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KATIE: This is Katie Otto.
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00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:03,599
I am confirming that
the gender reveal cake
3
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,119
will be ready for
pick-up this afternoon.
4
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:07,219
Thank you.
5
00:00:07,220 --> 00:00:08,529
Gender reveal cake?
6
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:11,029
When you cut into it, the
filling is either pink or blue
7
00:00:11,030 --> 00:00:13,119
to announce if the baby
is a boy or a girl.
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Aww, that's adorable!
9
00:00:14,994 --> 00:00:16,079
It's obnoxious.
10
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,239
Have some class, and find out
the old-fashioned way...
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00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,299
look at its junk when it
comes out of your body.
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00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:21,909
TAYLOR: Anna-Kat, stop!
13
00:00:21,910 --> 00:00:23,369
Give me back my phone, you little...
14
00:00:23,370 --> 00:00:25,003
Taylor, don't you dare!
15
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I'm the only one in this house
who is allowed to swear.
16
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[BLEEP]
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00:00:30,009 --> 00:00:31,399
- See?
- She was in my room,
18
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,119
and she stole my phone again!
19
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,029
She was on my Instagram,
liking my posts!
20
00:00:35,030 --> 00:00:37,079
Now, people think I'm
liking my own posts!
21
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,779
Do you know how embarrassing that is?!
22
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:40,579
Do you realize you only
have two voices...
23
00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:42,869
normal and... [PANICKED] "My
parachute's not opening!"
24
00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:45,739
Stop taking Taylor's phone.
25
00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:47,779
Maybe she would stop if
she had her own phone.
26
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,529
She's not getting a phone.
27
00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:52,599
No one in this house gets a
phone until they are 14.
28
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,029
But every year, on your birthday,
29
00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:55,489
you say that age is just a number
30
00:00:55,490 --> 00:00:57,020
that means absolutely nothing.
31
00:00:58,030 --> 00:01:00,038
Greg...
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No phone for you.
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00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,139
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00:01:03,140 --> 00:01:04,219
[QUIETLY] Thanks, honey.
35
00:01:04,220 --> 00:01:05,300
She had me boxed in.
36
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:11,200
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
37
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,040
38
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,699
What kind of watch are you looking for?
39
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:19,619
A knock-around one I can
wear with sneakers...
40
00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:21,529
mid-five-figures, tops.
41
00:01:21,530 --> 00:01:23,909
My friend at Numble told
me they're about to patent
42
00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:25,989
a new optical fiber technology.
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00:01:25,990 --> 00:01:27,659
The news doesn't break until next week,
44
00:01:27,660 --> 00:01:28,869
so if you put down a little now,
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00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:31,100
it'll be worth a fortune on Monday.
46
00:01:31,820 --> 00:01:35,073
Hey, I just overheard those
guys talking about a stock tip.
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If I invest what I've saved from
working at Tuscadero's Pizza,
48
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I could make some serious money.
49
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:41,319
[SCOFFS] Amigo, you
can't trust random guys
50
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:44,759
to have legitimate information
about the market.
51
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,909
Hold up. Prada suits, Gucci Oxfords,
52
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and their hair pomades have
hold but a matte finish.
53
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,449
[SCOFFS] They check out.
54
00:01:52,450 --> 00:01:54,029
The problem is, I'm not 18,
55
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which means I can't open a
brokerage account on my own.
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00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:57,819
I'll need my parents' help.
57
00:01:57,820 --> 00:02:00,098
I remember when I got my
first brokerage account.
58
00:02:00,099 --> 00:02:02,159
I called it my "bwo-bwo."
59
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,489
I know. I was adorable.
60
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:04,529
No. No, you weren't.
61
00:02:04,530 --> 00:02:07,869
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00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:09,529
I just want them to stop fighting.
63
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,619
Anna-Kat keeps taking Taylor's phone,
64
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,529
which is driving her crazy,
which is driving me crazy.
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00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:15,989
So, get her her own phone.
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00:02:15,990 --> 00:02:18,869
I got them for all my kids
so they'd leave me alone.
67
00:02:18,870 --> 00:02:20,529
My baby calls Siri "Mama".
