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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,006 --> 00:00:01,600 Previously on "You Me Her"... 2 00:00:01,619 --> 00:00:03,870 Did you know that trying to do everything in threes, 3 00:00:03,871 --> 00:00:06,675 especially sex, is a [WHISTLES] poly foul? 4 00:00:06,693 --> 00:00:08,726 Somebody put a full-price offer on this house. 5 00:00:08,761 --> 00:00:10,461 Helen's gonna do us a landlord solid 6 00:00:10,496 --> 00:00:12,229 and give us 72 hours to match it. 7 00:00:12,264 --> 00:00:13,609 Could this morning be any more stressful? 8 00:00:13,633 --> 00:00:15,332 - Don't say that. - I'm having what?! 9 00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:16,934 They're twins, normal human girls, 10 00:00:16,970 --> 00:00:18,970 not aliens or devil children. 11 00:00:19,005 --> 00:00:20,971 I'm gonna get a real job with a real salary 12 00:00:21,006 --> 00:00:23,307 so I can help us get the loan for the house. 13 00:00:23,342 --> 00:00:24,808 "I've got a session." 14 00:00:24,843 --> 00:00:26,610 I never thought I'd actually be saying that 15 00:00:26,645 --> 00:00:28,178 as the therapist and not the patient. 16 00:00:28,214 --> 00:00:29,546 Good morning, darling. 17 00:00:29,582 --> 00:00:31,615 You look a little, uh... gorgeous. 18 00:00:31,650 --> 00:00:33,016 That's the word I was gonna say. 19 00:00:33,051 --> 00:00:35,319 - Thanks? - So, how about school? 20 00:00:35,354 --> 00:00:37,787 You really should mind your own business. 21 00:00:37,823 --> 00:00:40,190 Don't get that stupid savior look in your eye. 22 00:00:40,226 --> 00:00:42,359 - Are you still in love with them? - More than ever. 23 00:00:42,394 --> 00:00:44,628 Then you need to figure a way to love their life. 24 00:00:44,663 --> 00:00:46,663 I have a gift. Pumpkin spice. 25 00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:48,865 The official shit candle of Hawthorne Heights. 26 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:51,602 Nathan. Nathan, Izzy. Izzy is also a shrink. 27 00:00:51,637 --> 00:00:53,570 She works with troubled teens at Directions. 28 00:00:53,606 --> 00:00:55,182 I'm just gonna play it cool until you tell me 29 00:00:55,206 --> 00:00:57,774 I'm definitely not getting this job. 30 00:00:57,809 --> 00:01:00,543 You are definitely not getting this job. 31 00:01:00,578 --> 00:01:01,945 I'm just gonna call 911. 32 00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:03,179 Jack. Izzy. 33 00:01:03,214 --> 00:01:04,848 Emma. 34 00:01:04,883 --> 00:01:14,057 35 00:01:14,092 --> 00:01:16,526 Hi. Excuse me. Nope, not you. 36 00:01:16,561 --> 00:01:18,061 Hi. Excuse me. Hi. 37 00:01:18,096 --> 00:01:20,830 Um, we... Our, um, wife was admitted earlier tonight. 38 00:01:20,866 --> 00:01:22,666 Right, and before you go, like, "Our wife?" 39 00:01:22,701 --> 00:01:23,878 her name is Emma Trakarsky. Yeah. 40 00:01:23,902 --> 00:01:25,334 - And she's a beautif... - Hey! 41 00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:26,870 Where the hell have you two been?! 42 00:01:26,905 --> 00:01:29,404 My... My ringer was off, and I didn't quite hear the... 43 00:01:29,439 --> 00:01:30,751 Yeah, and my phone was also kind of on the... 44 00:01:30,775 --> 00:01:31,885 - It was... -... on the brink. 45 00:01:31,909 --> 00:01:33,208 You know, this is so typical. 46 00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:34,587 The shit gets real, and Mama's left 47 00:01:34,611 --> 00:01:36,123 to handle everything on her own, right? 48 00:01:36,147 --> 00:01:37,713 You got to live large in the spotlight, 49 00:01:37,748 --> 00:01:39,581 and we toil away in anonymity, 50 00:01:39,616 --> 00:01:41,216 Emma making not one, but two humans, 51 00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,418 and me just holding the whole damn world together 52 00:01:43,453 --> 00:01:44,687 while Dave can't even remember 53 00:01:44,722 --> 00:01:46,254 what city he's lounging around in. 54 00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:47,768 I mean, honestly, would it be so terrible 55 00:01:47,792 --> 00:01:49,725 if he just choked on his room-service prime rib? 56 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,772 - You know, not to death, because I love him... - Mm. No, no. 57 00:01:51,796 --> 00:01:54,041 ... but enough so that the EMTs just have to kick in the door 58 00:01:54,065 --> 00:01:55,809 and then they find some weird porn paused on the TV, 59 00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:57,132 and they put on Instagram. 60 00:01:57,168 --> 00:01:58,934 - Would that be so fucking terrible?! - Carmen. 61 00:01:58,969 --> 00:02:00,402 - Is Emma okay? - Who? 62 00:02:00,437 --> 00:02:01,847 Oh, yeah, she's fine. Babies are fine. 63 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:04,872 [BOTH SIGH] - I'm gonna go now. 64 00:02:04,908 --> 00:02:07,053 - Where... Should we follow you, or... - Okay, but is she... Is she... Is she... 65 00:02:07,077 --> 00:02:10,011 Emma, are you okay? 66 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:11,757 - Oh, guys, I'm so embarrassed. - Does it hurt? What's going on? 67 00:02:11,781 --> 00:02:13,614 No, no, no. It was just gas. It was gas. 68 00:02:13,649 --> 00:02:15,728 - It's... I'm... I'm fine. Where were you guys? - Hey. 69 00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:17,563 You know, it's like you fell off the edge of the earth. 70 00:02:17,587 --> 00:02:19,120 We were at, uh... 71 00:02:19,155 --> 00:02:20,855 - At a class. - Mm-hmm. 72 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,257 For home... home improvement. 73 00:02:23,292 --> 00:02:24,458 Uh-huh. A class? 74 00:02:24,493 --> 00:02:25,793 - Uh, yep. - Ah. 75 00:02:25,829 --> 00:02:27,528 You know how, um, I wanna be handier 76 00:02:27,563 --> 00:02:29,130 - around the house, like my dad? - Uh-huh. 77 00:02:29,165 --> 00:02:30,965 Well, turns out I'm going through 78 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,734 a mild identity crisis... 79 00:02:32,769 --> 00:02:34,278 - Oh. -... which is very common for guys 80 00:02:34,302 --> 00:02:35,847 who are approaching parenthood and middle age 81 00:02:35,871 --> 00:02:37,137 at the same time. 82 00:02:37,172 --> 00:02:38,504 You smell like... 83 00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:40,506 Alcohol. 84 00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:41,908 - Good nose. - Yes. 85 00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:43,409 They were serving it there. 