All language subtitles for Remo.Williams.The.Adventure.Begins.1985

(Horn blasts)

(Marv Albert on radio) 'There's a steal!
Knicks try to call for time.

'Mike Cooper fires down court to Kareem.

'He's ahead of the field, lays it in.
Lakers by seven.

'This is Marv Albert
from the Forum in LA.

'The Knicks in big trouble
as they move to the front court.

'Cummings takes the one bounce,
a flip for King. It's batted away!

'Magic Johnson on the steal.
He goes baseline.

'He's trapped,
throws back out to Worthy,

'Worthy with a head fake.
Now the jumper. It is good!

'Ten seconds left.
Lakers are burying the Knicks.

'The Knicks have come back
from the dead before but not tonight... '

(♪ Switches channel to "Janet"
by The Commodores)

(Woman on police radio)
'2L-16, Tac2.

'Come in, 2L-16.

'Respond, 2L-16.

'Sgt Larry says you owe him 50 bucks
on tonight's game,

'and he'd be happy to take your money
on the Knicks any time.'

Come on! Give it to him!

Where is it? Come on!

It's mine and I want it now.

Look at this. Is he crying?

(Makin) Freeze!

Hands out of your pockets,
away from your body.

Suck wall!

Get your feet back and spread 'em!

All right, wider. I said wider!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
picking on a guy half your size.

- Nice shot, kid.
- Good shot, Joey.

Come on, man.

Hit him!

(Chain rattling)

(Stifled scream)

Don't move.

Don't even breathe.

(Indistinct voice over police radio)

(Chief) We have come
to mourn and honour

not only the passing of a friend
but of a fine police officer,

an officer who was an example to us all.

Samuel Edward Makin died as he lived,
defending the American way.

That is why I feel more pride than sorrow,

for Samuel Makin made
the ultimate sacrifice.

He did so willingly
and no man can hope to do more.

His body may be returned to the earth,

but his spirit will live forever.

We, your fellow officers,
salute you, Sam.

Your duty done,
may you rest in peace.

(Officer) Ready!

- Aim! Fire!
- (Shots fired)

(He gasps)

I was shaving you.

- Where am I?
- Don't worry. Everything will be fine.

That's not me.
What the hell have you done to me?

We did some work on you.
Just your face.

- Thank you, nurse.
- You better have a good reason.

We did.

- You were ugly.
- Who's "we"?

You've been recruited
by an organisation that doesn't exist.

Sam Makin is dead. Some nasty man
shoved him into the East River.

I'm a pretty healthy corpse.

The operative word is "corpse".

You've got a new face,
new fingerprints, even a new name.

Williams. Remo Williams.

A lot of thought went into it.

We needed someone.
You were the best we could find.

Decorated cop, ex-Marine,
no family, no commitments.

If I'm the best you can find,
you're in deep shit.

Who the hell are you?
FBI, CIA, Salvation Army?

Who we are, are the people
who've got you by the balls, Remo.

Besides, we need you.

Our cops are corrupt, our judges bought,
our politicians up for sale.

Everywhere you look,
slime is on the loose.

You'll be the Eleventh Commandment:
"Thou shalt not get away with it."

You're the guy that set me up
at that warehouse, ain't you?

Nice job.

The name's MacCleary.
We'll get to know each other.

Enjoy the fruit... Remo.

Remo? Jesus!

(♪ Remo's Theme:
"What If" by Tommy Shaw)

There you go, Mr Mossler. You're gonna
be as snug as a little old bug in a rug.

(Tyres screeching)

Hey, where the hell you going
with my ambulance?

♪ There's a message I'm receiving
And it's coming in clear

♪ But it's not the one
that I need to hear... ♪

Turn left at the next intersection...
Remo.

♪ You better take another look
Cos I'm halfway gone

♪ And I'm hardly here

♪ What if, what if... ♪

Don't get any cute ideas, Remo.

National Bank?

Are you opening an account for me?

Let's go.

(Remo) What do these things do?
Keep track of your wardrobe?

I thought they could
make those things small.

These are the small ones.

(Doorbell buzzes)

- Come in, Mr...
- (MacCleary) Williams. Remo Williams.

Good evening, Mr Williams.

I'm Harold Smith. I'm the head of
the organisation that just recruited you.

Dumping me in the river
and reshuffling my face is recruitment?

Yeah. It works. Sit down.

Come on, my boy.
I know your ribs are hurting.

Sit down and make yourself comfortable.
I'll tell you about the way we work.

I've seen how you work.

You run black-bag operations,
kidnap people,

beat the shit outta them
and no one holds you accountable.

- Oh, we're accountable, Mr Williams.
- Let me guess. To the president.

Yep. And five of 'em before him.
I've lost track. I don't even vote any more.

Sorry to disappoint you.
I'm voting with my feet.

Now you wanna sit down?

(Clock strikes four)

I'm only going to say this once.

This is a wonderful country but our legal
system doesn't work the way it should.

