All language subtitles for Beauty.and.The.Briefcase.2010.DVDRip.XviD.AC3-ViSiON

[pop rock music playing]
♪ Lo-oh-oh-ove

♪ Lo-oh-oh-ove Lo-oh-oh-ove

♪ Love you more, more than ever

♪ So you're shining waiting

♪ And we will wake in the starlight

♪ Girl if you try to
love him any harder oh

(woman)
Nine million guys in New York city,

you'd think there'd be one for
me to date. You'd be wrong.

To start off, most of the good ones
are taken.

Then there's the criminal contention.

Let's go.

The guys with the serious
psychological issues.

The weirdos.

Yeah.

The bastards.

And then the guys in fashion, which
is my world.

They do wonders for my wardrobe,

but they do nothing to help me find
my magic man.

Where is the one?

Hey, Joanne.

Lane. What's up?

WeII, not one guy today.

Not one guy that possesses one
quaIity on my checkIist.

Oh, my God. The checkIist again?

I've toId you. You need to use
my checkIist. It's way more fun.

I know. Can you remind me
what yours is again?

With pIeasure. Item one, breathing.
aIways important in a guy.

And items two through seven, cute.

If onIy Iove was that simpIe.

Come, heIp me.

(Lane)
Joanne is a fashion photographer

who thinks she's my big sister. She
tries to hook me up with cute guys,

but, more importantIy,
she hooked me up with cheap rent.

Ah...

Gotta love it.

Oh, hey, I'm going out tonight,

and his roommate is crazy cute.
You wanna join?

Shh. Not in front of the Cosmo.

Hey!

l'm a writer. Oh, l love the
way that sounds.

Oh, my God. Actually,
everyone loves the way that sounds,

and then they ask me what l write.

So far, it's been articles for my
college paper and a few fashion blogs.

But last month, l wrote a freelance
piece on shoes for 'Her StyIe.'

lt got published in
a National magazine.

Okay, so it's barely a National
magazine, but it's a stepping stone

and they want another story.

Those are nice fIowers. Your birthday?

No. The doorman sends them to me
every Monday

for four years now. Can you bIame him?

She gets flowers and l don't?

So, you wiII be doing the interview
of AIicia McCuIIen, the party pIanner.

Uh, cooI. You know, I was
thinking after that

that maybe I couId do a story
on statement coats, because--

Just do the interview of
the party pIanner.

Yeah. Sure.

So, what is this for again?
ls it 'For Her' magazine or something?

It's actuaIIy 'Her StyIe.'

- Never heard of it.
- You wiII.

After this story, I'm sure
we'II doubIe in circuIation.

FIattery wiII get you everywhere.

Thank you.

So, um, the story that
l wanted to write

is about fashion trends for the eIite.

Oh, weII.

CompIiments of the house.

You never forget, do you?

No, ma'am.

Do they just bring you champagne
when you come here?

My boyfriend Rodrigo took me here
on our first date.

He's friends with the owner

and he expIained to him that
he wanted champagne sent to me

every time I come here so that
I wouId aIways think of him.

That is so romantic.

Mm, I know.

I've aIways dated rich, hot guys,
but this one,

he just Ieaves me breathIess.

I think the most romantic thing he's
ever done is he, uh,

mid-match at WimbIedon,
he bIew me a kiss.

Are you speaking of Rodrigo Navarro,

Iike, the tennis champion?

That's my boyfriend. I know.

(Lane) l know l should
be happy for her.

l mean, just because l can't find my
magic man doesn't mean that--

[singing in Spanish]

[bell dings]

(Lane) You have got to be kidding me.

My beautifuI angel AIicia.

[bell dings]

l've been thinking of you all day.

How wouId you Iike to head down
to St. Barts this weekend?

[bell dings]

I'd Iove to.

Okay, can you stop torturing me?

Did I say that out Ioud? I'm sorry.

[camera clicking]

Okay, that's good.
All right, guys, l want you to,

Iike, Iay back in a warm embrace.
Good.

This shot, it needs to be sexy but
not sexuaI.

And it needs to say ''I Iove you''
but not ''I'm in Iove with you.''

And I want you to be happy.
Not overjoyed.

Okay.

Um, wait. Okay, take five, guys.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You yeIIed
at her in the middIe of a restaurant?

It was not the middIe
of the restaurant, okay?

It was towards the back,
facing a window,

and second of aII,
I didn't yeII at her.

It was-- It was more of a bIurt.

I-I bIurted at her.

I couIdn't heIp it.
She was being serenaded

by her famous tennis-star boyfr--

Her gorgeous, famous,
tennis-star boyfriend

who has a foreign accent, and whisks
her away to exotic pIaces,

and has passion and has the cutest
IittIe dimpIes you have ever seen.

I have to add that onto my checkIist.

Lane. Stop it.

She has Rodrigo, and what do I have?

You have a pitch meeting tomorrow.

At a IittIe magazine caIIed,
um, Cosmo.

What? Cosmo? The greatest--

Magazine of aII time?

Oh, my God. Your friend caIIed you
back? Are you serious?

I'm serious!

Joanne, you're the greatest friend!
Oh, my God!

Hey! I just got a pitch meeting

at Cosmo. Yeah.

(Lane)
So, this is what heaven looks like.

It's a beautifuI buiIding, isn't it?

l love this crosswalk.

lt's taking me towards my future,
towards my dreams,

towards the Cosmo editor who is not
only going to buy one of my stories,

but she's gonna be blown away by--

Whoa. Are you aII right?

(photographer)
All right, just the legs.

Turn Ieft. Let's get the side.

I'm pitching a story to Kate at Cosmo.

ReaIIy?

Hi, I'm Kate White. You must be Lane.

Yeah.

Very nice to meet you.
Won't you foIIow me?

Okay.

How about wearing boyfriend jeans
when you don't have a boyfriend?

I mean, fabuIous or faux pas?

[chuckIes]

WeII, thank you so much
for coming in, Lane.

How about a story on statement coats?
I think this season--

I'm so sorry, Lane.

I Iiked your piece for 'For Her'
magazine and I Iove your enthusiasm,

but unfortunateIy at this time,
we're gonna pass.

What if l just write something
for you on spec and--

I'm so sorry, Lane.
I wish I couId've heIped you.

Me, too. WeII, I guess
I'm gonna rush home

and cuddIe up to
my imaginary boyfriend.

You're preaching to the choir.
I know that feeIing aII too weII.

I doubt that, but thanks for
saying it anyway.

Uh, don't be so sure.

I just got dumped via BBM.

What?

He didn't even have the decency
to emaiI me Iike the Iast guy.

Were you into him?

I mean, he was straight,
he opened doors for me

and didn't Iive with his mother.
I haven't met anybody better since.

My girIfriend and I were
just taIking about that.

I mean, fashion is great,
but there's no databIe guys anywhere.

I haven't even found a guy with
two items on my checkIist.

I have a checkIist, too. Each year
I don't find the man of my dreams,

I take another item off the Iist.

Pretty soon, that Iist is gonna just
be a bIank piece of paper.

And you can't cuddIe up to a gift bag.
I've tried. It's reaIIy uncomfortabIe.

You know what? It's aImost Iike aII
of the eIigibIe guys in the city

are hiding out in offices
downtown or something.

Business schooI wouId've been boring,

but at Ieast by now we
wouId've had some guy--

Wait. There's a story here.

Joining the business worId
to find Iove.

Right! If you're gonna do this,
you're gonna do this aII the way.

(Lane)
Oh, my God. Cosmo wants me.

You're gonna switch careers, you're
going into the worId of business

and you're gonna
take your Iist with you.

Switch careers, bring my Iist.

Once you have a job undercover
in the business worId,

you are gonna find a man that has
every item on that Iist.

The magic man.

It's gonna be a great story.

l'm an undercover journalist.
l'll be like that girl

who pretended to be a Playboy bunny.

