Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,437 --> 00:00:04,048
Hi, Jill, alcoholic.OTHERS: Hi, Jill.
2
00:00:04,092 --> 00:00:05,354
Things are good.
3
00:00:05,397 --> 00:00:06,877
I got my 30-day
chip yesterday.
4
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,270
Some of y'all
weren't there,
5
00:00:08,313 --> 00:00:10,402
so I thought I'd give you
a chance to applaud.
6
00:00:13,318 --> 00:00:15,668
Oh, come on!
Carla got more applause
7
00:00:15,712 --> 00:00:17,322
for not sleeping with
her brother-in-law.
8
00:00:19,716 --> 00:00:21,109
Better.
9
00:00:22,806 --> 00:00:25,113
Anyway, my only complaint is,
now that I'm a newcomer again,
10
00:00:25,156 --> 00:00:27,332
I'm not supposed to date
for a year.
11
00:00:27,376 --> 00:00:29,987
I mean, the Lamborghini's
gassed up and fully detailed,
12
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:32,555
but Marjorie won't let me
take it out of the garage.
13
00:00:32,598 --> 00:00:34,296
Give it time.
14
00:00:34,339 --> 00:00:37,690
Vroom-vroom, Marjorie!
Vroom-vroom!
15
00:00:37,734 --> 00:00:40,389
That's all I got.
16
00:00:41,955 --> 00:00:44,306
Hi, Bonnie, alcoholic.OTHERS: Hi, Bonnie.
17
00:00:44,349 --> 00:00:46,438
Some of you may recall
my recent share
18
00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:49,137
about my fiancé's
17-year-old dog
19
00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:50,616
crossing over
the rainbow bridge.
20
00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:52,357
I wasn't here.
What happened?
21
00:00:52,401 --> 00:00:54,055
Dog went gay?
22
00:00:54,098 --> 00:00:56,100
He died.
23
00:00:56,144 --> 00:00:57,536
Aw.
24
00:00:57,580 --> 00:01:01,236
Yes "aw," total "aw,"
justified "aw."
25
00:01:01,279 --> 00:01:03,412
Thankfully, Samson died
peacefully in his sleep
26
00:01:03,455 --> 00:01:05,370
with a big ol' pork chop
in his belly.
27
00:01:05,414 --> 00:01:08,460
God knows
that's how I want to go.
28
00:01:08,504 --> 00:01:10,723
The problem is,
that was three weeks ago,
29
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:12,595
and Adam is still devastated.
30
00:01:12,638 --> 00:01:16,512
I am relatively new to this--
what's it called, empathy?
31
00:01:18,253 --> 00:01:21,212
But shouldn't he be through
the five stages of grief by now?
32
00:01:21,256 --> 00:01:23,606
He's not shaving or showering;
he's wearing the same sweatshirt
33
00:01:23,649 --> 00:01:25,129
because it smells like his dog,
34
00:01:25,173 --> 00:01:27,436
which means my fiancé
smells like a dog.
35
00:01:27,479 --> 00:01:31,266
I mean, I want to continue
supporting him, but... [sighs]
36
00:01:31,309 --> 00:01:33,833
So I will say to you
what I can't say to him.
37
00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:36,488
All dogs go to heaven.
Move on!
38
00:01:36,532 --> 00:01:39,665
Thanks.
39
00:01:39,709 --> 00:01:42,146
Hi, Christy, alcoholic.
40
00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:44,366
OTHERS:
Hi, Christy.
41
00:01:44,409 --> 00:01:47,282
So, I've been having
some trouble with my boyfriend.
42
00:01:47,325 --> 00:01:50,415
Oh, no.
They're my Kate and William.
43
00:01:50,459 --> 00:01:52,896
His birthday weekend
didn't go well,
44
00:01:52,939 --> 00:01:55,681
so I've been
overthinking everything.
45
00:01:55,725 --> 00:01:58,162
He texted me "How ya doin'?"
46
00:01:58,206 --> 00:02:00,991
and I panicked
and sent him an emoji of a cow.
47
00:02:01,034 --> 00:02:02,645
I have no idea what it meant.
48
00:02:04,212 --> 00:02:06,257
Tonight, he wants to Skype,
49
00:02:06,301 --> 00:02:10,435
and I don't know whether it's
a sexy Skype or a breakup Skype.
50
00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:13,221
I mean, what do I wear?
