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_
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♪ All aboard!
4
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♪ Hip-hop's dead
5
00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:56,667
♪ That's what they said on the news
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♪ Nah, it's still alive
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♪ But it's getting confused
8
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♪ So there's no time to waste
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♪ Not a second to lose
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♪ 'Cause the clocks don't stop
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00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:04,034
♪ When you set 'em to snooze
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♪ And it just don't stop
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00:04:05,933 --> 00:04:07,000
♪ 'Cause the time rolls
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♪ On and on and on
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00:04:08,501 --> 00:04:09,933
♪ To the next stop
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00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:11,027
♪ And it just won't stop
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♪ Because life goes
18
00:04:12,301 --> 00:04:14,234
♪ On and on and on
19
00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:15,533
♪ To the next stop
♪ What, that's how it goes
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00:04:15,534 --> 00:04:16,900
♪ When you hop on the line
21
00:04:17,034 --> 00:04:18,133
♪ You'll find anything you like
22
00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:19,167
♪ But you can't buy time
23
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,341
♪ And there ain't no pause
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♪ No press rewind
25
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♪ So you don't want to get left behind ♪
26
00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:28,034
BOY: Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!
27
00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,267
Moriarty's crime spree over!
28
00:04:30,401 --> 00:04:34,000
Professor James Moriarty
faces justice today!
29
00:04:34,134 --> 00:04:36,600
The Napoleon of crime on trial!
30
00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:39,967
- Greatest criminal in the empire!
- That's fake news.
31
00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,401
(GAVEL BANGS) JUDGE:
Professor James Moriarty.
32
00:04:43,434 --> 00:04:46,034
You have been the organizer
of half that is evil
33
00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:50,334
and all that goes undetected
in this great city.
34
00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:54,601
Today, you are charged with
murder in the first degree,
35
00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:58,601
but all the witnesses have died.
36
00:04:58,734 --> 00:05:03,000
Without said witnesses, I have
no choice but to set you free.
37
00:05:03,134 --> 00:05:04,768
(GALLERY MURMURING)
38
00:05:06,768 --> 00:05:08,467
Inspector Lestrade,
39
00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:11,634
you simply must take
better care of your witnesses.
40
00:05:11,768 --> 00:05:14,734
(GALLERY JEERING)
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00:05:14,867 --> 00:05:16,434
Mark my words,
42
00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:18,967
Sherlock Holmes is
on his way and, with him,
43
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:22,034
the evidence that will
damn you to the noose.
44
00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:25,967
Then we should all pray he arrives soon,
for, on the strike of noon,
45
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,367
I shall have to release this menace.
46
00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:29,967
Sherlock will be here.
47
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:33,434
He is about to burst through
those doors right now.
48
00:05:40,901 --> 00:05:43,300
Stop this trial at once!
49
00:05:43,434 --> 00:05:45,367
I, Sherlock Holmes,
50
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:48,867
have solved the case
of Professor James Moriarty.
51
00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:51,534
Wonderful.
Wonderful, Holmes.
52
00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:54,634
A dramatic entrance worthy
of your greatest achievement.
53
00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:57,467
Watson, did you notice my emphasis
54
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,734
on "Professor James Moriarty"?
55
00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:01,200
Yes, with the finger, yes.
56
00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:03,001
Much better than the hand.
Yes.
57
00:06:03,134 --> 00:06:05,901
Instead of the karate chop,
I went to the index finger.
58
00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:07,667
Yes, it's the best one yet.
59
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,434
This is the moment everyone's
been waiting for. Right here.
60
00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:13,901
Yes, and they're literally
waiting for it now.
61
00:06:14,034 --> 00:06:15,534
Oh, yes.
You must get dressed.
62
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:16,901
Yes?
Very well.
63
00:06:17,034 --> 00:06:18,634
There we are.
There are your things.
64
00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:20,500
Remember, trial of the century. Yes.
65
00:06:20,634 --> 00:06:22,567
We have but...
Oh, let's see now.
66
00:06:22,701 --> 00:06:24,534
Just 16 minutes left, Holmes.
67
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,501
- Nearly there?
- HOLMES: Nearly there.
68
00:06:27,634 --> 00:06:31,434
A sniff of morning cocaine
always helps the brain. Ah!
69
00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:32,768
Come now, Sherlock.
70
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,668
We mustn't let that trial conclude.
71
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,467
For this occasion,
I have selected a new hat.
72
00:06:38,601 --> 00:06:41,933
From now on, when people utter
the name "Sherlock Holmes,"
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00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:45,000
they will picture this.
74
00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:50,400
Brilliant. Can we go?
75
00:06:50,534 --> 00:06:52,834
Your furrowed brow
betrays your lying lips.
76
00:06:52,967 --> 00:06:54,134
Oh, no.
77
00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:55,534
Not to worry.
78
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:56,834
Ta-da!
79
00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:58,834
Hey, there, cowboy.
(LAUGHS)
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00:06:58,967 --> 00:07:00,734
That's the one. That's the one.
Bang, bang.
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00:07:00,867 --> 00:07:02,333
We should leave, yes?
82
00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:04,134
Oh!
Aye, aye.
83
00:07:04,267 --> 00:07:05,867
I say, I like that one very much.
84
00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:08,434
You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes.
85
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:11,901
(GASPS) Mrs. Hudson,
what do you think of this one?
86
00:07:12,034 --> 00:07:15,734
Me? I'm just a housekeeper
from the Glasgow slums.
87
00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:19,434
The likes of me telling the likes
of you what to put on his noggin?
88
00:07:20,134 --> 00:07:21,400
Good point.
89
00:07:21,534 --> 00:07:23,267
Back to your monkey work, Hudson.
90
00:07:24,834 --> 00:07:26,767
(WATSON CLEARS THROAT)
91
00:07:26,901 --> 00:07:29,199
- WATSON: Perfect, right?
- HOLMES: May I show you a few more hats?
92
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,001
- WATSON: No!
- Someone's left a wee box.
93
00:07:31,134 --> 00:07:32,434
What are you going on about?
94
00:07:32,468 --> 00:07:36,534
I never even heard anyone knocking.
Did you hear anything?
95
00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:37,967
How very queer.
96
00:07:40,534 --> 00:07:43,667
- Queerer and queerer.
- HOLMES: Hmm.
97
00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:45,068
Very odd.
98
00:07:46,101 --> 00:07:47,168
(INSECT BUZZING)
99
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,667
Watson, no.
100
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,100
Holmes, why are you
getting so exercised?
101
00:07:50,101 --> 00:07:52,200
It's merely an empty box.
102
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:55,068
(GASPS)
Watson, this is sent from Moriarty.
103
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,734
He means to kill us.
104
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:57,867
Listen.
105
00:07:58,001 --> 00:08:00,168
(INSECT BUZZING)
106
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,901
Shut that window.
107
00:08:02,034 --> 00:08:04,194
If this winged menace escapes,
it may cause a pandemic.
108
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,567
A killer mosquito?
109
00:08:05,701 --> 00:08:07,567
The insect is infected
with African plague.
110
00:08:07,701 --> 00:08:10,034
One bite means death.
111
00:08:10,168 --> 00:08:12,333
Now, dance a Dutch jig.
112
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,901
♪ ♪
113
00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:19,734
You don't have to ask me twice
to do a Dutch jig, but why?
114
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,567
Your body heat will attract
him to dine on your flesh.
115
00:08:22,701 --> 00:08:23,600
Brilliant.
116
00:08:23,734 --> 00:08:26,333
Hold! Don't move.
117
00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:28,034
Where is it?
Right there.
118
00:08:28,168 --> 00:08:29,608
There. Right there on your forehead.
119
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,901
Kill it, Holmes.
I'm going to kill it.
120
00:08:32,034 --> 00:08:33,068
(BUZZING)
121
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,867
There it is.
Where?
122
00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:37,001
Hold, hold. No, no.
Where?
123
00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:38,400
(BUZZING)
124
00:08:38,534 --> 00:08:39,967
(GROANS) No, hold, hold.
125
00:08:40,101 --> 00:08:41,034
Is it biting?
126
00:08:41,168 --> 00:08:42,333
(BOTH GRUNTING)
127
00:08:43,101 --> 00:08:44,068
I hear it.
128
00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:47,500
(GRUNTS)
(GROANING)
129
00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:48,634
I see it.
130
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,834
(BUZZING)
131
00:08:50,967 --> 00:08:52,333
The tip!
132
00:08:52,467 --> 00:08:54,333
Don't worry, boys.
I brought a net.
133
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:55,901
(GROANS)
134
00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:59,400
(BEES BUZZING)
135
00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:06,901
It is now seven minutes before noon.
136
00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:10,034
Upon the lowering of my gavel,
137
00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:12,634
the charges shall be dismissed.
138
00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:15,600
(GALLERY GASPING, MURMURING)
I shall raise my gavel in the air
139
00:09:15,734 --> 00:09:19,067
that so... and then bring it down
140
00:09:19,201 --> 00:09:23,234
briskly, making a satisfying bang,
141
00:09:23,368 --> 00:09:28,200
at which point the prisoner
shall go free.
142
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:29,567
(GALLERY GASPS)
143
00:09:31,301 --> 00:09:32,867
(BUZZING)
144
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:42,167
HOLMES: Angle of approach.
145
00:09:42,301 --> 00:09:44,200
Compensate for warp in floor.
146
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,900
Count for resistance due to dust motes.
147
00:09:47,034 --> 00:09:48,567
Probable outcome,
148
00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:50,381
termination of mosquito.
(MOSQUITO SQUEAKS)
149
00:09:50,401 --> 00:09:52,933
Integrity of bee habitat maintained.
150
00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:55,501
Deadly bee swarm averted.
151
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,401
(GRUNTS)
(SQUISHES)
152
00:09:58,534 --> 00:09:59,567
(BEES BUZZING)
153
00:10:00,101 --> 00:10:02,168
(GASPS)
The mosquito's vanquished.
154
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:03,867
(SIGHS)
Well done, Holmes.
155
00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:07,634
It's a simple matter of
geometry, entomology and physics.
156
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:09,701
(QUIET CRACKLING)
157
00:10:11,333 --> 00:10:12,234
(GLASS SHATTERING)
158
00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:15,334
Oh, my God!
Oh, shit.
159
00:10:15,467 --> 00:10:19,134
Watson! Stop panicking!
We can disable the queen.
160
00:10:19,267 --> 00:10:20,967
It's making them angry, Holmes!
161
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:29,368
Oh, my God.
What are they doing?
162
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,934
They're turning this way!
163
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:33,700
Just do anything!
Help me!
164
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:36,767
It's working!
165
00:10:36,901 --> 00:10:38,433
It's not working!
166
00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:40,533
Get it off!
It's not working!
167
00:10:40,667 --> 00:10:41,734
(WATSON GRUNTS)
168
00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:43,767
Holmes, we retreat.
169
00:10:43,901 --> 00:10:46,800
Run for safety. I'll lead them away.
(GRUNTING)
170
00:10:46,934 --> 00:10:48,700
(SCREAMING, GROANS)
171
00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,800
(BEES BUZZING)
172
00:10:50,934 --> 00:10:52,433
(HORSE NEIGHS)
173
00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:54,234
(CLOCK TICKING)
174
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:03,734
(GALLERY GASPS)
175
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,234
(GUNSHOT)
(GALLERY GASPING)
176
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,201
Stop this trial!
177
00:11:10,334 --> 00:11:12,700
(GALLERY MURMURING, YELLING)
178
00:11:19,234 --> 00:11:22,967
May I present to you
the greatest detective of all time,
179
00:11:23,101 --> 00:11:26,767
solver of the unsolvable,
untier of Gordian knots,
180
00:11:26,901 --> 00:11:31,967
bester of conundrums,
the great Sherlock Holmes.
181
00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:33,634
(GALLERY CHEERING)
182
00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:36,368
GALLERY: (CHANTING)
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
183
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,234
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
184
00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:41,767
Stop this trial at once!
185
00:11:44,867 --> 00:11:47,134
(MAN GROANS)
186
00:11:47,268 --> 00:11:49,600
JUDGE: Thank goodness
you've arrived, Mr. Holmes.
187
00:11:49,734 --> 00:11:53,101
Now, what startling new evidence
do you have for the court?
188
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,467
I am the evidence.
189
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:55,934
(GALLERY GASPING, MURMURING)
190
00:11:56,135 --> 00:11:59,135
Inspector Lestrade,
call the police office.
191
00:11:59,336 --> 00:12:02,736
_
192
00:12:03,337 --> 00:12:05,737
_ _
193
00:12:05,938 --> 00:12:08,338
_ _ _
194
00:12:08,339 --> 00:12:10,739
_ _ _ _
195
00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:12,540
_ _ _ _ _
196
00:12:12,541 --> 00:12:15,141
_
197
00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:17,242
_ _
198
00:12:17,243 --> 00:12:19,643
_ _ _
199
00:12:19,644 --> 00:12:22,544
_
200
00:12:22,545 --> 00:12:26,145
_ _
201
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,546
_ _ _
202
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:31,947
_
203
00:12:32,148 --> 00:12:34,948
_ _
204
00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:38,949
_ _ _
205
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:41,668
Now... I recall the day vividly.
206
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,067
I arrived at the crime scene alone.
207
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,167
Completely and utterly alone.
208
00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:48,967
(SIGHS, SCOFFS)
209
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,767
I meticulously inspected every
nook and cranny of that study,
210
00:12:52,801 --> 00:12:57,868
hunting for clues, much like
a panther stalks its prey.
211
00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:02,767
(ROARS)
(ALL GASP)
212
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,801
And as I stood there,
213
00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:08,200
I began to employ
a groundbreaking new technique.
214
00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:09,934
Right there.
215
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:12,667
Behold! Fingerprints.
(GALLERY MURMURING)
216
00:13:12,801 --> 00:13:16,734
Imagine a print
being taken from a finger.
217
00:13:17,434 --> 00:13:18,567
I love it.
218
00:13:18,701 --> 00:13:21,234
How do these prove Moriarty's guilt?
219
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,868
(SHELL CASINGS CLINKING)
220
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,000
Watson.
221
00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:30,033
Moriarty would never leave
a trail of clues,
222
00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:31,834
which begs the question,
223
00:13:31,968 --> 00:13:33,634
why was this crime scene
224
00:13:33,767 --> 00:13:37,467
so uncharacteristically
littered with fingerprints?
225
00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:39,200
Good work, Watson.
226
00:13:39,334 --> 00:13:40,633
Thank you. I just thought
of what you might have done.
227
00:13:40,634 --> 00:13:42,467
I compared these prints
228
00:13:42,601 --> 00:13:45,667
to those of the man standing before you.
229
00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:47,267
A perfect match.
230
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,667
Unequivocal proof that this man
231
00:13:50,801 --> 00:13:53,167
- is innocent.
- LESTRADE: What?
232
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,767
But if those are Moriarty's prints,
233
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,868
then Moriarty is the murderer.
234
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,367
This man is not Moriarty.
235
00:13:59,501 --> 00:14:01,333
(GALLERY GASPING) MAN:
He sure looks like Moriarty.
236
00:14:01,334 --> 00:14:05,133
He's an impostor.
His name is Jacob Musgrave.
237
00:14:05,267 --> 00:14:07,601
A complete look-alike, a doppelganger.
238
00:14:07,734 --> 00:14:11,701
A patsy framed to hang
for Moriarty's crimes,
239
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:14,601
so that I may abandon my pursuit of him
240
00:14:14,734 --> 00:14:17,367
and he can begin life anew in America.
241
00:14:17,501 --> 00:14:21,133
Why would an innocent man agree
to hang for Moriarty's crimes?
242
00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:24,734
Elementary.
This man is terminally ill.
243
00:14:24,868 --> 00:14:27,567
Look at him.
His pallid complexion.
244
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,901
The palsy in his left hand.
245
00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:31,734
Wait. I know.
He's an onanist.
246
00:14:31,868 --> 00:14:34,968
Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind.
247
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:36,501
MAN: What's an onanist?
248
00:14:36,634 --> 00:14:38,300
WATSON: He...
Let's see.
249
00:14:38,434 --> 00:14:40,901
He pours his own tea.
250
00:14:42,801 --> 00:14:46,667
He likes to create his own sauce.
251
00:14:46,801 --> 00:14:50,267
- He is a saucier.
- GALLERY: Huh?
252
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,868
And the name of his restaurant
is Crotch Kitchen.
253
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,133
On a daily basis,
he creams his own eclair.
254
00:14:57,267 --> 00:15:01,334
He is Romeo and Juliet.
255
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,434
That should do it.
256
00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:06,167
- This here.
- MAN: Oh, he's a wanker.
257
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,334
WATSON: Thank you.
258
00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:09,200
Sorry, ladies.
(CHUCKLES)
259
00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:12,667
This chap here had nothing
to lose by being executed.
260
00:15:12,801 --> 00:15:15,501
He was literally dying by his own hand.
261
00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:17,968
It causes death, you see.
262
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:21,200
The infallible Sherlock Holmes
has indeed spoken.
263
00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:24,801
In light of his testimony, I order
the release of the suspect.
264
00:15:24,934 --> 00:15:30,534
What? This is an outrage!
Do not let this murderer free.
265
00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:33,968
Bang, bang, bang!
Court is adjourned.
266
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,067
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
267
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,534
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
268
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,334
Why are you cheering?
269
00:15:42,334 --> 00:15:43,868
Sherlock!
270
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,033
GALLERY: (CHANTING)
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
271
00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:48,666
WATSON: That couldn't have gone better.
272
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:49,934
HOLMES: It couldn't have.
273
00:15:50,067 --> 00:15:51,500
And I tell you, that case was rather...
274
00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:54,267
It took us three years to catch him.
275
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,934
If we release him now,
we may never find him again.
276
00:15:57,067 --> 00:16:00,400
Put aside your ego and admit I am right.
277
00:16:00,534 --> 00:16:04,467
I am afraid Moriarty's
long gone to America.
278
00:16:04,601 --> 00:16:07,434
Whatever crimes Moriarty
commits from now on
279
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:08,868
are on your head.
280
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,100
WATSON: I quite like
seeing Lestrade upset.
281
00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:15,000
(LAUGHS) Yeah. I do, too.
282
00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:16,801
(HORSE NEIGHS)
283
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,534
(VIOLIN PLAYING)
284
00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:23,200
WATSON: Professor James
Moriarty fled to the Americas
285
00:16:23,334 --> 00:16:28,968
and would never darken England again.
