All language subtitles for Mom.S05E16.Eight.Cats.and.the.Hat.Show.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb-SDH

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,437 --> 00:00:04,048 Hi, Jill, alcoholic.OTHERS: Hi, Jill. 2 00:00:04,092 --> 00:00:05,354 Things are good. 3 00:00:05,397 --> 00:00:06,877 I got my 30-day chip yesterday. 4 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,270 Some of y'all weren't there, 5 00:00:08,313 --> 00:00:10,402 so I thought I'd give you a chance to applaud. 6 00:00:13,318 --> 00:00:15,668 Oh, come on! Carla got more applause 7 00:00:15,712 --> 00:00:17,322 for not sleeping with her brother-in-law. 8 00:00:19,716 --> 00:00:21,109 Better. 9 00:00:22,806 --> 00:00:25,113 Anyway, my only complaint is, now that I'm a newcomer again, 10 00:00:25,156 --> 00:00:27,332 I'm not supposed to date for a year. 11 00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:29,987 I mean, the Lamborghini's gassed up and fully detailed, 12 00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,555 but Marjorie won't let me take it out of the garage. 13 00:00:32,598 --> 00:00:34,296 Give it time. 14 00:00:34,339 --> 00:00:37,690 Vroom-vroom, Marjorie! Vroom-vroom! 15 00:00:37,734 --> 00:00:40,389 That's all I got. 16 00:00:41,955 --> 00:00:44,306 Hi, Bonnie, alcoholic.OTHERS: Hi, Bonnie. 17 00:00:44,349 --> 00:00:46,438 Some of you may recall my recent share 18 00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:49,137 about my fiancé's 17-year-old dog 19 00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:50,616 crossing over the rainbow bridge. 20 00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:52,357 I wasn't here. What happened? 21 00:00:52,401 --> 00:00:54,055 Dog went gay? 22 00:00:54,098 --> 00:00:56,100 He died. 23 00:00:56,144 --> 00:00:57,536 Aw. 24 00:00:57,580 --> 00:01:01,236 Yes "aw," total "aw," justified "aw." 25 00:01:01,279 --> 00:01:03,412 Thankfully, Samson died peacefully in his sleep 26 00:01:03,455 --> 00:01:05,370 with a big ol' pork chop in his belly. 27 00:01:05,414 --> 00:01:08,460 God knows that's how I want to go. 28 00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:10,723 The problem is, that was three weeks ago, 29 00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:12,595 and Adam is still devastated. 30 00:01:12,638 --> 00:01:16,512 I am relatively new to this-- what's it called, empathy? 31 00:01:18,253 --> 00:01:21,212 But shouldn't he be through the five stages of grief by now? 32 00:01:21,256 --> 00:01:23,606 He's not shaving or showering; he's wearing the same sweatshirt 33 00:01:23,649 --> 00:01:25,129 because it smells like his dog, 34 00:01:25,173 --> 00:01:27,436 which means my fiancé smells like a dog. 35 00:01:27,479 --> 00:01:31,266 I mean, I want to continue supporting him, but... [sighs] 36 00:01:31,309 --> 00:01:33,833 So I will say to you what I can't say to him. 37 00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:36,488 All dogs go to heaven. Move on! 38 00:01:36,532 --> 00:01:39,665 Thanks. 39 00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:42,146 Hi, Christy, alcoholic. 40 00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:44,366 OTHERS: Hi, Christy. 41 00:01:44,409 --> 00:01:47,282 So, I've been having some trouble with my boyfriend. 42 00:01:47,325 --> 00:01:50,415 Oh, no. They're my Kate and William. 43 00:01:50,459 --> 00:01:52,896 His birthday weekend didn't go well, 44 00:01:52,939 --> 00:01:55,681 so I've been overthinking everything. 45 00:01:55,725 --> 00:01:58,162 He texted me "How ya doin'?" 46 00:01:58,206 --> 00:02:00,991 and I panicked and sent him an emoji of a cow. 47 00:02:01,034 --> 00:02:02,645 I have no idea what it meant. 48 00:02:04,212 --> 00:02:06,257 Tonight, he wants to Skype, 49 00:02:06,301 --> 00:02:10,435 and I don't know whether it's a sexy Skype or a breakup Skype. 