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00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:21,909
Okay, that's bananas.
69
00:02:21,910 --> 00:02:23,699
Phones are an epidemic with kids today.
70
00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:26,039
They destroy their social skills
and distort their self-worth.
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00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,050
I'm with Angela.
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00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:28,839
And research shows that they also stunt
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- brain development.
- 100%.
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That's why I sometimes
communicate with my kids
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00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,619
silently through meditation.
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00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,369
You always do that.
77
00:02:36,370 --> 00:02:37,739
You get me in the car with you,
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00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,279
we are heading to the same destination,
79
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,529
and then, you just veer
right off a cliff.
80
00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:43,449
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
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[CELLPHONE CLICKING]
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If you don't want Anna-Kat
obsessing over a phone,
83
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,369
then maybe get off yours.
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00:02:48,370 --> 00:02:49,529
Lead by example.
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[CHUCKLES] You know I don't do that.
86
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,153
- [BABY CRYING]
- Oh, don't worry.
87
00:02:55,154 --> 00:02:56,699
Mama's coming.
88
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:57,869
[CHUCKLES]
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[QUIETLY] Bananas.
90
00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:01,279
91
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,579
Hey, Dad.
92
00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:04,529
Hey, Oliver.
93
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:07,159
I was wondering if you'd help
me open a brokerage account.
94
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,579
- I don't see why not.
- Great.
95
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,799
I want to put all my money
into a company called Numble.
96
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,019
Well, have you done your research?
97
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:14,819
I overheard this Wall Street
guy talking about it.
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00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,999
He had inside information.
It's a sure thing.
99
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,519
Oliver, inside information
100
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,520
is the same thing as insider
trading, and that's illegal.
101
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[CLICKS TONGUE] Illegal or frowned upon?
102
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Illegal!
103
00:03:25,180 --> 00:03:27,579
And there's no way I will
allow you to do that.
104
00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:29,619
[MUTTERING]
105
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What did you just say?
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Nothing.
107
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:36,120
No, if you have something to
say, you say it to my face.
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00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,199
[SIGHS]
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00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,659
Just because you're okay living
like the "before" picture
110
00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:43,119
in "Extreme Makeover Home Edition"
111
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,899
doesn't mean you should expect me to.
112
00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:46,779
I'm not asking you to not have ambition,
113
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but I expect you to be honest.
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Fine. You've never taken one chance.
115
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,439
You've always played it safe,
and look where it's got you.
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[SCOFFS]
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[LUTHOR WHIMPERS]
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I take risks every day.
119
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Brown belt, black shoes...
that takes guts.
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[LUTHOR GROANS]
121
00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:01,980
Why am I talking to you?
You're color-blind.
122
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,659
I'm finally fed up with him.
123
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,759
Even if our theory is true
124
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,599
that we brought the wrong
kid home from the hospital,
125
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,319
we still had 15 years to fix him.
126
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,960
It's starting to look
like this is on us.
127
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,239
I'm super-busy right now.
128
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:12,379
Can this just be on you?
129
00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:14,740
You said you had an easy day and
only had to pick up a cake.
130
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,319
I forgot I told you that.
131
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,239
I yell at him... That doesn't work.
132
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I try to lead by example... He
thinks I'm a cautionary tale.
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00:04:22,910 --> 00:04:25,243
Leading by example is a
huge pain in the ass.
134
00:04:25,244 --> 00:04:27,419
Before you know it, you are
serving fruit for dessert
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00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:28,429
like a damn animal.
136
00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:29,959
I just don't know how I'm
gonna get through to him.
137
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,369
Well, maybe you have to
try something different.
138
00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:35,253
Whatever you normally would
do, do the opposite.
139
00:04:35,254 --> 00:04:36,449
Huh.
140
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,159
TAYLOR: Mom, I need you!
141
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,239
Any chance she's calling
me up there for a hug?
142
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,699
Or to show you her finished homework?
143
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,369
Or to offer insightful commentary
144
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,529
about a book she just read?
145
00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:46,659
[BOTH LAUGH]
146
00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:48,369
Mom!
147
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,269
[BOTH SIGH]
148
00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:51,959
Hey.
