Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,783 --> 00:00:04,263
♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,299 --> 00:00:07,567
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,602 --> 00:00:11,137
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,172 --> 00:00:14,140
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,175 --> 00:00:17,643
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,679 --> 00:00:20,947
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:20,982 --> 00:00:22,515
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,550 --> 00:00:24,283
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,319 --> 00:00:29,455
♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:32,679
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
11
00:00:34,095 --> 00:00:36,329
(STEWIE CHUCKLES, SQUEALS)
12
00:00:36,364 --> 00:00:37,496
What the hell?
13
00:00:37,532 --> 00:00:40,533
Oh, hey, Brian.
I was sick of waiting my turn
14
00:00:40,568 --> 00:00:42,034
outside the supermarket,
15
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:44,637
so I bought every coin-operated
horse in town.
16
00:00:44,672 --> 00:00:46,239
I assume you're on the unicorn?
17
00:00:46,274 --> 00:00:47,940
You know me well, sir.
18
00:00:47,976 --> 00:00:49,342
Must be a dozen horses here.
19
00:00:49,377 --> 00:00:50,776
How do you possibly have the money
20
00:00:50,812 --> 00:00:52,011
for this type of stuff?
21
00:00:52,046 --> 00:00:54,247
Well, I'll tell you,
but only on one condition.
22
00:00:54,282 --> 00:00:56,482
- Fine. Never mind then.
- Investing!
23
00:00:56,517 --> 00:00:57,883
I invest in the stock market.
24
00:00:57,919 --> 00:00:59,418
The stock market? Ugh.
25
00:00:59,454 --> 00:01:01,420
What do you even know about that stuff?
26
00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:04,323
It's easy... I just follow trends
and invest accordingly.
27
00:01:04,359 --> 00:01:06,525
For instance,
there are more single people
28
00:01:06,561 --> 00:01:07,960
over 50 than ever.
29
00:01:07,996 --> 00:01:10,796
So I'm investing in handguns
and blackout window shades.
30
00:01:10,832 --> 00:01:12,898
They don't want to be part
of society, Brian.
31
00:01:12,934 --> 00:01:14,500
They've made that very clear.
32
00:01:14,535 --> 00:01:15,635
I don't know, Stewie, if you ask me,
33
00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:17,370
the stock market's just a rigged game
34
00:01:17,405 --> 00:01:19,705
where the top one-percent
make out like bandits,
35
00:01:19,741 --> 00:01:21,140
and regular people get hurt.
36
00:01:21,175 --> 00:01:23,042
Are you reading off
a teleprompter right now?
37
00:01:23,077 --> 00:01:25,511
- No.
- (TELEPROMPTER CRACKLES)
38
00:01:25,546 --> 00:01:27,079
The prompter's down. What do we do?
39
00:01:27,115 --> 00:01:28,447
Brian, vamp!
40
00:01:28,483 --> 00:01:31,651
So, great to be in Quahog,
Rhode Island today.
41
00:01:31,686 --> 00:01:33,919
That's why he's the best.
42
00:01:38,126 --> 00:01:40,793
Our top story,
an austere monetary policy
43
00:01:40,828 --> 00:01:43,129
has the European Union
on the brink of collapse,
44
00:01:43,164 --> 00:01:45,064
threatening the entire global economy.
45
00:01:45,099 --> 00:01:48,167
And for viewers making
less than $40,000 a year,
46
00:01:48,202 --> 00:01:51,637
your top story is a big
UFC fight this Saturday.
47
00:01:51,673 --> 00:01:53,439
Wow, I can't wait to see that fight!
48
00:01:53,474 --> 00:01:55,341
Me and the guys are gonna
watch it at the Clam.
49
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,610
Peter, we have dinner
with my parents that night.
50
00:01:57,645 --> 00:02:00,346
It's my mom's birthday.
You have to be there.
51
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,181
Lois, if you let me out of this,
52
00:02:02,216 --> 00:02:04,583
I will go to Meg's
ballet recital in your place.
53
00:02:04,619 --> 00:02:05,885
Deal.
54
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,887
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
55
00:02:07,922 --> 00:02:09,922
♪ ♪
56
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,959
PETER: I did not go to the recital.
57
00:02:17,031 --> 00:02:19,231
Whew, what a day.
58
00:02:19,267 --> 00:02:21,901
I asked Ms. Watson if she has
any kids of her own.
59
00:02:21,936 --> 00:02:24,770
Immediately put me in a time-out.
60
00:02:24,806 --> 00:02:26,706
What the hell?!
61
00:02:26,741 --> 00:02:28,574
Ay, díos mio!
62
00:02:28,609 --> 00:02:30,142
Oh, great. Course it's one of them.
63
00:02:30,178 --> 00:02:31,977
- What?!
- Stewie, adults are allowed
64
00:02:32,013 --> 00:02:34,313
to say racist things because of traffic.
65
00:02:34,349 --> 00:02:37,216
Oh, my poor '98 Toyota Corolla.
66
00:02:37,251 --> 00:02:40,119
We all have '98 Toyota Corolla.
67
00:02:40,154 --> 00:02:42,722
- Qué?
- I allowed to say racist things
68
00:02:42,757 --> 00:02:44,790
because of traffic.
