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*THE MICK*
Season 02 Episode 14
Title: "The Church"
2
00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:05,424
31, 30,
3
00:00:05,492 --> 00:00:08,408
- 29, 28... you better hustle.
- Ah!
4
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:11,065
- I'm gonna make it!
- Not a chance in hell.
5
00:00:11,146 --> 00:00:12,591
- What are you doing?
- Oh, you guys,
6
00:00:12,659 --> 00:00:15,176
Alba bet me a hundred bucks
that she could go to the store,
7
00:00:15,244 --> 00:00:17,278
grab some smokes and be back
in under five minutes.
8
00:00:17,346 --> 00:00:18,715
- That's impossible.
- I know!
9
00:00:18,783 --> 00:00:20,567
That's what I keep telling her.
10
00:00:20,666 --> 00:00:22,203
Ugh, she's smoking again?
11
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,471
I-I don't keep track
of what she does anymore.
12
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:25,870
Coming in hot!
13
00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:26,974
You're never gonna make it.
14
00:00:27,041 --> 00:00:28,211
You might as well just give up.
15
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,635
No! Never!
16
00:00:29,971 --> 00:00:31,424
All right. Ten,
17
00:00:31,604 --> 00:00:33,742
nine, eight...
18
00:00:33,891 --> 00:00:36,992
- seven, six...
- Here I come... whoa! No!
19
00:00:37,380 --> 00:00:38,481
Alba!
20
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:46,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
21
00:00:50,793 --> 00:00:53,430
- Whoa! -Yeah!
- Whoa! Amazing!
22
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,032
All right... oh.
23
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:56,842
Yep.
24
00:01:00,314 --> 00:01:01,922
There she is.
25
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,688
How are you feeling?
26
00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:05,335
I'm alive?
27
00:01:05,412 --> 00:01:07,237
Oh, you have no idea
how lucky you are.
28
00:01:07,305 --> 00:01:09,157
Yeah, wish we could say the same
for the Maserati.
29
00:01:09,224 --> 00:01:10,536
You frickin' accordioned it.
30
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:12,277
That's the third car
you've crashed this month.
31
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All right. Ease up.
32
00:01:13,451 --> 00:01:14,704
You brats have plenty of cars.
33
00:01:14,772 --> 00:01:15,968
There's only one Alba.
34
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They're right though:
you're gonna die.
35
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:18,868
I am out of control.
36
00:01:18,936 --> 00:01:21,461
- Yeah.
- I need to go to rehab.
37
00:01:21,529 --> 00:01:23,529
Oh, send me to the Promises
38
00:01:23,597 --> 00:01:24,797
- in Malibu.
- No.
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00:01:24,936 --> 00:01:26,192
I-I don't believe in rehab.
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00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:27,881
It's ruined
too many great musicians.
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It sucks the zip out of you.
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I don't want you
to lose your zip, Alba.
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I just want you to not die.
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00:01:32,974 --> 00:01:35,877
I huffed shoe polish yesterday.
45
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- Not in front of the kid.
- Well...
46
00:01:38,642 --> 00:01:39,916
Hey, Ben, you want
to go grab
47
00:01:39,984 --> 00:01:41,430
some candyout of
the vending machine?
48
00:01:41,498 --> 00:01:42,722
- Okay.
- Okay.
49
00:01:43,197 --> 00:01:45,588
- Mickey, I need help.
- All right,
50
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well, you do what
every normal person does,
51
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,197
and you go to church.
52
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Since when are you so religious?
53
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I'm not religious at all,
but I like church.
54
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Free donuts, coffee.
55
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Little wine
to take the edge off.
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00:01:54,093 --> 00:01:55,565
Then you confess
all the bad stuff you did
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and go home guilt-free,
ready to do it all over again.
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00:01:57,932 --> 00:01:59,650
Didn't your parents make you
go to church?
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00:01:59,718 --> 00:02:00,917
Yeah, they forced us
when we were little.
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00:02:00,984 --> 00:02:02,183
I hated church.
It was the worst.
61
00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:03,580
Yeah, you're supposed
to hate it.
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00:02:03,648 --> 00:02:05,360
Then you feel great
once you get through it.
63
00:02:05,427 --> 00:02:06,860
You got to go
to church sometimes.
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00:02:06,928 --> 00:02:08,176
But I don't believe in God.
65
00:02:08,251 --> 00:02:10,086
Yeah, neither do I.
That's not the point.
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- No. Isn't that the entire point?
- No,
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00:02:11,850 --> 00:02:13,548
the point is to make yourself
feel better,
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00:02:13,616 --> 00:02:14,782
reset the dials a little bit.
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00:02:14,850 --> 00:02:16,837
And Alba, when you go back
to church this weekend,
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00:02:16,905 --> 00:02:18,072
we're all gonna go with you.
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I think our souls could all use
a little oil change.
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So... this is God's house?
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That's the general idea.
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00:02:28,765 --> 00:02:29,953
Cool.
75
00:02:30,807 --> 00:02:31,974
Where's the kitchen?
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00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,499
I bet he has great snacks.
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No more questions for now,
okay, pal?
78
00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:37,237
Yeah,
the show's about to start.
79
00:02:37,314 --> 00:02:38,781
Okay, here we go.
Excuse me.
80
00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:40,172
Hot coffee, coming at ya.
81
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Watch it, move those feet.
82
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Here you go.
83
00:02:43,085 --> 00:02:44,444
- Oh.