149
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,119
You know your scenario where
you run away to Mexico?
150
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,274
I'm going with you.
151
00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:56,279
Okay.
152
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:58,819
But I'm going to need my
sexual freedom down there.
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00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,269
Fine.
154
00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:03,119
But then my fanny pack and
ponytail are back on the table.
155
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,149
156
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:05,283
TAYLOR: Mom!
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00:05:05,284 --> 00:05:06,619
What is it!
158
00:05:06,620 --> 00:05:08,029
Anna-Kat's been going through my things,
159
00:05:08,030 --> 00:05:09,579
and she stole my phone again!
160
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:11,779
- I want it back.
- Relax.
161
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,529
There is an easy way to find it.
162
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:16,579
[CELLPHONE CLICKING]
163
00:05:16,580 --> 00:05:19,119
Huh.
164
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,599
I found Taylor's phone.
165
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,819
And I changed your wallpaper.
166
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[SCOFFS]
167
00:05:25,304 --> 00:05:27,750
Look, it's me waving.
168
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:29,819
Hi.
169
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:31,619
Mom, you need to get her her own phone!
170
00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:34,369
For the 100th time,
that is not happening.
171
00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:35,869
Then I have a better idea.
172
00:05:35,870 --> 00:05:38,199
Buy me a phone, and Anna-Kat
can have my old one.
173
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,319
Everyone wins.
174
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,239
When I was your age, there
were no cellphones,
175
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,619
and I was better for it.
176
00:05:42,620 --> 00:05:44,699
I went out into the
world, talked to people,
177
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:47,239
got strangers to buy me
beer outside 7-Eleven.
178
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,779
It was an all-American childhood.
179
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:49,869
Look at you now.
180
00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:51,419
You use your phone as much as anyone.
181
00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:52,759
But I don't need to.
182
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,300
You couldn't survive a
single day without it.
183
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:59,279
Is that what you think?
184
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,079
It's what I know.
185
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,019
KATIE: Crap, I guess I
have to lead by example.
186
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:04,699
I should've just bred dogs.
187
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,449
Okay. How about this...
188
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,869
If I can go until tonight
without using my phone,
189
00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:11,079
then there will be no
more talk of Anna-Kat
190
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,319
getting a phone until
I decide it's time.
191
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,353
And if you use your phone,
192
00:06:15,354 --> 00:06:17,489
you have to buy me a new one,
and Anna-Kat gets my old one.
193
00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:18,869
You got it.
194
00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:21,659
But I'm going phone-free,
then you are, too.
195
00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:22,949
You can't do that to me!
196
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,579
How will I know what's
happening in the world?!
197
00:06:24,580 --> 00:06:26,819
By opening your eyes and
participating in it.
198
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,019
Disgusting.
199
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,449
And to make sure that you don't cheat,
200
00:06:29,450 --> 00:06:32,079
you are coming with me to pick
up the cake for the baby shower.
201
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:33,319
This is so not fair!
202
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,529
You know what's not fair? What
you kids did to this body!
203
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,489
I'm 9, Mom.
204
00:06:38,490 --> 00:06:41,139
You can't blame me for that
anymore. At some point,
205
00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:43,880
you have to start taking
some responsibility.
206
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,369
Never.
207
00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:47,940
208
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,550
KATIE: [SIGHS]
209
00:06:53,559 --> 00:06:57,699
See, you made it here without using GPS.
210
00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:59,279
Am I the only one who noticed
211
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,159
we drove past our own house twice?
212
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,699
Okay. I'm gonna go pick up the cake,
213
00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:03,719
and then walk it to the restaurant
214
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:04,779
where the baby shower is.
215
00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:06,989
You two just hang out on Main Street.
216
00:07:06,990 --> 00:07:08,573
I'll meet you back here in an hour.
217
00:07:08,574 --> 00:07:10,489
How are we supposed to
contact you if we need you?
218
00:07:10,490 --> 00:07:11,559
For thousands of years,
219
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,340
when kids were away from their parents,
220
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,079
they met at an agreed-upon time.
221
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,619
But how will I know what time it is?
222
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,583
- A clock?
- Disgusting.
