Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:52,996
Are you kidding me?
3
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,273
Oh, Josh!
Sorry I'm late.
4
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:00,795
That's all right.
5
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,633
Office holiday breakfast.
6
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,354
You guys have parties
at 10:30 in the morning?
7
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:05,749
Less liability.
8
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,320
Apparently, people don't
get drunk before noon.
9
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,596
- Mmm.
- It's boring as shit.
10
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,632
But the partners want us there, so...
11
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:12,955
Sure.
12
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:16,110
Anyways, after a year of negotiation,
your divorce is finalised.
13
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,313
These are the terms we agreed to.
14
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,953
The alimony, the house. Sorry.
15
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,957
Don't worry about it.
It's only money.
16
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:28,159
It is only all of the money.
17
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,912
But it's the season for giving, right?
18
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,519
I know how you feel.
19
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,712
Oh, yeah? I didn't know
you were divorced.
20
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,593
Oh, God, no.
That'd be crushing.
21
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,956
- Hmm.
- But I get it.
22
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,958
On one level, it must seem like, uh,
23
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:41,992
"I'm signing away a huge chunk of my life
24
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,793
"that I'm never getting back."
25
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:44,956
Mmm-hmm.
26
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,553
That's it? No other level?
27
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,917
- No, that's it. Uh, initials.
- Oh.
28
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,957
Hey. There are good things
ahead for you, okay?
29
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,514
- Yeah. Oh.
- Come here.
30
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,752
- Thank you. Thanks, buddy.
- Merry Christmas.
31
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,952
- Hey, what's this?
- My final bill's in there.
32
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,952
- Is it?
- Oh, also my holiday card.
33
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,753
The wife had me and the kids dress up
34
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,718
Iike members of One Direction.
Pretty fun.
35
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,952
Mmm. Dynamite.
36
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,954
Yes, Mum, it is all done.
I am divorced.
37
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,519
Well, you should tell Dad
38
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,990
that she is not coming over for Christmas.
39
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,960
Why?
Because we're divorced, Mum!
40
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,071
Well... Oh, Mum,
don't worry about that.
41
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,355
I'm still gonna be fun.
42
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,599
I'm still gonna be
fun Uncle Josh, you know?
43
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,152
Well, without doing that.
44
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,795
No, you can leave
the Santa suit in the attic.
45
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,194
Why? Because I'm an adult
46
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,551
and dressing up as Santa Claus
would be embarrassing.
47
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,192
Hi. Unless, you know,
you're doing it for charity.
48
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,319
Then it's... Then it's, um...
49
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,550
Sorry.
50
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,120
Tell Dad that I love... Oh!
51
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,600
That's lucky.
52
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,757
Just put me down for five bucks, okay?
53
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:08,950
Hanging up, Mum.
54
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,360
Hey, Carla, good morning.
55
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:29,954
You see something over there?
What do you got?
56
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,316
I think that Starbucks
57
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,914
- attracts a bad element, Josh.
- Oh, yeah.
58
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,519
Listen.
Give me the green light...
59
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,716
- Mmm-hmm.
- ...and I'll shut it down.
60
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,837
Oh, I love that initiative.
It's awesome.
61
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,713
Could you sign me in real quick, please?
62
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,079
I wish I could, but they got us sending
you through these machines now.
63
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,749
Gonna replace my ass, matter of time.
64
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:46,956
That's never gonna happen.
65
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,189
These machines
don't have your smile, Carla.
66
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,313
Make that money!
67
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,519
Josh, we have a situation.
68
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,951
Mary!
How do you always just appear?
69
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,076
You're like a human pop-up ad.
70
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,920
Did you read my latest memo
on appropriate work dress?
71
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,713
Uh, almost done.
Don't ruin the end.
72
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,077
Well, some people didn't.
And those people are Meghan.
73
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,598
Nobody listens to H.R.
74
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:09,955
Hey, Meghan?
75
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,958
I thought that I have been clear about
76
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,153
the number of buttons that
can be unbuttoned on a shirt.
77
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,955
- You were serious about that?
- It's winter. Can we
78
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,356
put Dancer and Prancer
back in their stable?
79
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,080
Are you body-shaming her
right now?
80
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,078
Some people here
81
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,635
might find your outfit offensive.
82
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,956
Well, some people might
find your outfit offensive.
83
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,360
And really confusing.
84
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,590
Oh, I thought it was clear.
85
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,155
This is a multi-denominational
holiday sweater.
86
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,794
It has Christmas,
87
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,917
Hanukkah, Kwanzaa,
88
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,719
the Buddhist day of enlightenment,
89
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,520
and Boxing Day on it.
Everyone's included!
90
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,120
Is everyone included?
91
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,760
What about, um, what about
something for the Satanists?
92
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,953
Jeremy, come on. I... I admire
the stand that you're taking,
93
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,916
but let's schedule the protest rally
for after the workday, shall we?
94
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,394
And, Mary, let's let it slide.
95
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:56,835
Thank you.
96
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,189
Good morning, everybody.
97
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,077
You can't silence us all.
98
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,951
I know why you took a medical leave.
99
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,276
It's hard for me to bring her out
in public because she's so beautiful.
100
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,589
Hey, guys.
101
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,952
People put models
on this crazy pedestal, but
102
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,350
I think that's why, you know,
Becca fell for me,
103
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,955
because I just treat her
Iike a normal person.
104
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,072
Good for you, man.
Hey, so, um, are you gonna be
105
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,795
inviting your fake girlfriend
to the holiday party later?
106
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:22,996
I mean, I just want to
make sure you have time
107
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,349
to inflate her.
108
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,590
Okay, Becca's real.
109
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,791
And we're not gonna mix
business with pleasure.
110
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,513
Sounds like he didn't invite her, dude.
111
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:30,795
Oh, my God, did you not...
112
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,350
Oh, no! I mean, I hope
she's not imaginary pissed.
113
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,954
You won't get any more
imaginary blow jobs.
114
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,275
Right?
115
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,629
Tim. Drew.
116
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,314
Hey, it's a couple days before Christmas.
117
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,278
Let's just try to keep it
positive till then, okay?
118
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:42,995
- We're totally positive.
- No, we're all about...
119
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,952
Totally positive that he is full of shit.
120
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,155
Hey...
121
00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,399
You bring it on yourself, Nate.
122
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,710
You know, I do have a girlfriend.
123
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:50,836
I know.
124
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,952
She's a human woman, and we've done it.
125
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,394
Maybe just don't talk
about her so much at work.
126
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,914
It's just gonna make those guys jealous.
127
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,954
You know, not only are you their boss,
but you also have a hot girlfriend.
128
00:05:58,960 --> 00:05:59,996
You know?
129
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:04,157
- It's too much. I hate you.
- Yeah.
130
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,953
- Have a good day.
- You, too!
131
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,189
Can you believe corporate raised
the price in the vending machine again?
132
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,549
$2 for ginger ale?
133
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,952
They're trying to crush us like ants!
134
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,199
No, there's a lot of
bad energy in this office.
135
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,953
Yo, Josh, what the fuck?
136
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,360
What the fuck, Tracey?
137
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,955
You changed the security code
without telling me?
138
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,600
Yeah, I'm working on sensitive shit,
and I don't want prying eyes.
139
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,598
I'm prying eyes?
I'm your supervisor.
140
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,350
Chief technical officer,
Iead systems engineer.
141
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,792
Yeah, well, I'm the only one who knows
how to hack the security panel, so
142
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,792
suck my dick.
143
00:06:58,920 --> 00:06:59,956
Nice. Okay.
144
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:00,950
What are you working on?
145
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,958
Oh, it's too complicated to explain.
146
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,635
What is that, subroutine
for duplex compression?
147
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,952
Don't tell me that's what I think it is.
148
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,600
This is the future of Zenotek.
149
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,200
Hey, we should pitch this to Data City!
150
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,754
That's a theory.
151
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,957
You want to peg the company to a theory?
152
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,272
Man, you used to get excited by big ideas.
153
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,955
Now you just bunt, and ask for
the same thing over and over.
154
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,110
I swing for the fences.
155
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,590
And I'm going to change the fucking game.
156
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,757
Okay. I need the specs for
the Data City pitch, please.
157
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,079
Already done. Here.
158
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,754
Great. That was fast.
159
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,154
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
160
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,953
- Hey, are you okay?
- Yeah.
161
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,560
Really? Because you seem a little off today.
You seem a little weird.
162
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,790
- Well...
- Oh, my gosh!
163
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,957
Today is the day, right? Hey!
164
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,919
Congratulations, you're free!
165
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,077
You gonna get a back tattoo
and some skinny jeans?
166
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,919
Funds are a little tight, but...
167
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:46,950
It feels good to be free.
168
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,275
Yeah.
169
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,953
All right. Thank you for this.
170
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,320
- Hey, J.
- Yeah?
171
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,392
I got you for Secret Santa again.
172
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,952
I know. I got you, too.
173
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,197
Oh, sweetie, that is so great!
Mummy's so proud of you.
174
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:08,959
Hey, could you put your daddy back
175
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:09,950
on the phone for a second?
176
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,635
- Hey, Allison. Is he ready?
- You fucking motherfucker!
