Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,453 --> 00:00:02,886
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:10,074
3
00:00:24,476 --> 00:00:27,378
All right, drink up.
We do not want to be late.
4
00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:28,945
Cory, don't worry.
We'll make it.
5
00:00:29,014 --> 00:00:31,315
Topanga, that's what
you said on Sunday,
6
00:00:31,383 --> 00:00:33,751
and we missed
most of 60 Minutes.
7
00:00:33,819 --> 00:00:36,887
Okay, it's not called
"15 minutes," Topanga.
8
00:00:38,389 --> 00:00:40,023
Where are Jack and Eric?
9
00:00:40,092 --> 00:00:41,392
You know,
we gotta get goin',
10
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:42,960
'cause the place
is gonna be packed.
11
00:00:43,027 --> 00:00:44,295
I bet you anything
12
00:00:44,362 --> 00:00:47,264
we're waiting because
of Jack and his hair.
13
00:00:47,332 --> 00:00:48,432
Where are you guys going?
14
00:00:48,499 --> 00:00:51,368
The Blue Room.
Oh, I hate that place.
15
00:00:51,503 --> 00:00:54,905
Loud music, tight
clothing, wild dancing.
16
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:58,342
Yeah, why would we ever
want to go there?
17
00:00:58,410 --> 00:01:00,911
I'm not goin', man.
It's fine!
18
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:04,181
It's not fine,
it's a disaster.
19
00:01:04,248 --> 00:01:06,383
You don't understand.
It's just...
20
00:01:06,451 --> 00:01:08,652
It's not holding, all right?
It's not holding!
21
00:01:09,388 --> 00:01:10,621
I like dancing.
22
00:01:10,688 --> 00:01:11,755
So why don't you come
with us?
23
00:01:11,856 --> 00:01:13,991
Because we have
other plans tonight,
24
00:01:14,058 --> 00:01:17,895
or did we forget about watching
the Doyle quintuplets on 20/20?
25
00:01:18,930 --> 00:01:20,397
We can tape it.
26
00:01:20,465 --> 00:01:23,300
Of all the nights
to run out of hair gel.
27
00:01:23,335 --> 00:01:26,670
No, no, no, taping it is
just not the same, Topanga.
28
00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:27,938
You know something, Jack?
29
00:01:28,006 --> 00:01:30,774
If I were a woman,
I'd think you were swell.
30
00:01:35,881 --> 00:01:37,081
Really?
31
00:01:39,117 --> 00:01:41,686
Okay, fine. Then we can watch
it and go with them afterwards.
32
00:01:41,787 --> 00:01:43,220
At 11:00 PM?
33
00:01:45,489 --> 00:01:47,157
You guys go
and have fun.
34
00:01:47,225 --> 00:01:49,426
Okay. You wouldn't
really have fun anyway.
35
00:01:49,494 --> 00:01:51,261
It's not your scene.
36
00:01:56,234 --> 00:01:57,501
Not our scene?
37
00:01:57,569 --> 00:02:00,337
What do they mean
by "not our scene"?
38
00:02:00,339 --> 00:02:03,173
Those quintuplets are
as cute as the Dickens.
39
00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:06,043
What, they think just because we're
married, we're not fun anymore?
40
00:02:06,111 --> 00:02:08,379
I'll tell you who's fun,
Ricky.
41
00:02:09,915 --> 00:02:11,348
Who's Ricky?
42
00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:13,450
Oh, he's the one that no
one thought would make it.
43
00:02:13,518 --> 00:02:14,885
You get 'em, Ricky!
44
00:02:16,621 --> 00:02:17,821
What did you
do that for?
45
00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:19,456
We are boring.
46
00:02:19,523 --> 00:02:22,025
According to who, Topanga, the
"in" crowd at the Blue Room?
47
00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:24,328
Our friends didn't even invite
us to go along with them.
48
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,862
Topanga, who cares,
all right?
49
00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:28,599
Now, turn on the humidifier
and come to bed. Let's go.
50
00:02:31,303 --> 00:02:32,603
(HUMIDIFIER BUZZING)
51
00:02:38,977 --> 00:02:41,212
We got everything we need
right here, don't we?
52
00:02:41,279 --> 00:02:42,813
I guess so.
53
00:02:42,881 --> 00:02:44,148
Spoons!
54
00:02:50,555 --> 00:02:52,422
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
55
00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:53,890
(SIGHS)
We're in a rut.