You'II be Iike Woodward and Bernstein.

Yes, yes! Or Iike that girI who--

I'm taking a chance on you, Lane,

so I don't want you saying yes unIess
you can reaIIy puII this off.

You have to get a reaI business job
and you have to date men in suits.

Yeah, it'II be my new mantra.

''Men in suits. Men in suits.''

Lane.

Yeah. Sorry.

You can date no one else.

Nobody.

Remember, this is Cosmo.

I know.

[whispers] I know.

(Lane) This story is
going to make Lane Daniels.

l'll work at some
huge investment bank,

meet a gorgeous, suit-wearing guy
and fall madly in love.

l'm writing my first article for
Cosmo. How did l get so lucky?

Lane DanieIs.

Oh. Yes, that's me.

You're Lane DanieIs?

Yeah.

- You have a very impressive resume.
- I know.

l've never understood resumes.

They're just a contest to
see who can lie the most.

FIuent in French, Spanish, German.

Oui. Si. Ja.

And you're proficient
in ExceI and Powerpoint.

Basic business tooIs. Gotta Iove 'em.

Oh, l just wanna kiss the
guy who invented Google.

l wonder if he wears a suit.

WeII, today's interview
is for a support position

in corporate strategic pIanning
at Thompson FuIworth.

WeII, as Iong as it's a businessy-type
job where the guys wear suits.

For a second, I thought you
were serious.

GirI, you had me going.

WeII, you know what they say,

''Humor pIus business makes
for funny business."

GirI, you funny.

Tom Reinhart, Managing Director,

meet Lane DanieIs.

Nice to meet you. PIease, have a seat.

- Is this recycIed paper?
- Yeah.

Very nice. And you are more than
quaIified to be able to work

in corporate strategic pIanning.

Of course. I've worked in aII three.

Her sense of humor.
You'll get used to it.

(Lane) l'm great with interviews.

l do this for a living.
l'm going to wow this guy

with my knowledge
of the business world.

Or maybe just compliment him.
And if l run into any trouble,

I'II just start asking him questions.

And have you used DeaI Reporter?

DeaI Reporter.

The DeaI Reporter?
It's a great question, Tom.

It's such a Managing Director's
question.

That's a great tie.

Now, did you aIways know you wanted
to be in business?

Oh, aIways. How about you?

How about I what?

AIways wanted to go into business?

Oh, of course.

I Iove the way peopIe
Iook aII dressed up.

I think I'm beginning
to get that sense of humor.

I toId you.

I hope the saIary works for you.
We'II start you at 42.

Forty-two thousand?

Yeah, I can Iive with that.

(Lane) Like a queen.

We have a deaI. We'II see you
Monday morning at 8:30.

I can't wait.

Thanks. She'II be great.

Good seeing you, Tom.

That was easy enough.
Hey, thanks for hooking me up.

Uh-uh, not so fast. We stiII need
to get you tested on the software.

Click once to begin. Good luck.

[mouse clicks]

(Lane) So, this is what
Deal Reporter looks like.

This is very bad.

[whispering] Hey. Hey, you've
got to heIp me.

I couId get you free
Laura Merceir sampIes.

[whispering] Can you pIease be quiet?

Hey, you Iike these shoes? Cause I can
teII you where to get them on saIe.

I'm not gonna heIp you cheat.

Oh, she's so helpful.

Oh, that's not right.

[beeping]

Oh, that's not right.
Go back. Go back.

God! You stupid thing. Come on.

Shh!

WeII, how do I go back?

You can't. You either know
this stuff or you don't.

And my guess is you don't.

Somebody has Iow bIood sugar.

Here, have some candy.

I don't eat sugar.

Hmm. [siIent]

[beeping]

l can't fail this test.

[coughing]

Ooh.

[crackles]

Oh.

[people groan]

Oops.

It's too bad about those Iights.
I was naiIing that test.

How about you?

We don't have time to retest you
before Monday,

but you swear that you trained in aII

the financiaI software
we taIked about?

Oh, DeaI Reporter is my middIe name.

AII right.

(women) Yeah!

Thank you guys so much.

I gotta say I'm so nervous
about tomorrow.

I'm waIking into a job at
an investment company. Me.

I mean, I don't know the first
thing about investing.

- Sure you do.
- Yes, she does.

- Yeah, you know fashion, right?
- But what does that have to do--

Well, you know how the spring
coIIection is introduced in the faII

and the best designers know what
is gonna seII months ahead of time?

Yeah. I mean, I've been tracking
those trends for years.

ExactIy. So, you just repIace the
shoes and dresses

with stocks and companies and
it's aII about predicting trends,

what peopIe wanna buy.

Whoa. That's impressive.

That is seIfish, actuaIIy, because
I figure the more I heIp you,

the sooner you become
a big writer for Cosmo,

the more assignments l get.
Let's not forget. AII about me.

But I want it to be aII about me.

Wait a minute. I thought it was
aII about me.

Mm, you're right.
It is, because we got you

a present for your first day.

Get outta here.

We were gonna get you a gorgeous CEO,

but most of them are either in jail
or getting government bailouts, so.

lf you're going to play the part,
you need to look the part.

This is amazing. Are you serious?
Thank you so much.

To our future CEO.

To our future CEO.

[cars honking]

(Lane) All right, Lane.
This is your moment.

Seize it.

(Lane) Oh, my God.

So many men.

And l get my pick.

Men with ties. Men without ties.

Men with ties tossed over their
shoulders. Tall men. Short men.

Men with glasses. Men without glasses.

Men standing, sitting,
walking, running,

bending over to pick things up.
Blind men. Strong men.

Gorgeous men. Two-piece. Three-piece.

ls there a four-piece? Who cares?

So many men in suits!

l just got hired by Cosmo,
the world's greatest magazine,

to go undercover and
date hot men in suits.

Does it get any better than this?

[cell phone rings]

How's it going?

I never understood the phrase
''kid in a candy store'' untiI today.

Lots of men in suits?

Joanne, thank you so
much for setting this up.

Hey, l just made a couple of calls.

You're the one who has
to write the article.

You know, the business worId Iooks
a Iot Iike heaven to me.

Heaven in a tie.

Yum.

Miss DanieIs.

I'II caII you in five.

Ah. Time is money.

Hi, I'm Lane.

Hi, John. I'm part of the team.
You, me and Tom.

Oh. I'm a part of a team?

Yeah, Iike in junior high. BasketbaII.

Except I was kicked off the team.

Anyway, uh, so you're gonna be
handIing Tom's traveI,

caIendar, expenses.

l'm part of a team.
l hope the uniforms are cute.

Paperwork and, uh, profit research
and everything.

Come on, Iet's, uh, go get your I.D.

Great.

If you Iike that I.D.,
you're gonna Iove the cubicIe.

Oh. I get my own cubicIe?

First thing in the morning.
Just give them to Jack.

Hey, Tom. Hey, how's it going?

Fine. How are you?

Great. Everything's great.

You Iook nice.

Thanks. So do you.

Do l recognize that shirt from
the interview?

Uh, no, you recognize
its brother or sister.

lt's the same shirt but
not the exact same.

You see, l have a number of these,

the same but not the same same.

Got it. Different shirt.

Well, it's nice.
l can see why you bought two of them.

ActuaIIy, I bought six.
One for each day of the week and--

And a spare for laundry day.
lt's a great idea.

Let's start the tour.

The department downstairs makes
modeIs that study economic trends.

They tried to forecast--

What peopIe are gonna buy?
Like fashion designers.

Yeah, I guess it is.

A reaIIy great idea.

They're a pretty good department.
Sometimes when we have

concerns after a merger

or a major consoIidation,
these guys make sure

that the company has a reaIIy
easy transition in the next phase.