86 00:02:43,445 --> 00:02:45,912 They... You know what? Sometimes they, uh... 87 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:48,648 You know how at cooking classes they serve wine? Similar. 88 00:02:48,683 --> 00:02:50,028 - Mm-hmm. - No, no, it smells more like, um... 89 00:02:50,052 --> 00:02:51,684 Bourbon? Right? 90 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,331 - I was gonna say that before you interrupted... - Do we? 91 00:02:53,355 --> 00:02:54,130 ... because I wasn't done. 92 00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:54,990 We've been talking about 93 00:02:54,991 --> 00:02:56,820 - this not-interrupting thing, right? - Have we? 94 00:02:56,821 --> 00:02:58,225 - Ah. - Look, the bottom line 95 00:02:58,260 --> 00:03:00,193 is that we didn't learn anything 96 00:03:00,229 --> 00:03:01,795 that we could actually demonstrate. 97 00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:03,708 - If you were to ask. - You've been House Catting me. 98 00:03:03,732 --> 00:03:05,565 - House Catting? - House Catting me. 99 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,445 You know, like, when the house cat gets away for the weekend, 100 00:03:07,469 --> 00:03:08,909 runs with the strays, and comes back 101 00:03:08,937 --> 00:03:10,481 a guilty, matted mess spinning tall tales. 102 00:03:10,505 --> 00:03:11,804 That's you two right now. 103 00:03:11,839 --> 00:03:13,939 I don't know about cats t... telling tales. 104 00:03:13,975 --> 00:03:16,342 Guys, just where were you? Just tell me where you were. 105 00:03:16,378 --> 00:03:18,678 - Shaun's new bar. - Shaun's new bar. 106 00:03:18,713 --> 00:03:21,481 See, now, was that so hard? A little honesty? 107 00:03:21,516 --> 00:03:22,815 - Sorry. - Sorry. 108 00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:24,517 So, here's the thing: I'm totally fine. 109 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:26,753 It was a false alarm. I got a clean bill of health. 110 00:03:26,788 --> 00:03:28,020 You know, damn the luck. 111 00:03:28,055 --> 00:03:29,600 It happened in the middle of my interview. 112 00:03:29,624 --> 00:03:31,324 - No, Emma, I'm sorry. - Yes. 113 00:03:31,359 --> 00:03:33,036 No, no, no. It's fine, because I totally rocked it. 114 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:34,661 [CLEARS THROAT] 115 00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:36,340 Dr. Bhang, how long have you been standing there? 116 00:03:36,364 --> 00:03:38,008 Long enough to hear that torrent of bullshit. 117 00:03:38,032 --> 00:03:39,543 The only words you got right were the ones 118 00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:42,702 that don't matter, like "she" and "the." 119 00:03:42,737 --> 00:03:46,305 Your wife had what's called Braxton-Hicks contractions. 120 00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:49,708 Which, I assume, is not the technical term for gas? 121 00:03:49,743 --> 00:03:51,811 So I left a few things out. 122 00:03:51,846 --> 00:03:53,190 What, you wanna tell me a little more 123 00:03:53,214 --> 00:03:55,014 about your drunk-handyman class? 124 00:03:55,049 --> 00:03:57,917 Anyway, Braxton-Hicks isn't unusual at this stage, 125 00:03:57,952 --> 00:04:00,452 but your symptoms were more pronounced than I'd like to see. 126 00:04:00,487 --> 00:04:02,788 - Oh, my God. Is it serious? - Not this time. 127 00:04:02,824 --> 00:04:04,589 But at your age with twins, 128 00:04:04,625 --> 00:04:06,192 I'd like to keep an eye on things. 129 00:04:06,227 --> 00:04:07,960 So watch out for bleeding 130 00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:10,429 and take it easy for a little while. 131 00:04:10,464 --> 00:04:13,665 This is your body's way of saying "slow down." 132 00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:15,645 But when you say it's my body's way of saying "slow down," 133 00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:19,370 - you mean, like... - Slow. Down. 134 00:04:19,405 --> 00:04:21,639 - Got it. - Doc. 135 00:04:21,674 --> 00:04:24,020 At what stage of pregnancy are tranquilizer darts acceptable? 136 00:04:24,044 --> 00:04:26,177 I neither heard that nor told you 137 00:04:26,213 --> 00:04:29,013 that they're readily available at most outdoor-sporting-goods stores. 138 00:04:29,049 --> 00:04:31,649 - I like her. - She's funny. 139 00:04:31,684 --> 00:04:35,419 MAN: Today, we are going to show everything you need to know 140 00:04:35,455 --> 00:04:38,256 to get your slippery shelf locked and loaded 141 00:04:38,291 --> 00:04:40,325 and ready to store shit. 142 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,094 Hey, babe. How'd you sleep? 143 00:04:43,129 --> 00:04:44,896 Like a rock. What's he doing? 144 00:04:44,931 --> 00:04:46,965 - It's very entertaining. - Hm. 145 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,467 Voil?�. [CHUCKLES] 146 00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:52,370 - Take notes, ladies. - That is how you hang a cab... 147 00:04:52,405 --> 00:04:53,570 Aah! -Oh, my God! 148 00:04:53,605 --> 00:04:55,205 - Oh, my... - Jesus! What the... 149 00:04:55,241 --> 00:04:56,584 He didn't scream the first seven times. 150 00:04:56,608 --> 00:04:58,375 - It's still hanging. - It looks great. 151 00:04:58,410 --> 00:05:00,210 Hey, babe, why don't you just ask Gabe? 152 00:05:00,246 --> 00:05:01,845 - He's good at this stuff. - Call Gabe? 153 00:05:01,881 --> 00:05:03,213 Yeah, the real fucking man? 154 00:05:03,249 --> 00:05:05,015 The one who got my dad's toolbox? 155 00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:07,062 Things would have been different if I got the toolbox, right? 156 00:05:07,086 --> 00:05:08,385 Maybe he would have been the one 157 00:05:08,420 --> 00:05:09,898 with the bleached hair and the eyeliner. 158 00:05:09,922 --> 00:05:12,489 [CHUCKLES] 159 00:05:12,524 --> 00:05:14,024 Wait. Did that actually happen? 160 00:05:14,059 --> 00:05:17,361 - Yes. - Are there photographs? Guys, wait. 161 00:05:17,396 --> 00:05:19,107 - Wait, no. Emma. Emma. - Honey... Honey, I... I got... I got it. 162 00:05:19,131 --> 00:05:20,364 - I got it. I got it. - Thank you. 163 00:05:20,399 --> 00:05:21,576 Please sit down. You don't need to... 164 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,267 - Please, sit down. - Okay, there is 165 00:05:23,302 --> 00:05:26,435 - a razor-thin line between sweet and creepy... - Here. 166 00:05:26,470 --> 00:05:28,470 ... and you two are skating on it. 167 00:05:28,506 --> 00:05:29,510 - Emma. - Look, I'm fine. 168 00:05:29,511 --> 00:05:31,374 You don't need to mummify me in Bubble Wrap. 169 00:05:31,409 --> 00:05:33,776 Emma, the doctor said that you are "moderate to high risk." 170 00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,913 - That is a big deal. - Okay, well, so I won't base jump or fight crime. 