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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,264 --> 00:00:02,631 (THEME SONG PLAYING) 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:10,074 3 00:00:23,586 --> 00:00:25,720 (HUMMING) 4 00:00:27,557 --> 00:00:28,824 Mmm! 5 00:00:28,891 --> 00:00:30,024 (CHUCKLES) 6 00:00:30,092 --> 00:00:33,094 Shawn, I think I've discovered a new taste treat. 7 00:00:33,162 --> 00:00:36,064 Cory, do you mind? I'm in the middle of... 8 00:00:36,132 --> 00:00:37,465 Mmm! Cheesy. 9 00:00:37,533 --> 00:00:39,067 Prove that you love me. 10 00:00:42,739 --> 00:00:44,039 Look at her. 11 00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:46,774 Like a Waterpik, this one. 12 00:00:46,842 --> 00:00:50,612 Hey! How come you never lick the food off my teeth? 13 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,081 'Cause we're married now. I don't have to. 14 00:00:53,216 --> 00:00:54,983 Okay, Cory, this is your last question. 15 00:00:55,051 --> 00:00:57,385 "Do you ever have difficulty performing in bed?" 16 00:00:58,888 --> 00:01:00,322 Why don't you tell me? 17 00:01:01,391 --> 00:01:02,523 (CHUCKLES) Yes. 18 00:01:05,361 --> 00:01:06,628 Hey! Topanga! 19 00:01:06,695 --> 00:01:07,862 All right, everyone. Let's tabulate our scores. 20 00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:10,365 Hey! Last night, I had a stummy ache. 21 00:01:12,301 --> 00:01:14,736 You didn't take care of me, by the way. 22 00:01:14,803 --> 00:01:17,105 All right, let's see who's gonna live the longest. 23 00:01:17,173 --> 00:01:19,141 Peaches, I can't help but notice that you're ignoring me. 24 00:01:19,208 --> 00:01:22,744 Okay, Shawn and Angela are going to live well into their 80s. 25 00:01:22,811 --> 00:01:25,080 According to this, I should live to be 100. 26 00:01:25,147 --> 00:01:26,381 This is fun! 27 00:01:27,450 --> 00:01:28,417 What about me? 28 00:01:28,484 --> 00:01:29,984 What about my longevity? 29 00:01:30,052 --> 00:01:31,686 Okay, Cory, you got... 30 00:01:32,989 --> 00:01:35,223 Hmm. Good for you, honey. 31 00:01:35,291 --> 00:01:38,026 Good for Cor! I'm gonna live to be 100, too. 32 00:01:38,094 --> 00:01:39,227 (CHUCKLES) No. 33 00:01:39,295 --> 00:01:42,964 You've proved these people wrong by being alive right now. 34 00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:47,502 Let me see that! 35 00:01:48,638 --> 00:01:50,738 Cory, it's just a magazine. 36 00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:53,275 Yeah. You're not gonna take this seriously, are you? 37 00:01:53,342 --> 00:01:55,577 You guys wanna know what's weird about this? 38 00:01:55,645 --> 00:01:58,246 Is that all of a sudden, I can't feel my legs. 39 00:01:59,081 --> 00:01:59,948 Oh, here we go. 40 00:02:00,015 --> 00:02:01,182 (SIGHS) 41 00:02:02,885 --> 00:02:04,520 My life just got really bad. 42 00:02:04,554 --> 00:02:06,621 Honey, your husband can't feel his legs! 43 00:02:06,689 --> 00:02:08,357 What are we gonna do about this? 44 00:02:09,658 --> 00:02:12,093 Movie? Anyone want to see a movie? 45 00:02:12,161 --> 00:02:13,494 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 46 00:02:13,563 --> 00:02:15,063 If you're not gonna take care of me now, 47 00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:17,532 who's gonna take care of me when I get old? 48 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,101 Movie! Ooh! It'll be dark in a movie theater. 49 00:02:20,169 --> 00:02:21,836 Ooh! CORY: Honey! 50 00:02:21,904 --> 00:02:24,505 I'm dying, and you're going to a movie? 51 00:02:25,674 --> 00:02:26,942 Nice wife! 52 00:02:30,513 --> 00:02:32,280 Hello, wife! 53 00:02:32,348 --> 00:02:34,850 You'll never guess what happened down at the store today. 54 00:02:34,918 --> 00:02:36,017 A customer came in? 55 00:02:36,119 --> 00:02:37,052 Yes. (LAUGHS) 56 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,987 And bought a tent. 57 00:02:39,055 --> 00:02:41,390 First one since that stinking Blair Witch movie came out. 58 00:02:42,358 --> 00:02:43,691 You know what this means, huh? 59 00:02:43,759 --> 00:02:46,128 People aren't afraid of the woods anymore. 60 00:02:46,195 --> 00:02:47,596 They're camping again! 61 00:02:47,664 --> 00:02:50,999 Yes! Life is good! Nothing can stop us now! 62 00:02:56,005 --> 00:02:58,239 I've decided to join the family business. 63 00:02:59,174 --> 00:03:02,577 No, no, no. 64 00:03:02,645 --> 00:03:05,279 Is this, like, the happiest day of your life or what? 65 00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:11,219 (STAMMERING) Eric, you can't work in my store. 66 00:03:11,286 --> 00:03:13,355 Why not? I sold it. 67 00:03:14,290 --> 00:03:15,624 It's gone. 68 00:03:16,492 --> 00:03:17,759 Sorry. 