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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,272 Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 2 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,874 Come and watch pikeys making a mess 3 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,555 of the lives they were given by 'im upstairs... 4 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,598 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:15,795 Wicked! 6 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,199 Piss off! 7 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,068 What sounds on Earth could ever replace 8 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,197 kids needing money or wives in your face? 9 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,635 Cos this, people reckon - me included - 10 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,188 is why pubs and drugs 11 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,872 were kindly invented... 12 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,474 To calm us all down and stop us going mental. 13 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:38,270 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 14 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:44,515 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes... 15 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,079 You sit on our head, 16 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,833 but... you pay the taxes. 17 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,319 CHEERING 18 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,073 lmagine Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 19 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,391 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer, eh? 20 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:57,959 Eh! 21 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:01,794 Make poverty history. Cheaper drugs now! 22 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:06,749 Make poverty history! Cheaper drugs now! 23 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,159 CHUCKLES 24 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,869 Scatter! Party! 25 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,875 CHOKES 26 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,518 (Frank) 'Still waiting for my moment. 27 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:27,071 'Not that 15 minutes bollocks, you know, a real one. 28 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:31,836 'And when my hour doth cometh, I am the man to filleth it. 29 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,275 'All I want is to show the bastards. 30 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,032 'You know, proper like. 31 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,395 'You know that Kipling twat? He nailed it.' 32 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,391 Someone call an ambulance! 33 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,994 He needs Heimlich Manoeuvre. 34 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,277 Help him. Will someone give him a hand, for fuck's sake? 35 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,591 'Lf all around lose their heads and you're... Blah, blah. 36 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,673 'Look it up, I've set the scene. If you're not in any personal danger, 37 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,797 'step in, mate. Save the day. 38 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,189 'What's more, you'll be a man, my son.' 39 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,271 (Shane) Calm down. Just stay there. 40 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,032 Help him, for fuck's sake! 41 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,429 'Yeah... 42 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,158 'Massive.' 43 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,157 - I've only got these. - Put 'em down. 44 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,189 Crawling all over my tits fresh out of prison. Irish twat. 45 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,238 'Scuse me, could I trouble one of... 46 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,435 Fuck off, Frank. 47 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,398 More sensitive soul could take offence, you know. 48 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,994 This is Paddy Smith. 49 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,435 Aye, aye. No need to brick it. 50 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,273 Shut your noise! This is the man who was put away 51 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,316 for crushing bigger fish than us! 52 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,597 Runs a firm 20 times bigger than ours, and I've infringed on his market 53 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,399 while he's been absent. There's cause for apprehension. 54 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,118 Yeah, but he might let us keep it 55 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,269 if we give him a bung. 56 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,511 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He won't be doing me any favours. 57 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,033 Why not? 58 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:52,439 Paddy Smith is Other Paddy. 59 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,754 Your mother's first boyfriend. 60 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,799 She dumped him for me. 61 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:05,078 Jesus, Shane, and to think I could've had a wank instead of you. 62 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,038 'I mean, what's wrong with wanting to be a hero? ' 63 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,712 - Come on, Dad. - Stand back! 64 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,756 'Nowt.' Crash trolley! 65 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:19,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 66 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,394 COUGHS NOISILY 67 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:27,788 Ow! 68 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:41,035 You saved my life. You fucking hero! 69 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,158 Form is temporary. Class is permanent. 70 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,277 I'm completely shit-faced. 71 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,990 Ah! Drinks all round! 72 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,914 I mean, what kind of a mutant peanut is that? 73 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,036 It's a cashew. 74 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,756 That's not a pub nut. 75 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,353 Is this a wine bar? 76 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,352 Are we going metro-fucking-sexual here? 77 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:15,152 - I was just trying something new. - Oh, something new with a cashew! 78 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:20,394 Yeah, well, lucky it was your da', or you'd be the one choking now. 79 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:24,155 Two in one night. Chatsworth's Oscar Schindler. 80 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,676 We're brothers now, Frank. There's a blood debt. 81 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,672 You're gonna find out what Patrick Maguire's like 82 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,194 when he's sincerely grateful. 83 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,790 Can I have 14 more drinks, please? 84 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,791 LAUGHS 85 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,711 GLASS SMASHES 86 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,711 MUSIC: Brimful Of Asha by Cornershop 87 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,995 THEY SING ALONG DRUNKENLY 88 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,115 Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow 89 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,349 Everybody needs... 90 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:05,713 What you doing? 91 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,678 Sorry. 92 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,512 I forgot we'd changed beds. 93 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,196 I wasn't gonna bum ya! 94 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,913 I know you weren't. It's all right. 