00:49:18,720 --> 00:49:20,631
- Yeah.
- So do I.
707
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:24,196
The difference is I know
how to get it and you don't.
708
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,834
You interested? Are you interested?
709
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,474
You mean you want to come in with us?
710
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,592
Oh, no. You come in with me.
711
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:35,359
I lent him �500
to start his fortune,
712
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,472
so I reckon I'm entitled
to half of everything.
713
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:41,034
- Don't you?
- What are you getting at?
714
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:44,197
We'll split 50-50
on everything I lead you to.
715
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,357
And I think I can lead you to a lot.
716
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:49,596
Is it a deal?
717
00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:53,030
- Well, as I see it, I think...
- Shut up! Go on.
718
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:57,039
We start by going to my house.
That's where the first lot is.
719
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:14,672
If my guess is correct, the money's
under the floorboards here.
720
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:16,711
- You're kidding?
- Wanna bet?
721
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:20,071
We could have had that
while we were playing gasmen.
722
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,316
Come on. Give me the jemmy.
723
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:30,112
..and to cap it all, customs pinched
all those guns. Cost me �25,000.
724
00:50:30,240 --> 00:50:33,710
- Poor old Billy!
- I need money for that sugar deal.
725
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,718
- You've still got plenty left.
- Not enough.
726
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:40,469
I've got some in the house,
but it still isn't enough.
727
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:44,354
Darling. You wouldn't lend me
your jewellery, would you?
728
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:47,711
Oh, no! I've had to work hard
to get it out of you.
729
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:50,115
- Work?!
- Yes, hard.
730
00:50:50,240 --> 00:50:53,516
- It would only be a temporary...
- No!
731
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:55,949
Well, I'm very disappointed in you.
732
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,356
- No loyalty to the firm at all.
- Where are you going?
733
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,631
- To the office.
- But you're taking me to dinner.
734
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,911
- I can't afford it.
- You can't afford it?!
735
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:07,758
Sorry. (Laughs)
736
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,316
- There must be 20 grand here!
- A pity there isn't more.
737
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:14,829
Imagine his face
when he comes for it.
738
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,554
I'm sorry to miss that.
That's the lot.
739
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:20,592
- I could kiss you for this.
- I bet you could.
740
00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:22,631
Come on. We've got work to do.
741
00:51:30,720 --> 00:51:32,631
Thank you.
742
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:34,876
This should fix that two-timer.
743
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:54,876
Poor little Lucy.
Didn't deserve such a fate.
744
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:57,878
Never an unkind word.
745
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,151
(Sobs) Never a dirty trick.
Poor innocent...
746
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:02,998
(Phone)
747
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,877
- Hello?
- (Man) 'Mr Gordon?'
748
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:10,911
(Burps) I mean yes.
749
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:12,951
- 'Tommy Weston here.'
- Who?
750
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:15,116
Tommy. Angela's...
751
00:52:15,240 --> 00:52:17,800
Look, sir, you'd better come.
Your house is on fire.
752
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:20,115
What?
753
00:52:20,240 --> 00:52:23,118
- What?!
- 'I'm in the telephone box opposite.
754
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:26,152
'It looks bad,
but we've called the brigade.'
755
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:28,475
Go up to my bedroom. Look under...
756
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:31,353
Oh, no! No, don't!
757
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:34,199
Why did he have to be a taxman?!
758
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,878
- Ah. Is this your car?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah...
759
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:50,276
It's on the wrong side of the road
with no lights on...
760
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:52,311
Oh, get out! Get out!
761
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:55,478
(Groans)
762
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:09,359
Oh, Daddy!
763
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,350
Great Scott!
764
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,119
Wilson! Get in there and get him out.
765
00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:17,753
Yes, sir.
766
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,391
Is he mad?
767
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:25,274
I can't think what he's doing.
He knows there's no one there.
768
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,308
Daddy, are you all right?
Are you...?
769
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:36,873
(Wails)
770
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:39,868
(Crash)
771
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:43,913
Is he mad? Wilson, get him and
hold him this time. He must be mad.
772
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:47,558
(Yells)
773
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:52,879
Turn it off! Turn it off!
774
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,355
You sure
there's no one else inside?
775
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:00,994
- Quite.
- Look, he's up there now.
776
00:54:04,720 --> 00:54:07,473
Now, look,
you're causing a great deal of...
777
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:09,795
Stop him! Stop that maniac!
778
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:16,831
Daddy, for heaven's sake!
779
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:20,999
- I'm going to have you charged.
- Daddy, what is it?
780
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,031
Money... Money!
781
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:24,673
Mummy?
782
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:28,395
Mummy? Oh, I wish I was dead, too.