69 00:03:17,827 --> 00:03:19,027 Alan! 70 00:03:19,094 --> 00:03:20,262 Man, you know, that's too bad 71 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,763 'cause Jack and Rachel and I were thinking about 72 00:03:21,831 --> 00:03:23,398 what we were gonna do with our lives and... 73 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:24,833 Yeah, you're a little freaked out about graduation, huh? 74 00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:25,968 Well, yeah, I was until I realized that 75 00:03:26,035 --> 00:03:27,535 I wanted to work with my dad. 76 00:03:29,405 --> 00:03:31,239 Too bad. 77 00:03:31,307 --> 00:03:33,442 Alan, this is your son. 78 00:03:33,509 --> 00:03:35,810 Too bad. 79 00:03:35,878 --> 00:03:37,412 (WHISPERING) Amy, things are just starting to turn around. 80 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,279 Shame on you! 81 00:03:38,447 --> 00:03:39,647 You work with him! 82 00:03:41,149 --> 00:03:43,451 Hey! What about school? 83 00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:45,587 Well, you know, I'm only taking two classes, 84 00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:47,789 so I can actually put in a full week Monday through Friday, 85 00:03:47,856 --> 00:03:49,524 but I won't work on Saturday 86 00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:51,826 out of respect for my Jewish peeps, you know? 87 00:03:51,894 --> 00:03:55,497 Alan, you remember how we were worried about Eric's F-U-T-U-R-E? 88 00:03:55,565 --> 00:03:58,299 (LAUGHING) Oh, Ma! You don't have to worry about my furniture. 89 00:04:00,703 --> 00:04:03,238 No, no, no! This would be a great opportunity 90 00:04:03,306 --> 00:04:05,540 for him to get some real-life work experience. 91 00:04:05,608 --> 00:04:06,975 You know, I was thinking the same thing. 92 00:04:07,042 --> 00:04:09,711 And what could be better than working with my dad? 93 00:04:11,213 --> 00:04:14,849 Meat-packing plants, they're better. 94 00:04:14,917 --> 00:04:16,918 Because they're in Wisconsin! 95 00:04:16,986 --> 00:04:18,253 Go to Wisconsin, Eric. 96 00:04:18,321 --> 00:04:21,223 (LAUGHING) Your father's just kidding. 97 00:04:21,290 --> 00:04:22,457 Aren't you? 98 00:04:22,525 --> 00:04:24,659 Yeah, I guess. 99 00:04:24,727 --> 00:04:26,627 Good, 'cause I got a lot of neat ideas for the store. 100 00:04:26,695 --> 00:04:27,895 Here's one. Now, try to follow me 101 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,730 'cause I'm gonna be doing a lot of this. 102 00:04:29,798 --> 00:04:31,332 All right? 103 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:36,337 We hang little pine trees off the real pine trees, 104 00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:39,140 to give that whole forest the new-car smell. 105 00:04:43,946 --> 00:04:45,313 Did you see what I just did there? 106 00:04:45,381 --> 00:04:47,582 See, I got a ton... I have so many of these ideas, it's like... 107 00:04:47,649 --> 00:04:49,251 Kind of frazzles me every once in a while, 108 00:04:49,318 --> 00:04:51,686 so I'm gonna go upstairs and keep thinking about them, all right? 109 00:04:59,228 --> 00:05:02,631 Take this frying pan and hit me on the head as hard as you can. 110 00:05:02,698 --> 00:05:03,698 Okay. 111 00:05:07,570 --> 00:05:08,704 Good morning. 112 00:05:08,805 --> 00:05:10,504 I couldn't deliver a urine sample. 113 00:05:10,572 --> 00:05:12,507 No urine. Okay. 114 00:05:12,575 --> 00:05:14,342 So, what seems to be the problem? 115 00:05:14,410 --> 00:05:15,911 Well, Doctor, I took a test the other day, 116 00:05:15,978 --> 00:05:18,313 and it said that my type-A personality and love of cheese 117 00:05:18,380 --> 00:05:19,881 makes me a ticking bomb. 118 00:05:19,949 --> 00:05:21,015 Hmm. What kind of a test did you take? 119 00:05:21,083 --> 00:05:22,283 Couples magazine, 120 00:05:22,351 --> 00:05:23,718 Courteney Cox, David Arquette skeet shooting issue. 121 00:05:23,786 --> 00:05:25,287 Good-looking fellow, that Arquette boy. 122 00:05:25,788 --> 00:05:27,154 Thanks. 123 00:05:27,222 --> 00:05:29,424 So anyway, I was just, uh... My longevity results revealed 124 00:05:29,492 --> 00:05:32,594 that I should have actually died last Tuesday. 125 00:05:32,661 --> 00:05:33,595 Right, I see. 126 00:05:33,662 --> 00:05:36,163 (BLOOD PRESSURE BELT HISSES) Hmm. 127 00:05:36,231 --> 00:05:37,933 Okay, I hate that immediately. 