286
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,660
(VIOLIN PLAYING OFF-KEY)
(HOLMES GROANS)
287
00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:32,834
(GRUNTING)
288
00:16:32,935 --> 00:16:36,035
_
289
00:16:36,236 --> 00:16:41,236
_ _
290
00:16:58,534 --> 00:16:59,834
Holmes.
291
00:17:00,634 --> 00:17:02,267
Are you upset?
292
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,500
It's just that Moriarty
was the whetstone
293
00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:06,734
upon which I sharpened my mental blade.
294
00:17:06,867 --> 00:17:11,168
With him gone, not there
to challenge me, why go on?
295
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:14,034
Instead, I shall occupy
my great, great mind
296
00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:16,400
with nutritional science.
297
00:17:16,534 --> 00:17:17,901
My research suggests
298
00:17:18,034 --> 00:17:20,667
that the sulfurous compounds
of the common onion
299
00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:23,034
can increase your red blood cells.
300
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,634
Vital for human health.
301
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,134
(GRUNTING)
302
00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:28,034
Just bite it like an apple, eh?
Mmm-hmm.
303
00:17:28,168 --> 00:17:29,834
(HOLMES EXCLAIMING)
(GASPING)
304
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:31,834
(COUGHING, CHOKING)
305
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:34,300
Definitely takes four or five bites.
306
00:17:34,434 --> 00:17:37,001
(GRUNTING)
307
00:17:37,134 --> 00:17:38,734
Are we meant to eat the whole thing?
308
00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:40,467
The whole thing.
309
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:44,068
Let the juice slither
down the back of your throat.
310
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,500
(GAGGING)
311
00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:49,333
(COUGHING)
Congratulations, Holmes.
312
00:17:49,467 --> 00:17:51,534
You're not only
the smartest man in London,
313
00:17:51,667 --> 00:17:53,767
you shall soon be the healthiest.
314
00:17:53,901 --> 00:17:54,901
Indeed.
315
00:17:56,034 --> 00:17:59,101
Now, where's my opium?
316
00:17:59,233 --> 00:18:00,701
Um...
(GROANS)
317
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:01,767
Mrs. Hudson!
318
00:18:01,901 --> 00:18:03,934
Hudson!
Hudson!
319
00:18:04,068 --> 00:18:05,333
Help!
320
00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:07,534
Hudson, Watson has stuck
a carrot up my bum!
321
00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:08,867
Hudson, help!
322
00:18:09,001 --> 00:18:10,934
Fire! Fire!
Call the police!
323
00:18:11,068 --> 00:18:12,667
Hudson, your mother has died!
324
00:18:12,801 --> 00:18:14,534
You brain-dead bag of bones!
325
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:17,534
Hudson!
Hudson!
326
00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:18,667
Hudson!
327
00:18:18,801 --> 00:18:20,667
Hudson, where are you?
328
00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:22,001
Uh...
(SCOFFS)
329
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:23,867
HOLMES: Did you not hear any of that?
330
00:18:24,001 --> 00:18:25,834
We screamed "fire."
Where?
331
00:18:25,967 --> 00:18:27,534
And we were screaming your name.
332
00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:29,134
You were just there in my bedroom?
333
00:18:29,267 --> 00:18:30,300
(ZIPPER CLOSES)
334
00:18:30,934 --> 00:18:31,901
Oh.
335
00:18:33,134 --> 00:18:34,168
(SCOFFS)
336
00:18:34,369 --> 00:19:40,869
_ _ _
337
00:19:40,932 --> 00:19:43,199
Shut up.
Come on.
338
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:46,766
No wonder my room always
smells like fish pie and swamp.
339
00:19:49,832 --> 00:19:50,832
(DOOR CLOSES)
340
00:19:50,965 --> 00:19:52,333
This came for you.
341
00:19:52,466 --> 00:19:53,865
Hmm.
342
00:19:53,999 --> 00:19:57,199
Sealed by hands unused to manual labor.
343
00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:58,366
WATSON: Hmm.
344
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,299
Hmm.
345
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,999
Saliva from a protein-rich
diet of chicken kidneys.
346
00:20:04,132 --> 00:20:06,533
Why, Watson, it's from the Queen.
347
00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:08,032
(EXCLAIMS)
Huh.
348
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,399
Seems Her Majesty requests my services.
349
00:20:10,533 --> 00:20:13,366
A crime that has baffled
even her closest advisors,
350
00:20:13,499 --> 00:20:16,333
and only my singular intellect
can solve it.
351
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:17,733
Well, well, well,
352
00:20:17,865 --> 00:20:19,832
look who's back in the game.
353
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,060
HOLMES: Watson, are you all right?
354
00:20:23,132 --> 00:20:24,865
WATSON: I'm just very nervous.
355
00:20:24,999 --> 00:20:26,865
I've not met the Queen before.
356
00:20:32,099 --> 00:20:33,533
Deep breath.
Your Majesty,
357
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,666
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson.
358
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,266
(WATSON BREATHING HEAVILY)
359
00:20:38,399 --> 00:20:40,299
My God, it's really her.
360
00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:47,132
Shh.
361
00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:50,932
Watson.
362
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:52,965
Say something.
363
00:20:54,399 --> 00:20:55,633
I love you.
364
00:20:55,766 --> 00:20:58,899
I know I am duty-bound to serve you, but
365
00:20:59,032 --> 00:21:00,633
let me just say, on a personal note,
366
00:21:00,766 --> 00:21:02,131
- I really like you.
- HOLMES: Stop touching her.
367
00:21:02,132 --> 00:21:03,333
Just as a fan.
368
00:21:03,466 --> 00:21:05,232
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Please, sir.
369
00:21:05,366 --> 00:21:06,633
Don't touch the Queen.
370
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,999
Oh!
371
00:21:08,132 --> 00:21:09,666
Quite right.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
372
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,166
Sorry, Your Majesty.
373
00:21:11,299 --> 00:21:12,832
You look a lot smaller in person.
374
00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:14,633
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
375
00:21:14,766 --> 00:21:16,700
Just stop. Just stop.
Sorry. It's true.
376
00:21:16,832 --> 00:21:17,999
Just stop talking.
377
00:21:18,132 --> 00:21:19,399
Yes.
Stop talking.
378
00:21:20,533 --> 00:21:21,733
I'm crazy about your look.
379
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,499
What did I say?
380
00:21:23,633 --> 00:21:26,166
Am I still talking out loud?
You are. You are.
381
00:21:26,299 --> 00:21:27,932
It's just the Queen.
(EXHALES) Yes.
382
00:21:28,066 --> 00:21:29,032
(WATSON SNORTS)
383
00:21:29,166 --> 00:21:30,766
- Okay?
- WATSON: Okay.
384
00:21:30,899 --> 00:21:31,999
HOLMES: Your Majesty,
385
00:21:32,132 --> 00:21:35,199
how may we be of service to the realm?
386
00:21:35,333 --> 00:21:37,433
Mr. Holmes, pray follow us.
387
00:21:37,566 --> 00:21:39,433
There is danger about.
388
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,433
(EXHALES)
389
00:21:41,566 --> 00:21:42,965
What a looker, right?
390
00:21:43,099 --> 00:21:45,499
She is stunning in person.
(EXHALES)
391
00:21:47,433 --> 00:21:49,166
Fear not, Your Majesty,
392
00:21:49,299 --> 00:21:51,732
Sherlock will allow no harm to
come to you, and neither will I.
393
00:21:51,733 --> 00:21:54,865
Five, four, three,
394
00:21:54,999 --> 00:21:56,700
two, one.
395
00:21:56,832 --> 00:21:58,633
ALL: Surprise!
(APPLAUSE)
396
00:21:58,766 --> 00:22:01,032
Thank you.
Thank you.
397
00:22:01,166 --> 00:22:03,533
Had I been a non-genius
such as yourselves,
398
00:22:03,666 --> 00:22:06,800
there's a 72% chance
I would have been surprised.
399
00:22:06,932 --> 00:22:08,832
Oh! 72%.
(APPLAUSE)
400
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,633
Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes.
401
00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:16,800
We wish you well and thank
you for your many years...
402
00:22:16,932 --> 00:22:19,533
Your many years of public service.
(CORK POPS)
403
00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:22,865
(CHUCKLING)
404
00:22:22,999 --> 00:22:24,566
So, Holmes.
Yes.
405
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:25,666
When did you know?
406
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,166
Tuesday.
407
00:22:27,299 --> 00:22:28,733
Really?
408
00:22:28,865 --> 00:22:30,800
You were seven minutes late coming home.
409
00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,965
(SNIFFING) Stopped at the stationer's,
410
00:22:33,099 --> 00:22:35,166
confirmed by the scent of paper mulch.
411
00:22:35,299 --> 00:22:36,799
(SIGHS) You have the nose
of a bloodhound.
412
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,666
Your mustache betrayed
a dusting of crumbs.
413
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,832
Evidence of cake sampling.
414
00:22:41,965 --> 00:22:43,965
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
Guilty.
415
00:22:44,099 --> 00:22:47,433
And you purchased a case
of pre-phylloxera champagne.
416
00:22:47,566 --> 00:22:51,299
You lack the self-esteem to buy
yourself such an extravagant bottle.
417
00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:53,433
It's true. (CHUCKLES)
418
00:22:53,566 --> 00:22:55,266
I don't deserve nice things.
419
00:22:56,466 --> 00:22:59,299
(SINGERS HARMONIZING)
420
00:22:59,433 --> 00:23:03,333
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow
421
00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:06,999
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
422
00:23:07,132 --> 00:23:09,700
♪ And so say all of us ♪
423
00:23:09,832 --> 00:23:11,800
(LAUGHS) Bravo.
(APPLAUSE)
424
00:23:13,099 --> 00:23:14,399
Thank you.
425
00:23:14,533 --> 00:23:16,066
That was delightful.
426
00:23:16,965 --> 00:23:18,299
Oh, a layer cake.
427
00:23:18,433 --> 00:23:20,399
WATSON: It's shaped
like a magnifying glass.
428
00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:21,533
Yes!
429
00:23:22,433 --> 00:23:24,865
(HOLMES GRUNTING)
430
00:23:24,999 --> 00:23:27,366
The second layer is rather thick.
431
00:23:27,499 --> 00:23:29,366
(GRUNTING)
432
00:23:29,499 --> 00:23:31,865
There must be a few nuts
in there. Uh, if I may.
433
00:23:31,999 --> 00:23:34,800
Would you mind?
Here. Yes, of course.
434
00:23:34,932 --> 00:23:36,132
(WATSON GRUNTS)
(SQUISHING)
435
00:23:36,266 --> 00:23:37,465
Do you see what I'm talking about?
436
00:23:37,466 --> 00:23:38,832
Yes.
Yes.
437
00:23:38,965 --> 00:23:41,032
Ah. Raspberry jam.
438
00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:42,965
Mmm. My weakness.
439
00:23:43,099 --> 00:23:45,266
I know what I need.
440
00:23:45,399 --> 00:23:46,932
MAN: What the...
He's getting an ax!
441
00:23:47,066 --> 00:23:48,433
Brilliant.
Charge!
442
00:23:48,566 --> 00:23:50,299
(SHOUTING)
443
00:23:50,433 --> 00:23:51,865
(CROWD GASPING)
Oh!
444
00:23:51,999 --> 00:23:54,499
LESTRADE: Stand back.
Back, everyone, I say.
445
00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:57,032
A murder in Buckingham Palace.
446
00:23:57,166 --> 00:23:58,666
Look, a note. There.
447
00:24:00,466 --> 00:24:01,800
Right under your nose.
448
00:24:07,932 --> 00:24:09,999
"A birthday present for you, Sherlock.
449
00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:12,299
"A crime to challenge your wits.
450
00:24:12,433 --> 00:24:14,399
"Stop me in four days' time,
451
00:24:14,533 --> 00:24:17,032
"or I will destroy London's
greatest marvel and kill the Queen,
452
00:24:17,166 --> 00:24:19,666
"and I will rewrite history."
453
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,199
Signed "Professor James Moriarty."
454
00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:23,733
HOLMES: Hmm.
455
00:24:23,865 --> 00:24:25,499
This is Jimmy Gruber,
456
00:24:25,633 --> 00:24:27,132
the witness who disappeared,
457
00:24:27,266 --> 00:24:29,700
whose testimony prompted
Moriarty's arrest
458
00:24:29,832 --> 00:24:32,333
and whom Moriarty swore to kill.
459
00:24:32,466 --> 00:24:33,832
And your conclusion?
460
00:24:36,566 --> 00:24:40,633
That Moriarty has killed
again, as I predicted.
461
00:24:40,766 --> 00:24:43,032
Ah. The most obvious conclusion.
462
00:24:43,166 --> 00:24:44,599
(HOLMES AND WATSON SCOFFING)
463
00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,433
No, this is definitely the work
464
00:24:46,566 --> 00:24:49,199
of someone who is going
to extraordinary lengths
465
00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:52,099
to make it appear as if
Moriarty committed these crimes.
466
00:24:52,232 --> 00:24:54,166
- Sherlock Holmes.
- HOLMES: The Queen.
467
00:24:55,932 --> 00:24:59,299
We charge you with the task
of stopping this criminal
468
00:24:59,433 --> 00:25:01,366
before he can do us harm.
469
00:25:01,499 --> 00:25:04,999
Solve this case on behalf
of your queen and country.
470
00:25:05,132 --> 00:25:06,199
- I will.
- We will.
471
00:25:06,333 --> 00:25:07,566
But, Your Majesty...
472
00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:10,299
Sherlock Holmes has never failed us.
473
00:25:10,433 --> 00:25:12,366
The bold ingenuity of this crime
474
00:25:12,499 --> 00:25:14,533
calls me back to the profession
475
00:25:14,666 --> 00:25:16,399
of detecting like a siren song.
476
00:25:16,533 --> 00:25:18,253
I won't let anyone hurt you.
(CLEARS THROAT)
477
00:25:18,299 --> 00:25:20,199
Watson. To the morgue.
478
00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:22,700
Lestrade, clean this mess up now.
479
00:25:22,832 --> 00:25:25,232
The game is a-starting.
Yeah.
480
00:25:29,633 --> 00:25:32,733
HOLMES: Who is this copycat
pretending to be Moriarty?
481
00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:35,299
Finally, a problem worthy of my brain.
482
00:25:35,433 --> 00:25:37,132
This birthday cake is delicious.
483
00:25:37,266 --> 00:25:38,533
Did you get a chance to try it?
484
00:25:38,666 --> 00:25:40,266
No, there was a corpse in it.
Oh.
485
00:25:41,766 --> 00:25:44,533
(CLINKING)
(COUGHS)
486
00:25:44,666 --> 00:25:45,932
Watson?
487
00:25:46,066 --> 00:25:47,032
Oh.
488
00:25:47,166 --> 00:25:48,932
Oh, my goodness.
489
00:25:49,066 --> 00:25:50,599
Oh.
490
00:25:50,733 --> 00:25:51,666
Finders keepers.
491
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,132
Yeah.
492
00:25:54,266 --> 00:25:56,098
Are you sure you wouldn't
rather wait out here?
493
00:25:56,099 --> 00:25:57,732
The last time you were
in the morgue, you...
494
00:25:57,733 --> 00:26:01,766
Watson, I am a man
of stout constitution.
495
00:26:01,899 --> 00:26:04,700
Yes, of course. I just
thought, after the last time,
496
00:26:04,832 --> 00:26:06,832
with the...
497
00:26:06,965 --> 00:26:08,999
And the...
(SIGHS)
498
00:26:09,132 --> 00:26:11,199
Merely a bout of stomach influenza.
499
00:26:11,333 --> 00:26:12,566
Yes, but the time before that?
500
00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:14,899
Bad clams.
And before that?
501
00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:16,633
I shook hands with a prostitute.
502
00:26:16,766 --> 00:26:18,633
Yes.
503
00:26:18,766 --> 00:26:21,566
No, no.
Put that away.
504
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:26,700
I'm not some vaporous,
giggling, fainting maiden who...
505
00:26:33,166 --> 00:26:34,533
Oh, ye of little...
506
00:26:34,666 --> 00:26:36,033
(RETCHING)
507
00:26:36,099 --> 00:26:37,299
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
508
00:26:37,366 --> 00:26:38,600
(REPRESSED RETCHING)
509
00:26:38,732 --> 00:26:40,299
I think I'm starting to feel a bit...
510
00:26:40,433 --> 00:26:41,799
(EXHALES)
I wouldn't...
511
00:26:41,932 --> 00:26:43,832
Are you...
No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine.
512
00:26:43,966 --> 00:26:46,326
'Cause if you start to feel
sick, then I'll start to feel...
513
00:26:46,433 --> 00:26:48,099
(RETCHING)
514
00:26:49,366 --> 00:26:51,233
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
515
00:26:51,366 --> 00:26:53,966
Surely, I must be done.
Yes.
516
00:26:54,099 --> 00:26:55,899
Next to impossible to still...
517
00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:57,399
(REPRESSED RETCHING)
518
00:27:02,999 --> 00:27:04,366
There you are.
519
00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:06,266
All done.
Yes, there.
520
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,456
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
521
00:27:07,499 --> 00:27:09,450
Would you like some water?
Did you say water...
522
00:27:09,465 --> 00:27:12,133
(RETCHES)
Sorry. I'm sorry.
523
00:27:12,166 --> 00:27:14,265
Shall we begin the autopsy?
524
00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:16,466
Oh, thank goodness
these cleaning women are here
525
00:27:16,599 --> 00:27:17,839
to clean up this dreadful mess.
526
00:27:17,866 --> 00:27:19,532
Someone's made sick.
Oh.
527
00:27:19,666 --> 00:27:22,033
My dear Watson, these women
528
00:27:22,166 --> 00:27:23,966
are far too well-dressed
to be cleaning women.
529
00:27:24,033 --> 00:27:28,033
They're here to identify their
well-to-do husbands' bodies.
530
00:27:28,166 --> 00:27:29,566
Sorry for your loss.
531
00:27:29,699 --> 00:27:32,066
Thank you, but I am the doctor.
532
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,466
Look, Watson, grief has
scrambled her brain.
533
00:27:35,599 --> 00:27:37,432
Mmm.
She thinks she's a doctor.
534
00:27:37,566 --> 00:27:40,733
Fortunately, Miss,
there's a real doctor here
535
00:27:40,866 --> 00:27:42,265
who may help you.