56
00:02:53,958 --> 00:02:56,293
Just because we're married
doesn't mean we have to be old.
57
00:02:56,361 --> 00:02:57,961
Old? Why, because
we choose to stay home
58
00:02:58,029 --> 00:03:01,265
and have a nice, quiet evening while
the others are out gallivanting around
59
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:02,966
trolling for happiness?
60
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:07,204
We have become
your parents.
61
00:03:11,042 --> 00:03:14,645
Never, never mention
my parents in bed.
62
00:03:14,712 --> 00:03:15,879
Never!
63
00:03:17,749 --> 00:03:19,883
Cory, we have to do
something drastic.
64
00:03:19,918 --> 00:03:21,318
Okay, okay, fine.
65
00:03:21,386 --> 00:03:23,387
Where are you going?
I am getting dressed,
66
00:03:23,455 --> 00:03:25,889
and we are going
to that blue fish room.
67
00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:28,726
No, no, no. Not like this. Not because
I'm forcing you to go with me.
68
00:03:29,528 --> 00:03:30,761
Okay, fine.
Back to bed.
69
00:03:32,063 --> 00:03:34,465
Cory, I just don't want
to be excluded anymore!
70
00:03:34,533 --> 00:03:36,233
I want to have fun.
71
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,634
All right.
Maybe you're right.
72
00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:39,804
Maybe I am becoming
a little set in my ways.
73
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,638
You want to show everyone
we're fun?
74
00:03:41,706 --> 00:03:44,208
That's all I'm saying. Okay,
tomorrow night, you and your old man
75
00:03:44,275 --> 00:03:47,945
are going to go to the hippest, hottest,
ragingest party anyone has ever seen.
76
00:03:48,012 --> 00:03:49,512
Really? Where?
77
00:03:49,581 --> 00:03:50,413
Right here!
78
00:03:50,481 --> 00:03:51,681
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
79
00:03:52,617 --> 00:03:53,984
Now, let's get to sleep.
80
00:03:54,052 --> 00:03:55,619
There's a 6:00 a.m. sale
at the Linen Loft,
81
00:03:55,687 --> 00:03:57,788
and guess
who's got coupons.
82
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:02,026
(LOUD BANGING)
83
00:04:02,093 --> 00:04:03,360
ERIC: Ow!
84
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:12,703
Morning, Eric.
85
00:04:12,770 --> 00:04:15,405
Make it better, Jack.
86
00:04:15,473 --> 00:04:17,073
All right, you know what?
For the last time,
87
00:04:17,141 --> 00:04:19,510
kissing the boo-boo
doesn't make it go away.
88
00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:21,344
You'll be fine.
89
00:04:21,412 --> 00:04:22,679
You know what, Jack,
I don't know.
90
00:04:22,747 --> 00:04:26,015
This boo-boo feels different.
It feels special.
91
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:29,219
I don't know. My nose is all
tickly, and I just feel like...
92
00:04:29,287 --> 00:04:30,954
(SNEEZES)
93
00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:33,924
You're gonna pour milk
into your cereal!
94
00:04:33,992 --> 00:04:36,060
Not that I'm gonna
eat it now.
95
00:04:36,127 --> 00:04:38,295
Jack, this is amazing!
96
00:04:38,363 --> 00:04:41,665
I sneezed, and I saw a vision of
you pouring milk onto your cereal!
97
00:04:42,834 --> 00:04:45,002
No, this is just more
background information
98
00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:47,203
for the nice people
at the asylum.
99
00:04:47,271 --> 00:04:49,073
You know,
they were nice.
100
00:04:51,109 --> 00:04:52,910
Jack, I'm telling you,
101
00:04:52,978 --> 00:04:56,213
smashing my head is what
gave me my special powers!
102
00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:58,648
When I sneeze,
I see the future!
103
00:04:58,716 --> 00:05:00,684
Wait a second,
I feel one coming on.
104
00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:03,687
(SNEEZES) There's a fire
at the Peterman warehouse!
105
00:05:03,754 --> 00:05:04,989
WOMAN ON TV:
This just in!
106
00:05:05,056 --> 00:05:07,558
There's a fireat the Peterman warehouse.
107
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:12,029
No, no, no,
this can't be happening.
108
00:05:12,096 --> 00:05:15,266
Yes, Jack, we've been
down this road before.
109
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:17,667
Something amazing happens
to me, you try to resist,
110
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:20,103
and I pull you down
anyway.