177
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,559
If I hear you let your stripper girlfriend
178
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,752
put my children on her
motorcycle one more time
179
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,633
I will Gone Girl you so hard!
180
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,797
- You can go in.
- I'll just go in. Thank you.
181
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,080
No, no, no.
Don't try and sell this
182
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,310
as some win-win situation.
183
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,789
This is not my first rodeo, okay?
184
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,920
- Is that Data City?
- No.
185
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:28,996
No.
186
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,759
Rick, do you want this deal or not?
187
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:31,956
Because if you want him,
188
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:32,950
you're gonna have to pay for him.
189
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,996
It's almost the playoffs,
190
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,839
not the second week of the regular season.
191
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,837
Perfect.
It's the right choice.
192
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,713
I am running a train on this league.
193
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:43,950
I... I don't think that
that means
194
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:44,950
what you want it to mean.
195
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,352
I'd love to talk to you
about the Data City pitch,
196
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,590
for later on this afternoon?
197
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,552
Yes, but first I want
your opinion on something.
198
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:51,835
We've got kind of a crisis.
199
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,952
This is what corporate wants us to give
200
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,753
everyone for Christmas.
Just this.
201
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,519
Yeah, can't hand that out.
202
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,519
And I'm already feeling kind of a
203
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,600
"fuck you" vibe down there,
204
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:03,949
definitely not Christmas spirit.
205
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,514
I can't argue with you there.
206
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,359
Good. I want to
Secret Santa the shit
207
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,954
out of the staff meeting.
Come on.
208
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,159
Can we work and walk?
209
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,952
You're not cold without a big coat on?
210
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,713
No, I gain fifteen pounds every winter
211
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,950
so I don't have to wear one.
212
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,515
- Huh. That's a healthy choice.
- Not really.
213
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,280
Hey, are you bringing anybody
to this wine and cheese thing?
214
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:24,920
Uh, no, I'll be there solo.
215
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,714
Good. Smart. So you can
focus on Tracey, right?
216
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,915
Tracey and I work together.
What are you talking about?
217
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,191
I'm just saying. I can't be
your work wife forever.
218
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,914
Hey, how fast do you think
you'd have to go
219
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,553
- to make that jump?
- Uh...
220
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,955
- Boy, I don't know. In a car?
- Yeah.
221
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,958
I just never thought about that.
222
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,992
You know, your mind's like a drunk baby.
223
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,190
What do you think, 80 or 90?
224
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,755
What would Vin do? Vin Diesel?
Or Tyrese?
225
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,759
They'd never make it, right?
It's suicide. Unless
226
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,519
you were going 120, you put
a bunch of free weights
227
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,954
in the trunk to even it out, you know,
228
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,952
then you just catch air.
Boosh!
229
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,111
"Fuck you, gravity,
and you, Dom Toretto!"
230
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,316
Then...
231
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,838
...just a smooth landing,
Iike a baby's buttocks.
232
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,952
I'd love to pick this up indoors.
233
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,754
You know, I've only ever seen
the first film,
234
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:04,956
so I don't know if I'm much help to you
235
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,110
in this conversation. So...
236
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,073
Are you serious? Why am I
just hearing about this?
237
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,310
We've worked together for eight years.
238
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,995
They only get more fast!
More furious!
239
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,959
I love this place.
240
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,192
So, what would people want?
Would they like... Ooh!
241
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,916
Is this UV?
Is UV good or bad? I forget.
242
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,112
Not good for the eyes, no.
243
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,316
Does it do anything here?
244
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,516
Probably. Is this for
245
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,636
- teeth whitening?
- No.
246
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,752
Okay, what about this, right?
247
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,076
Everybody gets stressed at work...
248
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,310
...around this time of year.
249
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,516
Huh.
250
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,069
That could get you
a sexual harassment suit.
251
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,196
What? Why?
252
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,959
Not everyone likes dildos for Christmas.
253
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,196
This isn't a dildo.
It's a body massager.
254
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,710
Yeah, well, it's a circumcised
purple penis.
255
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,075
It could be considered sexual.
256
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,316
Why is it like that?
257
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,392
Everything here
could be considered sexual.
258
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,393
Hey, what about this for Alan from legal?
259
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:49,950
Well, Alan's bald.
260
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,800
It's so hard to shop for the bald.
261
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:52,990
Who are they?
What do they want?
262
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:54,830
Hair.
263
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,952
You know, maybe we should just
go get some gift cards.
264
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,560
That's exactly what we should do!
265
00:10:58,760 --> 00:10:59,955
"Here's a gift card
because I don't know you
266
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,111
"and I don't care and I won't
get in trouble for it."
267
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,515
You know, when my dad ran this company,
268
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,319
Christmas was actually a big deal.
269
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,789
At the Christmas party every year,
270
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:07,956
he would dress up like Santa Claus,
271
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,758
get everybody fucked up.
272
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,950
Yeah, you could back then.
273
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,792
He would throw gifts into the crowd.
274
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,953
Derek Peterson shattered his
femur for a rotisserie set.
275
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,952
And that was before Boston
Chicken was, like, a thing.
276
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,392
- I've heard those stories.
- He took care of them.
277
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,400
That's what I want
for my people. You know?
278
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,194
And I want that drone.
279
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,993
Clay, let me ask you a question.
280
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,638
You think that my management
style is... Is too careful?
281
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,111
Uh, do you think that I bunt
282
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,953
instead of swing for the fences?
283
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,112
I want to be completely honest
with you, Josh.
284
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,551
I wasn't paying attention, so
I didn't hear your question.
285
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,399
- I can repeat it.
- I'd rather you didn't.
286
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,916
Because I can tell by
your face that it's serious.
287
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,633
And I want to tell you seriously,
288
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,957
it's almost Christmas. Relax.
289
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,759
- You want some of this?
- I think so.
290
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,189
- I don't think you do.
- You sure?
291
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,390
I think you better get moving.
292
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,755
Uh-oh. Here he goes!
293
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,194
Huh?
294
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,391
Eat that! Eat it, Clay!
295
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,199
Careful, careful, careful!
296
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,918
We're good.
297
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,515
Oh, no!
298
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:11,836
Oh...
299
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,711
Hey!
300
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,077
Ooh, somebody is getting fired.
301
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,151
Hey, uh, Allison? Right?
302
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:56,920
- Yeah.
- I'm Fred.
303
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,950
I just joined accounting.
304
00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,590
Hi.
305
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,519
Um, so, I saw that photo on your desk.
306
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,716
Are those your kids?
307
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,917
- Yep. They're two and four.
- Oh.
308
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,713
I'm a single mum. Ugh.
309
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,150
That's great.
310
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,590
- I was raised by a single mum.
- Really?
311
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,154
Yeah. If you ask me,
Tupac was right.
312
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,589
"Ain't a woman alive
313
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,359
"that could take
my mama's place."
314
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,794
I don't know that song.
315
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:21,555
Oh, shit.
316
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,355
Allison.
317
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,280
- Where's Clay?
- He's unreachable.
318
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,990
He's participating
in a conference... Summit...
319
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,959
Elon Musk, uh,
320
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,840
tech participation... Relay.
321
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,400
Let's try that again.
322
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,960
Allison, where's Clay?
323
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,958
- He's Christmas shopping.
- Okay.
324
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,840
I would like all department heads
325
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,838
in the conference room in five minutes.
326
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,636
Tell him to stop looking at me.
327
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:45,796
Look away.
328
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,958
Ooh. No, he's cute. Oh.
329
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,390
Actually...
330
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,711
It's like the calling never stops.
331
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,513
I know.
It's so annoying.
332
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,992
Ugh! You have
got to be shitting me.
333
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,120
So the bartender says,
334
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,839
"We don't see many gorillas."
And the gorilla says,
335
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,395
"Well, at $12 for a martini
I can see why not."
336
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,959
You know a lot of gorilla jokes.
337
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,111
- Yeah.
- Excuse me.
338
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,995
What's going on?
Something's off.
339
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,959
Yeah, everyone's working.
340
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,154
Oh, shitster.
341
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,954
It's my sister.
342
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,950
There she is!
My sister from another mister!
343
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,320
I'm kidding, our mother
344
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,516
didn't start having affairs
until the mid-90s.
345
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,756
What are you doing here?
346
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,759
Well, we were just going over
your fourth quarter earnings.
347
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,360
And I wondered if I was missing something.
348
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:35,749
Probably.
349
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,912
Clay, why don't you have a seat?
350
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,190
Uh, no. It's my branch,
so I prefer to stand.
351
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,910
Fine.
352
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,959
Allison, would you please
remove Clay's chair?
353
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,560
- Uh, sure.
- Thank you.
354
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:50,950
Sorry.
355
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:52,955
Thank you, Allison.
356
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,953
So we were all a little bit disappointed
357
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,197
not to hit 7% growth in this last quarter.
358
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,393
But 6.5% is right on industry
standard for the fall.
359
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,952
Mmm-mmm. You need to hit 12%.
360
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,312
- Twelve?
- Twelve is the new seven.
361
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:08,630
- What?
- Since when?
362
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,080
Since Dad died
363
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,833
and the board made me CEO.
364
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,952
Oh. You mean interim CEO.
365
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,154
Shut up. Listen, essentially,
this branch is failing.
366
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,959
6.5% is not failing.