51
00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:17,790
I don't want to be sitting there
in my nipple-less bra when...
52
00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:19,444
he dumps me.
53
00:02:19,488 --> 00:02:22,491
Oh, honey.
54
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,536
[sobbing]:
Oh, God!
55
00:02:29,454 --> 00:02:32,414
This is empathy, right?
56
00:02:32,457 --> 00:02:34,459
♪
57
00:02:52,651 --> 00:02:54,610
Hey, honey.
58
00:02:55,872 --> 00:02:56,916
Excuse me.
59
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,049
Are you my fiancé's son?
60
00:02:59,092 --> 00:03:01,834
Because I'm having
some forbidden feelings.
61
00:03:01,878 --> 00:03:04,010
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I showered and shaved.
62
00:03:04,054 --> 00:03:05,882
Clean hair, clean teeth,
clean underwear.
63
00:03:05,925 --> 00:03:07,013
[sighs]
64
00:03:07,057 --> 00:03:08,798
Wait, what's that I smell?
65
00:03:08,841 --> 00:03:12,976
[sniffs]
Mmm. It's nothing!
66
00:03:13,019 --> 00:03:17,459
I think I'm ready to wash
the dog bowls and put them away.
67
00:03:17,502 --> 00:03:20,592
Progress. Awesome, I love it.
Why don't you let me do it.
68
00:03:20,636 --> 00:03:22,899
You go watch some TV
and just relax.
69
00:03:22,942 --> 00:03:24,074
Thanks, babe.
70
00:03:25,684 --> 00:03:27,904
Hey, I was thinking maybe later
we could go out for dinner.
71
00:03:27,947 --> 00:03:29,122
We could go to that place
72
00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:30,602
where they flip the shrimp
in your mouth.
73
00:03:30,646 --> 00:03:32,213
Yeah, I like that place.
74
00:03:32,256 --> 00:03:34,258
Remember when I caught one
in my cleavage?
75
00:03:34,302 --> 00:03:36,869
Ah, everybody enjoyed that.
76
00:03:40,873 --> 00:03:43,224
[clanking]
77
00:03:45,530 --> 00:03:48,054
This one's got to soak.
78
00:03:48,098 --> 00:03:50,143
MAN [over TV]:
He's more than a dog.
79
00:03:50,187 --> 00:03:52,145
He's your best friend.
80
00:03:52,189 --> 00:03:54,060
[dog barks]
81
00:03:54,104 --> 00:03:56,933
What are you watching?
What are you watching?
82
00:03:56,976 --> 00:03:58,935
Ah, it's just a
stupid commercial.
83
00:03:58,978 --> 00:04:00,937
["Best Friend" by Harry Nilsson
playing over TV]
84
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:04,810
[sighs] They're best friends.
They grew up together.
85
00:04:04,854 --> 00:04:08,858
[voice breaks]: But now he's
too old to jump in the truck.
86
00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:10,903
[sighs]
87
00:04:14,037 --> 00:04:15,212
Hey.
88
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:16,996
CHRISTY:
Hey.
89
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,781
Well, I'm not spending
the night at Adam's.
90
00:04:18,824 --> 00:04:21,958
Weepy Sue is back
with a vengeance.
91
00:04:22,001 --> 00:04:25,178
I swear I've had all the sadness
I can take for a lifetime.
92
00:04:25,222 --> 00:04:26,963
[crying softly]
93
00:04:29,052 --> 00:04:30,880
[crying softly]
94
00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:51,944
[wails]:
Oh!
95
00:04:51,988 --> 00:04:55,034
[sighs]
96
00:04:55,078 --> 00:04:57,689
Oh, no. What happened?
97
00:04:59,387 --> 00:05:03,913
It wasn't sexy Skype.
It was breakup Skype.
98
00:05:03,956 --> 00:05:05,871
Oh, honey.
99
00:05:05,915 --> 00:05:08,004
I'm sorry.
100
00:05:08,047 --> 00:05:09,701
At least you dressed
appropriately.
101
00:05:11,747 --> 00:05:13,792
I was ready for both.
102
00:05:13,836 --> 00:05:15,881
Oh, that's pretty.
103
00:05:15,925 --> 00:05:17,318
Thanks. It's new.
104
00:05:19,972 --> 00:05:23,149
[sighs] What did Patrick say?
105
00:05:23,193 --> 00:05:25,717
He asked me to go live with him.
