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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,973 He's waking up. 2 00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,591 Can you hear me, Mr. Hanks? 3 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:30,508 What's going on? 4 00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:31,814 Try to relax. 5 00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:34,991 Do you know your name? 6 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,993 Raff Hanks. 7 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,255 Great. 8 00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,257 Do you know who the president is? 9 00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,392 Four more years! 10 00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:48,091 Four more years! Four more years! 11 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,962 Four more years! 12 00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:53,662 Four more years! Four more years! 13 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:57,274 Four more years! Four more years! 14 00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,450 Four more years! 15 00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,104 Well, you did it. 16 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,801 Wedid it. 17 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,281 Four more years! 18 00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:05,630 Stevens did it. 19 00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:06,979 All right. 20 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:11,375 But with our help. Our numbers, our data. 21 00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:13,421 We gave him this election. 22 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:14,857 Can you not jinx things? 23 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,859 I mean, no one's even counted any votes yet. 24 00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:19,296 Oh, God. 25 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,037 I almost forgot. 26 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,692 Guess what came in the mail today. 27 00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,172 Hmm. 28 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:28,349 Subtle. They never thought Stevens would get reelected. 29 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,133 Especially not with me running his campaign. 30 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,221 They were wrong. 31 00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,267 Again, can you just not jinx things? 32 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,096 Come on, you've seen the polls. You see the crowds? 33 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:39,316 We took the most unpopular president in American history, 34 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,231 and we turned it around. 35 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:44,278 I want Justin Timberlake to play me in the HBO movie. 36 00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,149 You really think they're going to turn this into a movie? 37 00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,585 Of course they are. 38 00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:50,327 It's only the greatest comeback in American history. 39 00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:53,156 Well, now you've really jinxed things, so... 40 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,159 Raff, Maura, the results are coming in. 41 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,421 The president wants to see you. 42 00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,728 Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! 43 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:03,775 Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! Stevens! 44 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:07,083 It all started out so well. 45 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,563 Do you know why you're here, Raff... 46 00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,608 who did this to you? 47 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:13,481 Do you know where you are? 48 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,352 Who are you? 49 00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:19,791 I'm here by order of the president of the United States. 50 00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,620 Then I'm fucked. 51 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,845 Hey. 52 00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,853 Thanks. Thank you. 53 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,119 What the fuck, Raff?! 54 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,773 Mr. President? 55 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:47,689 They're saying I just lost New York, 56 00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:50,126 lost New Jersey. 57 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,172 I'm from fuckin' New Jersey. 58 00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,826 I'm Mr. Fuckin' New Jersey! 59 00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,872 We're losing the whole goddamn country! 60 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,059 No, my data says... 61 00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,754 Oh, your data's horseshit! 62 00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,616 I listened to you. 63 00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:04,140 I listened to you. Your numbers and your polls 64 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,838 and your fancy data and your high-tech baloney. 65 00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:10,494 And guess what. I lost. 66 00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:13,193 I am a one-term joke. 67 00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,239 I'm a diaper filled with baby shit, 68 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:20,069 and it is all your fault! 69 00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:21,853 Fuck! 70 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:28,947 Raff, listen, it's gonna be okay. All right? 71 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,775 You can come back from this. 72 00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,256 I mean, you're the wunderkind, right? 73 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,133 Voters are angry. 74 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,744 After two years in office, the president is facing 75 00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:45,094 increasing criticism for his handling of the economy, 76 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,488 increasing crime, the environment, and foreign policy. 77 00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,229 I mean, the world is a mess. 78 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,579 And these politicians, they're not helping anybody. 79 00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:52,971 We should just throw out the whole system, 80 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,103 start over again. 81 00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,105 Well, let me ask my distinguished panel. 82 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:58,150 What should the president do about the situation 83 00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,239 in the Middle East? 84 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,762 Thanks for asking, Sam. 85 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,068 "Well, you're one of the most admired 86 00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,374 political minds in the business." 87 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:07,638 That I am, Sam. 88 00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,640 That I am. 89 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,904 I just can't pay my rent. 90 00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:17,257 Hey, buddy. 91 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,738 You really ran Stevens' campaign? 92 00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:24,438 I did. I ran it right into the ground. 93 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,314 In lighter news... 94 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,490 Tommy, come on, hit me with another. 95 00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,753 ...look no further than 11-year-old YouTube sensation 96 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,233 Oliver Foley. 