367
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,116
Yes, it is.
368
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,316
We're doing better than Orlando.
369
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,959
I mean, half those jack-offs
had mono last year, right?
370
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,959
Well, I closed the
Orlando branch. This morning.
371
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,190
What?
372
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,315
I am sorry.
373
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,753
Damn it.
I hate tension, and I...
374
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,316
I farted.
375
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,596
- Wow.
- You are not
376
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:42,949
selling enough servers.
377
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,951
You have no new ideas
and there is no new revenue.
378
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,198
- I have something new.
- Really?
379
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,959
- No, you don't.
- Yeah, I do.
380
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,719
- It's not ready.
- It is ready.
381
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,513
- It's not ready.
- It is ready.
382
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:55,949
- Uh, we can hear you.
- Yeah, sorry.
383
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,952
We can.
It's a completely silent room.
384
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,355
Go ahead.
385
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,791
What's the most annoying thing
about the Internet?
386
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,920
- Pictures of people's kids.
- Linkedln invites.
387
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,111
My girlfriend's always on it.
I have a girlfriend.
388
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,960
The lack of Asian
male representation in porn.
389
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,117
Grumpy Cat.
It's like... It's Garfield.
390
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,391
Oh, you know that orange
with the human dick?
391
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,959
Oh, my God, what is this, Shark Tank?
392
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,280
Can you just get to the point, please?
393
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,389
- It's getting on the Internet.
- Mmm.
394
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,599
So we can already connect to the Internet
395
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:25,950
through standard electrical lines
396
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,838
and obviously we can do it
through the air.
397
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,999
But what if we could combine
those technologies?
398
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,079
With Zenotek AnywAir,
399
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,390
you can pull the Internet wirelessly
400
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,836
from anything that's connected
to a power grid.
401
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,314
Your appliances.
Street lights. A light bulb.
402
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,958
You're never out of range, and
you're never low on signal.
403
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,799
It's AnywAir.
404
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,360
We're in the future.
405
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,599
And you can deliver that?
406
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,190
I'm still figuring out
some coding issues, but yes.
407
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,957
Well, how long have you been figuring?
408
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,952
- Four years.
- Four years?
409
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,391
All right, well, that doesn't
sound very real to me.
410
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,711
Well, if it was real,
I wouldn't have to invent it.
411
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,120
I'm sorry,
412
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,112
- what's your name again?
- Tracey Hughes.
413
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,316
And if you forget again,
414
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,198
it's on all of the recent
patents for Zenotek.
415
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,070
Mmm-hmm.
416
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,389
You know what? I'm gonna sit.
417
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,314
Not because you told me to, but because I
418
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,110
prefer it.
419
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,190
So...
420
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:21,756
Mmm-hmm.
421
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,759
- Is there anything else?
- Actually, yes.
422
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:30,000
This is a sample cheeseboard
for our holiday mixer tonight.
423
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,993
I know it's a little heavy on the Gouda...
424
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,634
That was the MVP last year.
425
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,957
Uh, I do have a feisty Cheddar
on the bench.
426
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,150
I think that pairs better with
427
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,954
the mulled non-alcoholic wine
myself, but what do I know?
428
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,559
Wait, wait. I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
429
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,994
You're having a Christmas party tonight?
430
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,554
Oh, it's not a Christmas party!
431
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,200
It's a non-denominational
holiday mixer.
432
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,630
More inclusive.
433
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,151
Well, whatever the fuck it is,
it's not happening.
434
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,352
Yeah, it's definitely...
Well, it's not "happenin"'
435
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,159
because it happens
at 5:30 in the afternoon.
436
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,510
It's just a small thing
437
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,954
that's really important to all of us, but
438
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,516
trust me, it's gonna suck.
439
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,069
No, it's not gonna suck,
because it's cancelled.
440
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,515
What?
441
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,512
All branch Christmas parties
are cancelled.
442
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:07,636
It's a waste of money!
443
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,752
Come on.
What are you guys not getting?
444
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,838
All right, it's cancelled.
445
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,116
It's not.
446
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,392
Clay! I mean it.
447
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,313
Me, too, Carol. Guys,
448
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,756
the holiday mixer is cancelled.
449
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,910
Yes.
450
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,392
Hey! It's cancelled, Clay!
451
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,959
The thing is not happening at all.
452
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:24,996
I'm not messing with you.
453
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,634
Hey! Stop doing that!
454
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,991
Hey, idiot, I'm looking right at you.
455
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,950
I saw that! You whispered
to the farty cheese lady.
456
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,996
Well...
457
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,551
Don't make me pull rank, Clay.
458
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,155
It is cancelled.
459
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,760
Fine!
460
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,116
Then this meeting
is cancelled! Huh?
461
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,713
Damn it!
462
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,799
I was keeping it light in there.
463
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:51,956
That was light, huh?
464
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,958
You have to give her a break,
Josh. She's hated parties
465
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,952
ever since she started
not getting invited to them.
466
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,516
Please. That party's the least
of your problems.
467
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,190
Is that Dad?
468
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,278
No, Carol, I just have some random guy's
469
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,840
ashes in my office.
470
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:05,950
Got it online.
471
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,073
Yes. He wanted them here,
with me, at his branch.
472
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,711
I thought they were gonna
divide him equally.
473
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,916
It's not my fault that he always liked
474
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,950
hanging out with me more.
475
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,952
I don't care.
I got this company.
476
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,520
Moving on.
477
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,792
We have a lot of
big cuts to make. Okay?
478
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,071
Obviously, bonuses are cancelled.
479
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,957
You know, there's a lot of people that
480
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,394
are relying on those bonuses.
481
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,836
I suppose you're still
getting your bonus, though.
482
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,952
Secondly, I'm laying off
40% of your staff.
483
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,394
Forty?
484
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,952
Forty? We have 200 employees.
That's like, 60...
485
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,597
- Some...
- That's 80. It's 80.
486
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,593
Eighty. That's, like,
80 employees.
487
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,790
Uh, you got to give us
488
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:42,956
a little bit of time to turn this around.
489
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,599
Fine, then you have until
the end of the quarter.
490
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,719
- That's two days.
- Is it? Oh, well.
491
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,070
This is unfair.
492
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,515
You wanna talk unfair?
493
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,637
How about Dad skipping
my Harvard graduation
494
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:53,955
to go with you to the X Games?
495
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,594
And you weren't even competing.
496
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,791
You just sponsored some guy's wakeboard.
497
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,316
He got the bronze.
Which is brown gold.
498
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,717
All right, so I've made a list
of my first round of layoffs.
499
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,836
So you might wanna get a pen
500
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,360
- and start writing these down.
- No. Let me see that.
501
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:07,949
- No. No.
- Give me that.
502
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,958
- No!
- These are my employees!
503
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,919
Guys, are we sure about this?
504
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,280
Say you won't make budget cuts.
505
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,396
I swear to God, Clay!
506
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,596
Here comes the loogie express!
507
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:16,756
- Don't you dare!
- Say, "Everybody's
508
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,832
- "gonna get a bonus," or else.
- You motherfucker.
509
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,759
Suck that back in. You suck
that back in! You mother...
510
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,952
Clay.
511
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,959
Oh, my God!
512
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,753
Why do you do this to yourself?
513
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,513
You know I took nine years of Krav Maga.
514
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,638
Carol, you know, he's turning blue.
515
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,116
Yeah. Our family,
you got to tap out.
516
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,552
Tap out. Tap out.
517
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,312
Okay.
518
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,998
All right. You okay?
519
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,072
Dad gave you a free pass your entire life,
520
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,992
and you're not getting one from me.
521
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,959
The only way you're gonna hit
your targets this year
522
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,310
is by cutting jobs.
523
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,960
Hey, what if we landed
524
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,559
the Data City account?
525
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,316
- Data City? Walter Davis?
- That's right.
526
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,631
You do know that he's already met with HP,
527
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,830
Cisco and Oracle.
528
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,519
Yeah, but he hasn't heard our pitch.
529
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,750
No.
530
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,957
Josh and I have been
drilling into it for weeks.
531
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,958
Yeah. Months. Whole team.
532
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,400
And we have a meeting
533
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,960
- with him this afternoon.
- Yeah.
534
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,350
All right.
535
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,272
Well, I'm on a flight to London tonight.
536
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,718
So if by some miracle you guys
can close Walter Davis
537
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,957
and his $14 million contract
538
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,952
by the time I land at Heathrow,
539
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,634
the jobs are safe.
540
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,956
Done!
541
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,276
And you'll see,
you're gonna look so stupid.
542
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,951
Then we'll finally
have something in common.
543
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,591
Goddamn it! She's so mean!
544
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,840
People are saying "cuts."
What kind of cuts?
545
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,553
Oh, nothing's official.
546
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,796
Guys, I can barely afford my rent.
547
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:46,990
I'm sleeping in a closet.
548
00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,156
Don't panic.
549
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,316
You can't replace the new guy, right?
550
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:50,959
You're probably gonna go
with people that are older,
551
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,116
- more expensive?
- Don't overreact.
552
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,113
I just bought that used Lexus,
Josh. I can't give it back.
553
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,794
I put rims on it, man!
554
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,111
I have six parrots with
very expensive medical issues.
