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1
00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:04,203
I lost the caterer, all my deposits.
2
00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:06,139
Why did I have to give
my stupid student teacher
3
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,673
so many wedding responsibilities?
4
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,809
It's not your fault.
You can't blame yourself.
5
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,677
You see the best in people.
6
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:14,147
- No, it is my fault! It is!
- Ow!
7
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:17,150
- I always see the best in people.
- Hey, Quinn, what are you doing?
8
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:20,286
- It's goddamn...
- Great news! Your friends are here!
9
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:22,888
And they just said they're
willing to do whatever it takes
10
00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:25,291
to throw you a wedding
right here at Smoot.
11
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,293
- Isn't that right, guys?
- No. No.
12
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:28,762
Please. I will do anything.
13
00:00:28,763 --> 00:00:30,896
All right, fine, I want
retroactive paternity leave...
14
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:31,997
Whatever they get in Scandinavia.
15
00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:33,566
- Paternity.
- 10 days paid vacation
16
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,701
and I get to plan
the wedding... like J.Lo!
17
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,037
- Who is that?
- I want to work through the summer,
18
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,506
and I want to be one of the guys
in the suits carrying the box.
19
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:41,775
Are you talking about a funeral?
20
00:00:41,776 --> 00:00:43,576
I'm afraid this is non-negotiable.
21
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:44,910
Fine.
22
00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:46,512
All right! Everyone's in!
23
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:48,714
And they're doing it genuinely?
24
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,383
They didn't need
any bribing or anything?
25
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,785
Nope, not at all.
26
00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,987
I know if the situation was reversed,
27
00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:56,189
I'd probably need, like,
a bunch of days off.
28
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,791
You know, whatever
they get in Scandinavia.
29
00:00:57,792 --> 00:01:00,726
Loren, just come out.
30
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,928
[SNIFFLES] Okay, I'll do it
31
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,464
with the help of my good friends.
32
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,800
And I want you to know,
I'd do the same for you.
33
00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:09,803
Well, you guys heard it from
the handsome groom himself.
34
00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:11,937
It's going to be a Smoot wedding!
35
00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:13,473
Good news. I get to carry your body.
36
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,009
I don't want him carrying my body.
37
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:18,077
Well, it's non-negotiable, Loren.
38
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,345
39
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,614
Quit wasting my time
40
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,217
I ain't here for you
41
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,419
I'm just putting in work
42
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:30,579
Till my day is through
43
00:01:30,580 --> 00:01:32,158
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT
- www.addic7ed.com -
44
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:33,693
Now I know the fact that I'm engaged
45
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:36,362
to a high-end escort
might ruffle the feathers
46
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,164
of certain staid town elders,
47
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:41,434
but I like to think of myself as
a modern-day Toulouse Lautrec.
48
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,635
ABBEY: Yep.
49
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,771
Except, not a dwarf,
but still very talented.
50
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,241
Anyway, it's all very woke,
51
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,709
which is why I was trying to give Jade
52
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,777
the fairytale wedding
she's always dreamed of,
53
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,848
but now I'm stuck here
with you assholes.
54
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:55,849
So this is a pivot...
55
00:01:55,850 --> 00:01:58,584
Okay, what my client is trying to say
56
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:00,786
is that your wedding day
57
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,056
is the single most-important
day of your life.
58
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:04,323
Exactly, that's it.
That's all I'm trying to say.
59
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,726
I mean, I remember
on my wedding day thinking,
60
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:10,129
[CHUCKLES] "You know,
about time Abbey Rabinowitz
61
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,398
gets a little piece
of this so-called 'happiness.'"
62
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,599
[LAUGHS]
63
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,068
You know, of course, 14 months in,
64
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:18,938
one Big Ol' Yam's
waitress later, it's poof!
65
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,941
But that's why we need
all hands on deck.
66
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,609
- Yep.
- Rod?
67
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,946
Apps and mains for,
like, 80 to 100 people.
68
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:30,149
Rod, not "apps and mains."
Elevated farm-to-table cuisine.
69
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,285
- I don't know what that means.
- And rubber gloves, dude.
70
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,486
I'm serious.
71
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,020
Leslie, how's the wedding attire going?
72
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:38,291
I got some of my students on it
right now for extra credit.
73
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,026
Why am I doing the flowers?
I don't even like Loren.
74
00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:43,629
And you've got me buying
his prostitute a bouquet.
75
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:48,033
Jade is not Loren's sex worker,
she is Loren's fianc?e.
76
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:50,904
- She is everyone else's sex worker.
- Thank you.
77
00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:52,494
And you're talking to
Shoemaker about the music.
78
00:02:52,496 --> 00:02:53,506
Totally. Yep.
79
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,974
- So I think we're all set!
- I think we're good.
80
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:58,244
Oh, I need a job because
there's no coffin to carry.
81
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:02,916
You know, you have, uh,
the most important job of all.
82
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,117
- Best man?
- No.
83
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:05,518
- Groom?
- No.