97 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:41,629 His latest video is racking up millions of hits because 98 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:44,196 Oliver's running for president. 99 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,591 Oh, hey, hi. I'm Oliver Henry Foley, 100 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:52,466 and I'm announcing my candidacy for president of the USA. 101 00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:55,904 Here's why. I want people to be nice to each other. 102 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,341 I really do. I know it sounds cheesy, 103 00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,951 but it's the truth. 104 00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:03,215 And it's a good enough reason to run for president as any. 105 00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,566 I also believe that everyone should go to school 106 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:06,958 and play video games, 107 00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,134 because it's good for your hand-eye coordination. 108 00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:12,616 I may be a kid, but I sure do get America. 109 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,924 It's the land of equality and freedom for everyone. 110 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,143 Except maybe my little sister. 111 00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:20,058 You should run that kid's campaign. 112 00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:23,279 He tells it like it is. That's crazy. 113 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,889 Eight million views crazy. 114 00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,849 Considering all the crap coming out of Washington, 115 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,111 I'd vote for that kid in a heartbeat. 116 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:32,070 Me, too. I like what he's saying. 117 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,595 He's a little cutie. 118 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:44,735 Meet Raff Hanks, a wunderkind. 119 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,998 Once the most successful campaign manager 120 00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,696 of his generation. 121 00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:52,874 Now Raff finds himself in a valley of booze and regret. 122 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:57,182 One filled with bad choices and even worse polling. 123 00:05:57,226 --> 00:06:00,838 He's about to embark on a misguided road to redemption. 124 00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,797 And on his way back to the top, 125 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,103 he'll have to take a dark detour 126 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,367 through The Twilight Zone. 127 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,416 You're traveling through another dimension, 128 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,985 a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. 129 00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:20,249 It is the middle ground between light and shadow, 130 00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,991 between science and superstition. 131 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,559 And it lies between the pit of one's fears 132 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:28,431 and the summit of one's knowledge. 133 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:31,608 You are now traveling through a dimension of imagination. 134 00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:35,482 You've just crossed over into The Twilight Zone. 135 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:44,055 Mr. Hanks, you did a great service for our country. 136 00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,970 Jesus. 137 00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:48,190 Our country? 138 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:50,888 I saw an angle, man. 139 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:53,064 I saw my shot, I took it. 140 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:32,060 Mmm. This really is delicious. 141 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,888 - Mmm. - Tuesdays is spaghetti, 142 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:34,889 and Wednesdays is hamburgers. 143 00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,499 Cheeseburgers. 144 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,022 Cheeseburgers, if you're into that. 145 00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:40,677 Can you pass the Parmesan cheese? 146 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,201 Oliver. Yeah? 147 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,899 Do you really want to be president? 148 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:48,250 Yep. I'm sick of all the war stuff 149 00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,731 and the environment stuff and the fact that 150 00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,211 everybody lies all the time 151 00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:55,257 and that we only get two weeks off at Christmas break. 152 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,388 Wait. 153 00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,042 If Oliver gets to be president, 154 00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,435 do I get to be vice president? 155 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,350 Uh, maybe, honey. Eat your salad. 156 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,832 I first started my YouTube channel 157 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,530 because my friend Charlie had one, and I wanted one, too. 158 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,793 Then I started vlogging about Minecraft, 159 00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,316 which was sort of boring because Minecraftis 160 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,928 for little kids, and I'm not little anymore. 161 00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:15,843 Then I started vlogging about Fortnite, 162 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,018 which got me a bunch of views. 163 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,673 But then I decided to run for president, 164 00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,502 and I got 12 million views. 165 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,460 And then you showed up. 166 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,462 And then I showed up. 167 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,508 What'd I just say? 168 00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:34,122 Really, Raff, why are you here? 169 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,298 I know this thing has gotten a lot of coverage, 170 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,430 but he's a kid, it's a joke. 171 00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:39,954 Not to me. 172 00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:42,391 People are really responding to what Oliver is saying. 173 00:08:42,434 --> 00:08:44,306 He's 11. It's a technicality. 174 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,916 To being president. 175 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,788 Listen, your name will be on the ballot. 176 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,006 He'll just be the one in charge. 177 00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:53,184 Oh. This is getting better and better. 178 00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,491 Listen, A-Andrew Johnson was a tailor. 179 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,406 Teddy Roosevelt was a rancher. 180 00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,060 Jimmy Carter was a peanut farmer. 181 00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,583 This country is very open 182 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,890 to leaders without political baggage. 183 00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:06,546 Raff, I googled you. I did some research. 184 00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,896 I know you've had a hard run. You battled the booze... 185 00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:13,814 Joseph, I'm off it, completely. I am a new man. 186 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:17,339 I mean, I am drinking chamomile tea, for the love of Pete. 187 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:20,777 Well, still, we see what you're trying to do here. 188 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,389 You're an opportunist. 