[sniffles]
106
00:05:25,761 --> 00:05:27,719
He said he would
take care of me,
107
00:05:27,763 --> 00:05:29,634
that I wouldn't
have to work so much.
108
00:05:29,678 --> 00:05:31,593
That way, we could
spend more time together.
109
00:05:31,636 --> 00:05:34,247
But I said no,
so he broke up with me.
110
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,032
Okay.
111
00:05:36,075 --> 00:05:38,469
Why the hell would you say no?
112
00:05:38,513 --> 00:05:41,472
I can't move three hours away.
113
00:05:41,516 --> 00:05:43,256
I have a life here.
114
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,346
Ish.
115
00:05:45,389 --> 00:05:49,611
Look, it may not be
a great life, but it is a life.
116
00:05:49,654 --> 00:05:52,744
I'm not ready
to just give all that up.
117
00:05:52,788 --> 00:05:56,531
Well, I support you
no matter what, sweetie.
118
00:05:56,574 --> 00:05:59,011
Thanks, Mom.
119
00:05:59,055 --> 00:06:00,535
How 'bout I make you some tea,
120
00:06:00,578 --> 00:06:03,538
and you go watch some TV
and-and get your mind off it.
121
00:06:03,581 --> 00:06:05,583
I'd like that.
122
00:06:08,325 --> 00:06:10,849
[sighs]
What are you doing to me?
123
00:06:13,461 --> 00:06:17,595
WOMAN [over TV]:
We now return to Love Actually.
124
00:06:17,639 --> 00:06:19,684
Nope.
125
00:06:23,471 --> 00:06:25,690
So how's Adam doing?Not great.
126
00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:28,563
Last night, I made him hot dogs
and he burst into tears.
127
00:06:28,606 --> 00:06:31,174
I mean, that is
a whisper-thin connection.
128
00:06:31,217 --> 00:06:33,437
Bonnie, everybody takes
a different amount of time
129
00:06:33,481 --> 00:06:34,656
to process grief.
130
00:06:34,699 --> 00:06:36,745
I know the guy's hurting,
and I love him,
131
00:06:36,788 --> 00:06:40,009
but sweet mother of pearl,
this is hard.
132
00:06:40,052 --> 00:06:42,664
I give him tissues, I hold him,
I make him soup.
133
00:06:42,707 --> 00:06:44,970
And what is the deal
with sad people and soup?
134
00:06:45,014 --> 00:06:46,624
He can't get enough soup.
135
00:06:46,668 --> 00:06:48,626
It's too depressing
when animals die.
136
00:06:48,670 --> 00:06:50,628
It's why I couldn't
become a vet.
137
00:06:50,672 --> 00:06:53,544
And yet you became
an emergency room nurse.
138
00:06:53,588 --> 00:06:55,546
What's your point?
139
00:06:55,590 --> 00:06:59,550
I think it's sexy when a man's
in touch with his emotions.
140
00:06:59,594 --> 00:07:03,336
Victor cried when my
calico Janis Joplin died.
141
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:07,776
We made love with the
lights on that night.
142
00:07:10,039 --> 00:07:11,736
Oh, look!
143
00:07:11,780 --> 00:07:13,216
Christy's here.
144
00:07:13,259 --> 00:07:14,696
Hey!
145
00:07:14,739 --> 00:07:16,349
Hey, guys.
146
00:07:16,393 --> 00:07:17,873
I'm so sorry, Christy.
147
00:07:17,916 --> 00:07:20,136
I really thought you and Patrick
were gonna make it.
148
00:07:20,179 --> 00:07:21,790
Thanks, Wendy.
149
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:24,793
At least it was a healthy end
to a healthy relationship.
150
00:07:28,013 --> 00:07:31,190
[voice breaks]: Healthiest
relationship I've ever had.
151
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,932
Did he actually use the words
"I'll take care of you"?
152
00:07:33,976 --> 00:07:35,891
He did.What's wrong with you?!
153
00:07:35,934 --> 00:07:37,153
I don't know!
154
00:07:38,981 --> 00:07:40,765
You know what, Christy,
I have got just the thing
155
00:07:40,809 --> 00:07:42,245
to take your mind
off your troubles.
156
00:07:42,288 --> 00:07:45,988
Jill, again, I don't want
to steam my vagina.
157
00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:49,295
Okay, you didn't
give that a chance.
158
00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:53,561
But what I'm thinking is
we go to San Francisco
159
00:07:53,604 --> 00:07:56,477
and shop until that hole in
your heart is full with Gucci.