536
00:27:42,399 --> 00:27:43,999
Would you like some heroin?
537
00:27:44,133 --> 00:27:46,166
Dr. Watson, I presume.
538
00:27:46,299 --> 00:27:48,432
And you must be Sherlock Holmes.
539
00:27:48,566 --> 00:27:51,099
Dr. Grace Hart of Boston.
540
00:27:51,332 --> 00:27:52,933
A woman doctor?
541
00:27:53,066 --> 00:27:55,766
- What times we live in.
- GRACE: (CHUCKLES) Yes.
542
00:27:55,899 --> 00:27:58,332
In America, we're much more progressive.
543
00:27:58,466 --> 00:28:01,200
I now make 30 cents for
every dollar a man earns.
544
00:28:01,365 --> 00:28:03,899
What does "doctor" mean in America?
545
00:28:04,033 --> 00:28:05,733
It means "doctor."
546
00:28:05,866 --> 00:28:07,766
You're Dr. G. Hart?
547
00:28:07,899 --> 00:28:09,632
Of Boston?
Yes.
548
00:28:09,766 --> 00:28:12,265
Holmes, we're in the
presence of a pioneer.
549
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:15,066
Dr. Hart's work with the use
of electroshock therapy
550
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,432
to cure female hysteria
is groundbreaking.
551
00:28:17,566 --> 00:28:21,432
Yes, I proved the higher the voltage,
the more demons are released.
552
00:28:21,566 --> 00:28:22,766
Well, of course.
553
00:28:22,899 --> 00:28:24,766
Some of my patients live
as long as a week.
554
00:28:24,899 --> 00:28:27,432
"Doctor"?
Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R?
555
00:28:27,566 --> 00:28:29,432
Yes.
(EXHALES)
556
00:28:29,566 --> 00:28:31,866
This is my aide, Millicent.
557
00:28:31,999 --> 00:28:35,733
She's very shy, but a
wonderful traveling companion.
558
00:28:35,866 --> 00:28:39,033
Shall we proceed to the examination?
(CHUCKLES)
559
00:28:39,166 --> 00:28:41,100
Please.
Our cadaver awaits.
560
00:28:41,232 --> 00:28:43,100
(REPRESSED RETCHING)
561
00:28:43,232 --> 00:28:44,566
No, no, no.
562
00:28:44,699 --> 00:28:46,599
Here.
563
00:28:46,733 --> 00:28:48,699
Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell.
564
00:28:48,833 --> 00:28:51,933
Perhaps you would rather stay
here and keep Millicent company.
565
00:28:55,133 --> 00:28:56,332
Sherlock Holmes.
566
00:28:56,466 --> 00:28:57,986
Charmed to meet...
(REPRESSED RETCHING)
567
00:29:00,066 --> 00:29:01,866
To meet you.
568
00:29:01,999 --> 00:29:03,999
GRACE: Millicent is the
subject of my research.
569
00:29:04,133 --> 00:29:06,166
She was raised by feral cats.
570
00:29:06,299 --> 00:29:08,432
She has the mental capacity
of a four-year-old,
571
00:29:08,566 --> 00:29:11,566
but it is my belief that, with
sufficient electroshock therapy,
572
00:29:11,699 --> 00:29:14,466
she can achieve the
intellect of a six-year-old.
573
00:29:14,599 --> 00:29:16,599
(SIGHS) We are truly in
the golden age of medicine.
574
00:29:16,699 --> 00:29:18,299
(CHUCKLES) There's
nothing left to learn.
575
00:29:18,332 --> 00:29:19,299
No.
576
00:29:21,265 --> 00:29:22,866
HOLMES:
What a creature you are.
577
00:29:24,066 --> 00:29:25,100
(CHUCKLES)
578
00:29:26,265 --> 00:29:27,599
(ONION CRUNCHING)
579
00:29:33,733 --> 00:29:36,799
You're devouring that onion
with such passion.
580
00:29:39,899 --> 00:29:41,399
It's strangely arousing.
581
00:29:42,999 --> 00:29:44,799
Dr. Watson,
I have always been taken
582
00:29:44,833 --> 00:29:47,799
by your unwavering devotion
to Mr. Holmes,
583
00:29:47,833 --> 00:29:51,765
but haven't you ever
considered something more?
584
00:29:52,466 --> 00:29:54,899
Perhaps a co-detective?
585
00:29:57,133 --> 00:29:58,733
He and I?
586
00:29:58,866 --> 00:29:59,933
Co-detectives?
587
00:30:00,066 --> 00:30:01,100
Yes.
588
00:30:01,232 --> 00:30:03,332
(LAUGHS)
Oh, the very idea!
589
00:30:03,466 --> 00:30:06,866
Uh...
Solving crimes together?
590
00:30:06,999 --> 00:30:09,200
Laughing and enjoying
the esprit de corps
591
00:30:09,332 --> 00:30:11,933
of two best friends
pursuing a noble cause!
592
00:30:12,066 --> 00:30:13,566
Madness. No, dear.
593
00:30:13,699 --> 00:30:16,133
No. No, not I.
594
00:30:17,432 --> 00:30:19,532
Not here.
595
00:30:19,666 --> 00:30:23,866
Not even in my most rapturous
moments of private fantasy.
596
00:30:28,365 --> 00:30:30,232
(SIGHS)
597
00:30:30,365 --> 00:30:33,265
Anyway, let's go clean this
cake-covered bastard, shall we?
598
00:30:37,166 --> 00:30:39,100
WATSON: The wonders
of modern medicine.
599
00:30:43,166 --> 00:30:45,432
Now, you're going to laugh,
600
00:30:45,566 --> 00:30:47,733
but I found the most important
tool of an autopsy is...
601
00:30:47,866 --> 00:30:48,933
Music.
602
00:30:50,365 --> 00:30:51,566
Yes.
603
00:30:51,699 --> 00:30:52,733
You, too?
604
00:30:55,365 --> 00:30:56,399
(CHUCKLES)
605
00:30:59,899 --> 00:31:02,499
MAN:
♪ Oh, my love ♪
606
00:31:02,632 --> 00:31:04,566
This one always gets me in the mood.
607
00:31:06,899 --> 00:31:08,599
So begins the dance.
608
00:31:17,332 --> 00:31:19,632
(CHUCKLES) You have some dribble. Hmm?
609
00:31:19,766 --> 00:31:22,033
Just a touch of dribble right...
(SNAPS)
610
00:31:22,166 --> 00:31:23,200
(GASPS)
611
00:31:28,699 --> 00:31:32,933
♪ And time goes by... ♪
612
00:31:33,066 --> 00:31:37,466
There is something so sensual about
forensic autopsy, isn't there?
613
00:32:00,966 --> 00:32:02,733
You are a delight.
614
00:32:02,866 --> 00:32:06,399
Your eyes say more
than words ever could.
615
00:32:06,532 --> 00:32:09,666
(DOOR OPENS)
(CHUCKLES, SNIFFING)
616
00:32:09,799 --> 00:32:11,066
Hmm.
(DOOR CLOSES)
617
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,532
The tincture of ammonia and scrotum.
618
00:32:15,666 --> 00:32:17,566
Hello, Inspector Lestrade.
619
00:32:19,766 --> 00:32:21,299
We have combed the manifests
620
00:32:21,432 --> 00:32:24,265
of every ship to set sail
for the Americas
621
00:32:24,399 --> 00:32:27,499
and found not a single Moriarty.
622
00:32:27,632 --> 00:32:30,733
Moriarty's too cunning
to use his own name.
623
00:32:30,866 --> 00:32:32,699
He's sailing under an alias.
624
00:32:32,833 --> 00:32:34,732
(BLADES CLINK) WATSON:
(PANTING) Ah, here we are.
625
00:32:34,733 --> 00:32:37,033
So, after a thorough...
626
00:32:37,166 --> 00:32:38,466
Very thorough.
627
00:32:38,599 --> 00:32:40,299
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
628
00:32:40,432 --> 00:32:42,399
Stop.
(CHUCKLES) No, you stop.
629
00:32:42,532 --> 00:32:45,200
(CLEARS THROAT)
Examination of the body...
630
00:32:45,332 --> 00:32:47,632
And I must say, Dr. Hart made some
631
00:32:47,766 --> 00:32:49,833
beautiful lateral incisions there.
632
00:32:49,966 --> 00:32:54,999
No, watching you flay the skin
from his face so gently!
633
00:32:55,133 --> 00:32:57,399
I would flay 1,000 faces for you.
And the way...
634
00:32:57,532 --> 00:32:59,399
Just tell me what you found!
635
00:32:59,532 --> 00:33:01,200
(CLEARS THROAT) Yes.
636
00:33:01,365 --> 00:33:02,866
Cause of death indeterminate.
637
00:33:02,999 --> 00:33:04,265
LESTRADE:
Indeterminate?
638
00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:05,666
What do you mean?
639
00:33:05,799 --> 00:33:08,066
It means he doesn't know.
640
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:09,899
- Proceed, Watson.
- WATSON: Yes.
641
00:33:10,033 --> 00:33:14,033
We found a freshly applied
tattoo of a cross
642
00:33:14,166 --> 00:33:16,866
and the numbers one and 20.
643
00:33:16,999 --> 00:33:19,100
I have the oddest feeling.
644
00:33:19,232 --> 00:33:21,532
It's like knowing, but the opposite.
645
00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:23,365
Meaning you haven't a clue.
646
00:33:23,499 --> 00:33:26,599
Who is this genius pretender
who's taken Moriarty's place,
647
00:33:26,733 --> 00:33:30,866
committing crimes exactly
the way he would? (SIGHS)
648
00:33:30,999 --> 00:33:32,899
HOLMES: A fantastic new case.
649
00:33:33,033 --> 00:33:35,265
I'm aroused
both mentally and physically.
650
00:33:35,399 --> 00:33:39,033
I was wondering, rather than
working beside you on this case,
651
00:33:39,166 --> 00:33:41,899
I might work with you as a sort of...
652
00:33:42,033 --> 00:33:44,100
Grace called it a "co-detective."
653
00:33:44,232 --> 00:33:48,100
One cannot simply just
make someone a detective.
654
00:33:48,232 --> 00:33:49,532
It must be earned.
655
00:33:49,666 --> 00:33:52,066
Well, I deduced you might say that,
656
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,599
which is why, when we arrive home,
657
00:33:54,733 --> 00:33:57,699
I propose a game of chess.
658
00:33:57,833 --> 00:33:59,232
If I should best you,
659
00:33:59,365 --> 00:34:01,265
then surely I possess
the mental power...
660
00:34:01,399 --> 00:34:03,833
Checkmate! Checkmate.
661
00:34:03,966 --> 00:34:06,332
What?
We haven't started yet.
662
00:34:06,466 --> 00:34:08,165
You would have opened
with the Queen's Gambit.
663
00:34:08,166 --> 00:34:10,265
Oh, indeed.
A reliable first move.
664
00:34:10,399 --> 00:34:12,065
I would have countered
with a Slav Defense.
665
00:34:12,066 --> 00:34:14,899
Oh! An audacious move.
Quite unexpected.
666
00:34:15,033 --> 00:34:17,432
You would have panicked,
thus exposing your queen.
667
00:34:17,566 --> 00:34:18,532
No, not my queen!
668
00:34:18,666 --> 00:34:20,066
Seeing your queen exposed
669
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,100
would have compelled you to defend her.
670
00:34:22,232 --> 00:34:25,133
Indeed. It is my duty
in chess as in life.
671
00:34:25,265 --> 00:34:27,265
Thereby neglecting my castle.
672
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:28,733
(GASPS)
673
00:34:29,532 --> 00:34:30,733
Checkmate.
674
00:34:32,033 --> 00:34:33,265
Perhaps another game?
675
00:34:33,399 --> 00:34:35,200
Rock-paper-scissors.
676
00:34:35,332 --> 00:34:37,699
Rock, rock, paper, paper,
scissors, paper,
677
00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:39,899
rock, scissors, paper, rock.
(GASPS)
678
00:34:40,766 --> 00:34:41,766
Dash it all!
679
00:34:41,899 --> 00:34:43,200
What about Battleship?
680
00:34:43,332 --> 00:34:45,866
HOLMES:
D-3, E-3, F-3, and G-3.
681
00:34:45,999 --> 00:34:48,100
WATSON:
Damn it, you've sunk my battleship.
682
00:34:48,232 --> 00:34:50,632
HOLMES: You're a good man, Watson,
683
00:34:50,766 --> 00:34:52,232
but you're not ready.
684
00:34:53,532 --> 00:34:54,733
But why?
685
00:34:54,866 --> 00:34:57,166
If you were ready, you'd know why.
686
00:35:07,966 --> 00:35:09,999
WATSON: Let the game begin.
687
00:35:10,133 --> 00:35:12,232
A piece for a piece.
688
00:35:12,365 --> 00:35:13,899
Two can play at that game.
689
00:35:28,933 --> 00:35:30,066
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
690
00:35:33,566 --> 00:35:34,599
Mmm.
691
00:35:34,733 --> 00:35:35,766
(GRUNTS)
692
00:35:37,332 --> 00:35:38,432
Peekaboo.
693
00:35:40,432 --> 00:35:41,432
(SNAPPING)
694
00:35:41,566 --> 00:35:44,232
Ah. Checkmate.
695
00:35:44,365 --> 00:35:46,632
And to the victor, the spoils.
696
00:35:47,265 --> 00:35:48,632
(GIGGLES)
697
00:35:48,766 --> 00:35:50,265
(SIGHS)
698
00:35:50,399 --> 00:35:51,865
(IN GRACE'S VOICE)
You'll never be co-detective.
699
00:35:51,866 --> 00:35:54,066
(SCREAMS, GASPING)
700
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,100
(HORSE NEIGHING)
701
00:35:56,232 --> 00:35:57,833
(CUP CLINKING)
702
00:35:57,966 --> 00:36:00,833
Watson, I'm near a breakthrough.
703
00:36:00,966 --> 00:36:03,399
My hypothesis is the true cause of death
704
00:36:03,532 --> 00:36:06,733
is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo.
705
00:36:06,866 --> 00:36:08,265
But I need your help.
706
00:36:10,866 --> 00:36:12,332
You want me to be co-detective?
707
00:36:12,466 --> 00:36:13,933
(LAUGHS) Mmm-mmm.
708
00:36:14,066 --> 00:36:16,933
I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson.
709
00:36:17,066 --> 00:36:18,232
Sorry for what?
710
00:36:18,365 --> 00:36:20,066
Mr. Holmes left me no choice.
711
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,532
May you rest in peace.
What's she on about?
712
00:36:22,666 --> 00:36:26,532
All will be clear in three, two, one.
713
00:36:26,666 --> 00:36:27,866
(GASPS)
714
00:36:28,933 --> 00:36:29,899
Excuse me. (COUGHS)
715
00:36:30,033 --> 00:36:31,733
I'll take that.
716
00:36:31,866 --> 00:36:33,826
(CHOKING) It's just something
caught in my throat.
717
00:36:33,833 --> 00:36:35,033
Oh, no.
718
00:36:35,166 --> 00:36:36,365
I poisoned you.
719
00:36:36,499 --> 00:36:37,766
(HOARSELY) Why?
720
00:36:37,899 --> 00:36:39,399
To test my theory.
(WHEEZING)
721
00:36:39,532 --> 00:36:41,033
Am I going to die?
722
00:36:41,166 --> 00:36:42,532
No, I have an antidote.
723
00:36:42,666 --> 00:36:44,933
Oh. But I need to see it play out.
724
00:36:45,733 --> 00:36:47,532
Now, let's see here.
725
00:36:47,666 --> 00:36:49,306
(WHEEZING) Redness around the mouth.
Good.
726
00:36:49,399 --> 00:36:50,599
(GASPING) Help me.
727
00:36:50,733 --> 00:36:53,100
You will have temporary brain damage.
728
00:36:54,966 --> 00:36:56,699
Wake up, Watson. Wake up.
(SQUEALS)
729
00:36:56,833 --> 00:36:58,999
We have work to do.
Watson.
730
00:36:59,133 --> 00:37:00,899
Who's Watson?
I'll kill him!
731
00:37:01,033 --> 00:37:02,200
You son of a bitch!
732
00:37:02,332 --> 00:37:03,372
(YELLS)
Violent aggression.
733
00:37:03,499 --> 00:37:05,365
Oh, please give me the antidote.
734
00:37:05,499 --> 00:37:06,699
Drama queen syndrome.
735
00:37:06,833 --> 00:37:09,033
Why am I doing this?
736
00:37:09,166 --> 00:37:10,332
Confused mime.
737
00:37:10,466 --> 00:37:13,332
Oh! Does this suit make me look fat?
738
00:37:13,466 --> 00:37:15,066
Body image dysmorphia.
739
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:16,899
(SCREAMS) My eyes!
740
00:37:17,033 --> 00:37:19,166
Sensitivity to light.
My eyes! It burns!
741
00:37:19,299 --> 00:37:20,566
(SCREAMING)
742
00:37:20,699 --> 00:37:23,200
Excruciating abdominal pain.
(GROANING)
743
00:37:23,332 --> 00:37:24,766
Yes, it's confirmed.
744
00:37:24,899 --> 00:37:26,866
It was poison.
Come, Watson.
745
00:37:26,999 --> 00:37:28,365
Let us not be late.
746
00:37:28,499 --> 00:37:29,899
(GROANING)
747
00:37:30,033 --> 00:37:31,299
Oh! Of course.
748
00:37:31,432 --> 00:37:32,466
Lactation.
749
00:37:32,599 --> 00:37:34,299
(GROANING)
750
00:37:34,432 --> 00:37:36,265
Why?
Come along, Watson.
751
00:37:36,399 --> 00:37:37,632
I'll explain in the cab.
752
00:37:40,866 --> 00:37:41,966
(COUGHS)
There we go.
753
00:37:42,100 --> 00:37:43,799
Oh, thank God for this antidote.
754
00:37:43,933 --> 00:37:46,299
I feel as though I've
completely recovered. (SIGHS)
755
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,566
Yes, you have.
756
00:37:48,699 --> 00:37:49,766
(WATSON SIGHS)
757
00:37:51,265 --> 00:37:52,399
There.
758
00:37:52,532 --> 00:37:53,632
So where are we going?
759
00:37:53,766 --> 00:37:55,766
The fact that the victim was poisoned
760
00:37:55,899 --> 00:37:59,766
suggests the killer lacked
physical strength to overpower him.