128 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,702 Well, yeah, sometimes patients get a little nervous coming in, 129 00:05:40,769 --> 00:05:42,303 their pressure goes up. Oh, good. 130 00:05:42,371 --> 00:05:43,505 Although I'm just not certain 131 00:05:43,573 --> 00:05:45,874 that's happening here in your case. 132 00:05:45,942 --> 00:05:47,375 Wait a minute. Doctor, do you... 133 00:05:47,443 --> 00:05:49,277 Do you really think there's something wrong with me? 134 00:05:49,345 --> 00:05:51,713 Why? Would you like there to be something wrong? 135 00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:54,115 No. Why would I want something to be wrong with me? 136 00:05:54,182 --> 00:05:56,150 That would just be crazy. 137 00:05:56,218 --> 00:05:58,319 Right. Do you have any history of mental illness in the family? 138 00:05:58,354 --> 00:05:59,788 Uh, no, I don't. 139 00:05:59,855 --> 00:06:02,456 (STAMMERING) I do have an uncle who thinks he's Sammy Sosa. 140 00:06:02,524 --> 00:06:04,025 Hmm. Institutionalized? 141 00:06:04,092 --> 00:06:05,359 Yeah, but they let him out for spring training. 142 00:06:05,427 --> 00:06:07,062 Uh-huh. 143 00:06:07,129 --> 00:06:09,497 Uh, is there a reason you're asking me all these serious questions? 144 00:06:09,565 --> 00:06:11,232 Mmm-hmm. 145 00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:13,568 I see in my notes here you've got, uh... (CLEARS THROAT) 146 00:06:13,636 --> 00:06:14,869 Tummy ache, that your brain hurts, 147 00:06:14,937 --> 00:06:16,337 and you've lost all feeling in your legs. 148 00:06:16,405 --> 00:06:17,739 Yeah. 149 00:06:17,806 --> 00:06:18,840 Could you tell my wife that? 150 00:06:18,908 --> 00:06:20,441 I want you to write her a note. 151 00:06:20,509 --> 00:06:21,576 Right. It says here you're a newlywed. 152 00:06:21,644 --> 00:06:22,710 Things going well with the wife? 153 00:06:22,778 --> 00:06:24,345 Why? Because she's not here? 154 00:06:24,413 --> 00:06:26,280 Is that what makes you question my marriage? 155 00:06:26,348 --> 00:06:27,749 Ever have trouble performing in bed? 156 00:06:29,251 --> 00:06:30,484 (SOFTLY) Why? Did she call you? 157 00:06:31,954 --> 00:06:33,054 No, she didn't. 158 00:06:33,122 --> 00:06:34,622 You're very sensitive about all this, aren't you? 159 00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:36,258 Yes, I am, Doctor. Are you gay? 160 00:06:38,027 --> 00:06:39,427 No, are you? Yes, I am. 161 00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:42,864 I'd like to check you for a hernia now. 162 00:06:43,332 --> 00:06:44,632 Okay, good. 163 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,634 I want that and every other test you got. 164 00:06:46,702 --> 00:06:49,371 Because we are not gonna stop until we find something wrong with me. 165 00:06:49,438 --> 00:06:51,038 I'm a firm believer that the patient knows his body best. 166 00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,173 Where would you like to start? 167 00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:54,942 My armpit hurts. Right here. This one. 168 00:06:55,010 --> 00:06:56,377 Right there. Okay, let's... Mmm-hmm. 169 00:06:57,713 --> 00:06:59,180 And you should see him with the customers. 170 00:06:59,248 --> 00:07:01,682 I'm telling you, this kid has a real affinity for people. 171 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:04,152 Amy, everybody's crazy about him. 172 00:07:04,219 --> 00:07:05,920 So Eric did good. 173 00:07:05,987 --> 00:07:08,456 Yeah, he actually did good. 174 00:07:08,524 --> 00:07:10,157 You seem surprised. 175 00:07:10,225 --> 00:07:12,360 Eric was always a people person. 176 00:07:12,428 --> 00:07:16,798 Yeah, we know that, but we also realize that Eric's, you know... 177 00:07:16,865 --> 00:07:18,066 Nuts. 178 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,568 No. Eccentric. 179 00:07:19,635 --> 00:07:22,136 Eric has always marched to the beat of a different drum. 180 00:07:22,204 --> 00:07:23,405 Most creative people do. 181 00:07:23,472 --> 00:07:25,507 Well, I'm just glad he did well. 182 00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:28,242 Amy and I have spent a lot of sleepless nights worrying about Eric. 183 00:07:28,310 --> 00:07:31,212 Well, of course I worried but I always believed he'd be okay. 184 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:32,180 Yeah, well, 185 00:07:32,314 --> 00:07:34,248 I wasn't so sure. Why? 186 00:07:34,316 --> 00:07:36,617 George, you're his teacher. You know why. 187 00:07:36,685 --> 00:07:37,952 No, I'm afraid I don't. 188 00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:39,654 Alan, what are you getting at? 189 00:07:39,721 --> 00:07:42,791 (EXHALES) Nothing, okay? Don't gang up on me. 190 00:07:42,858 --> 00:07:45,293 Eric always did the best he could. 191 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,428 That's the most I can ask from anybody. 