783
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:35,635
She's got some smashing stuff here.
She did all right.
784
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:37,876
Yes, she did all right, all right.
785
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,151
- That must be worth a few thousand.
- Yes, and this.
786
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:44,670
"To the love of my life. Billy."
787
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,191
Serves him right.
788
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,038
(Door slams)
789
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:51,071
Out! Window!
790
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:58,991
Anybody there?
791
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:01,031
Who's there?
792
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:03,913
Billy?
793
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,353
No!
794
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,755
- My furs! They've...
- (Door opens)
795
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:14,199
(Gordon) Beryl?
796
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,953
Beryl, guess what's happened now.
797
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:19,991
You want me to guess, eh?
798
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:22,395
- What?
- Well, I don't want to guess.
799
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:24,431
You organised that, you swine!
800
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:26,471
- Get out of my house!
- Beryl!
801
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,750
I never want to see you again. Ever!
802
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:34,591
(Pants) 'Ere, Snowdrop.
803
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:38,429
- What?
- How did you develop your muscles?
804
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:42,189
I don't know.
They developed themselves.
805
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:44,959
How much did you weigh
when you were born?
806
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:49,198
Eighteen ounces.
Here, they said I was a miracle.
807
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:54,075
They said I should never
have been born, but I was.
808
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:56,111
What's the time, then?
809
00:55:56,240 --> 00:55:59,676
The big hand's on the 3
and the little hand's on the 12.
810
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:02,997
- 12:15. Are you short-sighted?
- No, I'm worried.
811
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,395
They should have been back by now.
812
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:09,115
- How's your 'ead, boss?
- Where is she? Let me get at her.
813
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:11,310
Where's my gun? Where's my knife?
814
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,715
I'll cut her in pieces!
Where is she?
815
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:15,910
She'll be back. Right, Snowdrop?
816
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,713
- I said where is she?
- Here they are now.
817
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,159
(Door slams)
818
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,191
That's right.
819
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:26,029
Lucy! You look beautiful!
Where did you get them?
820
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:29,391
- Evening. How's the bonce?
- Where've you been?
821
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:33,752
- Getting a few household needs.
- Don't they close nights, then?
822
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:37,111
Oh, it's a joke. (Laughs)
823
00:56:37,240 --> 00:56:40,198
- Very kind, I'm sure.
- Glad you approve, boss.
824
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:43,039
- Wait till you see.
- I'm not interested.
825
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,390
We'll keep you to that.
826
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:48,034
It's all in five hundreds.
827
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:50,071
One for Lucy. One for us.
828
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:53,909
Hands off.
This is nothing to do with you.
829
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,758
Lucy. Us...
830
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:02,638
Mr Gordon. Mr Wilkins here alleges
that after the assault you said,
831
00:57:03,240 --> 00:57:06,915
"You swine! You killed my wife!
I'll slit your throat!"
832
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,429
- Is that true?
- No, I didn't say that.
833
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:14,395
I said "You swine. You've
got a knife. You slit my coat."
834
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:16,511
- You said what?
- Your Honour,
835
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:21,270
I mistook this begg...this gentleman
here for a pickpocket who robbed me.
836
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:25,712
Had you any reason to believe that
Mr Wilkins had murdered your wife?
837
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:27,751
No. None at all, Your Honour.
838
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:31,395
Then, how do you explain saying,
"You killed my wife"?
839
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:33,238
Er... Er... Er...
840
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,078
(Gallery laughs)
841
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:38,954
- I didn't say that, Your Honour.
- Well, what did you say?
842
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:43,870
Er... well, I said,
"You ruined my wife."
843
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:47,276
You mean that old gentleman
ruined your wife?
844
00:57:47,400 --> 00:57:51,234
I... I've never looked at a woman
for 40 years.
845
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,679
(Laughter)
846
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:55,360
No, no, Your Honour.
I didn't mean that.
847
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:59,314
- I meant...I meant life. "My life."
- Then, say what you mean.
848
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:03,228
- Thank you, Mr Gordon.
- Your Honour, I was overwrought.
849
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:05,271
My house burnt down and I...
850
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:08,597
My client expresses deep regret,
Your Worship.
851
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:13,236
I trust his explanation satisfies you
that it was a genuine mistake.
852
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:15,476
It doesn't.
853
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:19,639
Mr Gordon is obviously lying
and obviously hit the wrong man.
854
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,194
- Anything known?
- (Sergeant) No, sir.
855
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:25,232
Fine �5.
And keep out of trouble in future.
856
00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:28,238
- Thank you, Your Honour, but...
- This way.
857
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,078
(Muttering)
858
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:35,348
"Slit your coat." You liar!
859
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:39,359
Number 14 on your list, sir.