95 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,956 I'm totally cool with the gay thing. 96 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,039 You what? 97 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,314 I'm cool. 98 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,153 That's cool. I'm cool with you being cool. 99 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,595 Piss off. 100 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,432 (Carl) I'm telling you, he fancies you. 101 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,273 How've we gone from no-one knowing or talking about it 102 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,793 to everyone having an opinion? 103 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:50,351 Opinions are like bumholes, everyone's got one. They all stink. 104 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,796 He were asking after ya. 105 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,836 - Mr Scott? - Yeah, why wouldn't he? 106 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,069 He lives with another teacher. 107 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,832 Not any more. 108 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,592 Above the greengrocer's on Tuttle Street. 109 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,511 Virgil Kenyatta's dad owns it. 110 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,275 Scotty moved out a week ago when his boyfriend chucked him. 111 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,477 And now he's asking after you. Hmm. What could this mean? 112 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:11,874 He's just your type an' all. 113 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,518 A geography teacher? 114 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,874 (Debbie) Fit. Available. 115 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,190 Knows all about oxbow lakes. 116 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,716 Oh, a teacher? Didn't know you went for older women, Ian? 117 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,030 It's a bloke. 118 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,395 Oh. Trying to turn you, is he? 119 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:30,317 Hiya, Carl. You walking to school? 120 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,668 Er... yeah. 121 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,189 (Ian) Who's that? 122 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,556 Sarah Berry. School dick magnet. 123 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,029 So what you doing tonight, then? 124 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,189 Come on Chesney. Hey! 125 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,714 Me mum wants you to do a few hours in the shop. 126 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,119 - When? - Now. 127 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,599 Can't one of youse do it? 128 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:51,669 She won't let us bunk off. 129 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,955 Looks like we're only walking to the shop. 130 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,553 You walkin' us an' all? 131 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:56,789 Get off, Meena. 132 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,836 Don't mind me. 133 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,033 Got mice. Little bastards. 134 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,395 Are vegetarians allowed to say that? 135 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:11,393 Anything that leaves a trail of piss behind it deserves to die, horribly. 136 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,038 Get stuffed. 137 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,635 Well, I didn't mean you! Touchy... 138 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,871 Says he didn't wet the bed. He was putting out a fire. 139 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,473 Look at the state, Deb. 140 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:25,792 I'm living in a shit-heap attached to a shit-hole. 141 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,838 Mooning over her bloody highness up there. 142 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,957 What's she doing in my room? 143 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,155 She's after it. 144 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,593 Well, it is four times the size of hers. 145 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:35,954 Bitch! 146 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:40,079 She's not having it. She's only a squatter! Same as you. 147 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,071 Oh, well, thanks very much. 148 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:46,551 Well, you are. Look at the state of this yard. It's full of crap. 149 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,392 If you're staying, it's your space. 150 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,119 So get off your arse and do something about it. 151 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,713 Well, tell it like it is, why don't you? 152 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,756 You're such a moaner! 153 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,798 Make a decision and put some effort in. 154 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,194 Get that kettle on, Carl! 155 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,633 (Boy) Shit! 156 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,711 Got a throat like Thursday's bhaji here. 157 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,870 There's more teabags under the sink. 158 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,952 Don't use the ones in the shop. I don't drink counterfeit. 159 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,678 Carl? 160 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,432 Yeah? 161 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,754 - Phone the police. - And say what? 162 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,114 Just phone the police! 163 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,235 He saved my life. 164 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,392 Next time, try and get saved by someone who isn't 165 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,869 a human... fucking... compost... heap. 166 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,872 I'm proud to call that man friend. 167 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,471 THEY LAUGH 168 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,870 Might need some stock. I'm hitting the old folk's home. 169 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,599 Got something on. How many bags are left? 170 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,669 Five. 171 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,796 Isn't that enough? 172 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:03,873 Dunno. The oldies are mad for their weed. What are you doing? 173 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,313 Got a meet. Who with? 174 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:09,632 Someone from yesteryear. 25 yesteryears to be precise. 175 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:10,709 Who? 176 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,475 Other Paddy. 177 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:16,870 - Other Paddy? - Mmmm. 178 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,552 My Other Paddy? 179 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,995 (Yvonne) 'Are you gonna get stuck in? ' 180 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,435 Lt'll take all of you to batter that door down. 181 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,078 I don't know how he's in there. 182 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,913 - The little wanker! - No need. Tom's had special training. 183 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,195 At the negotiation workshop, they said, "Talk first 184 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:31,429 "and you won't have to act later." 185 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,511 Rubbish! Oi! 186 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,068 - You had your hair cut? - Have I fuck! 187 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,592 Every day they find a new way to rob us. 188 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,438 What are you lookin' at? 189 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,318 Sorry. Just when you're angry, your eyes... 190 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,755 Sorry. 