171 00:05:36,948 --> 00:05:38,781 - Here. - Oh, my God. Shoo. 172 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:40,827 - Go already, guys, okay? - You just need a little vitamin C. 173 00:05:40,851 --> 00:05:42,985 Look, I have much to do. 174 00:05:43,021 --> 00:05:45,121 Need quiet. Please. 175 00:05:45,156 --> 00:05:46,889 - Like what? - Yeah. Like what? 176 00:05:46,925 --> 00:05:50,993 [SIGHS] Well, I have decided to turn all offers down... 177 00:05:51,029 --> 00:05:53,129 - "All" offers? - Did... Did we miss some? 178 00:05:53,164 --> 00:05:55,864 ... and start my own architectural-consulting firm 179 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:56,900 from home. 180 00:06:00,103 --> 00:06:02,404 Well, don't all jump up and down at once. 181 00:06:02,439 --> 00:06:04,239 Uh... now, Iz... 182 00:06:04,274 --> 00:06:06,319 Honey, the doctor just said you were supposed to take it easy. 183 00:06:06,343 --> 00:06:08,910 Oh, my God, babe, this is exactly why I said it was gas. 184 00:06:08,946 --> 00:06:10,478 Okay, shoo, both of you. 185 00:06:10,513 --> 00:06:13,148 I can't just lay around incubating our offspring all day. 186 00:06:13,183 --> 00:06:14,882 I... I... I'm still me. 187 00:06:14,918 --> 00:06:16,784 I'm still Emma Goddamn Trakarsky, 188 00:06:16,820 --> 00:06:18,653 Slayer of Worlds! 189 00:06:18,688 --> 00:06:20,255 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 190 00:06:20,290 --> 00:06:22,223 Please? 191 00:06:22,259 --> 00:06:24,059 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 192 00:06:24,094 --> 00:06:25,393 Okay, just be careful. 193 00:06:25,429 --> 00:06:29,264 We love you, Emma Goddamn Trakarsky. 194 00:06:29,299 --> 00:06:31,131 [ALL CHUCKLE] 195 00:06:31,167 --> 00:06:32,833 - Mm. - Okay, get out of here. 196 00:06:34,403 --> 00:06:37,171 Go, dorks. 197 00:06:37,206 --> 00:06:39,974 Sometimes I swear it's like she can't stand 198 00:06:40,009 --> 00:06:41,475 being in the same room as me. 199 00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:44,311 - You know what I mean? - I do. I really, really do. 200 00:06:44,347 --> 00:06:45,946 [PILLS RATTLE] 201 00:06:45,982 --> 00:06:49,616 And... and... and I ask her if she wants to talk, 202 00:06:49,651 --> 00:06:52,552 and she says that my voice is like nails 203 00:06:52,588 --> 00:06:55,322 on the chalkboard of her soul. 204 00:06:55,358 --> 00:06:57,358 Are you okay? 205 00:06:57,393 --> 00:06:59,659 Mm. That's horrible. 206 00:06:59,695 --> 00:07:02,262 - Sorry. Listen, Billy... - Barry. 207 00:07:02,298 --> 00:07:04,964 Um, [CHUCKLES] I'm gonna do you a solid, okay, 208 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,499 and rip off the Band-Aid: 209 00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:09,702 Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe next month... 210 00:07:09,737 --> 00:07:11,437 I don't know... but she's gonna dump you. 211 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,939 So just salvage whatever's left of your dignity 212 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,209 - and beat her to it. - But... 213 00:07:16,244 --> 00:07:19,012 Ship's sailed, Benny. Trust me. 214 00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:21,981 - Am I your first patient? - Fourth. 215 00:07:22,017 --> 00:07:24,617 You're my fourth session of five hundred that I need 216 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,619 to get certified so I can sit in rooms like this, 217 00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:29,122 listening to people like you for the... 218 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,157 rest of my life. 219 00:07:31,192 --> 00:07:34,093 220 00:07:34,129 --> 00:07:36,162 Hi. 221 00:07:36,197 --> 00:07:37,263 Hello? 222 00:07:37,298 --> 00:07:38,597 Mm. 223 00:07:38,633 --> 00:07:43,669 224 00:07:43,704 --> 00:07:45,404 Are you... are you leaving? 225 00:07:45,439 --> 00:07:48,073 Brian, I quit. 226 00:07:48,108 --> 00:07:50,409 It's Barry. 227 00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:54,680 Wow. This outfit 228 00:07:54,715 --> 00:07:58,517 is [POPS LIPS] amazing! 229 00:07:58,553 --> 00:08:00,285 Where did you get it? 230 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,465 Okay, but, seriously, I have a question. Can I borrow it? 231 00:08:02,489 --> 00:08:05,891 So funny, but I probably make more than you do. 232 00:08:05,927 --> 00:08:07,026 That's fair. 233 00:08:07,061 --> 00:08:08,326 Perks of working for The Man. 234 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:10,662 - I guess so. - The downside is that my life 235 00:08:10,697 --> 00:08:13,731 is now a very strange, leafy nightmare 236 00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,733 - from which I can never wake. - Mm. 237 00:08:15,769 --> 00:08:17,936 Do you know that song about broken wings 238 00:08:17,971 --> 00:08:20,271 - and learning to live so free? - So 239 00:08:20,306 --> 00:08:23,107 Yes, I hear that nine times per shift. 240 00:08:23,142 --> 00:08:24,709 Nine. 241 00:08:24,744 --> 00:08:29,380 Hey, maybe they're testing interrogation techniques. 242 00:08:29,415 --> 00:08:31,849 Do you feel compelled to confess anything? 243 00:08:31,885 --> 00:08:34,619 This job and living with Grams 244 00:08:34,654 --> 00:08:36,921 makes me nostalgic for homelessness. 245 00:08:36,957 --> 00:08:38,422 - Mm! - That bad, huh? 246 00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:39,923 I'm mostly kidding. 247 00:08:39,959 --> 00:08:43,426 What about, oh... I don't know... school? 248 00:08:43,462 --> 00:08:45,662 What about it? 249 00:08:45,698 --> 00:08:47,330 - Sasha. - Hmm? 250 00:08:47,365 --> 00:08:49,277 You made a blood pact that you would get your diploma. 251 00:08:49,301 --> 00:08:50,767 [CHUCKLES] There was blood? 252 00:08:50,803 --> 00:08:53,103 - I don't remember that. - I don't mean to get heavy, 253 00:08:53,138 --> 00:08:56,406 but what you do now determines the rest of your life. 254 00:08:56,441 --> 00:08:58,208 - So... - Wow. 255 00:08:58,243 --> 00:09:00,711 - Thanks for not getting heavy. - You're welcome. 256 00:09:00,746 --> 00:09:02,891 At the time I got right, it was too late in the semester. 