555
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,316
You know this.
556
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,959
I'm gonna have to put one down.
557
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,838
- Nobody is losing their jobs!
- Yeah.
558
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,555
That is a Josh and Clay Christmas promise.
559
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,911
Your promises are dog shit!
560
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,555
- Boy, they turned quick.
- Yeah, they sure did.
561
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,920
Jesus. Incest and rape?
562
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,714
I mean, that is dark.
563
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,958
That could be a different Clay.
564
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,636
And Carol.
565
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,035
We got to land this pitch.
566
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,198
Okay, everybody knows what we're doing?
567
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,631
Sure. We're just pitching to
save our company. No biggie.
568
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,354
And we're proving that
my sister doesn't fuck me.
569
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,193
- If anything, I fuck her!
- All right.
570
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,960
Yeah, listen, I get
the spirit of that, but...
571
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,152
We at Zenotek put the "client"
572
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,956
in client-server
model service distribution.
573
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,158
And this is a leave-behind.
574
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,314
And we have some new innovation
575
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,313
that we can talk to you
about later. Later.
576
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,712
You got to...
You got to go with us.
577
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,400
Okay.
578
00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,953
Thank you for the pitch.
579
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,392
Just give me a beat, and I'll
Iet you know my decision.
580
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,914
Okay. When you say "beat,"
you're talking about an hour
581
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,280
or a day? A full day?
582
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,592
Certainly before the holidays,
I'd imagine, right?
583
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,351
Listen, it's Christmas, so,
I'll be honest.
584
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,191
Your servers are good.
585
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,314
Dell's servers are good.
586
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,274
- So...
- You're gonna go with us.
587
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,958
- I'm gonna go with Dell.
- Fuck!
588
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,189
- Why?
- Don't.
589
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,629
I... I know your product.
590
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,956
My problem is with your culture.
591
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,313
Our culture is great.
592
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,949
That's not what I hear.
593
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,270
Word is you're closing
branches and making layoffs.
594
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,273
- That's not true.
- No, that's barely true.
595
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,000
A mixture of fabrication and rumour.
596
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,760
Look, I get it.
You got to make money.
597
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,917
And every quarter
you got to make more money.
598
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,400
And if you got to fire some people
599
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,552
and cut back on some benefits
to make it happen,
600
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,752
that's what business is now, right?
601
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,997
And as long as the board
has gotten its bonus
602
00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:56,396
and the stock is
ticking up? Come on.
603
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:57,716
Sir, that's not who we are.
604
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,632
If you came to our offices,
you would see that.
605
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:00,955
You should come meet our people.
606
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,515
Yeah, we're a family business.
607
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:03,829
Everyone loves everyone.
608
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,314
I mean, Clay and his sister,
609
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,960
they're so close
it's almost inappropriate.
610
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,191
We would love the opportunity
to prove you wrong.
611
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,200
I'm sure you have wonderful
cubicles and great carpeting,
612
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,119
but I've done those tours before.
613
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:17,959
I'm gonna pass.
614
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:18,996
Um...
615
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,196
Thank you so much.
616
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,390
Oh, we got that.
617
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,597
Oh, no, they've already put it on my room.
618
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:24,915
And in addition to the breakfast
619
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,270
my company won't pay for anymore.
620
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:28,956
Good luck, guys.
621
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,114
Great. That was uplifting.
622
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,316
He's saying we suck.
623
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,959
Our big closer was a thumb drive.
624
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:35,950
Yeah, but we don't suck.
625
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,195
We just need a way to show him that.
626
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:38,396
How are we gonna do that?
We're gonna
627
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,313
invite him to our cancelled
wine and cheese night?
628
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,074
No, we should take him out for real.
629
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:43,316
I mean, you heard him.
His company
630
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,800
won't even buy him breakfast.
631
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,952
He's an old school guy
who drinks scotch at lunch.
632
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,511
We should take him out
and show him a great time.
633
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:50,836
So we'll hook him up with Don Draper,
634
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,713
then go out and get
a couple of steaks and an STD.
635
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,912
No, no, no.
You're both right.
636
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:55,950
We show him a great time
637
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,952
at our office Christmas party tonight.
638
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,320
What? I didn't say that.
639
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:00,960
- It's not the worst idea.
- Right?
640
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,116
Of course it is.
We don't even have
641
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,270
an office Christmas party.
642
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:04,953
Carol said no
to all discretionary spending.
643
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:06,952
She wants to lay off 40%.
You want to double that?
644
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,553
My sister doesn't do anything at 40%.
645
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:09,796
She's just cutting off our legs
646
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:10,956
so we can't run away when she
647
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,314
wants to fucking
curb-stomp our face.
648
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,199
This is the way we close Walter.
649
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,312
We throw the best Christmas
party he's ever been to.
650
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,756
He loves it, he loves us,
he sees we care about people,
651
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,956
he falls in love with our culture,
652
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:20,996
he wants to work with us.
653
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,192
This is how we save everybody's job!
654
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,198
I like it, Josh. Say yes.
655
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:27,397
He's walking away,
unless you have a better idea.
656
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:29,996
That's your approval sigh.
657
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:31,955
Walter?
658
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,359
We have one more pitch for you.
659
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:35,556
Do you party?
660
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,189
I used to.
661
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:01,959
Okay, so we have to throw
662
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,952
a massive party from scratch in
663
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,196
five hours.
664
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:06,993
Yeah. And we got an office
full of pissed-off employees.
665
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,112
You guys, I got this. I have
a black belt in partying.
666
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,800
That's why I got kicked out
of boarding school
667
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:11,956
and two intensive care units.
668
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,839
Listen. Did you see this?
"It's F-ing Christmas, B's.
669
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,189
"Let's get mother-F-ing drunk.
670
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:17,959
- "Attendance mandatory."
- Yeah.
671
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,116
Lawsuit!
672
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,634
Mary, it's for the greater good, okay?
673
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,076
Oh, Joel, would you do me a favour?
674
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,310
Would you get Fred up to Clay's office?
675
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,516
- Oh, yeah, sure.
- Thank you.
676
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,954
- Wait!
- Yup.
677
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:26,996
I don't know if it's helpful,
678
00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:28,156
but regarding the music tonight,
679
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,192
I happen to have a friend
who's a pretty good D.J.
680
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:31,955
Great. Bring him.
681
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:33,953
- See, we already got a D.J.
- Yep.
682
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,952
Um, so let me get this straight.
683
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,350
Now we're having this great party
684
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,318
and we're getting our bonuses at it.
685
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,996
Yes, Jeremy, because you deserve it!
686
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,192
Maybe you shouldn't have
promised them bonuses.
687
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,390
No, first rule of business:
688
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,950
Shoot for the moon
and you'll land on the sun.
689
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,713
I'd love to know where you read that.
690
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,200
And let's just focus on closing Walter.
691
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,959
You know, Carol burned
this place to the ground.
692
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,997
We are planting the seeds of a new dawn.
693
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,073
Smitty? Clay Vanstone.
694
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,276
No, I'm not dead. That was
695
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:01,510
just a rumour,
although well-founded.
696
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,200
How much alcohol
can I legally buy from you?
697
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,756
Move out of my way.
698
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,116
I swear to God, I will drop
this on your back. Move!
699
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:14,720
You know what?
700
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,951
Merry Christmas,
you sweet motherfucker. Ah!
701
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,116
- You're coming, yeah, Smitty?
- Yes.
702
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,350
- Yes! Okay. You want this?
- No.
703
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,590
All right.
704
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,312
I'm keeping this lamb.
705
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:30,830
We need something else,
706
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:31,950
something that will make us look cool.
707
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,838
Does anybody know anybody
who knows the Kanye West?
708
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:34,950
No.
709
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,758
But my girlfriend
does P.R. for the Bulls.
710
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,155
Okay, does your girlfriend
have a friend who knows
711
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,953
the man that makes us call him Yeezy?
712
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,117
Nate,
what's up, man? Did you see?
713
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,835
Significant others are welcome
at the party. Look at that.
714
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,110
Looks like we're finally gonna meet Becca.
715
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,350
Yeah!
716
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:48,636
Um, oh, shoot.
717
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,753
Uh, except she's working late
tonight. Modelling.
718
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,314
Is she shooting the cover
719
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,959
of Full of Shit magazine?
720
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,312
You know what?
She's gonna be there.
721
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,109
You guys!
Nate's girlfriend's coming!
722
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,395
Shit! Match, match,
match. Match! Come on.
723
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,397
Okay. Um, what are we gonna do
with these after the party?
724
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,830
Raffle.
725
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,998
For a failing branch,
we're surprisingly productive.
726
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,552
Yeah, I just wish Carol could see this.
727
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,956
Uh, no, Clay, that would be very bad.
728
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:33,315
Yeah, you're right.
729
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,710
All right, go put on your party suits.
730
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:35,836
- Yeah.
- Tonight's gonna be
731
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:36,950
a great night.
732
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:01,556
Clay, I told you,
733
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,552
I don't need to do
any pre-game for...
734
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,953
- Carol.
- Pre-game for what?
735
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,760
For the, uh, work session we got tonight.
736
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,713
And to complete...
737
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:11,950
We're closing Walter Davis, you know?
738
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,275
It's going really, really well.