191 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,398 Don't be weird, Stan. 192 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,436 Tom here. 193 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:58,555 Want to tell me your name? 194 00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,629 Fuck off. 195 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,554 I'm from Ireland. I... I've got six brothers and sisters and... 196 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,473 Ain't got time to bore him out. 197 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,152 (Tom) What're you doing? 198 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:10,559 Gas! 199 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:13,873 You're nicked. 200 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,633 You're costing me more than the hoodie. 201 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,359 Sorry about that. 202 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,273 Tear gas, Lillian. No-one can go in. 203 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,271 Oh, no, I like a good weep, me. 204 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,110 Search her when she leaves. 205 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,792 Why now? 206 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,110 He'll have heard the word about you inside. 207 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,428 You've moved up a division. 208 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,875 No. I'm famine potatoes to him. 209 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,589 Could be getting nostalgic for the things he's lost. 210 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,509 Doesn't matter if he is. 211 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,830 I know I plumped for the perfect Paddy. 212 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,876 The poorer Paddy. 213 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,350 Look at this palace. Every dream - fulfilled. 214 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,319 He's dodgy. You need me with you. 215 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,709 I can wrap him round this. You don't lose that. 216 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,438 Your man'll think I'm pussy-whipped. 217 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,999 - Oh, come on, Dad. 218 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,638 Meet him first. 219 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,790 Then I'll bump into you in the pub. 220 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,552 We're a team, you and me. 221 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,995 I'm getting off, too. 222 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,389 Picking up a car. Dad's bankrolled us. 223 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:16,473 New business, executive transport. 224 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,152 - Dad coughed up for that? 225 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,674 Lent. 226 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,229 You spanner. 227 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,073 Well, s'pose you can put me right, eh? 228 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,438 Tia Maria and coke. 229 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,671 And a pint for shitty drawers. 230 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,754 Couldn't stretch to a couple of E's, could you? 231 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,877 Me fucking ribs... 232 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:03,953 You look nice, Mimi. 233 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,555 Assisting Paddy with a bit of business. 234 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,470 Patrick Donal Maguire. 235 00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,028 It's good to see you, kid. 236 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,111 - Long time... - Aye, Paddy. How's yourself? 237 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,317 Fine. Sure, a five-year stretch is bullshit. 238 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,790 At our age we could do ten years without blinking. Am I right? 239 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,595 Don't shite yourself, I'm not asking you to get sent down for me. 240 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,875 Come away! I'm ripe for a wee bit of entertainment. 241 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,030 I'm guessing a drink would sit nicely. 242 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:51,669 Ah, well, the bar's fully stocked. But what I've really missed 243 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,955 is filthy women. 244 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,555 My balls are as heavy as avo-fucking-cados, Patrick! 245 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,198 Huh? 246 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,396 I know that look. 247 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,391 Have you laid one on for me? 248 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,710 Have you? Huh? 249 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:09,952 Patrick? Patrick, you have, haven't you, so? 250 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,632 Huh? 251 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,870 Come on away. 252 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,116 Two Guinness, son. 253 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,236 Oh, is this her? She would do me. 254 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:22,878 She fucking wouldn't. 255 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,596 Ah, Jesus! It's not that? A rhino in a joy-bag. 256 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:33,151 I don't want to get smothered by some great arse, for Christ's sake. 257 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,352 Mimi? 258 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,313 I'm so sorry. 259 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,631 It just came out all twisted. 260 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,314 I've been away a long... 261 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:50,190 Mimi, I said I'm sorry. 262 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,753 Don't be like that! 263 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,152 That's a terrible mistake I just made there, kid. 264 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,231 And I'm truly contrite. I am. 265 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:13,393 If I could take my words back, but... 266 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,552 it is a good time to remind you, 267 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,518 my people always know who I'm seeing. 268 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:20,874 You think of Mimi. 269 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,110 The kiddies. 270 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:27,079 You put your pride in your pocket, big man. 271 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:31,711 Very bad trouble is only a wee phone call away. 272 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,830 SOBS 273 00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:25,458 That... is executive transport? 274 00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:32,013 Two minutes in business and you've already lost your one customer. 275 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,898 - Congratulations! - What? 276 00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:38,017 I wanted something incon-fucking-spicuous. 277 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:43,297 Not a mobile poof's palace! 278 00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:46,372 Fucking joke. 279 00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:51,494 I think it's cute, if it's any consolation. 280 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:57,730 Jesus, Mickey. I was just trying to be nice. You're so desperate. 281 00:15:57,820 --> 00:16:00,937 - I've got a date! - Oh, I take it all back. 282 00:16:02,220 --> 00:16:05,974 Sorry. I would've come in on it with you, but Paddy's rates are... 283 00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:08,528 You'll go tits-up trying to pay him back. 284 00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:12,898 He's not a charity. He's got a... Where you off? 285 00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:13,935 School. 286 00:16:14,020 --> 00:16:16,853 - What for? - Checking out one of the teachers. 