84
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,854
Finding cans to tie on the back
of the bride and groom's car!
85
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:09,855
- Hey!
- Yes!
86
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:10,924
Yeah.
87
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:12,458
Sounds like a real mission.
88
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,928
All right? Go out there,
and knock it out of the park.
89
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:16,061
- Yes!
- Okay?
90
00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:19,064
- Let's do it! Everybody go.
- Yeah.
91
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:21,467
Yeah. That went great.
92
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:22,936
I think we're on board here.
93
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:26,806
Looks like it's all
really coming together.
94
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,742
Quinn, you don't think I'd forget
95
00:03:28,743 --> 00:03:31,744
about my best work friend, do you?
96
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,546
If it wasn't for you,
97
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,281
I would have never even met Jade,
98
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:38,818
which is why I would be honored
if you would marry us.
99
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,466
You... want me...
100
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,889
to officiate your wedding?
101
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,425
We want you to officiate our wedding.
102
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,494
Loren, it would be such an honor.
103
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,296
- Okay.
- I do!
104
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,897
- All right.
- I do!
105
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,967
106
00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:55,635
No, I'm not going to book your band
107
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:57,903
Capitalist Emulsification
to play my wedding.
108
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,905
Then I guess we have nothing
left to talk about, here.
109
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,440
I was this close to having
110
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,309
the Mountain West's premier ska band.
111
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,710
Skaffirmative Action?
112
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:06,512
I know. I couldn't believe it either.
113
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:08,581
And stupid Cory forgot
to pay the deposit,
114
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,049
and they just bailed on the gig.
115
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,185
You dodged a bullet.
First of all, ska sucks.
116
00:04:12,186 --> 00:04:14,587
Second of all, those guys
are wicked dickheads.
117
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,389
How do you know
they're wicked dickheads?
118
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,858
- Because I knew them.
- [SCOFFS] Yeah, right.
119
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:22,061
Capitalist Emulsification
and Skaffirmative Action
120
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:25,865
had the most bitter blood feud
the front range has ever seen.
121
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,468
Then it came to a head
in '99... Warped Tour.
122
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,935
There was one spot left
123
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,472
on the coveted
Mesa Boogie Rehydration Stage,
124
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,540
and they gave it
to Skaffirmative Action.
125
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,942
Shoemaker, you have to
ask Skaffirmative Action
126
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,411
- to play at my wedding.
- No way!
127
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,945
God damn it, Shoemaker.
128
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,614
I'm trying to be the white
knight for my bride, okay?
129
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,683
Jade never had anything growing up.
130
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,485
Skaffirmative Action
could save this thing.
131
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,886
Dude, I'm sorry, but...
132
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:49,288
You know, I still haven't
chosen my best man.
133
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,356
Hmm?
134
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,891
- Really?
- Yeah.
135
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:55,961
And you think something like
this could get me an offer?
136
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,497
I'm just saying swallowing your pride
137
00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:00,433
and booking the groom's favorite band,
138
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,672
that sounds like some
real best man shit to me.
139
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:05,638
Fine. Yeah, I'll do it.
140
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,440
Oh, my God. Jade is gonna lose her mind!
141
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:08,641
- Okay. All right.
- Thank you.
142
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,975
Ohh! Thank you.
143
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,416
What the hell was that?
144
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,986
145
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,256
Yes, I was arrested.
146
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:26,259
But, listen, the prostitute
that I bought
147
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:29,161
is now marrying her john, so it...
148
00:05:30,865 --> 00:05:34,200
You know, I expect that kind
of exclusionary garbage
149
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,334
from the Methodists,
150
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,537
but not from you! [RECEIVER SLAMS]
151
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:38,804
Is everything okay in here, Geoffrey?
152
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:42,007
The Universalist Life Church
revoked my ordainment!
153
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,342
I'm defrocked!
154
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,944
Well, it sounds to me like
you better get a new religion.
155
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,345
I'm gonna have to start cold calling
156
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,614
every church in town
is what I'm going to have to do.
157
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,883
Someone will vest the power in me.
158
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:56,388
Tammy, are those flowers
from a VA cemetery?
159
00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,092
No.
160
00:05:59,093 --> 00:06:02,127
Where are all the cans?
161
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,498
Must be a goat on the loose.
162
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:08,033
[CANS RATTLING]
163
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,903
A human goat.
164
00:06:09,904 --> 00:06:12,505
Hey! Where'd you get those cans?
165
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,040
166
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,442
I'm on a can hunt!
167
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:19,579
Come back! I just have questions!
168
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:22,916
It's one of many reasons
why you're like the stone jade.
169
00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:26,252
N-No! I told you Max, no fedoras.
170
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,587
Indeed, you did, my good man.
171
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,388
But this is a trilby.
172
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,924
Abbey, quit messaging
your cyber boyfriend
173
00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,125
and get your head in the game.
174
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:34,794
It's an anonymous,
online, platonic pen-pal.