111
00:05:20,105 --> 00:05:23,941
Fine. I'm gonna
die either way.
112
00:05:24,008 --> 00:05:26,676
All right, I believe in your
stupid, little powers, Eric.
113
00:05:26,778 --> 00:05:28,645
All right!
See, that was painless.
114
00:05:28,713 --> 00:05:30,214
Now, the first thing
I believe we have to do
115
00:05:30,281 --> 00:05:32,716
is determine why God
gave me this power. Mmm.
116
00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:34,451
I wonder
why he gave it to me,
117
00:05:34,519 --> 00:05:37,121
and not someone like, say,
oh, I don't know, you?
118
00:05:38,556 --> 00:05:39,823
(SNEEZES)
119
00:05:40,425 --> 00:05:43,160
21, 46, 53!
120
00:05:43,227 --> 00:05:45,462
You snotted on me.
121
00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:49,033
Dude, 21, 46, 53, those are my
Nana Boo Boo's measurements!
122
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,467
She is hot!
123
00:05:53,838 --> 00:05:55,906
WOMAN ON TV: And hurry to
those lotto machines, folks.
124
00:05:55,973 --> 00:06:00,744
Tonight's Pennsylvania lottery
is nearly $4 million.
125
00:06:00,811 --> 00:06:04,681
Oh, no, no, those aren't Nana Boo Boo's
measurements, those are lottery numbers!
126
00:06:04,749 --> 00:06:07,518
No, the lottery's got
six numbers, Jack.
127
00:06:07,585 --> 00:06:10,253
You're right! That's right!
Come on, sneeze me the rest!
128
00:06:10,321 --> 00:06:11,888
I am not a carnival act.
129
00:06:11,956 --> 00:06:14,724
All right, I am a carnival act,
but my sneezing is a gift.
130
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,793
It's a gift that
should not be abused.
131
00:06:16,861 --> 00:06:19,163
Unless, of course, we can
use it to get chicks.
132
00:06:20,498 --> 00:06:21,899
We get those
lottery numbers,
133
00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:23,834
you can buy all the
chicks you want, okay?
134
00:06:23,901 --> 00:06:26,503
So, come on,
sneeze me the rest.
135
00:06:26,571 --> 00:06:29,005
(SNEEZES) The King of
Norway's having a fish!
136
00:06:30,775 --> 00:06:33,109
Come to our party.
Come to our party.
137
00:06:33,911 --> 00:06:35,312
Come to our party.
138
00:06:36,547 --> 00:06:37,748
Come to our party.
139
00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:39,849
Come to our party.
140
00:06:39,917 --> 00:06:41,585
What party?
141
00:06:41,653 --> 00:06:45,055
"Cory and Topanga's we-are-out-of-our-rut-
rip-roaring-party party."
142
00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:47,991
Wow.
143
00:06:48,058 --> 00:06:50,827
"Cake, ice cream, games,
surprises."
144
00:06:50,895 --> 00:06:52,529
Look, Shawn, "surprises."
145
00:06:53,598 --> 00:06:56,066
Hey, Cor,
what's with the party?
146
00:06:56,134 --> 00:06:59,469
What, a couple of people like
us can't throw a hoedown?
147
00:07:02,373 --> 00:07:03,707
Read this.
148
00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:07,277
You are out of your rut.
149
00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:09,713
That sounds good.
Congratulations.
150
00:07:09,781 --> 00:07:11,115
(CHUCKLES) All right!
151
00:07:11,182 --> 00:07:13,516
I want all you kids
to wear your tassels
152
00:07:13,584 --> 00:07:15,819
and your leather
and your get-up and such,
153
00:07:15,887 --> 00:07:18,421
and I will see you all
tonight!
154
00:07:19,991 --> 00:07:23,560
Tonight? Yes, tonight,
Saturday night.
155
00:07:23,628 --> 00:07:25,429
I know I've been out of
the loop for a while,
156
00:07:25,496 --> 00:07:28,264
but isn't that the night
y'all rabble-rouse?
157
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:31,801
Yes, it is, especially
this Saturday night.
158
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:35,906
Cory, your party is the same
night as Jerry Dervin's.
159
00:07:35,974 --> 00:07:37,507
So?
160
00:07:37,575 --> 00:07:41,244
Jerry Dervin's party is the
best party of the year.
161
00:07:41,312 --> 00:07:43,881
Oh, really? All right, look.