189 00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,870 Of course I am. 190 00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:31,396 I need this. 191 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,008 This is what I do. 192 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,401 But Oliver, your son, has tapped into 193 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:39,013 something very, very real. 194 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,492 He connects with people. 195 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:43,626 Do you realize how rare that is in politics, 196 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,672 to actually connect with people? 197 00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,806 I honestly believe Oliver can be president. 198 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,112 Come on, now... 199 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:53,636 And win or lose, when all this is said and done, 200 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,856 he will have had the experience of a lifetime. 201 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,336 And he will have made enough money from endorsements 202 00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,991 and TV deals and book deals to pay for his college 203 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,907 and Lily's college, the dog's college. 204 00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,084 You'll have your face back on TV. 205 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:08,912 Exactly. 206 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:11,959 Everybody wins, nobody gets hurt. 207 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,439 This is the American dream. 208 00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,487 We're making a new video. Lily's gonna film it. 209 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,184 You want to watch? It's gonna be awesome. 210 00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,677 - Go. - Go? 211 00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,113 Yes. Now? 212 00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:38,681 Go now.Okay. Here are the ten things 213 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:42,163 I promise the American people if I'm elected president. 214 00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,774 Oh. Hi, Homer. 215 00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:47,429 This is Homer. Anyways, 216 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,084 number one: jobs. Jobs for everyone. 217 00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:54,131 Number two: long weekends, longer vacations. 218 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:57,134 Number three: less Star Warsmovies. 219 00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:59,267 Number four: better air to breathe, 220 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,922 which means more bikes and less cars. 221 00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:04,533 Number five: less war. 222 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:08,406 Number six: dogs for dog people and cats for cat people. 223 00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,973 Number seven: 224 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,410 more pancake houses throughout the land, please. 225 00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:16,850 Number eight: free video games for every American! 226 00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:20,375 Number nine: every month has to have its own holiday. 227 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:23,595 Number ten: dessert is before dinner! 228 00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:28,209 Got hot dogs waiting on the bus. Ketchup and mustard. 229 00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:29,819 The little juice boxes like you like. 230 00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,386 And baby carrots? 231 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:34,041 Of course. With ranch dressing. I'm no monster. 232 00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:36,478 We got CNN and Fox this afternoon, 233 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:37,871 Rachel Maddow tonight. 234 00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,350 She's nice. 235 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,917 Super nice. And you promised me 236 00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:42,353 the interview with the Times, remember? 237 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,964 Only if we can stop at the water park 238 00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,400 on the way back to the airport. 239 00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:47,750 You got it. 240 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,665 Hey, what about the song? 241 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,884 And the music video? 242 00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:53,147 I get a lot of views with my videos. 243 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:55,062 Recording studio booked, dancers are rehearsing. 244 00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:57,499 It's been two months now. 245 00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,284 You can do better, Raff. 246 00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:01,721 You're right. 247 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,766 I can do better. 248 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:04,941 Wow. 249 00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:06,726 The wunderkind and the wunderkind. 250 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,380 Maura McGowan. 251 00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,905 What are you doing here on the mean streets of rural Iowa? 252 00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:15,430 I saw your mug on TV, figured I'd come say hi. 253 00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,388 You want to get the band back together again, don't you? 254 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:22,829 I wrote you off after Stevens. 255 00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:24,265 I was wrong. 256 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:25,875 "I was wrong." 257 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,659 My three favorite words in the English language. 258 00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:29,879 Okay, don't push it. 259 00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,446 You know you missed me, Maura. 260 00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,665 A little bit. 261 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:40,237 Good. Come on. 262 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:43,458 So what are we going to do, though, when it all, you know, 263 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:44,851 blows up in our faces? 264 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,904 Look, Mr. Hanks, 265 00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:57,907 we're going to have to operate. Your condition is not stable. 266 00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:01,737 I'm not sure that I ever was. 267 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:05,045 A stable person would've seen what was happening. 268 00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:07,264 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 269 00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,831 ♪ Let's hit it 270 00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:11,399 ♪ We the people all across the nation ♪ 271 00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:14,750 ♪ It's about time for a celebration ♪ 272 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,927 ♪ Bright future is the new sensation ♪ 273 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:20,451 ♪ Time to break free like summer vacation ♪ 274 00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:23,803 ♪ Put your hands up if you feel that, whoa ♪ 275 00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,195 ♪ If you had enough... Hey. 276 00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:27,502 Hey. Those national ads done yet? 277 00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,330 We have that TV space on hold.Almost. 