160
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,522
That is so kind, but...
161
00:07:58,566 --> 00:07:59,828
Christy, you have always
been there for me.
162
00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:01,090
Let me do this for you.
163
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,092
Well...
164
00:08:03,135 --> 00:08:05,268
I have always
wanted to know
165
00:08:05,311 --> 00:08:08,314
what it feels like to just
throw money at a problem.
166
00:08:08,358 --> 00:08:13,058
Trust me, it'll get you all
tingly like a steamed vagina.
167
00:08:13,102 --> 00:08:16,758
[singsongy]: Ooh,
we're going shopping!
168
00:08:16,801 --> 00:08:18,150
No, just Christy.
169
00:08:18,194 --> 00:08:20,283
She's the one who's upset.
170
00:08:20,326 --> 00:08:24,853
I don't know if you've heard,
but my fiancé's dog just died.
171
00:08:26,158 --> 00:08:29,074
[sportscast playing quietly
over TV]
172
00:08:30,336 --> 00:08:34,253
Aw, there you are,
right where I left you.
173
00:08:34,297 --> 00:08:36,299
Hey.
174
00:08:36,342 --> 00:08:38,693
I've heard one way
to raise a man's spirits
175
00:08:38,736 --> 00:08:41,783
is to bring a third party
into the relationship.
176
00:08:41,826 --> 00:08:45,569
I'm not in the mood for--
Is it Louise from Trader Joe's?
177
00:08:47,615 --> 00:08:49,486
Close.
178
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,794
[singsongy]:
It's a puppy!
179
00:08:54,709 --> 00:08:57,276
And he's from
the Third Street Shelter.
180
00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,017
Bonnie, what are you doing?
181
00:08:59,061 --> 00:09:01,150
I'm trying to hand
you an adorable puppy
182
00:09:01,193 --> 00:09:02,847
that will make you happy.
You're welcome.
183
00:09:02,891 --> 00:09:05,763
I-I'm not,
I'm not gonna take him.
184
00:09:05,807 --> 00:09:07,243
But, honey, he's
got puppy breath
185
00:09:07,286 --> 00:09:09,462
and he wants you to
be his new daddy.
186
00:09:11,508 --> 00:09:13,510
Look, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,
187
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,512
but I-I'm not ready
for another dog.
188
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,079
Why not? You've got
those clean bowls.
189
00:09:17,122 --> 00:09:18,471
You're halfway there.
190
00:09:18,515 --> 00:09:19,995
I'm still grieving over Samson.
191
00:09:20,038 --> 00:09:21,779
It's only been
a couple of weeks.
192
00:09:21,823 --> 00:09:23,041
23 days.
193
00:09:23,085 --> 00:09:25,783
Bonnie, listen to me.
194
00:09:25,827 --> 00:09:29,831
I know to you I only lost a dog,
but to me, I lost a friend
195
00:09:29,874 --> 00:09:32,616
that got me through
the roughest time in my life.
196
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:34,444
Well, you're gonna
have more rough times.
197
00:09:34,487 --> 00:09:37,708
I mean, you are
marrying me.
198
00:09:37,752 --> 00:09:40,232
And maybe this little
fella can help.
199
00:09:40,276 --> 00:09:42,321
I mean, I got stuck
behind a garbage truck
200
00:09:42,365 --> 00:09:43,975
on my way over here,
narrow street,
201
00:09:44,019 --> 00:09:46,325
no way to get around him,
and I glance over,
202
00:09:46,369 --> 00:09:49,894
and this guy is giving me
a very encouraging look.
203
00:09:55,117 --> 00:09:56,901
Made a difference.
204
00:09:56,945 --> 00:09:59,469
Just flipped a switch
right in here.
205
00:09:59,512 --> 00:10:04,082
Take the dog and-and just go.
206
00:10:04,126 --> 00:10:05,736
Are you serious?
207
00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:08,434
Yeah.
208
00:10:08,478 --> 00:10:09,566
Fine.
209
00:10:18,357 --> 00:10:21,360
I asked you to do one thing.
210
00:10:31,327 --> 00:10:33,677
This'll make you
forget about Patrick.
211
00:10:33,721 --> 00:10:36,637
This'll make you forget
you didn't get into law school.
212
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:39,204
This'll make you
forget you live with your mom.