William Delaney Gordon.
860
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:46,191
Back again.
861
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:59,793
William Gordon, you are charged
with causing a breach of the peace
862
00:58:59,920 --> 00:59:03,435
at Blaydon Drive, London,
on the night of May 16th.
863
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:07,394
- Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
- Absolutely not guilty.
864
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:10,080
It was my fire.
I'm surely entitled to...
865
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:14,960
(Recites oath)
866
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:18,993
James Smith, Police Constable 166,
S Division, Your Worship.
867
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:21,839
At 9pm on the 16th.
I was assisting at a fire.
868
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:26,238
The accused dived twice into the
building and had to be brought out.
869
00:59:26,360 --> 00:59:28,510
When he attempted it a third time,
870
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:33,031
I tackled him from behind,
whereupon we struggled on the ground.
871
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,071
He was hysterical and said...
872
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:40,390
"Mummy! Oh, Mummy!
I wish I was dead, too."
873
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:43,557
- He addressed you as "Mummy"?
- (Laughter)
874
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:48,629
I don't know. I took him to
the station where he was cautioned,
875
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:52,355
and he said, "Give me a ruddy rope
and I'll hang myself now."
876
00:59:52,480 --> 00:59:53,993
(Laughter)
877
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,190
No one in their right mind
would call you "Mummy".
878
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:00,311
I put it to you that you misheard.
879
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:04,194
Mr Gordon's daughter asked him
why he dashed into the fire.
880
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:06,231
He replied, "Bunny."
881
01:00:06,360 --> 01:00:10,478
She, mishearing him, exclaimed,
"Money"?
882
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:14,673
And he said, "Bunny. No, Bunny.
I wish I was dead, too."
883
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:16,995
Now, now, now. Wait, wait, wait.
884
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:22,114
You allege it went "money", "Mummy"
and "Bunny. Oh, Bunny"?
885
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:26,552
No, sir. No, sir... "Bunny", "money"
and "Bunny. No, Bunny".
886
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:28,830
No "Mummy" at all.
887
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:32,430
"Bunny", "money"
and "Bunny. Oh, Bunny".
888
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:36,951
No, sir. No, sir...
"Bunny. No, Bunny", not "oh, Bunny".
889
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:42,473
- Oh, b... Really! Does it matter?
- (Lawyer) Very much, Your Worship.
890
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:46,957
Excuse me, Sir, it was "Mummy".
"Mummy" and "Mummy".
891
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:51,392
- No bunny was mentioned to me.
- Mr Gordon had a cold.
892
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:53,476
What's that got to do with it?
893
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:57,673
Oh, with a cold in the nose, "money"
sounds like "bunny".
894
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:01,713
(Imitates) "I've lost my bunny."
As my client will testify,
895
01:01:01,840 --> 01:01:06,197
he mentioned neither money nor
Mummy, but Bunny...his budgerigar.
896
01:01:06,320 --> 01:01:07,639
(Laughter)
897
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:11,878
Please note, Your Worship,
that my client's feathered friend
898
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,070
was lost on that fateful night.
899
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:17,590
- (Lawyer) I call Mr Gordon...
- Where are we going?
900
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:20,314
Out, before they call you
as a witness.
901
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:22,351
- Why?
- Well...
902
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:25,313
Did you ever own
a budgerigar called Bunny?
903
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:28,352
- No.
- And what did he say at the fire?
904
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:30,391
Yes, he did say "Mummy".
905
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,909
Exactly.
And where is your mother?
906
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:36,350
- Oh, Tommy. I wish I knew.
- Don't worry about it.
907
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:39,199
That's what we're going
to find out now.
908
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:42,517
Arriving at the fire,
what was your first thought?
909
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:44,551
My canary... Parrot...
910
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:48,275
- Budgerigar!
- Don't answer your own questions.
911
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:52,359
- A budgerigar is a kind of parrot.
- (Judge) Now stop it!
912
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:56,511
When forcibly restrained,
what did you cry out?
913
01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:59,438
I...cried out the name of the bird.
914
01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:02,559
Binky.
915
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:06,830
- Er...Bonzo?
- Bunny!
916
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:10,191
- Oh, Bunny. Bunny.
- This is all highly improper.
917
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:13,630
As you well know,
you must not prompt witnesses.
918
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:15,671
- Questions?
- No, Your Worship.
919
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:19,713
Your Honour, my one thought
was to save the little perisher...
920
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:21,910
the little bird from perishing.
921
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:24,315
Thank you, Mr Gordon. Thank you.
922
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:27,000
Your Worship,
I'm sure that you realise
923
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:30,510
that this whole affair
is due to a misunderstanding.