69
00:02:44,826 --> 00:02:46,659
Well, don't get so angry.
Just tell your insurance
70
00:02:46,694 --> 00:02:48,027
what happened and then they'll...
71
00:02:48,062 --> 00:02:50,096
Oh, you're driving away because
you don't have insurance.
72
00:02:50,131 --> 00:02:53,733
This sucks. Fixing the bumper
is gonna cost at least a grand.
73
00:02:53,768 --> 00:02:55,134
Tell you what, give me a hundred bucks
74
00:02:55,169 --> 00:02:57,370
to put in the stock market,
and I'll take care of it.
75
00:02:57,405 --> 00:02:58,405
The market?
76
00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,839
Brian, you won't lose your money.
77
00:02:59,874 --> 00:03:00,940
I promise.
78
00:03:00,975 --> 00:03:02,641
(SIGHS) All right, fine.
79
00:03:02,677 --> 00:03:05,444
Guess I'm not the first person
to cave into family pressure.
80
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,246
Like Stephen Baldwin.
81
00:03:07,281 --> 00:03:09,582
Why aren't you a bloated alcoholic yet?
82
00:03:09,617 --> 00:03:11,984
I'm sorry, Ma!
83
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,393
What the hell?
84
00:03:20,428 --> 00:03:23,396
Jerome, what are you doing?
The fight's tonight!
85
00:03:23,431 --> 00:03:25,598
Sorry, fellas, I just got a call.
86
00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:27,066
My mom had a stroke.
87
00:03:27,101 --> 00:03:29,135
I've got to go back
to Long Island to see her.
88
00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:30,536
Hey, a Mets fan, huh?
89
00:03:30,571 --> 00:03:32,171
No, no, Joe, now is not the time
90
00:03:32,206 --> 00:03:34,140
to use your new conversation techniques.
91
00:03:34,175 --> 00:03:36,876
I love her so much. Look at her.
92
00:03:36,911 --> 00:03:39,345
So beautiful.
93
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:41,013
And there's no one to take care of her,
94
00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:43,549
so, unfortunately,
I'll be gone for a while.
95
00:03:43,584 --> 00:03:45,651
I got to close this place for a month.
96
00:03:45,686 --> 00:03:47,787
- A month?!
- I wish it was February.
97
00:03:47,822 --> 00:03:50,289
'Cause, you know,
that's the shortest month.
98
00:03:50,324 --> 00:03:52,291
Nice one, Joe. You're on the board.
99
00:03:52,326 --> 00:03:54,460
Look, I don't want to
close the place either.
100
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,162
But I don't have anyone to run it.
101
00:03:56,197 --> 00:03:58,597
Really? Well, uh, you know,
102
00:03:58,633 --> 00:04:00,232
we know this place better than anyone.
103
00:04:00,268 --> 00:04:01,867
- What if we run it for you?
- Yeah!
104
00:04:01,903 --> 00:04:03,969
- That's a great idea!
- B-story!
105
00:04:04,005 --> 00:04:07,106
Wow, you fellas would really
watch this place for me?
106
00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:09,408
Are you kidding?
Running a bar is my dream!
107
00:04:09,444 --> 00:04:11,744
Well, that and waking up a rooster.
108
00:04:17,218 --> 00:04:18,984
- Dah!
- (SQUAWKS LOUDLY)
109
00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:20,886
Enjoy the rest of your Saturday.
110
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,193
Hey, Brian, I need to talk to you
111
00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:28,961
about that money I invested for you.
112
00:04:28,996 --> 00:04:30,930
I knew it. You lost it all, didn't you?
113
00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:32,364
God, I never should have
given you my money.
114
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,301
The stock market is a sucker's
bet, like chasing your tail.
115
00:04:35,336 --> 00:04:38,003
God, it's right there,
and yet a million miles away.
116
00:04:38,039 --> 00:04:39,505
What are the physics of that?!
117
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:42,274
I didn't lose your money, Brian.
Quite the contrary.
118
00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,310
Here's a thousand to fix your car.
119
00:04:44,345 --> 00:04:45,845
And here's a thousand profit.
120
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,346
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
121
00:04:47,381 --> 00:04:49,849
You made $2,000 in a couple days?
122
00:04:49,884 --> 00:04:51,550
- Yep.
- Oh, my God.
123
00:04:51,586 --> 00:04:53,452
You got to teach me how to invest.
124
00:04:53,488 --> 00:04:56,021
Okay, but I can see this is
going to be a lot of work.
125
00:04:56,057 --> 00:04:59,625
So in return, you must teach me Gymkata:
126
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:02,461
the fusion of gymnastics and karate.
127
00:05:02,497 --> 00:05:05,931
No, Stewie, I won't do that.
It's too dangerous.
128
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:08,434
I swore I'd never teach Gymkata again.
129
00:05:08,469 --> 00:05:10,970
Brian, there's a 22-year-old
Mongolian heiress
130
00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:12,805
who's being held captive
in a mountain fortress
131
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,673
that happens to have
a pommel horse in it.
132
00:05:14,709 --> 00:05:16,342
There's no other way.
133
00:05:16,377 --> 00:05:18,344
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
134
00:05:18,379 --> 00:05:20,379
♪ ♪
135
00:05:27,388 --> 00:05:28,721
(NINJAS SHOUTING)
136
00:05:42,403 --> 00:05:44,870
Okay, I'm back. Ready to invest?