192 00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:50,165 Well, we're talking about Eric stepping out into the real world. 193 00:07:50,232 --> 00:07:51,766 It's not so easy out there. 194 00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:53,101 No, it isn't. 195 00:07:53,169 --> 00:07:56,004 And I understand your concern for your children, Alan. 196 00:07:56,072 --> 00:07:59,740 Eric. I'm concerned about Eric. My other kids are doing just fine. 197 00:07:59,808 --> 00:08:01,209 Howdy! 198 00:08:01,277 --> 00:08:04,645 Eric, your parents tell me you're doing very well at the store. 199 00:08:04,713 --> 00:08:06,214 Really? Well, you know what? 200 00:08:06,282 --> 00:08:07,815 This has been, like, one of the greatest days of my life. 201 00:08:07,883 --> 00:08:09,284 You know, I'm telling you something, Mr. Feeny. 202 00:08:09,351 --> 00:08:11,152 I think I finally found my niece. 203 00:08:11,854 --> 00:08:13,020 Niche. 204 00:08:13,556 --> 00:08:14,622 Niche? 205 00:08:18,427 --> 00:08:19,727 Oh! Oh! Eric. 206 00:08:19,795 --> 00:08:23,264 Hey, I got something to show you. 207 00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:30,405 Ma, look at that. 208 00:08:30,473 --> 00:08:33,608 "Matthews and Son Outdoor Adventures." 209 00:08:33,675 --> 00:08:35,443 Alan, what is this? 210 00:08:35,511 --> 00:08:37,778 Oh, it's a mockup of the new sign I'm gonna have made. 211 00:08:37,847 --> 00:08:40,782 Huh? What do you think of that, George? 212 00:08:40,784 --> 00:08:42,984 I think it's, uh, very nice. 213 00:08:43,051 --> 00:08:44,785 Feeny! Look at that. 214 00:08:44,853 --> 00:08:46,121 I got a job after graduation. 215 00:08:46,188 --> 00:08:47,688 Look, "Matthews and Son." 216 00:08:47,756 --> 00:08:49,257 (LAUGHS) 217 00:08:49,325 --> 00:08:50,392 Looks like I finally got a future. 218 00:08:50,459 --> 00:08:52,193 (CHUCKLES) Thanks, man! 219 00:08:54,129 --> 00:08:55,697 He's got a future. 220 00:08:55,764 --> 00:08:57,499 He doesn't have to go out into the world and get disappointed. 221 00:08:57,566 --> 00:08:59,301 That's what's important. 222 00:08:59,368 --> 00:09:01,569 No, there's one more important thing. 223 00:09:01,636 --> 00:09:04,405 What? You have no faith in your son. 224 00:09:10,979 --> 00:09:13,148 All right. Well, thank you so much 225 00:09:13,215 --> 00:09:14,615 for shopping my daddy's store, 226 00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:16,551 and, uh, you got a good product here. 227 00:09:16,618 --> 00:09:17,752 If anything goes wrong with it, come back, 228 00:09:17,819 --> 00:09:19,254 you talk to me, okay? I'm Eric. Great. 229 00:09:19,321 --> 00:09:22,189 Why don't I ring you up, get you on your way? 230 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,959 You know, Eric seems really comfortable here. 231 00:09:25,027 --> 00:09:27,128 Well, sure. He's with his dad. It's a family store. 232 00:09:27,195 --> 00:09:28,563 Why wouldn't he feel comfortable? 233 00:09:28,631 --> 00:09:30,398 (SIGHS) I wish I was comfortable. 234 00:09:30,466 --> 00:09:32,067 Yeah, I'd give anything to know what I was gonna do with myself. 235 00:09:32,134 --> 00:09:33,168 What do you mean? 236 00:09:33,235 --> 00:09:35,136 We graduate in May. Ugh. 237 00:09:35,204 --> 00:09:37,739 Yeah, four months, and we're thrown out into the real world. 238 00:09:37,807 --> 00:09:39,674 You don't know what you're gonna do? 239 00:09:39,741 --> 00:09:42,309 Well, you know what? All this time, I've studied engineering and journalism. 240 00:09:42,377 --> 00:09:45,046 Now comes the time when I actually have to choose between the two of them, 241 00:09:45,114 --> 00:09:46,581 and I want to be a lawyer like Rachel. Ugh. 242 00:09:46,648 --> 00:09:48,616 Lawyer was, like, eight careers ago. 243 00:09:48,684 --> 00:09:50,085 I don't want to be a lawyer, either. 244 00:09:51,253 --> 00:09:52,653 You know what I want to be? 245 00:09:52,721 --> 00:09:54,456 I want to be Eric. 246 00:09:54,523 --> 00:09:56,023 I mean, he's the lucky one. 247 00:09:56,091 --> 00:09:58,059 Oh, come on. You're saying that for my benefit. 248 00:09:58,127 --> 00:09:59,694 No. No. No, really. 249 00:09:59,762 --> 00:10:02,363 Really, he's the only one that has a handle on things. 250 00:10:02,431 --> 00:10:04,098 He is? Yeah. 251 00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,634 Yeah, I mean, he's got a job. His future's all set. 252 00:10:07,903 --> 00:10:09,337 Yeah. 253 00:10:09,405 --> 00:10:11,205 He's the only one of you guys whose future is all set. 254 00:10:11,273 --> 00:10:12,907 Imagine that. 255 00:10:12,974 --> 00:10:15,142 (BELL ON DOOR DINGS) 256 00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:17,412 What do you think about that, George? 