175
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,396
Okay, I'm hearing a lot
of talk about Abbey
176
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:38,264
and not, "What does
my client Loren need"?
177
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,599
Jesus Christ!
178
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,601
Are you sewing the pants
directly to my leg, Max?
179
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:42,668
Sorry, my liege.
180
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,003
Chili's can suck it, all right?
181
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,071
There's a new app king in town!
182
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,073
I present to you
Mac and Cheese shooters.
183
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,074
LOREN: Oh, God, no.
184
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,744
Uh, this is macaroni in a Dixie cup.
185
00:06:50,745 --> 00:06:52,812
Unh-unh-unh. It's a shooter.
186
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:53,879
It's elevated.
187
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,416
I don't think you understand
the concept of elevation.
188
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,551
- Think lobster...
- Yes!
189
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:00,754
- Cremini mushrooms...
- Cremini mushrooms would be fantastic.
190
00:07:00,755 --> 00:07:02,555
- Cremini mushrooms?
- Yes!
191
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,957
Hey, baby.
192
00:07:03,958 --> 00:07:05,291
Oh, hey, Jade. Brought you those
graded tests you left at home.
193
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,360
- Thank you so much.
- Mwah.
194
00:07:07,361 --> 00:07:09,095
Ooh, I like the pants.
They're looking good.
195
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,163
I can totally see your bulge.
196
00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:11,364
No. Come on.
197
00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:13,166
They're no Tom Ford,
but they'll have to do...
198
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:15,034
One of many compromises.
199
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,702
Babe, I keep telling you
I don't need a big wedding.
200
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,571
- We can just elope.
- Nonsense!
201
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:19,839
You've dreamed of a fairytale wedding
202
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,106
ever since you were a little girl.
203
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,908
- I never wanted that.
- Since you were a little girl.
204
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,844
And now these people are blowing it.
205
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:25,979
- So how does that feel?
- Okay.
206
00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:27,180
Well, I got to get back to work.
207
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:28,648
Those Japanese businessmen
aren't gonna bukkake themselves.
208
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,984
I'll walk you out. I will walk you out.
209
00:07:30,985 --> 00:07:32,786
Your prince charming
could use a little air.
210
00:07:32,787 --> 00:07:35,321
Oh, there are the two
lovebirds right there!
211
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:36,990
[LAUGHS] Looking forward
to marrying you guys!
212
00:07:36,991 --> 00:07:39,325
Everything is right on track!
213
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,461
We have got a disaster on our hands.
214
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,662
What is it?
215
00:07:42,663 --> 00:07:44,930
Just my minister's license was revoked,
216
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,653
and now the entire wedding is ruined.
217
00:07:46,654 --> 00:07:47,801
What?!
218
00:07:47,802 --> 00:07:49,973
Aaaaaah!
219
00:07:49,975 --> 00:07:51,738
Fix this.
220
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:57,810
[WHIMPERS]
221
00:08:00,381 --> 00:08:04,784
Sir! Just a second!
222
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,052
223
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,219
[IMITATES TIRES SQUEALING]
224
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,723
Come back! I'm nice!
225
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,459
226
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,861
Oh, wow.
227
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,266
SuckTown!
228
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,869
I always thought
it was a myth, but it's real.
229
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,605
As real as the flood-control
pump it's named after.
230
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,407
But we prefer SuTo.
231
00:08:27,408 --> 00:08:29,542
Neighborhood's trying to re-brand.
232
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,477
Like FroYo. Totally get it.
233
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:34,280
[CHUCKLES, GASPS] Whoa.
234
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,216
Looks like I found the mother lode.
235
00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:37,417
Where did you get all those cans?
236
00:08:37,418 --> 00:08:39,019
That is a hobo secret.
237
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:40,286
Look, I have a can emergency.
238
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,178
I'll pay you for the hobo secret.
239
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:46,426
Well, I can see you're serious.
240
00:08:46,427 --> 00:08:47,627
Tell you what.
241
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,763
Take that money,
buy us a 12-pack of beer,
242
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:53,165
we'll tell you all the secrets
of getting cans.
243
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,701
Eliminate the middleman. I like it.
244
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,037
I just hope there's
a place to buy liquor
245
00:08:57,038 --> 00:08:59,039
in this bad neighborhood.
246
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:04,376
247
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,581
Whoa! Oh, my ska'd.
248
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,250
Billy Shoemaker.
How's it going, asshole?
249
00:09:10,251 --> 00:09:11,251
Hey, Scott.
250
00:09:11,252 --> 00:09:13,253
Pronounced "Skatt."
251
00:09:13,254 --> 00:09:14,921
Oh, yeah. "Skatt."
252
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,722
Yeah, got it legally changed in court.
253
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,858
Yeah, that's great.
And you look like you literally
254
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,193
can't stop partying like it's 1999.
255
00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:23,263
Can't skap, won't skap.
256
00:09:23,264 --> 00:09:25,798
Yeah, I forgot about all the ska puns.
257
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:28,200
Listen, my buddy's getting married,
258
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,470
and he loves your stupid
band for some reason.