No big deal.
162
00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:46,583
We'll go to
Cory and Topanga's party,
163
00:07:46,651 --> 00:07:49,219
and then we'll go to Dervin's
party and have some fun.
164
00:07:53,024 --> 00:07:54,958
Excuse me?
165
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,461
Don't worry, Cory, we won't
leave until your party's over.
166
00:07:57,529 --> 00:07:59,396
What, your thing will be
done by 10:00, right?
167
00:07:59,463 --> 00:08:02,765
Look carefully, Shawn.
What does this say?
168
00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:05,135
"No parents allowed."
Nice touch.
169
00:08:05,203 --> 00:08:07,036
Thank you, thank you.
Read on.
170
00:08:07,105 --> 00:08:09,839
8:00 to question mark.
171
00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:11,975
"Question mark," Shawnie.
Do you know what that means?
172
00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:14,978
It means that nobody knows
when this party's gonna end.
173
00:08:15,046 --> 00:08:16,846
Okay? Do you know?
No.
174
00:08:16,848 --> 00:08:17,948
Do I know?
No.
175
00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:20,750
It's totally impossible
to predict!
176
00:08:20,819 --> 00:08:23,553
Cory, don't worry. We're gonna spend
plenty of time at your party.
177
00:08:23,588 --> 00:08:27,190
No, it's fine. You go to Dervin's and
make nice-nice with the cool kids.
178
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,292
But you are making
a big mistake, missy,
179
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,895
by doubting the power of
a Cory and Topanga party.
180
00:08:31,963 --> 00:08:35,699
Oh, sure, we won't be in leather,
but that's because I'm allergic
181
00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:38,602
and Topanga is a sweater.
182
00:08:38,670 --> 00:08:40,537
Cory, calm down.
We're comin' to your party.
183
00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:42,072
Don't do me
any favors, okay?
184
00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:44,141
The whole campus has
these fliers, Shawnie,
185
00:08:44,209 --> 00:08:48,611
so there might not even be room for
you or this thing on your face.
186
00:08:48,747 --> 00:08:50,413
Come on,
you don't mean that.
187
00:08:50,481 --> 00:08:53,016
Don't come to our party.
188
00:08:53,018 --> 00:08:54,417
Don't come to our party.
189
00:08:54,485 --> 00:08:55,986
Don't come to our party.
190
00:08:56,053 --> 00:08:57,487
Don't come to our party.
191
00:08:57,554 --> 00:08:59,155
Don't come to our party.
192
00:08:59,224 --> 00:09:00,890
But we'll compare notes
on Monday
193
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,493
about who went
to the better party.
194
00:09:04,495 --> 00:09:07,164
And I take notes
like a secretary.
195
00:09:17,942 --> 00:09:20,177
I still don't see why I have
to wear this stupid thing.
196
00:09:20,244 --> 00:09:22,545
Because you have
a propensity for...
197
00:09:24,949 --> 00:09:26,416
Head trauma.
198
00:09:30,154 --> 00:09:31,922
You don't care at all
about my head.
199
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:33,590
You just care about your
stupid lottery numbers!
200
00:09:33,658 --> 00:09:35,792
I mean, sure,
the helmet looks good,
201
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:38,128
but this wasn't a gift given out of
love, this was given out of greed.
202
00:09:38,196 --> 00:09:40,964
You know something, Jack? You
take all the fun out of sneezing.
203
00:09:41,031 --> 00:09:42,466
Okay, you know what?
204
00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:44,534
Sneeze, you baby!
205
00:09:44,602 --> 00:09:47,604
No, come on! No more pepper!
My nostrils hurt!
206
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,705
Sneeze!
No!
207
00:09:48,773 --> 00:09:50,140
Jackass!
No!
208
00:09:51,542 --> 00:09:52,676
Come on, man.
209
00:09:52,743 --> 00:09:56,846
Look, I got 21, 46, 53,
and then I got nothin'.
210
00:09:56,914 --> 00:09:58,948
I got nothin' here.
I need you to help me out.
211
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,251
All right? Come on. It's now or never.
Let's go.
212
00:10:02,119 --> 00:10:03,219
(SNEEZES)
213
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,254
Oh, my gosh.
214
00:10:05,322 --> 00:10:06,690
The numbers?
215
00:10:06,692 --> 00:10:09,159
No, someone's in trouble, Jack.
That's what I just sneezed.
216
00:10:09,226 --> 00:10:10,493
We've got to
get out of here.