278 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,462 Oliver hasn't signed off yet completely, but he will. 279 00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,464 He will. I hope so. 280 00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:36,119 You know, his last set of notes were four pages long, 281 00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,991 all handwritten and mostly involved 282 00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,862 inserting more shots of his dog. 283 00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,865 He's smart. The kid's smart. 284 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,214 Hey! 285 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,173 ♪ Young enough to hope, oh, oh, oh... ♪I know. 286 00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,088 So good. 287 00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:50,003 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeehaw 288 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,613 ♪ Young enough to hope, oh, oh 289 00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,441 ♪ Oh, old enough to vote 290 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:54,921 ♪ We can do this. 291 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,139 That's a cut! 292 00:14:02,232 --> 00:14:04,234 Man, that kid is cute, though. 293 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,013 Fuckin' A he is. 294 00:14:05,024 --> 00:14:05,942 I'm sorry, we have 295 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,150 that doctor's appointment to get to now. 296 00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,891 No way, Mom! 297 00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:11,067 Oliver, do not argue with your mother. 298 00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:12,503 - I'm not going! - I'm not. 299 00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:13,635 You're going to the doctor. 300 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:14,723 End of discussion. 301 00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:15,898 No! Yes! 302 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:17,987 - Bullshit! - Oliver! 303 00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,163 - I hate the doctor. - It's always some old man 304 00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:21,991 with bad breath stabbing me with needles. 305 00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:23,471 The doctor is just there to make sure 306 00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:24,689 that you are good and healthy. 307 00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:25,995 I am healthy! 308 00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:27,562 I just danced for, like, five hours! 309 00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:28,780 You're going to the doctor. 310 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,478 End of discussion, young man. 311 00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:31,914 I hate you! Oliver! 312 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,829 I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! 313 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,787 I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! 314 00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:39,400 I hate you. I hate you. 315 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:43,491 I saw what I wanted to. 316 00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:44,492 ♪ Let's hit it 317 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:45,710 ♪ Self-evident 318 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,451 ♪ Oliver for president 319 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:50,672 ♪ He's the one we need to be the White House resident... ♪ 320 00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:53,283 Well, Oliver's not one of these greasy-palmed hucksters. 321 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,285 We got plenty enough of those. 322 00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:56,460 There's something inspirational 323 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,201 about starting off with someone fresh. 324 00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,638 You know, someone that believes in the things that I believe in. 325 00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:04,120 ♪ Young enough to hope, oh, oh, oh, old enough to vote... ♪ 326 00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:06,122 He wants to make this country stronger. 327 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:07,558 I mean, he wants to bring us back to basics, 328 00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,647 back to what made this, this nation great. 329 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:10,997 My grandkids love him. 330 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,129 ♪ Hey, hey, hey... ♪ 331 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,697 He's making promises just like a politician would, 332 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,178 but Oliver Foley is undeniably different. 333 00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:21,355 There's a momentum here of a kind I haven't seen before. 334 00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:22,965 It doesn't matter how old he is to me. H-He could be 335 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,880 eight years old, he could be eight months old for all I care. 336 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:25,735 He's got my vote. 337 00:15:25,746 --> 00:15:26,413 What's amazing 338 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,405 is that this kid is in the race at all, 339 00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,581 let alone now just six points down 340 00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:32,148 in the latest national polls. 341 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,977 Oliver Foley has captured the imagination 342 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,457 of the American public. 343 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,459 ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeehaw 344 00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:40,722 ♪ Young enough to hope, oh, oh, oh ♪ 345 00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,984 ♪ Old enough to vote 346 00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,378 ♪ We can do this. 347 00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,814 Oliver, 348 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:48,904 your competitors have called you "uninformed, 349 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,515 ill-informed, or not informed at all" 350 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,996 when it comes to global politics. 351 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,650 Can you respond to their complaints? 352 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,478 What do you feel we should be doing 353 00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:59,697 with our troops still in Iraq? 354 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:05,051 I-I'm glad you asked me about Iraq. 355 00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:08,228 It's-it's an... it's an intriguing question, 356 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,970 and it is well worth answering, 357 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:15,104 just not in 60-second sound-bites. 358 00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:17,454 Wait. Hold on. 359 00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,847 I don't even know what that fucking means. 360 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,023 Language. Sorry, but this is ridiculous. 361 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,894 He hasn't memorized anything I've asked him to, 362 00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:26,028 and the first primary debate is one week away. 363 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,204 I don't know why you hired me. He can't be coached. 364 00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,902 It's a goddamn shit-show. Enough! 365 00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:32,513 You're right, I don't know 366 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:33,688 why I hired you, it wasa mistake. 367 00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,342 Frankly, we don't need another 368 00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,779 canned answer that people are gonna know is baloney. 369 00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:39,824 He's gonna be embarrassed. 370 00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:41,304 It's a joke and he's a sideshow. 