257 00:10:17,479 --> 00:10:20,481 Hmm? Maybe you ought to go help your other little lost sheep, huh? 258 00:10:20,549 --> 00:10:22,183 Go help them find their way, 259 00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:24,118 because Eric's going to be just fine. 260 00:10:24,186 --> 00:10:25,487 Alan... 261 00:10:25,554 --> 00:10:27,188 What? I'm a little proud of my kid here. 262 00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:28,890 I admit I was a little nervous for him... 263 00:10:28,957 --> 00:10:30,591 You never believed in him. 264 00:10:30,659 --> 00:10:32,360 No, I was a little nervous for him. 265 00:10:32,427 --> 00:10:33,728 And you still don't believe in him. 266 00:10:33,796 --> 00:10:35,630 You think he will go out in the world 267 00:10:35,698 --> 00:10:36,865 and experience disappointment, 268 00:10:36,932 --> 00:10:39,267 so you wanna lock him up here. 269 00:10:39,335 --> 00:10:41,068 I thought if he would be here with you, 270 00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:43,671 he would gain experience and confidence 271 00:10:43,739 --> 00:10:45,139 and be ready to go out in the world. 272 00:10:45,207 --> 00:10:47,642 And now, I think it might be the worst place for him. 273 00:10:47,710 --> 00:10:50,511 He's safe here. And he's a step ahead of them. 274 00:10:50,579 --> 00:10:52,313 So I was thinking med school. 275 00:10:52,381 --> 00:10:53,481 You'd make a great doctor. 276 00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:55,083 Yeah, people really love you. 277 00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:56,617 Veterinarian. 278 00:10:56,619 --> 00:10:58,253 What? Yeah, I mean, I love animals. 279 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,955 I always have, and I just love to take care of them. 280 00:11:01,023 --> 00:11:02,256 You know, I love animals, too. 281 00:11:02,324 --> 00:11:03,924 Would it be like, like a little shop, 282 00:11:03,993 --> 00:11:06,694 and you'd help fix up little kids' pets and stuff? 283 00:11:06,761 --> 00:11:07,828 Yeah, I want a bunch of letters on the wall 284 00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:09,864 from little kids thanking me for helping their dogs. 285 00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:11,499 Oh. 286 00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:13,601 What about the ones you'd have to put to sleep? 287 00:11:15,771 --> 00:11:17,372 I'm gonna be a caterer. 288 00:11:20,075 --> 00:11:21,909 And you rather he was confused like them? 289 00:11:21,977 --> 00:11:23,344 You know why they're confused? 290 00:11:23,412 --> 00:11:24,879 Because they have choices. 291 00:11:24,947 --> 00:11:28,249 They believe they are capable of anything. 292 00:11:28,317 --> 00:11:31,152 Amy, not everybody is capable of anything. 293 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:34,889 Alan, eventually I have to let my students graduate. 294 00:11:34,957 --> 00:11:36,490 I shelter them as much as I can, 295 00:11:36,558 --> 00:11:39,060 but, finally, I have to let them go. 296 00:11:39,128 --> 00:11:40,528 You know, we could keep Eric here. 297 00:11:40,596 --> 00:11:42,530 We know he would do fine. 298 00:11:42,598 --> 00:11:45,066 But we wouldn't know what else he was capable of. 299 00:11:45,134 --> 00:11:46,468 And you know what's worse? 300 00:11:46,535 --> 00:11:47,802 Neither would he. 301 00:11:48,437 --> 00:11:50,171 Well, that's very nice. 302 00:11:50,239 --> 00:11:51,906 You don't think I know what's best for my son. 303 00:11:51,974 --> 00:11:55,276 Well, I think I do know what's best for my son. 304 00:11:56,411 --> 00:11:57,979 Now, if you don't mind, 305 00:11:58,046 --> 00:11:59,713 we have a store to run. 306 00:11:59,781 --> 00:12:01,349 Excuse me. 307 00:12:06,922 --> 00:12:09,190 He's been planning his funeral. I do the eulogy. 308 00:12:09,258 --> 00:12:11,259 You get to light the eternal flame. 309 00:12:11,327 --> 00:12:12,693 This is all my fault. 310 00:12:12,761 --> 00:12:15,329 I should have never given him that stupid Couples quiz. 311 00:12:15,397 --> 00:12:16,897 What did the doctor say? 312 00:12:16,965 --> 00:12:19,901 He stopped off there to get his test results back. 313 00:12:19,969 --> 00:12:22,503 But what if he actually finds out there's something wrong with him? 314 00:12:22,571 --> 00:12:24,339 Oh, there's something wrong with him, honey. 315 00:12:25,907 --> 00:12:27,475 She means here. 316 00:12:29,377 --> 00:12:32,313 I know what she means! Don't you think I know what she means? 317 00:12:32,381 --> 00:12:34,448 I know he's crazy! I know everything. 