50 00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:13,221 I mean, what do I wear? 51 00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:17,790 I don't want to be sitting there in my nipple-less bra when... 52 00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:19,444 he dumps me. 53 00:02:19,488 --> 00:02:22,491 Oh, honey. 54 00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,536 [sobbing]: Oh, God! 55 00:02:29,454 --> 00:02:32,414 This is empathy, right? 56 00:02:32,457 --> 00:02:34,459 ♪ 57 00:02:52,651 --> 00:02:54,610 Hey, honey. 58 00:02:55,872 --> 00:02:56,916 Excuse me. 59 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,049 Are you my fiancé's son? 60 00:02:59,092 --> 00:03:01,834 Because I'm having some forbidden feelings. 61 00:03:01,878 --> 00:03:04,010 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I showered and shaved. 62 00:03:04,054 --> 00:03:05,882 Clean hair, clean teeth, clean underwear. 63 00:03:05,925 --> 00:03:07,013 [sighs] 64 00:03:07,057 --> 00:03:08,798 Wait, what's that I smell? 65 00:03:08,841 --> 00:03:12,976 [sniffs] Mmm. It's nothing! 66 00:03:13,019 --> 00:03:17,459 I think I'm ready to wash the dog bowls and put them away. 67 00:03:17,502 --> 00:03:20,592 Progress. Awesome, I love it. Why don't you let me do it. 68 00:03:20,636 --> 00:03:22,899 You go watch some TV and just relax. 69 00:03:22,942 --> 00:03:24,074 Thanks, babe. 70 00:03:25,684 --> 00:03:27,904 Hey, I was thinking maybe later we could go out for dinner. 71 00:03:27,947 --> 00:03:29,122 We could go to that place 72 00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:30,602 where they flip the shrimp in your mouth. 73 00:03:30,646 --> 00:03:32,213 Yeah, I like that place. 74 00:03:32,256 --> 00:03:34,258 Remember when I caught one in my cleavage? 75 00:03:34,302 --> 00:03:36,869 Ah, everybody enjoyed that. 76 00:03:40,873 --> 00:03:43,224 [clanking] 77 00:03:45,530 --> 00:03:48,054 This one's got to soak. 78 00:03:48,098 --> 00:03:50,143 MAN [over TV]: He's more than a dog. 79 00:03:50,187 --> 00:03:52,145 He's your best friend. 80 00:03:52,189 --> 00:03:54,060 [dog barks] 81 00:03:54,104 --> 00:03:56,933 What are you watching? What are you watching? 82 00:03:56,976 --> 00:03:58,935 Ah, it's just a stupid commercial. 83 00:03:58,978 --> 00:04:00,937 ["Best Friend" by Harry Nilsson playing over TV] 84 00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:04,810 [sighs] They're best friends. They grew up together. 85 00:04:04,854 --> 00:04:08,858 [voice breaks]: But now he's too old to jump in the truck. 86 00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:10,903 [sighs] 87 00:04:14,037 --> 00:04:15,212 Hey. 88 00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:16,996 CHRISTY: Hey. 89 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,781 Well, I'm not spending the night at Adam's. 90 00:04:18,824 --> 00:04:21,958 Weepy Sue is back with a vengeance. 91 00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:25,178 I swear I've had all the sadness I can take for a lifetime. 92 00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:26,963 [crying softly] 93 00:04:29,052 --> 00:04:30,880 [crying softly] 94 00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:51,944 [wails]: Oh! 95 00:04:51,988 --> 00:04:55,034 [sighs] 96 00:04:55,078 --> 00:04:57,689 Oh, no. What happened? 97 00:04:59,387 --> 00:05:03,913 It wasn't sexy Skype. It was breakup Skype. 98 00:05:03,956 --> 00:05:05,871 Oh, honey. 99 00:05:05,915 --> 00:05:08,004 I'm sorry. 100 00:05:08,047 --> 00:05:09,701 At least you dressed appropriately. 101 00:05:11,747 --> 00:05:13,792 I was ready for both. 102 00:05:13,836 --> 00:05:15,881 Oh, that's pretty. 103 00:05:15,925 --> 00:05:17,318 Thanks. It's new. 104 00:05:19,972 --> 00:05:23,149 [sighs] What did Patrick say? 105 00:05:23,193 --> 00:05:25,717 He asked me to go live with him. [sniffles] 106 00:05:25,761 --> 00:05:27,719 He said he would take care of me, 107 00:05:27,763 --> 00:05:29,634 that I wouldn't have to work so much. 108 00:05:29,678 --> 00:05:31,593 That way, we could spend more time together. 