259
00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:31,737
You were gonna play his wedding.
260
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,539
I'm going to skap you right there.
261
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:36,876
Skaffirmative Action is no more.
262
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,811
I had to fire P-Riddle this morning.
263
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,213
The dancing guy?
What the hell did he do?
264
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,882
He sent his skattorney after me...
265
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,484
Trying to get a songwriting credit
266
00:09:44,485 --> 00:09:47,087
for on of our hit songs,
"Third Trimester Skabortion."
267
00:09:47,088 --> 00:09:49,355
Yeah, Scott, I don't care, okay?
268
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,891
Just play without him, please.
269
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,559
No skan do, skaballero.
270
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,028
A ska band without a dancing guy?
271
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,698
It's like a wallet
without a chain... useless.
272
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,767
That is the most ridiculous
thing I've never heard.
273
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:02,985
[SNAPS FINGERS] Skedaddle.
274
00:10:02,987 --> 00:10:05,237
- Don't you mean skadaddle?
- No.
275
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,239
- You missed it.
- No, I didn't.
276
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,174
Yeah, you did!
277
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:12,044
[BREATHING HEAVILY] Hey! Here.
278
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,180
One 12-pack of beer, good sirs.
279
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:16,182
About time.
280
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,650
Oh. Almost forgot your change.
281
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,219
[CHUCKLES]
282
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:22,922
[CAN POPS]
283
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:25,624
Ready for that hobo can secret.
284
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:31,397
If you could just tell me
where to get some cans.
285
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:34,099
[BURPS]
286
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:39,205
No rush. Just a best friend emergency.
287
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,940
Ah.
288
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:43,810
[CAN CLATTERS] Now, about them cans.
289
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:45,211
Okay.
290
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:46,746
Rufus here's got a whole trove
stored in a water tower,
291
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,681
but he won't tell us where
'cause he don't trust us.
292
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:51,884
That's right. Goddamn lizard people.
293
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:54,220
And he can't get them himself
on account of the missing leg.
294
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,489
- Who took his leg?
- Damn wild dogs.
295
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,624
Been terrorizing SuckTown for years.
296
00:10:58,625 --> 00:10:59,625
SuTo!
297
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,093
I was born here,
298
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,428
and I'll call it SuckTown
299
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,230
If I want to call it SuckTown.
300
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:06,098
Get my leg back,
301
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,700
I'll get you all the cans you can carry.
302
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:08,701
Wow!
303
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,135
This is just like a video game.
304
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,308
How is that guy not homeless?
305
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:18,978
306
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,781
Hey, Phil. You got a second?
307
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:22,915
Not really.
308
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:27,653
I just had a few questions
about your religion.
309
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:28,921
I would've never pegged you as a man
310
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,590
that was interested
in the Church of Satan.
311
00:11:30,591 --> 00:11:32,192
Don't be ashamed.
312
00:11:32,193 --> 00:11:33,860
A lot of people bristle
when they hear the word "Satan."
313
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:37,730
But we believe he represents
pride and individualism.
314
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:38,865
- You know, Anton LaVey...
- That's great.
315
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,533
Can I be ordained to marry
someone in your church
316
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,602
- in time for Loren's wedding?
- Well, why didn't you say so?
317
00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:44,604
If we're gonna fast-track this,
318
00:11:44,605 --> 00:11:46,939
we're going to have to send
a vial of your blood
319
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,341
to HQ in Poughkeepsie.
320
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,011
- Real blood?
- Yes.
321
00:11:51,012 --> 00:11:53,345
This will be quick. But it will hurt.
322
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,347
[WHIMPERS]
323
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:58,418
[SINGS INDISTINCTLY]
324
00:11:58,419 --> 00:11:59,952
Aaaaah.
325
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,621
I don't want to do it,
I don't want to do it,
326
00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:03,089
I don't want to do it,
I don't want to do it.
327
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,490
328
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,893
I call it the "Neat Joseph."
329
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:09,829
It's a Sloppy Joe,
but I've removed the slop.
330
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,231
I'm sorry, Rod.
331
00:12:11,232 --> 00:12:12,364
Were you under the impression
that my wedding
332
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:14,434
is taking place at a trailer park?!
333
00:12:14,435 --> 00:12:16,102
No, I was under the impression
it was taking place
334
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,037
in a high school gymnasium, Loren.
335
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,505
- You want to go, Rod?
- Yeah, I would love to go!
336
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,908
- It's a big day!
- What my client is trying to say
337
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,911
is that maybe you could,
you know, fancy it up.
338
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,312
You know, the Marine in me
339
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,781
wants to tell this prick to sit on it!
340
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:32,117
But the chef in me really wants
to rise to this challenge.
341
00:12:33,482 --> 00:12:35,588
All right, here's your tux.
342
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,856
I'm sorry.
343
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,658
Does this make me look like
I'm going to the BET Awards?
344
00:12:38,659 --> 00:12:40,860
- No, it does not.