The past coupIe of years have been
a IittIe crazy. I'm sure-

l've always found it boring
when guys talk about business,

but Tom makes it kind of interesting.

Six shirts all the same. Weird.

And this department
manages our hedge funds.

l nod a lot and act impressed as
l survey the men-in-suits situation.

As unbelievable as it sounds,

the majority of guys here are single.

No photos of families or crayon
drawings from their kids.

And as if it couldn't get any better,

the few women here,
they're not even trying.

So, what do you think?

There are so many men.

That's what they aII say.
But after a whiIe, you hardIy notice.

This is your desk.

Oh! I Iove it!

Okay. WeII, happy birthday.

Oh, this chair is perfect.

My own cubicle. lt's paradise.

Okay, weII, enjoy your chair. I'II be
in my office which is right over here.

Sure.

Why doesn't my chair spin?

Does your chair spin?

- Yes!
- Yep.

[phone rings]

StiII going weII?

Yes. I have a swanky
new cubicIe, Joanne.

I'm on my work phone
being aII businessy.

I'm Iike Anne Hathaway
in The Devil Wears Prada.

l hope my boss isn't evil. But now
all l have to do--

[clears throat]

Is to coIIate and distribute
the documents

and I'II check back in with you.

Here you go.

Thompson & FuIworth has
secret handshakes?

No, they're hand signals.

Our traders use them on the floor
but l adapted them.

You and I can gesture without
having to worry about noise

or using another Iine.
lt's more efficient.

Like, conference call,
l'm leaving the office,

I'II return the caII Iater.

And that means okay.

I'II Iearn these right away.

Okay, this is a Iist of
frequent caIIers.

This group, apoIogize,
I'm in a meeting.

This group, put them into the queue.
And these two,

you put them through right away.

It's the CEO and my mom.

That means I'm on it.

[sighs]

Oh, my God.

What?

More men.

What's good here?

I'm not reaIIy the guy to ask.
I get the same thing every day.

Every day? What is it?

Chicken breast with waInuts
and pIain yogurt.

This meaI boosts neurotransmitters,

baIances Omega acids

and I don't have to waste time
deciding what I want to eat.

WeII, how does it taste?

Let me guess. Efficient.

AII right, smartass. Tour's over.

- Where are you going?
- Back to my office.

I aIways eat up there because--

It's a more efficient
use of your time?

You catch on quick.

[whispers] Okay.

No. No, no!

Oh, God, you stupid-- Come on.

Don't you know what you're supposed
to do when the copier breaks?

[bell dings]

What's that?

Run away.

I'm serious. Otherwise everyone
wiII know you're the Ioser

who couIdn't fix the copier.

Right. And who's the Ioser who
currentIy hoIds that position here?

Danny GoId in Accounting.
Three months running.

But, since you're new, I'II heIp you.

Step aside.

For the record though,
I was never here.

We never met and I have no idea
how to use this thing.

Got it. I'm Lane, by the way.

Hey, Lane. I'm Seth.

l normally don't like guys who know
they're cute,

but Seth's really cute.

This never happened.

I saw nothing. Yum's the word.

[sighs] Mum's the word.
Oh, God. Stupid.

Good morning.

This place is crawling
with potential magic men.

Once they start asking me out,
l can write this article in a week.

Lane, what's this?

A diagram. An office diagram

to show the key empIoyees,
so I can better serve you.

WeII, you're just fuII of surprises,
aren't you?

I doubIe-checked your 8:00 p.m.
reservation. Is Whitney a cIient?

No, she's my girIfriend.
It's Monday night. It's date night.

Hey, Whitney, come here. I want
you to meet my new assistant, Lane.

Eekl Draggy nailsl

PIeasure.

Ugh, bird grab.

Charmed.

Tom, I'm starving.
Can we pIease go now?

Okay, hon.
WeII, I'II see you in the morning.

Okay.

- Night, John.
- Night.

Hi, John.

Weird handshake, huh?

- Did it feeI Iike a predatory bird?
- Yes!

Can't decide if I Iike it or not.

Lane, right? Hi, l'm Eddie.

- Hey, Eddie.
- WeIcome to Thompson & FuIworth.

I was wondering if you couId grab
a drink with me tomorrow night?

- I wouId Iove to.
Great! Maybe we could go to Marriott.

They're drawn to me like moths
to a flame.

l'm the best undercover journalist
in the history of the world.

- Hey, go aIready. It's your turn.
- I know.

I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

Are you thinking or fantasizing?

Okay, Okay. Do you have one
phenomenaIIy tanned six-pack?

I do have one phenomenaIIy
tanned six-pack.

Yes! How about super hot guy
in a toweI?

Go fish.

Okay, do you have a perfectIy
shaped butt?

You know l do.

In your hand.

Oh, I have that, too. Okay, okay,
it's my turn.

Do you have one rocking set of abs?

I do.

Oh, Ian. Now, that's a six-pack
I'd Iike to forget.

- You know who that is?
- Of course.

You can't even see his face.

Don't need to. l remember that body.

Joanne, you work with these hot guys
every day aII day.

How do I get your job?

I don't know how Mr. Six-pack wouId
fare on the checkIist.

She has that checkIist to heIp her
find her souI mate.

Where did this Iist come from?

Every romantic comedy scene
Lane's ever watched.

That's not true.

Okay, it's mostIy true.

I just want to find my magic man.

Magic man. She thinks that a guy
is gonna solve everything.

I don't think it's gonna soIve
everything. I just wanna meet a guy

that, you know, I'm happy to wake
up to every morning

and that makes time drift away.

I want aII of those things.

And if he happens to have a perfect
set of abs, I'II take that, too.

I don't bIame you.

Order one for me.

To butts and abs.

(aII) To butts and abs.

WeIcome to day two, Ab Fab.

Ab Fab?

Yeah, I was just trying out a new
nickname for you. You Iike fashion.

That's a show about fashion, right?

That is so much better than
my college nickname, ''Lame. ''

You ever had a nickname?

Nope.

Lane! Pay attention.

I am.

To me.

Gotcha.

No, that means return the caII.

I know. I know. I knew that.

Working in big business
can be stressful,

but l'm gonna get the hang of it.

Life at the Investment bank is fun.

l get to make my cubicle
beautiful and creative.

[bell dings]

And l get to date a bunch.

[bell dings]

These guys actually have
items on my checklist.

So far, just two or three items each,

but that's two or three more than
in the fashion world.

[bell dings]

My magic man is out there.

l can feel it.

[printer whirring]

(Kate) You've already found eight
guys who could be the one?

l know. Put a man in a
suit and things happen.

Hm, I guess we can safeIy cross
the junior anaIyst off the Iist.

What about that guy Seth?
The one who fixed the copier.

Get him to ask you out.

My editor is so cool. She's forcing
me to flirt with Seth.

Could life get any better?

Hey.

Hey.

Get Seth to ask me out? Watch me work.

How are you?

I'm good. How are you?

What is wrong with this guy?
Take the bait.

Lane.

And here we go.

You're not here to ask me about
the copier, are you?

I don't know anything
about copiers, remember?

Yeah. No, I'm not here to ask you
about the copier.

l bet he's a great kisser.
Sometimes you just know.

Are you not getting your maiI?

'Cause either that new maiI guy
is the Iaziest ever or--

No, my maiI is fine. MaiI's aII good.

Oh, good.

Hey, Lane.

I was wondering if you'd Iike to get
a drink sometime.

I thought you'd never ask.

(Joanne) How is the article going?
Have you started writing?

Mm, I'm stiII in the research phase.

But I have a date with
Seth this Thursday.

I know. I feeI Iike he's gonna
do reaIIy weII on my checkIist.

Good, 'cause you said he
has fashion sense, right?

He does.

Is he spontaneous?
Does he take exotic trips on a whim?

Mm, I don't know, yet.

Does he put passion
above common sense?

Witty statements on
the tip of his tongue?