217
00:10:11,328 --> 00:10:12,695
That's ridiculous.
218
00:10:13,397 --> 00:10:14,831
Who's in trouble?
219
00:10:14,899 --> 00:10:17,500
I don't know.
220
00:10:17,568 --> 00:10:19,336
But I do know
that he needs my help.
221
00:10:19,403 --> 00:10:21,771
God gave me these powers
to help people,
222
00:10:21,839 --> 00:10:25,075
not to give
stupid lottery numbers.
223
00:10:25,142 --> 00:10:27,110
I'm people! I'm people! Help me!
224
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,382
(SNEEZES) He's cheating on you.
(GASPS)
225
00:10:32,450 --> 00:10:35,151
(SNEEZES) And he's
gonna rob this place.
226
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:36,987
You know what?
You're just a bad guy!
227
00:10:42,093 --> 00:10:44,560
Topanga, could you come
in here for a moment?
228
00:10:44,996 --> 00:10:46,429
Oh, my!
229
00:10:46,497 --> 00:10:48,665
Honey, don't you think this
might be a little bit much?
230
00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:52,068
No, I think people appreciate
it when you go the extra mile.
231
00:10:52,136 --> 00:10:53,336
(OVEN DINGS)
232
00:10:53,404 --> 00:10:56,006
Oh, my quiches are done.
233
00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:58,842
You know, I thought people might
be a little tired of 20 questions,
234
00:10:58,909 --> 00:11:00,811
so I got a few other games.
235
00:11:00,878 --> 00:11:03,179
Oh, Cory, I think people might
be tired of... Oh! Clue!
236
00:11:03,248 --> 00:11:04,514
I haven't played that game
in years!
237
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:05,582
Exactly.
238
00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:07,617
That guy Dervin
may have flash,
239
00:11:07,685 --> 00:11:09,219
but we've got substance.
240
00:11:09,287 --> 00:11:12,555
This party is gonna be quite satisfying.
Taste this.
241
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:16,292
Mmm! Quiche-alicious!
242
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,361
Cory, you have to save some
for our guests.
243
00:11:18,429 --> 00:11:19,929
They're gonna be here
in two minutes.
244
00:11:19,997 --> 00:11:21,731
It's 7:58 already?
245
00:11:21,798 --> 00:11:23,633
I haven't even picked
the music yet!
246
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,101
What should we start with?
247
00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:27,504
I don't know. Put on
something we can dance to.
248
00:11:27,506 --> 00:11:30,306
That's exactly
what I was thinking.
249
00:11:30,374 --> 00:11:32,208
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
250
00:11:40,751 --> 00:11:43,786
Angela, if you tell me one more
time that we left Dervin's party
251
00:11:43,854 --> 00:11:46,022
right as you were about to
get your groove on, I'll...
252
00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:47,857
You'll what?
Nothing, dear.
253
00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:51,227
I was getting on my groove,
too, you know.
254
00:11:54,098 --> 00:11:57,033
What? It would've
happened eventually.
255
00:11:57,101 --> 00:12:00,269
Look, it's only 10:00. We'll
be back at Dervin's by 11:00.
256
00:12:00,337 --> 00:12:02,572
Cory does not
want us here, anyway.
257
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:03,973
That's what he said.
258
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:07,376
What he meant was, "If you don't,
I'll nag you till you bleed."
259
00:12:07,444 --> 00:12:08,644
(SIGHS)
260
00:12:14,051 --> 00:12:14,951
Damn!
261
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,654
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)
262
00:12:28,532 --> 00:12:30,566
Nobody came?
263
00:12:30,634 --> 00:12:31,901
I feel so bad.
264
00:12:31,969 --> 00:12:33,236
They look devastated.
265
00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:35,605
You know,
we should do something.
266
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,407
Where are you going?
267
00:12:37,475 --> 00:12:39,376
Back to Dervin's party.
268
00:12:44,315 --> 00:12:45,581
Cory?
269
00:12:45,649 --> 00:12:46,916
Yeah, honey?
270
00:12:47,751 --> 00:12:49,752
Nobody came to our party.
271
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:51,554
I know.
272
00:12:52,123 --> 00:12:53,623
I almost left.
273
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,627
That's it. We are a
boring married couple
274
00:12:57,695 --> 00:12:58,895
who doesn't know
how to have fun.
275
00:12:58,963 --> 00:13:00,396
No, we're not
a boring couple.