- And that's the problem.
345
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,129
- She doesn't listen.
- Please have your kids do it again.
346
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,597
Yeah, except good this time.
347
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,132
All right, you want
to come at me, Payton?
348
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,399
You are blowing it right now.
349
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,335
- Grow up!
- Go back and have them do it again.
350
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,003
Loren.
351
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,738
- What?
- Can you dial it back a little bit?
352
00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,006
- You're becoming Groomzilla.
- [SCOFFS]
353
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,408
Oh, am I a Groomzilla?
This is me at a four!
354
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,210
Act like a real wedding planner.
355
00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,612
You wanted the job, you got the job.
356
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,013
Here's another centerpiece.
357
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:02,749
Are these from a children's hospital?
358
00:13:02,750 --> 00:13:04,817
- No!
- Then why does this card say,
359
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,619
"Hope you fly out of
this cancer ward soon"?
360
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,422
Look, you try to get flowers
for an entire wedding
361
00:13:09,423 --> 00:13:10,556
for 50 bucks!
362
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:13,093
Yeah, hey, bad news.
Skaffirmative Action is out.
363
00:13:13,094 --> 00:13:15,427
And I really tried on this one.
364
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:16,963
Good news... Once I find Rufus's leg,
365
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,965
they're going to tell me
the hobo's secret.
366
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,432
LOREN: That's it! The wedding is off!
367
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:21,834
I guess asking your co-workers to plan
368
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,703
the perfect storybook wedding for free
369
00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:26,106
was a little too much to ask, wasn't it?
370
00:13:26,107 --> 00:13:27,440
- Thanks a lot!
- ABBEY: Shoemaker!
371
00:13:27,441 --> 00:13:29,509
Can you please just
book this band already?
372
00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:31,844
They're not gonna do it
without their dancing guy.
373
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:34,714
I am the wedding planner,
374
00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:37,850
which means that I will do
everything in my power
375
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:40,720
to make my special day...
376
00:13:40,721 --> 00:13:43,790
My client's special day... Perfect!
377
00:13:43,791 --> 00:13:45,591
Unless you want me to have Quinn
378
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,860
rescind his offer of paternity leave.
379
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,662
Fine!
380
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,998
And tux!
381
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,265
Oh, super-important wedding question.
382
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,801
If you were a wild dog...
383
00:13:54,802 --> 00:13:57,269
Where are the cans, Fairbell?!
384
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,628
385
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,307
386
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,347
You have really outdone yourself, Rod.
387
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,683
Did you know there's a kind of tuna
388
00:14:09,684 --> 00:14:11,284
you don't have to mix with mayonnaise?
389
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:13,619
Finally, Tammy,
these arrangements are rustic,
390
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:14,754
yet refined.
391
00:14:14,755 --> 00:14:16,422
About as rustic
and refined as that field
392
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,157
by my house where
that Blockbuster used to be.
393
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,960
Food, check. Flowers, check. Band...
394
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:23,897
Checkity-check, check, a-checkity-check!
395
00:14:23,898 --> 00:14:26,700
Checkered pants. Checkered past.
396
00:14:26,701 --> 00:14:27,901
Is that Skaffirmative Action?
397
00:14:27,902 --> 00:14:29,502
You bet your skass it is.
398
00:14:29,503 --> 00:14:32,485
The Rocky Mountain Region's
most diverse ska band.
399
00:14:33,574 --> 00:14:35,374
No other Rocky Mountain ska band
400
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,843
has done more to promote equality
401
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,512
than these guys right here.
402
00:14:39,513 --> 00:14:43,116
That's right.
Old Shoemaker pulled it off.
403
00:14:43,117 --> 00:14:44,421
[LAUGHS]
404
00:14:44,422 --> 00:14:46,292
And all it cost me
405
00:14:46,293 --> 00:14:50,123
was every last shred
of musical integrity
406
00:14:50,124 --> 00:14:51,190
that I have ever had.
407
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:54,127
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- What? What? God!
408
00:14:54,128 --> 00:14:56,395
Dancing guy does not touch the mic!
409
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,197
Hey, little miss size zero.
410
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,265
I know you're busy,
411
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,733
but I got to do the final alterations,
412
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:04,270
and Jade just conveniently had
to run a last minute errand...
413
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:06,339
Probably in SuckTown,
if you know what I mean.
414
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,741
- [SIGHS]
- I need a body in that dress.
415
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,343
Oh, uh...
416
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,677
Let's go.
417
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,613
Game day, dude.
418
00:15:13,614 --> 00:15:15,548
Everything's gonna be great.
419
00:15:15,549 --> 00:15:18,217
Nothing can go disastrously wrong.
420
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,552
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- Baby boy.
421
00:15:19,553 --> 00:15:20,954
Jade!
422
00:15:20,955 --> 00:15:22,688
We're not supposed to see
each other before the wedding.
423
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,957
It's fine.
424
00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:26,692
I cannot believe the lengths
you went to for this wedding.
425
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,227
Skaffirmative Action is here!