- What?
84
00:02:44,562 --> 00:02:45,755
- It's hot.
- I told you.
85
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:46,961
Got you a donut.
86
00:02:48,039 --> 00:02:49,992
- Coconut.
- Yeah, they're free.
87
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:52,797
I feel like Jesus is looking
down on me in judgment.
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00:02:52,865 --> 00:02:54,594
Jesus doesn't judge,
that's his whole thing.
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Please rise.
90
00:02:55,820 --> 00:02:57,457
About time.
91
00:02:57,534 --> 00:02:59,430
Can't wait to see
this bloated sack of potatoes
92
00:02:59,498 --> 00:03:01,703
they yanked off the can
to emcee this thing.
93
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,700
Weird.
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00:03:07,777 --> 00:03:09,187
It's some young bro.
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00:03:09,488 --> 00:03:12,358
In the name of the Father,
the Son and the Holy Spirit.
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Amen.
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The Lord be with you.
98
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And also with you.
99
00:03:17,672 --> 00:03:18,866
Good morning.
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Welcome.
101
00:03:20,068 --> 00:03:21,424
Happy Sunday Funday.
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I am Father Zach.
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00:03:22,926 --> 00:03:24,883
Father Z, if you prefer.
104
00:03:25,322 --> 00:03:27,312
And to kick things off,
I thought,
105
00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:30,852
why don't we turn to thy
neighbor, and say "what's up?"
106
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Go ahead and give him a dap.
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00:03:32,459 --> 00:03:34,268
Dap it out. I'll wait.
108
00:03:34,336 --> 00:03:35,979
He's kind of a dork,
but I like the energy
109
00:03:36,047 --> 00:03:37,148
- in here, you know?
- Yeah.
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00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,484
Before we begin,
please silence your cell phones.
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00:03:39,726 --> 00:03:41,517
Unless you're posting
a photo of me,
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00:03:41,650 --> 00:03:44,258
in which case,
please, pick a good filter.
113
00:03:44,326 --> 00:03:45,973
Whoa.
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00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:47,297
Dude's got jokes.
115
00:03:47,365 --> 00:03:48,734
Okay. Let us pray.
116
00:03:48,802 --> 00:03:49,846
I don't get it.
117
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The show's over?
118
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Where's God?
119
00:03:52,613 --> 00:03:54,516
He's, uh, everywhere.
120
00:03:54,991 --> 00:03:56,284
Why can't we see him?
121
00:03:56,352 --> 00:03:57,766
I just wanted to say
hi.
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00:03:57,853 --> 00:03:59,701
Well, you can,
you know?
123
00:04:00,093 --> 00:04:01,836
He's in that candle,
right there.
124
00:04:02,609 --> 00:04:05,578
So God lives inside the candle?
125
00:04:05,709 --> 00:04:07,577
Well, he's not
literally inside of it.
126
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:10,523
I mean, the candle represents
God's presence in the church.
127
00:04:10,857 --> 00:04:13,484
So they built
this whole house...
128
00:04:15,103 --> 00:04:16,495
for a candle to live in?
129
00:04:16,602 --> 00:04:18,555
Well, no. I mean,
when you say it like that,
130
00:04:18,623 --> 00:04:19,744
it sounds ridiculous, but...
131
00:04:19,812 --> 00:04:21,901
- Has anybody even seen God?
- Okay, Ben,
132
00:04:21,969 --> 00:04:23,267
you're seeing God.
All right?
133
00:04:23,335 --> 00:04:24,660
He's in the candle.
134
00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:28,797
I don't think I believe in God.
135
00:04:31,794 --> 00:04:33,609
- Little psycho.
- Yeah.
136
00:04:33,819 --> 00:04:35,514
- Doesn't feel right.
- No.
137
00:04:35,594 --> 00:04:37,463
It sounds smart and progressive
when we say it,
138
00:04:37,531 --> 00:04:39,822
but we're adults. He's a kid;
he's not ready for that yet.
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00:04:39,890 --> 00:04:41,688
At that age, you got to be
terrified of something
140
00:04:41,755 --> 00:04:43,220
to keep you
from becoming a jackass.
141
00:04:43,298 --> 00:04:44,988
We got to nip this in the bud.
142
00:04:45,898 --> 00:04:47,367
The "butt," actually.
143
00:04:47,444 --> 00:04:49,078
It certainly is good
to see you, Father.
144
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,495
Father Zach?
145
00:04:50,563 --> 00:04:52,109
- That's me.
- Hi. Mickey Molng.
146
00:04:52,177 --> 00:04:54,430
This is my friend Alba.
She's a world-class sinner.
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00:04:54,498 --> 00:04:56,774
And we're, uh, wondering if you
got time for a quick confession.
148
00:04:56,841 --> 00:04:59,297
I-I haven't been to Mass
in quite some time.
149
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:01,190
Well, you're always
welcome back.
150
00:05:01,258 --> 00:05:02,969
Can I just say,
I thought religion
151
00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:05,656
was just a load of crap,
but that was a pretty great set.
152
00:05:05,724 --> 00:05:07,829
- I'm glad you enjoyed it.
- I'm so surprised
153
00:05:07,897 --> 00:05:09,782
how young you are. I thought
priests were, like, what? 90?
154
00:05:09,849 --> 00:05:11,133
Oh, we have one of those. Yeah.
155
00:05:11,201 --> 00:05:12,783
Father McCormick
is our head pastor.