371 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,132 A sideshow who's only 372 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,916 six points down in Iowa 373 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,179 and whose latest music video 374 00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:48,442 has 56 million views. 375 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,705 He's got you there, Larry. Kid knows his YouTube. 376 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,363 Larry... 377 00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:59,018 ...you're fired. 378 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:06,503 Is he right, Raff? 379 00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,244 Am I gonna be embarrassed? 380 00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,901 We have had decades of politicians 381 00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,337 who claim to know everything, 382 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:17,297 and where has that taken this country, Oliver? 383 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:22,084 It's taken us straight into the crapper. 384 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,738 You're gonna be fine. 385 00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:26,045 You just do your thing, okay? 386 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,699 Thanks, Raff. 387 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,572 Oh. 388 00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,496 I mean, I guess I don't really understand taxes, 389 00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,846 if that's really your qu-question. I mean, 390 00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:47,936 taxes are good, except when they're bad. 391 00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,459 But they're mostly good, right? 392 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,505 U-Um... uh... Wow. 393 00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:55,074 Uh, except in Monopoly. Then they're bad. 394 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:58,251 And... Hey, nice work there, guys. 395 00:17:58,294 --> 00:17:59,817 Real car accident. 396 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,384 You know what, Pete? Just leave it. 397 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,169 We were worried there for a little while, but this? 398 00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:04,107 This is beautiful. 399 00:18:04,118 --> 00:18:07,390 I think there's a dogcatcher race in Florenceville Junction, Raff. 400 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,262 Maybe you could get on that campaign. 401 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,698 That's really funny. That's really funny.Okay... 402 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:13,135 Just let it go.Congratulations. 403 00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,181 We trusted you. 404 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:18,053 Listen, your boy's gonna get his sea legs soon, I know it. 405 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,924 I can feel it. He's gonna be fine. 406 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,144 His sea legs? This is a disaster. 407 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:24,059 No. Joseph... They're destroying him, Raff. 408 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,321 They're destroying my boy. 409 00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,758 No, he's gonna be f... Lily, Lily, sweetheart... 410 00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:29,195 He's gonna be... you guys. 411 00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,848 Come on. You guys... 412 00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,637 Mom? 413 00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:42,904 Mom? Mom? 414 00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,340 Mom. 415 00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,622 Try to relax. 416 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:09,104 If you're gonna do it, just do it. 417 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,760 The doctor was held up. He's on a... different level. 418 00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:14,196 He's on his way. 419 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,111 God! Mr. Hanks! 420 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,158 Put me under! Save my life or let me die, man! 421 00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:25,816 Two days before Iowa votes in the first caucus 422 00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:29,342 or primary of the season, the race is truly shaping up 423 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:32,562 after the embarrassing flameout of 11-year-old Oliver Foley 424 00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:35,565 in a disastrous campaign led by Raff Hanks, 425 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:40,266 one that will be analyzed and joked about for decades to... 426 00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,530 Thanks for taking pity on me, Tommy. 427 00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:45,096 I don't have pity on you, Raff. 428 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,055 I just don't want you crying in the bar again. 429 00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:49,231 Scares the customers. 430 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,320 Right. 431 00:19:56,717 --> 00:20:00,851 Well, so much for that chamomile tea phase, huh? 432 00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,985 Yeah, I replaced it with the "decimate your liver" phase. 433 00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:05,552 It's much more enjoyable. 434 00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,249 Tommy, would you get this fine lady 435 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:08,816 a bourbon on the rocks, please? 436 00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:09,817 Make it a double, please. 437 00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:11,645 Oh, that's my girl. 438 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,168 How you holding up? 439 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,823 Well, better than you are, apparently. 440 00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:18,521 Thanks. 441 00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:21,785 Oh, wow. 442 00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,614 So what are you doing here? 443 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,007 I got things to do. 444 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,052 I got nuts to eat. I got beer to cry into. 445 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:32,143 No, I really am here, actually, to see how you're doing. 446 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:34,450 And from the looks of things, 447 00:20:34,494 --> 00:20:37,671 it's... not a pretty picture. 448 00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:40,630 You know what the worst part is? 449 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:43,067 Hmm? 450 00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:45,592 I started this whole thing to get out of the mess I was in, 451 00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:46,941 but somewhere along the line, 452 00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:49,900 I started liking what the kid was saying. 453 00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,815 Uh-oh. 454 00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,600 Yeah. Not the whole 455 00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:55,689 "I actually believe my candidate" story. 456 00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:57,299 I do believe in him. 457 00:20:57,343 --> 00:21:00,128 All right, he didn't know shit about the tax code. 458 00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,695 But he was human. 459 00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:03,349 He was vulnerable, and that's more than I can say 460 00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:05,046 about everybody else up there. 461 00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:08,092 You know, I never should have let him go on the debate stage. 462 00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:10,312 He should've kept making his videos. 463 00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:11,835 We could've done one about world peace. 