137
00:05:44,905 --> 00:05:46,438
Why are you still wearing that unitard?
138
00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:48,607
Can't get it off
'cause my hog's too big.
139
00:05:48,642 --> 00:05:50,175
Well, here, let me help you get it off.
140
00:05:50,211 --> 00:05:53,412
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I pooped. I pooped.
141
00:05:59,307 --> 00:06:01,307
(SPEAKING JAPANESE):
142
00:06:08,316 --> 00:06:09,549
What's going on with Nikkei?
143
00:06:15,056 --> 00:06:16,422
- What are you up to?
- Are you kidding?
144
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:17,724
I've been looking at stocks all morning.
145
00:06:17,759 --> 00:06:19,459
I'm already up five percent on the day.
146
00:06:19,494 --> 00:06:22,061
Wow, good for you.
You're really taking to this.
147
00:06:22,097 --> 00:06:23,930
I wish I'd brought you in
on this earlier.
148
00:06:23,965 --> 00:06:26,065
Together, we're going to make a fortune.
149
00:06:26,101 --> 00:06:27,800
Well, now, hold on, Stewie.
I'm not some run-of-the-mill
150
00:06:27,836 --> 00:06:30,270
Wall Street scumbag only
in this for the profits.
151
00:06:30,305 --> 00:06:32,772
For every dollar I make, one goes to me,
152
00:06:32,807 --> 00:06:34,507
and one goes to charity.
153
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:36,442
I'm gonna rent a Ferrari
and cruise the pier.
154
00:06:36,478 --> 00:06:37,911
You want in?
155
00:06:37,946 --> 00:06:40,780
Well, cancer's not going anywhere.
156
00:06:40,815 --> 00:06:42,882
I'm sorry, Billy,
you're one dollar short
157
00:06:42,918 --> 00:06:44,984
of being able to afford
the surgery you need.
158
00:06:45,020 --> 00:06:46,953
- STEWIE: Yeah!
- BRIAN: Money!
159
00:06:46,988 --> 00:06:49,289
Sweet. I know those guys.
160
00:06:52,327 --> 00:06:55,161
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
161
00:06:55,196 --> 00:06:58,131
Wow, look at us, running the Clam.
162
00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:00,833
Joe, why are you dressed like that?
163
00:07:00,869 --> 00:07:02,168
'Cause I'm a mixologist.
164
00:07:02,203 --> 00:07:04,137
Oh, cool. What can you make?
165
00:07:04,172 --> 00:07:05,772
You name it, I can make it.
166
00:07:05,807 --> 00:07:07,340
Could I get an old-fashioned?
167
00:07:07,375 --> 00:07:09,943
Classic. Rum and Coke, coming right up.
168
00:07:09,978 --> 00:07:11,544
And could I get a Moscow mule?
169
00:07:11,579 --> 00:07:14,514
Rum and Coke for my comrade.
170
00:07:14,549 --> 00:07:17,283
- I'll have a whiskey...
- Rum...
171
00:07:17,319 --> 00:07:19,552
- sour.
- Coke. Coming right up.
172
00:07:19,587 --> 00:07:22,922
- Could I get a rum and Coke?
- Uh, Pepsi okay?
173
00:07:27,362 --> 00:07:29,062
Brian, I've got great news.
174
00:07:29,097 --> 00:07:30,430
We're going for a ride in the car?!
175
00:07:30,465 --> 00:07:32,799
No, our portfolio's up 30%.
176
00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:35,535
In fact, we're so successful
now, we have to make
177
00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:37,837
one of those sappy
investment commercials.
178
00:07:37,872 --> 00:07:41,240
BRIAN: Thanks to my investments,
I've watched my money grow.
179
00:07:41,276 --> 00:07:43,009
And my little girl.
180
00:07:43,044 --> 00:07:44,444
STEWIE: Dad?
181
00:07:44,479 --> 00:07:47,213
Thanks for making my big day possible.
182
00:07:47,248 --> 00:07:49,983
Don't thank me. Thank Fidelity.
183
00:07:50,018 --> 00:07:51,617
Okay, I'm ready to marry you now.
184
00:07:51,653 --> 00:07:53,453
Wait, what? No, I'm your dad.
185
00:07:53,488 --> 00:07:55,621
Yes, you are. This is what's happening.
186
00:07:55,657 --> 00:07:57,256
ANNOUNCER: Fidelity: We're there for you
187
00:07:57,292 --> 00:07:59,692
when your baby marries his dog-dad.
188
00:08:02,731 --> 00:08:04,764
Stewie, why'd you bring me
all the way out here?
189
00:08:04,799 --> 00:08:06,566
Now that we're eccentric rich guys,
190
00:08:06,601 --> 00:08:09,802
we're going to go down 20,000
feet and pants James Cameron
191
00:08:09,838 --> 00:08:11,871
while he's excavating the Titanic.
192
00:08:11,906 --> 00:08:14,540
(SONAR ECHOING)
193
00:08:16,611 --> 00:08:17,910
(CHUCKLING): There he is.
194
00:08:17,946 --> 00:08:19,379
This is gonna be so great.
