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1
00:00:02,540 --> 00:00:04,210
Together:
Happy Birthday, Dad!
2
00:00:04,210 --> 00:00:06,000
Aww.
Thanks, guys.
3
00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:09,250
"Happy 80th Birthday."
4
00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:10,620
Anna-Kat,
that's not my age.
5
00:00:10,620 --> 00:00:12,330
Seemed like
a reasonable guess.
6
00:00:12,330 --> 00:00:13,960
And why is the tiger on the card
attacking me?
7
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:15,120
So many notes.
8
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:16,170
Do you want the card
or not?
9
00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:19,420
And this
is from me.
10
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:22,540
[ Smacks lips ]
99 shares of CincoNext.
11
00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:23,830
They're doing
some really incredible things
12
00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:25,120
in the biotech space.
13
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,540
Each share
trades at a penny,
14
00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:28,120
but over time,
they could be worth millions.
15
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:28,920
Or nothing.
16
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,750
Or millions.
17
00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:31,960
Happy Birthday, Dad!
18
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,380
Aww.
19
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:34,880
It's a coupon
for one clean room.
20
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,250
Hm.
21
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:38,420
I'm 9 years old.
What's your excuse?
22
00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:41,460
What? Dad's always riding me
to clean my room, so now I will.
23
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:43,710
Actually, I love it,
and I'm cashing it in now.
24
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:44,960
Go clean your room.
25
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,920
Damn. I was really banking
on you losing the coupon.
26
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,830
Three kids with three gifts
all coming in under $1.
27
00:00:50,830 --> 00:00:52,170
So what?
Where's your gift?
28
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:53,880
Mom forgot!
29
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,460
No, I didn't!
30
00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:58,040
I would never, ever forget
my husband's birthday.
31
00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,790
Katie: Okay, I did!
32
00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:01,580
Now lash out at the kids
to draw attention away from it.
33
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:02,960
It is
your father's birthday,
34
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,540
and you're not even
making him breakfast?!
35
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:06,330
All right! Okay.
Okay.
36
00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:07,710
Who raised you?!
37
00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:09,170
Don't answer that!
38
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:13,250
I have your present,
but I can't give it to you yet
39
00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:14,750
because it's a surprise.
40
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:15,920
For tonight.
41
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,170
I knew it.
Mm-hmm.
42
00:01:17,170 --> 00:01:18,790
You're throwing me
the birthday dinner party
43
00:01:18,790 --> 00:01:19,750
you've always
promised me!
44
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,710
Yeah, buddy!
45
00:01:22,710 --> 00:01:24,210
How'd you know?!
46
00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:25,750
Finally,
an adult dinner party.
47
00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:27,420
Nay -- a salon,
Mm.
48
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:30,210
where we discuss art
and wear scarves indoors!
49
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:35,420
I've been asking for years,
and now we're doing it!
50
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,670
Now,
only question left is...
51
00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:41,000
which scarf
should I wear?
52
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,540
The real question is,
53
00:01:42,540 --> 00:01:43,670
which scarf
should I hang myself with?
54
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,460
Katie:
Guys, I messed up.
55
00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:53,210
I forgot Greg's birthday.
56
00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:55,040
Ohh! That's bad.
57
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,250
I did the same thing
to Celeste,
58
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,080
and that pretty much
led to our divorce.
59
00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,920
Well, that and all
the other women you slept with
60
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,330
who weren't your wife.
61
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,750
Hey, she knew I was an Aries
when she married me.
62
00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:05,170
Oh, my God,
what a great defense.
63
00:02:05,170 --> 00:02:06,170
Did you use that
in court?
64
00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:07,170
I did.
65
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,540
But the judge
was a Capricorn, so...
66
00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:10,040
Oh, my gosh.
I'm so sorry.
67
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,420
No hablo cuckoo.
68
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,420
So, what's happening
with Greg?
69
00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:15,210
I lied to him about
forgetting his birthday,
70
00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:16,880
so now I have to throw him
a dinner party.
71
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:17,880
Can you two make it?
72
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,420
Ah! Richard and I
will be there.