109 00:05:31,636 --> 00:05:34,247 But I said no, so he broke up with me. 110 00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,032 Okay. 111 00:05:36,075 --> 00:05:38,469 Why the hell would you say no? 112 00:05:38,513 --> 00:05:41,472 I can't move three hours away. 113 00:05:41,516 --> 00:05:43,256 I have a life here. 114 00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,346 Ish. 115 00:05:45,389 --> 00:05:49,611 Look, it may not be a great life, but it is a life. 116 00:05:49,654 --> 00:05:52,744 I'm not ready to just give all that up. 117 00:05:52,788 --> 00:05:56,531 Well, I support you no matter what, sweetie. 118 00:05:56,574 --> 00:05:59,011 Thanks, Mom. 119 00:05:59,055 --> 00:06:00,535 How 'bout I make you some tea, 120 00:06:00,578 --> 00:06:03,538 and you go watch some TV and-and get your mind off it. 121 00:06:03,581 --> 00:06:05,583 I'd like that. 122 00:06:08,325 --> 00:06:10,849 [sighs] What are you doing to me? 123 00:06:13,461 --> 00:06:17,595 WOMAN [over TV]: We now return to Love Actually. 124 00:06:17,639 --> 00:06:19,684 Nope. 125 00:06:23,471 --> 00:06:25,690 So how's Adam doing?Not great. 126 00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:28,563 Last night, I made him hot dogs and he burst into tears. 127 00:06:28,606 --> 00:06:31,174 I mean, that is a whisper-thin connection. 128 00:06:31,217 --> 00:06:33,437 Bonnie, everybody takes a different amount of time 129 00:06:33,481 --> 00:06:34,656 to process grief. 130 00:06:34,699 --> 00:06:36,745 I know the guy's hurting, and I love him, 131 00:06:36,788 --> 00:06:40,009 but sweet mother of pearl, this is hard. 132 00:06:40,052 --> 00:06:42,664 I give him tissues, I hold him, I make him soup. 133 00:06:42,707 --> 00:06:44,970 And what is the deal with sad people and soup? 134 00:06:45,014 --> 00:06:46,624 He can't get enough soup. 135 00:06:46,668 --> 00:06:48,626 It's too depressing when animals die. 136 00:06:48,670 --> 00:06:50,628 It's why I couldn't become a vet. 137 00:06:50,672 --> 00:06:53,544 And yet you became an emergency room nurse. 138 00:06:53,588 --> 00:06:55,546 What's your point? 139 00:06:55,590 --> 00:06:59,550 I think it's sexy when a man's in touch with his emotions. 140 00:06:59,594 --> 00:07:03,336 Victor cried when my calico Janis Joplin died. 141 00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:07,776 We made love with the lights on that night. 142 00:07:10,039 --> 00:07:11,736 Oh, look! 143 00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,216 Christy's here. 144 00:07:13,259 --> 00:07:14,696 Hey! 145 00:07:14,739 --> 00:07:16,349 Hey, guys. 146 00:07:16,393 --> 00:07:17,873 I'm so sorry, Christy. 147 00:07:17,916 --> 00:07:20,136 I really thought you and Patrick were gonna make it. 148 00:07:20,179 --> 00:07:21,790 Thanks, Wendy. 149 00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:24,793 At least it was a healthy end to a healthy relationship. 150 00:07:28,013 --> 00:07:31,190 [voice breaks]: Healthiest relationship I've ever had. 151 00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,932 Did he actually use the words "I'll take care of you"? 152 00:07:33,976 --> 00:07:35,891 He did.What's wrong with you?! 153 00:07:35,934 --> 00:07:37,153 I don't know! 154 00:07:38,981 --> 00:07:40,765 You know what, Christy, I have got just the thing 155 00:07:40,809 --> 00:07:42,245 to take your mind off your troubles. 156 00:07:42,288 --> 00:07:45,988 Jill, again, I don't want to steam my vagina. 157 00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:49,295 Okay, you didn't give that a chance. 158 00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:53,561 But what I'm thinking is we go to San Francisco 159 00:07:53,604 --> 00:07:56,477 and shop until that hole in your heart is full with Gucci. 