195
00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:31,024
(MUTED SCREAM)
196
00:08:47,909 --> 00:08:50,510
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
197
00:08:50,545 --> 00:08:52,412
Wow, business has really picked up.
198
00:08:52,447 --> 00:08:56,049
I think it's because of the
trivia night Quagmire started.
199
00:08:56,084 --> 00:08:57,316
Here we go, next question.
200
00:08:57,352 --> 00:08:58,885
And remember, no phones, people.
201
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,787
Playing an honest game, no phones.
202
00:09:00,822 --> 00:09:02,221
Okay, "In what country..."
203
00:09:02,257 --> 00:09:04,257
No phones, I'm seeing phones.
204
00:09:04,292 --> 00:09:06,159
"In what country..." No phones.
205
00:09:06,194 --> 00:09:08,061
I've been pretty cool about this so far,
206
00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:09,429
it's a gentlemen's game.
207
00:09:09,464 --> 00:09:11,998
"In what country can you find
the monuments called..."
208
00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:13,499
I see phones. I see... all right,
209
00:09:13,535 --> 00:09:14,967
you know what, that's it,
trivia night over!
210
00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:16,936
Three cotton-picking weeks,
211
00:09:16,971 --> 00:09:18,571
and no one's gotten
a single answer wrong.
212
00:09:18,606 --> 00:09:19,772
Everyone's like, "Hey, settle down",
213
00:09:19,808 --> 00:09:20,907
we're not using our phones."
214
00:09:20,942 --> 00:09:23,142
I see you using your damn phones!
215
00:09:23,178 --> 00:09:25,144
Just... just give me my shift drink!
216
00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:27,080
CLEVELAND: Technically,
you got to finish the game
217
00:09:27,115 --> 00:09:29,649
before you get your drink.
218
00:09:32,887 --> 00:09:37,056
(INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY)
219
00:09:37,092 --> 00:09:39,092
"In which country..."
220
00:09:39,127 --> 00:09:41,194
And you know,
I think some people may be here
221
00:09:41,229 --> 00:09:42,695
because of me.
222
00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:45,531
I spread the word about
my sweet playlist.
223
00:09:45,567 --> 00:09:49,001
This is just a bunch of covers
of "Life Is A Highway."
224
00:09:49,037 --> 00:09:50,703
Yeah.
225
00:09:50,738 --> 00:09:52,138
Joe...
226
00:09:52,173 --> 00:09:54,273
you did a really great job.
227
00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:55,475
Thanks.
228
00:09:55,510 --> 00:09:57,076
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
229
00:09:57,112 --> 00:09:58,978
♪ Life is a highway ♪
230
00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:00,580
♪ I want to... ♪
231
00:10:00,615 --> 00:10:02,982
(BLEEP), we went to the wrong place.
232
00:10:03,017 --> 00:10:04,784
Hey, guys, I had a great idea.
233
00:10:04,819 --> 00:10:06,686
You know how people love
mechanical bulls?
234
00:10:06,721 --> 00:10:09,755
Well, I got something even better!
235
00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:11,390
(BULL SNORTS)
236
00:10:11,426 --> 00:10:12,558
A real bull?
237
00:10:12,594 --> 00:10:14,727
If that thing gets mad,
it'll destroy the bar!
238
00:10:14,762 --> 00:10:16,162
Yeah, right. How can it get mad
239
00:10:16,197 --> 00:10:18,698
when I cinched its balls with my belt?
240
00:10:18,733 --> 00:10:21,501
See, it loves it here.
It's even picking out a song.
241
00:10:21,536 --> 00:10:24,804
♪ Life is a highway... ♪
242
00:10:24,839 --> 00:10:28,040
Excellent choice. You know,
not to tell tales out of school,
243
00:10:28,076 --> 00:10:31,377
but I sucked my first jug to this song.
244
00:10:31,412 --> 00:10:33,613
♪ If you are going my way ♪
245
00:10:33,648 --> 00:10:36,149
♪ I want to drive it ♪
246
00:10:36,184 --> 00:10:37,717
♪ All night long ♪
247
00:10:39,787 --> 00:10:43,089
♪ Life is a highway ♪
248
00:10:43,124 --> 00:10:45,424
♪ I want to ride it ♪
249
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,627
♪ All night long ♪
250
00:10:47,662 --> 00:10:50,163
♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah ♪
251
00:10:50,198 --> 00:10:52,899
♪ If you are going my way ♪
252
00:10:52,934 --> 00:10:54,700
♪ I want to drive it ♪
253
00:10:54,736 --> 00:10:58,704
♪ All night long... ♪
254
00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:02,208
Edgar, do you know anything about this?
255
00:11:02,243 --> 00:11:03,609
What? N-No.
256
00:11:03,645 --> 00:11:04,744
Edgar?
257
00:11:04,779 --> 00:11:08,080
I was at Stanley Kaplan
preparing for the A.C.T.
258
00:11:08,116 --> 00:11:09,982
Well, then I am sanguine.
259
00:11:10,018 --> 00:11:11,150
Huh?
260
00:11:11,186 --> 00:11:12,919
Aha!
261
00:11:16,457 --> 00:11:18,257
(MOANS)
262
00:11:18,293 --> 00:11:19,926
Guys, wake up.