276
00:13:00,465 --> 00:13:03,299
We're a young, vibrant,
healthy, exciting couple
277
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:05,869
who've been saddled
with superficial friends,
278
00:13:05,937 --> 00:13:08,705
who wouldn't know a good party
if it fell on their heads!
279
00:13:10,107 --> 00:13:11,507
Maybe.
280
00:13:15,779 --> 00:13:19,048
You know, maybe it's a good
thing that no one showed up.
281
00:13:19,116 --> 00:13:20,683
You know what I'm saying?
282
00:13:20,751 --> 00:13:23,486
I mean, those quiches
weren't your best.
283
00:13:26,357 --> 00:13:28,091
What?
284
00:13:28,159 --> 00:13:29,692
(STAMMERING) No. Don't get me wrong.
They were great.
285
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:33,263
I'm just saying, you know,
you've made better.
286
00:13:33,331 --> 00:13:35,732
It's a compliment, really.
287
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,067
Really?
288
00:13:38,135 --> 00:13:40,603
Well, do you want
a compliment from me?
289
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:43,005
Bite me.
290
00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:46,542
Excuse me?
291
00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:48,378
Well, maybe nobody came to
the party to eat my quiches
292
00:13:48,446 --> 00:13:51,481
because they read your
great jokes on the fliers.
293
00:13:51,549 --> 00:13:54,117
"Come join our party,
it'll be party-rific!"
294
00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:56,085
"Buckle up for the ride
to funville!"
295
00:13:56,153 --> 00:13:57,520
What is that?
296
00:13:57,621 --> 00:13:59,655
Uh, it's called wit.
297
00:13:59,723 --> 00:14:02,192
And it wasn't the jokes
that kept people away...
298
00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:04,594
Was it the signs
on the doors?
299
00:14:04,661 --> 00:14:05,895
No.
300
00:14:05,963 --> 00:14:07,798
Because I guess
not as many people
301
00:14:07,865 --> 00:14:10,267
were "authorized for fun"
as you thought.
302
00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:12,502
Well, what about
your dumb dance music?
303
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:14,370
I mean,
that really packed 'em in!
304
00:14:14,438 --> 00:14:16,105
Oh, my dumb music?
305
00:14:16,173 --> 00:14:18,341
Are you sure
you don't mean "dumb-tastic"?
306
00:14:18,409 --> 00:14:19,943
Or "super-duper-dumb-dumb"?
307
00:14:21,279 --> 00:14:22,779
You know what, Topanga?
308
00:14:22,846 --> 00:14:24,381
You were the one that
started this whole thing.
309
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,416
(MIMICKING) "I want to
be hip, we're in a rut."
310
00:14:26,484 --> 00:14:29,352
I was perfectly happy staying
home on a Saturday night
311
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:30,553
and doing nothing.
312
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:32,922
Well, I'm not.
I want to go out, Cory.
313
00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:34,991
I want to have fun!
I want to be wild!
314
00:14:35,059 --> 00:14:36,526
Wild? Ha!
315
00:14:36,594 --> 00:14:39,796
You wouldn't last 10 minutes
in those nightclubs!
316
00:14:39,798 --> 00:14:41,297
Cram it, old man.
317
00:14:44,768 --> 00:14:46,602
That is it!
318
00:14:47,738 --> 00:14:49,405
(SQUEALS)
319
00:14:49,473 --> 00:14:51,607
Oh, my...
(LAUGHING)
320
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:55,711
(SCREAMING)
321
00:14:55,779 --> 00:14:57,547
Topanga, you're goin' down!
322
00:14:57,615 --> 00:14:59,149
You want more,
Mr. Rogers?
323
00:14:59,216 --> 00:15:01,751
Oh, a shot at my sweater?
Very funny!
324
00:15:01,886 --> 00:15:03,819
What about your wild
little get-up, huh?
325
00:15:03,887 --> 00:15:05,455
When's the PTA meeting?
326
00:15:05,522 --> 00:15:07,590
Mr. Rogers!
327
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:09,125
Soccer mom!
(SCREAMING)
328
00:15:09,193 --> 00:15:11,027
Cory, this was
a nice blouse!
329
00:15:11,095 --> 00:15:13,262
Yeah? And now it's a ripped one!
330
00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:18,101
It's off your shoulder
a little bit there.
331
00:15:19,036 --> 00:15:20,270
Yeah.