426
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,362
What?
427
00:15:29,363 --> 00:15:31,297
I mean, I-I know!
428
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,898
Yeah, everything looks so beautiful.
429
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,568
Well, I keep telling you you
deserve a fairytale wedding.
430
00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:37,370
I'm just scared you have
expectations I can't fulfill.
431
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,905
Shh! Shush!
432
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:42,776
Look, I know our relationship
might be un-traditional...
433
00:15:42,777 --> 00:15:44,444
You're a prostitute, I'm a teacher.
434
00:15:44,445 --> 00:15:47,046
We're both renegades
playing by our own rules.
435
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,048
I'm not asking you to be
something that you're not, Jade.
436
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,184
I'm asking to marry you...
The real you...
437
00:15:51,185 --> 00:15:52,852
'cause that's what I fell in love with.
438
00:15:52,853 --> 00:15:54,320
Want me to eat your butt one last time
439
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,322
while the church still frowns upon it?
440
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,791
- Oh, hell, yes!
- Yes, go!
441
00:15:57,792 --> 00:15:59,124
- All right, let me get that belt off.
- Take your pants off.
442
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,059
- There's my girl.
- Yes!
443
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:01,127
Okay, all right.
444
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,528
Jade!
445
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:03,863
- Don't you knock?
- I've been looking all over for you!
446
00:16:03,864 --> 00:16:06,065
- Where have you been?
- Oh, wow, Abbey.
447
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,133
- You're in my wedding dress. Why?
- No, no, no, no.
448
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,670
I was filling in for you
until I found you,
449
00:16:10,671 --> 00:16:13,072
but then Leslie's kids
sewed the zipper on wrong,
450
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,274
and now I'm stuck in it!
451
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,609
You don't happen to have
anything else white
452
00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:17,877
that you can wear, do you?
453
00:16:17,878 --> 00:16:19,078
I do have a spare dress in my car.
454
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,413
It's part of the November Rain package.
455
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:21,614
It's big with widowers.
456
00:16:21,615 --> 00:16:23,683
So I will just go slip that on.
457
00:16:23,684 --> 00:16:25,218
- Great.
- Yes.
458
00:16:25,219 --> 00:16:27,687
FAIRBELL: I did it!
459
00:16:27,688 --> 00:16:32,225
Wow. Giving a dog a bone is not
like it is in the cartoons,
460
00:16:32,226 --> 00:16:33,827
but I got your leg,
461
00:16:33,828 --> 00:16:35,895
and just in time for the wedding.
462
00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:38,031
- That ain't my leg.
- What?!
463
00:16:38,032 --> 00:16:39,365
Do I look Swedish to you?
464
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,700
Whose leg is this?
465
00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:42,235
Could be anyone's.
466
00:16:42,236 --> 00:16:45,371
Goddamn lizard people
sneak in here at night
467
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,973
and mix and match all our body parts.
468
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:51,244
Deal's off. No leg, no cans.
469
00:16:51,245 --> 00:16:53,345
470
00:16:55,716 --> 00:16:56,716
Hey!
471
00:16:56,717 --> 00:16:58,184
See ya later, SuckTown!
472
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,786
Hey, he's got the cans... The good ones!
473
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,522
[PEOPLE SHOUTING]
474
00:17:02,523 --> 00:17:05,324
475
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:08,662
Well, take it all in. It's all for you.
476
00:17:08,663 --> 00:17:10,730
Most of these are
actually Jade's clients,
477
00:17:10,731 --> 00:17:14,133
but I cannot believe you got
Skaffirmative Action to play!
478
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,202
- Are you kidding me?
- Yeah, you betcha!
479
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,670
Listen, I know this is last minute,
480
00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:21,340
but I would be honored
if you would be the best man.
481
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,877
- You mean I won the job?
- You did. Above and beyond.
482
00:17:23,878 --> 00:17:26,679
Wow!
483
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:27,947
No.
484
00:17:27,948 --> 00:17:29,215
What do you mean "no"?
485
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:31,417
Hard pass. Yes!
486
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:32,685
[LAUGHS]
487
00:17:32,686 --> 00:17:33,953
So you're willing to humiliate yourself
488
00:17:33,954 --> 00:17:35,421
as the dancing guy in a ska band
489
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,756
just so you could snub me
at my own wedding?
490
00:17:36,757 --> 00:17:38,491
- Oh, 100 percent. Yeah.
- God.
491
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,093
I guess you could call it a long skon.
492
00:17:40,094 --> 00:17:42,361
[LAUGHS] Is this about
the stupid bachelor party?
493
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,698
You betcha! Feels good.
494
00:17:44,699 --> 00:17:46,699
Well, I'd be lying if I said
I didn't see this coming.
495
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,167
- Mm-hmm.
- Which is why I have a backup plan.
496
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,502
Oh, Scott!
497
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,904
Pick it up, pick it up,
pick it up, pick it up,
498
00:17:50,905 --> 00:17:52,972
pick it up! What's up!