263
00:11:19,961 --> 00:11:21,761
Oh, man, the bull kicked our asses.
264
00:11:21,796 --> 00:11:23,196
And totally trashed the bar.
265
00:11:23,231 --> 00:11:24,297
(GIRL SCREAMING)
266
00:11:24,332 --> 00:11:25,831
What the hell is that?
267
00:11:25,867 --> 00:11:27,333
Oh, that's my ringtone.
268
00:11:27,368 --> 00:11:29,468
It's from Game of Thrones
when Stannis's daughter
269
00:11:29,504 --> 00:11:31,037
is burned alive at the stake.
270
00:11:31,072 --> 00:11:33,472
No way. It's from when Arya
and that other tiny girl
271
00:11:33,508 --> 00:11:34,740
fight to the death.
272
00:11:34,776 --> 00:11:36,742
Nah, that scream
is from the Red Wedding.
273
00:11:36,778 --> 00:11:40,479
It's the sound of a mama being
stabbed right in the baby.
274
00:11:40,515 --> 00:11:41,948
Hey, Jerome.
275
00:11:41,983 --> 00:11:43,149
Hey, Peter.
276
00:11:43,184 --> 00:11:44,817
I have some bad news.
277
00:11:44,852 --> 00:11:46,319
My mama...
278
00:11:46,354 --> 00:11:47,720
(SNIFFLES, CRIES)
279
00:11:47,755 --> 00:11:48,955
she's dead.
280
00:11:48,990 --> 00:11:50,256
Aw, man, that sucks, Lois.
281
00:11:50,291 --> 00:11:51,924
Your friend is probably just jealous.
282
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,226
Peter.
283
00:11:53,261 --> 00:11:54,594
There's nothing left for me here,
284
00:11:54,629 --> 00:11:56,429
so I'm coming home tomorrow. (SNIFFLES)
285
00:11:56,464 --> 00:11:59,966
That painting's all I got
to remember her by.
286
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:02,101
You take good care of it, Peter.
287
00:12:02,136 --> 00:12:04,303
It's my prized possession.
288
00:12:08,543 --> 00:12:10,676
JEROME: I'll see you tomorrow.
289
00:12:11,713 --> 00:12:13,179
What are we gonna do?
290
00:12:13,214 --> 00:12:15,615
Yeah. When Jerome sees that
painting, he's gonna kill us.
291
00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,750
Don't worry, guys,
he's got another one over there.
292
00:12:17,785 --> 00:12:19,418
Peter, that's Bruno Mars.
293
00:12:19,454 --> 00:12:20,519
Bruno Mars?
294
00:12:20,555 --> 00:12:21,587
Who's she?
295
00:12:21,623 --> 00:12:22,655
He's a man.
296
00:12:22,690 --> 00:12:23,923
And he's not even black.
297
00:12:23,958 --> 00:12:27,860
He's a beautiful,
mixed-up tomorrow person.
298
00:12:34,335 --> 00:12:35,601
What is this place?
299
00:12:35,637 --> 00:12:37,270
This is what you dragged me
out of the house
300
00:12:37,305 --> 00:12:38,638
first thing in the morning for?
301
00:12:38,673 --> 00:12:40,640
Yeah, it's a great company
I found to invest in.
302
00:12:40,675 --> 00:12:42,375
Korean. They make protein shakes.
303
00:12:42,410 --> 00:12:44,043
The profits are off the charts.
304
00:12:44,078 --> 00:12:45,678
Well, why is it
in the middle of nowhere?
305
00:12:45,713 --> 00:12:47,380
And why are there no windows?
306
00:12:47,415 --> 00:12:49,215
And why is there
a security guard out front?
307
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:50,716
All these questions?
308
00:12:50,752 --> 00:12:53,286
This is why I didn't want to
let you have a soda in the car.
309
00:12:53,321 --> 00:12:54,553
It's not 'cause of the soda.
310
00:12:54,589 --> 00:12:56,489
God.
311
00:13:02,530 --> 00:13:03,663
Something's going on here.
312
00:13:03,698 --> 00:13:05,564
I'm taking a look.
313
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,733
What are you doing?
It's just a protein shake.
314
00:13:07,769 --> 00:13:09,669
And it's the cheapest on the market.
315
00:13:13,374 --> 00:13:16,876
Uh, Brian, I think I know
why it's so cheap.
316
00:13:16,911 --> 00:13:20,279
They're made of dog meat.
317
00:13:20,315 --> 00:13:23,382
Oh, my God, look at
all those poor, sad dogs.
318
00:13:23,418 --> 00:13:27,053
(SLOW VERSION): ♪ Life is a highway ♪
319
00:13:27,088 --> 00:13:32,525
♪ I want to ride it all night long ♪
320
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:36,729
♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah. ♪
321
00:13:36,764 --> 00:13:39,465
They're all in trouble.
Even Rover Dangerfield.
322
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,600
Oh, I tell you, I got to pay
more attention, you know?
323
00:13:41,636 --> 00:13:43,336
When the Korean guy said "shake,"
324
00:13:43,371 --> 00:13:44,570
I thought he meant my paw.
325
00:13:44,605 --> 00:13:46,372
Then he said I was gonna be protein.