761
00:37:59,899 --> 00:38:03,100
The tattoos you examined
have an uneven quality.
762
00:38:03,232 --> 00:38:06,866
It leads me to believe that they
were drawn by a one-armed man.
763
00:38:06,999 --> 00:38:09,365
A one-armed man.
764
00:38:09,499 --> 00:38:10,766
Yes.
765
00:38:10,899 --> 00:38:12,833
A weak man who would use poison.
766
00:38:12,966 --> 00:38:17,766
There is only one one-armed
tattoo artist in all of London.
767
00:38:17,899 --> 00:38:21,066
The nefarious Gustav Klinger.
768
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,166
Dorset Street! And
don't spare the horses!
769
00:38:24,299 --> 00:38:25,666
(WHIP CRACKS)
Dorset Street.
770
00:38:25,799 --> 00:38:29,432
Home of drunkards, thieves,
and hairy, old whores.
771
00:38:29,566 --> 00:38:32,265
HOLMES: And, if my theory
is correct, the killer.
772
00:38:32,399 --> 00:38:35,699
(WATSON LAUGHS)
WOMAN: Hello, gorgeous.
773
00:38:35,833 --> 00:38:39,566
Though all is calm now,
we must be on highest alert.
774
00:38:39,699 --> 00:38:41,399
(CARRIAGE DRIVER GROANS)
775
00:38:41,532 --> 00:38:44,699
Shall we ask someone if they've
seen our one-armed Mr. Klinger?
776
00:38:44,833 --> 00:38:48,232
This neighborhood does not
welcome curious outsiders.
777
00:38:48,365 --> 00:38:50,200
Excuse me.
Have you the time?
778
00:38:50,332 --> 00:38:53,632
Not for you, outsider.
(YELLS IN PAIN)
779
00:38:53,766 --> 00:38:55,365
Merciful God.
780
00:38:55,499 --> 00:38:57,033
HOLMES: We must blend in.
781
00:38:57,166 --> 00:38:59,733
Fortunately, my time tripping the boards
782
00:38:59,866 --> 00:39:01,186
has made me a master of disguise.
783
00:39:01,232 --> 00:39:02,232
Yes.
784
00:39:08,966 --> 00:39:09,933
WATSON: You.
785
00:39:10,066 --> 00:39:11,699
What have you done with Sherlock?
786
00:39:11,833 --> 00:39:12,866
Why, Watson,
787
00:39:14,066 --> 00:39:15,365
I never left.
788
00:39:15,499 --> 00:39:17,332
(GASPS)
789
00:39:17,466 --> 00:39:19,100
Amazing.
Yes, I know.
790
00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,499
Yes, you've outdone yourself this time.
791
00:39:21,632 --> 00:39:23,365
Now...
792
00:39:23,499 --> 00:39:24,699
Huh?
No.
793
00:39:24,833 --> 00:39:26,232
Still me.
It's you?
794
00:39:26,365 --> 00:39:27,999
It's still Sherlock.
795
00:39:28,133 --> 00:39:30,033
All right.
Rest assured.
796
00:39:30,166 --> 00:39:31,432
It's very convincing.
797
00:39:31,566 --> 00:39:33,265
Now for your disguise.
798
00:39:33,399 --> 00:39:35,200
Oh, what will it be?
799
00:39:35,332 --> 00:39:36,899
(HOLMES LAUGHS)
800
00:39:37,033 --> 00:39:41,033
Yes. You, my friend,
801
00:39:41,166 --> 00:39:46,466
shall play a down-on-your-luck
horseshit salesman.
802
00:39:46,599 --> 00:39:48,699
Oh.
Yes.
803
00:39:48,833 --> 00:39:50,532
Yes. Yes.
804
00:39:50,666 --> 00:39:53,599
Come, Watson. We have a
one-armed killer to catch.
805
00:39:53,733 --> 00:39:55,265
Get into character.
806
00:39:55,399 --> 00:39:57,099
- WATSON: Horseshit for sale!
- HOLMES: There you go.
807
00:39:57,100 --> 00:39:59,199
- WATSON: Who will buy my horse's shit?
- MAN: I'll take some.
808
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,066
No one must know our true purpose. Mmm.
809
00:40:03,033 --> 00:40:04,532
What you toffs want?
810
00:40:04,666 --> 00:40:08,699
To buy a pint for any man
who can raise two hands.
811
00:40:08,833 --> 00:40:11,833
(MEN CHEERING)
812
00:40:11,966 --> 00:40:14,265
Every man has both arms.
813
00:40:14,399 --> 00:40:15,566
Klinger isn't here.
814
00:40:16,466 --> 00:40:18,499
Our journey continues.
815
00:40:18,632 --> 00:40:21,066
Blend in like a common oaf. Yes.
816
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,999
(LIVELY CHATTER, LAUGHTER)
817
00:40:23,133 --> 00:40:24,866
HOLMES: Keep drinking.
We need to fit in.
818
00:40:24,999 --> 00:40:26,033
Cheers.
819
00:40:26,166 --> 00:40:27,265
(MUSIC PLAYING)
820
00:40:27,399 --> 00:40:28,599
Cheers!
821
00:40:28,733 --> 00:40:30,499
More, more, more!
(LAUGHING)
822
00:40:32,466 --> 00:40:34,432
(LAUGHING)
(ALL CHEERING)
823
00:40:34,566 --> 00:40:36,066
Oi! Oi! Oi!
824
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,799
(RHYTHMIC TAPPING)
825
00:40:39,933 --> 00:40:41,532
(BOTH BARKING)
826
00:40:41,666 --> 00:40:42,899
(HOWLS)
827
00:40:43,033 --> 00:40:44,399
They have boxing here.
(EXCLAIMS)
828
00:40:44,532 --> 00:40:45,933
WATSON: I don't care if he's small!
829
00:40:46,066 --> 00:40:47,599
- WATSON: Kill!
- WOMAN: Come on, fight!
830
00:40:50,166 --> 00:40:51,598
Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger?
831
00:40:51,599 --> 00:40:53,733
Who cares about Klinger?
Exactly!
832
00:40:53,866 --> 00:40:55,466
(GROANS, SCREAMS)
833
00:40:56,499 --> 00:40:57,466
(SCREAMS)
834
00:40:57,599 --> 00:40:58,766
Release the child!
835
00:40:58,899 --> 00:41:00,699
Let go of that boy!
I want him dead!
836
00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:02,399
WATSON: Sweet river of piss.
837
00:41:02,532 --> 00:41:04,733
(BOTH SIGH)
838
00:41:04,866 --> 00:41:06,232
You have real force there.
839
00:41:07,499 --> 00:41:08,866
Arc of stream.
840
00:41:08,999 --> 00:41:10,365
Direction of wind.
841
00:41:10,499 --> 00:41:12,265
Compensate for shy penis.
842
00:41:12,399 --> 00:41:14,699
Avoid splash on shoes.
843
00:41:14,833 --> 00:41:16,733
(GRUNTS)
And release fluids.
844
00:41:16,866 --> 00:41:18,365
Oh, my goodness.
845
00:41:18,499 --> 00:41:21,866
Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants.
846
00:41:21,999 --> 00:41:23,532
You really are a genius.
847
00:41:23,666 --> 00:41:25,933
Oh, watch it.
Oh, sorry.
848
00:41:26,066 --> 00:41:27,899
WATSON: I should like
to send a telegram.
849
00:41:28,699 --> 00:41:30,365
Grace. Stop.
850
00:41:32,566 --> 00:41:34,833
Are you awake? Stop.
(HOLMES CHUCKLING)
851
00:41:37,332 --> 00:41:39,599
Uh, you're such a pretty doctor lady.
852
00:41:39,733 --> 00:41:41,399
Ooh!
(WATSON CHUCKLES)
853
00:41:41,532 --> 00:41:43,133
Are you quite sure this is a good idea?
854
00:41:43,265 --> 00:41:44,766
(SLURRING)
This is wonderful.
855
00:41:44,899 --> 00:41:47,933
The combination of the late
hour and your drunkenness
856
00:41:48,066 --> 00:41:51,432
allows for communication
of exceptional honesty.
857
00:41:51,566 --> 00:41:52,532
Quite right.
858
00:41:52,666 --> 00:41:54,299
I will call it an intoxigram.
859
00:41:54,432 --> 00:41:57,200
And no one shall ever
regret sending one.
860
00:41:57,332 --> 00:42:00,033
Now, lay bare the fruits
of your inebriation.
861
00:42:00,166 --> 00:42:01,766
Ask her what she's wearing.
862
00:42:01,899 --> 00:42:04,200
What are you wearing?
Stop.
863
00:42:04,232 --> 00:42:04,966
Bloomers?
864
00:42:04,999 --> 00:42:06,733
A brassiere?
(CHUCKLES)
865
00:42:06,766 --> 00:42:09,133
I'd wager you'd look good in anything.
866
00:42:09,266 --> 00:42:10,532
Wonderful.
Stop.
867
00:42:10,566 --> 00:42:12,532
Shall I ask what Millie
thinks about you?
868
00:42:12,666 --> 00:42:14,432
Um...
869
00:42:14,566 --> 00:42:16,733
(SIGHS) I don't care.
Sure. Why not?
870
00:42:16,866 --> 00:42:18,999
What does Millie think of Sherlock?
871
00:42:19,133 --> 00:42:22,733
Does Millie ever drip wax over her body?
872
00:42:22,866 --> 00:42:25,365
Hot wax. Stop.
873
00:42:25,499 --> 00:42:27,165
- Okay. That's enough.
- WATSON: Yeah, I think so.
874
00:42:27,166 --> 00:42:40,346
_ _ _
875
00:42:40,366 --> 00:42:44,300
Now show her how she
makes you feel. Huh?
876
00:42:44,432 --> 00:42:46,033
Just go ahead.
Display it.
877
00:42:46,166 --> 00:42:47,233
(UNZIPS PANTS)
878
00:42:47,366 --> 00:42:48,300
There.
(THUD ON TABLE)
879
00:42:48,301 --> 00:42:53,001
_ _ _
880
00:42:53,032 --> 00:42:54,533
Telegraph a picture of this.
881
00:42:54,666 --> 00:42:57,699
And make sure you get
the banger and the beans.
882
00:42:57,833 --> 00:42:59,332
Focus on the mushroom.
883
00:42:59,466 --> 00:43:02,000
Are you positive I shan't
regret this in the morning?
884
00:43:02,132 --> 00:43:03,933
(CHUCKLES)
You absolutely will.
885
00:43:04,065 --> 00:43:05,566
Silence, you!
Say it again.
886
00:43:05,699 --> 00:43:06,900
Say it again. I dare you. Oh!
887
00:43:07,032 --> 00:43:08,599
Please say it.
Please say it again.
888
00:43:08,733 --> 00:43:10,198
Do you think you would be
the first man I've killed?
889
00:43:10,199 --> 00:43:12,032
I have the penis of a baby doll.
890
00:43:15,566 --> 00:43:17,099
It's just a statement of fact.
891
00:43:19,065 --> 00:43:20,232
(ROOSTER CROWS)
892
00:43:20,366 --> 00:43:22,032
(HOLMES AND WATSON CHUCKLING)
893
00:43:22,165 --> 00:43:23,900
Oh, well, Watson,
894
00:43:24,032 --> 00:43:26,399
after a night of drinking,
I could eat a whole pie.
895
00:43:26,533 --> 00:43:28,666
WATSON: Oh, no, it's
cakes for me, my friend.
896
00:43:28,799 --> 00:43:30,232
Ah! Cakes, indeed!
897
00:43:30,366 --> 00:43:34,499
Yes. Yes, cakes stacked on cakes.
898
00:43:34,633 --> 00:43:36,499
We should open a restaurant called
899
00:43:36,633 --> 00:43:40,399
the International House of
Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes.
900
00:43:40,533 --> 00:43:43,533
(CHUCKLING) Yes, and you can only
eat there after a night of drinking.
901
00:43:43,666 --> 00:43:45,765
Well, speaking of the night,
I fear it's a night wasted.
902
00:43:45,766 --> 00:43:47,499
No sign of Klinger anywhere. Mmm.
903
00:43:48,666 --> 00:43:50,466
Not so fast, Watson.
904
00:43:50,599 --> 00:43:53,399
Look at those two men and their tattoos.
905
00:43:53,533 --> 00:43:55,032
I don't understand.
906
00:43:55,165 --> 00:43:57,533
We haven't been able
to find the tattoo artist.
907
00:43:57,666 --> 00:44:00,900
Perhaps we should follow the tattoos.
908
00:44:01,032 --> 00:44:03,332
(GRUNTING, INDISTINCT CHATTER)
909
00:44:04,566 --> 00:44:05,866
WATSON: A gymnasium?
910
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,933
You really think Klinger
would be here, Holmes?
911
00:44:08,065 --> 00:44:11,032
Look alive, Watson.
He could be anywhere.
912
00:44:11,165 --> 00:44:13,599
TRAINER: Three, two, one.
913
00:44:13,733 --> 00:44:16,266
Pick it up. Pick it up.
That's it.
914
00:44:16,399 --> 00:44:18,599
INSTRUCTOR: Out with the
bad air, in with the good.
915
00:44:18,733 --> 00:44:20,266
WATSON: Look at these health nuts.
916
00:44:20,399 --> 00:44:22,232
(MEN COUGHING)
INSTRUCTOR: Big deep breath.
917
00:44:22,366 --> 00:44:24,064
WATSON: Obsessed with the
purifying effects of smoke.
918
00:44:24,065 --> 00:44:27,666
INSTRUCTOR: All right, good
lungful of the cleansing vapors.
919
00:44:27,799 --> 00:44:30,466
(EXHALES) I don't think
he's here, Holmes.
920
00:44:30,599 --> 00:44:32,666
(DOOR OPENS)
MAN: Hello, hello, hello!
921
00:44:32,799 --> 00:44:34,633
Sherlock Holmes.
922
00:44:34,766 --> 00:44:36,199
HOLMES: Ah.
923
00:44:36,332 --> 00:44:37,966
You must be Gustav Klinger,
924
00:44:38,099 --> 00:44:41,132
the one-armed tattoo
artist of Dorset Street.
925
00:44:41,266 --> 00:44:43,065
Looks like it.
926
00:44:43,199 --> 00:44:45,000
(WHIRRING)
927
00:44:45,132 --> 00:44:48,499
Gustav Klinger, I accuse you
of poisoning Jimmy Gruber
928
00:44:48,633 --> 00:44:50,699
and baking him into a large cake.
929
00:44:50,833 --> 00:44:55,232
A deliciously large cake
that I baked myself.
930
00:44:55,366 --> 00:44:56,799
Oh, please.
931
00:44:56,933 --> 00:44:58,232
How dare you!
932
00:44:58,366 --> 00:45:00,533
You did not bake that cake.
933
00:45:00,666 --> 00:45:03,165
Not only did I bake it.
I decorated it, too.
934
00:45:03,299 --> 00:45:04,399
Impossible.
935
00:45:04,533 --> 00:45:05,773
It's got a frosting attachment.
936
00:45:05,833 --> 00:45:07,533
You're trying to tell me
937
00:45:07,666 --> 00:45:10,199
that a one-armed man made a
professional, bakery-quality cake
938
00:45:10,332 --> 00:45:11,499
fit for the Queen.
Watson.
939
00:45:11,633 --> 00:45:13,833
It's just... It...
It doesn't matter
940
00:45:13,966 --> 00:45:15,698
if he baked the cake or not.
It really bugs... I know.
941
00:45:15,699 --> 00:45:16,999
- It really...
- WATSON: Best cake I've ever eaten.
942
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,032
I did bake the cake.
All right, fine.
943
00:45:19,165 --> 00:45:20,699
You "baked the cake."
944
00:45:20,833 --> 00:45:23,199
I didn't "bake a cake."
945
00:45:24,065 --> 00:45:25,099
I baked a cake.
946
00:45:25,232 --> 00:45:26,566
Then you admit it.
947
00:45:26,699 --> 00:45:28,366
You killed Jimmy Gruber.
948
00:45:28,499 --> 00:45:30,466
KLINGER: And what if I did, Mr. Holmes?
949
00:45:30,599 --> 00:45:33,566
It's not as if you're in a
position to do anything about it.
950
00:45:33,699 --> 00:45:36,533
He's right, Sherlock Holmes.
951
00:45:36,666 --> 00:45:40,132
You've walked straight into our trap.
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
952
00:45:40,266 --> 00:45:42,132
Moriarty.
Quiet, Watson.
953
00:45:42,266 --> 00:45:46,000
In the name of the queen,
I arrest you both.
954
00:45:46,132 --> 00:45:48,366
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, come, Sherlock.
955
00:45:48,499 --> 00:45:50,199
You don't think it'll be that easy.
956
00:45:50,332 --> 00:45:53,366
You won't be leaving
here alive, Mr. Holmes,
957
00:45:53,499 --> 00:45:57,966
unless, of course, you fight
your way out of the Hexagon.
958
00:45:58,099 --> 00:46:00,366
(CROWD MURMURING)
959
00:46:01,499 --> 00:46:02,699
Where are you pointing?
960
00:46:04,132 --> 00:46:05,099
There.
961
00:46:05,232 --> 00:46:06,332
This way or that way?
962
00:46:07,132 --> 00:46:08,332
There.
963
00:46:08,466 --> 00:46:09,746
- HOLMES: Oh.
- KLINGER: The Hexagon.
964
00:46:09,866 --> 00:46:11,900
But I won't fight a one-armed man.
965
00:46:12,032 --> 00:46:14,866
Oh, no. I've got this,
Sherlock. (SNIFFS)
966
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,432
It won't be the first time I've
fought a cripple. (CHUCKLES)
967
00:46:17,566 --> 00:46:18,666
Oh, uh...
968
00:46:18,799 --> 00:46:20,199
You won't be fighting me.
969
00:46:20,332 --> 00:46:22,366
Nah, nah, nah.
970
00:46:22,499 --> 00:46:24,165
You're fighting my mate.
971
00:46:24,299 --> 00:46:26,165
Meet Brawn.
972
00:46:28,533 --> 00:46:29,833
(STRAINS)
(THUDS)
973
00:46:44,032 --> 00:46:45,633
Oh, come on.
974
00:46:45,766 --> 00:46:47,065
(MORIARTY LAUGHS MENACINGLY)
975
00:46:47,199 --> 00:46:48,466
Well, I call bullshit.