Sort of, yeah.

Sexy accent?

That wouId be a no. But he
is fearIess in the face of danger.

What happened?

He saved me from the copier.
It was getting out of controI.

The thing was Iike eating my--

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[British accent]
No, it's aII right. It's aII right.

[Iaughs]

Do you have the time?

Beautiful and a sexy accent.

Wait, what did he just ask me?
Oh, the time.

Um, yes, it's 6:42.

Great, then I have just enough time

to Iet you spiII one more drink on me

before my dinner meeting.
What'II it be?

I mean, shouIdn't I be the one buying
you a drink?

No, I'm rather enjoying things
in the current state.

You feeI guiIty for making me Iook
as though I've wet myseIf,

and you've no choice but to sit
here with me tiII I finish my drink.

It's the onIy poIite thing to do.

[bell dings]

Polite or infatuated? You decide.

Okay, well... when you put
it Iike that,

I wiII have another
pomegranate martini.

Two.

So, do you Iadies spiII your drinks
on innocent men for fun

or is it a professionaI sort of thing?

No. ActuaIIy, um, I'm a writer.

Undercover, trying to find the love
of my life.

Named Lane. My name is Lane.
And this--

What if he likes her more than me?

Is my friend who has a boyfriend.

Creep. l'm such a sixth grader.

Who has a boyfriend?
I've never heard that name before.

Oh, yeah, it's been in my
famiIy for generations,

but friends caII me Joanne.

Liam.

Liam, are you in finance?

Oh, no, no, thank God. No,
I used to be a guitarist, but now--

SeriousIy? What band?

No, those days are Iong gone. Now
I sit on the other side of the gIass.

Lane, l'm not leaving this seat

untiI you agree to have dinner with
me next Thursday night.

Dinner? Oh.

I Iove you.

I mean, I'd Iove to.
I-I can't wait. Yes.

WeII, that's great. If I couId just--

Here's her number.

A pIeasure.

Cheers.

Okay, I'm reaIIy sorry about the
whoIe boyfriend thing.

Oh, I wouId have done the
exact same thing.

I thought you had to
date a guy in a suit.

Liam.

Some of the lessons l'm learning for

my article are more
obvious than others.

- I would have to say...
- Like it is impossible

to imagine wearing sexy lingerie
for an accountant.

As Iong as you itemize
your deductions--

Where's the craziest pIace you've
ever had sex?

WeII, one time in coIIege. I did it
on the Iiving room carpet.

Oh.

You know what?
You are way too sexuaI for me.

Oh, excuse me.
Hey, can I ask you for a favor?

Lane.

Tom. How do you Iike what
I've done with the pIace?

Oh, it's quite festive.

I'm gIad you Iike it.

The beads bIock the sight Iine from
my office to the rest of the fIoor.

You know, they are made
from recycIed gIass.

I mean, I know I'm no sandaIs-wearing,
guitar pIaying, tree hugger--

I am.

You are?

Yeah. I mean, we wear shoes here
and I pIay the harmonica.

HoId on. You pIay the harmonica?

I did. StrictIy summer camp thing.

So, to be more accurate,
I guess I am a shoe-wearing,

ex-harmonica-pIaying tree hugger.

I mean, I'm not Mr. Save-the-fuzzy
bunnies or anything.

I just cannot toIerate
wasting resources.

So, you hate bunnies?

I do. I hate them. They infuriate me.

Uh-huh.

Okay, get back to work.
And take down these beads, okay?

Let's get going on these caIIs, Lane.

[sighs] Okay.

Hey, you stiII having
troubIe with your router?

You know, I'm the tech
wizard around here.

Not a bad wizard, but a good one.

John, what are you doing?

What? No, nothing. No, I-I mean,
I'm doing something.

Helping Lane with her--
Her router is broken,

so l was just-- This is my girlfriend,
Margo. She works up in equity ratings.

John has a girlfriend? Go, John.

Hi, Margo.

Hi, Lane. Are you coming to Iunch,
or are you happier down there?

Yes. I mean, no, no,
I'm not happier down here.

I'm coming to--
Oh, sorry. Yeah. No, just caII,

uh, l.T. and they'll fix it.

Yeah, I got it. Thanks for trying.
Margo, uh,

John's aIways taIking about you.

He is?

Yeah. It's kind of disgustingIy
sweet, actuaIIy.

[whispers] Thanks.

Well, that was easy.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Lane, to the pink
contents of that gIass

staying where it ought
rather than on my Iap.

Cheers to that.

You Iook absoIuteIy stunning.

Thank you. You don't Iook so bad
yourseIf, you know.

PIeasure to see you as aIways.
And the IoveIy Iady.

This is Lane.

Lucky you.
He never makes time to date.

You make me sound rather
IoneIy and pathetic.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean--

No, it's aII right.
I come here whenever I'm in New York.

I'm often aIone.

Or with your artists.

Artists?

I produce music.

He runs his own IabeI.

What?

It's nothing.

Can I get you an appetizer?

How about some caIamari?

[bell dings]

That's great.

Okay. So, what kind of music
do you produce?

Oh, no, no, no, Lane.
Let's taIk about you.

I'm sure it's much more interesting.

Okay, but I don't know how
interesting you're gonna--

Nonsense. Who is Lane Daniels?

WeII,

I enjoy Iong waIks on the beach,

kissing under the moonIight,

and the worId of fashion.

What a reIief.

I thought you were
gonna say fun Ioving,

a peopIe person and a dog Iover.

I am a dog Iover.
I've actuaIIy rescued seven,

but l don't like playing games,

and I've been toId a few times
that I'm a first-rate kisser.

I hope you don't hate aII games.

WeII, I onIy induIge in those
invoIving feathers and chocoIate.

I'm gonna have to see if that's
on the dessert menu.

[horns honking]

Do you enjoy Europe?

Oh, I've been desperateIy
wanting to go to Paris

with my friends for New Year's,
but tickets are so pricey.

I Iove Paris. Do you visit often?

WeII, yeah, in my dreams.

You've never been?

Lane, we must remedy this immediateIy.

Let's hop on a pIane tonight.

Yes, yes, yesl

No. I've got work. I can't.

FIimsy excuse.

Sounds Iike you're dashing off to
meet another bIoke.

Oh, he said bloke.

You've busted me. He's actuaIIy
gonna be here in a few minutes.

[Iaughs]

You are breathtaking.

I'II get you a cab.

[phone ringing]

Seth! There is another bloke.

The article. Cosmo.

Sweet dreams.

Thank you.

That's right. Nice.

TiIt your head a IittIe.
Yes, nice, girI.

Rapido. Rapido.

Lane. Hey! Wow, you've been
on a date.

- I was and it was amazing.
- Details.

No, I've got another date
in Iike five minutes.

- You have another date? Where?
- Yes.

Sam's on 6th.

You can't go to Sam's Iike this.

- I know. I need your heIp. Come on.
- Alright.

And ever since then I promised myseIf
I'd never ride another horse again.

I don't bIame you.

WeII, maybe a pony.

There's nothing wrong with Seth,
but he's no Liam.

Do you wanna go for a nightcap?

You know what? I shouIdn't.

I-I have a busy day tomorrow.

Yeah, I understand, but I had a
reaIIy good time tonight, Lane.

Yeah, I did, too.

Thank you so much for dinner.

Let me get you a cab.

Thanks. Okay.

Maybe l'm not the best
undercover journalist after all.

[horns honking]

Seth and the other men around
me have become a faceless blur.

I'II send the cIearance documents
to London right away.

Did somebody say London?
Oh, it's the land of Liam.

Lane.

Lane. Lanel

This is the document
we're sending to Paris.

You don't speak French, do you?

It depends on how you
define ''speak.''

l'm really disappointed in you, Lane.

This would have been disastrous if
l'd sent this out.

I'm sorry.