739
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:14,954
- Hmm.
- Phase one's complete.
740
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,349
Why don't you come on in?
741
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,749
I thought you were going to London.
742
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,191
I was on my way to the airport,
743
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,119
but I thought I would stop by and
744
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,632
have a tour of your bachelor pad.
745
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,394
Well, that didn't take long.
746
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,553
How did you know about my divorce?
747
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,320
Oh, you changed your
emergency contact to "self."
748
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:34,756
And nobody single by choice
749
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:35,956
would live this close to the freeway.
750
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,952
Is that robe why your wife left you?
751
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,110
What do you want, Carol?
752
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,953
I want you to work for me in New York.
753
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,952
You basically run this branch
without the credit.
754
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,390
I will double your salary,
you'll get job security,
755
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,718
and a boss who doesn't end every memo
756
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:48,950
with a quote from Aerosmith.
757
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,957
I could never do that to Clay,
and I'm very happy where I am.
758
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,356
- Really?
- Yeah.
759
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:55,954
I don't see happy.
760
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:01,751
I see crappy.
And a rug that makes me sad.
761
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,154
Anyway, um...
762
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,716
I don't know,
763
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,632
just think about it.
When the branch closes,
764
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,953
and Clay has a trust fund to fall back on,
765
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,959
what are you gonna have?
766
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:14,960
Not much.
767
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,959
Merry Christmas!
768
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:27,960
- Thank you.
- You got it.
769
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,831
Hey, man. Good to see you. Hi.
770
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:35,316
Eight years
771
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,516
- I've been working here.
- Turn around.
772
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,832
What are you hoping to find anyway, Carla?
773
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:39,996
What's your dream contraband?
774
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:41,959
I just like making you my bitch.
775
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,838
- You can go.
- Thank you.
776
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,953
- Josh.
- Wow! You look like
777
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,952
Cinderella, if she joined the TSA.
778
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,914
Very, very nice. Okay,
take a look at this, please.
779
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:53,076
Ooh, who's Mr December?
780
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,514
This is Walter Davis, he's a VIP.
781
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,120
I want you to do me a favour
and let me know the second
782
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,350
he comes in. Can you do that?
783
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,080
You will hear the sound of heavy flirting.
784
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,992
Or just a text.
That'd be great.
785
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,554
And are you gonna join us later?
786
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:03,994
No, I doubt it. I have to
protect the front lines,
787
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,634
make sure no crazy stuff happens.
788
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,956
But if it does...
I'm ready.
789
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,753
And you went with the yellow.
Smart.
790
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:10,910
Right?
791
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,554
Hey.
792
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,954
- How's everyone doing tonight?
- Great.
793
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,799
- It's my birthday.
- Ah.
794
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,356
Really committing.
That's nice.
795
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,273
Hey, look at that!
796
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,080
- Hi.
- Hey, there, Susan.
797
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:29,994
- Nice reindeer, right?
- How you doin'?
798
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:31,555
Throw that in coat check for me please.
799
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,279
Thank you. You look great. Oh.
800
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:34,949
- Hey, Josh.
- Hey, Dean.
801
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,639
You... You thought you'd bring
the kid, huh?
802
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,276
Yeah. We couldn't get anyone
to watch him.
803
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:40,954
But don't worry, he has an iPad.
804
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,958
We could axe murder each other
and he wouldn't even notice.
805
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,591
He'll just sit there with
that dumb look on his face.
806
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,394
Yeah, that's the one.
807
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,913
Okay. Well, can you stick him
in my office for me?
808
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,555
- If you're cool with that.
- Sure. Well, not cool, but...
809
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,717
- Have a good time.
- Thank you.
810
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,114
All right.
Let's drop him quick,
811
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,590
because these edibles
are gonna kick in any second.
812
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,199
- Hey, Mr Parker.
- Hey, Rodney.
813
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,959
- Want a Zeno Punch?
- No.
814
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,832
- Foam finger?
- Uh-uh, neither.
815
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,634
And, you know, we can skip this, too.
816
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,559
- Good spirit, though. Yep.
- Okay.
817
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,354
Could I have a beer, please?
Pretty great, huh, Jeremy?
818
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,314
Yeah, it's so weird, I feel
Iike I'm still at the office.
819
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,950
Yeah. Oh. Thank you.
820
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:09,950
God,
821
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,511
I know I haven't asked You
for much in this life.
822
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:14,638
Granted, I was born rich.
823
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,998
And white.
And male. And straight.
824
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,632
Except for that one time.
But that's Las Vegas.
825
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,759
But tonight I need You
to bless this party.
826
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:27,993
This party has to rock.
827
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:29,959
So we can get Walter's contract,
828
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,838
so that everyone can keep their jobs,
829
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,191
especially Allison.
I mean, she is losing it!
830
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,757
And she has all my personal information.
831
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,077
And so that we can prove my sister wrong.
832
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,197
Show her that I am a good boss.
833
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,952
And will You say hi to our dad?
834
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,552
And tell him we really miss him.
835
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,552
And that I'm rocking his Santa suit.
836
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,359
Oh, and tell Prince and David Bowie
837
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,954
how much they meant to everybody.
838
00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,952
I mean, Labyrinth, Purple Rain...
839
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,116
They know.
840
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,595
All right,
841
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,718
Iet's light this fucking candle.
842
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,837
Ho ho ho!
Merry Christmas, Zenotek!
843
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,559
It's me, Santa Claus!
844
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,953
I'ma comin' to town
for an epic night. Yay!
845
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:34,950
Santa!
846
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,953
That's okay, we'll get there.
847
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,713
Watch this, Greg.
848
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,591
Dean!
Clear. I'm coming around.
849
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:51,636
Oh, shit.
850
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,355
Oh, God.
851
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:57,960
It's okay!
852
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,957
It's okay!
That was part of it.
853
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,271
Okay, Santa, what an entrance!
854
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,520
Oh! Right down
the chimney, folks!
855
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,394
Merry Christmas, bitches!
Santa can't be hurt.
856
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:10,956
You doing okay? You all right?
857
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,320
- That really did hurt, yeah...
- Are you sure?
858
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,199
But you know what, I had this for padding.
859
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,358
Holy shit.
What the fuck is that?
860
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:17,749
Tell me that's not for something illegal.
861
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,189
No, no, no.
Don't worry, this is all mine.
862
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,959
I rented one of those Money Tornados.
863
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,400
So for the bonuses later,
864
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:23,960
I'm gonna make it rain like a hurricane.
865
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,554
Are you sure you're not
getting carried away?
866
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:26,994
This seems like a lot of money
you're spending.
867
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,959
Josh, this is Christmas, okay?
868
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,954
And if anybody knows how to
work within a budget, it's me.
869
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,394
All right? And speaking of.
870
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:35,514
There you go. Hi.
871
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,950
- Cool.
- Little Jesus.
872
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,953
- Did you rent a live baby?
- Yeah, for the nativity scene.
873
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,953
What? It's cheaper
than you think, okay?
874
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,315
Is it?
875
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,394
Oh, shit! DJ Calvis
in the house tonight!
876
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:51,956
Oh, God, no.
877
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,996
Add my Snapchat: DJ Calvis.
878
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,632
Joel's friend looks just like Joel.
879
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,953
Ooh! Looks like some babies
getting made tonight!
880
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,591
I'm not looking to get pregnant tonight.
881
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:07,950
Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.
882
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,151
Joel, that's a red card for you.
883
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,192
Um, babies are not getting made tonight,
884
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:13,959
not here on company property.
885
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,314
If you're going to have intercourse,
886
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,199
please go beyond the flood lamps
887
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,720
at the perimeter of the plaza
888
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,957
and into the Rite Aid parking lot.
889
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,795
That's right.
'Cause we fucking tonight!
890
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,553
Joel. Language.
891
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,991
This is still an office, and
892
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,750
even though it's dark outside,
the rules don't turn off.
893
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,754
The rules may not turn off,
but your inhibitions can!
894
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,360
I'm talking about take
your pee-pees out
895
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:37,954
and put 'em in some booties!
896
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,069
And remember that tonight
the decisions you make
897
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,159
will have consequences that will haunt you
898
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,078
for the rest of your professional lives.
899
00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:48,915
And, um...
900
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:50,759
And so have fun.
901
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,952
Yeah, Mary, way to psyche everybody up!
902
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,393
Main takeaway:
If you're gonna fuck,
903
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:56,710
do it in the parking lot.
904
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,792
Turn it up!
905
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,634
- Hey.
- Hey! Someone cleans up nice.
906
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:12,950
Oh...
907
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,953
Yeah, I... I'm wearing the
same clothes, from earlier.
908
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,591
Oh, yeah. I was just making
a party joke.
909
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,553
I didn't want to go all the way home
910
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,075
and then come back, so I just
sat in my car and worked.
911
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,513
Oh, also I was waiting for
my phone to charge.
912
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,953
Oh. So you're all charged up!
913
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,316
What?
914
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,592
I said you're all charged up.
915
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,280
Yeah, my phone.
916
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,320
Hey, the music is really loud.
917
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,959
Do you want to go somewhere and talk?
918
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:43,312
- Uh, yeah.
- Okay.
919
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,080
This is Zenotek.
920
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,919
Oh, shit!