464 00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:14,360 He could've been holding a-a homemade globe, 465 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,839 and everyone would have eaten it up, and no one 466 00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:18,059 would give a shit about the debate. You know what? 467 00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:20,235 It's too late now. Right? 468 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,802 Yeah. 469 00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:24,326 Yeah, it's too late. 470 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:26,241 You know, I actually stopped by their place. 471 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,243 The Foleys. 472 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,375 You did? How they doing? 473 00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,986 Um... to be expected. 474 00:21:32,029 --> 00:21:33,770 Maybe... 475 00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:35,555 a little bit worse. 476 00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:38,732 Well, you know their dog, Homer? 477 00:21:38,775 --> 00:21:40,211 Yeah? 478 00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:42,388 He's got some kind of cancer. He's gonna die. 479 00:21:42,431 --> 00:21:45,216 No. No. 480 00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:46,870 Yeah. 481 00:21:46,914 --> 00:21:49,177 Oh, God, I fucked everything up. 482 00:21:49,220 --> 00:21:50,570 I even killed their dog. 483 00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:53,268 Oliver says hi, though. 484 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,618 He did? 485 00:21:55,662 --> 00:21:57,228 He doesn't blame you. 486 00:21:57,272 --> 00:21:59,100 He wanted me to tell you that. 487 00:21:59,143 --> 00:22:01,276 Oh, he's a good kid. 488 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,365 He also wanted me to ask you if you thought it was okay 489 00:22:03,409 --> 00:22:06,281 for him to post a vlog about his dying dog. 490 00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:08,239 Why not, I guess. 491 00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,285 I mean, that's what I said. 492 00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:13,201 It's really sad, you know? 493 00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:14,942 I mean, it's 494 00:22:14,985 --> 00:22:16,857 sweet how much he... 495 00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:19,555 cares about that poor animal. 496 00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:26,345 Oh, Jesus. 497 00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:27,520 It's perfect. 498 00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:30,566 A vlog about a dying dog. 499 00:22:30,610 --> 00:22:33,134 Oh, my God, provided it's done correctly, it's perfect. 500 00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:35,179 Raff... Are we on the ballot still? 501 00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:37,878 Please tell me we are still on the ballot. 502 00:22:37,921 --> 00:22:40,359 It was too late to get us taken off, but... 503 00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:42,926 Raff, what are you doing? 504 00:22:42,970 --> 00:22:44,885 I am getting Oliver Foley elected president 505 00:22:44,928 --> 00:22:46,234 of the United States of America. 506 00:22:46,277 --> 00:22:48,454 We're winning this goddamn election! 507 00:22:54,155 --> 00:22:55,504 That's not good. 508 00:22:58,464 --> 00:23:01,118 This is Homer. My dog. 509 00:23:01,162 --> 00:23:02,424 He's a Labradoodle. 510 00:23:02,468 --> 00:23:03,991 I've known him my whole life. 511 00:23:04,034 --> 00:23:07,429 He's the best dog in the whole wide world. 512 00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:09,475 He's also dying. 513 00:23:09,518 --> 00:23:10,824 He has cancer. 514 00:23:10,867 --> 00:23:13,783 A dog type of cancer that's sort of incurable. 515 00:23:15,481 --> 00:23:17,047 Come on. Come over. 516 00:23:17,091 --> 00:23:18,962 This is my sister Lily. 517 00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:21,835 And these are my parents. 518 00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:23,706 It's pretty clear I don't know nearly enough 519 00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:25,229 to be president alone. 520 00:23:25,273 --> 00:23:26,927 But if you elect me, 521 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:30,191 I'll surround myself with the nicest and smartest people. 522 00:23:30,234 --> 00:23:32,367 I'll work so hard to make you proud 523 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:35,762 and make sure that you can hug your sick pets longer 524 00:23:35,805 --> 00:23:39,592 and that you'll get to spend as many healthy days as possible 525 00:23:39,635 --> 00:23:41,028 with the ones you love. 526 00:23:41,071 --> 00:23:44,597 Because family... family's everything. 527 00:23:49,558 --> 00:23:51,517 ♪ Hey♪♪ Let's hit it 528 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,085 ♪ We the people all across the nation ♪ 529 00:23:55,129 --> 00:23:57,653 ♪ It's about time for a celebration ♪ 530 00:23:57,697 --> 00:24:01,222 Oliver Foley, surprising every pollster in Iowa, 531 00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:02,876 has won the first caucus. 532 00:24:02,919 --> 00:24:05,182 In a stunning come- from-behind upset, 533 00:24:05,226 --> 00:24:08,751 11-year-old Oliver Foley has won the Iowa caucus. 534 00:24:12,407 --> 00:24:13,756 I don't know why people are so surprised. 535 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,367 I mean, Oliver really connects with people. 536 00:24:16,411 --> 00:24:17,847 He was the 13th story on the news, 537 00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:20,371 and together we made him headline material. 538 00:24:20,415 --> 00:24:21,895 I mean, a-after tonight, I-I think he's poised 539 00:24:21,938 --> 00:24:23,462 to win the whole thing. I really do. 540 00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:26,421 Really? All the national polls put him very far behind. 541 00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,858 Listen, polls are meaningless when the American people 542 00:24:28,902 --> 00:24:31,426 find someone who honestly and truly speaks 543 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,210 to their core values. 544 00:24:33,254 --> 00:24:35,212 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, old enough to vote ♪ 545 00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:36,475 ♪ We can do this. 546 00:25:05,852 --> 00:25:08,507 I'm the President! Yeah! 547 00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,603 This is so cool. 548 00:25:20,257 --> 00:25:22,172 This is the president. Bomb Russia! 549 00:25:22,216 --> 00:25:23,217 I'm just kidding. 550 00:25:23,260 --> 00:25:25,219 I'm just kidding. Don't worry. 551 00:25:26,873 --> 00:25:28,831 Can't believe I get to live here now. 552 00:25:28,875 --> 00:25:30,006 Well, you're in charge now, Oliver... 553 00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:31,834 uh, Mr. President. 554 00:25:31,878 --> 00:25:33,009 You're the leader 555 00:25:33,053 --> 00:25:34,445 of the free world. 556 00:25:34,489 --> 00:25:37,274 Well... as leader of the free world, 557 00:25:37,318 --> 00:25:39,755 we need to fulfill my campaign promises. 558 00:25:39,799 --> 00:25:42,062 ASAP. Absolutely. 559 00:25:42,105 --> 00:25:46,283 First off, free video games for every American. 560 00:25:46,327 --> 00:25:48,242 Nintendo, PlayStation, 561 00:25:48,285 --> 00:25:49,809 whatever they want. 562 00:25:49,852 --> 00:25:50,853 Um... 563 00:25:50,897 --> 00:25:52,594 Oliver... 564 00:25:52,638 --> 00:25:55,554 Honey, I don't think that we can quite just do that. 565 00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:57,338 What are you talking about, Mom? 566 00:25:57,381 --> 00:25:59,122 Well, I mean that there are laws. 567 00:25:59,166 --> 00:26:00,559 Congress. 568 00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:03,474 We talked about this, remember, honey? 569 00:26:03,518 --> 00:26:05,476 But I promised everyone video games, 570 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,740 and you, Mr. Chief of Staff, 571 00:26:07,783 --> 00:26:09,611 are gonna make sure that happens. 572 00:26:09,655 --> 00:26:12,048 Well, I'm not quite sure that Congress is gonna 573 00:26:12,092 --> 00:26:14,355 go for that, Mr. President, especially 574 00:26:14,398 --> 00:26:16,313 given the way the national debt looks right now. 575 00:26:16,357 --> 00:26:18,446 And plus, companies aren't just going to willingly 576 00:26:18,489 --> 00:26:19,708 give away their games. 577 00:26:19,752 --> 00:26:21,275 Guess they'll just have to. 578 00:26:21,318 --> 00:26:22,668 Yes, but... But nothing. 579 00:26:22,711 --> 00:26:24,408 They have to. 580 00:26:24,452 --> 00:26:26,149 I made a promise. 