257 00:09:02,915 --> 00:09:05,916 Plus, I, um... 258 00:09:05,951 --> 00:09:07,517 [SIGHS] 259 00:09:07,552 --> 00:09:11,554 I called the admissions chick a soulless shit sculpture. 260 00:09:11,590 --> 00:09:13,757 She seemed less helpful after that. 261 00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:15,324 - That's shocking. - [CHUCKLES] 262 00:09:15,359 --> 00:09:17,493 Oh, what about your future? 263 00:09:17,528 --> 00:09:20,096 - Gotta wear shades, man. - Yeah? 264 00:09:20,131 --> 00:09:21,764 - Yes. - Yeah, well, 265 00:09:21,799 --> 00:09:24,066 seems like you're not really an equal partner 266 00:09:24,102 --> 00:09:25,334 in your weird little triad 267 00:09:25,369 --> 00:09:27,436 working part-time at the teen daycare. 268 00:09:27,471 --> 00:09:30,139 That's a job for bleeding hearts who don't pay bills. 269 00:09:30,174 --> 00:09:31,473 That's valid. 270 00:09:31,509 --> 00:09:32,920 What about that Hawthorne School gig? 271 00:09:32,944 --> 00:09:35,611 Uh, yeah, no, that's not happening. 272 00:09:35,647 --> 00:09:39,214 I did everything except barf in that dude's shoes, so... 273 00:09:40,351 --> 00:09:44,453 I'm thinking you've overcome worse first impressions. 274 00:09:44,488 --> 00:09:46,822 - That's nice. - Mm-hmm. 275 00:09:48,759 --> 00:09:50,959 - Oh, God. - What? 276 00:09:50,994 --> 00:09:52,794 - What is that? - What? 277 00:09:52,829 --> 00:09:54,396 That is the savior look. 278 00:09:54,431 --> 00:09:55,830 - No, no. That's not. - No. 279 00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:57,866 You misunderstood. Stop staring at me. 280 00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,868 Look. Oh, no. 281 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,471 Cleanup on "Aisle you need to go back to school." 282 00:10:02,506 --> 00:10:06,341 [FUTURE KINGS OF DENMARK'S "IT'S A NEW DAY IN YOUR WORLD" PLAYS] 283 00:10:08,212 --> 00:10:11,346 You never know how you're gonna feel 284 00:10:11,382 --> 00:10:14,383 Before you know you're blue 285 00:10:14,418 --> 00:10:16,918 - You never know when you're gonna need - [SIGHS] 286 00:10:16,953 --> 00:10:19,555 A friend to see you through 287 00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:22,956 - It's a new day in your world - MAN: [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 288 00:10:22,992 --> 00:10:25,359 Make the most of what you find out there 289 00:10:25,395 --> 00:10:28,196 - Not a blue day in your world - What do we have here? 290 00:10:28,231 --> 00:10:30,698 All the colors flying, everyone else dares 291 00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,700 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 292 00:10:32,735 --> 00:10:36,070 293 00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:38,939 Hey, I just wanted to, uh, check on you 294 00:10:38,974 --> 00:10:41,775 before I head to the magazine. 295 00:10:41,811 --> 00:10:43,444 Oh, Carm, that's really sweet, but I'm... 296 00:10:43,479 --> 00:10:46,214 Hey, you scared me. Just don't do that again, okay? 297 00:10:46,249 --> 00:10:47,481 - You sure you're okay? - Yes. 298 00:10:47,517 --> 00:10:48,916 - You're one-hundred percent? - Yeah. 299 00:10:48,951 --> 00:10:51,118 - Nothing holding you back? - I'm fine. 300 00:10:51,153 --> 00:10:53,287 - Okay! You can watch my kids. - Whoa! Hold up, hold up. 301 00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:55,489 Carm, look, you know I love you and I love the girls, 302 00:10:55,525 --> 00:10:59,426 but I'm starting a business, and as you said, verbatim, 303 00:10:59,461 --> 00:11:01,729 "Trying to watch kids and start a business 304 00:11:01,764 --> 00:11:03,697 is the saddest clown show ever." 305 00:11:03,733 --> 00:11:05,966 Ah, sweetie. 306 00:11:06,001 --> 00:11:09,402 Why... why start a business right before you have twins? 307 00:11:09,438 --> 00:11:11,905 So I don't lose my shit. 308 00:11:11,941 --> 00:11:15,275 [SIGHS] Am I gonna suck at this? 309 00:11:15,310 --> 00:11:17,277 Absolutely. [CHUCKLES] 310 00:11:17,312 --> 00:11:18,779 But then you'll get better. 311 00:11:18,814 --> 00:11:21,414 And then, one day, you'll wake up and realize 312 00:11:21,450 --> 00:11:23,650 that being an amazing mom quietly became 313 00:11:23,685 --> 00:11:25,819 a big part of who you are. 314 00:11:25,855 --> 00:11:27,320 Part of Emma. 315 00:11:31,192 --> 00:11:32,591 - Mm. - Thank you. 316 00:11:32,627 --> 00:11:35,094 [FOOTSTEPS IN DISTANCE] 317 00:11:35,130 --> 00:11:37,474 - You're looking at something over my shoulder, aren't you? - Mm. 318 00:11:37,498 --> 00:11:38,731 The new neighbors. 319 00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:42,201 Oh, yeah, that's Marty and Will. 320 00:11:42,237 --> 00:11:43,702 They moved here from Hillsboro. 321 00:11:43,738 --> 00:11:46,038 - God, their kid is cute. - What, so it's true? 322 00:11:46,074 --> 00:11:48,641 We have gays? We have gays! 323 00:11:48,676 --> 00:11:51,377 Yeah, well, maybe don't lead with that. 324 00:11:51,412 --> 00:11:53,646 325 00:11:53,681 --> 00:11:55,014 Hey! If you can run that fast, 326 00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:56,215 you can easily watch my kids. 327 00:11:56,251 --> 00:11:59,652 Hi. Hello. Hi. I'm... Whew! 328 00:11:59,687 --> 00:12:01,620 - I'm Emma Trakarsky. - Hey. 329 00:12:01,656 --> 00:12:05,157 I live next door with my husband and my wife, 330 00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:08,760 because I'm poly, which means I'm bi, so, hi. 331 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,162 It's lovely to meet you, Polly. 332 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,930 - What? Oh, no, no, no. - Wait. 333 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,643 EMMA: My name is Emma. I w... I was just telling you 334 00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,633 - I'm polyamorous. - Please excuse her. 335 00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:18,003 She's just super-duper double pregnant, 336 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,771 and it's making her peculiar. 337 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:22,874 Oh, okay, well, I'm Marty, and this is my husband, Will. 338 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,811 Hi. And who's this handsome little guy? 339 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:28,313 I love children. I'm kind of known for it. 340 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,881 Ehh, are you really? 