326
00:13:46,407 --> 00:13:48,341
I said, "Damn right, I'm very pro-teen",
327
00:13:48,376 --> 00:13:49,742
I'm dating a 16-year-old."
328
00:13:49,777 --> 00:13:52,211
Oh, boy, I tell you,
I came in this place a purebred.
329
00:13:52,246 --> 00:13:53,679
Now I'm leaving it a purée.
330
00:13:53,715 --> 00:13:54,847
(GRUMBLES)
331
00:13:54,882 --> 00:13:57,083
No respect, no respect at all.
332
00:13:57,118 --> 00:13:58,484
Brian, let's get out of here.
333
00:13:58,519 --> 00:13:59,719
What do you mean? I'm taking a meeting.
334
00:13:59,754 --> 00:14:01,020
This company's worth a fortune.
335
00:14:01,055 --> 00:14:03,189
What? You still want to invest in this?
336
00:14:03,224 --> 00:14:05,157
- You can't be serious.
- Sorry, Stewie.
337
00:14:05,193 --> 00:14:08,294
Wall Street is a people-eat-dog
world, everyone knows that.
338
00:14:08,329 --> 00:14:09,428
Oh, my God.
339
00:14:09,464 --> 00:14:11,063
Brian, you've turned into a monster.
340
00:14:11,099 --> 00:14:12,264
HERRY MONSTER: Hey!
341
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:14,500
That's offensive
to the monster community.
342
00:14:14,535 --> 00:14:16,001
Yeah, some of us are nice.
343
00:14:16,037 --> 00:14:17,336
Yeah, real nice.
344
00:14:17,372 --> 00:14:20,072
Weren't you charged with
sexually abusing a 16-year-old?
345
00:14:20,108 --> 00:14:21,807
Elmo's accuser recanted
346
00:14:21,843 --> 00:14:24,410
and admitted the relationship
was consensual.
347
00:14:24,445 --> 00:14:26,412
Yeah, but wasn't there another
case that was only thrown out
348
00:14:26,447 --> 00:14:28,614
because the statute
of limitations had expired?
349
00:14:28,649 --> 00:14:30,649
Elmo no comment.
350
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:33,919
Cookie!
351
00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:35,287
(CHUCKLING): He wants a cookie.
352
00:14:35,323 --> 00:14:36,722
Oh, I love the Muppets.
353
00:14:41,805 --> 00:14:44,238
I can't believe you still want
to invest in this.
354
00:14:44,273 --> 00:14:45,573
They use dog meat.
355
00:14:45,608 --> 00:14:48,075
How can you condone
the eating of other dogs?
356
00:14:48,111 --> 00:14:49,744
Oh, come on, Stewie, it's their way.
357
00:14:49,779 --> 00:14:51,679
Who are we to judge other cultures?
358
00:14:51,714 --> 00:14:53,614
Look, I'm investing in this company.
359
00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:55,383
And if you're too scared
to do it with me,
360
00:14:55,418 --> 00:14:57,018
then maybe I'm working
with the wrong partner.
361
00:14:57,053 --> 00:14:58,219
What are you talking about?
362
00:14:58,254 --> 00:14:59,820
I'm the one who taught you
how to invest.
363
00:14:59,856 --> 00:15:00,955
You can't ditch me.
364
00:15:00,990 --> 00:15:02,023
Sorry, Stewie.
365
00:15:02,058 --> 00:15:03,991
When I left you, I was but a learner.
366
00:15:04,027 --> 00:15:06,560
Now I am the master.
367
00:15:06,596 --> 00:15:07,795
Hee-ya!
368
00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:10,164
Yeah. No one in Star Wars says "hee-ya."
369
00:15:10,199 --> 00:15:11,499
You know what, Brian, forget it.
370
00:15:11,534 --> 00:15:13,367
We are done. You ruined this.
371
00:15:13,403 --> 00:15:16,270
We were a good team,
like Ricki and the Flash.
372
00:15:16,305 --> 00:15:17,838
I love you, Ricki.
373
00:15:17,874 --> 00:15:20,207
I love you, the Flash.
374
00:15:20,243 --> 00:15:21,842
Stewie, I don't think that's right.
375
00:15:21,878 --> 00:15:23,277
Ah, I didn't see the movie.
376
00:15:23,312 --> 00:15:24,945
Yeah, no, I didn't see it
either, but, yeah, the,
377
00:15:24,981 --> 00:15:27,114
"the Flash" was the name
of her rock band.
378
00:15:27,150 --> 00:15:28,382
Oh, you saw it.
379
00:15:28,418 --> 00:15:29,817
Yeah, I saw it.
380
00:15:29,852 --> 00:15:31,852
So did I.
381
00:15:35,024 --> 00:15:37,358
- This is stupid.
-Come on, guys. We got no choice.
382
00:15:37,393 --> 00:15:39,894
We have to paint that portrait
of Jerome's mother ourselves,
383
00:15:39,929 --> 00:15:41,729
and this is the only class in town.
384
00:15:41,764 --> 00:15:43,397
But aren't these classes
just for lame chicks
385
00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:46,133
who want an excuse to drink together?
386
00:15:46,169 --> 00:15:49,036
(ALL LAUGHING)
387
00:15:49,072 --> 00:15:50,204
I'm having so much fun.