213
00:10:39,248 --> 00:10:40,945
Okay, if we're gonna
list all my problems,
214
00:10:40,989 --> 00:10:44,427
we're gonna run
out of dresses.
215
00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:47,038
Uh, these are
too expensive.
216
00:10:47,082 --> 00:10:49,388
I got to tell you, Jill,
I really appreciate this,
217
00:10:49,432 --> 00:10:52,217
but I'm just so much more
comfortable at an outlet mall.
218
00:10:52,261 --> 00:10:54,219
Outlet mall?
219
00:10:54,263 --> 00:10:58,223
Can't heal a sad person
with sad clothes.
220
00:10:58,267 --> 00:11:00,225
Nothing's gonna heal me.
221
00:11:00,269 --> 00:11:03,228
Why don't you try
talking about it?
222
00:11:03,272 --> 00:11:06,057
You know, I took
an online class in listening.
223
00:11:06,101 --> 00:11:08,407
Forgetting myself... and go.
224
00:11:08,451 --> 00:11:10,932
Jill, I really don't
want to talk about this.
225
00:11:10,975 --> 00:11:13,064
Especially with
you not blinking.
226
00:11:13,108 --> 00:11:14,239
It's freaking me out.
227
00:11:14,283 --> 00:11:16,459
Come on, give me one chance.
228
00:11:16,502 --> 00:11:18,896
Forgetting myself... and go.
229
00:11:18,940 --> 00:11:20,724
I really don't
want to do this.
230
00:11:20,768 --> 00:11:22,465
Trust me,
it'll make you feel better.
231
00:11:22,508 --> 00:11:23,901
Forgetting myself and go!
232
00:11:23,945 --> 00:11:27,165
Fine.
233
00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:30,255
I can't help thinking I made
a mistake with Patrick.
234
00:11:30,299 --> 00:11:31,822
Oh, hell no!
235
00:11:31,866 --> 00:11:34,390
So you think I did
the right thing?
No, shh!
236
00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:36,392
My ex-husband's new wife
just walked in.
237
00:11:36,435 --> 00:11:38,133
I didn't get a good look.
238
00:11:38,176 --> 00:11:40,918
Tell me if she lost
the baby weight.
239
00:11:42,224 --> 00:11:45,531
Wow, is she a
professional dancer?
240
00:11:45,575 --> 00:11:49,666
No, she's a professional
husband stealer.
241
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,408
Slash highly-regarded
anesthesiologist.
242
00:11:54,453 --> 00:11:56,325
CHRISTY:
What are we doing?
243
00:11:56,368 --> 00:11:58,370
I can't let her see me.Why?
244
00:11:58,414 --> 00:11:59,763
'Cause she'll think
I'm stalking her.
245
00:11:59,807 --> 00:12:01,417
Why would she think that?
246
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,463
'Cause I had a dark six
weeks where I totally was.
247
00:12:07,815 --> 00:12:09,642
Mmm. Isn't he cute?
248
00:12:09,686 --> 00:12:10,774
Yeah.
249
00:12:10,818 --> 00:12:13,429
You can name him
anything you want.
250
00:12:13,472 --> 00:12:15,387
Have you named one after
Steve Miller yet? Look at him.
251
00:12:15,431 --> 00:12:19,652
He's a joker, he's a smoker,
he's a midnight toker.
252
00:12:19,696 --> 00:12:21,480
He is adorable,
253
00:12:21,524 --> 00:12:23,787
but I'm pretty well established
as a cat person.
254
00:12:23,831 --> 00:12:25,484
Exactly.
255
00:12:25,528 --> 00:12:27,443
Eight cats and you're
the crazy cat lady.
256
00:12:27,486 --> 00:12:29,793
Eight cats and one dog,
you just love animals.
257
00:12:31,447 --> 00:12:33,623
Who rescued who,
am I right?
258
00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:37,409
Did you ask Wendy?
She seems lonely.
259
00:12:37,453 --> 00:12:38,454
Yeah, already tried her.
260
00:12:38,497 --> 00:12:39,847
She lives with
four other nurses.
261
00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:41,500
It's like a sitcom
over there.
262
00:12:43,241 --> 00:12:46,375
[sighs] I wish Adam
would just take the dog.
263
00:12:46,418 --> 00:12:48,029
Let me ask you something.
264
00:12:48,072 --> 00:12:50,031
Did you get this dog
to make him feel better
265
00:12:50,074 --> 00:12:51,293
or make you feel better?