924
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:34,349
Quite so. I am persuaded
that you were trying to rescue
925
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:40,794
something more valuable than a bird,
and that is money, spelled C-A-S-H.
926
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:44,390
Fined ten pounds...cash.
927
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:45,919
(Laughter)
928
01:02:46,040 --> 01:02:48,235
Thank you. Believe me...
929
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:51,193
I shan't believe you, Mr Gordon.
Go away.
930
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:54,551
I've heard quite enough of you.
Next case, please.
931
01:02:54,680 --> 01:02:57,797
- Well, that's a pity, because...
- Come along.
932
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:03,198
Number 15 on your list, sir.
William Delaney Gordon.
933
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:15,718
(Laughter)
934
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:34,028
Mr Gordon, you are charged
with causing obstruction
935
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:36,116
with your car on May 16th
936
01:03:36,240 --> 01:03:41,633
and with assaulting Police Constable
Clutter during execution of his duty.
937
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:43,478
(Laughter)
938
01:03:44,960 --> 01:03:47,076
Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
939
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:49,111
Not guilty.
940
01:03:49,240 --> 01:03:50,958
(Recites oath)
941
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:57,118
(Laughter)
942
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:02,948
'Ere, listen. Listen to this.
943
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:06,470
"I was trying
to rescue my budgerigar," he said.
944
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:10,070
Oh, poor little budgerigar!
945
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:14,637
- I almost feel sorry for the fella.
- He must be wondering what hit him.
946
01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:17,877
Nice to see you
in such fine spirits, fellas.
947
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:23,789
Help me change that wheel, Snowdrop?
948
01:04:23,920 --> 01:04:27,196
Yeah. I never saw no budgerigar
in that house.
949
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,436
- Oh, come on.
- What wheel?
950
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:31,835
Oh, get out of it!
951
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:37,512
(Whispers) Whisper, looks like
we struck it rich at last, eh?
952
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:39,358
- Yes.
- Yes.
953
01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:41,391
- You know what?
- What?
954
01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:45,308
- Lucy did us proud, eh?
- (Raises voice) Lucy! Lucy!
955
01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:48,391
- Lucy!
- Good morning.
956
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:54,151
What are you staring at?
957
01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:56,191
Where did you get that hair?
958
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,788
Out of a bottle,
like your girlfriend.
959
01:04:58,920 --> 01:05:02,959
Well, put it back. How can
I send you home looking like that?
960
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:05,514
You're not. I'm going to stay here.
961
01:05:05,640 --> 01:05:09,235
Oh, yes, I am.
You organised those raids last night,
962
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:11,316
so you can't threaten us no more.
963
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,476
If you know what's good for you...
964
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:17,559
Do you remember the last time
you threatened me, sonny boy?
965
01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:19,591
What's the matter with you?
966
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:21,836
You've got the half the money.
967
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:25,236
I'm willing to set you free.
What more do you want?
968
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:28,716
I'll tell you. I haven't finished
with Billy Gordon.
969
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:31,912
Did you read
about that woman murdered?
970
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:35,032
- Yes, disgusting.
- It didn't give you an idea?
971
01:05:35,160 --> 01:05:37,958
Why should it?
It's got nothing to do with me.
972
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:41,834
No, but Billy reckons I'm dead
and that you did it.
973
01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:44,838
He's barmy!
I wouldn't do a thing like that.
974
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:51,912
'Ere! I've just had a idea. If he
thinks that, we could blackmail him.
975
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:54,879
- You're a genius.
- Yes, I am. (Chuckles)
976
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,911
What a turn-up! It can't fail.
977
01:05:57,040 --> 01:06:00,237
It can if it's left to you.
Let me do the thinking.
978
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:03,875
The first thing you're going to do
is have your hair cut
979
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,719
to carry out the plan
that I have in mind.
980
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:10,116
- I'm not having my hair cut.
- Oh, yes, you are.
981
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:18,878
(Tuts)
982
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:23,949
- Daddy!
- Oh, hello, darling.
983
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:28,989
- Daddy, where is Mummy?
- Er... She's gone away.
984
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:31,991
The truth is...she's abroad.
985
01:06:32,120 --> 01:06:35,829
- We just can't accept that.
- It's nothing to do with you!
986
01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:39,555
- That's where you're wrong, sir.
- Just stick to income tax.
987
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:43,389
It's too late for that now, sir.
I married Angela yesterday.
988
01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:46,956
- What?!
- And I shall stick to income tax.
989
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:50,675
I'm now the inspector
in charge of your files.
990
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:54,679
Now, look, old son. There's
no mystery about this, you know.
991
01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,916
We can just have a little chat.