73
00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:21,880
Anything to get away
from the kids.
74
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,120
"Mom! Play board games
with us!"
75
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,580
I swear it's like
they don't even know me.
76
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,920
I'm in, too.
77
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,330
Mind if I bring
my new girlfriend?
78
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:30,290
Her name is Crissy,
she's a therapist,
79
00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:32,040
and I honestly think
she could be the one.
80
00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:37,080
Are you on Tinder
right now?
81
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:38,290
Wh--
I'm just browsing.
82
00:02:38,290 --> 00:02:39,670
Oh, God.
83
00:02:39,670 --> 00:02:44,960
♪♪
84
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,040
Are you sure you didn't forget
Dad's birthday?
85
00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:48,710
'Cause this all seems
very last-minute.
86
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:50,540
The caterers,
which I ordered weeks ago,
87
00:02:50,540 --> 00:02:52,040
canceled on me
this morning.
88
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,380
Anyone not believe that?
Huh?!
89
00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:55,330
Anyone?
90
00:02:56,460 --> 00:02:57,710
That's what I thought.
91
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,710
Now, tonight
is an adult night,
92
00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:02,120
so that means
you are all going upstairs
93
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,670
and staying there
till morning.
94
00:03:04,670 --> 00:03:06,170
But what if there's
an earthquake
95
00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:08,960
or a rapture
or an AI singularity?
96
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,710
You are only allowed
to come down
97
00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:13,460
if there's visible blood --
active bleeding.
98
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,040
You got to fill this cup
above the line.
99
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,580
All right!
Everybody upstairs!
100
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:21,460
[ Light music plays ]
101
00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:22,830
Remember to clean your room
for Dad.
102
00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:25,040
I was going to!
God!
103
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,960
[ Sighs ]
104
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,080
What is that thing
where you've been asleep
105
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,380
and you wake up
years later
106
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:32,250
and all of your kids
are grown up
107
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,460
and you've lost
all that time?
108
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,460
A coma?
109
00:03:34,460 --> 00:03:36,080
A coma.
110
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:38,750
I'm ready for my salon!
111
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:40,330
Great!
112
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:42,420
Because Doris and Angela
are going to be here any second.
113
00:03:42,420 --> 00:03:45,080
Doris and Angela?
That's my salon?
114
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,620
Who am I gonna have
intellectual debates with?
115
00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,080
Angela is well-read.
116
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,580
She belongs
to a lesbian book club.
117
00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:51,000
She doesn't let me come
118
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,170
because she thinks I'm going to
make fun of their haircuts.
119
00:03:53,170 --> 00:03:55,290
But they know it's not
a normal dinner party, right?
120
00:03:55,290 --> 00:03:56,540
Because
I'm reading a poem!
121
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,380
[ Doorbell rings ]
122
00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:01,620
Hey, real quick --
if Doris asks you
123
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,120
why we couldn't go to dinner
last week,
124
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,790
it was because
of your hernia surgery.
125
00:04:04,790 --> 00:04:06,170
Got it? Great.
126
00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:07,830
I didn't have a hernia.
Why did you lie to Doris?
127
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,210
I can't tell her
the truth.
128
00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:10,960
Dinners at her house
are the worst!
129
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,290
Richard is either on the phone
or talking about his commute,
130
00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:14,920
and Doris hits on you
the entire time.
131
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:16,670
No, she doesn't.
132
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:18,080
[ Doorbell rings ]
Why'd you have to go give me a hernia?
133
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,250
I don't know!
134
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,710
She sprang
the invitation on me.
135
00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:22,290
How am I supposed to
keep up this lie?
136
00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:24,170
Just don't mention it.
And don't lift anything heavy.
137
00:04:24,170 --> 00:04:25,750
[ Exhales sharply ]
This is so stupid.
138
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:27,460
You know I hate it when you
put me in these situations.
139
00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:29,080
How am I supposed to act
like I have a hernia?
140
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,080
This'll help.
141
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,380
[ Groans ]
142
00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:33,250
[ Straining ] Hi!
143
00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:34,750
Together:
Happy birthday, Greg!
144
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:36,250
Hi, everyone!