I've gotta send an emaiI.

So much for Seth being fearless in
the face of danger.

Your resume was riddIed with
exaggerations, Lane.

You don't type 120 words a minute,

you don't have a photographic memory,

and you keep dropping names
off my caII sheet.

Oh, my God. Are you firing me?

l'm giving you a warning.
But l do not tolerate lying.

Now, get back to work.

This is all Liam's fault,

with his sexy accent
and his smile and his lips.

Oh, those lips.

Lane, stop it. He's distracting
me from my work

and completely screwing up my
story for Cosmo.

Oh, can't think straight.

Wait.

l'll change my story.

My story shouldn't be about finding
love in the business world.

l'm not good at business stuff anyway.

My story is going to be about meeting

the perfect guy when you
least expect it.

Because you never know when your
magic man is gonna find you.

It's good, right?

Lane, this is not your college paper.

This is not some crappy blog that
you can write in your pajamas.

And it sure as heII isn't an articIe
on shoes for For Her magazine.

It's Her Style, but that's okay.

Lane, this is a cover story for Cosmo.

A cover story?

Yes, it's a cover story.

l gave you the chance of a lifetime.

So, you are gonna deIiver whether
you Iike it or not.

This piece has absolutely nothing
to do with Liam, so stop seeing him.

This story is about the
business world.

So get your butt back to
Thompson FuIworth and un-quit.

lf you're not good at
the business stuff, get better.

lf you can't find the right guy
in a suit, look harder.

You have two more weeks
to have an article

about finding love in
the business world

on my desk, and it better be great.
Are we cIear?

Yes.

No Liam, get better,
work harder, date often.

Ah! Sorry.

Oh, hey, Lane?

Drinks? Sure. Wednesday,
8:00 to 10:00.

Lane?

Tom.

I was just turning out your,
um, office Iamp.

I Ieft it on? ReaIIy?

It must have sIipped your mind.

Oh, Lane?

I'm on my way.

l finally find my magic man

and l'm not allowed to see him.

Thank you.

Something wrong, Lane?

No, not whiIe I'm with you.

Liam, there's something
I have to teII you.

It's reaIIy difficuIt for me.

See, I'm writing this articIe and--

It wouId be very easy to faII in
Iove with you.

What? ReaIIy?

Yes, reaIIy. You're stunning.
You're funny.

My heart races when I see you.

And that dress you're wearing,
a bIoke doesn't stand a chance.

l know l'm supposed
to date a man in a suit,

but Liam's a man and
he's falling for me.

At any rate, I do have to
protect myseIf

with a woman as beautifuI as you.

I'm afraid I've had
my heart broken before.

Aw. TeII me about it.

No.

Come on, you could teII me.

WeII, we'd been together for years

and, uh, I worshipped her.
I thought she worshipped me.

We'd survived Iong distances, parentaI
disapprovaI, a saiIing accident.

A saiIing accident?

That sounds more dramatic than it was.

The point is, I snuck out earIy one
Sunday morning to buy eggs and caviar.

You know, surprise her with a IittIe
breakfast in bed.

But I was the one Ieft surprised.

Tiptoed in to find onIy a note.
It said,

''I'm done.''

There is so much pain in the world.

l declare my one mission in life,
if it's the last thing l do,

l will heal Liam's wounded heart.

Dessert at your pIace?

We couId.

But I bet my pIace isn't as Iuxurious
as yours.

See, I--

I wish I couId have you over,
but my father's in town.

So, unIess you want to share some warm
chocoIate and creme fraiche with him--

My pIace wiII be fine.

Whoo!

[Iaughing]

ShaII I get some spoons?

We won't be needing any spoons.

This is gonna be great.

Maybe for you.

It's Iike a day at the spa.

Instead of the organic
heaIthy detoxifying seaweed,

you're being wrapped in... pIastic.

WheeI her in.

There you go. Don't trip.

Now, I want you to show off the purse.

I want you to touch it.
It's the Iove of your Iife. Good.

Good morning, Joanne,
and pIastic- wrapped modeIs.

Oh! Somebody Iooks Iike
the cat who ate the canary.

[chuckIes] More Iike the chocoIate.

Were you with Liam?

Yes, I was.
And must say he's pretty skiIIed

in the chocoIate and
Iove-making department.

BeIgian?

No no, he's British.

No, the chocoIate, was it BeIgian?

Who cares? It was deIicious.

But all of those calories.

Oh, don't worry.
We burned them off Iast night.

Okay, wait wait, Lane.

I thought that Kate from Cosmo toId
you to stop seeing Liam.

I have no idea what you're
taIking about.

- Lane?
- Uh-huh!

You know I Iove you, but--

ReIax, it's fine.

What am I gonna do with you?

Just Iove me for who I am.

Aw. [camera clicking]

[chuckIes] Okay.

I want you to stay stiII exactIy
Iike that. You look alright.

Do you know how hot you
Iook right now?

Joanne.

SeriousIy, I want you to Iift up
the purse. Just Iike you Iove it.

Joanne, there's a smaII probIem.

Like it's your Iover and
you're running away together.

Joanne, I have to pee.

AII right, that's a probIem.
WheeI her out.

[horns honking] [whistle blowing]

That's why l'd like to absorb those
losses now. ln two years--

Don't taIk to me about
Iong-term growth.

lf we're gonna take the hit on
these properties,

we're gonna need to compensate by
selling other asses--

Assets. SeII other assets.

Yeah, but-- wow.

l need serious performance from your
division, gentlemen.

This isn't a year to skirt change--

l mean, short change.
l'm a happily married man.

Mr. BeImont?

Lane!

Oh.

Hi there.

I apoIogize for the distraction, sir.

No apoIogy necessary.

[women laughing]

Okay. Look, Liam sounds amazing,
Lane, he does.

But is he worth
risking everything over?

He pIaces passion over common sense.

He has a sexy British accent.

He's spontaneous.
He has great fashion sense.

We Iike the same foods and--

Okay, okay, I admit he does weII on
the checkIist.

Does weII? He's a nine out
of a ten, Joanne.

That's like unheard of.
And the one thing that he's missing,

the crazy public fights
and torrid makeup sex,

I'm thinking about taking that off
the Iist because--

Yeah, Okay. Liam's a nine out of ten.
And l like seeing you happy,

but he's not a man in a suit.
You have to find a man in a suit.

Ew.

What, you don't Iike guys in suits?

No, I ate some of my mask.

This is Iike junior high.
I feeI Iike I'm at a sIeepover.

We need snacks.

We need more wine.

Mm, Iet's go to that store downstairs.

I can't go there, remember? I had the
thing with the cashier. Remember?

Oh, my God . Okay, we'II go.

Say hi for me though. He's hot.

Oh, Lane, l don't feel so good.

What?

Do I Iook green to you?

Oh, I forgot
the ice cream and SprinkIes.

Trying on a new faII coIor, Ab Fab?

Ab Fab?

Tom? What are you doing here?

I was just shooting
hoops down the street,

and I heard they were having
a speciaI on green goo.

Out of the office, he looks different.

Just buying some snacks.

Take a waIk on the wiId side.

Oh, no no no. I don't--

l know, l know, there's no protein
and neurotransmitters.

But this stuff is utterIy deIicious.

See, it's the deIicious part
that makes me uncomfortabIe.

Right.

And what army are you about to poison?

WeII, I just have a coupIe of--

I actuaIIy have a Iot of friends over.

WeII, I wiII not stand in your way.

lt's not a problem. By the way,
today in the conference room-

Don't worry about it. I mean,

it took a bit to get Mr. BeImont's
concentration back,

but it was the highIight
of the meeting.

I-I'II see you in the morning.

Okay, sounds good.

That's Tom, your boss?

Yeah, can you beIieve it?

He's cute.

What are you talking about?
He has a girlfriend.

A boss Iike that,
now I am green with envy.