160 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,522 That is so kind, but... 161 00:07:58,566 --> 00:07:59,828 Christy, you have always been there for me. 162 00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:01,090 Let me do this for you. 163 00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,092 Well... 164 00:08:03,135 --> 00:08:05,268 I have always wanted to know 165 00:08:05,311 --> 00:08:08,314 what it feels like to just throw money at a problem. 166 00:08:08,358 --> 00:08:13,058 Trust me, it'll get you all tingly like a steamed vagina. 167 00:08:13,102 --> 00:08:16,758 [singsongy]: Ooh, we're going shopping! 168 00:08:16,801 --> 00:08:18,150 No, just Christy. 169 00:08:18,194 --> 00:08:20,283 She's the one who's upset. 170 00:08:20,326 --> 00:08:24,853 I don't know if you've heard, but my fiancé's dog just died. 171 00:08:26,158 --> 00:08:29,074 [sportscast playing quietly over TV] 172 00:08:30,336 --> 00:08:34,253 Aw, there you are, right where I left you. 173 00:08:34,297 --> 00:08:36,299 Hey. 174 00:08:36,342 --> 00:08:38,693 I've heard one way to raise a man's spirits 175 00:08:38,736 --> 00:08:41,783 is to bring a third party into the relationship. 176 00:08:41,826 --> 00:08:45,569 I'm not in the mood for-- Is it Louise from Trader Joe's? 177 00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:49,486 Close. 178 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,794 [singsongy]: It's a puppy! 179 00:08:54,709 --> 00:08:57,276 And he's from the Third Street Shelter. 180 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,017 Bonnie, what are you doing? 181 00:08:59,061 --> 00:09:01,150 I'm trying to hand you an adorable puppy 182 00:09:01,193 --> 00:09:02,847 that will make you happy. You're welcome. 183 00:09:02,891 --> 00:09:05,763 I-I'm not, I'm not gonna take him. 184 00:09:05,807 --> 00:09:07,243 But, honey, he's got puppy breath 185 00:09:07,286 --> 00:09:09,462 and he wants you to be his new daddy. 186 00:09:11,508 --> 00:09:13,510 Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, 187 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,512 but I-I'm not ready for another dog. 188 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,079 Why not? You've got those clean bowls. 189 00:09:17,122 --> 00:09:18,471 You're halfway there. 190 00:09:18,515 --> 00:09:19,995 I'm still grieving over Samson. 191 00:09:20,038 --> 00:09:21,779 It's only been a couple of weeks. 192 00:09:21,823 --> 00:09:23,041 23 days. 193 00:09:23,085 --> 00:09:25,783 Bonnie, listen to me. 194 00:09:25,827 --> 00:09:29,831 I know to you I only lost a dog, but to me, I lost a friend 195 00:09:29,874 --> 00:09:32,616 that got me through the roughest time in my life. 196 00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,444 Well, you're gonna have more rough times. 197 00:09:34,487 --> 00:09:37,708 I mean, you are marrying me. 198 00:09:37,752 --> 00:09:40,232 And maybe this little fella can help. 199 00:09:40,276 --> 00:09:42,321 I mean, I got stuck behind a garbage truck 200 00:09:42,365 --> 00:09:43,975 on my way over here, narrow street, 201 00:09:44,019 --> 00:09:46,325 no way to get around him, and I glance over, 202 00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:49,894 and this guy is giving me a very encouraging look. 203 00:09:55,117 --> 00:09:56,901 Made a difference. 204 00:09:56,945 --> 00:09:59,469 Just flipped a switch right in here. 205 00:09:59,512 --> 00:10:04,082 Take the dog and-and just go. 206 00:10:04,126 --> 00:10:05,736 Are you serious? 207 00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:08,434 Yeah. 208 00:10:08,478 --> 00:10:09,566 Fine. 209 00:10:18,357 --> 00:10:21,360 I asked you to do one thing. 210 00:10:31,327 --> 00:10:33,677 This'll make you forget about Patrick. 211 00:10:33,721 --> 00:10:36,637 This'll make you forget you didn't get into law school. 212 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:39,204 This'll make you forget you live with your mom. 213 00:10:39,248 --> 00:10:40,945 Okay, if we're gonna list all my problems, 214 00:10:40,989 --> 00:10:44,427 we're gonna run out of dresses. 