156
00:05:12,851 --> 00:05:14,486
Think he's pushing
about a thousand now,
157
00:05:14,554 --> 00:05:16,109
but he's still killing it.
158
00:05:19,202 --> 00:05:21,125
I bet. Okay, um...
159
00:05:21,193 --> 00:05:23,319
- I'm gonna head out.
- You're welcome to stay.
160
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,425
Maybe God brought you here
for a reason, too.
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00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,299
Well, that's very sweet,
162
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:28,502
but I brought myself here.
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00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:30,610
In a Porsche 911 Turbo.
164
00:05:30,687 --> 00:05:33,219
So tell God thank you very much,
but I'm all set.
165
00:05:33,287 --> 00:05:36,055
Gonna go burn off some of that
good karma. Have fun.
166
00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:38,584
So let me, let me ask you
a question.
167
00:05:38,891 --> 00:05:41,104
Are you, like, are you writing
your own stuff,
168
00:05:41,172 --> 00:05:43,234
or are you just, like,
pulling that out of your ass?
169
00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:44,942
- Depends on the day.
- Ha!
170
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:50,397
There we go.
Oh, yeah.
171
00:05:50,693 --> 00:05:52,038
Hello, you.
172
00:05:53,381 --> 00:05:54,615
I'll take that.
173
00:05:54,683 --> 00:05:56,207
Make a sandwich.
174
00:05:56,372 --> 00:05:58,054
Don't play hard to get with me.
175
00:05:58,122 --> 00:05:59,616
I will find you.
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00:05:59,684 --> 00:06:02,119
Okay, lettuce there.
I'm healthy.
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00:06:02,357 --> 00:06:03,624
Let's see...
178
00:06:03,692 --> 00:06:05,702
- Tomato...
- Uh, Mickey?
179
00:06:05,770 --> 00:06:07,343
Oh, good Lord.
180
00:06:07,411 --> 00:06:10,522
Alba,
you brought home the Lord.
181
00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:13,452
Well, after all that confessing,
it really worked up an appetite,
182
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,952
so I invited Father Zach over
for dinner.
183
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,030
- It's so good to see you again.
- I'm not drunk.
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00:06:18,631 --> 00:06:19,844
All right.
185
00:06:20,039 --> 00:06:21,441
You want me
to make you something?
186
00:06:21,568 --> 00:06:23,929
No, I-I want to...
I'm gonna make it.
187
00:06:24,167 --> 00:06:25,655
Ah, it's so late though.
188
00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:26,889
Right?
189
00:06:27,091 --> 00:06:28,929
I'm gonna make it in my bed.
190
00:06:29,093 --> 00:06:31,718
- Can I give you a hand with...?
- No, I'm good. I just...
191
00:06:37,543 --> 00:06:39,678
Good evening to you both.
192
00:06:42,741 --> 00:06:44,066
What time is it?
193
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,410
6:00 a.m.
194
00:06:45,737 --> 00:06:47,176
Why are we up?
195
00:06:47,244 --> 00:06:49,769
Well, because we've got
a breakfast date with the Lord.
196
00:06:49,837 --> 00:06:51,685
Really? What's for breakfast?
197
00:06:51,753 --> 00:06:54,605
Well, there isn't any food
per se, but that's all right,
198
00:06:54,673 --> 00:06:57,746
because we are going to feast
on this.
199
00:06:58,449 --> 00:06:59,572
Huh?
200
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,176
I mean, come on. Tell me that's
not proof of God right there.
201
00:07:02,244 --> 00:07:04,058
- The sunrise?
- Yeah, well...
202
00:07:04,126 --> 00:07:07,364
It's not just a sunrise; I mean,
those blazing oranges
203
00:07:07,432 --> 00:07:10,647
and those simmering pinks,
those brilliant reds...
204
00:07:10,715 --> 00:07:12,317
Who do you think
made those colors?
205
00:07:12,385 --> 00:07:14,577
My teacher said
it's because of smog.
206
00:07:14,645 --> 00:07:16,136
Did God make smog?
207
00:07:16,323 --> 00:07:18,558
Uh... yeah, I guess he did.
208
00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:21,906
- But I thought smog was bad?
- Let's-let's back up.
209
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,847
Humans are responsible for smog.
210
00:07:23,915 --> 00:07:26,144
But then, you know,
God made humans,
211
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,131
so I guess God made smog
212
00:07:28,199 --> 00:07:30,394
and then turned it
into a beautiful sunrise.
213
00:07:30,512 --> 00:07:32,801
So, God kind of makes
everything?
214
00:07:32,941 --> 00:07:34,033
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
215
00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:35,873
- What about trees?
- Yeah.
216
00:07:35,941 --> 00:07:37,347
- Dogs?
- Sure.
217
00:07:37,497 --> 00:07:38,793
What about poop?
218
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,274
Yeah, okay.
219
00:07:40,351 --> 00:07:41,535
Even diarrhea?
220
00:07:41,621 --> 00:07:43,696
You know what? Let's just
leave it here for the day.
221
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,147
Yeah, let's just take a minute
222
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,926
to gather our thoughts
and, for now, enjoy the sunrise.
223
00:07:48,205 --> 00:07:50,621
All right,
I'll stare at the smog.
224
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:54,983
Ugh, I feel like
I've been hit by a bus.
225
00:07:55,051 --> 00:07:56,433
Ooh.