287 00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:19,249 Hot for cock. But who isn't? 288 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:23,611 Well, I was gonna offer you a lift, but you can walk. 289 00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,737 It's a bit pink for me anyway. I'm not that out. 290 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,491 It's "fuss-chia"! 291 00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:39,849 It was a judgement call and I may - may - have erred in that judgement. 292 00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:42,977 But you have to remember who he is, the little piece of scum! 293 00:16:43,060 --> 00:16:45,858 I wanted to saw his ugly fucking head off! But I couldn't. 294 00:16:57,660 --> 00:16:58,888 I'm sorry. 295 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:00,208 I've let you down. 296 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:03,576 - What did he want? - Dunno yet. 297 00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:07,938 We didn't get round to it. I've got to meet him again later. 298 00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:10,488 Gave you time off to come after me. Very good of him. 299 00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:12,536 What do you think when you look at me? 300 00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:13,769 What? 301 00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:14,975 What do you see? 302 00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:19,412 I see my fabulous wife. 303 00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:20,899 The mother of my children. 304 00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:24,211 The woman who I love and adore more than the very world. 305 00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,370 You don't notice I've kept me baby weight? 306 00:17:26,460 --> 00:17:28,849 I don't care about that. 307 00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:31,932 Prove it. Fuck me. Fuck me now. 308 00:17:32,020 --> 00:17:34,534 Christ, Mi. You know, this fucking hernia. I can't. 309 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:38,374 - You haven't slipped me one for months. - Since I've had this. 310 00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:40,530 It's printed in your eyes! You've stopped fancying me! 311 00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:43,054 - Never! - You're the same as him! 312 00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:44,892 Me and that twat! 313 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,459 Mimi! 314 00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:49,100 Every curve. Straight from the angels. 315 00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:51,933 I know what you think. What you see! 316 00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:56,252 I do not! Would never, ever think of you as fat! 317 00:17:56,340 --> 00:17:58,979 What did you fucking say? 318 00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:02,336 I don't think of you as fat. 319 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:08,290 I can't believe you used the fucking "F" word in my presence! 320 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,416 Bumble? Easy there! 321 00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,331 Calm down! 322 00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:14,376 Why don't you kill me? 323 00:18:14,460 --> 00:18:16,496 Lt'd be easier to take! 324 00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:21,535 You homeless bastard! 325 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,256 Oh, fuck! What's up? 326 00:18:36,340 --> 00:18:39,935 Nowt. I hope. So what d'you reckon, then? 327 00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:41,897 Not exactly Alan Titwank, are you? 328 00:18:41,980 --> 00:18:45,017 Not used it for cutting wood before, have I? Takes practice. 329 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:47,694 It's a saw, you toss. What else is it for? 330 00:18:47,780 --> 00:18:51,011 If I told you that, Norma, I'd have to waste your arse. 331 00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:53,489 I'm not scared of you. I'm not scared of... 332 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,969 A mouse! A mouse, a mouse! 333 00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:58,733 - A mouse! A mouse! A mouse! - You bastard! 334 00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:09,100 - Why've you got the best bed? - I own it. 335 00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:11,410 I'll have the bed I want. 336 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,377 What's wrong with one of the flats? 337 00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:14,415 You wouldn't want your old man 338 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:18,015 hanging around in one of them cruddy rat-holes, would you? 339 00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:20,209 I've got a date later. 340 00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,336 Well, I won't try and join in. 341 00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:25,492 I can't! Not with the old... 342 00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:31,248 It won't be long. Your ma's totally gone off her nut. 343 00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:33,296 It's a woman thing. Temporary. 344 00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,854 She'll keep a couple of days, won't she? 345 00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:38,134 Who? 346 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,812 The slut! Your date? 347 00:19:46,940 --> 00:19:48,419 Not that one! 348 00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:57,812 A present! 349 00:19:57,900 --> 00:19:59,492 That'll spur her into sense. 350 00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:02,174 A special one. 351 00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:04,569 - Start the Twat-mobile, Twat-man. - We need petrol. 352 00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:06,059 Well, get some! 353 00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:11,973 Oh, fucker! No, no, no, you should be careful with it. 354 00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:14,335 You know I am a veg. Stop it! 355 00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:15,330 Me snake isn't. 356 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:17,217 You've got a snake? 357 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,699 Python. 358 00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:22,489 Oh. Oh, I used to have an iguana. 359 00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:25,890 - Yeah? - Yeah. 360 00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:28,096 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 361 00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:30,614 Forgive us? 362 00:20:43,540 --> 00:20:46,657 I've never been right about food and all that shite. 363 00:20:46,740 --> 00:20:48,219 It doesn't matter to Dad. 364 00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:52,088 It does. Matters to everybody. Matters to me. 365 00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:54,774 You could lose weight if you really wanted to. 366 00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:58,898 Weren't any fat people came out of concentration camps. 367 00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:01,175 No, they all looked like you. 368 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,535 - Fuck off. - You fuck off. 369 00:21:08,260 --> 00:21:09,693 Sorry. 370 00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:11,930 Yeah. 371 00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:14,580 Sorry. 372 00:21:14,660 --> 00:21:17,220 - You think it's cos I've no willpower. - I never said that. 373 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:20,690 Food, looks, weight. Blight of my life. 374 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:24,216 If you're an alcoholic, you stop drinking. You can't stop eating! 375 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,689 It's always fucked me up! Always there! 376 00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:29,533 And how many times have you heard me mention it to you? 377 00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:31,736 How many times have you heard me moan 378 00:21:31,820 --> 00:21:34,812 about my arse or my looks? Never! You've never heard it! 379 00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:38,415 Because I was determined never to pass all that shit onto my daughter! 380 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,731 And I haven't. That's willpower! 381 00:21:45,420 --> 00:21:48,571 I knew it'd drive my Paddy away one day. 382 00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:50,616 It hasn't. You told him to go. 383 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,294 I don't need a man who wants me outta habit. 