976
00:46:48,599 --> 00:46:52,299
(BELL DINGING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
977
00:46:52,432 --> 00:46:54,833
I fear it might be suicide
to fight this man.
978
00:46:54,966 --> 00:46:57,165
I think it's mostly psychological.
979
00:46:57,299 --> 00:46:58,399
(ROARING)
980
00:46:59,332 --> 00:47:00,799
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
981
00:47:00,933 --> 00:47:03,000
I'm psychologically
scared shitless right now.
982
00:47:03,132 --> 00:47:05,599
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Fight! Fight! Fight!
983
00:47:05,733 --> 00:47:07,266
(ROARING)
984
00:47:08,266 --> 00:47:10,032
Okay. Okay.
985
00:47:10,165 --> 00:47:13,000
But if you want to watch
this fight, you have to pay.
986
00:47:13,132 --> 00:47:14,766
You have to pay to view it.
987
00:47:14,900 --> 00:47:17,833
(CROWD GROANING)
This is a pay-to-view-it fight.
988
00:47:17,966 --> 00:47:19,933
WATSON: Yes, I know
it seems a bit unfair,
989
00:47:20,065 --> 00:47:21,733
but if you split it among a few friends
990
00:47:21,866 --> 00:47:23,432
and buy some beers, some pizza,
991
00:47:23,566 --> 00:47:25,733
it could be a fun thing to do
with the guys.
992
00:47:25,866 --> 00:47:30,533
It's time!
993
00:47:30,666 --> 00:47:33,666
Let's get ready to scuffle!
(ALL CHEERING)
994
00:47:33,799 --> 00:47:35,199
(BELL DINGING)
995
00:47:35,332 --> 00:47:37,499
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Scuffle! Scuffle! Scuffle!
996
00:47:37,633 --> 00:47:38,633
MAN: Nice!
997
00:47:38,766 --> 00:47:40,000
HOLMES:
What is she doing here?
998
00:47:40,132 --> 00:47:41,566
It's 6:00 in the morning.
999
00:47:41,699 --> 00:47:43,232
Holmes, I don't know why...
1000
00:47:43,366 --> 00:47:44,966
Yes... but that really jacked me up.
1001
00:47:45,099 --> 00:47:46,900
Ah! I think I might stand a chance.
1002
00:47:47,032 --> 00:47:48,833
It reminds me of Istanbul.
1003
00:47:48,966 --> 00:47:51,633
Exactly. And what
did I beat in Istanbul?
1004
00:47:51,766 --> 00:47:53,366
Syphilis!
Syphilis! Exactly.
1005
00:47:53,499 --> 00:47:54,733
Go get him.
All right.
1006
00:47:55,499 --> 00:47:56,499
Come on!
1007
00:47:56,633 --> 00:47:57,966
"Come on"?
You come on!
1008
00:47:58,099 --> 00:47:59,499
You!
1009
00:47:59,633 --> 00:48:01,032
You mountain of flesh.
1010
00:48:01,165 --> 00:48:03,165
(SHOUTING)
1011
00:48:03,299 --> 00:48:04,866
(SCREAMING)
1012
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:06,766
(ROARING)
1013
00:48:06,900 --> 00:48:09,933
(CROWD CHEERING)
1014
00:48:10,065 --> 00:48:12,165
Your turn, Mr. Holmes!
1015
00:48:12,299 --> 00:48:14,666
Yes, I know.
Of course I'm next.
1016
00:48:19,666 --> 00:48:22,000
HOLMES:
Opponent, 350 pounds.
1017
00:48:22,132 --> 00:48:23,533
Use pipe.
1018
00:48:23,666 --> 00:48:26,266
Create diversion to distract his gaze.
1019
00:48:28,032 --> 00:48:30,000
Plan of attack,
1020
00:48:30,132 --> 00:48:32,866
surprise first blow to center of mass.
1021
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,666
Gracefully dodge counterpunch.
1022
00:48:35,799 --> 00:48:37,499
Employ visual impairment.
1023
00:48:37,633 --> 00:48:38,900
(SCREAMS)
1024
00:48:39,032 --> 00:48:41,466
Easily duck wild swing.
1025
00:48:41,599 --> 00:48:44,733
Utilize Tibetan ototoxic method
1026
00:48:44,866 --> 00:48:46,466
to disrupt his balance.
(GROANING)
1027
00:48:48,232 --> 00:48:49,399
Grab facial hair.
1028
00:48:49,533 --> 00:48:51,165
Use for leverage.
1029
00:48:51,299 --> 00:48:53,199
Okinawan beard flip.
1030
00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:57,399
Enemy incapacitated.
1031
00:48:58,165 --> 00:48:59,232
Catch pipe.
1032
00:49:00,432 --> 00:49:02,666
Revel in crowd's adulation.
1033
00:49:04,165 --> 00:49:07,299
(CROWD CHEERING)
1034
00:49:14,733 --> 00:49:16,599
(HOLMES GRUNTS)
(CHUCKLING)
1035
00:49:18,165 --> 00:49:19,399
Oh, no.
1036
00:49:19,533 --> 00:49:20,900
(WATSON YELLS)
(GROANS)
1037
00:49:21,065 --> 00:49:22,499
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
1038
00:49:22,633 --> 00:49:23,666
Good show, Watson.
1039
00:49:23,799 --> 00:49:25,332
Thank you, Holmes.
(YELLS)
1040
00:49:25,466 --> 00:49:26,866
(GROANS)
1041
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,666
Break his pelvis.
1042
00:49:28,799 --> 00:49:30,900
(GROANS)
Go! Again!
1043
00:49:31,032 --> 00:49:32,900
Club him like a baby seal.
1044
00:49:33,499 --> 00:49:34,533
(GRUNTS)
1045
00:49:37,065 --> 00:49:38,366
(WATSON PANTING)
1046
00:49:38,499 --> 00:49:40,299
What have I done?
No, you're fine.
1047
00:49:40,432 --> 00:49:42,065
Okay.
Now,
1048
00:49:42,199 --> 00:49:45,332
tell us everything you know
about the plot to kill the Queen.
1049
00:49:46,199 --> 00:49:47,366
All right.
1050
00:49:47,499 --> 00:49:49,165
I'll tell you everything I know.
1051
00:49:51,332 --> 00:49:52,833
I've been stabbed in the back.
1052
00:49:55,566 --> 00:49:56,699
Meaning?
Oh.
1053
00:49:56,833 --> 00:49:58,499
Metaphorically speaking, yes.
1054
00:49:58,633 --> 00:50:01,399
No, I've literally
been stabbed in the back...
1055
00:50:01,533 --> 00:50:03,633
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
(GASPS)
1056
00:50:03,766 --> 00:50:05,032
Holmes, he's escaping.
1057
00:50:07,666 --> 00:50:08,699
(GROANS)
1058
00:50:10,399 --> 00:50:12,000
(GASPING)
1059
00:50:14,032 --> 00:50:15,599
So Moriarty is in England.
1060
00:50:15,733 --> 00:50:18,766
(SIGHS) Watson.
Does it look like Moriarty
1061
00:50:18,900 --> 00:50:20,766
now?
(GROANS)
1062
00:50:20,900 --> 00:50:22,199
Who is this?
1063
00:50:22,332 --> 00:50:24,266
Jacob Musgrave,
1064
00:50:24,399 --> 00:50:26,499
as I've been saying all along.
1065
00:50:26,633 --> 00:50:28,699
A man who looks so much like Moriarty,
1066
00:50:28,833 --> 00:50:31,366
a simple beard fooled almost everyone.
1067
00:50:31,499 --> 00:50:32,819
(WHIMPERS) All right, I admit it.
1068
00:50:32,900 --> 00:50:34,699
I am no Moriarty.
1069
00:50:34,833 --> 00:50:36,332
My name is Musgrave,
1070
00:50:36,466 --> 00:50:37,766
just like he says.
1071
00:50:39,165 --> 00:50:41,099
Wow.
HOLMES: Who put you up to this?
1072
00:50:41,232 --> 00:50:44,399
Oh, they've been leaving me
notes telling me what to do.
1073
00:50:44,533 --> 00:50:45,633
I don't know who it is.
1074
00:50:45,766 --> 00:50:48,032
I swear, I'm just a simple wanker.
1075
00:50:48,165 --> 00:50:50,032
He's telling the truth, Watson.
1076
00:50:50,165 --> 00:50:52,533
This morally deficient creature,
1077
00:50:52,666 --> 00:50:56,232
this awful, awful excuse
for a man, this...
1078
00:50:56,366 --> 00:50:58,633
Bag of rubbish.
Yes, good one, Watson. Yes.
1079
00:50:58,766 --> 00:51:00,466
Come on, guys. I'm dying.
1080
00:51:00,599 --> 00:51:03,032
These are the wages of wanking, you see?
1081
00:51:03,165 --> 00:51:05,232
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
1082
00:51:05,366 --> 00:51:06,366
Just a...
1083
00:51:06,499 --> 00:51:07,566
Don't wank on us.
1084
00:51:09,132 --> 00:51:10,966
A coal.
1085
00:51:11,099 --> 00:51:13,566
Said you were to take it to Newcastle.
1086
00:51:15,366 --> 00:51:17,566
- A lump of coal?
- MUSGRAVE: Yeah.
1087
00:51:17,699 --> 00:51:18,866
To Newcastle?
1088
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,833
Newcastle by the river?
1089
00:51:20,966 --> 00:51:23,733
HOLMES: Perhaps this clue will
lead us to the real mastermind.
1090
00:51:23,866 --> 00:51:24,833
Time is running out.
1091
00:51:24,966 --> 00:51:26,165
We must save the Queen.
1092
00:51:26,299 --> 00:51:27,599
Good luck to you.
1093
00:51:27,733 --> 00:51:29,232
(EXHALES)
1094
00:51:29,366 --> 00:51:31,266
(LONDON TOWN BY DUB PISTOLS PLAYS)
1095
00:51:31,399 --> 00:51:33,533
♪ While speeding to London town
1096
00:51:33,666 --> 00:51:36,232
♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down
1097
00:51:36,366 --> 00:51:38,866
♪ Keep smiling and forget that frown
1098
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,366
♪ Little reason to keep that crown
1099
00:51:41,499 --> 00:51:44,032
♪ While speeding to London town
1100
00:51:44,165 --> 00:51:46,799
♪ Bad man he said we gotta get down
1101
00:51:46,933 --> 00:51:49,299
♪ Keep smiling
and forget that frown... ♪
1102
00:51:49,432 --> 00:51:52,466
HOLMES: Bring these coals to Newcastle.
1103
00:51:52,599 --> 00:51:54,299
Coals.
1104
00:51:54,432 --> 00:51:56,566
Coals. "Sherlock."
1105
00:51:56,699 --> 00:51:59,633
"Three days until I rewrite
history and kill the queen."
1106
00:51:59,766 --> 00:52:01,532
GRACE: Millicent is the
subject of my research.
1107
00:52:01,533 --> 00:52:03,366
HOLMES: Coals to Newcastle.
1108
00:52:03,499 --> 00:52:05,665
Talking to you, it's as if our
brains are sharing a tandem bicycle.
1109
00:52:05,666 --> 00:52:07,499
GRACE: She has the mental capacity of...
1110
00:52:07,633 --> 00:52:09,131
(CACKLES) HOLMES: Now you
have but three days...
1111
00:52:09,132 --> 00:52:10,533
Bring these coals to Newcastle.
1112
00:52:10,666 --> 00:52:13,499
♪ Co-detective Sherlock and me ♪
1113
00:52:13,633 --> 00:52:14,733
Uh... Oh.
1114
00:52:14,866 --> 00:52:16,900
Good morning, Sherlock.
1115
00:52:17,032 --> 00:52:18,533
What's happened?
Well, I'm...
1116
00:52:18,666 --> 00:52:20,866
I'm trying to untangle
this baffling clue.
1117
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:22,232
Ah.
1118
00:52:22,366 --> 00:52:24,566
Ever since I met Millie,
my mind is muddled.
1119
00:52:24,699 --> 00:52:26,666
Do you suppose she's infected me
1120
00:52:26,799 --> 00:52:28,766
with some sort of a disease?
1121
00:52:28,900 --> 00:52:29,866
Disease?
1122
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:31,533
My heart races.
1123
00:52:31,666 --> 00:52:32,933
My palms sweat.
1124
00:52:33,065 --> 00:52:34,699
I have all these feelings.
1125
00:52:34,833 --> 00:52:37,566
Holmes, get a hold of yourself.
You're not sick.
1126
00:52:38,699 --> 00:52:39,733
You're in love.
1127
00:52:39,866 --> 00:52:41,833
Love? Horseradish!
1128
00:52:41,966 --> 00:52:43,165
I'm a man of logic.
1129
00:52:43,299 --> 00:52:44,933
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
1130
00:52:45,065 --> 00:52:49,466
In fact, I, too, have been taken
by this malady called love.
1131
00:52:49,599 --> 00:52:52,566
Grace has asked me to call upon her.
1132
00:52:52,699 --> 00:52:54,366
Apparently,
1133
00:52:54,499 --> 00:52:57,332
I sent her quite the charming
telegram last night.
1134
00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:58,733
(CHUCKLING)
1135
00:52:58,866 --> 00:53:00,699
Watson, you've cracked it.
1136
00:53:00,833 --> 00:53:02,165
Have I? Co-detective?
1137
00:53:02,299 --> 00:53:03,466
Think, Watson.
Uh...
1138
00:53:03,599 --> 00:53:05,000
Is there a single logical reason
1139
00:53:05,132 --> 00:53:07,499
for Grace to want to seek your company?
1140
00:53:07,633 --> 00:53:09,000
Romantic interest?
1141
00:53:09,132 --> 00:53:10,733
No.
My eyes?
1142
00:53:10,866 --> 00:53:11,966
It's all a ruse.
1143
00:53:12,099 --> 00:53:14,065
Moriarty escapes to America,
1144
00:53:14,199 --> 00:53:17,065
and then these two
American women show up?
1145
00:53:17,199 --> 00:53:20,833
Sorry, you're saying
Grace is the killer?
1146
00:53:20,966 --> 00:53:23,599
Of course she's not the killer.
She's an American.
1147
00:53:23,733 --> 00:53:26,000
She would have used a gun.
Ah. Hmm.
1148
00:53:26,132 --> 00:53:29,000
No, Grace is working for the killer.
1149
00:53:29,132 --> 00:53:30,099
Oh.
1150
00:53:30,232 --> 00:53:32,065
We shall seduce her,
1151
00:53:32,199 --> 00:53:34,199
and that will lead us to the murderer.
1152
00:53:34,332 --> 00:53:35,699
Mmm-hmm.
1153
00:53:36,233 --> 00:53:37,050
Yes.
1154
00:53:37,051 --> 00:54:29,051
_ _ _
1155
00:54:30,052 --> 00:54:31,300
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
1156
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:34,480
Who could that be at this early hour?
1157
00:54:34,533 --> 00:54:36,199
(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
Enter.
1158
00:54:42,633 --> 00:54:44,399
WATSON: Her Majesty.
(GASPS)
1159
00:54:45,533 --> 00:54:48,366
Have you come to see me?
1160
00:54:48,499 --> 00:54:51,366
Mr. Holmes, I have
but two days left to live
1161
00:54:51,499 --> 00:54:53,466
unless you can solve this case.
1162
00:54:54,366 --> 00:54:57,399
My queen, do come in.
1163
00:54:57,533 --> 00:54:59,833
I shall speak with
Mr. Holmes in private.
1164
00:55:02,699 --> 00:55:04,132
Your Majesty.
1165
00:55:04,266 --> 00:55:05,799
You'll be happy to know
1166
00:55:05,933 --> 00:55:08,633
that, just this morning
we discovered a new clue.
1167
00:55:08,766 --> 00:55:10,533
This chunk of coal.
1168
00:55:10,666 --> 00:55:11,900
What does it mean?
1169
00:55:12,032 --> 00:55:13,566
It's quite a mystery.
1170
00:55:13,699 --> 00:55:15,432
(GIGGLES)
1171
00:55:15,566 --> 00:55:17,232
Is this going to be a problem?
1172
00:55:17,366 --> 00:55:18,699
Watson.
1173
00:55:18,833 --> 00:55:20,733
Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea.
1174
00:55:20,866 --> 00:55:22,266
Oh, yes, of course.
1175
00:55:23,833 --> 00:55:27,199
Mr. Holmes, the empire
is depending on you.
1176
00:55:27,332 --> 00:55:30,866
Your Majesty, I now
suspect two American women
1177
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:32,900
are somehow involved in this plot.
1178
00:55:34,032 --> 00:55:35,032
Sorry.
1179
00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:37,366
Your Majesty,
1180
00:55:37,499 --> 00:55:40,366
do you think I could have
a picture of us together?
1181
00:55:40,499 --> 00:55:42,566
But who is going to take the photograph?
1182
00:55:42,699 --> 00:55:44,566
Oh, no, I'll take the photograph.
1183
00:55:44,699 --> 00:55:47,132
You see, it's a type
of a self-photograph.
1184
00:55:47,266 --> 00:55:49,599
I can take it, and I will be in it also.
1185
00:55:49,733 --> 00:55:52,533
You know what? I find, to take
the most attractive photographs,
1186
00:55:52,666 --> 00:55:54,199
you need to purse your lips together
1187
00:55:54,332 --> 00:55:56,366
like a duck-billed platypus.
1188
00:55:56,499 --> 00:55:58,466
Platypus face.
Chins up.
1189
00:56:00,499 --> 00:56:02,866
Hey.
Hey. Hey, girl.
1190
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:04,733
You know, maybe over by the window.
1191
00:56:04,866 --> 00:56:06,698
The lighting's much better there.
Yes, yes, capital idea.
1192
00:56:06,699 --> 00:56:08,199
(GROANS)
(THUDDING)
1193
00:56:08,332 --> 00:56:10,466
Oh, God. Ma'am, ma'am.
HOLMES: Oh! Oh!
1194
00:56:10,599 --> 00:56:12,299
Ma'am! Your Majesty.
1195
00:56:12,432 --> 00:56:14,366
Oh, ma'am. Ma'am.
1196
00:56:14,499 --> 00:56:15,566
Oh, dear.
1197
00:56:16,866 --> 00:56:18,099
Tell me, Watson.
1198
00:56:19,699 --> 00:56:21,000
She's dead.