226
00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:58,458
What's this?
227
00:07:58,535 --> 00:08:00,226
Why, it's Sunday.
228
00:08:00,303 --> 00:08:02,339
I know how much you like
to watch your football.
229
00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:03,974
- This is all for me?
- Yeah.
230
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,099
Aw, man, that's so sweet.
231
00:08:06,177 --> 00:08:07,731
I knew a little church
would be good for you.
232
00:08:07,798 --> 00:08:09,153
- Ah...
- Look at you being all of service.
233
00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:10,652
Nah, nah, it's nothing.
234
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:14,097
- Ugh. Make it stop.
- Yeah. I-I go get it.
235
00:08:18,137 --> 00:08:19,613
Look who's here.
236
00:08:21,576 --> 00:08:23,058
- Hey.
- Hey.
237
00:08:23,183 --> 00:08:24,928
What are you doing?
What's he doing here?
238
00:08:24,996 --> 00:08:26,342
Yeah, I invited him.
You know,
239
00:08:26,410 --> 00:08:28,183
I think that Father Zach
is a bigger Pats fan
240
00:08:28,251 --> 00:08:29,311
than you are.
241
00:08:29,379 --> 00:08:32,335
And on the eighth day,
God made Tom Brady.
242
00:08:33,941 --> 00:08:35,340
Yeah.
243
00:08:35,651 --> 00:08:37,386
Isn't football a little rough
for a priest?
244
00:08:37,462 --> 00:08:40,043
With all the concussions
and murderers.
245
00:08:40,222 --> 00:08:42,090
No, the big hits
are the best part of the game.
246
00:08:42,207 --> 00:08:44,347
Plus, these guys are getting
paid millions of dollars.
247
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:47,384
This CTE business, I mean,
they know what they're getting into.
248
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:48,879
Plus, they're wearing helmets.
249
00:08:48,953 --> 00:08:51,808
- Hey, does anyone want a beer?
- Mm...
250
00:08:51,876 --> 00:08:53,402
No. No, thank you.
251
00:08:53,498 --> 00:08:54,988
I would love one.
252
00:08:55,125 --> 00:08:56,683
- Is that all right?
- No, here.
253
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:58,623
- I'll get you an opener.
- No, no, no, no.
254
00:08:58,691 --> 00:08:59,894
Got one with me.
255
00:09:00,441 --> 00:09:02,183
Whoa, that's cool.
256
00:09:03,463 --> 00:09:05,551
Father Z?
What are you doing here?
257
00:09:05,636 --> 00:09:07,538
What's up, Chip?
I'm just watching Tom Brady
258
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,863
spread the gospel.
259
00:09:09,272 --> 00:09:10,830
You rocking the new Durants?
260
00:09:10,907 --> 00:09:13,715
Good eye, bro. My vertical's
insane now. You hoop?
261
00:09:13,784 --> 00:09:15,413
I played a little
college ball at UConn,
262
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,644
but I mostly rode the bench.
263
00:09:16,712 --> 00:09:18,134
You want to shoot around
at halftime?
264
00:09:18,202 --> 00:09:19,355
Hell yeah.
265
00:09:20,066 --> 00:09:22,683
- What a great kid.
- Yeah.
266
00:09:23,535 --> 00:09:26,051
Oh, come on, you got to wrap up
on those tackles!
267
00:09:26,289 --> 00:09:28,759
All right, let's go, TB.
Let's get back in this thing.
268
00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,060
Yeah, let's go.
269
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,062
Here we go, Pats!
270
00:09:33,881 --> 00:09:34,919
All right, Ben.
271
00:09:34,987 --> 00:09:37,499
Sometimes a higher being doesn't
always present itself to you
272
00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:38,992
in a church or a sunset.
273
00:09:39,231 --> 00:09:42,216
A spiritual experience can find
you when you least expect it.
274
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:45,241
Now, for me, it was
The String Cheese Incident.
275
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,733
Red Rocks, '96.
276
00:09:46,810 --> 00:09:50,028
They played for seven straight
hours in 108 degree heat.
277
00:09:50,137 --> 00:09:53,083
A set so divine
and filled with love
278
00:09:53,348 --> 00:09:55,593
that your little mind
couldn't possibly grasp it
279
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:56,882
through mere description.
280
00:09:56,950 --> 00:10:01,067
Luckily, big ol' Jimbo
bootlegged it.
281
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:07,251
Yeah.
282
00:10:07,430 --> 00:10:09,317
This is God?
283
00:10:09,881 --> 00:10:11,733
Well, I-it is if
you're a drug addict
284
00:10:11,801 --> 00:10:13,710
and you like to listen
to 40-minute-long songs
285
00:10:13,778 --> 00:10:15,898
and spin around in circles
until you have a seizure.
286
00:10:15,966 --> 00:10:17,156
Shh.
287
00:10:17,224 --> 00:10:18,532
Geez, I'm shredded tonight.
288
00:10:18,609 --> 00:10:20,443
- Let me get some of that K.
- No can do.
289
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,013
- Already took it.
- All of it? Dude, not cool.
290
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,582
- You were supposed to drive back.
- I'm fine.
291
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:27,469
It doesn't sound very good.
292
00:10:27,607 --> 00:10:30,109
Well, yeah, I mean the speakers
aren't great, you know.
293
00:10:30,186 --> 00:10:31,788
You need a woofer
to really capture
294
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,146
the essence of their sound.