Looking skarp!
499
00:17:52,973 --> 00:17:54,173
It's best man right here!
500
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:55,575
- Yeah.
- My best man.
501
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,176
Seriously?
502
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,444
- Your name's Loren?
- Yeah. Loren.
503
00:17:58,445 --> 00:17:59,745
This is my wedding.
504
00:18:01,916 --> 00:18:03,516
Oh, my God.
505
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:04,984
My dad's here!
506
00:18:04,985 --> 00:18:07,921
Papa! Papa!
507
00:18:07,922 --> 00:18:09,655
I can't believe he came.
508
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:11,124
He was against the wedding
509
00:18:11,125 --> 00:18:13,459
and everything else I've ever done.
510
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,328
Well, the love between
a skather and skon
511
00:18:15,329 --> 00:18:16,930
can be a beautiful thing.
512
00:18:16,931 --> 00:18:19,465
Is he sitting on Jade's side?
513
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,133
They're probably just friends.
514
00:18:22,803 --> 00:18:26,005
[SKA RENDITION OF WAGNER'S
"WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS]
515
00:18:34,949 --> 00:18:36,882
516
00:18:40,354 --> 00:18:44,023
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
517
00:18:44,024 --> 00:18:47,560
Welcome, everyone.
518
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:52,097
We are gathered here today
519
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:57,303
beneath the piercing gaze
of Baphomet, the goat god,
520
00:18:57,304 --> 00:19:01,040
to celebrate the love
of two other little devils
521
00:19:01,041 --> 00:19:06,179
who played by their own rules...
Loren and Jade.
522
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:09,048
But what can be said about these two
523
00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:11,955
that can't be better said through song?
524
00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:15,106
So, Dan, come on up.
525
00:19:20,394 --> 00:19:22,528
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
526
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:24,998
[SIGHS]
527
00:19:24,999 --> 00:19:27,600
[INHALES DEEPLY]
528
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:33,601
Ave Maria
529
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:45,279
Gratia plena
530
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:52,020
Et benedictus fructus ventris
531
00:19:53,494 --> 00:19:59,494
Ventris tui, Jesus
532
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:05,371
Ave
533
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:11,372
Maria
534
00:20:14,568 --> 00:20:15,915
Thank you, Trebin.
535
00:20:15,916 --> 00:20:18,117
- Anything for love.
- [CHUCKLES]
536
00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:20,219
I can see your panties
through your dress.
537
00:20:21,255 --> 00:20:22,454
[DOOR OPENS]
538
00:20:25,363 --> 00:20:28,728
Mission accomplished! Am I late?
539
00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:30,930
You're right on time, buddy.
540
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:35,801
Loren and Jade have prepared
their own vows.
541
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,603
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- Loren.
542
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:41,474
Jade, when I first told people
I was marrying a prostitute,
543
00:20:41,475 --> 00:20:42,542
they couldn't believe it.
544
00:20:42,543 --> 00:20:44,143
They were like, "Wow,
545
00:20:44,144 --> 00:20:46,279
you're the wokest person I've ever met."
546
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,947
And I was like, "I know."
547
00:20:47,948 --> 00:20:49,883
You make me a better man, Jade.
I've found myself in you.
548
00:20:49,884 --> 00:20:51,350
[AUDIENCE GROANS, CHEERS]
549
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,018
Not like that!
550
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:55,088
- I mean, yes, like that, too.
- Yes.
551
00:20:55,089 --> 00:20:56,890
But also on a personal level.
552
00:20:56,891 --> 00:20:59,092
I love you so much, Jade.
553
00:20:59,093 --> 00:21:00,359
Oh.
554
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,028
Dark lord, preserve me. [SNIFFLES]
555
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,284
- Good stuff.
- Thanks, bud.
556
00:21:05,285 --> 00:21:06,299
Jade.
557
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:07,700
Loren, I had my vows prepared,
558
00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:10,436
but then we spoke earlier,
and what you said,
559
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:12,572
it touched me deep inside.
560
00:21:12,573 --> 00:21:14,039
[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
561
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,775
No, not like that!
562
00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:17,843
Like that, but, you know.
563
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:20,980
It made me realize that
you make me a better person.
564
00:21:20,981 --> 00:21:22,515
And I want to be
a better person for you,
565
00:21:22,516 --> 00:21:25,318
so I'm quitting the escort game.
566
00:21:25,319 --> 00:21:26,986
Wait, what?
567
00:21:26,987 --> 00:21:28,854
What? [AUDIENCE MURMURING]
568
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:30,123
Why?
569
00:21:30,124 --> 00:21:31,457
Well, seeing how important it was
570
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,259
for you to have this beautiful,
traditional wedding
571
00:21:33,260 --> 00:21:34,527
really touched me, Loren.
572
00:21:34,528 --> 00:21:37,863
It made me realize this kind
of life wouldn't be that bad...
573
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:38,864
A normal life.
574
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:40,066
Gross! No.
575
00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:41,667
Who said I wanted a normal life?