215 00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:47,038 Uh, these are too expensive. 216 00:10:47,082 --> 00:10:49,388 I got to tell you, Jill, I really appreciate this, 217 00:10:49,432 --> 00:10:52,217 but I'm just so much more comfortable at an outlet mall. 218 00:10:52,261 --> 00:10:54,219 Outlet mall? 219 00:10:54,263 --> 00:10:58,223 Can't heal a sad person with sad clothes. 220 00:10:58,267 --> 00:11:00,225 Nothing's gonna heal me. 221 00:11:00,269 --> 00:11:03,228 Why don't you try talking about it? 222 00:11:03,272 --> 00:11:06,057 You know, I took an online class in listening. 223 00:11:06,101 --> 00:11:08,407 Forgetting myself... and go. 224 00:11:08,451 --> 00:11:10,932 Jill, I really don't want to talk about this. 225 00:11:10,975 --> 00:11:13,064 Especially with you not blinking. 226 00:11:13,108 --> 00:11:14,239 It's freaking me out. 227 00:11:14,283 --> 00:11:16,459 Come on, give me one chance. 228 00:11:16,502 --> 00:11:18,896 Forgetting myself... and go. 229 00:11:18,940 --> 00:11:20,724 I really don't want to do this. 230 00:11:20,768 --> 00:11:22,465 Trust me, it'll make you feel better. 231 00:11:22,508 --> 00:11:23,901 Forgetting myself and go! 232 00:11:23,945 --> 00:11:27,165 Fine. 233 00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:30,255 I can't help thinking I made a mistake with Patrick. 234 00:11:30,299 --> 00:11:31,822 Oh, hell no! 235 00:11:31,866 --> 00:11:34,390 So you think I did the right thing? No, shh! 236 00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,392 My ex-husband's new wife just walked in. 237 00:11:36,435 --> 00:11:38,133 I didn't get a good look. 238 00:11:38,176 --> 00:11:40,918 Tell me if she lost the baby weight. 239 00:11:42,224 --> 00:11:45,531 Wow, is she a professional dancer? 240 00:11:45,575 --> 00:11:49,666 No, she's a professional husband stealer. 241 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,408 Slash highly-regarded anesthesiologist. 242 00:11:54,453 --> 00:11:56,325 CHRISTY: What are we doing? 243 00:11:56,368 --> 00:11:58,370 I can't let her see me.Why? 244 00:11:58,414 --> 00:11:59,763 'Cause she'll think I'm stalking her. 245 00:11:59,807 --> 00:12:01,417 Why would she think that? 246 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,463 'Cause I had a dark six weeks where I totally was. 247 00:12:07,815 --> 00:12:09,642 Mmm. Isn't he cute? 248 00:12:09,686 --> 00:12:10,774 Yeah. 249 00:12:10,818 --> 00:12:13,429 You can name him anything you want. 250 00:12:13,472 --> 00:12:15,387 Have you named one after Steve Miller yet? Look at him. 251 00:12:15,431 --> 00:12:19,652 He's a joker, he's a smoker, he's a midnight toker. 252 00:12:19,696 --> 00:12:21,480 He is adorable, 253 00:12:21,524 --> 00:12:23,787 but I'm pretty well established as a cat person. 254 00:12:23,831 --> 00:12:25,484 Exactly. 255 00:12:25,528 --> 00:12:27,443 Eight cats and you're the crazy cat lady. 256 00:12:27,486 --> 00:12:29,793 Eight cats and one dog, you just love animals. 257 00:12:31,447 --> 00:12:33,623 Who rescued who, am I right? 258 00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:37,409 Did you ask Wendy? She seems lonely. 259 00:12:37,453 --> 00:12:38,454 Yeah, already tried her. 260 00:12:38,497 --> 00:12:39,847 She lives with four other nurses. 261 00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:41,500 It's like a sitcom over there. 262 00:12:43,241 --> 00:12:46,375 [sighs] I wish Adam would just take the dog. 263 00:12:46,418 --> 00:12:48,029 Let me ask you something. 264 00:12:48,072 --> 00:12:50,031 Did you get this dog to make him feel better 265 00:12:50,074 --> 00:12:51,293 or make you feel better? 266 00:12:51,336 --> 00:12:53,512 Aren't those the same thing? 