332
00:15:20,338 --> 00:15:22,272
I could say the same thing
about yours.
333
00:15:22,373 --> 00:15:23,873
(BOTH PANTING)
334
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:31,081
We're in the middle
of nowhere, Eric.
335
00:15:31,148 --> 00:15:32,915
Something bad's gonna happen here, Jack.
I feel it.
336
00:15:32,983 --> 00:15:35,317
Wait a minute, something
bad is happening.
337
00:15:35,385 --> 00:15:38,988
You're costing me $4 million.
$4 million!
338
00:15:39,056 --> 00:15:41,391
Give me my numbers!
Hey, hey, hey!
339
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:44,027
Obviously, Jack, you've never
had superpowers, okay?
340
00:15:44,094 --> 00:15:45,929
So you don't know
what's goin' on.
341
00:15:45,996 --> 00:15:48,465
Look, Jack,
don't you get it?
342
00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:51,134
There is no way that money
could be nearly as satisfying
343
00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:53,035
as what we were
brought here to do!
344
00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:55,438
Look around you, Eric!
There's no one here to save!
345
00:15:58,843 --> 00:16:01,011
(GRUNTS)
Now gimme my numbers!
346
00:16:01,078 --> 00:16:03,413
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
347
00:16:03,481 --> 00:16:04,580
(SNEEZES)
348
00:16:04,648 --> 00:16:06,282
12! 22! 42!
349
00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:07,617
(SOBBING)
350
00:16:12,089 --> 00:16:13,356
What was that?
351
00:16:13,424 --> 00:16:15,758
(CRYING)
I said, "12, 22, 42."
352
00:16:15,826 --> 00:16:19,262
The numbers! Yes, all right.
Thank you, buddy.
353
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:21,063
Yeah, that's right!
You know what?
354
00:16:21,131 --> 00:16:22,798
You take your numbers,
and you remember
355
00:16:22,866 --> 00:16:25,235
as you're sitting there with
your $4 million that to get it,
356
00:16:25,302 --> 00:16:28,138
you had to bash your best
friend's head against a dumpster.
357
00:16:31,274 --> 00:16:32,675
You had a helmet on.
358
00:16:34,978 --> 00:16:36,913
It was you!
359
00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:39,148
What was me? What are
you talking about?
360
00:16:39,216 --> 00:16:40,850
It was you all along!
361
00:16:43,887 --> 00:16:45,588
He's reachin' out
to you, Jack.
362
00:16:46,724 --> 00:16:48,224
He's tryin' to save you.
363
00:16:48,292 --> 00:16:51,160
(CHUCKLES) Save me?
364
00:16:51,228 --> 00:16:54,363
That's right.
Save you from your greed.
365
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:56,266
My vision was about you.
366
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,036
He's right.
367
00:17:01,371 --> 00:17:03,572
You're the one in danger.
368
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:07,677
Yeah. Yeah, Jack, I mean, look
what this lottery has done to you,
369
00:17:07,745 --> 00:17:09,979
and you haven't even
won it yet.
370
00:17:15,886 --> 00:17:18,254
(EXHALES)
You're right.
371
00:17:18,256 --> 00:17:21,190
You know,
I let greed take me over.
372
00:17:21,258 --> 00:17:22,492
(SIGHS)
373
00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,294
I didn't care
what happened to you,
374
00:17:24,361 --> 00:17:26,529
what happened
to our friendship.
375
00:17:27,431 --> 00:17:28,831
You know,
it's unbelievable,
376
00:17:28,899 --> 00:17:30,633
the things that people
will do for money.
377
00:17:33,504 --> 00:17:35,338
Oh, well.
Off to buy me a ticket.
378
00:17:41,912 --> 00:17:43,412
Hey, we tried.
379
00:17:45,883 --> 00:17:47,783
This party better
be good, Hunter.
380
00:17:47,852 --> 00:17:49,452
Dervin's party was awesome.
381
00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:51,187
Shut up, Dervin.
382
00:17:52,923 --> 00:17:55,558
All right, I'm gonna
go over this one more time.
383
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,860
On the other side
of this door, it's ugly.
384
00:17:57,928 --> 00:18:02,665
These people are wonderful, but
they're incredibly square.
385
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,767
And, remember, nobody
gets their 20 bucks
386
00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:07,470
unless they stay
the full hour.
387
00:18:07,538 --> 00:18:09,506
This was a really
sweet thing to do, Shawn.