1199
00:56:22,666 --> 00:56:23,933
HOLMES: Dear God.
1200
00:56:24,065 --> 00:56:25,933
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1201
00:56:26,065 --> 00:56:28,232
We've killed the Queen.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1202
00:56:28,366 --> 00:56:30,566
Are you all right, Your Majesty?
1203
00:56:30,699 --> 00:56:31,900
(IMITATING THE QUEEN)
Yes.
1204
00:56:32,032 --> 00:56:33,599
- Yes, I'm all right.
- Are you sure?
1205
00:56:33,733 --> 00:56:35,365
(IMITATING THE QUEEN)
Yes, I'm quite fine.
1206
00:56:35,366 --> 00:56:37,766
My lover, John Watson,
will take good care of me.
1207
00:56:39,966 --> 00:56:42,266
(WHISPERS) Why did you
want that photograph?
1208
00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:44,599
I didn't want the photograph.
1209
00:56:44,733 --> 00:56:46,566
What are you talking about?
1210
00:56:46,699 --> 00:56:48,466
Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson?
1211
00:56:48,599 --> 00:56:50,399
(IMITATING THE QUEEN)
I'm very, very safe.
1212
00:56:50,533 --> 00:56:53,299
(WHISPERING) She's so dead.
She's so dead.
1213
00:56:53,432 --> 00:56:54,552
- WATSON: I know.
- HOLMES: Okay.
1214
00:56:54,633 --> 00:56:56,499
We'll shove her down the toilet
1215
00:56:56,633 --> 00:56:58,665
as if she was never here, and
we'll deny ever seeing her.
1216
00:56:58,666 --> 00:57:00,299
Right. Excellent.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1217
00:57:00,432 --> 00:57:01,499
HOLMES: Come on.
Come up.
1218
00:57:03,599 --> 00:57:05,065
Here we are.
Into the bathroom.
1219
00:57:05,199 --> 00:57:06,799
(THUD)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1220
00:57:06,933 --> 00:57:08,399
Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson.
1221
00:57:08,533 --> 00:57:09,866
What was the big bang?
(GASPS)
1222
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:11,332
We must buy some time.
(GASPS)
1223
00:57:11,466 --> 00:57:12,746
Right.
Let's get her to the door.
1224
00:57:12,833 --> 00:57:14,466
GUARD: Open this door!
Wait.
1225
00:57:14,599 --> 00:57:16,098
WATSON: (IMITATING THE QUEEN)
Hello. What do you want?
1226
00:57:16,099 --> 00:57:17,366
Ma'am, are you all right?
1227
00:57:17,499 --> 00:57:19,699
Yes, of course I'm fine.
Can't you see?
1228
00:57:19,833 --> 00:57:21,164
Yes, of course, ma'am.
I'm so sorry.
1229
00:57:21,165 --> 00:57:22,365
We've got it from here, boys. Thank you.
1230
00:57:22,366 --> 00:57:23,446
- We're good.
- GUARD: Yes, sir.
1231
00:57:23,566 --> 00:57:24,833
(DOOR LOCKS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1232
00:57:24,966 --> 00:57:26,165
The trunk.
Yes.
1233
00:57:26,299 --> 00:57:27,933
Yes, we'll mail her to Africa.
1234
00:57:28,065 --> 00:57:29,366
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1235
00:57:29,499 --> 00:57:30,900
WATSON: Come on, ma'am.
Sorry.
1236
00:57:31,032 --> 00:57:32,032
HOLMES: There we go.
1237
00:57:32,165 --> 00:57:33,332
Stuff her in there.
1238
00:57:33,466 --> 00:57:34,706
Really thrust.
(WATSON GRUNTING)
1239
00:57:34,733 --> 00:57:36,165
Good. Good.
1240
00:57:36,866 --> 00:57:38,499
Good. Good.
1241
00:57:38,633 --> 00:57:40,165
- Hold on, Watson.
- GUARD: Come on, boys.
1242
00:57:40,299 --> 00:57:42,099
Open the door!
(GRUNTING)
1243
00:57:42,232 --> 00:57:44,000
Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson.
1244
00:57:44,132 --> 00:57:46,399
One, two, three. Watch your fingers.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1245
00:57:47,566 --> 00:57:49,466
GUARD:
Open this door immediately!
1246
00:57:49,599 --> 00:57:51,065
This is bad.
1247
00:57:51,199 --> 00:57:52,759
You know what we must do.
(DOOR BANGING)
1248
00:57:53,633 --> 00:57:55,065
Grab your toolbox.
1249
00:57:55,199 --> 00:57:57,533
Let me in! I'm breaking down the door!
1250
00:57:57,666 --> 00:57:59,199
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1251
00:57:59,332 --> 00:58:01,332
Bone saw.
Bone saw.
1252
00:58:01,466 --> 00:58:02,932
- WATSON: Oh, God.
- GUARD: Come on! Push! Come on, together!
1253
00:58:02,933 --> 00:58:05,633
Watson, toilet-sized chunks.
1254
00:58:05,766 --> 00:58:06,966
GUARD: Put your back into it!
1255
00:58:07,099 --> 00:58:08,139
(GUARDS GRUNT)
(DOOR OPENS)
1256
00:58:10,432 --> 00:58:11,733
Good God!
1257
00:58:11,866 --> 00:58:13,132
What have you done?
1258
00:58:13,799 --> 00:58:14,900
(GASPS)
1259
00:58:15,032 --> 00:58:16,499
Platypus lips.
1260
00:58:21,132 --> 00:58:23,332
(BONE SAW CLATTERS)
1261
00:58:23,466 --> 00:58:27,266
Can you send me a copy
of the self-photograph?
1262
00:58:28,466 --> 00:58:30,666
Absolutely.
1263
00:58:30,799 --> 00:58:34,699
It will arrive
at the palace in about a week.
1264
00:58:36,366 --> 00:58:37,599
Gentlemen,
1265
00:58:37,733 --> 00:58:41,332
you have two days to stop this killer.
1266
00:58:41,466 --> 00:58:42,533
Yes, ma'am.
1267
00:58:43,733 --> 00:58:45,000
God save the Queen.
1268
00:58:48,299 --> 00:58:50,000
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1269
00:58:50,132 --> 00:58:53,566
What a perfect day for a picnic
at London's greatest spectacle,
1270
00:58:53,699 --> 00:58:55,833
the Anglo-American Exhibition.
1271
00:58:55,966 --> 00:58:57,866
A celebration of that
special relationship
1272
00:58:58,000 --> 00:58:59,733
between our nation and yours.
1273
00:58:59,866 --> 00:59:01,833
Yes, such a special relationship
1274
00:59:01,966 --> 00:59:03,866
between these two nations,
1275
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:05,966
although I could never live
1276
00:59:06,099 --> 00:59:08,000
in a country with an unelected ruler
1277
00:59:08,132 --> 00:59:09,165
like the Queen.
1278
00:59:09,299 --> 00:59:11,165
(SCOFFS) Why ever not?
1279
00:59:11,299 --> 00:59:13,399
In America, we have democracy.
1280
00:59:13,533 --> 00:59:16,366
Our president is a person
our people have all chosen.
1281
00:59:16,499 --> 00:59:17,433
Mmm.
1282
00:59:17,466 --> 00:59:21,699
An assurance that only the finest
and most qualified man will lead,
1283
00:59:21,833 --> 00:59:25,733
not a wealthy tyrant who
cares for nothing but himself.
1284
00:59:25,866 --> 00:59:28,499
But you have the electoral
college, which surely will prevent
1285
00:59:28,633 --> 00:59:30,933
some trumped-up charlatan
from gaining power.
1286
00:59:31,065 --> 00:59:32,666
Not always, unfortunately.
1287
00:59:32,799 --> 00:59:34,900
It would be great
to have a strong businessman.
1288
00:59:35,032 --> 00:59:36,499
But a showman as well.
1289
00:59:36,633 --> 00:59:38,000
I love a good show.
1290
00:59:38,132 --> 00:59:40,099
America.
(GRACE AND WATSON CHUCKLE)
1291
00:59:40,232 --> 00:59:43,132
We gave you your freedom, and now
look what you've done with it.
1292
01:00:06,133 --> 01:00:07,766
HOLMES: Remember, Watson.
(GRUNTS)
1293
01:00:07,899 --> 01:00:11,400
Relax them with small talk,
then begin the seduction.
1294
01:00:11,532 --> 01:00:13,099
I must say, she doesn't look
1295
01:00:13,233 --> 01:00:15,133
like she could be
an accessory to murder.
1296
01:00:16,432 --> 01:00:18,732
Well, looks can be deceiving.
1297
01:00:18,866 --> 01:00:20,233
(WHINY GRUNT)
1298
01:00:20,366 --> 01:00:22,732
Remember, we're here to seduce.
1299
01:00:22,866 --> 01:00:26,966
These physical displays of
strength will enchant them.
1300
01:00:27,099 --> 01:00:28,366
WATSON: Ah.
1301
01:00:28,499 --> 01:00:30,266
(VERDI'S LA DONNA E MOBILE PLAYS)
1302
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:31,532
(PANTING)
1303
01:00:31,666 --> 01:00:33,033
I could use a bit of cocaine.
1304
01:00:33,166 --> 01:00:34,732
Did you bring a vial with you?
1305
01:00:36,099 --> 01:00:38,465
(BOTH GRUNTING MANIACALLY)
1306
01:00:38,599 --> 01:00:39,766
Very good.
1307
01:00:42,099 --> 01:00:43,632
(BOTH YELLING)
1308
01:00:46,565 --> 01:00:47,899
(GROANS)
1309
01:00:48,033 --> 01:00:50,465
Are you all right?
I'm... I'm exhausted.
1310
01:00:50,599 --> 01:00:52,933
There is one test I can employ
1311
01:00:53,066 --> 01:00:55,732
to prove she truly is
who she says she is.
1312
01:00:55,866 --> 01:00:57,233
Then do it, Holmes.
1313
01:00:57,366 --> 01:00:59,632
Employ your last test.
I simply must know.
1314
01:00:59,766 --> 01:01:00,899
(GROANS)
1315
01:01:02,899 --> 01:01:04,133
Help!
John?
1316
01:01:04,266 --> 01:01:05,899
- This man has been taken ill.
- GRACE: What?
1317
01:01:06,033 --> 01:01:08,333
(GROANING)
Oh!
1318
01:01:08,465 --> 01:01:09,766
Let me see.
1319
01:01:09,899 --> 01:01:11,799
If only there were a doctor present.
1320
01:01:11,933 --> 01:01:15,099
Clearly, he's had a severe
blow to his occipital bone.
1321
01:01:15,233 --> 01:01:16,300
He's concussed.
1322
01:01:16,432 --> 01:01:18,699
And I am a doctor.
A doctor?
1323
01:01:18,832 --> 01:01:21,899
A woman doctor. What times we live in.
(SIGHS)
1324
01:01:22,033 --> 01:01:23,766
Could it be?
1325
01:01:23,899 --> 01:01:26,532
Is Grace truly a doctor?
1326
01:01:26,666 --> 01:01:29,066
Are her feelings of affection genuine?
1327
01:01:29,199 --> 01:01:31,033
Then she's innocent.
1328
01:01:31,166 --> 01:01:32,400
Watson, get up.
1329
01:01:32,532 --> 01:01:33,732
We need to go see my brother.
1330
01:01:33,866 --> 01:01:35,899
I love you, Grace.
Oh!
1331
01:01:38,266 --> 01:01:40,732
WATSON: The legendary
Diogenes Men's Club.
1332
01:01:40,866 --> 01:01:43,266
HOLMES: Home of London's
most awkward gentlemen
1333
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:44,599
and my brother. (EXCLAIMS)
1334
01:01:44,732 --> 01:01:46,266
(BIRD SCREECHING)
1335
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:47,632
Holmes.
Mmm.
1336
01:01:47,766 --> 01:01:49,166
I can't believe you have a brother.
1337
01:01:49,266 --> 01:01:51,166
Yes, but we're nothing alike.
1338
01:01:51,300 --> 01:01:53,599
He's an arrogant man
who never appreciates
1339
01:01:53,732 --> 01:01:55,333
the people around him.
1340
01:01:55,465 --> 01:01:56,999
BUTLER: Follow me. Here.
1341
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:03,300
MYCROFT: Well, well, well.
1342
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:08,632
So you are finally seeking
your brother's help.
1343
01:02:08,766 --> 01:02:10,799
(SIGHS)
I must say, I'm not surprised.
1344
01:02:10,933 --> 01:02:13,432
And this vague assembly
of limbs and fatty tissue,
1345
01:02:13,565 --> 01:02:14,966
I assume, is Dr. Watson.
1346
01:02:15,099 --> 01:02:16,133
Mmm.
1347
01:02:19,432 --> 01:02:21,632
(MUFFLED, DISTORTED VOICES)
1348
01:02:29,366 --> 01:02:31,199
So shall I get us started?
1349
01:02:31,333 --> 01:02:33,866
(MEN SHUSHING)
1350
01:02:33,999 --> 01:02:35,699
Watson, please.
1351
01:02:35,832 --> 01:02:37,732
We're in the middle of a conversation.
1352
01:02:37,866 --> 01:02:39,599
Can't you see?
1353
01:02:39,732 --> 01:02:41,564
When the two most brilliant
minds in all of England
1354
01:02:41,565 --> 01:02:42,799
have a fraternal bond,
1355
01:02:42,933 --> 01:02:44,899
words are an inefficiency.
1356
01:02:45,033 --> 01:02:47,465
We communicate without words, silently,
1357
01:02:47,599 --> 01:02:49,933
from giant brain to gianter brain.
1358
01:02:50,066 --> 01:02:51,732
WATSON: Of course.
1359
01:02:51,866 --> 01:02:54,300
I'll join in as I see fit.
(CHUCKLES)
1360
01:02:54,432 --> 01:02:57,465
(BOTH CLEAR THROAT)
1361
01:02:57,599 --> 01:03:00,333
MYCROFT: I can spare a few minutes
to solve your little mystery
1362
01:03:00,465 --> 01:03:03,465
and help quench your thirst
for public adulation.
1363
01:03:03,599 --> 01:03:05,933
HOLMES:
My thirst is for logic.
1364
01:03:06,066 --> 01:03:09,899
I don't care what the public thinks
of London's best-loved detective,
1365
01:03:10,033 --> 01:03:11,166
Sherlock Holmes.
1366
01:03:11,300 --> 01:03:12,966
WATSON: Thoughts.
(GROANS)
1367
01:03:13,099 --> 01:03:14,933
(FEEDBACK SQUEALS)
Me-Me talky.
1368
01:03:15,066 --> 01:03:16,333
Me-Me talky.
1369
01:03:16,465 --> 01:03:17,899
You find killer.
1370
01:03:18,033 --> 01:03:21,099
Me-Me talky?
We find killer?
1371
01:03:21,233 --> 01:03:23,766
Watson, what are you trying to do?
1372
01:03:23,899 --> 01:03:25,033
Trying to brain-speak.
1373
01:03:25,166 --> 01:03:27,066
HOLMES: You're going to hurt yourself.
1374
01:03:27,199 --> 01:03:29,066
Uh, sorry.
(CHUCKLES)
1375
01:03:29,199 --> 01:03:31,565
Uh, perhaps the gentleman
would be more comfortable
1376
01:03:31,699 --> 01:03:34,400
in the companions' chamber.
1377
01:03:34,532 --> 01:03:37,966
Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be
comfortable here by the fire.
1378
01:03:38,099 --> 01:03:39,400
In the companions' chamber, sir.
1379
01:03:39,532 --> 01:03:40,699
Yes, fine. Of course.
1380
01:03:40,832 --> 01:03:42,599
Great idea.
Yeah, capital idea.
1381
01:03:42,732 --> 01:03:44,233
I'll be in the companions' room. Yes.
1382
01:03:44,366 --> 01:03:47,300
The equal companions' room,
should you need me.
1383
01:03:47,432 --> 01:03:48,799
It's just here.
1384
01:03:48,933 --> 01:03:50,632
(MONKEY SCREECHING)
1385
01:03:52,565 --> 01:03:54,166
(DOOR CLOSES)
1386
01:03:54,300 --> 01:03:56,132
BUTLER: Please enjoy the company
of your fellow companions.
1387
01:03:56,133 --> 01:03:58,066
I see. Huh.
1388
01:03:58,199 --> 01:04:01,333
Balloons are happy,
but they're not alive.
1389
01:04:02,799 --> 01:04:04,079
Fair enough.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
1390
01:04:04,133 --> 01:04:05,166
(LOCK CLICKS)
1391
01:04:05,933 --> 01:04:08,799
(DOORKNOB RATTLING)
1392
01:04:08,933 --> 01:04:13,133
HOLMES: Who is this brilliant
nemesis capable of besting me?
1393
01:04:13,266 --> 01:04:16,599
MYCROFT: If your nemesis
were truly smarter than you,
1394
01:04:16,732 --> 01:04:18,599
it could only be me.
1395
01:04:18,732 --> 01:04:20,899
And as I am not the killer,
one must conclude
1396
01:04:21,033 --> 01:04:24,266
that the killer did not,
nor could not, outwit you.
1397
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:27,400
HOLMES: If the killer
is my intellectual inferior,
1398
01:04:27,532 --> 01:04:29,599
how has he predicted my every move?
1399
01:04:29,732 --> 01:04:31,431
MYCROFT: The killer
did not predict your actions.
1400
01:04:31,432 --> 01:04:33,532
Our murderer is a student of yours,
1401
01:04:33,666 --> 01:04:35,199
someone in your proximity.
1402
01:04:35,333 --> 01:04:37,366
Someone who could
observe you undetected.
1403
01:04:37,499 --> 01:04:39,899
Someone who knows you
better than anyone.
1404
01:04:40,033 --> 01:04:41,432
WATSON:
His mind radiates wisdom.
1405
01:04:41,565 --> 01:04:43,266
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
1406
01:04:46,866 --> 01:04:48,233
I am dying from anticipation.
1407
01:04:48,366 --> 01:04:49,765
What did your brother tell you, Holmes?
1408
01:04:49,766 --> 01:04:51,632
I believe I've cracked the case.
1409
01:04:51,766 --> 01:04:54,432
It was in front of me the
whole time, my dear Watson.
1410
01:04:54,565 --> 01:04:55,766
Oh, do share.
1411
01:04:55,899 --> 01:04:57,732
(SIGHS)
And ruin the suspense?