921
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,838
That's Jimmy Butler right there!
922
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,314
Who's Jimmy Butler?
923
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,314
Two-time All-Star. Best player
on my fantasy team.
924
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:03,955
Fuck you, Butler!
925
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,992
I don't know why I said that.
Oh, fuck.
926
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,310
These are great.
You know what?
927
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:08,800
Why don't you give me your number
928
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:09,956
and I'll text these to you.
929
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:11,754
Excuse me. Hey. Hi.
930
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,952
- Jimmy, hey, this is Josh.
- Hey. How you doing?
931
00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,633
So you the big man around here, huh?
932
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,911
I'm not that big, no.
I'm feeling small right now.
933
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,553
Look at this. Good for you.
934
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:21,110
Here's the big man!
935
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,595
Jimmy Buckets. Clay Vanstone.
936
00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:24,279
Thanks for coming
to our Christmas party, man.
937
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:25,959
Of course.
I've been trying to expand
938
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,155
the Jimmy Butler empire
939
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:28,396
into the tech space.
940
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:29,710
I'm thinking Jimmy Butler dating app.
941
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,952
- Maybe Butlerbook?
- I like it.
942
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,957
- Jimmyface?
- These are all good ideas.
943
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,992
Do you want to see the first
processor that we ever made?
944
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,157
It's as big as a mini-fridge
and it used to set fires.
945
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:39,950
It's upstairs with the good tequila.
946
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,070
- Of course.
- Casamigos.
947
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:42,196
I'll save some for you.
948
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,792
Geek yourself out!
He's really into technology.
949
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,713
Will you remind me, how do you know
950
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:48,916
Jimmy Butler again?
951
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,952
Remember, I told you my friend
does P.R. for the Bulls?
952
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:52,794
- Yes! Yeah.
- Right.
953
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,592
I thought that bringing
a famous basketball player
954
00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:56,790
would help with Walter.
955
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,189
- Ah.
- You're cool with that, right?
956
00:38:58,960 --> 00:38:59,950
Why wouldn't I be cool?
957
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,116
It's the greatest idea in the world.
958
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,316
Of course I'm cool.
959
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:03,834
- Very cool. Please.
- Okay.
960
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,952
Yeah. Mr Cool.
I graduated valedictorian
961
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,792
from Cool University!
962
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,952
Good old C.U.
963
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:11,796
Mmm-hmm.
964
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:13,710
Okay.
965
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,070
"C.U." Iater!
966
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,958
Oh, Josh.
967
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:39,910
Savannah?
968
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,992
I think you mean Becca, right?
969
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,839
Uh...
970
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,111
I'm gonna be honest,
I've never done this before.
971
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,959
Although my mum and I have watched
972
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,314
Pretty Woman, Iike, a million times.
973
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,632
Oh, I love that movie!
It's why I'm doing this.
974
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:54,960
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
975
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,394
It feels kind of dirty.
976
00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:58,959
You feel dirty?
977
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:00,997
You're my third client
tonight. It's only 9:00 PM.
978
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:02,596
Oh, really?
979
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,111
So, um, you just have to pay my manager,
980
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:06,953
and then we're, like, good.
981
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:07,996
Oh, yeah, um...
982
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,189
Got it right here.
983
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:11,959
Hi. Nate.
984
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,189
- Nate?
- Yeah.
985
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:26,640
Hi, I'm Trina.
986
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,395
I don't do handshakes,
I do hugs. Get in here!
987
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,553
Oh, my gosh, you guys are gonna have
988
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,313
so much fun tonight.
I can feel it.
989
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:35,959
- You're already a couple.
- Hope so.
990
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:36,950
Already.
991
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:38,599
- Is this for me?
- Um, yes, ma'am.
992
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,793
Oh, my gosh. Look at him.
Prepared. I love that.
993
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:42,950
I'm not even gonna count it.
994
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:43,996
- You know why?
- Mmm-mmm.
995
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,312
- 'Cause we're friends, right?
- Yeah.
996
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,318
Yeah, we're not fucking friends.
997
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,595
Oh, my God.
998
00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,757
So if you're thinking of fucking with me,
999
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,274
or with my girl,
1000
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,758
don't. Because I'm hella
stressed out right now.
1001
00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,111
This week has been a scheduling nightmare!
1002
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,755
My iCal crashed,
1003
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,355
and now all my appointments
are set in 2019.
1004
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:04,956
And in Hebrew.
1005
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,196
It's a flawed program. I've
been saying this for years.
1006
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:08,959
Shut up.
1007
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:10,634
My point is,
1008
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,953
if one more person
pisses me off... One more...
1009
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,953
I don't know what's gonna happen.
1010
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,799
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
1011
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:21,112
We're clear?
1012
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,954
Okay, so now, um, just have a good time.
1013
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,393
If you use handcuffs,
have a spare key, okay?
1014
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,315
Jesus, we do not want to go
through Thanksgiving again.
1015
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,399
Um, hey, if you need me in the next hour,
1016
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:33,630
I'll be at Whole Foods.
1017
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,796
Okay.
1018
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,953
Alexei, open my fucking door!
1019
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,960
Come on.
Let's go meet your friends.
1020
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,952
I can close it myself!
1021
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:45,073
I'm a woman in 2016. Jesus.
1022
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,750
Okay, Clay, incoming.
I just got a text from Carla.
1023
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:50,956
Walter's on his way up.
This is it.
1024
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,196
Okay, okay.
So we need an employee
1025
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:53,515
to sit on my lap right when he comes up.
1026
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:54,954
A cheerful one.
Definitely not Jeremy.
1027
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:55,996
Uh, sure, great plan.
1028
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,556
Great. Good, good. Here.
You try and get this on.
1029
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,955
Hey, Walter!
1030
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,559
- Welcome to Zenotek.
- How are you?
1031
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:05,835
I'm so glad you came.
1032
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:06,950
Good to see you.
Can I take your coat?
1033
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,719
- No, no, I'm good, actually.
- You sure? Okay.
1034
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,718
All right. Walt, what would
you like to get started with?
1035
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:11,950
You know, we got a photo booth.
1036
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,077
It's like getting your
picture taken in a tiny house.
1037
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,270
We love it.
1038
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,079
Oh, uh, Jimmy Butler is here!
1039
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,192
Jimmy Butler from the Bulls is here.
1040
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,390
What? Come on! Where is he?
1041
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,796
Do you want to take a selfie
with him? Everyone's doin' it.
1042
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,519
You know, I'm a Cavs fan, actually.
1043
00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:25,949
- Oh.
- There's a good team.
1044
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,594
- This was a mistake.
- Hang on. Hang on.
1045
00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:28,836
No, no, no. Come on.
1046
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,997
Now, a mistake would be
to miss the salmon station.
1047
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:32,270
Do you like salmon? Huh?
1048
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,718
You want to swim upstream with
me and go try some salmon?
1049
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:37,713
What does that even mean?
1050
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,639
You know what? Let's start
with a drink. Come on.
1051
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,400
Yeah. Are you thirsty? Clay,
you want a drink with Walter?
1052
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,632
One vibrator, please.
1053
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,554
Okay. Here you go.
1054
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,360
- It's really a body massager.
- No, it's a vibrator.
1055
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,751
Hey, Josh!
1056
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,713
Oh, hey, Jeremy.
This is Jeremy,
1057
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,075
our customer service manager.
1058
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,715
Hi, nice to meet you.
Mary just fucking cited me!
1059
00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,274
Okay?
I thought this was a party.
1060
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,910
If I want to dick tap Alan,
I'm gonna dick tap Alan.
1061
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:02,996
That's a timeless gag!
1062
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,952
- Never not funny!
- Okay, off you go.
1063
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,960
She is like a poisonous
fucking cloud of shit gas,
1064
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,273
Iike, just seeping into
everybody's good time.
1065
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,275
Every word she says makes
my fucking haemorrhoids throb!
1066
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:18,951
- I want that on the record.
- It is.
1067
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:20,760
He's in customer service?
1068
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:21,956
Yeah, he's much better on the phone.
1069
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,639
That's really where he shines.
Here we go.
1070
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,952
Hey, can we get a scotch?
Um, Macallan, right?
1071
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,312
Uh, no, dude.
It's the eggnog luge.
1072
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,314
Oh. Just the eggnog.
Okay. Great. Well...
1073
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,399
Uh, looks like fun.
Ladies first.
1074
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,553
- Josh, I insist. After you.
- Well, I'm not much on eggnog.
1075
00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:37,955
Don't listen
to this guy. He's Mr Fun.
1076
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,310
He'll do anything for
the party. So, come on!
1077
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,120
Hey, everybody!
Josh is gonna do the luge!
1078
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,119
No, no. I don't think so.
It's not for me.
1079
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,120
Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh!
1080
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,313
It looks like they want you to do it.
1081
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:53,119
Should I do it? I'll do it.
1082
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,950
I'll do it, I'll do it.
Okay, let's do it.
1083
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,277
This the luge right here?
Here we go.
1084
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,555
Here we go... Here we go...
1085
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:06,516
Mmm-hmm.
1086
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:10,916
Mmm.
1087
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:14,950
Oh, God.
1088
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,955
Whoo! Okay, Walter, your turn.
1089
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:20,150
Where'd Walter go?