388
00:15:50,239 --> 00:15:51,305
Me, too.
389
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:53,074
This wine is an artist.
390
00:15:53,109 --> 00:15:55,342
And it painted my smile.
391
00:15:55,378 --> 00:15:58,012
(LAUGHS, CRIES)
392
00:15:58,047 --> 00:16:00,881
I don't think Paul
really wants to marry me.
393
00:16:00,917 --> 00:16:02,883
- (WAILS)
- I, uh...
394
00:16:02,919 --> 00:16:05,386
I'm not sure what we're doing now.
395
00:16:11,427 --> 00:16:12,827
Hi, Brian Griffin.
396
00:16:12,862 --> 00:16:16,030
I have an appointment to see
your CEO about an investment.
397
00:16:16,065 --> 00:16:18,432
Ah, yes, we're waiting for you.
398
00:16:18,468 --> 00:16:21,936
Here, breathe deeply
into this investors' rag.
399
00:16:21,971 --> 00:16:24,705
All right. Now, I'm not sure
if I'm saying this right,
400
00:16:24,741 --> 00:16:27,942
but, uh, "Boo. Cocky."
401
00:16:27,977 --> 00:16:29,977
(INHALES)
402
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,082
Can you believe Brian?
403
00:16:35,118 --> 00:16:37,618
Thinking he can fire me
when I'm the one who taught him?
404
00:16:37,653 --> 00:16:38,786
I have had it with him.
405
00:16:38,821 --> 00:16:40,020
Absolutely had it.
406
00:16:40,056 --> 00:16:41,388
He's just so selfish.
407
00:16:41,424 --> 00:16:42,690
He drives me crazy.
408
00:16:42,725 --> 00:16:44,992
I don't know why I put up
with it, I guess...
409
00:16:45,027 --> 00:16:47,995
I guess I just have
a forgiving personality.
410
00:16:48,030 --> 00:16:50,898
But enough about that, I'm
probably starting to bore you.
411
00:16:50,933 --> 00:16:53,801
It's just that whenever
I start talking about Brian,
412
00:16:53,836 --> 00:16:55,336
- I lose all track of time.
- (PHONE VIBRATING)
413
00:16:55,371 --> 00:16:57,138
You would think,
after all these years together,
414
00:16:57,173 --> 00:17:00,107
that I could simply tell myself
enough is enough.
415
00:17:02,145 --> 00:17:04,078
STEWIE: You've reached
Stewie Griffin. Leave a message.
416
00:17:04,113 --> 00:17:06,147
- (LINE BEEPS)
- Hey! Give me that phone.
417
00:17:06,182 --> 00:17:08,249
Stewie, it's Brian, you got
to help me, I'm gonna get ea...
418
00:17:08,284 --> 00:17:10,284
Damn it.
419
00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:13,387
Well, I guess Stewie's my only hope now.
420
00:17:13,422 --> 00:17:15,322
I can't believe I might die like this.
421
00:17:15,358 --> 00:17:18,092
I always thought I'd go
the way all dogs dream about:
422
00:17:18,127 --> 00:17:21,295
slowly, and at great
inconvenience to my owners.
423
00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:22,863
Come on, boy. Here we go.
424
00:17:22,899 --> 00:17:25,366
Here we go. Let's get you
to the living room.
425
00:17:25,401 --> 00:17:26,634
(GRUNTS)
426
00:17:26,669 --> 00:17:28,669
Lois, wrap one of his
"walking to the car" pills
427
00:17:28,704 --> 00:17:30,337
in roast beef and peanut butter.
428
00:17:30,373 --> 00:17:32,339
I'm gonna hold his hips
while he stands confused
429
00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:33,974
in front of the water dish.
430
00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:35,576
Go on, boy. It's right there.
431
00:17:35,611 --> 00:17:37,611
(SNIFFING)
432
00:17:40,817 --> 00:17:42,516
Come on, boy, it's right there.
433
00:17:42,552 --> 00:17:44,051
It's water. You like it.
434
00:17:46,823 --> 00:17:47,955
There you go.
435
00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:49,790
You're doing it yourself.
436
00:17:53,396 --> 00:17:55,196
Oh, God. Jerome's gonna be here
any minute,
437
00:17:55,231 --> 00:17:56,530
and then we're totally screwed.
438
00:17:56,566 --> 00:17:58,799
Well, I guess all we can do now
is the honorable thing:
439
00:17:58,835 --> 00:18:01,802
make realistic puppets
of ourselves to leave in the bar
440
00:18:01,838 --> 00:18:04,004
for Jerome to beat the crap out of.
441
00:18:06,142 --> 00:18:07,975
JEROME: What the hell
happened to my bar?
442
00:18:08,010 --> 00:18:09,476
And my painting!
443
00:18:09,512 --> 00:18:11,345
Well, don't just sit there staring at me
444
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:14,415
with your limp limbs and
your straw-filled aid shirts.
445
00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:17,117
(BLOWS LANDING)
446
00:18:17,153 --> 00:18:18,586
Wow, it's working!
447
00:18:18,621 --> 00:18:19,920
Good plan, Peter.
448
00:18:19,956 --> 00:18:21,388
PUPPET PETER: Thanks, guys.