581 00:26:26,193 --> 00:26:30,806 So, they give away 270 million games 582 00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:34,723 to every American, or we put a surcharge tax 583 00:26:34,767 --> 00:26:36,638 of a million dollars a Game Boy 584 00:26:36,682 --> 00:26:38,771 and put them out of business in a day. 585 00:26:38,814 --> 00:26:43,079 The people voted. We have to give 'em what we promised. 586 00:26:45,952 --> 00:26:49,259 Hey, Oliver.Mr. President. 587 00:26:49,303 --> 00:26:51,218 Sorry, Raff, but it sounds really cool. 588 00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:53,350 You're right. 589 00:26:53,394 --> 00:26:55,962 Mr. President, maybe we should, uh, hold off 590 00:26:56,005 --> 00:26:58,660 on the video game thing until you get settled in... 591 00:26:58,704 --> 00:27:01,707 I'm settled in, Raff, and I know what I want. 592 00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:04,187 And you guys are gonna get that done for me 593 00:27:04,231 --> 00:27:06,973 or I'll get otherpeople to get it done for me. 594 00:27:07,016 --> 00:27:09,279 There won't be a shortage of people who want to work 595 00:27:09,323 --> 00:27:12,108 for the new president of the United States. 596 00:27:14,110 --> 00:27:16,896 Now... where's the White House kitchen? 597 00:27:16,939 --> 00:27:20,247 I want a triple-scoop chocolate chip mint, 598 00:27:20,290 --> 00:27:23,250 vanilla and coffee ice cream sundae with whipped cream, 599 00:27:23,293 --> 00:27:25,687 chocolate sauce and sprinkles! 600 00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:40,006 I want to make a new vlog of me singing 601 00:27:40,049 --> 00:27:42,530 and all these dancers around me dressed like soldiers. 602 00:27:42,573 --> 00:27:45,011 Mm-hmm. I'm not sure if vlogging is the best way to communicate. 603 00:27:45,054 --> 00:27:46,273 Of course it is. 604 00:27:46,316 --> 00:27:48,536 I want to sing about world peace. 605 00:27:48,579 --> 00:27:50,059 The lyrics should be something like, 606 00:27:50,103 --> 00:27:52,192 "Either you're with peace, 607 00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:54,237 or you're not," 608 00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:56,587 and if they're not, we start to kill off all the dancers. 609 00:27:56,631 --> 00:27:57,719 Um... 610 00:27:57,763 --> 00:27:58,938 I mean, not for real, obviously. 611 00:27:58,981 --> 00:28:01,027 But in the video, all bloody and stuff. 612 00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:02,028 It'll be cool. 613 00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:07,163 Dog selection today, Mr. President. 614 00:28:07,207 --> 00:28:08,425 Finally! 615 00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:11,733 Hi. Hello! Oh, yes, you are so sweet. 616 00:28:11,777 --> 00:28:13,909 Hey, come here, come here. 617 00:28:13,953 --> 00:28:15,694 Okay, no. No. 618 00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:17,478 No. Maybe. 619 00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:19,088 No. 620 00:28:19,132 --> 00:28:20,960 Maybe. No. 621 00:28:21,003 --> 00:28:23,092 This one! This guy right here! 622 00:28:23,136 --> 00:28:24,224 No, no, no, this one. 623 00:28:24,267 --> 00:28:27,836 He's perfect. My new Homer. 624 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,142 It's a female dog, sir. 625 00:28:29,185 --> 00:28:30,665 What? Ew! 626 00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,232 What were you thinking? 627 00:28:32,275 --> 00:28:33,712 I thought, um... Thought what? 628 00:28:33,755 --> 00:28:35,017 I want a new Homer! 629 00:28:35,061 --> 00:28:37,106 Does Homer sound like a girl's name to you? 630 00:28:37,150 --> 00:28:38,847 Well, there's other dogs here, sir. 631 00:28:38,891 --> 00:28:40,631 Get rid of 'em. I don't want 'em. 632 00:28:40,675 --> 00:28:42,764 Um, sir? These dogs were selected from the pound. 633 00:28:42,808 --> 00:28:45,288 I don't really care. I don't want them. 634 00:28:45,332 --> 00:28:48,422 Okay. It is, however, time for your physical. 635 00:28:48,465 --> 00:28:50,424 Physical? No way. 636 00:28:50,467 --> 00:28:52,165 Well, I'm sorry, Mr. President, but Congress requires 637 00:28:52,208 --> 00:28:54,776 that the president get a yearly physical. 638 00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:55,864 Well, then fire Congress. 639 00:28:55,908 --> 00:28:57,953 We can't quite do that. 640 00:28:57,997 --> 00:28:59,128 Well, I'm not gonna see any doctor. 641 00:28:59,172 --> 00:29:00,608 Especially an old man doctor. 642 00:29:00,651 --> 00:29:02,175 Okay, but it's scheduled for today, so... 643 00:29:02,218 --> 00:29:03,785 Well, then un-schedule it. 644 00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:05,961 And never rescheduleit. 645 00:29:06,005 --> 00:29:09,269 That's the only real schedule I can get behind. 646 00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:12,011 And make a new law: no old doctors. 647 00:29:12,054 --> 00:29:13,316 Everyone okay with that? 648 00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:18,582 I said, is everyone okay with that? 649 00:29:18,626 --> 00:29:20,671 Yes, Mr. President. 650 00:29:20,715 --> 00:29:21,760 Yes, Mr. President. 651 00:29:24,197 --> 00:29:25,720 Think fast! 652 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,157 He got me. You lose, you lose. 653 00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:30,769 He got me. Think fast! 654 00:29:32,161 --> 00:29:34,250 Mr. Chairman, Mitch. Can...? What is it, Raff? 655 00:29:34,294 --> 00:29:35,774 President wants a military parade 656 00:29:35,817 --> 00:29:37,210 for his sister's birthday next week. 657 00:29:37,253 --> 00:29:38,515 I am knee-deep in donkey shit trying to organize it. 658 00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:40,909 Right, uh, can I...? What? Can I what? 659 00:29:41,910 --> 00:29:43,825 Can I get a minute with you? 660 00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:46,349 What is it, Raff? You've been out of sorts for weeks. 661 00:29:46,393 --> 00:29:47,611 Um... 662 00:29:52,007 --> 00:29:53,269 Aren't you a little worried? 663 00:29:53,313 --> 00:29:54,618 I'm always worried. 664 00:29:54,662 --> 00:29:56,055 What's your problem? 665 00:29:56,098 --> 00:29:57,447 Get out of the way! 666 00:29:57,491 --> 00:29:59,754 Mr. President coming through! Get out of my way! 667 00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:03,149 Hey.Hey. 668 00:30:03,192 --> 00:30:04,324 Choo-choo! 669 00:30:04,367 --> 00:30:05,847 Move it! 670 00:30:05,891 --> 00:30:09,111 Hey, order pizza for everyone. 671 00:30:09,155 --> 00:30:11,897 Don't you think the president seems like a...? 672 00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:13,724 A kid.Right. 673 00:30:13,768 --> 00:30:16,249 Like a spoiled kid. Like a... 674 00:30:17,380 --> 00:30:19,295 ...like the most spoiled kid 675 00:30:19,339 --> 00:30:21,210 in the history of the world, you know? 676 00:30:21,254 --> 00:30:23,299 He's commander-in-chief, this is the greatest country 677 00:30:23,343 --> 00:30:24,648 in the world. President says "Jump," 678 00:30:24,692 --> 00:30:25,911 I say "How high?" 679 00:30:25,954 --> 00:30:27,216 I don't care that he's a kid. 680 00:30:27,260 --> 00:30:28,435 Approval rating's through the roof, 681 00:30:28,478 --> 00:30:29,653 everybody loves their video games. 682 00:30:29,697 --> 00:30:31,264 Strange time to be talking treason, 683 00:30:31,307 --> 00:30:32,569 Hanks. 684 00:30:32,613 --> 00:30:33,570 Treason? 685 00:30:33,614 --> 00:30:35,311 Treason. No, I-I'm not 686 00:30:35,355 --> 00:30:37,270 talking treason. I'm, I'm not... Sure sounds like it. 687 00:30:37,313 --> 00:30:39,228 And I don't like it and I won't have it. 688 00:30:39,272 --> 00:30:40,969 Understood? 689 00:30:41,013 --> 00:30:42,753 Understood. 690 00:30:42,797 --> 00:30:44,364 Good. 691 00:30:49,978 --> 00:30:51,066 Helen. 692 00:30:51,110 --> 00:30:53,155 Hey. Helen. 693 00:30:53,199 --> 00:30:56,071 Oliver's not the president, you are the real president. 694 00:30:56,115 --> 00:30:58,204 Don't you think it's time you intervened? 695 00:30:58,247 --> 00:31:00,467 Intervene? 696 00:31:01,511 --> 00:31:03,513 Why would I do that? 697 00:31:03,557 --> 00:31:07,256 Raff, everything you said would come true has. 698 00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:08,867 He connects with people. 699 00:31:08,910 --> 00:31:10,390 My child. 700 00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:12,000 He touches people. 701 00:31:12,044 --> 00:31:16,004 Intervening's the last thing I'm gonna do. 702 00:31:24,447 --> 00:31:26,536 I say if it's bothering you that much, 703 00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:27,798 you should just talk with him. 704 00:31:27,842 --> 00:31:29,539 Okay, it's just hard to know 705 00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:32,020 what to say to an 11-year-old who's also the president. 