145
00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:37,960
Hi.
[ Chuckling ]
146
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,620
[ Quietly ]
Have we been here long enough? [ Quietly ] Shut up!
147
00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:41,620
Welcome! Let me
take your coats.
148
00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,670
Oh! I'm so glad
we could come. Thank you.
149
00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:45,000
Good.
150
00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:47,460
Hernia!
151
00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:50,710
I have a hernia.
152
00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:53,040
His nether regions
are still quite blown out.
153
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:53,830
Mm.
154
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,080
Okay, OCD girl,
have at it.
155
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,830
Halloween, Christmas...
156
00:04:58,830 --> 00:04:59,830
this.
157
00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:01,000
[ Chuckles ]
158
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,460
Can I borrow
your phone charger?
159
00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:04,290
Sure,
if you can find it.
160
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,580
This is disgusting.
161
00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:12,710
[ Gasps ]
My bib jersey!
162
00:05:12,710 --> 00:05:13,960
I've been looking
everywhere for that!
163
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:14,830
Your what?
164
00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:16,330
My bib jersey.
165
00:05:16,330 --> 00:05:18,170
Whenever I eat something greasy
in my room,
166
00:05:18,170 --> 00:05:19,620
I put on a jersey
to protect my clothes.
167
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,670
Genius, right?
168
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:23,960
I fear for your future.
169
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,330
Aah!
170
00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:27,080
I can't believe
I touched your bib jersey!
171
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,540
And there's nothing clean enough
in here to wipe my hands on!
172
00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:31,250
Don't worry -- it's covered
in so much old food,
173
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:32,830
there's no way
you touched fabric.
174
00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:34,460
You should be in prison.
175
00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:36,040
Uh, guys?
176
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,500
The room is on fire.
177
00:05:38,710 --> 00:05:39,580
[ Gasps ]
178
00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:43,120
Uh, Mom?
179
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,960
Katie: Visible...blood!
180
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,790
'Kay.
181
00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:48,750
[ Indistinct conversations ]
182
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:50,880
[ Sighs ]
183
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,210
So, Richard,
how are things?
184
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,420
[ Snapping fingers ]
185
00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:01,120
[ Scoffs ]
186
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,290
So, Crissy, Angela tells me
that you are a therapist.
187
00:06:04,290 --> 00:06:05,420
How do you like it?
188
00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:06,620
I think
the better question is,
189
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:08,210
how do you like
being a mother?
190
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,380
So, Richard,
whatcha typing?
191
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,620
Nothing?
192
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:18,580
All right.
193
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:19,790
What are we going to do?
194
00:06:19,790 --> 00:06:22,120
Mom and Dad
are going to kill us!
195
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,540
Well,
Dad's gonna lecture us,
196
00:06:23,540 --> 00:06:25,960
and then Mom's gonna take
the doors off all our rooms.
197
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,670
That'd be really bad
for you, Oliver.
198
00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:30,500
I have nothing to hide.
199
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:33,380
But, at the same time,
we do need to cover this up,
200
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:36,540
and the only way we're gonna
do that is if we stick together.
201
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:40,290
Like this slice of pizza
attached to Taylor's math book?
202
00:06:40,290 --> 00:06:42,750
That's why third period
is so confusing!
203
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,580
Oh.
Your hand is so big.
204
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:47,830
Thanks.
205
00:06:47,830 --> 00:06:49,080
I feel very safe
right now.
206
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,290
I'm so glad.
[ Chuckles ]
207
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:51,460
Doris,
let's compare hands.
208
00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:52,460
Oh!
209
00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:53,500
Ow!
210
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,920
Knock it off!
211
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,750
Oh, God. Greg is going for
one of his skinny poetry books.
212
00:06:57,750 --> 00:06:59,290
Those are
the worst kinds.
213
00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:00,210
Who's in the mood
for a sonnet?
214
00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:01,120
No.
Almost.
215
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,500
Changing subject.
216
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:05,250
So, Greg, you seem to be
recovering nicely.
217
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,460
Recovering?
218
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,120
[ Smacks lips ]
From the hernia surgery...