449
00:18:21,424 --> 00:18:23,624
Oh, no, I left the real me in there.
450
00:18:23,659 --> 00:18:25,726
He's falling for it, guys.
451
00:18:25,761 --> 00:18:27,394
He thinks I'm me.
452
00:18:32,268 --> 00:18:34,201
Come on, Stewie,
check your damn messages.
453
00:18:34,237 --> 00:18:37,338
(DOG WHIMPERING, BARKS)
454
00:18:37,373 --> 00:18:39,340
God, that must be
where they do the deed.
455
00:18:39,375 --> 00:18:42,142
I hope it's at least
peaceful and humane.
456
00:18:43,179 --> 00:18:44,912
GROUP: Vick!
457
00:18:44,947 --> 00:18:46,046
Oh, boy.
458
00:18:46,782 --> 00:18:49,350
GROUP: And Eli Manning!
459
00:18:49,385 --> 00:18:51,252
Aw, I didn't know that
about Eli Manning.
460
00:18:51,287 --> 00:18:53,687
Oh, yeah. I'm a real idiot psychopath.
461
00:18:58,227 --> 00:18:59,360
(CLATTERING)
462
00:18:59,395 --> 00:19:00,594
What was that?
463
00:19:03,232 --> 00:19:04,398
What the...?
464
00:19:06,235 --> 00:19:07,701
Good job, Rupert.
465
00:19:07,737 --> 00:19:09,737
Now let's hope we can find Brian
before it's too late.
466
00:19:09,772 --> 00:19:11,472
BRIAN: Hey, don't touch me, I'm rich!
467
00:19:11,507 --> 00:19:15,242
Ugh, he just makes it
so difficult to be on his side.
468
00:19:17,713 --> 00:19:20,881
Oh, come on, there's got to be
a way we can work this out.
469
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:22,449
Rupert, music!
470
00:19:22,485 --> 00:19:23,550
♪ ♪
471
00:19:23,586 --> 00:19:25,552
♪ Life is a highway ♪
472
00:19:25,588 --> 00:19:29,390
♪ I want to ride it all night long... ♪
473
00:19:29,425 --> 00:19:30,991
Oh, no. He knows Gymkata.
474
00:19:31,027 --> 00:19:32,226
There is no defense.
475
00:19:32,261 --> 00:19:35,462
Everyone, run for safety
over by those uneven bars.
476
00:19:35,498 --> 00:19:36,997
♪ I want to drive it... ♪
477
00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:38,966
Bad idea, buddy.
478
00:19:42,238 --> 00:19:44,405
♪ Life is a highway ♪
479
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:48,075
♪ I want to ride it all night long ♪
480
00:19:49,812 --> 00:19:51,578
♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah ♪
481
00:19:51,614 --> 00:19:53,480
♪ If you're going my way ♪
482
00:19:53,516 --> 00:19:54,748
♪ I want to drive it... ♪
483
00:19:54,784 --> 00:19:57,251
Stewie! Oh, my God, thank you.
484
00:19:58,621 --> 00:19:59,920
I'm so sorry, Stewie.
485
00:19:59,956 --> 00:20:02,022
I guess I just lost my head.
486
00:20:02,058 --> 00:20:03,691
Well, lesson learned, Brian.
487
00:20:03,726 --> 00:20:05,459
Money doesn't buy happiness.
488
00:20:05,494 --> 00:20:06,927
This does:
489
00:20:06,963 --> 00:20:09,296
♪ Life is a highway ♪
490
00:20:09,332 --> 00:20:12,900
♪ I want to ride it all night long ♪
491
00:20:12,935 --> 00:20:15,803
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
492
00:20:15,838 --> 00:20:18,806
♪ If you're going my way ♪
493
00:20:18,841 --> 00:20:23,110
♪ I want to drive it all night long ♪
494
00:20:23,145 --> 00:20:24,378
♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah. ♪
495
00:20:29,338 --> 00:20:32,472
Wow, Stewie. I am so sorry
I became such a jerk.
496
00:20:32,507 --> 00:20:34,774
But I guess I learned my lesson
about the evils of Wall Street.
497
00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:36,109
What are you talking about?
498
00:20:36,144 --> 00:20:37,610
This isn't about Wall Street,
this is about you.
499
00:20:37,646 --> 00:20:38,845
Me?
500
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,280
I've been investing
in the market forever,
501
00:20:40,315 --> 00:20:41,448
and doing just fine.
502
00:20:41,483 --> 00:20:42,682
You did it for one week,
503
00:20:42,718 --> 00:20:44,951
and were literally eating your own kind.
504
00:20:44,986 --> 00:20:46,286
This isn't about Wall Street.
505
00:20:46,321 --> 00:20:47,787
I cannot stress that enough.
506
00:20:47,823 --> 00:20:49,789
Well, money is the root of all evil.
507
00:20:49,825 --> 00:20:51,291
No, it's not. It's just you.
508
00:20:51,326 --> 00:20:53,360
Hello, others, I am the father.
509
00:20:53,395 --> 00:20:54,527
Where is the mother,
510
00:20:54,563 --> 00:20:57,630
and what kind of sex
does she like to have?
511
00:20:57,631 --> 00:21:00,631
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
37379
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