706 00:31:32,064 --> 00:31:33,848 Well, you've done pretty good thus far. 707 00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:35,894 Yeah. It was easier before. 708 00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:39,941 Listen, we're mercenaries, right? 709 00:31:39,985 --> 00:31:41,943 I mean, that's what we are. 710 00:31:41,987 --> 00:31:43,771 Your big mistake was staying 711 00:31:43,814 --> 00:31:45,338 with him in the White House. 712 00:31:45,381 --> 00:31:46,817 You should have followed me. 713 00:31:46,861 --> 00:31:49,777 And I moved on and business is booming. 714 00:31:49,820 --> 00:31:52,345 Didn't have to stick around and have regrets, 715 00:31:52,388 --> 00:31:55,261 see how the sausage is made. 716 00:31:55,304 --> 00:31:56,958 It's just, no one seems to be willing 717 00:31:57,002 --> 00:31:58,351 to confront him, you know? 718 00:31:58,394 --> 00:32:00,266 Even his parents seem cowed. 719 00:32:00,309 --> 00:32:02,007 Well, maybe they are cowed. 720 00:32:02,050 --> 00:32:03,965 Or maybe everyone's okay with it. 721 00:32:04,009 --> 00:32:05,619 I mean, sure, he's a little bit bratty, 722 00:32:05,662 --> 00:32:07,926 but so are a lot of kids, it's a phase. 723 00:32:07,969 --> 00:32:09,275 Like your chamomile tea phase, 724 00:32:09,318 --> 00:32:10,929 it's gonna pass. 725 00:32:10,972 --> 00:32:12,843 Raff, you of all people knew 726 00:32:12,887 --> 00:32:14,193 what you were getting into 727 00:32:14,236 --> 00:32:16,325 when you decided to run his campaign. 728 00:32:16,369 --> 00:32:18,937 Try and enjoy this moment 729 00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:21,461 instead of worrying so much. 730 00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:23,115 You're the conquering hero. 731 00:32:23,158 --> 00:32:24,812 Right? 732 00:32:24,855 --> 00:32:27,728 One of the most famous campaign managers in history. 733 00:32:27,771 --> 00:32:32,385 The man who got Oliver Foley elected president. 734 00:32:36,476 --> 00:32:37,912 Thanks. 735 00:32:41,394 --> 00:32:43,135 I tried to do the right thing... 736 00:32:43,178 --> 00:32:45,093 for once. 737 00:32:45,137 --> 00:32:48,096 Mr. Hanks. 738 00:32:48,140 --> 00:32:50,446 We're losing him. Get the crash cart in here. 739 00:33:05,592 --> 00:33:07,768 You distracted me, Raff. 740 00:33:07,811 --> 00:33:09,030 Oh, sorry. 741 00:33:09,074 --> 00:33:10,336 It's okay. 742 00:33:10,379 --> 00:33:12,077 I never get a hole-in-one. 743 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,122 And it sucks. 744 00:33:15,776 --> 00:33:16,995 Want to play? 745 00:33:17,038 --> 00:33:18,735 Could use the company. My sister has homework 746 00:33:18,779 --> 00:33:21,129 and the Secretary of Homeland Security 747 00:33:21,173 --> 00:33:23,001 sucks at golf. 748 00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:26,743 Um, sure, thank you. 749 00:33:31,618 --> 00:33:33,359 I think Nixon put in the golf thing. 750 00:33:33,402 --> 00:33:35,404 But it's so boring, putting.Mm-hmm. 751 00:33:35,448 --> 00:33:37,972 Who wants to just putt? 752 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:40,061 I want windmills and pirate ships. 753 00:33:40,105 --> 00:33:41,367 Those little pencils to keep track. 754 00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:42,890 Right. 755 00:33:49,331 --> 00:33:51,116 Can I speak candidly? I don't know. 756 00:33:51,159 --> 00:33:52,421 Can you? 757 00:33:55,598 --> 00:33:58,123 Um, I'm a little worried. 758 00:33:58,166 --> 00:34:00,690 So am I, actually. 759 00:34:00,734 --> 00:34:02,779 What do you mean? 760 00:34:06,131 --> 00:34:07,784 I mean... 761 00:34:07,828 --> 00:34:09,830 this treason thing's pretty serious. 762 00:34:12,093 --> 00:34:15,009 You like the lighting? I think it's cool. 763 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:17,011 I'm not being treasonous, Oliver. 764 00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:18,447 I'm just worried about a few things. 765 00:34:18,491 --> 00:34:20,058 There is a difference. 766 00:34:20,101 --> 00:34:22,190 Hit your ball, Raff.Oliver. 767 00:34:22,234 --> 00:34:23,539 Putt. 768 00:34:34,768 --> 00:34:37,162 Not bad. 769 00:34:37,205 --> 00:34:38,859 My turn. 770 00:34:41,905 --> 00:34:43,211 Thing is, Raff... 771 00:34:43,255 --> 00:34:45,170 you were my first real supporter. 772 00:34:45,213 --> 00:34:48,608 Hurts me that you're not fully backing me. 773 00:34:51,524 --> 00:34:53,830 Fuck! I never get it in 774 00:34:53,874 --> 00:34:55,484 on the first try! 775 00:34:55,528 --> 00:34:57,660 Oliver, I do back you. 776 00:34:57,704 --> 00:34:59,706 I just think that the... No. 777 00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:01,273 You don't get to think. 778 00:35:01,316 --> 00:35:04,363 You just back me. You back me unconditionally. 779 00:35:04,406 --> 00:35:06,713 Whatever happened to surrounding yourself with the greatest minds 780 00:35:06,756 --> 00:35:08,758 so that you could get the most informed opinions? 781 00:35:08,802 --> 00:35:10,325 That was your idea. 782 00:35:10,369 --> 00:35:12,414 Your line in that commercial about my dying dog. 783 00:35:14,329 --> 00:35:15,852 My dog's dying, Raff. 784 00:35:15,896 --> 00:35:17,289 He's dying. 785 00:35:17,332 --> 00:35:18,768 I'm such a good actor. 786 00:35:18,812 --> 00:35:21,206 I just pretended Homer was dying. 787 00:35:21,249 --> 00:35:23,469 Just to get you back on my team. 788 00:35:23,512 --> 00:35:25,645 No! 789 00:35:25,688 --> 00:35:27,168 I want a hole-in-one! 790 00:35:31,085 --> 00:35:33,479 There! Hole-in-one! I win! 791 00:35:34,654 --> 00:35:36,177 That's not the way it works. 792 00:35:36,221 --> 00:35:38,484 It isn't? 793 00:35:38,527 --> 00:35:39,833 No. 794 00:35:39,876 --> 00:35:41,661 I said it was a hole-in-one. 795 00:35:41,704 --> 00:35:43,053 And I'm president. 796 00:35:43,097 --> 00:35:45,752 Do you support me or are you treasonous? 797 00:35:54,108 --> 00:35:56,197 I'm not treasonous, Oliver. 798 00:35:56,241 --> 00:35:58,939 Mr. President. 799 00:35:58,982 --> 00:36:02,377 "I'm not treasonous, Mr. President." 800 00:36:05,424 --> 00:36:07,904 I'm not treasonous, Mr. President. 801 00:36:07,948 --> 00:36:09,602 Good. 802 00:36:09,645 --> 00:36:12,126 So, it was a hole-in-one, right? 803 00:36:15,390 --> 00:36:17,740 No. 804 00:36:17,784 --> 00:36:19,829 No, it wasn't. 805 00:36:22,310 --> 00:36:25,661 It was not a hole-in-one, Oliver. 806 00:36:32,277 --> 00:36:33,930 Gun! 807 00:36:33,974 --> 00:36:35,236 There's a gun! Shoot him. 808 00:36:41,068 --> 00:36:43,026 REPORTER What do you think about Raff Hanks? 809 00:36:43,070 --> 00:36:46,552 Oh, I think he's the worst scum of the earth. 810 00:36:46,595 --> 00:36:49,294 How dare he try and attack that sweet little boy? 811 00:36:49,337 --> 00:36:51,818 The president dodged a bullet. Literally. 812 00:36:51,861 --> 00:36:53,298 Raff Hanks got what he deserved. 813 00:36:53,341 --> 00:36:54,603 He got what he deserved. Raff Hanks got what he deserved. 814 00:36:54,647 --> 00:36:55,561 Raff Hanks... Raff Hanks... 815 00:36:55,604 --> 00:36:56,431 Raff Hanks got... got... 816 00:36:56,475 --> 00:36:57,867 ...got what he deserved. 817 00:36:57,911 --> 00:37:00,305 Glad to see you awake, Mr. Hanks. 818 00:37:00,348 --> 00:37:01,958 Was afraid we lost you there. 819 00:37:02,002 --> 00:37:04,787 What? You need an operation 820 00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:06,920 on a ruptured spleen and a punctured lung. 821 00:37:06,963 --> 00:37:10,010 The president has asked for his very own doctor to help you. 822 00:37:10,053 --> 00:37:11,968 You're not the doctor? 823 00:37:12,012 --> 00:37:14,319 The law does not permit me to be a doctor. 824 00:37:14,362 --> 00:37:16,103 The doctor will be with you shortly. 825 00:37:20,629 --> 00:37:22,544 All right. 826 00:37:22,588 --> 00:37:24,851 Let's get this done quick, mister. 827 00:37:24,894 --> 00:37:26,505 No. 828 00:37:28,811 --> 00:37:30,117 No. 829 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,859 I want to finish my video games. 830 00:37:32,902 --> 00:37:34,730 No! No! 831 00:37:40,997 --> 00:37:43,391 Society is a fragile ecosystem. 832 00:37:43,435 --> 00:37:47,177 Razzle and dazzle people with the right lies 833 00:37:47,221 --> 00:37:49,571 and eventually they'll go blind to the madness 834 00:37:49,615 --> 00:37:51,573 right in front of their faces. 835 00:37:51,617 --> 00:37:55,403 Raff Hanks made a living selling the American dream. 836 00:37:55,447 --> 00:37:59,277 But, once sold, he created a true nightmare 837 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,322 that he couldn't buy back. 838 00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:04,369 Especially not here... 839 00:38:04,412 --> 00:38:06,371 in The Twilight Zone. 840 00:38:06,414 --> 00:38:08,329 Captioning sponsored by CBS 841 00:38:08,373 --> 00:38:10,418 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 59895

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