318 00:12:34,516 --> 00:12:36,384 Do you wanna know what he won't let me touch? 319 00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,519 "No, not there! I might get cancer." 320 00:12:40,222 --> 00:12:41,189 Where? 321 00:12:44,293 --> 00:12:47,661 Topanga, what if there actually is something wrong with him? 322 00:12:47,729 --> 00:12:49,597 Oh, please. He's just doing this because he's afraid 323 00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:51,632 I'm not gonna take care of him when he's 80. 324 00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,501 He's just doing this to get attention. 325 00:12:53,569 --> 00:12:54,435 He is? 326 00:12:54,503 --> 00:12:55,869 Yes. 327 00:12:55,937 --> 00:12:57,305 Well, why don't you just give it to him? 328 00:12:57,372 --> 00:12:59,907 Because I'd rather give him attention for acting normal. 329 00:12:59,974 --> 00:13:02,143 Oh, honey, we know that's never gonna happen. 330 00:13:03,245 --> 00:13:04,545 You're right. It's not. 331 00:13:04,613 --> 00:13:06,447 I married a nut, but aside from that, 332 00:13:06,515 --> 00:13:08,048 there's absolutely nothing wrong with him. 333 00:13:14,523 --> 00:13:15,690 Hello, everyone. 334 00:13:18,159 --> 00:13:18,992 (DOOR SHUTS) 335 00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,261 Here we are in hell. 336 00:13:21,563 --> 00:13:23,665 I'm glad you're all here today. 337 00:13:23,732 --> 00:13:26,801 Cory? Is there something wrong? 338 00:13:26,869 --> 00:13:29,070 Well, as you all know, I just came from the doctor. 339 00:13:29,138 --> 00:13:30,905 You have something? 340 00:13:30,907 --> 00:13:33,241 Yes. I have something. 341 00:13:34,643 --> 00:13:36,744 You all made fun of me, 342 00:13:36,812 --> 00:13:38,746 but I have something, all right. 343 00:13:42,084 --> 00:13:43,117 It's all right here. 344 00:13:44,719 --> 00:13:45,552 Right here. 345 00:13:46,822 --> 00:13:48,522 You're my wife. 346 00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:49,457 Okay? 347 00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,191 You have the right to know first. 348 00:13:56,465 --> 00:13:57,598 What's it say? 349 00:13:59,734 --> 00:14:01,302 He has hypochondria. 350 00:14:02,971 --> 00:14:05,572 Chronic and severe hypochondria. 351 00:14:07,909 --> 00:14:09,176 (VOICE BREAKING) That's right. 352 00:14:10,912 --> 00:14:12,513 I'm a hypochondriac. 353 00:14:14,884 --> 00:14:17,785 Cory, it means that there's nothing wrong with you. 354 00:14:17,852 --> 00:14:20,588 It means you create stuff in your head. 355 00:14:20,656 --> 00:14:24,358 Yes, well, he gave me these placebos. 356 00:14:24,426 --> 00:14:27,027 Placebos are what they give to crazy people like you 357 00:14:27,095 --> 00:14:28,462 to make them think they're being cured 358 00:14:28,530 --> 00:14:30,898 of something they don't have! 359 00:14:30,966 --> 00:14:34,601 Hey! I have to be on these for the rest of my life! 360 00:14:37,039 --> 00:14:39,173 Okay, so, what's up for tonight? 361 00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:40,641 SHAWN: Movie? ANGELA: Movie. 362 00:14:44,846 --> 00:14:46,080 Cory? 363 00:14:48,550 --> 00:14:50,518 (STAMMERING) I have a tummy ache. Ugh. 364 00:14:51,086 --> 00:14:52,019 Wait up. 365 00:14:55,123 --> 00:14:56,224 (DOOR CLOSING) 366 00:14:58,293 --> 00:15:00,361 I don't care what that magazine said. 367 00:15:00,429 --> 00:15:02,130 He's gonna outlive all of us! 368 00:15:02,197 --> 00:15:03,764 But if he thinks that I'm gonna take care of him 369 00:15:03,832 --> 00:15:05,933 for the rest of his life, he's nuts! 370 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,668 Of course he is. 371 00:15:07,736 --> 00:15:08,869 That's why you married him. 372 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,379 Do you want a blanket? 373 00:15:19,447 --> 00:15:20,948 Oh, that would be swell. 374 00:15:21,016 --> 00:15:23,450 But not wool. Wool chafes my nippies. 375 00:15:26,789 --> 00:15:28,489 Do you want me to make you some tea, then? 376 00:15:29,257 --> 00:15:30,491 You know what I really want? 377 00:15:30,959 --> 00:15:31,725 What? 378 00:15:32,694 --> 00:15:34,328 I want you to come and sit next to me 379 00:15:34,395 --> 00:15:36,163 and hold my hand until I fall asleep. 380 00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:40,568 That's what you want? 381 00:15:40,636 --> 00:15:41,301 Yeah. 382 00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:43,070 I do. 383 00:15:45,574 --> 00:15:47,341 (SIGHS CONTENTEDLY) 384 00:15:49,178 --> 00:15:51,278 Is this what our life is gonna be like? 385 00:15:51,346 --> 00:15:53,848 (WHISPERING) Could you talk softer? Just a little. 