Shut up.

[phone rings]

Hey, Lane. Do I Iook okay?

Yeah, sure big meeting?

Big Iunch with Margo's parents.

Oh. Pressure.

Yeah.

Come here, I'II fix your tie.

Oh, thanks.

Is that the weekIy report?

Yeah, why?

Where'd the new visuaIs come from?

Oh, I did them.

I thought it wouId be easier for
everyone to pass the buIIet points.

I'm impressed.

Yeah. Maybe you can heIp me with
the write up on the Victoria property.

I wouId Iove to.

Now, go charm the pants
of Margo's parents.

Ugh. Not a--not a pretty picture.

Her dad's super pear-shaped.

This stuff about you getting
the job is great.

Um, minor troubIe at work,
that's fine.

Uh, but now what we
need is some more depth.

I mean, this can't just
be an articIe about you

dating a bunch of men in suits.

[sighs] It needs to end with you
finding your magic man.

Which I'm trying to find. Trust me.

Mm, your story needs a reaI
reIationship to anchor it.

Do you think any of these
guys have that potentiaI?

Well, there's Liam. Oh, and, uh, Liam.

You stopped seeing Liam, right?

Oh, yeah.

Then you have pIenty of time
to go on a dozen more dates.

A dozen? That's every night.

Yeah, exactIy. And I expect to read
every singIe detaiI

from every singIe date.
Cover stories are fuII-time gigs.

For what it's worth,
I stiII think Seth might be the one.

But I think you shouId go on a date
with him, you know, one more time.

He might surprise you.

Got it.

l have a new mantra.

''Seth is the one. Seth, Seth, Seth.''

l can't see Liam. l have to see Seth.

Seth, Seth.

Seth!

Hey, any chance you're
free for Iunch tomorrow?

Sure, but I didn't think that you--

Dude, what are you doing?

Yeah, sure.

Great.

Oh. This story for Cosmo
is going to ruin my Iife.

So then we had the Ieverage we
needed to compIete the takeover,

which just meant more work for us.

Seth might not be my magic man,

but if l'm not allowed to see Liam,

at least Seth has good fashion sense
and a nice butt.

lf he's the trade-off for a cover
story in Cosmo, l'll take it.

Turns out they had a few companies
in Germany, which means l had to hire

a translator for a few days just to
help me navigate through the books.

And after 18 months of approving
the financials,

we finally closed the deal.

Now, we're one of the most powerful--

This isn't working. My body's here but

my spirit is doing
naughty things with Liam.

Liam.

See him. I said see him.

See him? See who?

Him. My-sh-- My girIfriend.

She's texting me. There's this guy
and she shouIdn't see him.

He stood her up Iike three times.

Do you want to caII her?

No, it's--

Yeah, I shouId. Is that okay?

No, of course.

I'm sorry. She needs me.

We can get together later in the week.

ReaIIy?

Okay. Thank you.

[sighs]

New plan for my article.
l'll date Liam, write about him,

but instead of using Liam's name,
l'll say it's Seth.

Now, that is creative writing.

I have a surprise for you.

Thai chicken wrap.
HeaIthy and deIicious.

You can try something new
every once in a whiIe.

I had them put extra neurotransmitters

and a dash of omega acid.
Just try it.

Fine.

Wow.

Yeah, deIish, huh?

That is the best neurotransmitters
I've ever had.

I'm gIad. What's this for?

It's for the presentation next week.
What do you think?

It's OK.

You don't Iike it?

It's not that I don't Iike it.

It's awfuI.

If you're gonna make visuaIs,
Tom, you shouId make them visuaI.

You couId use coIor and composition
to enhance your pitch.

You wanna surprise them.
Entice them, you know,

make them want just a IittIe bit more.

Wait, what are you--

It's aII right. It's aII good.

If it makes you feeI any better,

I Iike the shirt you wore into
work today.

It's the same shirt I wore yesterday.

ReaIIy? The same?

WeII, not the exact same. Its brother.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

You know, maybe I wiII take you up
on that Lane DanieIs makeover someday.

Anytime.

Eat your transmitters.

Dating Liam. Oh, Seth, is wonderful.

He's charming, he's romantic,
he's sexy.

We're in our own little love cocoon.

Hey.

Hey.

How's your friend?

She's great. Thank you for asking.

CooI.

Even if we're just passing each other
in the office,

we have crazy sexual tension.

[printer whirring]

[loud pop music playing]

(Lane) Okay,
l probably shouldn't tell you this,

but ever since college
l've had this thing.

It's a Iist for eIigibIe guys.

It's basicaIIy a checkIist just
to find my magic man.

Your what?

My magic man. I know.

What, Iike card tricks?
Rabbit out of a hat?

Is that what we're taIking about?

I know it sounds siIIy. But, okay,
I just wanted you to know

that you've scored highest
on the Iist. I mean, aImost perfect.

Wait. ''AImost perfect''?

Mm-hm.

Give me a chance, Lane.
What am I missing?

[bell dings]

How couId you possibIy have seduced
my twin brother

when you knew it wouId rip my
souI from my body,

Ieaving a gaping hoIe that
wiII aIways bear your name.

You know what?
I onIy sIept with him once, okay.

And it was just to make you jeaIous!

Besides, you Ied me on to beIieve
you were freaking dead!

I was in a coma!
But I'm awake now, Lane.

Is there anything
I can do to win you back?

Yes. You know what?
Lose my freaking number!

[people murmuring]

Just met her tonight.

Dreadful sorry about the big
fight last night.

Oh, not me. The makeup was worth it.

Wait a moment.
Does this make me ten out of ten?

Um, after Iast night,
I think that that makes you

eIeven out of a ten.

Looking forward to our next fight.

Mm, me, too.

[British accent] ' EIIo.

Sorry, I didn't know I was supposed
to cook for three.

Oh, that Iooks deIicious.

Because of fake Seth, I'm famished.

Yeah, nothing like deceiving Cosmo to
work up an appetite.

Everything is true, except for
the fact that it's fiction.

Kate just said that she wanted
a good story, okay?

And trust me, this is gonna
be a good story.

Yeah, I know. I think I heard
the cIimax Iast night.

I just don't want you
to get in troubIe.

I hear you, but it's fine.

It's fine.

Yeah. WeII, now that
you're exaggerating

characters and making things up,

I want you to name me... Lucy.
I'm your best friend.

I'm the other hot girI
at Thompson FuIworth,

and I'm using Cosmo's
''ten most exciting

pIaces to have sex in the workpIace''

as my extracurricuIar guide.

You know, with an
imagination Iike that,

- I think you shouId be the writer.
- I'm thinking about it.

Okay, friends share,
so you don't get this anymore.

No, no, you were bad.
You did a bad thing.

As l'm sure you all know,

our internal review with
Mr. Belmont is on the 27th,

and we need to prove our
department's vaIue moving forward.

The presentation needs to be visuaI
and we're gonna mix it up.

We need to surprise him, entice him.

We're gonna run everything
through one person.

Lane?

Yeah.

You'II handIe the visuaIs.

Lane has a really great eye
for this stuff and l have

complete confidence in her.

All right, gentlemen, that's it.
Thank you very much

[men congratulate Lane]

[pop rock music playing]

♪ Jackie has a thing

ln addition to the presentation,

l'm writing my Cosmo story,

starring fake Seth,
the sexiest guy ever.

Who happens to look a lot like Liam.

♪ And she can make it swing

That's reaIIy good.
They're reaIIy yummy.

♪ Even if she's trying to forget

♪ Between the stage lights
and the threat

Hey-hey-hey-hey! Look.

l'm working long hours but l'm
part of a team, and that feels great.

♪ The lonely night of sad rain

♪ Like a lone lost child

♪ Who's on his own again

Lane.

Yeah?

RecycIed paper. That's great.

Oh, I thought you'd Iike that.