295
00:10:33,223 --> 00:10:34,581
Some ketamine would help, too.
296
00:10:34,650 --> 00:10:36,716
Okay. You know what?
When the glockenspiel comes in,
297
00:10:36,896 --> 00:10:38,208
you're really gonna understand.
298
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:42,458
No offense, but if this is God,
I don't think I'm a fan.
299
00:10:45,068 --> 00:10:46,466
Yeah, that went well.
300
00:10:46,867 --> 00:10:48,200
If he's not gonna open his mind,
301
00:10:48,268 --> 00:10:49,906
then there's not a lot
I can do for him.
302
00:10:49,974 --> 00:10:51,307
I don't know.
Maybe it's too late.
303
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,299
We're just going
about this too abstract.
304
00:10:53,376 --> 00:10:55,172
You know, I mean, think
about it like Santa Claus.
305
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,847
You don't explain
to a kid the physics
306
00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:59,263
of some fatso cramming his ass
307
00:10:59,331 --> 00:11:01,411
down seven billion chimneys
in a night.
308
00:11:01,479 --> 00:11:02,576
No, of course not.
309
00:11:02,653 --> 00:11:04,054
You-you just drive him
to the mall,
310
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,980
get his picture taken
with some child molester,
311
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,263
and eat a couple of his cookies
before he wakes up.
312
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:11,105
Ben wants to see God...
313
00:11:11,917 --> 00:11:14,036
let's show him God.
314
00:11:18,888 --> 00:11:22,520
Dude, your stroke is frickin'
wet from behind the arc.
315
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:24,398
Don't tell me you can dunk, too.
316
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:27,678
Don't worry, I won't.
I'll just show you.
317
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,179
Oh! Wow!
318
00:11:30,501 --> 00:11:32,843
What?! Oh, my God.
319
00:11:33,016 --> 00:11:34,328
How did you do that?
320
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,653
It's hot out here, man.
321
00:11:36,748 --> 00:11:37,941
Damn!
322
00:11:38,009 --> 00:11:39,374
Father's got mad ink.
323
00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:40,804
You look like
frickin' John Wick.
324
00:11:40,872 --> 00:11:42,947
I didn't know priests
could get tatted up like that.
325
00:11:43,015 --> 00:11:44,731
Yeah, it sounds like
you got some misconceptions
326
00:11:44,798 --> 00:11:45,801
about the church.
327
00:11:45,869 --> 00:11:47,411
You think it's all
sinners and judgment.
328
00:11:47,478 --> 00:11:49,223
But the way I see it,
every Sunday,
329
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:50,770
God throws
a kick-ass house party
330
00:11:50,838 --> 00:11:52,121
and all the sinners are invited.
331
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,196
I mean, I-I will admit,
332
00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:54,933
- it does look cool to be center stage
- Yeah.
333
00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:56,949
Like that. You must feel like
a frickin' rock star.
334
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,409
No, no, no, no.
God's the real rock star.
335
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:03,244
I just feel like I'm a DJ
remixing his hottest jams.
336
00:12:06,824 --> 00:12:08,593
That's all right.
That's all right.
337
00:12:08,783 --> 00:12:10,020
- Yeah.
- You know what?
338
00:12:10,088 --> 00:12:12,256
I did have an altar boy
drop out this weekend.
339
00:12:12,324 --> 00:12:13,986
If you feel like
subbing on Sunday.
340
00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:16,215
Uh... no-no offense,
341
00:12:16,292 --> 00:12:19,705
but those white dresses are...
are kind of lame.
342
00:12:19,924 --> 00:12:21,408
You know, when you're up there,
343
00:12:21,510 --> 00:12:24,534
you're feeling all that energy,
it doesn't matter what you wear.
344
00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,536
You're cloaked
in God's love, son.
345
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,179
Off the glass.
346
00:12:29,295 --> 00:12:30,295
Whoa!
347
00:12:36,252 --> 00:12:37,981
Mickey?
348
00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:40,660
What is going on?
349
00:12:40,728 --> 00:12:41,896
You don't just sneak up
on somebody...
350
00:12:41,963 --> 00:12:43,286
like that, you know what I mean?
351
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:45,545
If you wanted a beer,
why didn't you just say so?
352
00:12:45,622 --> 00:12:47,658
Because I can't be myself
in front of that guy.
353
00:12:47,735 --> 00:12:49,048
He makes me uncomfortable.
354
00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:50,560
It's like driving next to a cop.
355
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,492
- Well, he's just a priest.
- He's not.
356
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:53,984
- He's not just a priest.
- Well...
357
00:12:54,052 --> 00:12:56,176
Priests don't wear normal
clothes and play basketball.
358
00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,752
They're old and ugly
and mean and boring.
359
00:12:58,838 --> 00:13:00,970
You are the one who told me
to go to him.
360
00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:02,642
Yes. I told you to go to him.
361
00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:05,317
Maybe once or something,
not bring him in here.
362
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:06,611
I think you are overreacting.
363
00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,267
Okay, well, how's this
for overreacting?
364
00:13:08,335 --> 00:13:09,767
I forbid you
to ever see him again.
365
00:13:09,835 --> 00:13:11,137
- Mm-hmm.
- Father Zach
366
00:13:11,214 --> 00:13:12,759
has been so helpful to me
367
00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:14,738
- in my darkest hour.
- That's what they do.