384 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,371 I need a man who fucking wants me. 385 00:21:57,420 --> 00:21:58,773 He's stopped. 386 00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,054 He can't... 387 00:22:01,140 --> 00:22:04,291 I'm starvin'. Is there any of them double choccy chips left? 388 00:22:04,380 --> 00:22:09,135 All I've got left of my marriage is little Leslie here. 389 00:22:10,260 --> 00:22:12,933 - S'not really serious, is it? - (Gol) 390 00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:14,419 All right. 391 00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:18,173 I'll help, Mum. 392 00:22:18,260 --> 00:22:22,048 You can lose weight. 393 00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:27,339 I don't want to stop drinking or eating 394 00:22:27,420 --> 00:22:29,536 or do any exercise. 395 00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:34,292 Do a diary. 396 00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:37,656 Write down everything you eat. We'll see where we are. 397 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:41,057 Starting the engine costs a tenner. 398 00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:43,096 I can't hire it out, cos I've got me dad's 399 00:22:43,180 --> 00:22:46,855 massive pants drying on the heater and his truss all over the back seat. 400 00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:50,649 Polishing the fucker's the only thing I can afford to do. Whoa. 401 00:22:50,740 --> 00:22:53,618 You knew it was gonna cost you. Why'd you buy it? 402 00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:57,773 Somewhere to bring lads back, not that I can do that now. 403 00:22:57,860 --> 00:23:01,819 And a business. I'm sick of being the family chimp. 404 00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:10,332 I'm not gonna meet his first payment. 405 00:23:10,420 --> 00:23:12,217 Job going in the pub? 406 00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:13,449 - No chance. - There must be. 407 00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:17,613 I'm not having you feeling me up every time there's a quiet patch. 408 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:20,214 - I wouldn't. - No, Mickey. No. 409 00:23:25,580 --> 00:23:26,535 How was sir? 410 00:23:26,620 --> 00:23:28,258 Keen as. 411 00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,251 You're joking? 412 00:23:30,340 --> 00:23:31,773 I'm seeing him tonight. 413 00:23:35,020 --> 00:23:36,169 It's a bit pink, in't it, mate?! 414 00:23:36,260 --> 00:23:37,898 It's not pink! 415 00:23:41,260 --> 00:23:43,979 All right, mate, how's it hangin'? 416 00:23:44,060 --> 00:23:46,449 Not good. Not good. 417 00:23:46,540 --> 00:23:49,134 She's holding this one against me. Really is. 418 00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:51,256 And I don't know how to live without her. 419 00:23:51,340 --> 00:23:53,774 Well, you could take my advice. 420 00:23:53,860 --> 00:23:56,772 Drink through it. 421 00:23:56,860 --> 00:23:59,738 You gettin' 'em in? 422 00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:02,050 Usual, Frank? 423 00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:04,290 Get us a chaser too. 424 00:24:04,380 --> 00:24:06,291 Good to see you. 425 00:24:07,620 --> 00:24:09,531 Cold Guinness, angel. 426 00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:13,295 So, let's chat and sort this business. 427 00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:25,213 You've splashed out on that, haven't you? Good job you're minted. 428 00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:27,575 I am compared to someone who's got fuck-all. 429 00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:33,216 Well, I know you're all right, cos sure you've been dealing off 430 00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:36,975 my best patches while I've been rotting away inside. 431 00:24:37,060 --> 00:24:40,257 Only an idiot could lose money on them ones. 432 00:24:40,340 --> 00:24:43,457 And you're not an idiot, are you, Paddy? 433 00:24:45,620 --> 00:24:47,929 Are you an idiot? 434 00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:53,651 I'm only joking you. If I wanted to post some lead up your arse, 435 00:24:53,740 --> 00:24:56,174 you'd be snuggling your colon by now. 436 00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:03,737 What, fuck's sake! What? 437 00:25:03,820 --> 00:25:05,253 It's not still Mimi, is it? 438 00:25:05,340 --> 00:25:06,295 Sure, that's all sorted out! 439 00:25:07,900 --> 00:25:12,371 Let's not fall out over a few pounds, eh? 440 00:25:13,540 --> 00:25:17,419 Specially not the ones on your... your old lady's arse. 441 00:25:18,380 --> 00:25:20,371 Fucking little fuck! 442 00:25:20,460 --> 00:25:24,419 Yeah, that's fucking smart, that. Very fucking intelligent, 443 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:27,298 you small-time fuck. 444 00:25:27,380 --> 00:25:31,259 When you want to die? When! Go home or when I don't go home? 445 00:25:31,340 --> 00:25:33,535 Your choice. 446 00:25:35,180 --> 00:25:36,408 Oh, this your diary? 447 00:25:38,140 --> 00:25:40,529 That's all right. Biscuits? 448 00:25:44,140 --> 00:25:45,619 We need a professional. 449 00:25:45,700 --> 00:25:50,012 No. I've tried everything. I'm beyond help. 450 00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:51,692 Hypnosis. 451 00:25:51,780 --> 00:25:54,499 It's not working. It's not. 452 00:25:54,580 --> 00:25:57,174 Kept waking up with marshmallows in me hair. 453 00:25:57,260 --> 00:26:00,650 Turned me into an unconscious sleep-eater. Tried exercise. 454 00:26:00,740 --> 00:26:03,049 ...ln time 455 00:26:03,140 --> 00:26:07,258 Only takes a moment to feel all right 456 00:26:07,340 --> 00:26:10,616 Get fresh at the weekend... 457 00:26:10,700 --> 00:26:13,168 Gave me a raging appetite. I put weight on. 458 00:26:13,260 --> 00:26:17,936 Only time I lost weight was in prison. Nothing else works. 459 00:26:18,020 --> 00:26:19,294 I can help. 460 00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:21,336 No, you can't. 461 00:26:21,420 --> 00:26:23,854 I'll never be thin. 462 00:26:23,940 --> 00:26:27,819 Never be... desirable again. 463 00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:29,652 Got to face what I am. 464 00:26:29,740 --> 00:26:32,379 I'm a bulimic who can't stand vomit. 465 00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:33,973 We can try. 466 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:36,449 No, Mandy, love. 467 00:26:36,540 --> 00:26:38,337 I am fat. 468 00:26:38,420 --> 00:26:40,888 I'm a fat fuck. 469 00:26:40,980 --> 00:26:44,529 I'm a fucking fat fucker. 470 00:26:47,140 --> 00:26:48,858 Where did these come from? 471 00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:51,215 Mandy's mum give 'em us. 472 00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:53,734 (Carl) You trying to show us up? 473 00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:54,775 Me? 474 00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:57,499 Bezz saw you at school. Sniffing round Scotty. 475 00:26:57,580 --> 00:26:59,411 He didn't see that. We were having a goss. 476 00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:00,774 I know what you were doing. 477 00:27:00,860 --> 00:27:02,452 I thought you were coo-ell with the gay thing? 478 00:27:02,540 --> 00:27:05,179 That's got nothing to do with this. It's school, Ian. I get taught by him. 479 00:27:05,260 --> 00:27:09,697 He were all over us. "Very good, Carl. Top of the class." 480 00:27:09,780 --> 00:27:11,418 I looked a right twat in front of Sarah. 481 00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:14,298 - Well, you tipped me off. - He's my teacher! 482 00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:16,940 So what? I'll see who I like. 483 00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:18,055 Debbie, love. 484 00:27:18,140 --> 00:27:20,176 Can I squeeze these into your cupboard? 485 00:27:20,260 --> 00:27:23,252 There's absolutely no space in that teensy room of ours. 486 00:27:23,340 --> 00:27:24,489 (Debbie) What? 487 00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:30,013 Leslie? Leslie? 488 00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:32,534 Leslie? Come to Mummy. 489 00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:34,975 I can't find her anywhere. 490 00:27:35,060 --> 00:27:37,051 Leslie. A he. 491 00:27:37,140 --> 00:27:40,450 Well, a leg of lamb's missing off the side as well. 492 00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:41,734 You didn't snaffle it, did you? 493 00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:43,492 You cheeky bastard! 494 00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:46,094 Leslie'll have had it. 495 00:27:46,180 --> 00:27:48,011 He'll be back when he's hungry. 