992
01:06:57,040 --> 01:06:58,359
(Knock at door)
993
01:06:59,960 --> 01:07:01,951
Mr Gordon?
994
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:04,993
Ye... Yes.
995
01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:09,111
(Mutters) Take it off.
996
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:13,950
I hope you'll forgive us barging in.
Inspector Wainwright, Scotland Yard.
997
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:18,949
This is Sergeant Sykes. Do you mind
if I speak in front of your friends?
998
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:23,676
Look, I'll see you later
and explain everything. Not to worry.
999
01:07:23,800 --> 01:07:26,030
We won't detain you very long, sir.
1000
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:31,672
- Detain me?
- Here, I mean, sir. (Chuckles)
1001
01:07:34,600 --> 01:07:36,955
Of course not. Of course not.
1002
01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:40,356
Certain statements
have caused some speculation
1003
01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:42,755
as to the whereabouts of Mrs Gordon.
1004
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:47,229
- Mmm?
- Mrs Gordon.
1005
01:07:48,080 --> 01:07:50,719
Oh, Mrs Gordon.
1006
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:54,799
Er, yes... Well, she left
a few days ago after a quarrel.
1007
01:07:57,640 --> 01:07:59,358
Ah!
1008
01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:05,870
Then there is no question
of her having disappeared?
1009
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,639
Eh? Oh, no! Rather not.
Good lord, no.
1010
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:11,991
No, we're in daily contact...
on the telephone.
1011
01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:14,391
I see.
1012
01:08:18,640 --> 01:08:21,074
Oh, well. There it is, then. Gossip.
1013
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:23,111
Nasty thing, that gossip.
1014
01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:25,356
Sykes, I'll go on to Tottenham.
1015
01:08:25,480 --> 01:08:28,074
You report
that the Gordon file is clear.
1016
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:30,111
Very good, sir.
1017
01:08:30,240 --> 01:08:34,631
We're investigating that very
gruesome Great North Road murder.
1018
01:08:36,040 --> 01:08:38,110
Good day, sir.
1019
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:40,151
Good day.
1020
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:47,559
Phew!
1021
01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:55,877
(Clears throat)
1022
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:01,349
Have you forgotten something?
1023
01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:05,996
No, sir.
I haven't forgotten something.
1024
01:09:06,120 --> 01:09:09,590
But you have, haven't you, sir?
1025
01:09:09,720 --> 01:09:11,631
Something wrong with your eye?
1026
01:09:11,760 --> 01:09:14,832
No, sir.
They tell me it's pretty sharp.
1027
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:17,235
Why does it keep winking, then?
1028
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:20,113
A nod is as good as a wink
to a blind horse.
1029
01:09:20,240 --> 01:09:24,472
- A nod...? What does that mean?
- That's an old Latin quotation
1030
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:28,115
and it means,
"Is this your old woman's nightie?"
1031
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:32,074
It was found by the body
on the Great North Road.
1032
01:09:32,200 --> 01:09:37,194
The underworld grapevine says that
you instructed a gang to do her in.
1033
01:09:37,320 --> 01:09:39,231
- That's a lie.
- Is it?
1034
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:43,751
Oh, you told the inspector some
whoppers just now, didn't you, sir?
1035
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:46,997
'Ere, supposing
he wanted to meet your missus?
1036
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:50,908
You'd have a bit of a job
finding the bits, wouldn't you, sir?
1037
01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:53,838
- How much do you want?
- How much have you got?
1038
01:09:53,960 --> 01:09:55,916
Practically nothing. Look.
1039
01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:59,715
Nothing in the cupboard, eh?
We'll just have to make do...
1040
01:09:59,840 --> 01:10:04,311
- Just a minute, I've got to live.
- So have I, Billy-Boy. So have I.
1041
01:10:04,440 --> 01:10:06,954
We'll just have to make do with this.
1042
01:10:07,080 --> 01:10:09,913
Oh, keep it.
You're a disgrace to the force.
1043
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:12,315
Oh, don't say that, sir.
1044
01:10:12,440 --> 01:10:14,351
Well, ta-ta, Billy-Boy...
1045
01:10:14,480 --> 01:10:16,198
Oh!
1046
01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:21,111
Keep smiling.
1047
01:10:24,480 --> 01:10:27,995
"A nod is a good as a wink
to a blind horse!" (Spits)
1048
01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:40,838
Extraordinary fellow.
What Division was he?
1049
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:42,871
- Five Division, sir.
- Oh.
1050
01:10:51,880 --> 01:10:53,598
- Mr Gordon?
- Oh!
1051
01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:55,676
Sorry to come barging in, sir.
1052
01:10:55,800 --> 01:10:59,588
Inspector Jensen, Scotland Yard.
This is Sergeant Smale.