267 00:12:53,556 --> 00:12:55,514 Bonnie, you're gonna have to learn to weather these storms 268 00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:57,865 if you want to be together for the long haul. 269 00:12:57,908 --> 00:12:58,996 But he's the rock. 270 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,129 Well, why can't you be the rock? 271 00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:02,608 Because I'm the river. 272 00:13:04,393 --> 00:13:05,829 The roaring river. 273 00:13:05,873 --> 00:13:08,310 I cut through the rock and make the Grand Canyon, 274 00:13:08,353 --> 00:13:11,748 and people come from miles around to behold me. 275 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,619 Wow. 276 00:13:13,663 --> 00:13:16,535 I knew you wouldn't get it. 277 00:13:16,579 --> 00:13:18,537 Listen, in any relationship, 278 00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:20,713 emotional support has to be a two-way street. 279 00:13:20,757 --> 00:13:24,979 I'm not sure I buy that, but someone's tail is wagging. 280 00:13:27,285 --> 00:13:32,638 [high-pitched]: "Oh, teach me how to love, Marjorie." 281 00:13:32,682 --> 00:13:33,814 Nothing? 282 00:13:33,857 --> 00:13:35,728 [scoffs] 283 00:13:35,772 --> 00:13:39,471 You don't want to live with her. She's the crazy cat lady. 284 00:13:41,430 --> 00:13:43,519 Look at her, shopping for scarves 285 00:13:43,562 --> 00:13:45,477 like she's queen of the world. 286 00:13:47,044 --> 00:13:48,872 Oh, here comes the hat show. 287 00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:54,443 Hey, maybe she's shopping 'cause she's miserable, like me. 288 00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:57,620 Oh, that'd be great. Go find out. 289 00:13:57,663 --> 00:14:00,231 What? I don't even know her. 290 00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:03,626 Look, you do this for me, and I'll take you to that... 291 00:14:03,669 --> 00:14:05,410 [groans]: Old Navy. 292 00:14:08,152 --> 00:14:09,719 Wait here. 293 00:14:16,813 --> 00:14:18,771 That's a lovely hat. 294 00:14:18,815 --> 00:14:20,948 You really think I can pull off this color? 295 00:14:20,991 --> 00:14:23,385 Mm, pretty sure you could pull off anything. 296 00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:24,516 Thank you. 297 00:14:34,222 --> 00:14:36,572 Ugh. 298 00:14:36,615 --> 00:14:38,574 Don't need another one of these. 299 00:14:46,582 --> 00:14:49,846 Hi. Me again. 300 00:14:51,717 --> 00:14:53,154 Ugh. 301 00:14:53,197 --> 00:14:56,592 So, uh, you shopping for a special occasion? 302 00:14:56,635 --> 00:14:58,681 Anniversary dinner. Three years. 303 00:14:58,724 --> 00:15:00,030 Oh. 304 00:15:00,074 --> 00:15:03,468 Ah, I remember my third anniversary. 305 00:15:03,512 --> 00:15:06,036 That's when you realize what you're really married to. 306 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,559 Not for us. 307 00:15:07,603 --> 00:15:10,475 My friends get sick of hearing this, but we are so happy. 308 00:15:10,519 --> 00:15:11,999 It's like we just started dating. 309 00:15:12,042 --> 00:15:14,915 Oh, that's sweet. 310 00:15:14,958 --> 00:15:18,483 But, uh, having a baby, that's like R.I.P. sex life. 311 00:15:18,527 --> 00:15:20,572 Oh, no, we are fine in that department. 312 00:15:20,616 --> 00:15:22,705 Your husband sounds perfect. 313 00:15:22,748 --> 00:15:24,707 Oh, no, he is not perfect. 314 00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,665 Really? In what way? 315 00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:28,798 He sends me too many flowers. 316 00:15:28,841 --> 00:15:30,713 Of course he does. 317 00:15:31,844 --> 00:15:33,498 Anyway, it was nice meeting you. 318 00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:34,499 You, too. 319 00:15:34,543 --> 00:15:36,284 Bye, Penelope. 320 00:15:36,327 --> 00:15:38,982 Uh, I didn't tell you my daughter's name. 321 00:15:39,026 --> 00:15:41,680 Yes, you did. 322 00:15:41,724 --> 00:15:43,726 No, I didn't. 323 00:15:43,769 --> 00:15:45,946 You're tired. 324 00:15:45,989 --> 00:15:48,209 You're probably right. 