341 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,183 Oh, this is Parker. 342 00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,285 He's four and, apparently, really shy. 343 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,188 My husband says everyone named Parker is a winner. 344 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,323 Are you a winner, Parker?! [CHUCKLES] 345 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,824 He's a winner. Don't worry. 346 00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:42,860 - Weird. I'm gonna go to work, so... - Yeah. 347 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,029 I ju... I just want to say how great it is 348 00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:47,532 to have another "alt" family in the neighborhood. 349 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:50,034 I mean, being polyamorous, I... I know the challenges, 350 00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,770 - but love is love, and family's family, right? - Yeah. 351 00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,672 Anyway, um, I'm just over there 352 00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,552 - if you need anything at all. - Is that a threat? 353 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,309 Well, that's enough relating for today. 354 00:12:58,345 --> 00:12:59,444 Come along. Bye, guys. 355 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,346 - Bye. [CHUCKLES] - Bye. 356 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,826 - What the hell was that all about? - We'll call you. I don't know. 357 00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:05,628 We're the Gaydashians, honey. Just milk it while it lasts. 358 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:13,857 359 00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:17,427 Ohh, help me stave off the avalanche 360 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,162 of terror and hopelessness. 361 00:13:19,197 --> 00:13:21,197 Amnesia on the rocks, coming up. 362 00:13:23,535 --> 00:13:25,669 So, I'm sensing that you've got a tale to tell. 363 00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:26,936 Mm-hmm. 364 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,406 Well, I walked in, I quit, 365 00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:31,441 I walked out, the end. 366 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,844 [CHUCKLES] 367 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:36,212 Oh. Yikes. Okay. 368 00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:37,647 Well... 369 00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:40,617 ... this should do the trick. 370 00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:41,918 Good. 371 00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:46,757 [COUGHING] 372 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:49,725 Ooh! [LAUGHS] That is a day changer. 373 00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:51,895 Yeah, don't ask what's in it.-- Oh, man. 374 00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:53,930 I spent eight of my Best Ass Years 375 00:13:53,965 --> 00:13:55,464 slaving away to get my doctorate, 376 00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,666 and all I learned is that I loathe listening to people 377 00:13:57,702 --> 00:14:00,436 - whine about their problems. - Oh. 378 00:14:00,471 --> 00:14:02,671 Well, that's, um... 379 00:14:02,707 --> 00:14:05,408 That's certainly a... a, um... 380 00:14:05,443 --> 00:14:06,943 What do you think that is? 381 00:14:06,978 --> 00:14:08,856 You know, instead of listening to a bunch of Cray-Crays 382 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,180 go on and on, trying to figure it out themselves, 383 00:14:11,216 --> 00:14:14,450 why can't I just cut to the chase and tell 'em what to do, 384 00:14:14,485 --> 00:14:17,153 and if they don't do it, they get shocked? 385 00:14:17,188 --> 00:14:18,621 - Yeah. - Yeah. 386 00:14:18,656 --> 00:14:20,589 [SCOFFS] I'm so fucked. 387 00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:25,094 Uh... 388 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:27,463 you like telling people what to do. 389 00:14:27,498 --> 00:14:29,131 Mm-hmm, yeah. 390 00:14:29,166 --> 00:14:33,302 Why not do that right here? 391 00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:35,904 You dole out the advice, I dole out the drinks. 392 00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:37,472 It's the perfect hook for this place. 393 00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:39,174 And... and... and we can get you a sign 394 00:14:39,209 --> 00:14:42,110 that says "the doctor's in", like Lucy van Pelt. 395 00:14:42,146 --> 00:14:44,813 Well, she is by far my favorite Peanut. 396 00:14:44,848 --> 00:14:47,615 See? It's... It's... It's destiny. 397 00:14:47,651 --> 00:14:50,052 You'd really do that for me? 398 00:14:50,087 --> 00:14:51,553 Babe, it's win/win. Yeah. 399 00:14:51,588 --> 00:14:53,322 Mm. 400 00:14:53,357 --> 00:14:55,357 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 401 00:14:55,392 --> 00:14:59,494 You see, I got a mind to take your innocence 402 00:14:59,529 --> 00:15:01,830 - right here on this bar. - Aww. 403 00:15:01,865 --> 00:15:03,897 Well, there's no one I'd rather have deflower me, 404 00:15:03,933 --> 00:15:06,267 but I thought we were waiting for the right time. 405 00:15:06,302 --> 00:15:08,436 406 00:15:08,471 --> 00:15:09,711 Oh, the right time's right now? 407 00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:11,905 - The right time is now?! - Yeah. 408 00:15:11,941 --> 00:15:13,174 Oh! 409 00:15:13,209 --> 00:15:15,909 Okay, what the hell just happened? 410 00:15:15,945 --> 00:15:17,511 I call it "sex." 411 00:15:17,546 --> 00:15:19,646 Mnh-mnh. No, no, no, no. 412 00:15:19,682 --> 00:15:22,716 No, three little letters cannot house that experience. 413 00:15:22,751 --> 00:15:23,851 What the fuck are you... 414 00:15:23,886 --> 00:15:25,719 some kind of undercover fuck ninja? 415 00:15:25,754 --> 00:15:27,121 I lost count. 416 00:15:27,156 --> 00:15:28,389 I never lose count, 417 00:15:28,424 --> 00:15:30,057 in case I need to complain later. 418 00:15:30,093 --> 00:15:31,792 Sure. It was four. 419 00:15:31,827 --> 00:15:33,361 I'm sorry. 