1053
01:10:59,720 --> 01:11:02,234
A small inquiry about your wife, sir.
1054
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:05,318
We won't detain you
longer than necessary.
1055
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:13,789
Wha...? W-What do you want?
1056
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:18,835
Well, in view of certain statements
you made about her disappearance...
1057
01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:21,190
- What are you winking at?
- Sir?
1058
01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:25,598
I've got it! It's a conspiracy!
The whole police force is in it.
1059
01:11:25,720 --> 01:11:28,951
- Mr Gordon!
- Don't "Mr Gordon" me, bloodsucker.
1060
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:33,073
Go and carve it up with Sykes.
Not a penny more. I'd rather hang.
1061
01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:36,670
Are you suggesting that
officers are accepting money?
1062
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:39,030
Accepting?! Huh! I like that!
1063
01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:43,119
He only accepted �3,000,
and that's your lot, cock.
1064
01:11:43,240 --> 01:11:46,391
- Now get out!
- Mr Gordon, you would be wise...
1065
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:50,069
- Hang on. Have you got a warrant?
- No, but I can...
1066
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:53,073
Well, get out of it
before I sling you out.
1067
01:11:53,200 --> 01:11:56,749
- Well, go on, beat it!
- You'll be hearing from us again.
1068
01:11:56,880 --> 01:12:00,270
And you'll be wasting
your flipping time!
1069
01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:06,430
Three, four hundred. 50, 60, 70...
1070
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,471
I shan't go far on 470.
1071
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:13,470
- What now, sir?
- Get hold of Sykes of Five Division.
1072
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:18,196
And start digging at Gordon's house.
He killed his wife all right.
1073
01:12:24,600 --> 01:12:26,158
(Charmaine) Oh!
1074
01:12:28,160 --> 01:12:30,116
Do you mind?
1075
01:12:31,200 --> 01:12:34,954
What's this? A nightie?
You going away for the weekend?
1076
01:12:35,080 --> 01:12:37,275
Give me that. Who are you?
1077
01:12:37,400 --> 01:12:43,794
- Don't you recognise me?
- No... Oh, yes. I couldn't forget.
1078
01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:48,472
I certainly couldn't.
Well, what do you want?
1079
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:51,751
- Oh, they killed your wife.
- Yes, I know.
1080
01:12:51,880 --> 01:12:55,156
- Why didn't you pay?
- I thought they were bluffing.
1081
01:12:55,280 --> 01:12:59,239
- I didn't think he could kill a fly.
- They haven't finished yet.
1082
01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:02,557
They're going dress as policemen
to blackmail you.
1083
01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:06,195
I heard them plotting it.
Inspector Wainwright and...
1084
01:13:06,320 --> 01:13:08,231
Sergeant Sykes?
1085
01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:10,271
And I fell for it.
1086
01:13:10,400 --> 01:13:12,630
- I fell for it!
- Then, I'm too late.
1087
01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:14,671
You're �3,000 too late.
1088
01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:17,792
At least the second lot
didn't get anything.
1089
01:13:17,920 --> 01:13:21,708
- What second lot?
- Inspector Jensen and the other one.
1090
01:13:21,840 --> 01:13:23,876
But there wasn't a second lot.
1091
01:13:25,680 --> 01:13:27,238
No?
1092
01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:34,272
Look, the gang's idea
was to blackmail you,
1093
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:37,278
then write an anonymous letter
to the police,
1094
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:39,311
saying you killed your wife.
1095
01:13:39,440 --> 01:13:43,035
Well, they needn't bother.
I've done that myself.
1096
01:13:43,160 --> 01:13:47,597
I've got to get out of the country.
Where can I get a false passport?
1097
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:50,678
Oh, I can help you there.
My uncle makes them.
1098
01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:52,711
You're kidding. How soon?
1099
01:13:52,840 --> 01:13:55,070
Well, tomorrow, on conditions.
1100
01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:57,919
- What conditions?
- You take me with you.
1101
01:13:58,040 --> 01:14:01,953
I don't hold with murder.
If they find out, they'll kill me.
1102
01:14:02,080 --> 01:14:06,153
- All right. The passports, how much?
- We need two. That's �500.
1103
01:14:06,280 --> 01:14:08,191
You'll take 460. That's my lot.
1104
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:10,788
Your lot?
What will we live on abroad?
1105
01:14:10,920 --> 01:14:15,630
I've got some saved for emergencies.
Let's get the photographs taken.
1106
01:14:16,800 --> 01:14:19,951
Well, it really looks
as if my dreams might come true.
1107
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:23,390
- Dreams? What dreams?
- Oh, a country house,
1108
01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:25,715
a cook, a butler and a gardener.