576
00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:42,936
Well, then, why would
you go through all this?
577
00:21:42,937 --> 00:21:44,270
For you.
578
00:21:44,271 --> 00:21:45,338
I did this traditional...
579
00:21:45,339 --> 00:21:48,341
Mostly traditional... Wedding for you.
580
00:21:48,342 --> 00:21:49,542
Like the one you always dreamed of
581
00:21:49,543 --> 00:21:51,277
during your terrible childhood
582
00:21:51,278 --> 00:21:53,212
that led to a life of prostitution.
583
00:21:53,213 --> 00:21:56,349
- All the horror and agony...
- Loren, stop.
584
00:21:56,350 --> 00:21:58,473
Loren, I didn't have a bad childhood.
585
00:21:59,486 --> 00:22:01,887
The reason I got into all
of this was to pay off school.
586
00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:04,958
And then it turns out
I was just so good at it.
587
00:22:04,959 --> 00:22:06,159
"Was so good at it"?
588
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,027
You're already using the past tense?
589
00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:10,764
I can just feel my wokeness
drifting away right now.
590
00:22:10,765 --> 00:22:13,099
Well, is being woke the only
reason you're in this relationship?
591
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:14,700
No, of course not.
592
00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:16,369
It's like 70 percent.
593
00:22:16,370 --> 00:22:18,571
That's the most shallow
thing I've ever heard.
594
00:22:18,572 --> 00:22:19,973
Great.
595
00:22:19,974 --> 00:22:21,507
I can't marry you, Loren.
596
00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:23,309
What?
597
00:22:23,310 --> 00:22:25,110
You're breaking up with me? Here?
598
00:22:25,111 --> 00:22:27,113
So, what, you're just gonna
run off down the aisle now?
599
00:22:27,114 --> 00:22:28,514
Well, actually, do you mind if I stay?
600
00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:31,250
A bunch of my clients are here.
I've got big spenders in the house.
601
00:22:31,251 --> 00:22:33,719
Fine! I guess I'll do it!
602
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,321
[CRYING] No one look at me!
603
00:22:35,322 --> 00:22:38,557
Wait! I need to release the doves!
604
00:22:40,661 --> 00:22:42,728
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
605
00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,129
Oh.
606
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:47,866
Oh, I forgot to cut air holes.
607
00:22:49,003 --> 00:22:51,170
Can I have these?
608
00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:58,944
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
609
00:22:58,945 --> 00:23:01,080
Hey!
610
00:23:01,081 --> 00:23:03,282
Come on, man!
611
00:23:03,283 --> 00:23:05,018
Pick it up!
612
00:23:05,019 --> 00:23:06,486
Pick it up, pick it up,
pick it up, pick it up,
613
00:23:06,487 --> 00:23:07,887
pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!
614
00:23:07,888 --> 00:23:10,890
Pick it up, pick it up.
Look at this asshole!
615
00:23:10,891 --> 00:23:12,958
Okay, you guys can eat
as much as you want,
616
00:23:12,959 --> 00:23:13,959
but then we're even.
617
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,028
Deal?
618
00:23:15,029 --> 00:23:16,029
- Deal.
- Deal.
619
00:23:16,030 --> 00:23:17,963
Where's the Mac and Cheese shooters?
620
00:23:17,964 --> 00:23:20,834
That's right. Tell me
I can't cater a wedding.
621
00:23:20,835 --> 00:23:22,435
You did a good job, Abbey.
622
00:23:22,436 --> 00:23:25,905
Thanks, Quinn.
I feel sorry for Jade, though.
623
00:23:25,906 --> 00:23:29,108
I have a feeling she'll land on her...
624
00:23:29,109 --> 00:23:30,976
Whoo! Oh!
625
00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:33,246
Well, she'll land. [CHUCKLES]
626
00:23:33,247 --> 00:23:36,049
Anyways, it's a nice thing
you did for your friend.
627
00:23:36,050 --> 00:23:38,051
[SINGING CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
628
00:23:38,052 --> 00:23:40,642
Yeah. For my friend.
629
00:23:41,655 --> 00:23:44,057
Wanna bend the anonymity rule a little?
630
00:23:44,058 --> 00:23:45,525
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
631
00:23:45,526 --> 00:23:47,460
MALE VOICE: Ooh, you're bad. Okay.
632
00:23:47,461 --> 00:23:49,795
I'm between the age of 35 and 50.
633
00:23:49,796 --> 00:23:52,198
[CHUCKLES]
634
00:23:52,199 --> 00:23:54,166
635
00:23:57,003 --> 00:24:01,807
Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
636
00:24:06,012 --> 00:24:10,483
Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
637
00:24:10,484 --> 00:24:12,552
[SIGHS]
638
00:24:12,553 --> 00:24:14,386
See you later, SuckTown.
639
00:24:16,223 --> 00:24:19,158
Ooh, ooh
640
00:24:20,561 --> 00:24:25,030
Ooh, ooh
641
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:29,630
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