325 00:15:48,252 --> 00:15:49,775 [chuckles]: Bye. Bye. 326 00:15:54,258 --> 00:15:56,695 [sobbing] 327 00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:59,350 [sniffling] 328 00:15:59,394 --> 00:16:02,832 Do you think maybe I should drive? 329 00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:05,530 Oh, for God's sakes, Christy, I can drive and cry. 330 00:16:05,574 --> 00:16:08,098 I do it all the time! 331 00:16:08,142 --> 00:16:11,188 Can we at least keep a foot between us and that truck? 332 00:16:11,232 --> 00:16:14,931 It's got all those symbols for explodey stuff. 333 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,672 [clears throat] 334 00:16:16,715 --> 00:16:19,544 I'm sorry I ruined our shopping vacay. 335 00:16:19,588 --> 00:16:21,590 Let's talk about you and Patrick. 336 00:16:21,633 --> 00:16:23,548 No, I'm fine. 337 00:16:23,592 --> 00:16:26,029 I mean it, Christy. Get my mind off me. 338 00:16:26,073 --> 00:16:27,596 Jill, I'd rather... 339 00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:31,600 Talk about Patrick! Forgetting myself and go! 340 00:16:31,643 --> 00:16:33,123 Okay. 341 00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:35,125 Uh... 342 00:16:35,169 --> 00:16:38,476 I guess I'm worried I'm just afraid to be happy. 343 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:41,262 I mean, is it so crazy to pick up my life 344 00:16:41,305 --> 00:16:43,264 and see where it goes in Santa Cruz? 345 00:16:43,307 --> 00:16:46,876 They have law schools there. They have meetings. 346 00:16:46,919 --> 00:16:50,271 When I met James, I picked up my whole life 347 00:16:50,314 --> 00:16:53,143 and moved from Charleston to California just to be with him. 348 00:16:53,187 --> 00:16:54,492 Really? 349 00:16:54,536 --> 00:16:58,105 You know what kind of culture shock that is? 350 00:16:58,148 --> 00:17:01,238 I had to lose my accent just to fit in with y'all. 351 00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:06,461 And it was worth it. 352 00:17:06,504 --> 00:17:09,638 And I'm not even willing to move three hours from here 353 00:17:09,681 --> 00:17:11,814 to a lovely seaside community. 354 00:17:11,857 --> 00:17:14,817 Where my mother doesn't live. 355 00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:16,949 What is wrong with me? 356 00:17:16,993 --> 00:17:19,300 I loved James so much, I would've moved to the moon 357 00:17:19,343 --> 00:17:20,997 if he asked me to. 358 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,913 And I wouldn't. 359 00:17:25,393 --> 00:17:28,657 Maybe I don't love Patrick. 360 00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:31,964 Sweetie, I think if you have to ask the question, 361 00:17:32,008 --> 00:17:33,357 then you don't. 362 00:17:33,401 --> 00:17:36,534 But I really feel like I should. 363 00:17:36,578 --> 00:17:40,364 Just because he's a thousand times better than anybody else 364 00:17:40,408 --> 00:17:43,019 you've ever dated doesn't mean he's the one. 365 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,240 Huh. 366 00:17:46,283 --> 00:17:49,373 I know that running into your ex's wife ripped your guts out, 367 00:17:49,417 --> 00:17:51,767 but, boy, did it help me. 368 00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:53,812 You're welcome. 369 00:17:56,641 --> 00:17:58,165 [sniffles] 370 00:17:58,208 --> 00:18:02,125 Oh! And here come your outlet stores. 371 00:18:02,169 --> 00:18:05,389 Mm, there's even a Der Wienerschnitzel. 372 00:18:05,433 --> 00:18:07,435 Yay! Der Wienerschnitzel! 373 00:18:10,699 --> 00:18:12,657 Now, this show has some nudity, 374 00:18:12,701 --> 00:18:14,485 but nothing you didn't already see 375 00:18:14,529 --> 00:18:17,184 when you barged in on me taking a shower. 376 00:18:17,227 --> 00:18:18,446 [knock on door] 377 00:18:18,489 --> 00:18:21,405 Oh. You stay here, I'll get the door. 378 00:18:25,409 --> 00:18:26,454 Hey, don't change the channel. 