1109
01:14:25,840 --> 01:14:30,356
All the things that Billy promised
me, but never would have given me.
1110
01:14:30,480 --> 01:14:32,436
I've only got one dream.
1111
01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:35,996
A little garden
and a big girl, my own size.
1112
01:14:36,120 --> 01:14:37,838
(Chuckles gleefully)
1113
01:14:37,960 --> 01:14:41,475
It worked like a dream.
I played it beautifully.
1114
01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:45,275
- I wish you'd all been there.
- Never mind that. How much?
1115
01:14:45,400 --> 01:14:48,039
- �2,300.
- Empty your pockets.
1116
01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:50,435
- How dare you?!
- Turn them out,
1117
01:14:50,560 --> 01:14:52,471
or must we do it for you?
1118
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:56,354
I've never been more insulted
in all my life. How dare you?!
1119
01:14:56,480 --> 01:15:00,393
- Keep your distance.
- He's right. It is insulting.
1120
01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:04,195
Thank you. It's time we decided
who's boss, once and for all.
1121
01:15:04,320 --> 01:15:07,790
We have. In your absence,
we held an election.
1122
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:11,071
You were defeated
and I was elected unanimously.
1123
01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:15,557
Now, put away that silly gun and
empty your pockets like a good boy.
1124
01:15:17,440 --> 01:15:21,956
You can't do that. Her? A woman?!
After all I've done for you!
1125
01:15:22,080 --> 01:15:26,551
You're lucky we ain't strangled you.
Now, cough up or maybe we will.
1126
01:15:26,680 --> 01:15:28,591
He's right, you know. We might.
1127
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:31,553
All right. There you are.
1128
01:15:31,680 --> 01:15:33,830
I wasn't going to keep it.
1129
01:15:33,960 --> 01:15:37,111
- Now, the other one.
- (Yelps) There isn't any more.
1130
01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:40,111
- What's this?
- My petty cash.
1131
01:15:40,240 --> 01:15:42,913
- Petty cash!
- That's better. Is that all?
1132
01:15:43,040 --> 01:15:44,598
(Squeals) Yes!
1133
01:15:47,480 --> 01:15:50,631
Guess what? I got nearly �500
for fake passports.
1134
01:15:50,760 --> 01:15:53,991
- Well done.
- He's potty. A real one's 30 bob.
1135
01:15:54,120 --> 01:15:56,953
And that's not all.
He has got a secret cache.
1136
01:15:57,080 --> 01:15:58,991
- Where?
- I don't know.
1137
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:03,477
But he's meeting me at Southampton
tomorrow and bringing the money.
1138
01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:06,592
- And he'll just slip off.
- I have the passports.
1139
01:16:06,720 --> 01:16:08,995
Why aren't you travelling together?
1140
01:16:09,120 --> 01:16:11,953
He has to say goodbye to his mother.
1141
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:13,991
Ah, that's nice, innit?
1142
01:16:14,120 --> 01:16:17,476
Got it! That's where it is -
at his mother's.
1143
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:21,593
- How do you know?
- Because, dimwit,
1144
01:16:21,720 --> 01:16:24,792
he couldn't care less
about his dear old mother.
1145
01:16:24,920 --> 01:16:28,230
Boys, I think our little
partnership is almost over.
1146
01:16:28,360 --> 01:16:31,750
I think we're onto the last
of his lolly.
1147
01:16:42,520 --> 01:16:44,033
(Honks horn)
1148
01:16:51,560 --> 01:16:53,278
(Knocks on door)
1149
01:16:58,360 --> 01:17:00,669
- Billy! My boy.
- Hello, Ma.
1150
01:17:00,800 --> 01:17:02,711
- Drunk again?
- Not this time.
1151
01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:04,796
How are you, Ma?
1152
01:17:04,920 --> 01:17:09,550
Billy-Boy, what you want, really,
is a cup of nice strong coffee.
1153
01:17:09,680 --> 01:17:12,114
Jolly good idea.
I'll go and make one.
1154
01:17:12,240 --> 01:17:15,710
No, Billy, don't do that.
I'll go and make it for you.
1155
01:17:15,840 --> 01:17:17,159
(Locks door)
1156
01:17:17,280 --> 01:17:21,034
- Billy, why are you doing that?
- I'll tell you in a minute.
1157
01:17:21,160 --> 01:17:24,038
Billy. Are you staying
over the weekend?
1158
01:17:24,160 --> 01:17:28,711
- No, I'm going to South America.
- Oh, Billy! South America?
1159
01:17:28,840 --> 01:17:31,513
- (Fingers) Good evening.
- Good evening.
1160
01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:34,200
Could you spare
a glass of water, please?