368
00:13:14,806 --> 00:13:16,300
They find the weakest person
they can
369
00:13:16,368 --> 00:13:18,063
and make them feel like
the chosen one.
370
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,152
Yo!
371
00:13:19,220 --> 00:13:21,758
Guess who Father Z hand-selected
to be his new altar boy?
372
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:22,959
This guy!
373
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,283
Hey, now!
374
00:13:24,351 --> 00:13:26,383
Let's just hope he praises
better than he dribbles.
375
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:29,151
You're right.
I got to work on that.
376
00:13:29,235 --> 00:13:30,776
You're doing okay.
You're doing okay.
377
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,827
- Ah, it could be better. Oh!
- That's good. Oh!
378
00:13:33,904 --> 00:13:37,031
- That's tight, huh?
- Such a great... whoa! Ah!
379
00:13:37,225 --> 00:13:41,396
Look it, I got it.
And I gave it back.
380
00:13:42,542 --> 00:13:44,166
- Father McCormick?
- Yes.
381
00:13:44,243 --> 00:13:46,180
Hi, I'm Mickey,
new to your parish.
382
00:13:46,248 --> 00:13:47,364
Do you have a second?
383
00:13:47,432 --> 00:13:49,994
- Yes, please come in.
- Thank you.
384
00:13:50,175 --> 00:13:52,818
Listen, um,
385
00:13:52,911 --> 00:13:55,193
I got a problem
with one of your priests.
386
00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:57,497
N-Not a kid problem.
387
00:13:57,566 --> 00:13:59,701
Oh, no, sorry.
It's about Father Zach.
388
00:13:59,802 --> 00:14:01,888
He's not who he says he is.
389
00:14:02,388 --> 00:14:04,193
That man is leading
a double life.
390
00:14:04,356 --> 00:14:07,372
I see. Uh, please, go on.
391
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,958
Just yesterday, in my home,
392
00:14:09,026 --> 00:14:12,419
I watched him drink
upwards of two beers.
393
00:14:12,489 --> 00:14:15,466
Oh. Well, there's nothing
wrong with that.
394
00:14:15,762 --> 00:14:17,339
You sure about that?
395
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,904
Oh, I'm quite certain.
396
00:14:21,013 --> 00:14:24,943
Nothing wrong
with an occasional libation.
397
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:26,544
Oh.
398
00:14:27,229 --> 00:14:28,430
Would you?
399
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,326
Is it a trick?
400
00:14:30,394 --> 00:14:32,091
- No.
- Oh.
401
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:33,551
Thank you.
402
00:14:33,729 --> 00:14:37,044
Well, he was definitely
not wearing his uniform.
403
00:14:37,112 --> 00:14:39,255
That's got to be
some sort of infraction.
404
00:14:39,352 --> 00:14:41,733
Well, I don't think that is.
No, no.
405
00:14:42,076 --> 00:14:44,677
I'm sorry, is there something
I can help you with?
406
00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:48,047
Yes, you can, you can help me
get rid of the guy, you know.
407
00:14:48,115 --> 00:14:49,326
I-I don't like him.
408
00:14:49,394 --> 00:14:52,297
I-I... he rubs me the wrong way
and something's off.
409
00:14:52,398 --> 00:14:55,881
Look, between you and me,
I'm also not a fan.
410
00:14:56,036 --> 00:14:58,380
But unfortunately,
there's nothing I can do.
411
00:14:58,448 --> 00:15:00,958
What are you talking about?
You're the pastor.
412
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:02,732
You know, you're the boss
around here.
413
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:06,396
N-Not the boss-boss, but-but
you're pretty high up there.
414
00:15:06,476 --> 00:15:07,724
It's not that simple.
415
00:15:07,802 --> 00:15:10,111
Since Zachary joined our parish,
416
00:15:10,224 --> 00:15:13,013
we've had quite
the spike in donations.
417
00:15:13,857 --> 00:15:15,810
I see.
418
00:15:16,139 --> 00:15:17,397
Okay.
419
00:15:17,482 --> 00:15:18,619
So it's a money thing.
420
00:15:18,742 --> 00:15:20,711
Now you're speaking my language.
421
00:15:24,018 --> 00:15:25,560
Here you go.
422
00:15:25,798 --> 00:15:26,855
What's that?
423
00:15:26,932 --> 00:15:28,757
That's a Porsche 911 Turbo.
424
00:15:28,912 --> 00:15:30,547
Got a quarter tank of gas
and it's parked
425
00:15:30,615 --> 00:15:33,294
right out front in a handicapped
spot, nice and easy for you.
426
00:15:33,362 --> 00:15:35,553
Well, that's very kind,
but I'm not quite sure
427
00:15:35,690 --> 00:15:37,549
what the church would do
with a Porsche.
428
00:15:37,617 --> 00:15:39,498
I myself rarely drive.
429
00:15:39,566 --> 00:15:41,558
Eh, you'll pick it right up
or sell it for parts.
430
00:15:41,626 --> 00:15:43,628
Hell, drive it straight
to heaven for all I care.
431
00:15:43,724 --> 00:15:45,282
Just please transfer him.
432
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:49,529
Well, there is an opening
in Baltimore.
433
00:15:49,646 --> 00:15:50,751
Baltimore.
434
00:15:50,828 --> 00:15:51,904
Love Baltimore.
435
00:15:51,972 --> 00:15:53,739
Beautiful city. Stone crabs.
436
00:15:53,807 --> 00:15:55,247
Well, I don't know.