223
00:07:18,584 --> 00:07:20,159
[GROANS]
224
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,869
225
00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:23,579
I should've known my
dad wouldn't help me.
226
00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:24,989
I wish I could offer some advice,
227
00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:27,239
but I have no experience in
not getting what I want.
228
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:30,119
My dad's holding my
financial future hostage.
229
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,529
He doesn't understand me.
230
00:07:32,530 --> 00:07:35,619
[SIGHS] I wish I could
talk to someone who does.
231
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,119
Wait.
232
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,604
Maybe I can.
233
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,279
What's that?
234
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,619
Spencer's lawyer gave
me these after he died.
235
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:51,079
Spencer, the rich old guy
who lived across the street
236
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,618
with the great tan and
the amazing laugh?
237
00:07:53,619 --> 00:07:55,319
[IMITATES DEEP LAUGH] Ha-ha-ha!
238
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,120
Spencer was the best.
239
00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:01,239
He made these tapes to give me advice
240
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,629
for every conceivable life situation.
241
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,219
OLIVER: There must be
something on these tapes
242
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,319
that will help me.
243
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,869
SPENCER: So, Ollie boy, here's
how you hide your money
244
00:08:09,870 --> 00:08:11,239
when the Feds are onto you.
245
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,620
Interesting. [CHUCKLES]
246
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,369
So, Ollie boy, here's what you do
247
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:18,643
when you sweat so much
while you're dancing
248
00:08:18,644 --> 00:08:20,779
you can't take off your leather pants.
249
00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:22,120
Ha-ha-ha.
250
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,199
Ollie boy, this might not apply to you,
251
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,699
but here's how you win
back Daryl Hannah.
252
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:29,540
- [CHUCKLES]
- [CHUCKLES]
253
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:31,479
So, Ollie boy,
254
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,989
you're wondering how much to tip
255
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:35,199
your human sushi tray.
256
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,439
Ollie boy, this is how you
make your first million.
257
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:39,909
This is the one I was looking for.
258
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:42,000
If you're watching this, my gut tells me
259
00:08:42,020 --> 00:08:44,119
you're sitting on something good.
260
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,529
And if that's true,
261
00:08:45,530 --> 00:08:48,299
do whatever you have to
do to get the job done.
262
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:50,409
Be ruthless.
263
00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:53,239
Feel free to call my
lawyer, Linda Ramirez.
264
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,369
Now, she knows how to get things done.
265
00:08:56,370 --> 00:09:00,119
And if you're over 21, she's
fun to have a drink with.
266
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,620
Ha-ha.
267
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,489
I knew Spencer would
have the perfect advice.
268
00:09:05,490 --> 00:09:08,693
Would you mind if we circled
back to that Daryl Hannah tape?
269
00:09:08,694 --> 00:09:09,779
What?
270
00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:10,909
You're not curious?
271
00:09:10,910 --> 00:09:15,449
272
00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:16,529
Hi.
273
00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:17,659
I'm here to pick up a cake.
274
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:19,529
Okay. I'll just need your
confirmation number.
275
00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:21,279
Oh, sure.
276
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,239
It's in my phone, which
I don't have on me.
277
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,449
That's all right. I can
look it up in the system.
278
00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:28,713
- What's your name?
- Katie Otto.
279
00:09:28,714 --> 00:09:29,869
Here it is.
280
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,699
Now, if I could just see some ID.
281
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:34,409
[INHALES DEEPLY]
282
00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:36,279
Left my wallet in the car.
283
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,819
Can you just take my word for it?
284
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,159
I'm kind of in a hurry.
285
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,199
I'm afraid not.
286
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,659
It's against company policy.
287
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,728
It's called Bernice's Cakes.
288
00:09:43,729 --> 00:09:45,079
You're Bernice.
289
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,159
It's your policy.
290
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,869
I can't break my own policy.
291
00:09:47,870 --> 00:09:50,079
How would that look to my employees?
292
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,369
You're the only one here!
293
00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:52,779
I used to bring my dog to work,
294
00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:54,879
but the guy from the health
department got all in a tizzy!
295
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,029
[MUTTERING] I'm gonna go get my ID.