I'm talking about people who roam
the halls of power with impunity,

who corrupt and subvert the principles
our constitution exists to uphold.

He already gave me
the Gettysburg Address.

Has he? Here's another one.

"Guard, protect and cherish your land,

"for there is no afterlife for a place
that started out as heaven."

Charles M. Russell, Montana, 1926.

1926?
That's ancient history, Dad.

- Computer said you were a smart ass.
- Heard of computer error?

Not this one.

Take a look at that innocent little box,
my boy.

It's hooked to all those computers
you saw downstairs.

Every scrap of processed information
in the United States comes through here.

If it's out there, I can find it.
Helps us keep track of the bad guys.

I can find out the temperature of your ass
in that chair if I really want to know.

But it won't do everything.

That's why we've got you. You're gonna
help remove some of the filth in there.

I like that. That's nice.

It's a whole lot nicer than kill, destroy
or terminate with extreme prejudice.

- That's what you're really talking about.
- He's got it, Mr Smith.

That's exactly what we're talking about.

Well, suppose I say no.

Then you're a dead son of a bitch.

And we already got a coffin.

How big is this organisation?

Just the three of us.

Mac here will get you cleaned up
and briefed.

You start work Monday night,
Mr Williams.

Here we are.

Nice pad, huh, Remo?

First hit?

No big deal. You'll get used to it.

Nothing like throwing in a man
at the deep end.

What's this guy done
that's so special?

Come on, Remo. We run on
a need-to-know basis. You know that.

Don't take any chances.
This guy's a killer.

Remember.
In, out, like a duck mating.

- Where are you gonna be?
- Right behind you.

(Scraping)

Hey, how do you open this?

Speakee English?

Does a nightingale sing?

Yeah, well...
How do you get outta here?

The same way you came in.

No good. There's a guy outside
who wants me to knock off your boss.

I am here alone.

There is no one upstairs.

Oh, look. Let's not make any trouble
for each other.

All I want to do is get outta here.

It is too late for that.

Hold it! I'll kill you if I have to.

I'll show you chopsocky,
you sawed-off little runt.

Well, Chiun? What do you think?

He's very slow.

His reflexes are pitiful,
poorly co-ordinated.

He's in wretched physical condition,

impetuous,

and clumsy.

He move like a baboon
with two club feet.

However, there is a feeble glint
of promise in his eyes.

I think I can do something with him.

Good.

(Man) 'George S. Grove,
born Albany, New York, May 10, 1933.

'BA Electrical Engineering,
Clarkson College.

'Served two tours,
Fly Sergeant, Korean conflict.

'In 1962, founded Grove Industries
Advanced Weapons Technology.

'Current projects:
CD-18 surface-to-air missile.

'HARP: High Altitude
Reconnaissance Probe,

'prototype for
the Star Wars programme.'

(Woman) 'Investigation,
corporate tax evasion, 1979.

'No charges filed.

'1981, suspected bribery,
procurement defence contracts.

'After the disappearance
of investigating officer Murray Benton,

'no charges filed.'

(Man) 'There were three witnesses alleged
to have seen the murder of Benton.

'No charges were filed
for lack of evidence.

'They disappeared too.

'If the company can't get anything
on Grove, then you know he's good.'

You'll have terror for breakfast, pressure
for lunch and aggravation for sleep.

Your vacations will be two minutes
when not looking over your shoulder,

and if you live to draw a pension,
it'll be a miracle.

Are there any disadvantages?

Hell, I'm lucky I've lasted this long.

Tell me something.
Can you dodge bullets?

Nowadays only if they come real slow.

- Do I really have to live with him?
- Chiun's not crazy about the idea either.

He says you smell like hamburgers.

Top floor. See you.

Hey, MacCleary.

If this is another set-up, you won't live
to collect that pension. I guarantee it.

Didn't I tell you?
We don't use that bang-bang stuff.

Your mind and your body
become your weapon.

That's what your new pal Chiun
is gonna teach you.

OK, so you caught me
with a couple of lucky shots.

But I gotta hand it to you,
that bullet-dodging number wasn't bad.

And I like the little thing you did
with the gun.

You move like a pregnant yak.

Sit.

Breathe.

Breathe?
Come on, you've got...

Silence! A fool chatters,
whilst the wise man listens.

Breathe.

(Exhales heavily)

Wait. Is this the kind of training
where we sit around for ten years

until I break a brick with my toe?

You have come into the care of Chiun,

Master of Sinanju.

Sinanju is a village in Korea
where all the fighting arts were born.

Kung fu, karate, ninjutsu.

They are all but shadows.
Sinanju is the sun.

Most intelligent people
know this already,

but it is apparent to me
that you know less than nothing.

Pay attention.

You did not ask to be white,
so perhaps that is not your fault.

You did not ask to be here,
perhaps that is not your fault either.

So let us make this pact.

I will train you for your first service,

and then I will return to my country.

Pressure, nerve ends. Sinanju.