496 00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,489 Don't throw me out. Don't! 497 00:27:50,580 --> 00:27:54,334 I've got something for you. Come with me. Come on. 498 00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:55,853 Mimi! 499 00:28:02,780 --> 00:28:05,499 - Oh! 500 00:28:05,580 --> 00:28:08,140 Oh! Nice one, Norma. 501 00:28:11,620 --> 00:28:13,497 Out again. 502 00:28:16,420 --> 00:28:19,776 Here you are. Come on. 503 00:28:19,860 --> 00:28:21,293 Din-dins, Butch! 504 00:28:25,260 --> 00:28:26,773 He won't take it. 505 00:28:26,860 --> 00:28:30,216 - Maybes he's not hungry? - He should be. Here, lift the bed up. 506 00:28:32,660 --> 00:28:34,730 Look at that. 507 00:28:34,820 --> 00:28:38,096 - It looks like he's... - What? 508 00:28:39,620 --> 00:28:40,769 It's the dog. 509 00:28:40,860 --> 00:28:44,170 It's me mum's dog. He's had it... 510 00:28:44,260 --> 00:28:46,330 Oh... 511 00:28:46,420 --> 00:28:50,208 Oh, don't go off on one. You don't know for sure. 512 00:28:54,940 --> 00:28:56,658 OK. Now you know for sure. 513 00:28:56,740 --> 00:28:59,095 I'm toast! I'm dead! 514 00:28:59,180 --> 00:29:02,331 I'm totally fucking dead! 515 00:29:19,340 --> 00:29:21,570 That's how much I love you. 516 00:29:21,660 --> 00:29:25,209 - What've you done? - He's for you. 517 00:29:25,300 --> 00:29:28,531 What do you want me to do with your gift? 518 00:29:28,620 --> 00:29:32,499 Are you losing your fucking mind as well as your touch? 519 00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:35,174 It's not about him. 520 00:29:35,260 --> 00:29:37,376 It's about you and me. It's about me. 521 00:29:39,580 --> 00:29:42,174 I can't believe you'd do something like that. 522 00:29:43,820 --> 00:29:45,731 What've you done, Paddy? 523 00:29:59,980 --> 00:30:01,936 Piss flaps! 524 00:30:02,020 --> 00:30:03,533 We are neck-high. 525 00:30:03,620 --> 00:30:05,099 We? Where's the "we" come from? 526 00:30:05,180 --> 00:30:07,410 It's nowt to do with me. 527 00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:09,218 I did help with your fence. 528 00:30:09,300 --> 00:30:10,972 Howay then! 529 00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:12,573 Okey-dokey, Einstein. 530 00:30:12,660 --> 00:30:14,093 Plan? 531 00:30:19,740 --> 00:30:21,856 Get another dog. Hope she doesn't notice. 532 00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:24,738 I mean, she's had it no time. They all look the same. 533 00:30:24,820 --> 00:30:28,608 - Do they? - Aye. They all look like Mimi. 534 00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:31,419 You should be more sympathetic. She's got body issues. 535 00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:34,298 Oh, who hasn't? She should get over herself. 536 00:30:34,380 --> 00:30:36,655 GIBBERS 537 00:30:36,740 --> 00:30:39,174 Pathetic. You're as bad as mum. 538 00:30:39,260 --> 00:30:41,649 I didn't mean that. 539 00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:44,652 What's going on, baby-cakes? 540 00:30:44,740 --> 00:30:47,573 It's the money you owe Dad. 541 00:30:47,660 --> 00:30:49,252 I can't say. 542 00:30:49,340 --> 00:30:51,092 How much interest is he charging? 543 00:30:51,180 --> 00:30:52,932 Let go... 544 00:30:53,020 --> 00:30:54,169 I can't tell. Argh! 545 00:30:55,100 --> 00:30:57,011 The usual rate! 546 00:30:58,660 --> 00:31:00,139 I can't afford it. 547 00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:04,856 He's gonna break me legs... 548 00:31:06,460 --> 00:31:07,893 ...again. 549 00:31:13,420 --> 00:31:14,853 Two more 'ere, Karen. 550 00:31:20,940 --> 00:31:23,408 Oh, still got the girl trouble? 551 00:31:25,380 --> 00:31:26,893 I'm lost. 552 00:31:28,860 --> 00:31:31,977 Without her, I'm lost. 553 00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:35,894 I've done something stupid and there's no way out. 554 00:31:35,980 --> 00:31:38,619 Yeah, there's plenty more fish in the sea, you know, 555 00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:41,498 get straight back on the horse... All that jon-bobbins. 556 00:31:41,580 --> 00:31:44,890 You know, Frank, I've been thinking. 557 00:31:44,980 --> 00:31:48,017 What's worse than being owed something? 558 00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:52,371 - House fire? Cluster bomb? - Owing someone. 559 00:31:52,460 --> 00:31:54,928 See, I owe you 560 00:31:55,020 --> 00:31:58,330 and it's beginning to gnaw at me. Understand? 561 00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:01,259 Yeah. 562 00:32:01,340 --> 00:32:03,456 So I want to pay you in full. 563 00:32:03,540 --> 00:32:05,690 Discharge my debt. Back to quits. 564 00:32:05,780 --> 00:32:09,136 Would that be acceptable? If I asked nicely? 565 00:32:11,060 --> 00:32:14,177 Uh... Yeah, s'pose so. 566 00:32:14,260 --> 00:32:16,694 Good. 567 00:32:23,020 --> 00:32:25,329 Two mind. 568 00:32:25,420 --> 00:32:26,853 Not one. 569 00:32:32,220 --> 00:32:34,495 Couldn't lend us a score, could you? I'm down to bare bones... 570 00:32:34,580 --> 00:32:35,569 Shh! 571 00:32:43,780 --> 00:32:46,340 How're we gonna dig our way outta this? 572 00:32:48,060 --> 00:32:50,016 Easy. Just... 573 00:32:50,100 --> 00:32:53,251 He can't let you go. 574 00:32:53,340 --> 00:32:57,128 And he can't kill me or keep me here. 575 00:32:57,220 --> 00:33:01,418 No word of a lie, my people do know where I've gone. 576 00:33:03,980 --> 00:33:07,768 I am truly sorry for what I said... 577 00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:11,978 ...but if I don't turn up soon, then there's going to be some... 578 00:33:12,060 --> 00:33:14,813 sick violence. 579 00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:16,094 Really sick. 580 00:33:18,620 --> 00:33:22,579 Let me go, kid. 581 00:33:23,820 --> 00:33:26,573 Do it now and there'll be no comeback. 582 00:33:26,660 --> 00:33:30,209 No grudges, no hard feelings. Nothing. 583 00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:31,733 Guarantee? 584 00:33:31,820 --> 00:33:33,253 My word. 585 00:33:35,980 --> 00:33:36,935 That it? 586 00:33:39,780 --> 00:33:41,611 After what we had?! 587 00:33:44,740 --> 00:33:46,890 You know you can trust me. 588 00:33:49,580 --> 00:33:53,732 I've only ever had the highest regard for you. 589 00:33:56,180 --> 00:33:59,809 You were a desert island fuck for me. 590 00:34:01,860 --> 00:34:05,011 You were nearly my Paddy. 591 00:34:05,100 --> 00:34:09,537 Could've been you sat in front of the telly, scratching your balls 592 00:34:09,620 --> 00:34:11,895 and hating me for going to fat. 593 00:34:11,980 --> 00:34:14,448 It would not be like that. 594 00:34:16,380 --> 00:34:18,177 You'd love the inner me? 595 00:34:18,260 --> 00:34:19,978 Of course. 596 00:34:21,780 --> 00:34:24,055 Remember me? 597 00:34:25,700 --> 00:34:28,692 You know I am a man of honour. 598 00:34:28,780 --> 00:34:30,213 Don't you? 599 00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:35,690 Hardly given you a moment's thought, 600 00:34:35,780 --> 00:34:37,816 but I do remember you. 601 00:34:39,820 --> 00:34:42,254 I remember why I dumped you an' all. 602 00:34:42,340 --> 00:34:44,296 You're a lying arsehole. 603 00:34:44,380 --> 00:34:47,611 Ah, Mimi, 604 00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:51,010 you're a fat stupid bitch, so you are. 605 00:34:51,100 --> 00:34:54,251 That was your last chance to save your limp-dicked Paddy. 606 00:34:54,340 --> 00:34:58,049 Won't be getting a hard-on with his blood all over the fucking pavement! 607 00:34:58,140 --> 00:34:59,209 MUFFLED CRIES 608 00:35:03,060 --> 00:35:07,690 MUFFLED CRIES 609 00:35:07,780 --> 00:35:09,577 (Muffled) See you later. 610 00:35:14,900 --> 00:35:15,855 THUD! 611 00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:19,375 What're you doing? 612 00:35:23,100 --> 00:35:26,888 - Falling over. - What time is it? 613 00:35:26,980 --> 00:35:30,416 Where've you been? 614 00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:32,616 You've seen him, haven't you? 615 00:35:34,180 --> 00:35:35,169 None of yours. 616 00:35:35,260 --> 00:35:38,616 I asked you not to. You've gone and shagged him, haven't you? 617 00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:39,928 You didn't ask me anything. 618 00:35:40,020 --> 00:35:42,170 You're a selfish wanker. 619 00:35:42,260 --> 00:35:43,978 Oh, cock off, pig tits. 620 00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:45,937 - What're you talking about? - (Both) Put that out! 621 00:35:46,020 --> 00:35:50,093 What've I told you? No more fires! 622 00:35:51,860 --> 00:35:53,578 Carl? 623 00:35:56,860 --> 00:35:58,293 BARKING 624 00:35:58,380 --> 00:36:00,371 It's exactly the same. 625 00:36:00,460 --> 00:36:02,690 Apart from personality. The vicious little twat. 626 00:36:02,780 --> 00:36:05,738 (Norma) Shall we leave it in the yard for her to find? 627 00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:10,291 Yeah. Just got to put this on, pierce its ear and we're done. 628 00:36:10,380 --> 00:36:11,495 Pierce its ear? 629 00:36:11,580 --> 00:36:13,013 Yeah! She put an earring in. 630 00:36:15,060 --> 00:36:17,290 Which is gay side? 631 00:36:17,380 --> 00:36:18,335 Gay side? 632 00:36:18,420 --> 00:36:21,014 Yeah, she won't want a gay dog, will she? 633 00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:23,330 What's gayer than a fucking air dog? 634 00:36:24,860 --> 00:36:26,134 HE SCREAMS 635 00:36:26,220 --> 00:36:27,812 Perfect. 