1090
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:21,794
I totally got you deep throating him.
1091
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:23,280
Oh, well, look at that.
That's beautiful.
1092
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,591
Where'd Walter go, huh?
Clay, did you see Walter?
1093
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,354
I don't know about
that whole throne thing.
1094
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:28,715
I mean, nobody liked the gifts,
1095
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,917
everybody was complaining
and the lap-sitting got weird.
1096
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,116
Oh, no.
1097
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:33,270
What's happening?
1098
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:34,396
Well, it's just not working.
1099
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:35,596
If you took away everybody's drinks
1100
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:36,790
and turned up the lights,
1101
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,639
it just looks like we're
at work. You know what I mean?
1102
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:39,956
We need to get amped up.
1103
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,758
We need to get them interacting.
1104
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,519
You guys should do what you
did at the party last year.
1105
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:44,955
No. Not doing that. Come on.
1106
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,190
No, that was lame.
1107
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,119
No, no, it was fucking
awesome! People loved it!
1108
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,395
It wasn't. And they didn't.
1109
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:50,994
Do it for the company.
All right?
1110
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,840
I'm gonna go give Walter
party mouth-to-mouth.
1111
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:55,639
Is he crying?
1112
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:56,950
I wanted to give you this pamphlet
1113
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,400
which has a lot of good information
1114
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,956
about the signs and symptoms of sadness.
1115
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:02,510
When I'm sad,
1116
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,160
I like to remember something
my grandma used to sing.
1117
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:11,996
It's about ducklings.
1118
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,960
Mary, you wore a blue coat, right?
1119
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,953
- No, I wore my beige poof.
- Oh, that's it.
1120
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,116
It's probably not a big deal,
1121
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,192
but I saw Meghan rifling
through all the pockets.
1122
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,120
No, no, no, no.
My Bath & Body Works coupons!
1123
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,392
Walter.
Clay Vanstone, remember?
1124
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,630
- Hey.
- How are you?
1125
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,594
- I want to show you Zenotek.
- Ah. Yes.
1126
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,359
You're a very expressive dancer.
1127
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,074
Oh, thanks.
Let me know if you want me
1128
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,958
to dance, like,
sexy or something, you know?
1129
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:57,950
- Yeah. No, we're good.
- Okay.
1130
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,959
Uh, hey, there's actually some
guys I want you to meet.
1131
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,150
Okay, great.
1132
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,272
Let's just work out the money
thing first, though, yeah?
1133
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,397
Uh, I already gave Trina $200.
1134
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:09,960
Oh, yeah, that's just for the first hour.
1135
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:11,514
If you want me for the rest of the night,
1136
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:12,954
it's gonna be another $2,000.
1137
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,954
- Two grand? No. No way.
- Yeah.
1138
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,280
The website clearly said
1139
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,192
it was $200 for the whole night.
1140
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,835
Do I look like I'm $200 a night?
1141
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,351
Okay, fine.
I'll go to an ATM, okay?
1142
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:25,955
Okay. Give me your watch
as collateral.
1143
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:26,950
It's my grandmother's.
1144
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:28,156
I don't care.
1145
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:29,350
Shit.
1146
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,276
Holy shit.
1147
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:42,274
That was just how daddy likes it.
1148
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,396
Mmm-hmm.
1149
00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:44,790
Check it out.
1150
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,277
You're a fireman.
1151
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,919
Must be really nice to have
a day care centre at work.
1152
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,156
Yeah, yeah. Clay set this up
when I was pregnant.
1153
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:55,510
I think he just wanted an excuse
1154
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:56,954
to have Play-Doh
in the office.
1155
00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,553
- Shall we?
- Oh.
1156
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,832
- You are such a good mum.
- Aw.
1157
00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:06,756
Thanks.
1158
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,390
I, uh, bet you'd make me
finish all my homework
1159
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,153
before I could go outside and play.
1160
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,274
Yeah, especially
if you were being naughty.
1161
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:17,274
Do I need to be punished?
1162
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:19,957
Well, I guess that depends
on your homework.
1163
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,196
I bet you'd make me
1164
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,516
brush my teeth
so I don't get any cavities.
1165
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,958
Oh, we're still doing this.
Okay.
1166
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,159
I've been a bad boy, Mummy.
1167
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,955
Okay, um, do you have
some kind of weird fetish?
1168
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:42,953
What? No!
1169
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:44,839
No, I'm so sorry,
I didn't mean to give you
1170
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:45,950
that impression.
1171
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,400
- I just got carried away.
- Oh.
1172
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,752
I just really like you.
1173
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:51,952
Yeah. I really like you, too.
1174
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,593
Something's happening in my diaper.
1175
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,519
- Okay. Fuck this. I got to go.
- Huh?
1176
00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:07,790
- This is my nightmare.
- What?
1177
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:09,912
- So, yes, I'm in hell.
- No, uh...
1178
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,360
- So I'm gonna go.
- Mummy!
1179
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:12,795
I mean, Allison. Don't leave.
1180
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:17,193
Save that shit for the fourth
date like a normal person!
1181
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:21,955
Sorry.
1182
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,310
All right, Nate, this is what
you've been saving for.
1183
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:31,959
Who designed this?
1184
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:32,950
Come on!
1185
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,957
Shit! Fuck me!
1186
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:41,950
Yes.
1187
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,157
I'm okay! Merry Christmas!
1188
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,154
Okay. You ready?
1189
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,917
Okay, you look ridiculous.
1190
00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:01,713
Is it the hat?
1191
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,912
Hey.
Merry Christmas, everybody!
1192
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,636
Who's happy about the holidays?
1193
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,952
Okay. Okay.
1194
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,596
Hey, so, um, you dickheads
want to buy some cocaine?
1195
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:52,917
Yeah! We'll do that.
1196
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,832
One cocaine.
Want to do it with us?
1197
00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:00,518
Yeah! Yeah!
1198
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,512
I believe in taking risks, Walter.
1199
00:50:06,720 --> 00:50:08,951
Zenotek, my company,
believes in taking risks.
1200
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:09,996
You know what we should do tonight?
1201
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,196
We should do something that scares us.
1202
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,390
Makes us feel alive!
1203
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:14,950
Do you think you could
1204
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,838
swing across the dance floor
with those lights?
1205
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:18,190
What's that?
1206
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,313
Like, if you grabbed every single strand,
1207
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:21,556
do you think that you could swing
1208
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,552
and then time it just right
and grab all of those strands,
1209
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,956
then, like Tarzan, make it
all the way to my office?
1210
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,952
Merry fucking Christmas.
1211
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:29,950
You know what?
1212
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,955
This has been really great,
and I thank you, but,
1213
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,719
it's time to hit the road.
1214
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,712
Oh. Um, you can't leave yet,
1215
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:38,075
'cause we're just getting started!
1216
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,953
Hey! You got snow machined.
That's meant to be lucky.
1217
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:04,950
It tastes bitter.
1218
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,992
It's just paper products.
Let's get you cleaned up.
1219
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,392
Great, great.
So I guess we'll just take two
1220
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:10,630
and call you in the morning, then?
1221
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:12,956
- Is that, uh...
- Yeah, don't call me.
1222
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:15,552
You on Snapchat?
1223
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,557
We'll be up here if you
want to come back up here.
1224
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,554
I need some air.
1225
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,831
Oh, also I have your Secret Santa.
1226
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,070
Oh. Okay.
1227
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:28,954
What are you doing?
1228
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:30,600
Pissing off Mary.
1229
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,277
# GreatestPartyEver. #OpenBar.
1230
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:35,920
How do you spell "Hanukkah"?
1231
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:37,713
Wait, who are you sending that to?
1232
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:39,952
Oh, you know, everyone in Chicago.
1233
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:43,996
You've never been up here?
1234
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:45,156
No.
1235
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:46,914
This is where I usually am
1236
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:48,758
during the sexual harassment seminars.
1237
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:50,838
Oh, it's beautiful.
1238
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,757
Oh, it's colder up here for sure.
1239
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:56,959
And it's, uh...
1240
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,755
Oh, man, it's higher.
1241
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,118
Maybe let's go...
Let's go lower.
1242
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:04,954
And warmer. Come on.
1243
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,634
- Uh-oh.
- No. No, it never locks.
1244
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,151
Wait, no. It never locks!
1245
00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:14,995
I bet you're also never up here
1246
00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:16,349
- at night, right?
- No.
1247
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,951
It's all right, I came prepared.
1248
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:21,956
So did I.
1249
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:23,594
Your Secret Santa.
1250
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:24,950
That's a lot better
than where I'm keeping mine.
1251
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,316
Excuse me. Mr Vanstone?
1252
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,312
- Have you seen this?
- Hi. I'm Rodney.
1253
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,111
We haven't met
yet. I'm an intern here.
1254
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,396
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas.
1255
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,320
- Yes, you can have a job.
- Are you serious?
1256
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,632
Yeah, party hire.
Junior associate. Congrats.
1257
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,752
Oh, my God.
Mr Vanstone, thank you!
1258
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,314
- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
1259
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:47,830
- Oh, my God. Yes?
- Hey, Rodney!
1260
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:49,800
We're gonna get you a new name.
1261
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:50,990
Done! I'll call my parents.