219
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,500
that you had.
220
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:11,790
Oh, yes. Well,
the procedure went smoothly.
221
00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:13,250
It was no big deal.
222
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,210
Katie said it was
a very big deal,
223
00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:15,040
with a lot
of complications.
224
00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:18,580
Oh...yeah.
225
00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:20,540
It going smoothly
actually was a complication
226
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,290
because they expected it
to be bad,
227
00:07:22,290 --> 00:07:24,080
but then when it looked
like it was good,
228
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,540
it threw everyone off,
and --
229
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:28,000
because they were like,
"Aah! Why isn't this going bad?"
230
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,540
And then, um...
231
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:31,000
I started bleeding
out of my...butt.
232
00:07:32,830 --> 00:07:34,040
[ Timer dings ]
I'll get that.
233
00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:37,210
[ Oven door opens ]
234
00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:38,880
[ Groans ]
235
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,000
Mmm.
236
00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:43,420
What?
237
00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:45,540
How are you carrying that
if you just had hernia surgery?
238
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:47,250
Oh, these...
239
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:50,000
darn pain meds give me
a false sense of strength.
240
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,080
I hope I'm not bleeding
from my butt again.
241
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,920
What's going on?!
[ Groans ]
242
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:54,960
Okay. [ Sighs ]
243
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,080
We lied.
244
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,040
Greg didn't have
hernia surgery.
245
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,460
They're our friends.
We should tell them the truth.
246
00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:02,120
Yes, thank you.
247
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:06,080
The real reason that we couldn't
go to dinner last week is...
248
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,750
[ Smacks lips ]
249
00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:09,170
...Greg and I were
in couples therapy.
250
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,120
Our marriage
is not great.
251
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:13,710
♪♪
252
00:08:17,420 --> 00:08:19,500
♪♪
253
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,330
[ Sighs ]
254
00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:23,580
So, you two
are in couples therapy?
255
00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:25,830
She's not being nosy.
That's a professional question.
256
00:08:25,830 --> 00:08:26,710
She's a doctor.
257
00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:28,670
I'm not a doctor.
258
00:08:28,670 --> 00:08:30,460
I'm a psychologist.
259
00:08:30,460 --> 00:08:32,500
But she knows
how to play doctor.
260
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:34,380
[ Chuckles ]
261
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,000
Now can we go?
262
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,120
Richard, pretend
to go to the bathroom
263
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:40,170
and play on your phone,
like you do at home.
264
00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,170
Our marriage has been in trouble
for quite some time.
265
00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:47,790
I know --
it's shocking.
266
00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:49,460
Is it?
Makes sense to me.
267
00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:51,750
Okay. Please take your seats
for dinner.
268
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:53,790
Katie, if I could talk to you
for a second?
269
00:08:53,790 --> 00:08:57,330
We're gonna go talk
about our terrible marriage.
270
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,960
♪♪
271
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,290
So, that's coming clean to
your friends? Just another lie?
272
00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:03,580
I had to!
[ Whines ]
273
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:05,540
You couldn't fake a hernia,
so I had to pivot!
274
00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:06,960
Well, now everyone thinks
our marriage is in trouble.
275
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,330
But it's not!
276
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:10,080
You understand
how lying works, right?
277
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,580
But everyone bought it
so easily.
278
00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:12,750
No one was like,
"Whaaaat?!"
279
00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:14,120
I wanted a "Whaaaat?!"
280
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,250
Couples therapy
is the perfect lie.
281
00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:19,250
It's personal, so no one will
ask any follow-up questions.
282
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,380
I don't like it one bit.
283
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:21,880
We won, Greg!
284
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,790
Take the win!
Enjoy it!
285
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,580
And remember, we need to fake
like we're in a rough patch.
286
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,960
Don't find me as delightful
as you usually do.
287
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,620
That won't be hard.
288
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:36,250
♪♪
289
00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,380
Guys, I'm not
trying to be cocky,
290
00:09:38,380 --> 00:09:39,830
but I think we did it.
291
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,420
Yeah, great job,
Taylor.
292
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:42,880
But I also went
and got this from the attic
293
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,170
so we can
paint over it.