So, why don't we use recycled paper
around here?

Oh, you know, it's a good question.

The short answer is
it's out of my controI.

Why don't you make it in your controI?

lt's good for the planet and l bet you
could save this place a lot of money.

We couId save a Iot of money,
but onIy over time.

Uh, hey, this is gonna sound siIIy,

but I wanted a new suit
for the presentation.

I was wondering if I couId take you
up on that makeover we taIked about.

WouId Whitney be okay with that?

Whitney? We broke up.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, no-no-no, don't be. It wasn't
meant to be. She was--

A little demanding?

Yeah.

And she wore fake naiIs.

WeII, there was that, too.

You shouId've toId me.
We couId've gotten drunk

and had cupcakes and thrown eggs
at her apartment.

We stiII can if you want.

No, no, no, that-- That's okay.
But thanks.

WeII, Iet's get you a new suit.

There's nothing Iike
shopping to cheer you up.

Let's do it.

♪ You...

♪ Give me exactly

♪ What l need

Return the caII?

Spin around.

Oh, yeah.

Now do a IittIe dance.

Oh, my goodness.

So, do you Iike it?

I do.

Huh?

Oh.

Yeah!

I Iike. I Iike it. Are we done?

Mm. AImost.

Come on.

You think this is better?

Yes. I wiII miss your brother
and sister shirts,

but I think you Iook reaIIy nice.

I guess I shouId thank you then.

Um, I'd better get back.

Yup. you know,
I'm gonna run to the printer's,

and just grab the mock-ups and
I'II see you in an hour.

Okay, yeah. I'm just gonna change
and then I'II--Okay.

[cIears throat] Ta-dah!

What do you think? Great, right?

They're fine, Lane.

Uh-oh, somebody's in a mood.

[gasps] My article.

Where did you get those?

It was sitting on top of the printer.
The foIder was on your desk.

Tom, this isn't what you think.

AII this time, after everything--

You smug IittIe bastard.

I think I'm missing something.

You don't understand. Tom,
the article wasn't what you think.

Wait a minute.
This is for a stupid articIe?

It's not a stupid articIe.
It's a cover story for Cosmo magazine.

l'll just be in my office.

You're staying right here, Seth.

It wasn't Seth.

- What wasn't me?
- It wasn't Seth?

It was a fake Seth. I made it up.

Yeah, the sexuaI tension between
you guys, the chocoIate sex.

We had chocoIate sex? Could it be me?

Get out.

I thought I knew you, Lane.

And not to sound too personaI,
but I reaIIy enjoyed working with you.

And now l find out
everything is a lie.

Don't say that. That's not true.

Then what the heII is true, Lane?
I hired you. I beIieved in you.

And I worked reaIIy hard.

No, you worked hard on your story,
on tricking everyone.

l thought that you were
becoming a great assistant.

But I didn't know you were
spending your time hooking up

with every guy in the office.

I didn't hook up with anyone.
And I did become a great assistant.

Okay, I Iearned your hand signaIs,

l studied those tutorials,
and l worked late every night

and I poured my heart
into these visuaIs.

Goodbye, Tom.

I just had the most horribIe day ever.

(Liam) Oh, are you okay, love?

No. I just got fired from my job
and ruined everything.

I want you to just come over and
hoId me and hand me tissues.

l'd love to, Lane, l really would,

but l'm actually out of town.

You are?

l had to hop over to London.
One of my acts had a little meltdown.

l'll be back Friday.
We could pick up some cheesecake,

Enjoy it in your bedroom.

Okay. WeII, I miss you.

l miss you, too. Bye.

This is where Liam and l had
our very first date.

Do you know what's wrong with
dating a British guy?

When you really need him,
he's in England.

Joanne, what am I gonna do?

I got fired from my job,

I Iet tom down,
and now my articIe is dead.

No, it's not.

Aren't you forgetting about your best
friend who vouched for you at Cosmo?

You can't just decIare
your articIe dead.

I know that you vouched for me,
and I feeI horribIe.

But my story was supposed to be about
finding Iove in the worId of business,

and the worId of business
has kicked me out. So now what?

Lane, I toId you not to date Liam.

I toId you not to write Iies.

I know you did. I screwed up.

Lane.

Lane.

I think I just saw Liam.

He's in London.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[normal accent] A pleasure to see you
as always. And the lovely lady.

You had time to make
it out whiIe you're here.

Oh, it's so nice to visit New York.

I've been so cooped up in the studio.

He's a producer, you know.

[British accent] Okay, okay, so you're
a record producer as weII?

It's fascinating.

Yes, it is.

[British accent]
LoveIy to see you, Lane.

HeIIo, Liam. How was London?

It was rather-- Let's taIk outside.

Just one second, Iove. Let me teII
you how this works.

This, uh, waiter has
a great British accent,

and he's gonna teII you aII
of these fantastic stories

about his exciting Iife in EngIand.

And he's smooth,
so you're gonna fall for it.

And it's gonna turn out to be
one big cheap Iie.

I just wanted to impress you.

You just wanted to get Iaid.

ShaII we?

Oh. Yes.

I definiteIy think we shaII.

That was good. WeII-pIayed.

[both Iaughing]

Jerk.

l know l deserve this.

l lied to everyone at work
and Liam lied to me.

lt's karma, and it strikes quickly.

And because everything has
to fall apart at once,

l can't get my story
about fake Seth to work.

[cell phone beeps]

Tom?

Lane, where are you?

What do you mean?

Did you forget we have
a presentation today?

Did you forget that you fired me?

What? I didn't fire you.

That's what it sounded Iike to me.

I was upset with you.

Now the presentation for
Mr. Belmont is in two hours

and I need those visuaIs.

Two hours? I have to get to
the printer's to pick them up.

WeII, then run to the printer's.

Tom, everyone is mad at me.
I Iied to everyone.

Lane, this isn't the seventh grade.

It's Investment banking.
Now, get me those boards.

What's up?

Tom needs me to come back to work.

Wearing that?

No.

[cars honking]

Thank you for coming today,
Mr. BeImont.

Let's begin with--

Oh.

Sorry.

Mr. BeImont, hi.

[whispers] Lots of traffic.

Mr. BeImont, Lane here is going
to provide us with some visuaIs

that I think wiII reaIIy enhance
the presentation.

Let's begin. This year's numbers
for corporate strategic pIanning

were depressed by a few factors but,

given the overaII cIimate
in emerging markets,

we feeI confident that we wiII see
an increase in profits.

All you have to do is take a
look at the lndian market.

Prepared to skyrocket.

lf we can consolidate these gains,
we'll move forward.

This is gonna be a great year,

and we hope you'II agree.

WeII, Tom, you and your department

certainIy put together
an impressive presentation,

and I must say the visuaIs were
quite impressive.

Unfortunately, the economic realities
of this are not pretty.

We have to cut $34 miIIion this month,

and I'II have to puII key pIayers
from your group into M&A.

What happens to everybody eIse?

We'II Iet you know who's making
the transition shortIy.

And the rest of you, wiII work
through the beginning of the month.

[cIears throat]

Yeah. Thank you. We're finished here.

Tom.

- Wait, Mr. Belmont.
- Lane, no.

Mr. BeImont, I think you're
missing the point.

And what point is that, young Iady?

If you couId save even more money
than the $34 miIIion

you're Iooking to cut from the budget,

and simuItaneousIy improve your image
in the business and consumer markets,

you'd be interested in that,
wouIdn't you?

Is this a riddIe? I have another
meeting in five minutes.

[whispering] Okay. Just--

Didn't you say that you couId do aII
of this by going green?

You toId me that you couId
save this company money.

I said it was out of my controI.

This isn't seventh grade, Tom.
Take controI.

Go.

Mr. BeImont-- [cIears throat]

Go.

I wanna propose a green initiative.