266
00:12:51,336 --> 00:12:53,512
Aren't those
the same thing?
267
00:12:53,556 --> 00:12:55,514
Bonnie, you're gonna have to
learn to weather these storms
268
00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:57,865
if you want to be together
for the long haul.
269
00:12:57,908 --> 00:12:58,996
But he's the rock.
270
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,129
Well, why can't you be the rock?
271
00:13:01,172 --> 00:13:02,608
Because I'm the river.
272
00:13:04,393 --> 00:13:05,829
The roaring river.
273
00:13:05,873 --> 00:13:08,310
I cut through the rock
and make the Grand Canyon,
274
00:13:08,353 --> 00:13:11,748
and people come from
miles around to behold me.
275
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,619
Wow.
276
00:13:13,663 --> 00:13:16,535
I knew you wouldn't get it.
277
00:13:16,579 --> 00:13:18,537
Listen, in any
relationship,
278
00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:20,713
emotional support has
to be a two-way street.
279
00:13:20,757 --> 00:13:24,979
I'm not sure I buy that,
but someone's tail is wagging.
280
00:13:27,285 --> 00:13:32,638
[high-pitched]: "Oh, teach me
how to love, Marjorie."
281
00:13:32,682 --> 00:13:33,814
Nothing?
282
00:13:33,857 --> 00:13:35,728
[scoffs]
283
00:13:35,772 --> 00:13:39,471
You don't want to live with her.
She's the crazy cat lady.
284
00:13:41,430 --> 00:13:43,519
Look at her,
shopping for scarves
285
00:13:43,562 --> 00:13:45,477
like she's queen
of the world.
286
00:13:47,044 --> 00:13:48,872
Oh, here comes
the hat show.
287
00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:54,443
Hey, maybe she's shopping
'cause she's miserable, like me.
288
00:13:54,486 --> 00:13:57,620
Oh, that'd be great.
Go find out.
289
00:13:57,663 --> 00:14:00,231
What? I don't even know her.
290
00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:03,626
Look, you do this for me,
and I'll take you to that...
291
00:14:03,669 --> 00:14:05,410
[groans]:
Old Navy.
292
00:14:08,152 --> 00:14:09,719
Wait here.
293
00:14:16,813 --> 00:14:18,771
That's a lovely hat.
294
00:14:18,815 --> 00:14:20,948
You really think I can
pull off this color?
295
00:14:20,991 --> 00:14:23,385
Mm, pretty sure you could
pull off anything.
296
00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:24,516
Thank you.
297
00:14:34,222 --> 00:14:36,572
Ugh.
298
00:14:36,615 --> 00:14:38,574
Don't need
another one of these.
299
00:14:46,582 --> 00:14:49,846
Hi. Me again.
300
00:14:51,717 --> 00:14:53,154
Ugh.
301
00:14:53,197 --> 00:14:56,592
So, uh, you shopping
for a special occasion?
302
00:14:56,635 --> 00:14:58,681
Anniversary dinner.
Three years.
303
00:14:58,724 --> 00:15:00,030
Oh.
304
00:15:00,074 --> 00:15:03,468
Ah, I remember my
third anniversary.
305
00:15:03,512 --> 00:15:06,036
That's when you realize what
you're really married to.
306
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,559
Not for us.
307
00:15:07,603 --> 00:15:10,475
My friends get sick of hearing
this, but we are so happy.
308
00:15:10,519 --> 00:15:11,999
It's like we just
started dating.
309
00:15:12,042 --> 00:15:14,915
Oh, that's sweet.
310
00:15:14,958 --> 00:15:18,483
But, uh, having a baby,
that's like R.I.P. sex life.
311
00:15:18,527 --> 00:15:20,572
Oh, no, we are fine
in that department.
312
00:15:20,616 --> 00:15:22,705
Your husband
sounds perfect.
313
00:15:22,748 --> 00:15:24,707
Oh, no, he is not perfect.
314
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,665
Really? In what way?
315
00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:28,798
He sends me too many flowers.
316
00:15:28,841 --> 00:15:30,713
Of course he does.
317
00:15:31,844 --> 00:15:33,498
Anyway, it was
nice meeting you.
318
00:15:33,542 --> 00:15:34,499
You, too.
319
00:15:34,543 --> 00:15:36,284
Bye, Penelope.