294
00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,750
Now we just need a screwdriver
to open the can.
295
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:48,250
I'll just go downstairs
and grab one.
296
00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:50,080
But Mom told us
to stay up here.
297
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,500
Trust me --
she won't even notice.
298
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,040
Katie:
Visible blood!
299
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,080
'Kay.
300
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,580
[ Smacks lips ] Okay!
301
00:10:01,580 --> 00:10:03,210
Um, we're gonna
have to open the paint can
302
00:10:03,210 --> 00:10:04,120
with whatever's in here.
303
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:06,420
Nope.
304
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:08,750
Nope.
305
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:11,330
Nope.
306
00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:12,710
I'm all out of pencils.
307
00:10:12,710 --> 00:10:13,710
I give up.
308
00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:15,500
[ Sighs ]
309
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,080
Come on, Buttercup.
310
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,540
Use those chompers.
311
00:10:18,540 --> 00:10:20,170
[ Sighs ]
312
00:10:20,170 --> 00:10:23,210
That's it. You've embarrassed me
in front of my family.
313
00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:25,080
Tonight, you're sleeping
with the LEGOs.
314
00:10:29,330 --> 00:10:31,210
And that's how it's done,
people.
315
00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:34,790
Oh, no!
[ Gasps ]
316
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,040
Just so you know,
what you two are doing is really healthy.
317
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,380
Thanks,
but honestly,
318
00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:40,540
Katie and I
have never been better.
319
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,290
The whole therapy thing
is just preventative --
320
00:10:42,290 --> 00:10:44,040
like ant traps.
[ Door closes ]
321
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,120
That's a fun topic.
Let's talk about ants.
322
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,790
Did you know they can lift
30 times their body weight?
323
00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:51,040
Greg, look, there's no shame
in therapy, okay?
324
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,040
Some of the most prominent
people in Westport see me.
325
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,330
I mean, should the Mayor
be ashamed of his sessions?
326
00:10:55,330 --> 00:10:57,620
Isn't that a breach
of client confidentiality?
327
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:01,080
Shoot.
328
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,920
Don't be hard on yourself,
Greg.
329
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,710
Any man would've been
worn down by now.
330
00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:08,620
We totally get it.
331
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:11,830
I'm sorry, but what exactly
do you totally get?
332
00:11:11,830 --> 00:11:13,620
Do you two think
that I am the reason
333
00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:14,750
that we're in therapy?
334
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,540
Katie!
Katie!
335
00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:18,880
Greg, tell them
that is not the case.
336
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,420
It's...the case.
337
00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:21,620
Mm.
338
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:23,500
Can I talk to you in your office
for a second?
339
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,710
We're gonna continue to talk
about our terrible marriage
340
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:26,830
and how it's her fault.
341
00:11:28,670 --> 00:11:29,920
Poor Greg.
342
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,670
Oh, I hate to see them
like this,
343
00:11:31,670 --> 00:11:33,670
but I love
to watch him walk away.
344
00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:34,750
[ Door opens ]
[ Smacks lips ]
345
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,540
Mnh.
346
00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:37,750
"Poor Greg"?
347
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:39,000
It should be
"Poor Katie"!
348
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,290
We won, Katie.
Take the win.
349
00:11:41,290 --> 00:11:42,330
Enjoy it!
350
00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:44,170
You like this.
351
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:45,540
This is a little victory
for you.
352
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:46,790
Mm-hmm.
353
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:47,920
Have your fun,
354
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,250
but I just can't stand
that they're judging me.
355
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:51,540
Doris is terrible
to Richard,
356
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:53,960
and Angela can't stay in
a relationship to save her life.
357
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,210
If we tell the truth now,
358
00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:56,540
everyone is gonna think
we're crazy.
359
00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:58,960
You started this lie.
Now let's see it through.
360
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,420
Fine!
361
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,000
And don't forget
to be extra abusive to me
362
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,880
so everyone knows that our
marital problems are your fault.
363
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,710
That won't be a problem.
364
00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:10,880
♪♪
365
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,080
It says to blot.