1412
01:04:57,866 --> 01:05:00,400
I just thought, since I
worked the case with you...
1413
01:05:00,532 --> 01:05:01,766
And we're here.
(SIGHS)
1414
01:05:04,699 --> 01:05:06,133
HOLMES: Now,
1415
01:05:06,266 --> 01:05:09,666
you're all wondering why
I gathered you here today.
1416
01:05:09,799 --> 01:05:13,066
Prepare yourself to be astonished.
1417
01:05:13,199 --> 01:05:14,465
The killer could only be a man
1418
01:05:14,599 --> 01:05:17,066
who knew my actions at every turn.
1419
01:05:17,199 --> 01:05:19,766
Who was present at every murder?
1420
01:05:19,899 --> 01:05:21,133
Hmm?
1421
01:05:21,266 --> 01:05:23,799
Who knows me better than anyone?
1422
01:05:23,933 --> 01:05:26,799
It was you who arranged
my birthday party
1423
01:05:26,933 --> 01:05:29,699
and the cake which contained
the first victim,
1424
01:05:29,832 --> 01:05:33,465
initiating the events
leading us to today.
1425
01:05:33,599 --> 01:05:36,999
Dr. Watson is the killer.
1426
01:05:37,133 --> 01:05:39,400
(OTHERS GASPING AND MURMURING)
1427
01:05:39,532 --> 01:05:40,799
HOLMES:
By studying my methods,
1428
01:05:40,933 --> 01:05:43,966
you created a fake crime
only you could solve.
1429
01:05:44,099 --> 01:05:46,599
Why? I was to be so impressed
1430
01:05:46,732 --> 01:05:49,432
that I would crown him co-detective.
1431
01:05:49,565 --> 01:05:52,099
He wanted to rewrite history
1432
01:05:52,233 --> 01:05:54,033
by becoming my partner.
1433
01:05:56,366 --> 01:05:57,799
(CHUCKLES)
1434
01:05:57,933 --> 01:06:00,999
Okay. Now the part about
how I could never have done it
1435
01:06:01,133 --> 01:06:03,066
and on to the surprising real killer.
1436
01:06:03,199 --> 01:06:04,666
I wonder who it's going to be.
1437
01:06:04,799 --> 01:06:06,933
When one eliminates the impossible,
1438
01:06:07,066 --> 01:06:09,832
whatever remains, however improbable,
1439
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,233
is the truth.
1440
01:06:12,300 --> 01:06:14,832
But this is absurd.
1441
01:06:14,966 --> 01:06:16,486
Holmes, you must know in your heart...
1442
01:06:16,532 --> 01:06:18,432
The heart is for pumping blood.
1443
01:06:18,565 --> 01:06:21,400
The truth is the truth!
1444
01:06:21,532 --> 01:06:23,233
Truth
1445
01:06:23,366 --> 01:06:27,233
is that I have devoted my life to you.
1446
01:06:27,366 --> 01:06:28,766
And I was a fool to think
1447
01:06:28,899 --> 01:06:30,766
you would ever consider me
as a co-detective
1448
01:06:30,899 --> 01:06:34,199
when you're incapable of
thinking of me even as a friend!
1449
01:06:34,333 --> 01:06:36,066
(STAMMERING)
1450
01:06:36,199 --> 01:06:37,799
Inspector Lestrade, take him.
1451
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:39,565
Go on.
1452
01:06:39,699 --> 01:06:40,966
The man is your closest friend.
1453
01:06:41,099 --> 01:06:43,066
Your pursuit of Moriarty has failed.
1454
01:06:43,199 --> 01:06:44,933
You have no suspects.
1455
01:06:45,066 --> 01:06:47,565
The killer still threatens
to kill the Queen.
1456
01:06:47,699 --> 01:06:50,400
Is that a chance you're willing to take?
1457
01:06:50,532 --> 01:06:52,565
Take him.
What?
1458
01:06:52,699 --> 01:06:55,599
(GRUNTING)
1459
01:06:55,732 --> 01:06:57,732
Do you see his propensity for violence?
1460
01:06:57,866 --> 01:07:00,233
- Do you still doubt me?
- OFFICER: Calm down.
1461
01:07:00,366 --> 01:07:05,099
I shall never again carry your
blasted magnifying glasses
1462
01:07:06,099 --> 01:07:08,432
or your jars of urine.
1463
01:07:08,565 --> 01:07:10,799
Why are we even saving these?
1464
01:07:10,933 --> 01:07:14,899
And you look stupid in that hat.
(GASPS)
1465
01:07:15,033 --> 01:07:18,099
Your head was not meant for hats.
1466
01:07:18,732 --> 01:07:20,099
(GRUNTING)
1467
01:07:20,233 --> 01:07:22,400
Unhand me! No!
1468
01:07:22,532 --> 01:07:23,966
I'll never forget you, John.
1469
01:07:24,099 --> 01:07:26,300
(YELLING, SOBBING)
1470
01:07:26,432 --> 01:07:27,666
Why?
1471
01:07:27,799 --> 01:07:30,099
John Watson devoted his life to you,
1472
01:07:30,233 --> 01:07:31,966
and this is how you repay him?
1473
01:07:32,099 --> 01:07:35,766
Back to America with your
ham-dogs and hot-burgers.
1474
01:07:35,899 --> 01:07:38,532
GRACE:
At least, in America, our system's fair.
1475
01:07:38,666 --> 01:07:40,866
No citizen can be found guilty
1476
01:07:40,999 --> 01:07:44,532
till his case is heard by a jury
of white property-owning men.
1477
01:07:46,199 --> 01:07:48,766
Millie, surely, you must understand.
1478
01:07:54,432 --> 01:07:55,933
(GASPS)
1479
01:07:57,899 --> 01:07:59,532
Fine, go!
1480
01:07:59,666 --> 01:08:02,499
I'm the greatest detective
who ever lived.
1481
01:08:02,632 --> 01:08:04,933
You're welcome for solving this case.
1482
01:08:05,066 --> 01:08:07,300
Sherlock abandons Watson!
1483
01:08:23,901 --> 01:08:26,901
_ _ _
1484
01:08:47,499 --> 01:08:48,566
(GASPS)
1485
01:08:52,166 --> 01:08:54,865
(GASPS SOFTLY)
1486
01:08:58,032 --> 01:08:59,299
(GASPS)
1487
01:09:01,333 --> 01:09:02,533
A tear?
1488
01:09:02,666 --> 01:09:03,999
(HEARTBEAT THUMPING)
1489
01:09:04,132 --> 01:09:05,633
What is this tear?
1490
01:09:07,299 --> 01:09:08,265
(WHIMPERS)
1491
01:09:08,599 --> 01:09:10,466
I... I can't stop it.
1492
01:09:11,833 --> 01:09:13,566
(GASPING)
1493
01:09:16,666 --> 01:09:19,265
What is this warm feeling in my chest?
1494
01:09:25,632 --> 01:09:29,933
♪ Why am I reeling in confusion?
1495
01:09:30,066 --> 01:09:33,599
♪ What is this fever in my head?
1496
01:09:33,733 --> 01:09:35,100
♪ Is it pox?
1497
01:09:35,232 --> 01:09:36,566
♪ Maybe gout
1498
01:09:36,699 --> 01:09:39,566
♪ I can't seem to work it out
1499
01:09:39,699 --> 01:09:41,899
♪ And why
1500
01:09:42,033 --> 01:09:45,766
♪ Don't I feel triumphant?
1501
01:09:45,899 --> 01:09:48,599
♪ And why does it seem less than right
1502
01:09:48,733 --> 01:09:51,599
♪ That Watson's going to hang tonight
1503
01:09:51,733 --> 01:09:56,733
♪ And gasp and thrash
and choke until he's dead?
1504
01:09:56,866 --> 01:10:00,466
♪ What is this strange sensation
1505
01:10:00,466 --> 01:10:03,032
♪ Where did I go wrong?
1506
01:10:03,165 --> 01:10:06,232
♪ Why am I a sobbing, trembling mess?
1507
01:10:06,366 --> 01:10:08,499
♪ Soon my neck will snap in half
1508
01:10:08,633 --> 01:10:11,232
♪ I guess
♪ And yet I know somehow
1509
01:10:11,366 --> 01:10:14,799
♪ And yet right now
♪ If he could hear right now
1510
01:10:14,933 --> 01:10:17,299
♪ I would still forgive him
1511
01:10:19,966 --> 01:10:23,466
♪ More or less
1512
01:10:23,599 --> 01:10:26,332
♪ Please, I don't know
Upon whom else to call
1513
01:10:26,466 --> 01:10:29,199
♪ Nothing is making any sense at all
1514
01:10:29,332 --> 01:10:32,733
♪ Speak! I need your voice
To hear your voice
1515
01:10:32,866 --> 01:10:36,000
♪ So sweet, so pure, so wise
1516
01:10:40,132 --> 01:10:43,733
♪ Sometimes the irrational
1517
01:10:43,866 --> 01:10:47,332
♪ Is truer than the rational
1518
01:10:47,466 --> 01:10:50,599
♪ The heart can have its reasons
1519
01:10:50,733 --> 01:10:54,900
♪ Which the head knows nothing of
1520
01:10:55,032 --> 01:10:57,900
♪ Your brain says Watson's guilty
1521
01:10:58,032 --> 01:11:02,065
♪ But a stronger force says
"No, he's not"
1522
01:11:02,199 --> 01:11:03,866
♪ What is that force?
1523
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:05,866
♪ It's... It's...
♪ Yes? What?
1524
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:09,432
♪ It's love...
♪ Love?
1525
01:11:09,566 --> 01:11:13,332
♪ It's love
♪ It's love
1526
01:11:13,466 --> 01:11:15,466
♪ It's love
♪ It's love
1527
01:11:15,599 --> 01:11:18,332
♪ It's love
♪ It's love ♪
1528
01:11:18,466 --> 01:11:19,833
My God.
1529
01:11:19,966 --> 01:11:21,499
Did I push Watson away
1530
01:11:21,633 --> 01:11:24,299
because I feared losing him to Grace?
1531
01:11:24,432 --> 01:11:26,899
Somehow, I know in my heart...
1532
01:11:28,166 --> 01:11:30,133
Watson is innocent!
1533
01:11:30,266 --> 01:11:34,099
♪ Time to go and save
♪ Come save me now
1534
01:11:34,233 --> 01:11:40,832
♪ The man I love ♪
♪ The man I love ♪
1535
01:11:43,066 --> 01:11:44,432
HOLMES: Watson!
1536
01:11:44,566 --> 01:11:47,632
I discovered my emotions,
and I'm only 46.
1537
01:11:47,766 --> 01:11:50,133
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Hang! Hang! Hang!
1538
01:11:50,265 --> 01:11:51,466
(BARKING, GROWLING)
1539
01:11:51,599 --> 01:11:52,899
(ALL CHEERING)
1540
01:11:53,033 --> 01:11:54,100
(MAN LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
1541
01:11:54,232 --> 01:11:56,133
Oh, God.
1542
01:11:56,265 --> 01:11:58,432
CROWD: (CHANTING) Hang Dr. Watson!
Hang Dr. Watson!
1543
01:11:58,566 --> 01:12:00,399
WATSON: The dogs seem
really unnecessary.
1544
01:12:01,100 --> 01:12:02,100
Sherlock.
1545
01:12:03,666 --> 01:12:04,899
Oh.
1546
01:12:05,033 --> 01:12:06,133
It's you. (CHUCKLES)
1547
01:12:07,265 --> 01:12:08,699
You've brought cake.
1548
01:12:16,133 --> 01:12:18,232
Watson! My brother!
1549
01:12:18,365 --> 01:12:20,200
Watson, where are you?
1550
01:12:20,332 --> 01:12:21,499
Where...
1551
01:12:21,632 --> 01:12:22,866
I'm too late.
1552
01:12:28,033 --> 01:12:29,499
Clever.
1553
01:12:29,632 --> 01:12:32,999
Very, very clever.
1554
01:12:39,133 --> 01:12:41,532
You were always so clever,
1555
01:12:41,666 --> 01:12:43,133
and I never appreciated it.
1556
01:12:44,833 --> 01:12:46,866
But it's not too late to make amends.
1557
01:12:46,999 --> 01:12:48,399
Watson!
1558
01:12:48,532 --> 01:12:50,632
I shouldn't have wasted
all my time singing!
1559
01:12:56,200 --> 01:12:57,733
Ah! Grimy news kids.
1560
01:12:57,866 --> 01:12:59,566
I desperately need your help.
1561
01:12:59,699 --> 01:13:01,399
Dr. Watson's in grave danger.
1562
01:13:01,532 --> 01:13:02,966
Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
1563
01:13:03,100 --> 01:13:04,532
Because of you, you wank!
1564
01:13:04,666 --> 01:13:05,799
I know.
1565
01:13:05,933 --> 01:13:07,532
But I know of a way to save him.
1566
01:13:07,666 --> 01:13:09,799
Please, please help me.
1567
01:13:09,933 --> 01:13:12,499
I must find a way
to the docks immediately.
1568
01:13:16,200 --> 01:13:17,532
WATSON: "Moriarty's daughter
1569
01:13:17,666 --> 01:13:19,733
"did the one thing Moriarty never could.
1570
01:13:19,866 --> 01:13:24,399
"She defeated Sherlock Holmes
and assassinated the Queen.
1571
01:13:24,532 --> 01:13:27,033
"Sherlock Holmes,
the man whom I regarded
1572
01:13:27,166 --> 01:13:30,899
"as the best and the wisest
man whom I would ever know
1573
01:13:32,232 --> 01:13:34,766
"was a fraud."
1574
01:13:37,066 --> 01:13:38,332
(SIGHS)
1575
01:13:38,466 --> 01:13:39,999
It is done. (SIGHS)
1576
01:13:40,133 --> 01:13:43,066
A devilish plan worthy of your father.
1577
01:13:43,200 --> 01:13:47,866
The last book in the Sherlock
Holmes canon is complete,
1578
01:13:47,999 --> 01:13:50,899
The Case of the Defeated Detective.
1579
01:13:51,033 --> 01:13:54,100
Daddy will be so proud.
1580
01:13:54,232 --> 01:13:55,699
Sherlock will be remembered
1581
01:13:55,833 --> 01:13:58,699
as the man who failed
to protect the Queen.
1582
01:13:58,833 --> 01:14:00,432
History shall be rewritten
1583
01:14:00,566 --> 01:14:04,866
at the hand of his
loyal partner, Dr. Watson.
1584
01:14:04,999 --> 01:14:06,799
I've done your bidding.
1585
01:14:06,933 --> 01:14:08,365
Now set me free.
1586
01:14:09,232 --> 01:14:11,566
You're gonna die here.
1587
01:14:11,699 --> 01:14:13,100
You gave me your word.
1588
01:14:13,232 --> 01:14:14,699
You swore on the life of the Queen.
1589
01:14:14,833 --> 01:14:18,432
I'm gonna kill the Queen,
you big eejit. Boys!
1590
01:14:18,566 --> 01:14:20,399
GIRL: Mrs. Hudson is the killer?
Mmm-hmm.
1591
01:14:20,532 --> 01:14:21,599
Gorblimey!
1592
01:14:21,733 --> 01:14:23,066
How'd you work that out?
1593
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:25,365
Why, it was Watson who told me.
1594
01:14:25,499 --> 01:14:27,899
You see, beet sugar.
1595
01:14:28,033 --> 01:14:30,733
Mrs. Hudson's family recipe
and Watson's favorite.
1596
01:14:30,866 --> 01:14:32,386
He never would have left crumbs behind
1597
01:14:32,499 --> 01:14:34,200
unless he was leaving me a clue.
1598
01:14:34,332 --> 01:14:37,666
For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's
origins are not so humble.
1599
01:14:37,799 --> 01:14:41,399
She is none other than the daughter
of Professor James Moriarty.
1600
01:14:41,532 --> 01:14:42,933
BOY: No, it ain't possible.
1601
01:14:43,066 --> 01:14:46,200
You see, Mrs. Hudson
never knew her father.
1602
01:14:46,332 --> 01:14:47,766
He was never present.
1603
01:14:47,899 --> 01:14:49,532
To gain his love,
1604
01:14:49,666 --> 01:14:51,466
she tried to pull off
the greatest crime ever.
1605
01:14:51,599 --> 01:14:54,466
Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes.
1606
01:14:54,599 --> 01:14:57,899
She took a job at my house
in order to study my methods,
1607
01:14:58,033 --> 01:15:01,232
then used a network of patsies
to execute her plans.
1608
01:15:01,365 --> 01:15:04,133
However, it wasn't until
I understood feelings
1609
01:15:04,265 --> 01:15:06,133
that I understood her motive,
1610
01:15:06,265 --> 01:15:08,933
her need for her father's love.
1611
01:15:09,066 --> 01:15:12,100
She would gain it by
eliminating his greatest enemy,
1612
01:15:12,232 --> 01:15:13,766
me.
1613
01:15:13,899 --> 01:15:17,866
And tonight, she will commit
her boldest crime yet,
1614
01:15:17,999 --> 01:15:21,399
killing the Queen here!
1615
01:15:21,532 --> 01:15:23,232
The Titanic.
1616
01:15:23,365 --> 01:15:25,232
The marvel of London.
1617
01:15:25,365 --> 01:15:29,232
A new castle, which runs on coal.
1618
01:15:29,365 --> 01:15:31,899
MAN: Your Majesty, may I
introduce Lieutenant Morgan.
1619
01:15:32,033 --> 01:15:33,666
QUEEN VICTORIA:
Lieutenant.
1620
01:15:33,799 --> 01:15:36,033
MAN: First Officer Carter.
1621
01:15:36,166 --> 01:15:38,566
- Your Majesty.
- First Officer.
1622
01:15:38,699 --> 01:15:41,166
HOLMES:
Look, Hudson's goons.
1623
01:15:41,299 --> 01:15:44,365
- Create a diversion.
- You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes.
1624
01:15:44,499 --> 01:15:45,619
We'll take care of this lot.
1625
01:15:45,733 --> 01:15:47,399
Come on, you tom tit!
1626
01:15:47,532 --> 01:15:49,452
You ain't bigger than a
couple of powder monkeys.
1627
01:15:49,532 --> 01:15:50,899
(DOOR OPENS)
1628
01:15:51,033 --> 01:15:52,699
Is there a problem, boys?
1629
01:15:52,833 --> 01:15:55,299
(CHUCKLES) Think we can
take them, lads. Aye?