Our bank can reduce
our environmentaI impact,

support eco-friendIy traders and save
miIIions of doIIars.

Tom, I wouIdn't mind
saving the pIanet,

but we have some
hard decisions to make

and a few cosmetic changes.

It wouId take more than a few cosmetic
changes. We have to target heating,

cooIing, waste and transportation.
I can show you the math.

What makes you think your group
shouId Iead this initiative?

Corporate strategic pIanning is the
onIy division in the entire company

that deaIs with
every other department,

and we handIe properties for our
cIients and our bank.

AII right. Fine.

l'm listening, but l wanna
see the math

and l wanna see a ten-year projection.

And if you can back this up,
I'II keep your department together.

You won't be disappointed, sir.

All right, Thomas. lmpress me.

That was so great.

You saved our department.

Nice work, Tom.

Seth, I'm sorry about mixing
you up with my articIe.

It was nothing personaI. You were
so nice to me and I shouId have--

Lane, it's aII right.

ReaIIy?

Yeah. Besides, I couId never do
what you described in your articIe.

I'm aIIergic to chocoIate.

Right.

[chuckIes]

Oh.

Amazing work today.

You, too.

Good Iuck on the articIe.
I'II be Iooking for it.

Yeah, weII, don't beIieve
everything you read.

What? So, you're not gonna
write the true story?

Cosmo doesn't want the true story.

They want the story that I pitched.

And I've been wanting to work
there for as Iong as I can remember.

Hm. Yeah. WeII, I get that,

but I think you owe it to yourseIf
to write what actuaIIy happened.

It couId be a great story.

Thanks, Tom. I didn't deserve to work

for a guy Iike you. And I'm sorry.

It's okay.
Working in investment banking,

I don't meet many women Iike you.

It was, um, an adventure.

A great adventure.

Goodbye, Tom.

[sighs]

Good, huh?

What really happened may not
have a happy ending,

but love just doesn't
happen to girls like me.

Girls who built their hopes on
an intricate web of daydreams.

The truth is that everyone has issues,

and maybe building up a fake
perfect man in my mind

is my biggest issue of all.

l've been walking around with the
ghost of my magic man.

He's been haunting me, keeping me from
recognizing a world of opportunities

that were right in front of me.

My anger at Liam
eventually faded away.

After all, he was just
giving me what l wanted.

Every lovesick girl's fantasy.

An idealized version of what
l imagined love should look like.

But there's no such
thing as perfection.

Love is for people who are realistic

and smart enough to open
their hearts and minds,

and who realize that
a real relationship

is the ultimate fantasy.

l haven't found
that relationship, yet,

but l've shaken off the shadow of my
magic man and l'm finding myself.

l think that's a pretty good start.

I'd say you toId the truth.

Yup, nothing but the truth.

I just couIdn't teII a Iie, you know,
after everything I Iearned.

WeII, it's probabIy the Iast articIe
you'II be writing for Cosmo.

And I don't imagine they'II be
caIIing me anytime soon.

I'm sorry, Joanne. You stuck
your neck out for me and I--

Okay, enough. You did the right
thing. I'm proud of you.

[cell phone ringing]

It's Kate.

Kate from Cosmo?

HeIIo.

Lane, hi. Uh, I need to see you in my
office first thing tomorrow morning.

Um, sure. So, what did you think
about the articIe? I know that it's--

I'II see you here.

So, what does one
wear to get fired in?

Oh. Hang on. Here, take mine.

I need it.

Why did l tell the truth?
What was l thinking?

l should've just written the
article Kate asked for.

She's gonna be so pissed.

So, this is what hell looks like.

Oh, l hate this crosswalk.
lt's taking me to my doom,

my destruction, the crushing of
my dream.

Thank you for coming in today, Lane.

Kate.

I'm sorry about the articIe.

I don't--I know that it's terribIe
and I'm gonna redo it.

I got sick and I feII
and I hit my head and--

Lane, it's perfect.

I don't know what got into me and--

What?

It's everything I ever wanted.

Everyone at Cosmo Ioves it.

When you came into my office asking
to change what the story was about,

I reaIized this was about something
much deeper.

I reaIized this was about you
figuring things out for yourseIf.

I want to congratuIate you

on your outstanding
cover story for Cosmo.

Thank you.

And of course I'm gonna want
updates on you and Tom.

Tom?

It's so obvious you guys
are into each other.

What? Me and Tom?

Wait a second. So, you just went in

and kicked ass on the big
presentation, packed up your desk,

said goodbye and just waIked out?

Yes. That's what happened.

You never mentioned how
he scored on your checkIist.

Because I didn't
do a checkIist for Tom.

Oh, my God. Okay, hoId on.
What was it?

Okay. Does he take trips to
exotic pIaces on a whim?

Where are you going?

Back to my office.

Does he put passion
above common sense?

ActuaIIy, I bought six.
The same but not the same same.

Not reaIIy and no.

Do you have crazy pubIic fights
and torrid makeup sex?

Wait a minute.
This is for a stupid articIe?

We actuaIIy did have a pubIic fight,

but it wasn't crazy and there
was definiteIy no makeup sex.

Does he share your taste in food?

Why don't you take
a waIk on the wiId side?

No.

Does he have an accent? Does he
pIay a sexy musicaI instrument?

Yes. No.

Well, he plays the harmonica.

Are you starting
to see a pattern here?

That Tom is a zero out of a ten?

And?

And--

I think I have to go.

That's my girI.

All that time my true
magic man was was right

in front of me and
l didn't even notice.

l have to find Tom.

Lane.

Hey, where's Tom?

Um, sorry I was spinning in your
chair, but it spins good.

John.

Uh, I don't know. Are you okay?

Oh, we'II see. I need to find him.
Do you know where he is?

Maybe he's down the haII.

It spins better if
you go the other way.

Oh. She's right.

- Ooh! Seth. Hey. How are you?
- Hey!

I'm--I'm good. I-I started seeing
my ex-girIfriend again.

l used to think she was crazy,
but after dating you--

Um, I'm gIad I couId heIp.

Look, I need to find Tom.
Do you know where he is?

He's actuaIIy in the conference room,

- but he's in a meeting.
- Great, thank you.

Nice seeing you, Lane.

Yeah.

AII right, guys.
The entire department--

Tom.

Ab Fab, what are you doing here?

I figured it out.

Figured what out?

You have no styIe,
you Iike boring food

and you have way
too much common sense.

Um, okay.

You're not spontaneous,
you don't have a sexy accent

and you are nothing I want in a guy.

Thanks?

No, it's a good thing and it just
took me a whiIe to reaIize that.

I don't think I foIIow.

Tom, I--I'm in Iove with you.

I Iove you, too.

You know how you want your first kiss

to be strikingly passionate
and beautiful

with everyone rising
for a standing ovation?

WeII, it turned out to be exactIy
what I hoped for.

Ow!

I'm sorry.

Well, almost.

Ah, the articIes. They're fantastic.

I toId you you shouId've used my Iist.

Tom is cute and he breathes.

So, now that you're a big-time writer,

are you gonna pitch in for groceries?

Oh. WeII, you can caII my peopIe
and see what they can work out.

Okay. WeII, teII your peopIe that
I Ioved your articIe.

Thank you so much, Joanne.

And the cover photo is amazing.

You're not so bad, you know.

So, my article comes out
and people read it

and seemed to like it, which is great.

l'm onto my next big piece for Cosmo.

A story about helping your boyfriend
become fashion savvy,

which is no small feat.

Tom's green division
is up and running,

and he convinces me to help out
on his presentations now and again.

Tom is... Tom.

And there's no leading
man quite like him.

The little quirks are precisely
the things that l love.

lt's our romance and
it's a real romance.

lt's wonderful because all the pieces
of me fit with the pieces of him.

Lane. Lane, I can't feeI my arm.

Oh! I'm sorry.

[pop music playing]