386 00:15:56,685 --> 00:15:59,187 (WHISPERING) Is this what our life is gonna be like? 387 00:15:59,254 --> 00:16:03,057 Well, sometimes you'll be sick and I'll take care of you. 388 00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:04,958 That sounds nice. 389 00:16:05,026 --> 00:16:07,462 I just want to know that we'll always take care of each other. 390 00:16:08,597 --> 00:16:10,264 Do you feel better? 391 00:16:10,299 --> 00:16:12,500 Well, isn't this better than going to the movies? 392 00:16:13,235 --> 00:16:14,434 Yeah, it is. 393 00:16:14,836 --> 00:16:16,137 Then I feel better. 394 00:16:17,339 --> 00:16:19,073 Good. 395 00:16:19,141 --> 00:16:21,142 But I'm gonna close my eyes now. 396 00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,211 I think the placebos are kicking in. 397 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,061 Just think, last week, 398 00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:42,497 I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. 399 00:16:42,564 --> 00:16:44,265 And now, I know just what I should be. 400 00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:45,900 And you helped me find out. 401 00:16:47,135 --> 00:16:50,337 Is this what you really want to be, Eric? 402 00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:53,240 Sure. You know, I mean, I hear Jack and Rachel talking all the time, 403 00:16:53,308 --> 00:16:56,043 you know, doctor, lawyer, journalist, engineer. 404 00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:58,812 Just... They all sound really confused. 405 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,482 (LAUGHS) Remember when you wanted to be a weatherman? 406 00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:03,117 (LAUGHS) Yeah. That was crazy, huh? 407 00:17:03,685 --> 00:17:05,153 Why? 408 00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:07,021 Well, 'cause I could never be that. 409 00:17:07,089 --> 00:17:10,190 Why not? Why couldn't you be a weatherman? 410 00:17:10,258 --> 00:17:11,959 You really gotta be on the ball to be a weatherman. 411 00:17:12,027 --> 00:17:16,463 I mean, you gotta know about meteorology and all that stuff. 412 00:17:16,532 --> 00:17:20,234 Plus, I get really sad when people lose their homes in floods. 413 00:17:20,301 --> 00:17:22,269 Would you rather work here for the rest of your life, 414 00:17:22,337 --> 00:17:24,071 or would you rather be a weatherman? 415 00:17:26,008 --> 00:17:27,542 I think I'd rather be a veterinarian. 416 00:17:28,677 --> 00:17:30,010 What? 417 00:17:30,078 --> 00:17:31,712 Yeah. I mean, I heard Rachel talking about it. 418 00:17:31,779 --> 00:17:33,814 It sounded like something I'd want to do, too, 419 00:17:33,881 --> 00:17:35,516 but I can't be that either, can I? 420 00:17:35,584 --> 00:17:38,185 Well, if you could be anything you wanted to be, 421 00:17:38,253 --> 00:17:39,787 what would you choose? 422 00:17:39,855 --> 00:17:42,890 Either a veterinarian, so I could help animals, 423 00:17:42,957 --> 00:17:45,693 or a weatherman, so I could warn people when there's a flood... 424 00:17:45,761 --> 00:17:47,328 Or when there's sunshine. 425 00:17:47,396 --> 00:17:48,829 That's crazy, huh? 426 00:17:49,597 --> 00:17:51,065 No. 427 00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:52,499 No, it's not crazy. 428 00:17:53,635 --> 00:17:54,969 ERIC: Oh, great. 429 00:17:55,036 --> 00:17:56,803 Now I sound as confused as these guys. 430 00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:59,240 Yeah. 431 00:17:59,308 --> 00:18:01,108 Yeah, you do. 432 00:18:01,176 --> 00:18:02,543 So, you ready for dinner? 433 00:18:02,611 --> 00:18:04,612 Oh, no. You know what? Not gonna be able to go. 434 00:18:04,679 --> 00:18:06,179 Tomorrow's the start of the big ski season, 435 00:18:06,248 --> 00:18:07,848 so we're having a big clearance sale. 436 00:18:07,915 --> 00:18:09,750 I gotta help my dad. You guys are gonna have to go on without me. 437 00:18:09,818 --> 00:18:11,151 BOTH: Okay. No! 438 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:14,121 Uh, no, I don't want you to go on without him. 439 00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:17,358 You go with your friends. 440 00:18:17,425 --> 00:18:18,892 But all the skis. I mean, we gotta... 441 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,394 Don't worry about it. I'll take care of the skis. 442 00:18:21,129 --> 00:18:22,230 You sure you can do this without me? 443 00:18:22,297 --> 00:18:23,798 I'm sure. 444 00:18:23,865 --> 00:18:26,066 You be with your friends. 445 00:18:26,134 --> 00:18:29,469 I belong here. You belong with your friends. 