1630
01:15:55,432 --> 01:15:57,466
Walk away now, and I
promise you won't get hurt.
1631
01:15:57,599 --> 01:16:00,100
A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies?
1632
01:16:00,232 --> 01:16:02,200
American ladies.
1633
01:16:02,332 --> 01:16:04,399
(HORSE NEIGHING)
(CHILDREN SHOUTING)
1634
01:16:06,599 --> 01:16:07,866
MAN: Not my eyes!
1635
01:16:12,733 --> 01:16:15,299
MRS. HUDSON:
I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson.
1636
01:16:15,432 --> 01:16:17,999
I'm gonna crush your head.
1637
01:16:18,133 --> 01:16:20,899
There's gonna be brains everywhere.
1638
01:16:21,033 --> 01:16:23,499
And I'll not be cleaning up after.
1639
01:16:23,632 --> 01:16:25,033
I know you're threatening me,
1640
01:16:25,166 --> 01:16:27,399
but I can't understand
a word you're saying.
1641
01:16:27,532 --> 01:16:29,899
You're staying, Dr. Watson,
1642
01:16:30,033 --> 01:16:33,699
but I'll be on my way to America
by the time the bomb explodes.
1643
01:16:33,833 --> 01:16:35,166
Sherlock will save me.
1644
01:16:35,299 --> 01:16:37,066
You'll see.
I'll see.
1645
01:16:37,200 --> 01:16:38,899
He won't let me down.
1646
01:16:39,033 --> 01:16:41,200
He won't.
He's my best friend!
1647
01:16:41,332 --> 01:16:42,666
(SOBS MOCKINGLY)
1648
01:16:42,799 --> 01:16:44,432
Dollface!
1649
01:16:44,566 --> 01:16:45,999
(WHIRRING)
1650
01:16:46,133 --> 01:16:48,632
(SCREAMING)
1651
01:16:48,766 --> 01:16:50,332
MRS. HUDSON:
Come on, boys.
1652
01:16:50,466 --> 01:16:52,632
The bomb goes off in 10 minutes.
Sherlock!
1653
01:16:53,332 --> 01:16:55,299
Sherlock!
1654
01:16:56,033 --> 01:16:58,066
Help! Help!
1655
01:16:58,200 --> 01:16:59,866
Sherlock!
1656
01:17:00,499 --> 01:17:01,866
Help!
1657
01:17:01,999 --> 01:17:03,133
(SHOUTS)
1658
01:17:03,265 --> 01:17:04,365
Watson!
1659
01:17:05,033 --> 01:17:06,632
(PANTING)
1660
01:17:06,766 --> 01:17:10,566
Oh, God, if you save me,
I'll never touch myself again.
1661
01:17:10,699 --> 01:17:12,966
Watson!
Oh, Sherlock.
1662
01:17:13,100 --> 01:17:14,766
You've come for me.
I knew you would.
1663
01:17:14,899 --> 01:17:17,066
Watson, good news.
1664
01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:18,466
You're innocent.
1665
01:17:19,399 --> 01:17:21,100
Yes. I know.
1666
01:17:21,232 --> 01:17:23,299
Oh.
Thank you.
1667
01:17:23,432 --> 01:17:25,232
Can you forgive me?
Of course.
1668
01:17:25,365 --> 01:17:27,799
Now, be a good chap, and get
me out of this damn thing
1669
01:17:27,933 --> 01:17:29,632
before it crushes my skull.
1670
01:17:29,766 --> 01:17:31,265
Yes? There's a good chap.
Go on.
1671
01:17:31,399 --> 01:17:33,866
(GRUNTS) I won't leave you.
Not again.
1672
01:17:33,999 --> 01:17:36,232
That's a lovely sentiment,
but I really need you
1673
01:17:36,365 --> 01:17:38,265
to free me from this gear right now.
1674
01:17:38,399 --> 01:17:40,866
Emotions are spewing from my heart.
1675
01:17:40,999 --> 01:17:42,566
Pull yourself together.
(SOBBING) Okay.
1676
01:17:42,699 --> 01:17:44,632
Stop crying.
1677
01:17:44,766 --> 01:17:46,364
Because we must get the Queen
and everyone else off this ship.
1678
01:17:46,365 --> 01:17:48,100
You see, Hudson has planted a bomb.
1679
01:17:48,232 --> 01:17:49,966
A time bomb, you see?
1680
01:17:50,100 --> 01:17:52,100
You must free me.
Do you feel my heart ticking?
1681
01:17:52,232 --> 01:17:54,100
Get me off this fucking wheel!
(SOBS)
1682
01:17:54,232 --> 01:17:56,866
All my dreams are coming true.
1683
01:17:56,999 --> 01:18:01,200
In just two minutes, my bomb
will go off, killing the Queen.
1684
01:18:01,332 --> 01:18:03,432
Sherlock Holmes will go down in history
1685
01:18:03,566 --> 01:18:06,933
as the worst detective
the world has ever known.
1686
01:18:07,066 --> 01:18:10,432
And the name Moriarty
will live on forever!
1687
01:18:10,566 --> 01:18:11,933
(FOGHORN BLOWS)
1688
01:18:12,566 --> 01:18:14,200
Father,
1689
01:18:14,332 --> 01:18:16,933
soon, we shall be together again.
1690
01:18:17,066 --> 01:18:19,432
- In America!
- MEN: Yeah!
1691
01:18:20,399 --> 01:18:22,200
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1692
01:18:26,999 --> 01:18:29,632
The bomb will detonate in one minute.
1693
01:18:29,766 --> 01:18:31,432
Where could it possibly be?
1694
01:18:32,866 --> 01:18:34,166
WATSON: Wait.
1695
01:18:34,299 --> 01:18:36,066
That kettle drum.
1696
01:18:36,200 --> 01:18:39,200
Those are only ever used
in mounted cavalry formations,
1697
01:18:39,332 --> 01:18:41,265
never in a Marine band.
1698
01:18:41,399 --> 01:18:42,599
Perhaps...
(GASPS)
1699
01:18:42,733 --> 01:18:45,232
The bomb is in the drum.
Very good, Watson.
1700
01:18:45,365 --> 01:18:47,033
But the Queen is standing
just beside it.
1701
01:18:47,166 --> 01:18:48,499
She'll be blown to smithereens.
1702
01:18:48,632 --> 01:18:51,699
But how to defuse it in time?
1703
01:18:51,833 --> 01:18:55,466
HOLMES: Time remaining until
bomb detonation, 55 seconds.
1704
01:18:55,599 --> 01:18:59,033
Estimated blast radius
from bomb, 17 feet.
1705
01:18:59,166 --> 01:19:02,200
Time required to move queen
to safety, 12 seconds.
1706
01:19:02,365 --> 01:19:04,100
Solution, move through crowd,
1707
01:19:04,232 --> 01:19:07,299
see Millie for the first time,
forget about bomb...
1708
01:19:07,432 --> 01:19:08,532
No.
1709
01:19:12,532 --> 01:19:14,365
Time remaining, 37 seconds.
1710
01:19:14,499 --> 01:19:16,899
Solution, shoot water main
to douse bomb,
1711
01:19:17,033 --> 01:19:18,899
remember Millie at the park,
forget about bomb.
1712
01:19:19,033 --> 01:19:20,265
No, I forgot about the bomb!
1713
01:19:24,599 --> 01:19:27,133
Watson, what are you doing in my brain?
1714
01:19:27,265 --> 01:19:28,599
WATSON: I'm doing it.
1715
01:19:28,733 --> 01:19:31,200
I'm communicating without words.
1716
01:19:31,332 --> 01:19:33,866
I can't focus. I was
trying to formulate a plan,
1717
01:19:33,999 --> 01:19:35,866
and I kept getting off track.
1718
01:19:35,999 --> 01:19:38,466
Holmes, no, you don't.
Snap out of it.
1719
01:19:38,599 --> 01:19:40,265
I can't. I'm too emotional.
1720
01:19:40,399 --> 01:19:42,899
Look behind me. The Queen's
being blown to bits.
1721
01:19:43,033 --> 01:19:44,599
You have to take control.
1722
01:19:44,733 --> 01:19:46,799
You must be detective for both of us.
1723
01:19:46,933 --> 01:19:48,066
Right.
1724
01:19:49,599 --> 01:19:51,033
WATSON: I know what I must do.
1725
01:19:51,166 --> 01:19:53,033
Estimated blast radius,
1726
01:19:53,166 --> 01:19:54,899
20... No, 30 feet?
1727
01:19:55,033 --> 01:19:56,365
Account for ship's movement.
1728
01:19:56,499 --> 01:19:58,033
Wait. Is that a four or a seven?
1729
01:19:58,166 --> 01:19:59,899
Math is so hard. Hold on.
1730
01:20:00,033 --> 01:20:01,866
What does that "X" mean?
Or is that a plus?
1731
01:20:01,999 --> 01:20:03,666
What is that thing?
Angle of approach?
1732
01:20:03,799 --> 01:20:05,200
Oh, I don't know how to do angles.
1733
01:20:05,332 --> 01:20:06,498
Should have listened more in school.
1734
01:20:06,499 --> 01:20:08,066
Oh, screw it. Charge!
1735
01:20:08,200 --> 01:20:09,866
(YELLING)
1736
01:20:09,999 --> 01:20:11,265
Out of my way!
1737
01:20:11,399 --> 01:20:12,933
Move!
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
1738
01:20:13,066 --> 01:20:15,599
(TICKING)
Nine, eight...
1739
01:20:15,733 --> 01:20:17,100
Coming through! (GRUNTS)
1740
01:20:17,232 --> 01:20:18,999
So sorry!
...seven...
1741
01:20:20,033 --> 01:20:21,365
Come on.
1742
01:20:21,499 --> 01:20:22,733
Move your tuchis!
(WOMAN GASPS)
1743
01:20:22,866 --> 01:20:24,033
Sorry, friend!
(MAN GROANING)
1744
01:20:25,866 --> 01:20:26,933
MRS. HUDSON: ...five,
1745
01:20:27,799 --> 01:20:28,833
four...
1746
01:20:28,966 --> 01:20:30,200
(PEOPLE GASPING)
1747
01:20:31,833 --> 01:20:33,033
...two...
1748
01:20:34,532 --> 01:20:36,066
(TICKING)
1749
01:20:37,899 --> 01:20:39,033
Aw, shit!
1750
01:20:40,966 --> 01:20:42,933
(CROWD GASPING, MURMURING)
1751
01:20:44,866 --> 01:20:46,100
MAN: Huzzah.
1752
01:20:46,232 --> 01:20:48,200
Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes.
1753
01:20:48,332 --> 01:20:51,733
Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic.
(APPLAUSE)
1754
01:20:51,866 --> 01:20:53,999
- CROWD: Huzzah!
- WOMAN: Hurrah for Sherlock!
1755
01:20:54,133 --> 01:20:55,666
MAN 1: Bravo, Sherlock!
1756
01:20:55,799 --> 01:20:57,364
MAN 2: Sherlock Holmes
was right about everything!
1757
01:20:57,365 --> 01:20:59,365
CROWD: Hip hip hooray!
1758
01:20:59,499 --> 01:21:02,265
Thank you. Thank you.
1759
01:21:02,399 --> 01:21:05,133
But I could never have
done it without Dr. Watson.
1760
01:21:05,265 --> 01:21:09,532
Oh, no. Let Watson's name
be forever associated
1761
01:21:09,666 --> 01:21:11,799
with the Titanic.
1762
01:21:11,933 --> 01:21:15,766
So, when you think of your friends
and relatives on board the Titanic,
1763
01:21:15,899 --> 01:21:17,399
just remember,
1764
01:21:17,532 --> 01:21:22,066
Dr. John H. Watson put them there.
1765
01:21:22,200 --> 01:21:24,066
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
MAN: Hooray for Watson!
1766
01:21:24,200 --> 01:21:25,699
Bloody good we didn't hang him.
1767
01:21:27,532 --> 01:21:29,066
QUEEN VICTORIA: Dr. Watson,
1768
01:21:29,833 --> 01:21:31,466
you saved us.
1769
01:21:31,599 --> 01:21:33,200
Thank you.
1770
01:21:33,332 --> 01:21:35,699
It has been my pleasure
to serve you, Your Majesty.
1771
01:21:37,699 --> 01:21:40,466
(APPLAUSE)
1772
01:21:44,899 --> 01:21:46,532
(KISSES, BLOWS)
1773
01:21:49,866 --> 01:21:50,933
(BLOWS)
1774
01:21:51,066 --> 01:21:52,133
(GUN CLICKS)
1775
01:21:52,265 --> 01:21:53,566
No, Millie.
1776
01:22:04,232 --> 01:22:06,232
I have a confession to make.
1777
01:22:06,365 --> 01:22:08,899
I'm not actually in love with you.
1778
01:22:09,033 --> 01:22:11,166
In order to conclude my investigation,
1779
01:22:11,299 --> 01:22:14,733
it was imperative that I
understood what love felt like.
1780
01:22:14,866 --> 01:22:17,332
I'm sorry to have led you on.
1781
01:22:17,466 --> 01:22:19,033
I have a confession as well.
1782
01:22:19,166 --> 01:22:20,666
I was also not in love.
1783
01:22:20,799 --> 01:22:22,265
I was conducting an experiment
1784
01:22:22,399 --> 01:22:25,100
on how easy it is
to manipulate the male ego.
1785
01:22:25,232 --> 01:22:28,332
What?
I'm sorry I led you on.
1786
01:22:28,466 --> 01:22:30,733
Well, I have another confession.
1787
01:22:30,866 --> 01:22:33,399
Hmm. I was just pretending
to have a big ego
1788
01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:36,200
so as to make you think that
your experiment was working
1789
01:22:36,332 --> 01:22:38,365
so that I could conclude
my experiment on you.
1790
01:22:38,499 --> 01:22:40,265
Well, I had to lead you on
1791
01:22:40,399 --> 01:22:42,733
because I was doing an
experiment about how men think
1792
01:22:42,866 --> 01:22:44,865
they can manipulate female scientists
while they're doing experiments.
1793
01:22:44,866 --> 01:22:46,699
Well, I have another confession to make.
1794
01:22:47,799 --> 01:22:48,766
(HOLMES GRUNTS)
1795
01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:52,432
(BOTH MOAN AWKWARDLY)
1796
01:22:52,566 --> 01:22:53,833
(PANTING)
1797
01:22:53,966 --> 01:22:55,332
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
1798
01:22:55,466 --> 01:22:56,566
(SIGHS)
1799
01:22:58,332 --> 01:23:01,999
You will be shocked to learn
that was my first kiss.
1800
01:23:02,133 --> 01:23:04,532
Mine as well, and we've
already mastered it.
1801
01:23:04,666 --> 01:23:05,899
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
Yes, indeed.
1802
01:23:06,033 --> 01:23:07,733
All aboard!
1803
01:23:07,866 --> 01:23:10,365
She sails in 20 minutes!
1804
01:23:10,499 --> 01:23:12,299
MAN: Hurry, everyone!
Step lively!
1805
01:23:12,432 --> 01:23:14,966
HOLMES: Enjoy your trip
on the safest ship to sail.
1806
01:23:15,100 --> 01:23:16,399
Goodbye.
1807
01:23:16,532 --> 01:23:17,899
Farewell, Grace.
1808
01:23:18,033 --> 01:23:19,133
HOLMES: Goodbye, Millie.
1809
01:23:19,265 --> 01:23:21,699
Make sure you get plenty of bed rest.
1810
01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:23,399
There's a good chance you're pregnant.
1811
01:23:23,532 --> 01:23:24,566
I hope so.
1812
01:23:24,699 --> 01:23:26,232
From...
From the kissing?
1813
01:23:27,766 --> 01:23:29,466
Yes.
Oh, yes.
1814
01:23:30,866 --> 01:23:32,432
What a grand ship.
1815
01:23:32,566 --> 01:23:33,532
Yes.
1816
01:23:33,666 --> 01:23:35,699
(GASPS) Watson, look.
1817
01:23:36,599 --> 01:23:37,899
It's Billy Zane.
1818
01:23:39,100 --> 01:23:40,200
Sherlock.
(LAUGHS)
1819
01:23:41,866 --> 01:23:44,866
HOLMES: Wow.
He's breathtaking.
1820
01:23:44,999 --> 01:23:46,365
Where's the bar on this canoe?
1821
01:23:51,399 --> 01:23:53,100
Holmes.
Mmm.
1822
01:23:53,232 --> 01:23:55,432
I believe I may have solved
the one mystery
1823
01:23:55,566 --> 01:23:57,733
which has baffled you all these years.
1824
01:23:58,899 --> 01:24:00,066
What?
1825
01:24:01,499 --> 01:24:02,566
(GASPS)
1826
01:24:03,799 --> 01:24:04,899
Would you mind?
1827
01:24:07,200 --> 01:24:08,365
Ah.
1828
01:24:08,499 --> 01:24:09,599
Do you like it?
1829
01:24:09,733 --> 01:24:12,066
Let's see here. Huh?
1830
01:24:12,200 --> 01:24:14,100
Oh, it suits you.
Mmm.
1831
01:24:14,232 --> 01:24:16,599
I think it's perfect.
Really?
1832
01:24:16,733 --> 01:24:20,100
You're not just saying that?
No, I'm not just saying it.
1833
01:24:20,232 --> 01:24:22,265
Good.
Thank you, Watson.
1834
01:24:22,399 --> 01:24:24,166
And I have something for you as well.
1835
01:24:24,299 --> 01:24:26,599
No. No.
Please. Step over here.
1836
01:24:26,733 --> 01:24:29,332
Why?
I don't deserve anything.
1837
01:24:30,999 --> 01:24:31,999
My dear Watson.
1838
01:24:32,899 --> 01:24:34,566
What do you think?
1839
01:24:34,699 --> 01:24:36,100
It's beautiful.
1840
01:24:52,632 --> 01:24:54,033
(HORSES NEIGHING)
1841
01:24:54,166 --> 01:24:57,365
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1842
01:24:57,499 --> 01:25:01,566
(LIVELY CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)
1843
01:25:01,699 --> 01:25:03,733
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1844
01:25:03,866 --> 01:25:06,365
Telegram for Professor Moriarty.
1845
01:25:08,833 --> 01:25:09,799
Professor?
1846
01:25:17,265 --> 01:25:19,033
Boy, who sent this?
1846
01:25:20,305 --> 01:25:26,698
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