636 00:36:30,380 --> 00:36:31,972 ...I like you too. 637 00:36:32,060 --> 00:36:34,893 - Do you want a brew? - Stop nosing about, Debs. 638 00:36:34,980 --> 00:36:36,857 I'm not. I'm making one. 639 00:36:36,940 --> 00:36:38,134 I'm all right, ta. 640 00:36:38,220 --> 00:36:39,778 Mr Scott? 641 00:36:39,860 --> 00:36:42,215 You all right, sir? 642 00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:44,894 Didn't know you two were a couple. 643 00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:46,254 What're you doing? 644 00:36:46,340 --> 00:36:47,739 You left this. 645 00:36:47,820 --> 00:36:48,855 It's not mine. 646 00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:50,453 Isn't it? 647 00:36:50,540 --> 00:36:52,371 Oh, no. 648 00:36:52,460 --> 00:36:53,734 Now it looks like I've come up with 649 00:36:53,820 --> 00:36:55,651 an obviously transparent excuse just to see you, doesn't it? 650 00:36:56,780 --> 00:36:58,771 I wouldn't leave your car out there. 651 00:36:58,860 --> 00:37:01,658 (Mr Scott) Half a mo'. I've got your homework. 652 00:37:02,940 --> 00:37:06,933 That... was relatively inventive, Carl. 653 00:37:07,020 --> 00:37:10,171 And you should try copying Carl, Sarah. 654 00:37:10,260 --> 00:37:12,455 Instead of Dave Martin's hopeless effort, 655 00:37:12,540 --> 00:37:15,691 which is the highway to a C minus. 656 00:37:15,780 --> 00:37:16,974 I'd better be going. 657 00:37:17,060 --> 00:37:18,778 - What now? - Yeah. 658 00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:21,853 - I'll call you. - Whatever. 659 00:37:23,620 --> 00:37:25,611 Oh, piss! 660 00:37:26,740 --> 00:37:28,332 You got the right sex, didn't you? 661 00:37:28,420 --> 00:37:29,853 It was a dog, not a bitch? 662 00:37:33,220 --> 00:37:35,290 Leslie! 663 00:37:35,380 --> 00:37:36,859 Look what I found. 664 00:37:39,180 --> 00:37:41,899 Oh, hello, gorgeous. 665 00:37:41,980 --> 00:37:43,015 Where's his tattoo? 666 00:37:45,620 --> 00:37:49,659 Oh, for fuck's sake. How we supposed to fucking know that? 667 00:37:49,740 --> 00:37:51,014 What was it? 668 00:37:53,060 --> 00:37:54,254 Who did it? 669 00:37:54,340 --> 00:37:55,489 Inky Bob. 670 00:37:55,580 --> 00:37:56,615 Inky Bob? 671 00:37:56,700 --> 00:37:58,338 You know, the one with the... 672 00:37:59,540 --> 00:38:02,737 Well, that explains it. Doesn't use proper ink. 673 00:38:02,820 --> 00:38:04,412 Look at that. 674 00:38:04,500 --> 00:38:05,728 There's nowt there. 675 00:38:05,820 --> 00:38:08,380 Exactly. Guess who did mine? 676 00:38:08,460 --> 00:38:10,815 Inky fucking Bob. 677 00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:15,894 That fucking... That fucking Inky Bob! Please tell me you didn't go to see him! 678 00:38:15,980 --> 00:38:18,778 Totally faded. Fraud! 679 00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:22,531 (Mimi) Is everyone a bastard? 680 00:38:22,620 --> 00:38:24,372 DOOR SLAMS 681 00:38:24,460 --> 00:38:26,132 (Patrick) You're wasting your time. 682 00:38:26,220 --> 00:38:28,370 Bank won't give him the steam off its piss. 683 00:38:28,460 --> 00:38:30,212 Never mind a three grand loan. 684 00:38:30,300 --> 00:38:31,813 Will if I'm with him. 685 00:38:31,900 --> 00:38:33,492 Making sure he gives his real name. 686 00:38:33,580 --> 00:38:36,856 Are we setting off? Or can we kill the engine? 687 00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:38,532 Petrol and that... 688 00:38:38,620 --> 00:38:39,814 Are we going anywhere? 689 00:38:39,900 --> 00:38:43,529 I'm not helping you with mum if you don't do this for Mickey. 690 00:38:46,820 --> 00:38:50,017 Turn the engine off. Come back here. 691 00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:52,739 You really push it with this heir apparent bollocks. 692 00:38:55,180 --> 00:38:58,092 DOOR HANDLE CLUNKS 693 00:38:58,180 --> 00:39:00,375 What sort of a fucking car?! 694 00:39:06,580 --> 00:39:10,289 Well, done, setting up the business, son. I'm proud of you. 695 00:39:10,380 --> 00:39:13,178 I'm cancelling the loan. 696 00:39:13,260 --> 00:39:14,454 It's a gift. 697 00:39:18,660 --> 00:39:20,093 Oh, Dad. 698 00:39:22,580 --> 00:39:27,290 I'll speak to her. It's all in her head. We hate you being apart. 699 00:39:27,380 --> 00:39:28,608 Hate you being in here, too. 700 00:39:29,620 --> 00:39:32,293 But that's not the main reason. 701 00:39:35,420 --> 00:39:37,695 Is it Dad's fault you got bigger? 702 00:39:37,780 --> 00:39:38,849 Has he been cramming the pies in? 703 00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:41,659 No. He's never even mentioned your weight. 704 00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:43,890 You've chucked him out cos some other bloke said it. 705 00:39:43,980 --> 00:39:47,097 All he wants is to be back with you. I've seen him. 706 00:39:47,180 --> 00:39:48,659 He may as well have his arms off. 707 00:39:48,740 --> 00:39:50,890 He's better off without me. 708 00:39:50,980 --> 00:39:53,130 Oh, don't whine. 709 00:39:53,220 --> 00:39:58,453 I live with this every day. This layer of lard has ruined my life. 710 00:39:58,540 --> 00:40:01,896 And now it's ruining Paddy's, too. He's in a mess cos of me... 711 00:40:01,980 --> 00:40:04,289 and my weight. 712 00:40:04,380 --> 00:40:07,417 - I can fix it. - Gonna have him back? 713 00:40:08,780 --> 00:40:10,896 I'm going to fix it. 714 00:40:19,020 --> 00:40:21,090 What're you doing? 715 00:40:21,180 --> 00:40:22,818 Looking for something. 716 00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:25,812 For Leslie to chew. 717 00:40:25,900 --> 00:40:27,777 I've things I need to do. I might be going away. 718 00:40:27,860 --> 00:40:30,420 I've messed up, but I've found a way out for your dad. 719 00:40:30,500 --> 00:40:34,049 For everybody for the best. 720 00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:36,415 Look after him. For me. 721 00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:38,456 He was your dad's last present. 722 00:40:38,540 --> 00:40:41,054 Mum? Mum, where're you going? 723 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,630 Dad, Dad! You got to go find Mum. 724 00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:54,995 - Why? - She's just acting weird. 725 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,833 - The gun's gone missing. - Which gun? 726 00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:02,311 The one in t'wardrobe. You don't think she's gonna? 727 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,078 She'd never do that. 728 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,158 Shit! 729 00:41:09,240 --> 00:41:10,992 It's not that bad. 730 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:15,119 He's just been chucked. He's gonna get the piss ripped out of him. 731 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,794 You've been an arsehole, Ian. It is that bad. 732 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,632 You told me someone fancied me. 733 00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:25,716 I followed it up. Hey, if I told you, I don't know, Gaby Patterson fancied you, 734 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:27,279 you'd be straight round. 735 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,511 She's not a fucking teacher! It's not cos you're gay, Ian, 736 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:32,955 it's cos it's weird. It'd be the same if Debbie went out with him. 737 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,315 No. That'd be worse. 738 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,470 Debbie, I've just been in your room 739 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,949 and I couldn't help but noticing your bed. 740 00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:42,998 You think you're getting my room? Just try it. 741 00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,469 Cos your first night will be your last! 742 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,199 I'll slit your throat! You're never sleeping in my room! 743 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:53,229 Never! Cos it's my room! And you can't have it! 744 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,914 I couldn't help noticing your bed was broken. 745 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,719 So I had thought we could get you a new one out the catalogue. 