388
00:18:09,573 --> 00:18:11,240
I just hope
we're not too late.
389
00:18:18,249 --> 00:18:20,216
This is the best party
I've ever been to.
390
00:18:21,084 --> 00:18:22,418
Topanga, I was wrong.
391
00:18:23,154 --> 00:18:25,221
I love your quiche.
392
00:18:25,289 --> 00:18:26,589
(LAUGHS)
393
00:18:26,657 --> 00:18:29,559
I love every boring bone
in your body.
394
00:18:29,627 --> 00:18:31,861
Really? Let's never
go anywhere again.
395
00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:39,202
You think they do that
every night?
396
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:42,271
Well, gosh, that's probably
why they go home at 9:00.
397
00:18:42,339 --> 00:18:44,306
Whoa, hey!
Okay, party's over.
398
00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:46,409
There's no way we're
gonna save this one.
399
00:18:46,477 --> 00:18:48,411
I'm goin' back
to Dervin's.
400
00:18:48,479 --> 00:18:50,012
You are Dervin.
401
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:58,054
I cannot believe that we felt
sorry for Cory and Topanga.
402
00:18:58,121 --> 00:19:01,624
I know. I mean,
I feel sorry for us.
403
00:19:01,691 --> 00:19:03,459
I wonder what their
food bill is a month.
404
00:19:04,962 --> 00:19:07,530
I don't know. You know, let's
just go back to Dervin's.
405
00:19:08,298 --> 00:19:09,933
Yeah.
406
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,336
You know what? Forget Dervin's.
Let's just go to a grocery store.
407
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,911
Eric, quick, come out here! No!
408
00:19:23,881 --> 00:19:26,382
Come on.
I said I'm sorry.
409
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:29,351
You're not sorry,
you're evil!
410
00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,754
Well, just sit down and
watch me get filthy rich.
411
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:34,357
They're about to announce
the winning lottery numbers.
412
00:19:34,425 --> 00:19:35,392
That's blood money!
413
00:19:35,459 --> 00:19:38,227
I'll give you half.
Oh. Turn it up.
414
00:19:38,295 --> 00:19:40,763
WOMAN ON TV: And here are tonight's
winning lotto numbers...
415
00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,898
I'm gonna buy myself
a new helmet.
416
00:19:42,966 --> 00:19:48,104
...32, 6, 27, 18, 9, 2.
417
00:19:48,172 --> 00:19:49,572
We're rich!
418
00:19:52,176 --> 00:19:53,943
No, we're not.
419
00:19:53,945 --> 00:19:55,511
Those aren't the numbers
you gave me!
420
00:19:55,579 --> 00:19:58,148
This is worthless,
and you're worthless! Here!
421
00:19:58,215 --> 00:20:01,317
No, Jack, no! Eat it! Eat
it, you psychic snot liar!
422
00:20:01,385 --> 00:20:02,818
WOMAN ON TV: So much for
the New York Lottery.
423
00:20:02,887 --> 00:20:06,256
Now for the $4 millionPennsylvania lottery.
424
00:20:06,323 --> 00:20:08,491
Oh, my God.
425
00:20:08,558 --> 00:20:09,926
The winning numbers are,
426
00:20:09,994 --> 00:20:16,465
21, 46, 53, 12, 22, 42.
427
00:20:16,533 --> 00:20:17,934
And in other news...
428
00:20:18,002 --> 00:20:19,535
Well, that's a coincidence.
429
00:20:31,482 --> 00:20:32,515
(SNEEZES)
430
00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:34,551
Oh, what you're
gonna do to me!
431
00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:41,857
Cory, come quick!
432
00:20:41,925 --> 00:20:44,661
John Stossel is doing
an expose on tainted meat!
433
00:20:52,269 --> 00:20:56,506
Now, I ask you, would you rather be
spending the night at some glitzy club,
434
00:20:56,573 --> 00:20:59,008
or learning how to spot
a bad brisket?
435
00:20:59,076 --> 00:21:01,143
You're right, brisket.
436
00:21:01,278 --> 00:21:04,480
I mean, it's not like I don't enjoy
dancing or going out and having fun.
437
00:21:04,548 --> 00:21:07,450
It's just that the best time I
have is when I'm here with you.
438
00:21:10,788 --> 00:21:13,990
Oh, look,
bad flank steak.
439
00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:19,829
I love you.
439
00:21:20,305 --> 00:21:26,679
32725
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