Technique developed
since the birth of time

by the most gifted race on earth.

Do you always talk
like a Chinese fortune cookie?

Chinese? The Korean is
the most perfect creature

ever to sanctify the earth
with the imprint of his foot.

- Now we will breathe.
- Breathe.

Breathe out.

Slowly.

Do not gulp.

If you do not breathe correctly,

you do not move correctly.

Pitiful!

I can see the deadly hamburger
has done its evil work.

We must sweat the poison
from your body

and rebuild from the inside.

Now we will proceed
to lesson number two.

Follow, please.

What are you waiting for?
Applause?

Midtown. 44th Street.

You are afraid.

Fear is nothing more than a feeling.

You feel hot, you feel hungry,
you feel angry, you feel afraid.

Fear can never kill you.

Purge your mind of fear
and believe in yourself.

Without that belief,
I can do nothing with you.

Now we will do it again,

but faster.

(Woman) 'Grove High Altitude
Reconnaissance Probe.

'Originally projected $758 million.

'Final assembly of prototype, $986 million.

'Estimated cost at time of commission,
$1.22 billion.

'These figures are in 1983 dollars.
The prototype... '

(Man) 'Currently, our friend Grove
is playing the DC charity circuit.

'Big donor. He's also big with
the Star Wars crowd, and he ought to be.

'Half of 'em are on his payroll.

'He's good. Real good.'

- No more Boy Scouts.
- Yes, George.

(Alarm blaring)

(Smith) That's interesting.

Someone's trying enter one of the circuits
I had marked for special surveillance.

I wonder who the intruder is.

(Beeping)

- Oh!
- What's the matter?

- I can't get what I'm looking for.
- I hate to hear you say that.

Why should the HARP DBA Cost 62
be restricted?

Maybe you've got cold hands.

Allow me.

See?

Do I sense frustration?

I'll bet you've had
a lot of experience at that.

If I continue to stroke these little keys...

You might stunt your growth.
No, I'll seek satisfaction elsewhere.

(Watson) Come in!

- Major Fleming.
- General, I have a problem.

The computer's classifying cost overruns
within the HARP database.

- You know what I think about computers.
- It's not a malfunction.

- Maybe it hasn't been entered yet.
- It has, access has been denied.

General, I'm the senior WCA
on this post,

I should have access to that information,
there's no reason for it to be withheld.

Right. We do have a problem.
Let me have a full report.

You'll have it tonight. I'd appreciate action
by the time I return from Fort Baxter.

- Fort Baxter?
- The AR-60 test.

The Grove infantry assault rifle.

Of course, the AR-60.
You have a job to do.

But let me give you a word of advice.
Never feel you have to overdo it.

It makes no difference to me
that you're a woman.

That's good news, sir.

If it's any reassurance, it makes
no difference to me that you're a man.

(Door slams)

What have you done with the food?

A Korean fingerboard.

- What are you staring at?
- You can't see.

- I can see.
- What are you wearing those for?

I wear glasses
so that I may see more.

A Korean fingerboard.

Begin tapping your fingers, slowly at first,
and then increasing the force.

With time, your nails will become hard
and your fingers strong.

They will be able to do more
than carry food to your face.

- They will become a trained weapon.
- Trained to kill?

Not kill. A truck kill.

Meat of cow kill.

American assassins kill,
like butchers.

Masters of Sinanju,
since the dawn of time,

have killed to promote harmony

and to bring about a more peaceful
humour to the entire community.

We have done this throughout history.

For example, Genghis Khan.

The Persian boy, Alexander.

- Robin Hood.
- Robin Hood?

A bandit.
Louis XIII. Napoleon.

Come on. Napoleon died in his bed.

Wrong.

All of them... perfect assassinations.

You make it sound like a public service.

Professional assassination is
the highest form of public service.

So I will persevere.

I have taken the Emperor Smith's gold,

and a Korean's word is his bond.

Place your hands behind your head.

I did not say keep them there.

Your reflexes are pitiful.
The seasons move faster.

A result of all that filthy poison
you have been stuffing into your belly.

You know why
Americans call it fast food?

Because it speeds them
on the way to the grave.

(High-pitched chuckle)

As I feared,
you have no sense of humour.

From now on, you will eat rice.

Eat rice and play with my fingerboard.
Great.

Keep it near you. Hang it on a wall.

How?

Find a nail.

(TV soap dialogue)

- 'Good morning, Jim.'
- 'Hi, Doc.'

- 'How are you feeling? '
- 'Never better.'

'Coach Jenkins came by last night.
They're saving my place on the team.

'When I'm out of here in two weeks,
I'm going back on that squad.'

- (Doc sighs)
- 'What's the matter, Doc? '

'I'm sorry, Jim. I've got to level with you.

- 'The leg has got to come off.'
- 'No.

'No.

'I was gonna be an All-American.'

'Well, now you can... you can be
an All-American for courage.'