320
00:15:36,327 --> 00:15:38,982
Uh, I didn't tell you
my daughter's name.
321
00:15:39,026 --> 00:15:41,680
Yes, you did.
322
00:15:41,724 --> 00:15:43,726
No, I didn't.
323
00:15:43,769 --> 00:15:45,946
You're tired.
324
00:15:45,989 --> 00:15:48,209
You're probably right.
325
00:15:48,252 --> 00:15:49,775
[chuckles]:
Bye.
Bye.
326
00:15:54,258 --> 00:15:56,695
[sobbing]
327
00:15:56,739 --> 00:15:59,350
[sniffling]
328
00:15:59,394 --> 00:16:02,832
Do you think maybe
I should drive?
329
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:05,530
Oh, for God's sakes, Christy,
I can drive and cry.
330
00:16:05,574 --> 00:16:08,098
I do it all the time!
331
00:16:08,142 --> 00:16:11,188
Can we at least keep a foot
between us and that truck?
332
00:16:11,232 --> 00:16:14,931
It's got all those symbols
for explodey stuff.
333
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,672
[clears throat]
334
00:16:16,715 --> 00:16:19,544
I'm sorry I ruined
our shopping vacay.
335
00:16:19,588 --> 00:16:21,590
Let's talk about
you and Patrick.
336
00:16:21,633 --> 00:16:23,548
No, I'm fine.
337
00:16:23,592 --> 00:16:26,029
I mean it, Christy.
Get my mind off me.
338
00:16:26,073 --> 00:16:27,596
Jill, I'd rather...
339
00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:31,600
Talk about Patrick!
Forgetting myself and go!
340
00:16:31,643 --> 00:16:33,123
Okay.
341
00:16:33,167 --> 00:16:35,125
Uh...
342
00:16:35,169 --> 00:16:38,476
I guess I'm worried
I'm just afraid to be happy.
343
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:41,262
I mean, is it so crazy
to pick up my life
344
00:16:41,305 --> 00:16:43,264
and see where it goes
in Santa Cruz?
345
00:16:43,307 --> 00:16:46,876
They have law schools there.
They have meetings.
346
00:16:46,919 --> 00:16:50,271
When I met James,
I picked up my whole life
347
00:16:50,314 --> 00:16:53,143
and moved from Charleston to
California just to be with him.
348
00:16:53,187 --> 00:16:54,492
Really?
349
00:16:54,536 --> 00:16:58,105
You know what kind of
culture shock that is?
350
00:16:58,148 --> 00:17:01,238
I had to lose my accent
just to fit in with y'all.
351
00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:06,461
And it was worth it.
352
00:17:06,504 --> 00:17:09,638
And I'm not even willing
to move three hours from here
353
00:17:09,681 --> 00:17:11,814
to a lovely
seaside community.
354
00:17:11,857 --> 00:17:14,817
Where my mother doesn't live.
355
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:16,949
What is wrong with me?
356
00:17:16,993 --> 00:17:19,300
I loved James so much,
I would've moved to the moon
357
00:17:19,343 --> 00:17:20,997
if he asked me to.
358
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,913
And I wouldn't.
359
00:17:25,393 --> 00:17:28,657
Maybe I don't love Patrick.
360
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:31,964
Sweetie, I think if
you have to ask the question,
361
00:17:32,008 --> 00:17:33,357
then you don't.
362
00:17:33,401 --> 00:17:36,534
But I really feel like I should.
363
00:17:36,578 --> 00:17:40,364
Just because he's a thousand
times better than anybody else
364
00:17:40,408 --> 00:17:43,019
you've ever dated
doesn't mean he's the one.
365
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,240
Huh.
366
00:17:46,283 --> 00:17:49,373
I know that running into your
ex's wife ripped your guts out,
367
00:17:49,417 --> 00:17:51,767
but, boy, did it help me.
368
00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:53,812
You're welcome.
369
00:17:56,641 --> 00:17:58,165
[sniffles]
370
00:17:58,208 --> 00:18:02,125
Oh! And here come
your outlet stores.
371
00:18:02,169 --> 00:18:05,389
Mm, there's even a
Der Wienerschnitzel.
372
00:18:05,433 --> 00:18:07,435
Yay! Der Wienerschnitzel!
373
00:18:10,699 --> 00:18:12,657
Now, this show has some nudity,
374
00:18:12,701 --> 00:18:14,485
but nothing
you didn't already see
375
00:18:14,529 --> 00:18:17,184
when you barged in on me
taking a shower.