379 00:18:30,327 --> 00:18:31,676 Oh. 380 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,983 Hey. Hey. 381 00:18:34,026 --> 00:18:35,332 What brings you by? 382 00:18:35,376 --> 00:18:37,943 Well, what always brings me by after we fight: 383 00:18:37,987 --> 00:18:39,467 I'm caving. 384 00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:42,948 Well, let me put the puppy in his crate, 385 00:18:42,992 --> 00:18:44,950 so you don't have to look at him. 386 00:18:44,994 --> 00:18:47,866 Bonnie, it's okay. 387 00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:52,349 I know I haven't been easy to be around, and I'm sorry. 388 00:18:52,393 --> 00:18:54,525 I'm sorry, too. 389 00:18:54,569 --> 00:18:57,789 I shouldn't have tried to tell you how you're supposed to feel 390 00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:59,878 or when you should be done feeling it. 391 00:18:59,922 --> 00:19:03,273 If you need to be the raging river, I can be the rock. 392 00:19:03,317 --> 00:19:05,536 Lucky for you, I only go full river 393 00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:07,408 about once every ten years. 394 00:19:08,409 --> 00:19:10,454 Last time was when Derek Jeter retired 395 00:19:10,498 --> 00:19:12,456 and they had that commercial where he was 396 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:16,591 walking through the streets of New York. 397 00:19:16,634 --> 00:19:18,636 [voice breaks]: The last hero. 398 00:19:20,464 --> 00:19:22,074 I think he likes you. 399 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,339 [sighs]: Oh. 400 00:19:25,382 --> 00:19:26,905 What's his name? 401 00:19:26,949 --> 00:19:29,343 Well, up until this point, his name has been "No," 402 00:19:29,386 --> 00:19:31,606 sometimes "Damn it," and occasionally "Not on the rug." 403 00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,913 Do you like any of those names? 404 00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:38,613 Hmm? I didn't think so. 405 00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:41,268 How about... Gus? 406 00:19:41,311 --> 00:19:43,531 Does this mean you're keeping him? 407 00:19:43,574 --> 00:19:45,620 I think it means I'm stuck with both of you. 408 00:19:52,409 --> 00:19:53,497 How 'bout we call him Sebastian? 409 00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:55,020 I already named him Gus. 410 00:19:55,064 --> 00:19:57,588 Butterscotch?Gus. 411 00:19:57,632 --> 00:20:00,200 Bon Jovi? 412 00:20:00,243 --> 00:20:01,549 Gus. 413 00:20:01,592 --> 00:20:03,246 We'll talk about it later. 414 00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:05,857 Oh! 415 00:20:05,901 --> 00:20:07,903 Who's the best boy? 416 00:20:07,946 --> 00:20:09,905 You're the best boy. 417 00:20:09,948 --> 00:20:11,733 Did you like your puppy chow? 418 00:20:11,776 --> 00:20:13,822 Was it too dry? 419 00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:15,650 Was it too wet? 420 00:20:15,693 --> 00:20:18,043 Or was it just right? 421 00:20:18,087 --> 00:20:20,916 [baby talking] 422 00:20:20,959 --> 00:20:24,659 Oh, I could snuggle with you all day, but it's time for walkies. 423 00:20:24,702 --> 00:20:25,921 Now, it's wet outside, 424 00:20:25,964 --> 00:20:29,403 so Mommy's gonna put on your raincoat. 425 00:20:29,446 --> 00:20:32,797 I know you don't like it, but it's what's good for you. 426 00:20:32,841 --> 00:20:36,584 And that's my job, to take care of you. 427 00:20:36,627 --> 00:20:39,413 Oh! [baby talking] 428 00:20:39,456 --> 00:20:42,372 I just love you so much. 429 00:20:43,678 --> 00:20:46,115 So you had it in you all along! 430 00:20:46,158 --> 00:20:47,943 Captioning sponsored by CBS 431 00:20:47,986 --> 00:20:51,599 and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 432 00:20:51,642 --> 00:20:53,818 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 31071

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