'Doctor, does Linda know? '

'There's something else
I've got to tell you, Jim... '

What are you watching?

You country's one and only
contribution to the art.

It concern family, love,
honour and courage,

all that is noblest in the human spirit.

- It's a soap opera, for chrissakes!
- Shh. You'll spoil it.

It's pre-spoiled.
It's 8:00 and I haven't eaten all day.

One minute to eight.
The trained mind does not need a watch.

Watches are a confidence trick
invented by the Swiss.

You would be better employed
developing your pitiful skills

than whining about your belly.

Remember: perfection is a road,
not a destination.

Oh, I love it when you talk like that.

I would love it if you would kindly
concentrate on your practice.

Keep the weight off your toes.

Ta-da!

(Chiun) Every man is occasionally
blessed with luck.

Now... down.

My pleasure.

Down is easy.

Hey, what happened?

You rely on what you know,
not what you see.

What is your problem?

(Remo) Whoa!

(Crashing)

Pathetic.

(Sergeant) Come on, it's only water.
It won't bite you.

Move it!

I said, move it!

- Everything OK, Jerry?
- Yeah, sure.

That's it, Damico. Hide behind a leaf.
No one'll find you there.

(Sergeant) Don't just stand there!
Get in there and help Johnson!

Finnerty! Radio the base and get
an ambulance out here on the double!

Yes, sir.

Hoffa, what the hell are you doing?
Break out the first aid kit. Now!

About this new weapon, sir,
I wanna tell you something!

- It's useless, sir!
- (Officer) You're out of line, soldier.

Sergeant, assemble the company.
I want a weapons check right away.

I want your report on my desk by 1600.

(Sergeant) Sir, we got over 120
AR-60s in this company.

(Officer) You heard what I said.
Get to it.

(Telephone ringing)

Yes?

General Watson.

- Morning, General.
- We've got a problem, George.

I'm sure you can handle it, General.

A soldier's been killed
by your new AR-60.

That's what they get paid for.

It blew up in his face, George.
I've got the report here on my desk.

'There'll have to be an inquiry.'

- Scott.
- Scott, I suggest you lose that report.

I can't do that.

Listen to me.

Uncle Sam gave you your uniform.
Everything else you got from me.

'Bury that report.'

Thank you, General.

Too many idiots like him
on the payroll.

Breathe.

Use the air.

Do not waste it.

- Relax.
- Relax...

(♪ Carnival music)

(Chiun) Will you hang there all day or
may we continue the exercise, please?

Jesus.

Concentrate!
This is no time for prayer.

You are not here to sightsee!

That's it, kids. Lady Luck's watching you.
She's got her eyes on you.

She hasn't got all day. She's late
for a crap game in Bensonhurst.

Seven hoops a dollar,
every one a winner.

Hey, sir. You want to make
your grandchildren happy?

Drop a hoop on a bottle,
win a prize,

and you're gonna see
their little faces light up.

And your money back, Gramps,
if you can tell me where you can buy

one of these genuine handmade
Taiwanese beauties.

Just remember, I won it.
He's mine.

(TV soap dialogue)
'If you'll excuse me, Dr Hastings,

'I must get to the theatre
and scrub up.'

'But it's a dangerous operation.
It's never been tried before.'

'I promised that boy he's going to walk,
and he's going to walk.'

'If you fail,
it could mean a malpractice suit.

'Think of your professional reputation.'

'That boy means more to me than
all my professional awards combined.

'There's only one thing that worries me.

'Whether his stepmother
will permit the operation.

'You see, she's my... ex-wife.'

- 'Where's Jim? '
- 'You shouldn't be here.'

- 'I said, where's Jim? '
- 'I'm sorry, you will have to leave.'

'Nobody will stop me
from seeing my fiancé.'

- 'What did you say? '
- 'Jim and I are engaged.'

'Tune in at the same time tomorrow

'for our continuing saga
of Beyond the Night,

'brought to you by Continental Airlines,
a new tradition in flying.'

- Jim is leaving the hospital.
- Great.

- He's going to his mother's funeral.
- Oh, that's tough.

- But I think the nurse likes him.
- Good.

There seems to be some complication
with his stepmother.

It would be better for you to eat this can
than what is inside of it.

Why must everything in this country
be covered with monosid... monoso?

Monosodium glutamate.
You can't even say it.

I can say "rat droppings".
Does not mean I want to eat them.

Tomorrow, if you work well, you may
have a teaspoon of honey in your rice.

But I make no promises.

You heard the sound of my flexor
tendons as I squeezed the trigger.

And I saw the flutter
of your metacarpals. Not bad, huh?

That's two bullets. Child's play.

When you can avoid six bullets, then
you will have accomplished something.

- No rice.
- No rice?

You forgot the rice.

Maybe we could grow some.

Maybe you will spare me
your feeble attempts at humour

and save them for the shopkeeper at
the corner. He has excellent Chungju rice.

(Click)

You used the other four yesterday.

I reloaded.