366
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,040
Don't rub, or you'll
make the stain worse.
367
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,000
Can you help, please?
One sec.
368
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,170
I'm trying to get this paint off
my Nordstrom's not Rack shirt.
369
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:22,960
There!
It's ruined!
370
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,290
Now help!
371
00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:25,420
Well, let's see
how you like it!
372
00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:28,620
Joke's on you.
373
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:30,000
These are my bib pants!
374
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:33,330
Guys!
375
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,330
Holy [bleep]
376
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:38,290
Oh, my God. It went through
the wall. What do we do now?
377
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:40,920
First,
we watch our language.
378
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,710
The drive is
just the first leg.
379
00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:47,790
Next up is the train.
380
00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:50,880
If I catch the 7:21,
381
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,000
I get into the city
at 8:28.
382
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,380
But if I catch
the 7:26,
383
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:58,790
I get there at 8:45.
384
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:00,620
Please --
tell us more.
385
00:13:00,620 --> 00:13:01,500
Unh-unh.
386
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:02,670
Stop punishing us
387
00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:04,580
by encouraging Richard
to talk about his commute.
388
00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:06,580
All we said was that therapy
was a good thing!
389
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:07,750
And that I'm the problem.
390
00:13:07,750 --> 00:13:10,000
Right! You get it!
391
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,750
Just so you know,
you two are the ones
392
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,500
who should be
in couples therapy.
393
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,670
You can't keep your muskrat
in its cage!
394
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,460
What does that mean?
395
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:19,080
You are so pretty.
396
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,460
And you bag on your husband
constantly!
397
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:24,380
You talk about me?
398
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:25,960
Aww.
399
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,750
Okay, everyone, look.
Katie is projecting.
400
00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:32,040
Sometimes we have pent-up anger,
and we choose to lash out.
401
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,080
No!
402
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,580
This is not
what this is.
403
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:37,120
I lied.
404
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,540
Greg and I
aren't in therapy.
405
00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:39,710
I made the whole thing up
406
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:41,080
just so I didn't
have to tell you the truth.
407
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,790
The real reason
we canceled
408
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:45,080
is because dinners at your house
are the worst!
409
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,460
Ah!
410
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:47,710
I'll put any dinner
at my house
411
00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:50,540
up against this garbage party
full of poetry and lies!
412
00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:52,880
And I suppose you lied
about Greg's ruptured colon
413
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,080
to get out of going
to that sound bath with me.
414
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:56,960
Why are you always giving me
medical problems?
415
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,460
It's so easy to buy!
416
00:13:58,460 --> 00:13:59,710
You look disease-y,
Greg.
417
00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:02,250
Okay, look,
everybody calm down.
418
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:03,330
You're right.
419
00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:05,250
And to put this
in perspective,
420
00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:07,080
perhaps a poetry reading.
421
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,250
[ All groan ]
422
00:14:09,460 --> 00:14:12,330
I think Anne Sexton
said it best --
423
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:15,080
You think we're the only ones
she lies to?
424
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,000
She forgot
about your birthday. What?
425
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,040
And she threw this dinner party
at the last second as a cover.
426
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,210
I don't believe it.
427
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:22,330
Yeah, I do.
428
00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:24,000
Come on, Richard.
We're leaving.
429
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,620
But it's finally fun!
430
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:27,000
Crissy, let's go.
431
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:32,750
[ Door closes ]
432
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,290
[ Light music plays ]
433
00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:41,670
You forgot my birthday
and then lied about it.
434
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:42,750
I did.
435
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:44,290
But before you get too mad,
remember --
436
00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:45,670
your blood pressure
is high.
437
00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:46,960
Right.
438
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,710
Wait, is it? I don't know
what to believe anymore!
439
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:49,500
♪♪
440
00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:56,290
♪♪
441
00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:58,040
I'm glad
you decided to come.
442
00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,670
We want to talk
about last night. Yeah.
443
00:14:59,670 --> 00:15:00,920
I'm confused.
444
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,330
You have a breakfast
at home,
445
00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:04,120
and then you come here
for another breakfast?
446
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,210
Why is he
not getting this?