420 00:15:33,396 --> 00:15:37,897 I must have been overexcited 'cause fi... five is my par. 421 00:15:37,932 --> 00:15:40,800 God, I don't what is yet, but something about this is bad. 422 00:15:40,835 --> 00:15:43,003 It's very, very bad. 423 00:15:43,038 --> 00:15:46,006 Well, j... just give me a second. I can... I can go for five. 424 00:15:46,041 --> 00:15:47,707 Give me... give me a minute. 425 00:15:47,742 --> 00:15:49,709 [MEN CRYING] 426 00:15:49,744 --> 00:15:55,248 427 00:15:55,283 --> 00:15:57,384 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 428 00:15:57,419 --> 00:16:04,524 429 00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:07,793 - [BONE CRACK] - Aah! Aah! Oh! 430 00:16:07,829 --> 00:16:10,062 Ah, shit! 431 00:16:10,097 --> 00:16:11,931 - Ohh! - You're getting it, man. 432 00:16:14,402 --> 00:16:15,635 Yes. 433 00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:18,504 434 00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:20,640 Okay. 435 00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:23,976 So, um, what did you release in Grief Yoga? 436 00:16:24,012 --> 00:16:26,412 No, I'm pretty sure that wasn't me. 437 00:16:26,447 --> 00:16:29,381 It was that skinny vegan guy in the burlap clothes. 438 00:16:29,417 --> 00:16:32,117 439 00:16:32,153 --> 00:16:34,020 Oh, fuck! 440 00:16:34,055 --> 00:16:37,557 What the fuck? Is that what I think it is? 441 00:16:37,592 --> 00:16:40,927 Yeah, or, uh, maca root tea and organic vinegar? 442 00:16:40,962 --> 00:16:44,295 It's animal urine, is what what it is. 443 00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:47,032 [SNIFFS] It's, like, feline 444 00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:50,535 based on the bottom notes of fish and rat. 445 00:16:50,571 --> 00:16:51,881 It's an amazing cleanse, you know, 446 00:16:51,905 --> 00:16:54,205 and it... and it evens out 447 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,953 - your, uh, testosterone production, and... - Okay, you know what? Stop. Just stop. 448 00:16:56,977 --> 00:16:59,377 What has to happen to a guy 449 00:16:59,412 --> 00:17:03,081 to make him want to pay to drink cat piss? 450 00:17:03,116 --> 00:17:05,050 Um, she cheated on me. 451 00:17:05,085 --> 00:17:06,851 - Yeah, that... - With my brother. 452 00:17:06,887 --> 00:17:08,252 Ooh. 453 00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:10,622 Over Thanksgiving at my parents' house. 454 00:17:10,657 --> 00:17:12,523 Wow. That happens in real life? 455 00:17:12,559 --> 00:17:13,959 Yeah. 456 00:17:13,994 --> 00:17:17,228 I found her in my childhood bedroom 457 00:17:17,263 --> 00:17:20,231 giving thanks to my brother's penis. 458 00:17:20,266 --> 00:17:22,066 [SNICKERS] 459 00:17:22,102 --> 00:17:24,569 I'm s... [CLEARS THROAT] 460 00:17:24,604 --> 00:17:26,704 That is... That is awful. I'm s... That is... 461 00:17:26,739 --> 00:17:27,905 Then it got ugly. 462 00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:29,373 - Then it got ugly? - Yeah. 463 00:17:29,409 --> 00:17:30,719 I can't wait to hear what's worse. 464 00:17:30,743 --> 00:17:33,377 Yeah, I, uh... I forgave her, 465 00:17:33,413 --> 00:17:34,712 you know, begged her to stay, 466 00:17:34,747 --> 00:17:36,280 and... and... and, like, 467 00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,483 you know, not like, "Please stay." 468 00:17:38,518 --> 00:17:41,018 It... it was... it was... I beg-begged. 469 00:17:41,053 --> 00:17:42,420 - Ooh. - Really begged. 470 00:17:42,455 --> 00:17:43,988 Like, there were... there were tears. 471 00:17:44,023 --> 00:17:46,424 - On... oOn... on her shoes. - Mm. 472 00:17:46,459 --> 00:17:47,836 - Yeah, so... - You're right. It did get worse. 473 00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:49,093 Yeah. 474 00:17:49,129 --> 00:17:51,762 So now, you know, 475 00:17:51,797 --> 00:17:55,999 my... my ex-wife is... is... is my sister-in-law. 476 00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:59,736 And I'm just trying to purify myself, you know, 477 00:17:59,771 --> 00:18:02,639 maybe become perfect so that... so that someday 478 00:18:02,674 --> 00:18:06,376 someone might love me or something. 479 00:18:06,411 --> 00:18:07,944 Dude. Geez. 480 00:18:07,979 --> 00:18:11,181 Nathan, I wish I could say something, you know, better, 481 00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:14,017 m... more inspirational, but I'm really sorry, man. 482 00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,685 - That's awful. - Yeah. 483 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,421 Thank you. 484 00:18:18,457 --> 00:18:21,758 Ooh, you're going right in for the cat piss again, huh? 485 00:18:21,793 --> 00:18:23,826 486 00:18:23,862 --> 00:18:26,162 [SIGHING] Ugh. 487 00:18:26,197 --> 00:18:27,463 - [GROANS] - MARTY: Welcome. Hey. 488 00:18:27,498 --> 00:18:28,831 Thank you for coming by. 489 00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:30,366 No, no, no, no. It's okay, it's okay. 490 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:32,201 No, yeah. There's a bottle open on the table. 491 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,936 Yeah, just go on in. 492 00:18:33,972 --> 00:18:35,638 - [CHILDREN LAUGHING] - Hey! Look at you. 493 00:18:35,674 --> 00:18:38,207 - [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY] - Okay, sure. That's awesome. 494 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,109 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] 495 00:18:40,145 --> 00:18:41,710 Doing real good. Hey, bud. 496 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:43,011 Give me a high five? 497 00:18:43,047 --> 00:18:44,647 Oh, my God! Thank you! 498 00:18:44,682 --> 00:18:47,849 [CELLPHONE CLICKS, DIALING] 499 00:18:47,885 --> 00:18:49,918 [CELLPHONE RINGING, VIBRATING] 500 00:18:51,355 --> 00:18:53,088 Oh, about time. 501 00:18:53,123 --> 00:18:55,269 Are you coming to get them, or should I bring them to you? 502 00:18:55,293 --> 00:18:57,337 Question: What's going on at Will and Marty's house? 503 00:18:57,361 --> 00:18:59,361 It looks like they're having a big party 504 00:18:59,397 --> 00:19:01,175 with all the neighborhood housewives and kids. 505 00:19:01,199 --> 00:19:03,265 - CARMEN: Oh, that's Binge Club. - Binge Club? 506 00:19:03,301 --> 00:19:05,634 Yeah, it's something they did back in Hillsboro. 507 00:19:05,670 --> 00:19:07,869 All the stay-at-home parents meet up at Marty's 508 00:19:07,905 --> 00:19:09,371 and take turns watching the kids, 509 00:19:09,407 --> 00:19:11,351 and then when you're not on duty, you get adult time 510 00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:13,474 bingeing the latest and greatest TV shows. 