746 00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:03,316 - I've already ordered you new curtains. - So you don't want my room? 747 00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:05,197 No. 748 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:09,751 Oh, OK, then, I'll have a new bed. Ta. 749 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,470 There is a way out of it. 750 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,630 And it solves all our problems. 751 00:42:29,720 --> 00:42:32,871 Fat bitch shoots you. 752 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,518 I hold me hands up. 753 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:39,230 A crime of passion. You screwed me over years back 754 00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,197 and I've never got over it. 755 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,999 Paddy isn't to blame, 756 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:46,230 he gets to move on, 757 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,517 without the hindrance of a wife he no longer wants. 758 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:53,195 Not many wives would do that for their husbands. 759 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,874 Always said I was one in a million, didn't I? 760 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,871 Put that down! 761 00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,872 Put... that... down! 762 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,036 You trying to get me off the hook, are you? 763 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:12,070 Shoot him and I'm an accessory. We both go down. What's the plan now? 764 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,597 CRIES 765 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,716 How did this happen? 766 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,714 It's totally fucking obvious I love you. 767 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:29,191 - I don't want to be just friends. - Neither do I. 768 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,748 You're not seeing me! 769 00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:36,550 Look at me! How could you fancy me?! 770 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,234 So you're carrying a bit of weight. 771 00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:41,072 Fuck, bollocks to that. 772 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,594 I don't care! 773 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,553 I do fancy you. 774 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,513 Fuck this. 775 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,114 Look what he's done to us. He's got to choke. 776 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:02,990 - No. They'll kill you. I'll do it. - And what will I do without you, huh? 777 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:09,831 - You're my foundation. - I'm doing it for you. 778 00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:11,512 I'm doing it for you. 779 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,592 MUMBLES 780 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:21,069 - Don't let this madness ruin everything. - I'm sorry. 781 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:24,197 Christ, Mi-mo, me too. 782 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,271 Come home. 783 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,120 That the gun from the wardrobe? 784 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,270 - Yeah. - It's hot. 785 00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:02,354 Pull the trigger and we're all going home. 786 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:06,797 - You're framing me? - Our protection. 787 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,314 We're in shite if we kill you and shite if we don't. 788 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:19,875 Security guard had his ear whacked off with that. Recent, too. 789 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,155 After you got out. 790 00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:25,596 They'd be made up to find your prints on it. 791 00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,794 Should be good for ten with your record. Not that you'd blink. 792 00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:34,953 By the way, what did you want to see me about? 793 00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,273 I'm retiring. 794 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,635 Off to Cyprus. 795 00:45:40,720 --> 00:45:45,077 Wanted to sell you one of my patches to go with the ones you've stole. 796 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,714 Think I'll ask somebody else. 797 00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:57,908 All done. 798 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,355 And no-one got hurt. 799 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,673 Home. 800 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,595 I'm sorry. 801 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:21,910 That were totally fucking... 802 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,070 I'm sorry! 803 00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:32,996 I didn't like being told what to do by you. 804 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,755 I'm a dickhead. Will that do? 805 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:39,512 Don't go overboard. 806 00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:42,078 Am I forgiven? 807 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,229 You did tip me off about Gaby Patterson. 808 00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,117 How funny! 809 00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,158 What? 810 00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:49,593 You told me she fancied me. 811 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,159 No. I used her as an example. 812 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:53,753 No way! 813 00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:56,835 She let me feel her tits. 814 00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,388 - Nah! - Straight off. 815 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,755 - So did Mr Scott. - Did he?! 816 00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:06,991 - Think she'll wank me off next week. - Mr Scott would definitely wank me off. 817 00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,636 You'd better get it out. He's here now. 818 00:47:11,720 --> 00:47:13,438 Quick. Hide! 819 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:16,908 I thought you liked him. 820 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:21,357 What? Course not. He's a teacher! And he's hairier than a gibbon. 821 00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:23,431 (Carl) A gibbon! 822 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:33,637 The first time 823 00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:38,589 Ever I saw your face 824 00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:41,877 I thought the sun 825 00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:46,715 Rose in my eyes. 826 00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,830 Don't. 827 00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,594 Just do me. 828 00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:56,796 Properly. 829 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:02,276 Lead the way! 830 00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:04,430 THEY LAUGH 831 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:14,035 (Frank) 'I'll tell you what's really fucking heroic. 832 00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,157 'Waking up in the morning, putting one foot in front of the other, 833 00:48:17,240 --> 00:48:22,030 'looking at the wife and kids and not topping yourself.' 834 00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:25,954 Oh, my fucking hernia! 835 00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,269 Yeah! You're the first person I've had back here. 836 00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:13,353 In fact, I've been a bit short recently. I'm desperate for a shag. 837 00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:15,192 Yeah? 838 00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:22,718 Well, why don't we make something of it, then? 839 00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,354 Haven't you got homework to mark? 840 00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:33,000 School day tomorrow, innit? 841 00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,190 Long holidays to plan? 842 00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,110 Go on, get it down you! 843 00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:46,916 WHOOPING 844 00:49:47,305 --> 00:49:53,546 www.proanabolicstore.com Everything for your anabolic plan! 60335

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