447
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,460
[ Quietly ] The pretty ones
are sometimes slow.
448
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:09,120
Mnh.
449
00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:11,380
Let's get down to it.
450
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:13,380
Katie needs
to be stopped.
451
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,880
I agree. Her lying has become
a problem for all of us.
452
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:19,040
She needs to be confronted,
and my pal Crissy can help.
453
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,000
Downgraded to "pal"
already, huh?
454
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,580
Yeah, well, I've been making
eyes with the new waitress.
455
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:24,580
She's --
456
00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:26,540
Oh. Nope.
457
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:28,380
Nope, she's just
putting in her contact lens.
458
00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:30,670
My girlfriend, Crissy,
can help.
459
00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:34,330
♪♪
460
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,380
I got your text.
Where's James Van Der Beek?
461
00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:39,040
Not here.
462
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,170
This is
an intervention.
463
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:42,170
I shaved above the knee
for this?
464
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:43,750
We're here to talk
about your lying.
465
00:15:43,750 --> 00:15:45,080
I would love to,
466
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,920
but I have to take Greg
to his colonoscopy.
467
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,380
You have a real problem.
468
00:15:50,170 --> 00:15:52,330
Katie,
please have a seat.
469
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:56,380
[ Sighs heavily ]
470
00:15:56,380 --> 00:15:58,500
Your lying has caused a rift
in your relationships,
471
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,380
and you need
to start telling the truth.
472
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:02,460
Maybe you need
to start telling the truth.
473
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:03,580
You're not licensed
to do that.
474
00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:05,500
Fine.
475
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,500
Let's just
get this over with.
476
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,330
Okay.
477
00:16:08,330 --> 00:16:09,580
What are
some of the lies
478
00:16:09,580 --> 00:16:12,620
that you've told
Doris, Angela, and Greg?
479
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:13,670
Okay.
480
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,580
Doris, remember
you gave me money
481
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:19,580
to bet on red
when I went to Foxwoods?
482
00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:21,330
I lied.
You didn't lose.
483
00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:22,880
I spent the money
on a giant daiquiri.
484
00:16:24,540 --> 00:16:27,290
Now, Doris, remember,
what do we say?
485
00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:30,750
Thank you
for your honesty.
486
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:32,000
You're welcome.
487
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,790
Angela, remember
when you aligned my chakras
488
00:16:34,790 --> 00:16:37,540
and I told you it made me
less aggravated with my kids?
489
00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:40,000
When I got home,
I sat on Oliver.
490
00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:42,710
Thank you
for your honesty.
491
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,330
Greg,
you know how I told you
492
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:47,080
I stopped using veal
in the meatloaf
493
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,790
because you didn't want
to eat little cows?
494
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:49,710
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
495
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:51,120
Didn't stop.
496
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,880
So sad.
497
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,920
So tender.
498
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,380
Katie,
why are you lying?
499
00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:58,500
You don't seem
like the kind of person
500
00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,670
who's afraid
to tell the truth.
501
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:02,080
No. I'm not.
502
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,040
I can do some crowd work
to prove it.
503
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,830
Hey, you! Laptop!
504
00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:07,420
For the last month,
505
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:09,000
I have read that screenplay
over your shoulder,
506
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,880
and it is terrible.
507
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,040
If you're not afraid
to tell the truth to a stranger,
508
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,540
then why do you feel
the need to lie to us,
509
00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:15,580
the people you love?
510
00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:18,460
I lie
because I love you.
511
00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:19,500
What?
512
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:21,790
I don't want
to hurt your feelings.
513
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,620
And I want to keep putting veal
in my meatloaf.
514
00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:27,080
Katie, you told
a lot of truths today.
515
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,580
Are there any truths
you haven't told yet?
516
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:31,710
There are.
517
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:37,250
Doris, I know I have told you
that you're too harsh,
518
00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:39,000
but the truth is...
519
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,120
you are the strongest person
that I know.
520
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,670
Thank you
for your honesty.
521
00:17:44,670 --> 00:17:46,540
And, Angela,
I know sometimes
522
00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:49,500
I make fun of you
for being a softie...