511 00:19:13,510 --> 00:19:15,822 - Well, why wasn't I invited? - Well, there's no president, Em. 512 00:19:15,846 --> 00:19:18,313 - Nothing whatsoever to conquer. - What's that supposed to mean? 513 00:19:18,348 --> 00:19:20,348 Well, plus, you'd hate the show they're watching. 514 00:19:20,383 --> 00:19:22,050 It's "Who We Are." 515 00:19:22,086 --> 00:19:25,253 Ugh, that sappy soap that teaches us "what really matters" 516 00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:27,823 by metaphorically drowning kittens till we cry? 517 00:19:27,858 --> 00:19:29,891 Yep, that's... that's the one. 518 00:19:29,927 --> 00:19:31,838 Oh, how could anyone watch that manipulative shit? 519 00:19:31,862 --> 00:19:33,940 Don't they have anything better to do with their time? 520 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,563 Speaking of, one of us has a job. 521 00:19:35,599 --> 00:19:36,932 You are horrible. 522 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:38,366 Ah, love you, too. Bye. 523 00:19:38,401 --> 00:19:40,135 [CELLPHONE BEEPS] 524 00:19:45,275 --> 00:19:47,208 [THEME SONG PLAYS] 525 00:19:47,243 --> 00:19:49,409 [MAN VOCALIZING] 526 00:19:51,981 --> 00:19:53,781 Ugh. 527 00:19:53,816 --> 00:19:55,415 [KEYBOARD CLACKS, MUSIC STOPS] 528 00:19:55,451 --> 00:19:58,619 Four bars in, and I've already lost 20 I.Q. points. 529 00:19:58,654 --> 00:20:00,788 MARTY: Who's ready? 530 00:20:00,823 --> 00:20:03,290 Binge Club in the house! 531 00:20:03,325 --> 00:20:05,793 [LAUGHTER] 532 00:20:05,828 --> 00:20:07,427 What? 533 00:20:07,463 --> 00:20:09,930 534 00:20:09,966 --> 00:20:11,632 [LAUGHS] 535 00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:13,467 536 00:20:13,502 --> 00:20:15,102 [GRUNTS] 537 00:20:15,138 --> 00:20:16,670 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] 538 00:20:16,705 --> 00:20:18,572 [CRYING] Hormones. 539 00:20:18,607 --> 00:20:21,108 It's gotta be the hormones. 540 00:20:21,144 --> 00:20:24,210 Nooo! He can't be dead! 541 00:20:24,246 --> 00:20:26,513 [SNIFFLES] I mean, he literally can't be dead 542 00:20:26,548 --> 00:20:28,214 because he's, like, all over the preview 543 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,184 for the next episode, but... still. 544 00:20:31,219 --> 00:20:33,720 Oh, like that? 545 00:20:33,756 --> 00:20:36,657 [MUFFLED] Always like that. 546 00:20:36,692 --> 00:20:39,459 Oh. 547 00:20:39,495 --> 00:20:41,995 Okay, here's what I'm thinking. 548 00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:44,063 Fresh start. I'm Izzy Silva. 549 00:20:44,099 --> 00:20:46,400 It's... it's nice to see you again. 550 00:20:48,404 --> 00:20:49,636 Okay, that sounds good. 551 00:20:49,672 --> 00:20:52,005 No, I'm Dr. Izzy Silva. 552 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,840 Nice to meet you again. 553 00:20:53,875 --> 00:20:55,542 Do you like that? 554 00:20:55,577 --> 00:20:58,678 - [DOG WHINES] - Is that... Oh. Hello. 555 00:20:58,713 --> 00:21:00,145 - Izzy. - Hi. 556 00:21:00,181 --> 00:21:02,147 What are you doing here? 557 00:21:02,183 --> 00:21:05,217 [BREATHES DEEPLY] Fresh start. 558 00:21:05,252 --> 00:21:06,952 I'm Izzy Silva. Uh, wait. 559 00:21:06,987 --> 00:21:09,622 I'm... I'm Dr. Izzy Silva. 560 00:21:09,657 --> 00:21:12,692 Yeah, the girl with the vape 561 00:21:12,727 --> 00:21:15,060 and the booze and the insults 562 00:21:15,095 --> 00:21:16,895 and the holier-than-thou attitude. 563 00:21:16,931 --> 00:21:18,163 That was playtime Izzy. 564 00:21:18,199 --> 00:21:21,367 This is very serious Izzy. 565 00:21:21,402 --> 00:21:23,001 I want the job. 566 00:21:23,037 --> 00:21:25,904 Helping entitled rich kids with their faux damage? 567 00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:27,306 I'm good at what I do. 568 00:21:27,342 --> 00:21:28,541 See this stack over here? 569 00:21:28,576 --> 00:21:30,508 I added mine. Mine's on top. 570 00:21:30,544 --> 00:21:32,945 Okay, well, they're all good at what they do, 571 00:21:32,980 --> 00:21:35,848 - and they're more qualified. - Qualified. I've heard. 572 00:21:35,883 --> 00:21:37,883 You're not gonna make this easy, are you? 573 00:21:37,918 --> 00:21:39,885 Why would I? 574 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,054 Okay. Well... 575 00:21:44,591 --> 00:21:49,194 A kid asked me to sign this on the way in, 576 00:21:49,230 --> 00:21:51,897 which means they thought I might be a student, 577 00:21:51,932 --> 00:21:53,772 and now I'm very, very much in love with them. 578 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,968 - "Them"? - Yeah, stay tuned. 579 00:21:56,003 --> 00:21:59,338 So, turns out that the non-binary student collective 580 00:21:59,373 --> 00:22:01,973 is gearing up to protest unless you start providing 581 00:22:02,008 --> 00:22:04,008 gender-neutral bathroom alternatives. 582 00:22:04,043 --> 00:22:05,377 [BREATHES SHARPLY] Rough. 583 00:22:05,412 --> 00:22:08,380 Wait. What? We settled this last year. 584 00:22:08,415 --> 00:22:11,282 Trans kids are welcome to use any bathroom they wish. 585 00:22:11,317 --> 00:22:12,417 Dude. 586 00:22:12,452 --> 00:22:13,785 What? 587 00:22:13,820 --> 00:22:16,287 Non-binary is not the same as trans. 588 00:22:16,322 --> 00:22:19,056 I knew that. 589 00:22:19,092 --> 00:22:20,958 Did you? 590 00:22:20,994 --> 00:22:23,127 - I didn't know that. - No. 591 00:22:23,162 --> 00:22:25,764 Look, you tell anyone, and I will deny it. 592 00:22:25,799 --> 00:22:27,932 I won't. Look, I just... I fell behind 593 00:22:27,967 --> 00:22:31,269 on... on all the initials and the acronyms and... 594 00:22:31,304 --> 00:22:32,904 Well, it sounds like, to me, 595 00:22:32,939 --> 00:22:36,307 that you need an LGBTQIA-plus specialist, 596 00:22:36,342 --> 00:22:38,142 and I just happen to be pansexual, 597 00:22:38,177 --> 00:22:39,476 or so they tell me. 598 00:22:39,512 --> 00:22:42,980 So I'm very well-versed. 599 00:22:43,016 --> 00:22:44,515 Fine. 600 00:22:44,550 --> 00:22:46,083 - Really? - Wait. 601 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,119 But it is probational for one month, 602 00:22:48,154 --> 00:22:49,420 and then we evaluate. 603 00:22:49,455 --> 00:22:51,488 Amazing. Thank you so much. 604 00:22:51,524 --> 00:22:53,024 Oh, I have one condition. 605 00:22:53,059 --> 00:22:54,491 I hope it's psoriasis 606 00:22:54,527 --> 00:22:56,593 because you literally have no leverage. 607 00:22:56,629 --> 00:22:58,629 Um, I just need you to admit one student. 