437
00:15:55,315 --> 00:15:56,863
Oh, come on.
438
00:15:57,433 --> 00:15:59,135
Give yourself a little credit.
439
00:15:59,203 --> 00:16:01,085
I think you do know.
440
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,587
But don't do it for me.
441
00:16:03,740 --> 00:16:05,388
Do it for this guy.
442
00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:07,569
I'll leave you two alone.
443
00:16:07,763 --> 00:16:09,554
Mull it over.
444
00:16:10,435 --> 00:16:13,240
♪♪
445
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,677
♪ Áve ♪
446
00:16:16,745 --> 00:16:19,701
♪ Maria ♪
447
00:16:19,769 --> 00:16:22,826
♪ Maria ♪
448
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:28,633
♪ Grátia pléna... ♪
449
00:16:29,013 --> 00:16:30,701
Mick.
450
00:16:30,976 --> 00:16:34,970
ALBA and ZACH:
♪ Maria grátia pléna...
451
00:16:35,431 --> 00:16:36,956
What are you doing here?
452
00:16:37,024 --> 00:16:38,515
Just came to enjoy the show.
453
00:16:38,843 --> 00:16:40,678
Got a feeling it's gonna be
a good one.
454
00:16:40,863 --> 00:16:43,363
Ah, you bet your sweet
little ass it is.
455
00:16:43,796 --> 00:16:45,668
Okay. How you doing, buddy?
456
00:16:45,736 --> 00:16:47,871
Good. Even though God
isn't real,
457
00:16:47,939 --> 00:16:49,918
I still like the songs
and stuff.
458
00:16:50,097 --> 00:16:51,363
Nice.
459
00:16:51,522 --> 00:16:53,441
Oh, I wouldn't be
so sure about that.
460
00:16:53,624 --> 00:16:56,160
You keep your eyes peeled,
you might just see him.
461
00:16:56,237 --> 00:16:57,485
Yeah.
462
00:16:57,562 --> 00:16:59,019
I-I'm having second thoughts.
463
00:16:59,146 --> 00:17:00,637
Yeah, don't be nervous.
464
00:17:00,972 --> 00:17:02,723
I'm not nervous.
465
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,124
It's just an idiotic plan.
466
00:17:04,201 --> 00:17:06,652
Okay, you know what?
We're here, so we're doing it.
467
00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:10,831
Thank you, Alba.
468
00:17:10,899 --> 00:17:12,636
That sounded so beautiful.
469
00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:16,113
Before we begin,
I have some unfortunate news
470
00:17:16,222 --> 00:17:17,417
to share with all of you.
471
00:17:17,519 --> 00:17:20,222
Yeah.
Enjoy Baltimore, bitch.
472
00:17:21,095 --> 00:17:23,995
Father McCormick was
in a car accident last night.
473
00:17:24,265 --> 00:17:26,675
He drove a Porsche into a pond.
474
00:17:26,762 --> 00:17:28,698
Uh, miraculously, he survived.
475
00:17:28,899 --> 00:17:30,206
Oh, come on, old man.
476
00:17:30,274 --> 00:17:32,816
So let's please all keep him
in our prayers.
477
00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:34,558
- Oh...
- And in the meantime,
478
00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:37,058
I will be serving
as your head pastor.
479
00:17:37,409 --> 00:17:38,824
Oh, well, this is just great.
480
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,331
For today's sermon,
481
00:17:40,488 --> 00:17:42,716
I'd like
to talk to you about temptation.
482
00:17:42,925 --> 00:17:45,230
It's everywhere, folks.
483
00:17:45,628 --> 00:17:48,402
Serpents slither among us
484
00:17:48,495 --> 00:17:49,949
and takes many forms.
485
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:52,728
Apparent strangers, coworkers,
486
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,657
even so-called friends.
487
00:17:55,725 --> 00:17:58,798
Okay, okay. You can stop
dancing around.
488
00:17:58,866 --> 00:18:00,439
I'm the serpent he's talking
about. -
489
00:18:00,507 --> 00:18:02,587
I'm the one who
gave McCormick the Porsche.
490
00:18:02,765 --> 00:18:04,673
Wha...? Why would you do that?
491
00:18:04,741 --> 00:18:06,712
So he would cast this man
out of our lives
492
00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:08,777
and into the fiery streets
of Baltimore.
493
00:18:08,845 --> 00:18:11,048
Damn it, Mickey.
Those aren't your cars to give.
494
00:18:11,116 --> 00:18:12,160
Silence, Sabrina!
495
00:18:12,228 --> 00:18:15,853
You, Father "Z,"
you're the real serpent.
496
00:18:16,071 --> 00:18:17,898
Just slither around my house,
497
00:18:17,975 --> 00:18:20,603
being all casual about religion,
not taking it seriously.
498
00:18:20,671 --> 00:18:21,946
I take it very seriously.
499
00:18:22,014 --> 00:18:23,501
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I'm a priest.
500
00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:25,550
Well, whoever you are, Zach,
501
00:18:25,673 --> 00:18:27,400
beer-drinking basketball buddy.
502
00:18:27,495 --> 00:18:30,477
Yeah, whatever mask
you choose to wear right now.
503
00:18:30,545 --> 00:18:32,099
You've turned my friend
into something
504
00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:33,524
I don't even recognize anymore.
505
00:18:33,601 --> 00:18:35,751
She has a very serious
drinking problem.