523
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:51,920
but you are the kindest person
I've ever met.
524
00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:56,040
Thank you, Katie,
for your honesty.
525
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,460
And, Greg,
the truth is...
526
00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:02,120
you are the best person
that I know.
527
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:03,830
Period.
528
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:05,420
I love you.
529
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:07,960
And I am so sorry
that I forgot your birthday.
530
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:08,960
That's okay.
531
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,120
I love you, too.
532
00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:13,960
And while
we're on this truth train,
533
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,380
you seem like
a nice person, so...
534
00:18:17,380 --> 00:18:18,580
get out now.
535
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:19,620
Really?
536
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,000
Are you
gonna cheat on me?
537
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:26,540
Girl, I don't know
what you got going on today,
538
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:29,000
but you are
looking fine!
539
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,210
Mm!
540
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:38,790
♪♪
541
00:18:38,790 --> 00:18:47,620
♪♪
542
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,000
If she didn't
clean her room,
543
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,290
you're going to
read her poetry.
544
00:18:50,290 --> 00:18:51,830
Culture should not be
a punishment.
545
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:53,830
But it is.
546
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:56,460
You ready to show me
the room yet?
547
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,750
Taylor:
Come on in!
548
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,420
Anna-Kat,
do you have any 6s?
549
00:19:01,420 --> 00:19:03,380
Sorry, Oliver.
Go fish!
550
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:04,670
Taylor?
551
00:19:04,670 --> 00:19:05,920
What did you do?
552
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,420
You cleaned your room!
553
00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:12,250
Cleaned
and reorganized.
554
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:13,460
Well, technically,
555
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:15,380
"reorganized" implies
that it was once organized,
556
00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:16,670
but good job, kiddo.
557
00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:19,170
So good.
[ Chuckles ]
558
00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:21,460
It looks great!
559
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:22,750
How long are we gonna
keep this a secret?
560
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:24,250
Until I go to college.
561
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,670
No,
until I go to college.
562
00:19:25,670 --> 00:19:26,710
You're both saying
the same thing.
563
00:19:26,710 --> 00:19:28,710
[ Chuckles ]
564
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:32,420
♪♪
565
00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:34,790
Happy birthday!
566
00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:38,420
From now on,
I won't be such a liar.
567
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:39,880
Thanks, babe.
Mm-hmm.
568
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,920
Oh.
569
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,170
A coupon for
one free intellectual salon.
570
00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:46,880
You can invite
all your boring friends.
571
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,290
You can talk about
all the crap you want.
572
00:19:48,290 --> 00:19:49,830
You can wear
whatever dumb outfit --
573
00:19:49,830 --> 00:19:50,670
Unh-unh-unh-unh.
574
00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:52,330
You know what?
575
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:53,580
To Hell with Crissy.
576
00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:55,830
Maybe a healthy marriage
is based on lies.
577
00:19:55,830 --> 00:19:57,460
Then ours is the best.
578
00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:58,540
[ Chuckles ]
579
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:00,500
Thanks.
580
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:06,120
[ Sighs ]
Now that Taylor's left,
581
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,540
the house feels so empty.
582
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,830
But we can finally do
what we want with this room!
583
00:20:10,830 --> 00:20:13,000
Let's get rid of this bed
and put in a giant hot tub.
584
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,120
What the hell?!
585
00:20:16,330 --> 00:20:18,170
What the hell?
586
00:20:20,330 --> 00:20:22,460
"Dear Mom and Dad,
by the time you read this,
587
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:24,330
the statute of limitations
will have run out.
588
00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:26,620
Signed -- Taylor,
Anna-Kat, and Oliver."
589
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,040
Oh!
590
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,710
That explains why Taylor
had books in her room.
591
00:20:30,710 --> 00:20:32,000
[ Groans ]
592
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,790
Well,
this is very troubling.
593
00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:36,420
Mm.
594
00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:38,790
We obviously can't have
your salon tonight, Greg.
595
00:20:38,790 --> 00:20:40,420
♪♪
596
00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:41,460
Then when?!
597
00:20:41,510 --> 00:20:46,060
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