(Man) 'With all due respect to the Major,

'at this point in time, Ms Fleming,
cost overruns are immaterial.

'The Air force cannot evaluate HARP
until HARP flies.'

(Fleming) 'Exactly my point.
Mr Chairman... '

If I may be permitted
to ask Mr Grove a question...

When can we expect to see the HARP,
Mr Grove?

I can't believe
what I'm hearing here today.

I've devoted my life to developing
better ways to defend this great country.

I never raised the subject
of your patriotism.

- I should damn well hope not.
- (Fleming) To get back to the question...

What about the CD-18? Three months
ahead of schedule and under budget.

Ready for testing next week.

Mount Promise, I know.
General Watson and I will be there.

(Smith) 'I'm impressed. This girl has guts.'
(MacCleary) 'Who? '

Major Fleming. She's the one
who tried to tap into the Grove circuit.

If she's not careful, she'll wind up
with her ass in a sling.

Ah! She's coming into New York, Mac.
Maybe you better slow her down a bit.

'Every time she mentions HARP,
our man Grove begins to get an itch.

'I wonder why.'

I want that bitch
put on a very short leash.

Should be right up your alley,
eh, Stone?

Pick up your feet.

Float.

Congratulations, Chiun.

Bearing in mind that nature snubbed him
cruelly by denying him Korean birth,

I am not entirely dissatisfied.

- Good. When will he be ready?
- Ahead of time.

Excellent. That means...

- 15 years.
- 15 years?

If I cut a few corners, 14 and a half.

Chiun, I need to borrow him for a while.

(TV soap dialogue)

(Man) 'Emily, Jim's your son.'
(Woman) 'I'm only his stepmother.

'Margaret told me something
before she died.'

(Man) 'What's that? '
(Woman) 'Jim's your son, too.'

(♪ Chiun sings in Korean)

Is it painful?

I was singing old Korean love song.

The race must be practically extinct.

Chiun, you mind
if I ask you something?

Two more minutes.

No, I mean... How old are you?
You are old, aren't you?

For an apricot, yes.
For head of lettuce, even more so.

But for a mountain,
I am not even begun in years.

For a man, I am just right.

Well, now I know, don't I?

Er...

You ever been married?

I am the Master of Sinanju.

No women, vows of celibacy,
eunuchs, that sort of stuff, huh?

You are trying to say something?

No, no. Just, er...

I've been cooped up
in this rat hole for a month and...

- Sex.
- Yeah, sex. Now you're cooking.

- Maybe it's the breathing and the rice...
- Lesson 36.

36?

The 20 steps designed to bring
a woman to sexual ecstasy.

Though I personally have rarely found it
necessary to go beyond seven

to achieve bliss.

Go on, I'm listening.

With the left hand,
you locate the woman's pulse.

Then, with the middle finger,

and tapping in time with the pulse...

Then what?

Then you may put the rice in a bowl
and we may eat.

What was the number of the lesson
this morning? It wasn't 36, I know that.

You would call it four.
I would call it embarrassing.

You know, Chiun, there are times
when I really like you.

Of course. I am Chiun.

And there are times
when I could really kill you.

Good. We will practise that after dinner.

(Woman) Major Fleming?

Colonel Gayber's expecting you.

Major Fleming, sir.

Hello, Major.
I have the documents you requested.

I don't believe this. Oh, Jesus!

(Lift bell rings)

Phew!

Hi.

That's a nice uniform.

Great buttons.

Buttons?

(Camera clicks)

Taxi! Taxi!

Oh, hell.

You can never get one
when you want one. Taxi!

Let me do this.
You've got your hands full.

Thanks very much for your help,
but I... think I'll walk.

(Honks horn)

(Honks)

- You got a problem, buddy?
- Get out of the way.

Am I keeping you from something?

If you're in a hurry, pal,
just say so.

People in New York have manners.
They don't lean on their horns.

Jesus.
Who's your dentist, Tiffany's?

What are you doing to that boy?

Unnecessary use of the horn, officer.

I'll be "unnecessary use of my nightstick
on your thick skull" if you don't let him go.

Whatever happened to police courtesy?

We save that bullshit
for the Upper East Side.

I'll kick your white ass if you don't stop
kung-fuing that man's throat. Move it!

Yes, sir, ma'am, anything you say.
You're just doing your duty.

I'm just a law-abiding citizen.

I said move it.

(Wilson) I don't like it, George.

Have you seen these photos
that Stone took?

We've got one phoney-bird colonel
playing footsies

with one little Miss Know-it-all

who's dodging tails
with one faceless wonder

who's so anonymous he doesn't even
have any record or fingerprints.

They're throwing a secret fraud squad
at us and we're fishing in the dark.

Obviously. Before I can shut them down,
I need to know who they are.

- Shake some trees, see who falls out.
- I've done that and come up empty.

Of course. Because you haven't played
hardball, like we did in Tennessee.

Let's give them a body,
see who claims it.

Start with him.