446 00:18:30,204 --> 00:18:31,405 You sure? 447 00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:33,808 I am. I am now. 448 00:18:34,576 --> 00:18:35,676 Okay. 449 00:18:37,813 --> 00:18:40,180 Hey, you know what? I think I've got it. 450 00:18:40,248 --> 00:18:43,350 What about architecture? 451 00:18:43,418 --> 00:18:46,120 Now that's something I think you'd be good at. Sweet. 452 00:18:46,188 --> 00:18:48,355 RACHEL: I've decided to be a corporate art buyer. 453 00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:50,023 Wow! 454 00:18:50,091 --> 00:18:51,192 What is that? 455 00:18:51,259 --> 00:18:52,259 I don't know. 456 00:18:52,326 --> 00:18:53,761 (LAUGHS) I think I made it up. 457 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:55,896 Hi! 458 00:18:55,964 --> 00:18:58,231 Hey, Ma! Hey, Joshie! Hey! 459 00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:00,467 Pediatrician! 460 00:19:00,535 --> 00:19:01,468 Me, too. 461 00:19:01,536 --> 00:19:03,037 Me, too. 462 00:19:03,104 --> 00:19:04,038 JACK: Well, then it's settled, then. RACHEL: Good! 463 00:19:04,105 --> 00:19:05,373 ERIC: Good. JACK: Great. 464 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,207 All right. Let's go! 465 00:19:06,274 --> 00:19:07,374 Let's go. Bye. 466 00:19:07,442 --> 00:19:09,410 Bye. See you, baby brother. 467 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,148 He's a good kid, Amy. He'll be okay. 468 00:19:14,215 --> 00:19:16,616 I'm scared for him. I'm scared for all of them. 469 00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:18,318 Well, did you do your best for him? 470 00:19:18,386 --> 00:19:19,720 I did. 471 00:19:19,787 --> 00:19:21,522 Then he'll be okay. 472 00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:22,623 He's your son. 473 00:19:22,691 --> 00:19:24,291 He's our son. 474 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,827 He's our son out in the world. 475 00:19:26,894 --> 00:19:29,229 You shelter him as long as you can, but then you gotta let him go. 476 00:19:29,297 --> 00:19:31,465 That's what we do, hmm? 477 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,535 How about you, Joshie? 478 00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,371 How are you doing? 479 00:19:39,408 --> 00:19:40,474 (CHUCKLES) 480 00:19:55,223 --> 00:19:56,857 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 481 00:19:56,859 --> 00:19:58,092 I'll get it. 482 00:20:02,531 --> 00:20:04,665 Are you the wife? Uh, Cory? 483 00:20:04,733 --> 00:20:06,533 It's nice to meet you. 484 00:20:06,601 --> 00:20:08,002 I'm Sammy Sosa. 485 00:20:10,171 --> 00:20:12,339 Uncle Morrie! They let you out? 486 00:20:12,406 --> 00:20:14,641 I'm in town three days to play against the Phillies. 487 00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:16,543 But it's January. 488 00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:18,579 I'm nuts. Didn't he tell you? 489 00:20:18,646 --> 00:20:20,247 And you came all the way to see me? 490 00:20:20,315 --> 00:20:21,915 Come here! Hey! 491 00:20:21,983 --> 00:20:24,451 I heard you had the "hypo-chondo-ria." Yeah. 492 00:20:26,821 --> 00:20:28,655 Can I make you some tea, Uncle Morrie? 493 00:20:28,723 --> 00:20:29,690 Who? 494 00:20:29,758 --> 00:20:31,091 (STAMMERING) Uncle Sammy Sosa. 495 00:20:34,529 --> 00:20:35,596 No tea. 496 00:20:35,664 --> 00:20:36,997 Tea makes me sleepy. 497 00:20:37,065 --> 00:20:38,866 You see, I gotta keep wide awake 498 00:20:38,934 --> 00:20:41,635 so I can catch that bum, McGwire. 499 00:20:41,703 --> 00:20:43,837 Nearly forgot. Sit down! 500 00:20:43,905 --> 00:20:46,640 I brought you an autographed baseball 501 00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:48,742 from all of the boys at Sunnyvale. 502 00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:50,678 Oh! Look at this. Yeah. 503 00:20:50,745 --> 00:20:53,280 "Ken Griffey Jr., Orel Hershiser..." Yup. 504 00:20:53,347 --> 00:20:55,182 "...Princess Margaret, Patsy Cline, 505 00:20:55,249 --> 00:20:57,551 "Dagwood Bumstead, Rin Tin Tin, 506 00:20:57,619 --> 00:21:00,187 "Catherine Zeta-Jones"! 507 00:21:00,255 --> 00:21:01,455 What's she like? (LAUGHS) 508 00:21:03,024 --> 00:21:04,791 I'll tell you later in the spaceship. 509 00:21:07,562 --> 00:21:09,730 Ah! There's the rest of my outfield. 510 00:21:14,536 --> 00:21:16,003 Wait, wait, wait! 511 00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:17,304 You forgot him. 512 00:21:24,579 --> 00:21:25,846 Bye, honey. Bye. 513 00:21:25,913 --> 00:21:27,047 I love you. 514 00:21:28,305 --> 00:21:34,384 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org37589

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