1161
01:17:34,320 --> 01:17:36,675
Certainly. Certainly.
1162
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:41,112
These gentlemen are asking for some
water, but I'm going to make tea.
1163
01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,595
Thank you. Thank you very much.
1164
01:17:45,280 --> 01:17:47,191
No so fast, Billy-Boy.
1165
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:50,517
Aren't you going to kiss
your Mummy goodbye?
1166
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:07,076
What are you...?! Oh, no!
1167
01:18:07,200 --> 01:18:09,919
You... Well, what do you want now?
1168
01:18:10,040 --> 01:18:12,600
We've come to help you
with the luggage.
1169
01:18:12,720 --> 01:18:18,750
'Ere, there's a black car
with P-O-L-I-C-E on it.
1170
01:18:18,880 --> 01:18:22,953
Stay put. Billy won't say a word.
He daren't. Unbolt the door.
1171
01:18:27,720 --> 01:18:29,631
- Oh, good evening.
- Hello.
1172
01:18:29,760 --> 01:18:33,435
Mr Gordon. I understand
that you're leaving the country?
1173
01:18:33,560 --> 01:18:35,710
- Wha...? What?
- Is that so?
1174
01:18:35,840 --> 01:18:38,718
Nonsense.
I came down to see my mother.
1175
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:43,072
- Oh! Is this your case?
- No, sir. No, it's mine.
1176
01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:45,791
Haven't we met before?
1177
01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:49,913
No, sir. No, I don't think so.
The name is Harry Maltravers.
1178
01:18:50,040 --> 01:18:53,953
We were passing and the good lady
offered us some refreshment.
1179
01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:55,991
But I see you're busy, sir.
1180
01:18:56,120 --> 01:18:59,476
Come, gentlemen,
we must be on our way. Good day.
1181
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:02,068
Thank you for your hospitality, sir.
1182
01:19:02,200 --> 01:19:05,237
Oh, and do apologise
to the good lady for me.
1183
01:19:05,360 --> 01:19:07,794
Cheerio, sir. (Mutters) Scarper.
1184
01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:13,349
Now, Mr Gordon,
I'm going to ask you a few questions.
1185
01:19:13,480 --> 01:19:15,789
Do you recognise this nightdress?
1186
01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:18,753
Yes, they did it!
Come on, let's get them!
1187
01:19:18,880 --> 01:19:20,791
Do you mind?
1188
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:24,390
I have reason to believe
that you murdered your wife.
1189
01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:28,798
Don't be ridiculous! Why would
I murder my wife? I loved her.
1190
01:19:28,920 --> 01:19:31,559
We had our differences,
but who doesn't?
1191
01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:34,592
I'd sacrifice anything
to have my Lucy back.
1192
01:19:44,120 --> 01:19:46,156
Oh, Billy! Billy!
1193
01:19:46,280 --> 01:19:49,113
Oh, I said he was drunk
when he came in.
1194
01:19:49,240 --> 01:19:51,515
No, he's had
the most terrible shock.
1195
01:19:51,640 --> 01:19:55,553
He really thought I'd left him
for good, didn't you, dear?
1196
01:19:55,680 --> 01:19:57,591
Come on, Sergeant.
1197
01:20:01,120 --> 01:20:02,838
(Cheering and shouting)
1198
01:20:06,400 --> 01:20:08,834
And pinching his car
to get away in, eh?
1199
01:20:08,960 --> 01:20:11,030
This is better than a hearse, eh?
1200
01:20:11,160 --> 01:20:13,276
Slow down or we'll finish up in one.
1201
01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:15,709
Cheer up, Sid.
We're rich at last.
1202
01:20:15,840 --> 01:20:17,751
- Who's got the case?
- I have.
1203
01:20:17,880 --> 01:20:20,713
Hang on to it.
There's 50,000 there for us.
1204
01:20:20,840 --> 01:20:22,796
No, Lucy gets half, remember?
1205
01:20:22,920 --> 01:20:26,879
Lucy's had hers. She's kissed
goodbye to this little lot.
1206
01:20:27,720 --> 01:20:29,790
His face when you took that case!
1207
01:20:29,920 --> 01:20:34,198
'Ere, gentlemen.
I've just been thinking.
1208
01:20:34,320 --> 01:20:36,356
- Is this honest?
- Oh, shut up!
1209
01:20:36,480 --> 01:20:39,233
Never mind.
Hang on to that case...tight.
1210
01:20:39,360 --> 01:20:40,759
Right-ho.
1211
01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:48,678
(All sing) # We're in the money now
1212
01:20:48,800 --> 01:20:50,313
# We're in the money now
1213
01:20:50,440 --> 01:20:52,271
# We're in the money now... #
96062
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