(Remo) Couldn't we skip
this lesson and move on a bit?

Say, to lesson number 36?

Silence! The Emperor Smith
is disgusted with your progress.

He's not an emperor.

Enough. You are using only a fraction
of the power in your body and your brain.

Sinanju uses it all.

That is its sole secret,

its only strength.

You are here to conquer
your childish fear of heights.

When you have done so, we shall
meet below and start another exercise.

(♪ Remo Williams theme)

27, 28, 29, 30.

- You got it, mister.
- No problem. Like falling off a log.

I'll take mine now, Frankie.
Come on, give it to me.

- (Clunk)
- (Man giggles)

What are you guys, crazy?

- You got no right, up here.
- Authorised personnel only.

- That's to prevent accidents.
- Suicide, that kind of thing.

OK, look.
I'm coming down, all right?

Yeah, you sure are. The short way.

End of the line, pal.

- He's coming your way!
- I got him.

Come on, get him now.

(Cackling)

(Stone) I rather enjoyed that.

(Wilson) Eight and a half gainer
with a full twist.

Your people did a good job.

(Stone) All right, let's get out of here.

OK, guys, it's Miller time.

(Worker) I tried to grab him.
He must've slipped. Whee!

(Worker #2) I saw that.

- I'd buy that, Frank.
- He's falling down.

- Terrible.
- Tragic.

What the hell's going on?

Bastard.

He's behind you.

Go away!

(Horn blasts)

Get him.

All right, man. I didn't do nothing.

- You can't come over here.
- Look out, buddy.

No! That's new cement, man.

Wait! Hey! Hey, buddy!

Mac, I could tell you what George Grove
had for lunch every day this month.

But I can't find out a goddamn thing
about HARP.

How did he manage that little trick?

Good. I'm glad you're both here.
We're gonna sort something out.

I was just chased around
the Statue of Liberty by a bunch of goons.

What were you doing
on the Statue of Liberty?

Chasing pigeons!
Those guys are trying to kill me.

- Who?
- Our friend with the Tiffany tooth.

Will somebody tell me
what's going on?

- If he's on to Remo, he's on to us.
- Who's he?

Why don't we take him out
before he gets any closer?

No. I can't do that, Mac.
I need more to go on.

Those guys tried to kill me.

Mr Williams, CURE is not interested
in your personal problems.

CURE sucks, whatever CURE is.

Mr Williams, what we can't do here
is embarrass the president.

Now, a man named Grove
has discovered your existence.

But before CURE becomes visible,

we must all disappear without a trace.

How do you plan to do that?

Simple.

Harold W. Smith, assistant research
manager, found dead in his office.

Massive coronary.

I keep this pill in my pocket.

Another man is found in the stockroom
of a men's haberdashery,

his head blown off.

Where does that leave me?

It leaves you with your slant-eyed
little buddy, Chiun.

He's got your number.

It should be fast and painless.

Hey, boys, we're not there yet.

But we'd better have a look at the HARP
and come up with something soon,

or we will have to vacate this office.

(MacCleary) So you and I are going
to visit Mr Grove's plant.

Allegheny, 10 o'clock, gate 23.

Don't be late.

(Clatter)

There is something you wish to ask?

The answer is yes.

If the Emperor Smith so ordered it,
I would have to kill you.

It is in the contract.

Cliff wants you.

- Chiun teach you that?
- No.

Anti-personnel mine. Korea.

(MacCleary) See you back at the fence.

(Growls)

(Dogs snarl)

What lesson number was dogs, Chiun?

Try to get up here, you sons of bitches.

You're not your average sons of bitches.

(Dogs bark)

(Dogs snarl)

(Rats squealing)

(Screams)

(Alarm buzzing)

(Sirens wailing)

(Snarls)

Try that, you mother.

(Whimpering)

(MacCleary) Remo!

- What happened?
- Oh, man, I blew it.

(MacCleary) Don't worry. I think I got
what we need here. Come on.

(Explosion)

Grab that dozer.

(Dog barking)

Move it!

(MacCleary) Jump!

(Grunts)

Get this to Smith.

He won't be with us for much longer.

Has he talked yet?

Get Stone.

(ECG beeping steadily)

(Smith) HARP...

The so-called cornerstone of defence
for this nation for the next decade.

What about it?

What about it?
There is none. It doesn't exist.

(Remo) But I saw the damn thing,
It blew up in my face.

I know.

What you saw was a fake,
it was window-dressing. It doesn't exist.

Before you got close enough
to figure it out, poof. Self-destruct.

Blew our only hard piece of evidence
right out of court.

Hell, I bet this guy's filing
for his fire insurance claims right now.

I gotta take my hat off
to this Mr Grove, Remo.

He'll get his appropriations
for HARP 2 and HARP 3,

and in six months' time nobody will even
ask him what happened to HARP 1.

You think it's funny?

Mac gives his life to get that stuff
so you can nail the bastard,

but he's gonna get away with it
and we can't stop him?