506
00:18:35,819 --> 00:18:38,446
Okay, well, now she has
a very serious church problem.
507
00:18:38,514 --> 00:18:40,150
You don't see you just took
one addiction
508
00:18:40,218 --> 00:18:41,470
and replaced it with another?
509
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,017
I'm just trying not to die.
510
00:18:43,085 --> 00:18:45,337
Well, news flash:
you are gonna die.
511
00:18:45,456 --> 00:18:46,970
You're all gonna die.
512
00:18:47,071 --> 00:18:48,829
- What?
- Not, I mean, not right now.
513
00:18:48,897 --> 00:18:51,457
I'm not gonna... That's not what I meant.
You're safe... for now.
514
00:18:51,525 --> 00:18:52,939
I'm not gonna do anything.
515
00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:00,235
She's right. This is idiotic.
516
00:19:00,352 --> 00:19:02,821
If you accept God
into your heart,
517
00:19:02,996 --> 00:19:05,095
you'll walk with him
in the kingdom of heaven.
518
00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:07,892
Oh, yeah? Okay, cool.
You got proof of that?
519
00:19:08,102 --> 00:19:10,407
- I see proof of God every day.
- Do you?
520
00:19:10,475 --> 00:19:12,064
I-I-I can't wait to see it.
521
00:19:12,132 --> 00:19:14,696
Show me. Please.
Excited to see the proof.
522
00:19:14,933 --> 00:19:16,767
Go ahead. Let's see it.
523
00:19:17,564 --> 00:19:19,306
Aah! Oh.
524
00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:20,871
Ooh, that's hot. Oh, my...
525
00:19:22,737 --> 00:19:24,606
How can you just stand there?
I'm on fire!
526
00:19:24,674 --> 00:19:25,681
I'm on fire!
527
00:19:25,838 --> 00:19:27,377
Oh, my God!
528
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,815
Oh, no. Oh, no!
529
00:19:43,909 --> 00:19:46,479
Stay in school, Ben.
530
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:56,097
She's awake.
531
00:19:57,392 --> 00:19:58,762
I'm alive?
532
00:19:58,903 --> 00:20:01,694
- By the grace of God.
- It was so cool.
533
00:20:01,762 --> 00:20:04,340
God smited you because
you were being blasphemous,
534
00:20:04,457 --> 00:20:07,808
but then he saved you because
he's merciful and forgiving,
535
00:20:07,894 --> 00:20:09,704
but then, he pointed right at me
536
00:20:09,781 --> 00:20:12,019
and told me to work extra hard
in school.
537
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:15,191
And now, I'm gonna be the Pope
when I grow up.
538
00:20:16,355 --> 00:20:18,713
Okay, we might've
laid too strong of a foundation.
539
00:20:18,790 --> 00:20:21,159
I mean, he literally witnessed
God perform a miracle.
540
00:20:21,236 --> 00:20:23,426
Yeah, we can blow
that up in about two seconds.
541
00:20:23,524 --> 00:20:25,121
I think I'm done with church.
542
00:20:25,273 --> 00:20:26,910
You know, I got way too extreme.
543
00:20:26,978 --> 00:20:28,103
I got to stop that.
544
00:20:28,171 --> 00:20:29,848
From now on,
I'm just gonna be chill.
545
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:31,301
I'm just gonna be super chill.
546
00:20:31,369 --> 00:20:33,236
I'm gonna start meditating,
doing yoga.
547
00:20:33,304 --> 00:20:35,398
All right, Alba, you're getting
extreme about being chill.
548
00:20:35,465 --> 00:20:36,574
It's happening again.
549
00:20:36,642 --> 00:20:38,285
Yeah, you're right.
I got to chill out.
550
00:20:38,353 --> 00:20:39,973
Yeah, I think I'm done
with church, too.
551
00:20:40,041 --> 00:20:41,389
Father Z's just a bummer.
552
00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:42,613
Such a waste of talent.
553
00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:44,199
He could be out there
waxing ass,
554
00:20:44,267 --> 00:20:46,873
but instead he's like,
"No, we just feed bread to old people."
555
00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:48,084
Forget that place.
556
00:20:48,152 --> 00:20:50,105
Mm. I don't know.
557
00:20:50,199 --> 00:20:51,389
I might go back.
558
00:20:51,731 --> 00:20:53,012
What?
559
00:20:53,168 --> 00:20:55,894
I-I feel like I've been reborn,
you know?
560
00:20:56,433 --> 00:21:00,087
Like I've gotten a-a new lease
on life and...
561
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,258
if that's not proof
of God, I don't know what is.
562
00:21:04,335 --> 00:21:06,204
Yeah, it's either that
or the morphine.
563
00:21:06,281 --> 00:21:07,473
Hmm?
564
00:21:07,541 --> 00:21:09,738
They've been pumping you
full of that stuff for hours.
565
00:21:09,806 --> 00:21:11,144
I told them not to hold back.
566
00:21:11,238 --> 00:21:12,402
She can take it.
567
00:21:12,573 --> 00:21:15,221
Oh, that's nice.
Synchronized by srjanapala
568
00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:19,128
Okay, well, Alba, be an angel
and, uh, hit me again.
569
00:21:19,502 --> 00:21:21,848
Yeah, I got you. I got you.
570
00:21:21,926 --> 00:21:24,422
- There you go.
- Mmm.
571
00:21:25,305 --> 00:21:31,588
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