608 00:22:58,664 --> 00:23:00,042 Her name is Sasha, and she was homeless 609 00:23:00,066 --> 00:23:01,399 up until two months ago, 610 00:23:01,434 --> 00:23:03,045 but she couldn't go to the public school. 611 00:23:03,069 --> 00:23:04,936 Um, she's amazing. 612 00:23:08,341 --> 00:23:11,175 Okay, I'll, uh... I'll tell you what. 613 00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:12,521 I'll try to put in for a recommendation. 614 00:23:12,545 --> 00:23:14,177 Oh, she'll start right away. 615 00:23:14,212 --> 00:23:15,412 Thank you. 616 00:23:15,448 --> 00:23:16,480 [CHUCKLING] Yeah. 617 00:23:16,515 --> 00:23:17,748 I appreciate it. 618 00:23:17,783 --> 00:23:19,015 All right, see ya. 619 00:23:19,051 --> 00:23:20,984 See ya. 620 00:23:21,019 --> 00:23:27,090 621 00:23:27,125 --> 00:23:33,163 622 00:23:33,198 --> 00:23:34,498 [LID CLANKS] 623 00:23:34,533 --> 00:23:36,600 624 00:23:36,635 --> 00:23:39,369 Polly? [CHUCKLES] 625 00:23:40,906 --> 00:23:44,374 Why are you giving me your mail? 626 00:23:44,409 --> 00:23:46,376 Why didn't you invite me? 627 00:23:46,411 --> 00:23:48,078 Wh... Oh! Oh, I get it. 628 00:23:48,113 --> 00:23:49,557 You think it's because you're tightly wound 629 00:23:49,581 --> 00:23:50,746 and a little bit scary. 630 00:23:50,782 --> 00:23:54,050 No, that's... that's not what I think. 631 00:23:54,086 --> 00:23:55,885 Is that what you think? 632 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,288 Yeah, a little, but, actually, the main reason 633 00:23:58,323 --> 00:24:00,023 is because you don't have any children. 634 00:24:00,058 --> 00:24:01,491 - Well... - Like, out-vitro children. 635 00:24:01,526 --> 00:24:03,126 - Yeah, but... - Do you? 636 00:24:03,161 --> 00:24:05,628 Have any kids that aren't inside your belly? 637 00:24:07,832 --> 00:24:09,432 Yeah. 638 00:24:09,468 --> 00:24:11,001 Okay, bye. 639 00:24:11,036 --> 00:24:12,635 640 00:24:12,670 --> 00:24:15,605 [SIGHS] 641 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,240 Fuck. 642 00:24:17,275 --> 00:24:19,742 NINA: What are you actually doing down there? 643 00:24:19,777 --> 00:24:21,577 Well, I call it "work." 644 00:24:21,613 --> 00:24:23,090 What are you actually doing up there? 645 00:24:23,114 --> 00:24:25,748 Eh, not so much. Just pondering. 646 00:24:25,783 --> 00:24:28,183 I'm gonna spend the rest of my life paying student loans 647 00:24:28,219 --> 00:24:30,085 for a career that spanned three days. 648 00:24:30,121 --> 00:24:32,354 Fascinating, right? 649 00:24:32,390 --> 00:24:33,923 Well, I'm not a therapist, 650 00:24:33,958 --> 00:24:36,726 but I did make it through all twelve steps, 651 00:24:36,761 --> 00:24:40,763 which makes me insufferably wise. 652 00:24:40,798 --> 00:24:43,833 - May I? - Knock yourself out. 653 00:24:43,868 --> 00:24:46,402 This, uh... this career that you just quit, 654 00:24:46,437 --> 00:24:49,005 it's kind of like a pie-eating contest. 655 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,807 It's really not. At all. 656 00:24:51,843 --> 00:24:54,943 - But good effort, Izzy's dad. - Yeah. 657 00:24:54,978 --> 00:24:57,212 You just spent the past eight years 658 00:24:57,248 --> 00:24:59,548 eating as much pie as you possibly could, 659 00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:01,050 shoveling it down, 660 00:25:01,085 --> 00:25:03,152 spending all of your money buying more pies, 661 00:25:03,187 --> 00:25:05,854 going into pie debt, but you just kept on going 662 00:25:05,889 --> 00:25:07,856 because you didn't know what else to do. 663 00:25:07,891 --> 00:25:13,695 And, finally, one day, you eat the last pie. 664 00:25:13,730 --> 00:25:15,197 Yay! 665 00:25:15,232 --> 00:25:17,399 You won the pie-eating contest! It's great. 666 00:25:17,435 --> 00:25:20,001 And then they wheel in your prize 667 00:25:20,037 --> 00:25:22,371 on one of those big dollies. 668 00:25:22,406 --> 00:25:24,306 Can you guess what it is? 669 00:25:24,341 --> 00:25:27,443 I agreed to a story, Ben, not a riddle. 670 00:25:27,478 --> 00:25:28,909 More pie. 671 00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:31,412 A shit ton of fucking pie. 672 00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:34,248 That's what you got for winning the pie-eating contest. 673 00:25:34,284 --> 00:25:36,050 - I hate pie. - Yeah. 674 00:25:36,086 --> 00:25:38,286 I... I think maybe I always hated pie. 675 00:25:38,321 --> 00:25:39,387 Yeah. 676 00:25:39,422 --> 00:25:41,489 So why keep eating it? 677 00:25:41,524 --> 00:25:44,125 Well, I... 678 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,462 Fear? Obligation? 679 00:25:47,497 --> 00:25:48,829 Other people? 680 00:25:50,967 --> 00:25:53,401 Other people. 681 00:25:53,436 --> 00:25:55,269 I hate them as much as I hate pie. 682 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:56,937 There you go. 683 00:25:56,973 --> 00:25:58,606 I wasted eight years. 684 00:25:58,641 --> 00:26:00,241 I doubt that. 685 00:26:00,276 --> 00:26:04,277 686 00:26:04,313 --> 00:26:07,380 Hmm. I wondered what Izzy saw in you. 687 00:26:07,416 --> 00:26:13,286 688 00:26:13,322 --> 00:26:15,822 Okay, it's almost pizza time! 689 00:26:15,857 --> 00:26:18,658 [CHILD LAUGHING] 690 00:26:18,693 --> 00:26:20,893 [CELLPHONE RINGING, VIBRATING] 691 00:26:20,929 --> 00:26:24,264 692 00:26:24,299 --> 00:26:26,065 Oh, God damn it, woman. 693 00:26:26,101 --> 00:26:27,934 Quit being such a needy, selfish little... 694 00:26:27,969 --> 00:26:29,314 - Give me you kids. Now! - Jesus Christ. 695 00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:31,171 - Come on. Go get them. - Okay, just... 696 00:26:31,206 --> 00:26:33,106 And any other ones you find scurrying about. 697 00:26:33,142 --> 00:26:35,542 Go! Go, go, go. 698 00:26:35,577 --> 00:26:37,644 WOMAN: Be free! 699 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:39,311 Yeah, yeah 700 00:26:39,347 --> 00:26:42,115 When we get together, everything is better 701 00:26:42,150 --> 00:26:45,351 Yeah, yeah, yeah 702 00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:48,621 When we get together, everything is better 703 00:26:48,657 --> 00:26:51,057 Be free! 704 00:26:51,092 --> 00:26:52,792 Yeah, yeah 705 00:26:52,827 --> 00:26:55,995 When we get together, everything is better 706 00:26:55,996 --> 00:27:00,996 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 707 00:27:01,046 --> 00:27:05,596 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 51395

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