You can stop him, son.

Just tell me where he is.

Mount Promise.

But it's got to look like one
of Chiun's perfect accidents.

It'll be my pleasure.

Major, nice to see you again.

I feel I owe you an apology.

I get annoyed when someone tells me
how to run my business.

But you're just doing your job,
and pretty darned well, by the looks of it.

The important thing is that we're both
working for the same side, right?

Yes, Mr Grove.
Speaking of work, I have a lot to do.

Carry on, Major.

Actually, General, there was one point
I wanted to clear up with the Major.

- (Watson) What have you got there?
- Just a small matter of national security.

Who are you working for?

Let me explain something to you,
Mr Grove. A: I don't like being spied on.

B: you have no right to make
accusations that you cannot prove.

And C: I have no idea
who these men are or who they work for.

So if you'll excuse me, General,
I have things to attend to.

Hi. Er... Remember me?

Oh, yes. I remember you, all right.

You just set my career back a decade.

I'm supposed to be your accomplice.
Who the hell are you?

- I could march you into that building now.
- But you won't.

Who are you to give me orders?
Army Intelligence?

You are Army Intelligence?

It's the AR-60, isn't it?

No wonder I've been having trouble
getting information.

We've been working on the same thing.
I'm sorry.

I don't know your name or rank.
Do I salute you?

You salute me.

Major Fleming, hi, I'm Jim Wilson,
Grove Industries.

General Watson asked me
to contact you.

He tells me you're concerned
about our AR-60s.

Damn right. It's time this problem
was taken seriously.

That's why I'm here. I've got one set up
on C range. I can run you down there.

I'd appreciate that, Mr Wilson. Let's go.

What are you waiting for, soldier?
A presidential invitation?

The only thing our guys
could figure out

was that the retaining ring
hadn't been bolted down correctly.

It doesn't click on like a bayonet joint.

If some dumb dogface doesn't follow
specs and tries to force it, it'll malfunction.

Malfunction? When a piece of metal
blows someone's head off,

that isn't malfunction,
it's defective manufacture.

It means that your company
allowed a design error to creep in.

Did you run the 310 test
and the 480 sequence?

- No. I think we're gonna find blowback.
- Blowback?

If that retaining ring is misaligned,
a bullet could jam in the barrel.

At 20 rounds a second at full automatic,
the results would be catastrophic.

Catastrophic is not the word.

I must tell you that the army has long
suspected Grove Industries of...

What the hell is going on?

Give it five minutes.
Don't forget to unlock the safety catches.

Got to look like a nice little accident.

(Stone) That's for my friends
at the statue.

This one's for me.

(Watson) So listen to this, George.
Four putts. Four putts, mind you!

I thought he'd have a stroke.
And I'd have claimed it.

Sir, there's been a serious incident at
the gas testing area. Fatal, I'm afraid.

- That's terrible.
- What happened?

One of your assistants, Mr Grove.

(Fleming) The first thing I'm gonna do
is file a 1611.

If that doesn't work,
I'm gonna nail him with a 1098.

Who were those bastards?

Wilson's gonna wish he'd never
been born by the time I've finished.

What the hell was he was doing?

Thank you.

By the way, I guess I should also
thank you for getting me out of there.

I remember passing out and then...

I think we'd better keep moving.

Hey, hey! That's not the way.
The camp is up there.

I know.
That's why we're going this way.

I've got to report this to General Watson.
Those people tried to kill us.

- Major Fleming...
- Rayner.

I hate to pull rank, but I want
Grove Industries as bad as you do, right?

Let's do it my way. Neat and tidy.
All wrapped up in one package.

- How does that sound?
- Sounds good to me. Sir.

Gentlemen, as of now
this base is on Alpha One alert.

This is not an exercise.
I repeat, this is not an exercise.

Military secrets have been stolen
and Major Fleming is missing.

Our infrared heat sensors
indicate two targets

moving west toward the perimeter
of the camp.

They must be intercepted
and detained.

Sir, if there's resistance,
do we return fire?

The security of the United States
is at risk. What do you think?

Gentlemen, you have your orders.

I haven't eaten this good in weeks.

- How are you feeling?
- Fine.

- Sure?
- Sure.

We're gonna be down at the lake.

(Bird chirping)

(Remo screams)

You are deaf.

I have been stomping around here
for ten minutes,

while you talk nonsense
with this... woman.

It's a pleasure to meet you, too.

Even worse, you and the woman
gorge yourself on sweets.

I do have a name.

Women should stay home
and make babies.

Preferably man child.

I see you both went
to the same charm school.

He always talks like that. He's Korean.

I see. That's why he lives in a forest.

No, he's here for a special purpose.
To kill me.

Not so. I am here to see that you do
not bring shame to the house of Sinanju.

If I do, then you kill me.

That I would do reluctantly because you
have been a good pupil, for a white man.

I see. So that makes everything OK,
does it?

You are very skinny.