296
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,579
Anything else you need, Bernice?
297
00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:59,179
Fingerprints, blood samples?
298
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,579
You want me to pee in a cup?
299
00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:02,579
Restrooms are for employees only.
300
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:03,748
[SINGSONG VOICE] Company policy.
301
00:10:03,749 --> 00:10:05,409
I really don't like you, Bernice.
302
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:08,029
303
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,279
I got mint chip.
304
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:12,279
Want to try it before I'm done?
305
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,529
Is this thing on? [LAUGHS]
306
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,640
This is the worst.
307
00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:17,699
I can't take a photo of
my ice cream and post it.
308
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,420
I mean, what's the point
of just eating it?
309
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:23,768
310
00:10:23,769 --> 00:10:25,120
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
311
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:27,629
_
312
00:10:27,630 --> 00:10:33,779
313
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:39,449
Okay. Spencer's lawyer said my
best option is to emancipate.
314
00:10:39,450 --> 00:10:40,799
What exactly does that mean?
315
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:41,909
They give up their parental rights,
316
00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:43,279
and then, I'm legally an adult.
317
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,119
Then, I can spend money
on whatever stock I want.
318
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:46,129
And once you're legal,
319
00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:48,279
you can take us to Enterprise
and rent us a Corolla.
320
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,859
You have, like, 15 Maseratis.
321
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:51,029
Why would you want to rent a car?
322
00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:53,798
Sometimes, it's just fun
to live like a normie.
323
00:10:53,799 --> 00:10:55,239
That's what I call you guys.
324
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,199
Yeah, I got that. Thank you.
325
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,119
It says here, in order to emancipate,
326
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,199
your parents have to sign off on it.
327
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,369
Or you could take them to
court, and let a judge decide.
328
00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:05,679
Okay.
329
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,240
Like Spencer said,
330
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,319
I have to do whatever I have to do.
331
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,489
Be ruthless.
332
00:11:10,490 --> 00:11:12,079
You want to know how I
made my first million?
333
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,818
I can't imagine I want to hear this.
334
00:11:13,819 --> 00:11:15,819
I beat my dad in mini-golf when I was 6.
335
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:21,869
336
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:24,420
Damn it. Taylor's got the keys.
337
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,833
And I don't have my phone!
338
00:11:28,834 --> 00:11:30,079
[GROANS]
339
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,319
You know what? I'll just find them.
340
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:38,844
341
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,779
Excuse me, did you happen to
see my daughters walk by?
342
00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:45,459
A blonde about this tall and
a brunette about this tall?
343
00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:47,369
- Do you have a picture?
- I have like 1,000,
344
00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:49,299
but they're on my phone,
and I don't have it.
345
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:50,369
Oh. Why not?
346
00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:52,119
Because I'm trying to set a
good example for my kids
347
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,858
by not relying on phones.
348
00:11:53,859 --> 00:11:55,409
You know what, that's a good point.
349
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,409
I've been spending too
much time on my phone.
350
00:11:57,410 --> 00:12:00,259
And if it's not my phone,
it's my TV or my iPad,
351
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:01,869
and then, there's the computer.
352
00:12:01,870 --> 00:12:03,239
Oh, and do you know about these watches?
353
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,780
I don't have time for this.
354
00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:08,140
Hey, you started talking to me, lady!
355
00:12:10,820 --> 00:12:11,989
Try one on!
356
00:12:11,990 --> 00:12:13,879
Nah, I'm good.
357
00:12:16,580 --> 00:12:17,920
Here.
358
00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:22,799
[LAUGHS] Perfect.
359
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,489
You look like Sadness from "Inside Out."
360
00:12:25,490 --> 00:12:31,700
361
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:37,990
362
00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:43,908
363
00:12:43,909 --> 00:12:46,579
[GASPS]
364
00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:49,529
We should do matching fake eyelashes!
365
00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:51,699
God, I hope Mom's cheating
and using her phone
366
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,579
so I can get a new one.
367
00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:56,869
Can you stop worrying about
your phone for 10 minutes?