376
00:18:17,227 --> 00:18:18,446
[knock on door]
377
00:18:18,489 --> 00:18:21,405
Oh. You stay here,
I'll get the door.
378
00:18:25,409 --> 00:18:26,454
Hey, don't change the channel.
379
00:18:30,327 --> 00:18:31,676
Oh.
380
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,983
Hey.
Hey.
381
00:18:34,026 --> 00:18:35,332
What brings you by?
382
00:18:35,376 --> 00:18:37,943
Well, what always brings me by
after we fight:
383
00:18:37,987 --> 00:18:39,467
I'm caving.
384
00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:42,948
Well, let me put
the puppy in his crate,
385
00:18:42,992 --> 00:18:44,950
so you don't
have to look at him.
386
00:18:44,994 --> 00:18:47,866
Bonnie, it's okay.
387
00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:52,349
I know I haven't been easy
to be around, and I'm sorry.
388
00:18:52,393 --> 00:18:54,525
I'm sorry, too.
389
00:18:54,569 --> 00:18:57,789
I shouldn't have tried to tell
you how you're supposed to feel
390
00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:59,878
or when you should be
done feeling it.
391
00:18:59,922 --> 00:19:03,273
If you need to be the raging
river, I can be the rock.
392
00:19:03,317 --> 00:19:05,536
Lucky for you,
I only go full river
393
00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:07,408
about once every ten years.
394
00:19:08,409 --> 00:19:10,454
Last time was when
Derek Jeter retired
395
00:19:10,498 --> 00:19:12,456
and they had that commercial
where he was
396
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:16,591
walking through
the streets of New York.
397
00:19:16,634 --> 00:19:18,636
[voice breaks]:
The last hero.
398
00:19:20,464 --> 00:19:22,074
I think he likes you.
399
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,339
[sighs]:
Oh.
400
00:19:25,382 --> 00:19:26,905
What's his name?
401
00:19:26,949 --> 00:19:29,343
Well, up until this point,
his name has been "No,"
402
00:19:29,386 --> 00:19:31,606
sometimes "Damn it," and
occasionally "Not on the rug."
403
00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,913
Do you like any of those names?
404
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:38,613
Hmm? I didn't think so.
405
00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:41,268
How about... Gus?
406
00:19:41,311 --> 00:19:43,531
Does this mean
you're keeping him?
407
00:19:43,574 --> 00:19:45,620
I think it means
I'm stuck with both of you.
408
00:19:52,409 --> 00:19:53,497
How 'bout we call him
Sebastian?
409
00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:55,020
I already named him Gus.
410
00:19:55,064 --> 00:19:57,588
Butterscotch?Gus.
411
00:19:57,632 --> 00:20:00,200
Bon Jovi?
412
00:20:00,243 --> 00:20:01,549
Gus.
413
00:20:01,592 --> 00:20:03,246
We'll talk about it later.
414
00:20:03,290 --> 00:20:05,857
Oh!
415
00:20:05,901 --> 00:20:07,903
Who's the best boy?
416
00:20:07,946 --> 00:20:09,905
You're the best boy.
417
00:20:09,948 --> 00:20:11,733
Did you like your puppy chow?
418
00:20:11,776 --> 00:20:13,822
Was it too dry?
419
00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:15,650
Was it too wet?
420
00:20:15,693 --> 00:20:18,043
Or was it just right?
421
00:20:18,087 --> 00:20:20,916
[baby talking]
422
00:20:20,959 --> 00:20:24,659
Oh, I could snuggle with you all
day, but it's time for walkies.
423
00:20:24,702 --> 00:20:25,921
Now, it's wet outside,
424
00:20:25,964 --> 00:20:29,403
so Mommy's gonna
put on your raincoat.
425
00:20:29,446 --> 00:20:32,797
I know you don't like it,
but it's what's good for you.
426
00:20:32,841 --> 00:20:36,584
And that's my job,
to take care of you.
427
00:20:36,627 --> 00:20:39,413
Oh! [baby talking]
428
00:20:39,456 --> 00:20:42,372
I just love you so much.
429
00:20:43,678 --> 00:20:46,115
So you had it in you all along!
430
00:20:46,158 --> 00:20:47,943
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
431
00:20:47,986 --> 00:20:51,599
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
432
00:20:51,642 --> 00:20:53,818
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
31071
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.