(♪ Music on car radio)

Why don't you try
tightening the pinion nuts first?

If I do that, I won't be able
to line up the splines, dummy.

Sure don't make 'em like they used to.

I'll tell Lee Iacocca you said that.

Damn, what'd you do?

(Knocking)

(Remo) The brakes!

Jesus! Jump.

- You all right?
- I'm fine.

You all right, Chiun?

- Oh!
- Oh, Christ.

Oh, God. Chiun.

In Korea, door handles do not break.

Chiun!

Chiun, are you all right?

- Are you hurt?
- No.

When you approach middle age,

there is a tendency
towards bruising, my son.

What? What did you call me?

I call you a clumsy oaf.

You drive like a monkey in heat!

Oh, my God. Are you all right?

And why should I not be?

What are we gonna do now?

You're gonna stay with Chiun.
He'll probably teach you to breathe.

- I have a job to finish.
- Remo!

Do not embarrass us.

I won't.

Little father.

This is ridiculous.
Do you know what he's doing?

- They'll arrest him and court-martial him.
- Silence.

They'll lock him up for good and you just
stand there. Why don't you help him?

(Gasps)

Lesson 22. Blessed silence.

(Radio) 'This is Pine Tree Command.

'Gentlemen, I hope we're in
for some good hunting today.

'Prepare to copy your sector priorities.

'That includes you and your little buddies
down there, Liebowitz.'

- Go ahead, Pine Tree.
- 'All stations to Situ One.

'That means pull your fingers
outta your ears. We're live this morning.'

- 'Pine Tree, this is Mistletoe.'
- 'Come in, Mistletoe.'

Bearing 1-2-0. We have contact.

- 'Targets heading west.'
- 'Range? '

'3.6 and closing.'

'That's a rog. Thank you, Mistletoe.
Pine Tree, all stations go to Situ 2.

'Go to Situ 2.
This is not an exercise. We are live.'

This is Redwood.
We have triangulation.

Alpha, seven, one, two,
Zulu, zero, zero, nine.

Target entering carpet area.

'This is Bandit Chief. Go to Situ 3.
Lock and load.'

- 'On your command, Bandit Chief.'
- Prime.

Red Four live. Red Five live.

'Pine Tree Command.
We show two in the green.

'All sectors secure.
Over to you, Bandit Chief.'

Commence pattern.

'This is Pine Tree Command.
Good work.

'Prepare to stand down sectors Redwood,
Douglas, Cedar, and Mistletoe.

'Mop up command search party
to Red Four and report.'

(Woman) 'Roger, Pine Tree.
Will comply.'

They better take the Bat Jet.
You're not gonna believe this, Pine Tree.

My system indicates human presence
50 metres above the ground.

This sucker must've grown wings!

This is Bandit Chief.
I say again, this is Bandit Chief.

Stop your goddamn chattering and give
me radio silence and map co-ordinates.

(Woman) 'Coming right up, sir.'

(Man) 'You are proceeding
in a northerly direction.'

(Wilson) Not us, you jackass.
The target!

(Woman) 'Yes, sir.
Foxtrot, four, six, four.

'Zulu, five, zero, five,
heading toward the lake.'

(Grove) Stop!

All right, soldier.
Nail that commie son of a bitch.

Get him.

That guy's going nowhere, sir.

Oh, no!

- Shit.
- Are you out of your mind, George?

(Grove) It's your ass too, Scott.

- Damn. Get me more ammo!
- (Wilson) He's getting away, George.

(Grove) I can see that.
What are you waiting for?

(Radio) 'Pine Tree Command.
Come in, Bandit Chief. Over.'

(Grove) Stop right there!

I used to be interested in who
you work for. Now I don't give a damn.

You're a dangerous liability,
my friend.

You'll be dead in about 15 seconds.

They'll probably give me a medal
for shooting you.

Who are you?

Remo Williams.

(News) 'Also found in the wreckage
of this tragic accident

'was George S. Grove,
chairman of Grove Industries,

'many times recipient of the presidential
medal for excellence

'and well known for his contributions
to charity.

'Also killed was Brigadier General Scott... '

- Where's Chiun?
- He went to look for you.

(Officer) First squad, take a right flank.

Be careful, they may be armed.

Watch the Major.
She's a woman and she's on our side.

There he is.

(Soldier) Careful, men. Hold your fire.

You must run very fast.

Who are you?

Would you believe we're the good guys?

Are you all right, Major?

Oh, yes. Fine.

Everything's fine.

(Chiun) Faster!

(Remo) Sometimes
you're a real pain in the ass.

(Chiun) That is because
it is the shortest route to your brain!

(Chiun) But we must hurry.
(Remo) What's the rush?

(Chiun) We must return in time to see
if Jim is truly going to walk.

(Remo) What?

(Chiun) Or has the doctor
merely told him so,

because he hopes to get a new wing
for the hospital from his stepmother?

(Remo) Chiun, you're incredible.

(Chiun) No...

I am better than that.