368
00:12:56,870 --> 00:12:59,139
[SIGHS] You should hope
she's cheating, too,
369
00:12:59,140 --> 00:13:01,529
- so you get one, as well.
- I don't want one.
370
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,119
Then why do you keep stealing mine?
371
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:06,489
I wasn't stealing it
because I wanted a phone!
372
00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:08,933
You are so stupid!
373
00:13:08,934 --> 00:13:10,659
The only reason I'm stupid today
374
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:12,909
is because I don't have a
phone to be smart for me!
375
00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:18,944
376
00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:22,199
Hey.
377
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,369
Have you come to apologize?
378
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,869
No. But after consideration
and some counsel,
379
00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:27,319
I made a decision.
380
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:28,799
If you don't buy that stock for me,
381
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,659
I'm gonna be forced to
take you and Mom to court
382
00:13:30,660 --> 00:13:32,319
to get myself emancipated.
383
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,489
Emanci...
384
00:13:33,490 --> 00:13:34,860
[LUTHOR GROANING]
385
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,529
KATIE [ECHOING]: Do the opposite.
386
00:13:37,530 --> 00:13:38,963
Emancipated. I see.
387
00:13:38,964 --> 00:13:41,029
I'm afraid you've left me no choice.
388
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,119
Okey dokey.
389
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,699
- That's it?
- Yes Siree Bob.
390
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,369
I guess I'll see you in court, then.
391
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:48,420
Not if I see you first.
392
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:57,330
393
00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:58,983
[DOOR CLOSES]
394
00:13:58,984 --> 00:14:00,159
Here's the cake.
395
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,529
Let me box it for you.
396
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:05,029
So, unfortunately, my wallet
is locked in the car,
397
00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:06,699
and my daughter has the keys.
398
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:10,159
- Can't you call her?
- No. I can't.
399
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,619
I don't have a phone.
400
00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:13,239
Oh, right, right.
401
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,779
Ooh, maybe you could
shoot her an e-mail.
402
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:18,319
Again, I can't, Bernice,
because I don't have...
403
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,529
I see what you're doing.
404
00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,199
Welcome to Bernice's Cakes.
405
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,579
This is my house!
406
00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:24,699
Bernice, could you just
give me a break, here?
407
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,909
If I don't get this cake to a
baby shower in 10 minutes,
408
00:14:26,910 --> 00:14:28,409
I could lose my job.
409
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,739
If I give this cake
away without proper ID,
410
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:32,029
I could lose my job!
411
00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:33,119
You own the place!
412
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,009
- You'd be firing yourself!
- It's company policy!
413
00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:37,199
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
414
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,020
Excuse me.
415
00:14:40,030 --> 00:14:42,400
Bernice's Cakes. Bernice speaking.
416
00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:44,739
Mm-hmm.
417
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:51,040
418
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:54,659
Hey, stop!
419
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:57,079
[GASPING]
420
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,620
[LAUGHS] It's a girl!
421
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,410
Mm-hmm.
422
00:15:02,910 --> 00:15:08,739
423
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:11,529
[SIGHS]
424
00:15:11,530 --> 00:15:13,739
What's going on?
425
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:16,319
You never want to hang out.
426
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,799
You're so busy on your phone,
427
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,909
giving likes to everyone but me.
428
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:21,982
- I like you.
- You don't act like it.
429
00:15:21,983 --> 00:15:23,699
That's why I steal your phone.
430
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,869
It's the only way you'll
give me any attention.
431
00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:28,599
I'm 17. You're 9.
432
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,460
So, I'm...
433
00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:32,989
Eight...
434
00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:35,040
... eight years older than you.
435
00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:37,239
We're just at different stages
of our lives right now.
436
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,079
But we're sisters.
437
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:40,599
Eight years is nothing
438
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,409
when you think we'll be
together our whole lives.
439
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,659
We're going to go on
cruises together with Mom
440
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:47,000
after Dad dies.
441
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:48,869
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
442
00:15:48,870 --> 00:15:51,280
I never meant to make you
feel like I didn't like you.
443
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:55,529
And I promise, I'll look up
from my phone more often,
444
00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:57,019
and spend more time with you.
445
00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:02,619
[EXHALES SHARPLY] There you two are!
446
00:16:02,620 --> 00:16:04,159
What happened to you?
447
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,529
I need to take a picture of this.
448
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,028
[LAUGHS]
449
00:16:07,029 --> 00:16:08,029
Damn it!
450
00:16:08,030 --> 00:16:09,540
Mom, give me your phone.
451
00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:11,579
Damn it!
452
00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:14,559
453
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,190
_
454
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,699
[SIGHS]
455
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:27,048
456
00:16:27,049 --> 00:16:29,659
So, Ollie boy, you're getting married.
457
00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:31,639
Let's talk prenup.
458
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,369
I remember when I got married
for the second time.
459
00:16:34,370 --> 00:16:37,058
Gabby. We met at a nightclub.
460
00:16:37,059 --> 00:16:40,199
I owned the club, but
she owned my heart...
461
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,319
and half my stuff after the divorce.
462
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,029
Wait, Gabby was my third wife.
463
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:47,069
Who the hell was my second wife?
464
00:16:53,700 --> 00:16:57,078
My dad seems fine with
me being emancipated.
465
00:16:57,079 --> 00:16:59,739
[SIGHS] If you were here, you'd
tell me how to play this,
466
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:02,084
and then laugh for no reason.
467
00:17:04,450 --> 00:17:06,449
[SIGHS]
468
00:17:06,450 --> 00:17:08,529
SPENCER: [LAUGHS]
469
00:17:08,530 --> 00:17:09,949
You sure you want to go through with
470
00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:12,093
this whole emancipation thing?
471
00:17:12,094 --> 00:17:14,369
I guess.
472
00:17:14,370 --> 00:17:16,029
You never let anyone stand in the way
473
00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:17,259
of getting what you wanted in life.
474
00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:21,659
That's true. But then again,
maybe I'm not the best example.
475
00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:23,529
You'll notice these tapes are all about
476
00:17:23,530 --> 00:17:27,108
how to get yourself out
of bad situations.
477
00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:28,369
[LAUGHS]
478
00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:29,409
This one is you telling me
479
00:17:29,410 --> 00:17:30,909
how you kept your wife and mistress
480
00:17:30,910 --> 00:17:32,579
from finding out about your girlfriend.
481
00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:34,159
[CHUCKLING] Maybe... Maybe it's best
482
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,150
if you don't get yourself
into these situations
483
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,170
to begin with.
484
00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:40,699
You know, I think that's, uh...
485
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:42,123
what your father's trying to tell you.
486
00:17:42,124 --> 00:17:43,949
But this could be my big break.
487
00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:46,029
You'll have plenty of big breaks,
488
00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:48,739
but you only have one father.
489
00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:52,133
You should be in no hurry
to get rid of him.
490
00:17:52,134 --> 00:17:54,029
Remember what I used to tell you?
491
00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:55,989
You're a good person.
492
00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:59,029
And the first step in
being a good person
493
00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:01,779
is knowing when you're wrong.
494
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:03,199
And the next step
495
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,989
is rewarding yourself for doing right
496
00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:09,029
with a nice, crisp, nudie mag.
497
00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:11,619
[BOTH LAUGH]
498
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:13,779
[SIGHS] I wish you were here.
499
00:18:13,780 --> 00:18:15,780
You and me both, kiddo.
500
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,989
You and me both.
501
00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:25,290
502
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,159
I'm here! I'm here.
503
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,479
I had a little trouble with
my order at Bernice's Cakes.
504
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,319
They should call it
"Bernice's Attitude,"
505
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,159
because that's all she offers.
506
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,579
She did this to me.
507
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:37,159
Then, I had to drive to the
other bakery on the Post Road.
508
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,279
TAYLOR: We would've called ahead,
509
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,119
but she was trying to teach us a lesson.
510
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,699
- Totally backfired.
- But I'm here!
511
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:43,779
Just in time.
512
00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:45,319
Mrs. Otto, did nobody call you?
513
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:46,739
The baby shower was canceled.
514
00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:49,029
The mother woke up with a bad cold.
515
00:18:49,030 --> 00:18:51,449
Gosh, if only you'd had your phone,
516
00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:54,380
you wouldn't be wearing a
cake that nobody wanted.
517
00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:57,869
Do you have a back office or something,
518
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,710
where someone can discretely
beat their child?
519
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:02,989
Of course. Right this way.
520
00:19:02,990 --> 00:19:07,179
521
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,869
[KNOCKS LIGHTLY]
522
00:19:09,870 --> 00:19:12,213
Oliver.
523
00:19:12,214 --> 00:19:13,579
[SIGHS]
524
00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:15,369
I'm sorry for how I
spoke to you earlier,
525
00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:16,940
and for threatening to emancipate.
526
00:19:18,030 --> 00:19:20,529
The truth is, I realized I'm lucky
527
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:22,780
to have a rule-following
father looking out for me.
528
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,079
That's nice of you to say.
529
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,519
Even if it makes it harder for
me to crawl out of the belly
530
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,699
of the lower class.
531
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:30,699
- Getting less nice.
- I want you to know
532
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,119
that I'm still gonna
be super rich one day.
533
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:36,819
I'm just gonna do it in a
way that makes you proud.
534
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:38,159
I'm happy to hear that.
535
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,290
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
536
00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:42,243
Oh.
537
00:19:42,244 --> 00:19:44,369
I also found a Spencer tape titled
538
00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:47,248
"What To Do With Your Pet
Tiger Once It's Grown Up".
539
00:19:47,249 --> 00:19:49,199
I think it'd be useful for you with Mom.
540
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:50,619
A lot of it applies.
541
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:51,739
[BOTH LAUGH]
542
00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:58,040
543
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,119
Five-card draw. Play is to you.
544
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:02,263
Go fish!
545
00:20:02,264 --> 00:20:03,699
Those eight years between us
546
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:05,529
really don't make that
much of a difference.
547
00:20:05,530 --> 00:20:07,679
That's it! It totally sucked,
548
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,529
but I made it through
the rest of the day
549
00:20:09,530 --> 00:20:11,279
without using my phone.
550
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,779
Now, Anna-Kat can never ask
again about getting a phone
551
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,159
until I decide it's time.
552
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,959
- Fine by me.
- And, Taylor,
553
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,159
you're not getting a new phone.
554
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,159
Fine by me.
555
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,369
I see what's going on.
556
00:20:23,370 --> 00:20:27,288
You're trying to confuse me,
but it's not gonna work.
557
00:20:27,289 --> 00:20:28,319
I'm on to you.
558
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,659
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
559
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:32,779
Ooh, you guys are good.
560
00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:35,819
Could you please leave?
We're having sister time.
561
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:37,909
Isn't that what you wanted?
562
00:20:37,910 --> 00:20:39,909
Yeah, but it's weird.
563
00:20:39,910 --> 00:20:41,519
If you're not upset and screaming at me,
564
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:42,920
it doesn't feel like I've won.
565
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,779
I led by example, and somehow it worked.
566
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,079
Nobody wants a phone anymore,
567
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,659
and the girls are
spending time together.
568
00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:52,239
- Oh. Good for you.
- Is it?
569
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,869
If I have to lead by
example all the time,
570
00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:56,449
it's gonna be a nightmare.
571
00:20:56,450 --> 00:20:59,319
No more complimentary bags of
Doritos at the supermarket.
572
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,879
Well, I stopped leading by example
573
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,409
and got a positive result.
574
00:21:02,410 --> 00:21:05,319
I washed my hands of Oliver,
and he came crawling back.
575
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,819
Now, he says he wants
to be a better person.
576
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:07,953
So, what are we saying?
577
00:21:07,954 --> 00:21:09,699
I guess there's no one way to parent.
578
00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:10,989
And...
579
00:21:10,990 --> 00:21:13,199
And you can do whatever you
want at the supermarket.
580
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,449
Oh, thank God.
581
00:21:14,450 --> 00:21:16,279
Can I still help myself
to teeth whitening strips
582
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,739
- while I'm shopping?
- You do that?
583
00:21:17,740 --> 00:21:19,960
No. Never.
584
00:21:20,790 --> 00:21:25,790
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-- www.addic7ed.com --
585
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:30,390
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