1262
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:53,199
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
1263
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:54,950
Hey. You okay?
1264
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:56,953
Ha! I was down.
I was having a bad day.
1265
00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:58,076
But now I'm lifting.
1266
00:52:58,200 --> 00:52:59,270
I'm seeing things. My mind.
1267
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,317
The ideas are flying through my mind!
1268
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,279
- I'm feeling strong.
- Okay, good.
1269
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,838
- High five. Ha!
- Sure.
1270
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:06,996
Ha-ha!
1271
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,555
You can't keep Walter Davis
down forever, baby!
1272
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,400
Let's go get fucked up.
1273
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:15,636
Okay, but not too much.
1274
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:16,955
When I drink, a lot of bad things happen.
1275
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:18,189
You know, my sister's horse goes missing.
1276
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,118
My car is covered in horse hair and blood.
1277
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,316
Fingers get pointed.
1278
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,995
Smoke PCP as a favour.
Beach burns down.
1279
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,793
That ain't never been my problem.
1280
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,832
Come on! Let's go get a drink!
Yeah!
1281
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:29,839
Oh, shit!
1282
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:10,155
We're expecting blizzard conditions
1283
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:11,350
for 12 to 24 hours...
1284
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:12,556
Just get me on a plane.
1285
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:13,959
Get me on any goddamn plane, all right?
1286
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,952
I have enough miles to orbit the sun.
1287
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:17,639
I'm sorry, ma'am.
All flights are grounded
1288
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:18,796
until the snow clears.
1289
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:19,956
There's nothing more I can do.
1290
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:22,156
Well, refer me to someone
who can do something.
1291
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:23,953
That would be God, ma'am.
1292
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:25,832
Oh, Her.
1293
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:28,794
Have a great holiday.
1294
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:29,950
Shit.
1295
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:39,638
Did you eat my Cinnabon?
1296
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:41,755
No.
1297
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:43,990
Where's your mother?
1298
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:45,959
Bathroom.
1299
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:50,953
- What's your name, sweetie?
- Darcy.
1300
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:52,156
Oh.
1301
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:56,956
Hi, Santa.
1302
00:54:57,720 --> 00:55:00,918
Yes, Carol Vanstone.
I'm here with Darcy.
1303
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,114
I know. Terrible name.
1304
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:05,758
And she's being a little shit here
1305
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:06,990
in the first class lounge.
1306
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:08,600
So I think we should cancel
1307
00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:11,189
all of her Christmas presents this year.
1308
00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:12,955
Yeah. And while she's asleep,
1309
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,276
why don't you take that doll, too.
1310
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:16,955
Great. Bye.
1311
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:18,595
May l have your attention, please.
1312
00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:21,076
Due to inclement weather, all
flights have been cancelled.
1313
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,510
Shit!
1314
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:28,314
Fuck you!
1315
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,280
Zenotek, you having a good time now?
1316
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:37,079
You ready to kick this up a notch, huh?
1317
00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:41,916
Hit me with the horns, Calvis!
1318
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:43,519
Old school.
1319
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:47,555
Make some noise!
1320
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,356
Yeah!
1321
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:55,750
# Here we go now!
1322
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:57,553
Is this not the best fucking party
1323
00:55:57,640 --> 00:55:59,120
y'all been to? Come on down!
1324
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,312
# Here we go now!
Here we go now!
1325
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,912
# Here we go, here we go!
Let me clear my throat
1326
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:07,953
Yeah, get on up here.
1327
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,720
Give it up for Walter!
My main man, Walter!
1328
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:13,636
Goddamn!
1329
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:15,194
Get on up here, Mary!
1330
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:17,960
Give me the mike. No, no, no.
Give me the mike.
1331
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,554
- Give it up for Mary!
- No, no.
1332
00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,109
Mary, everybody, yeah!
1333
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:23,634
You got to stop.
1334
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:25,752
# When l say H, you say R
1335
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:27,952
# H.R.! H.R.!
1336
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,310
# When l say H, you say R
1337
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,631
# H.R.! H.R.!
1338
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:34,957
# And when she says H, you say R
1339
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:37,555
# H.R.! H.R.!
1340
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,552
Yeah!
1341
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:44,157
# lf y'all want to party like we do
1342
00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:45,953
# lf y'all want to party like us
1343
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,959
# Let me hear you say,
"Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!"
1344
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,397
# lf y'all want to party like we do
1345
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:54,960
# lf y'all want to party like us
1346
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,353
# Let me hear you say,
"Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!"
1347
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,793
Okay, that's part of it. Yeah!
1348
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:05,994
She's what makes this company great,
1349
00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:08,919
just like every motherfucker in here!
1350
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,316
# When l say freeze, y'all freeze one time
1351
00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:13,960
# Freeze!
1352
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,792
# Now let me clear my throat
1353
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,589
# Special dedication going out
to all the ladies
1354
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:21,949
# And all the brothers in here!
1355
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,960
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
1356
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,758
This is fun, right?
1357
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,110
This has turned
1358
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:45,840
from charming
into life-threatening.
1359
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:49,832
I cannot believe that
they are still not responding.
1360
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,153
At least my death will give my parents
1361
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,192
something to talk about
at the meal I'm gonna miss.
1362
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:56,119
- Going to your parents' place?
- Every year.
1363
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,958
This is where not having
any family actually pays off.
1364
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:01,953
I get the whole city to myself.
1365
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:04,158
It's like some kind of
awesome plague came in
1366
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,272
and spared only me
and the Chinese restaurants.
1367
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:07,949
This is useless.
1368
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,952
You gonna be solo, huh?
1369
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:11,953
There's not gonna be
a stocking on your mantel
1370
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:13,553
for Jimmy Butler at your place?
1371
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,392
- What are you doing?
- Nothing?
1372
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,758
Just asking. You know?
1373
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:21,914
You could have dated me, Josh.
1374
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,110
But you freaked out and ran away.
1375
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:27,277
I still had PTSD from
my marriage just ending, so...
1376
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,952
You'd been separated for a year.
1377
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,191
- I fucked up.
- Yeah.
1378
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,399
Because you're an idiot.
1379
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:39,314
I'm sorry.
1380
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:42,759
I have been feeling shitty about it.
1381
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,952
We should've done this a long time ago.
1382
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:55,959
- Yeah.
- Right?
1383
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:05,835
- Hey, Jeremy.
- Huh?
1384
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:06,950
Hey!
1385
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,758
- Hey, man.
- What's up, guys?
1386
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:12,749
Wow. Good thing I wasn't
going number two, huh?
1387
00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:14,320
Yeah. Leave you to it.
1388
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,120
- This is my territory!
- Got it. That's clear.
1389
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,279
They can't shut us down!
1390
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:23,317
We're never gonna get shut down!
1391
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,956
# When l say Zeno, you say Tek
1392
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,112
# Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek!
1393
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:30,756
# When l say Zeno, you say Tek
1394
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:32,952
# Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek!
1395
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,111
It's a Christmas miracle.
1396
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:39,957
# When l say Zeno, you say Tek
1397
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,077
# Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek!
1398
00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:44,557
# When l say Zeno, you say Tek
1399
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:46,997
# Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! #
1400
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:49,957
I love this party!
1401
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,109
I love this company!
1402
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:56,559
And I want to work with you people!
1403
00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:00,959
What did he just say?
Did Clay just close Walter?
1404
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:03,840
Huh, he really is Santa Claus.
1405
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:10,960
Yeah!
1406
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:36,998
So, Carol. You know,
1407
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:38,839
- that's my grandmother's name.
- Mmm.
1408
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:41,553
- No, I did not know that.
- Yeah.
1409
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:43,636
Oh.
1410
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,958
It's kind of an old-timey
name. Don't really hear
1411
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:48,953
Carol much anymore.
1412
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,992
It's like... "Hi, I'm Carol.
1413
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,353
"I gotta get home
before I miss my stories."
1414
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:59,959
"Hi, I'm Carol. I heard about
Pearl Harbor on the radio."
1415
01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:03,954
"Hi, I'm Carol. I died
in the beginning of Up."
1416
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:05,989
That movie?
1417
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:08,717
Sorry, I'm just nervous.
1418
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:12,590
My first night on the job.
On the ol' J.O.B.
1419
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:13,956
- It's your first night?
- Yeah.
1420
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:14,950
Driving?
1421
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,116
First night driving the ol' Ubes.
1422
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:19,955
It's a pretty sweet gig,
though. Make my own hours.
1423
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:21,799
You know, I could hook you up
1424
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:23,354
if you want to be an Uber driver.
1425
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:25,712
I'm good. I already have
a job. Thank you very much.
1426
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,958
Yeah, but you could be CEO
of your own car!
1427
01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:30,919
I am a CEO.
1428
01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:32,076
Of Uber?
1429
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:35,274
Oh, my God.
Is this Undercover Boss?
1430
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:36,589
Is that a camera?
1431
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,156
Am I on ca...
Are you wearing a disguise?
1432
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:40,953
No.
This is not Undercover Boss.
1433
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:42,799
I am not the CEO of Uber.
1434
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,191
I am the CEO of Zenotek.
Please just drive.
1435
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:48,000
No shit.
I just dropped off,
1436
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,952
Iike, four people at that party tonight.
1437
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:52,950
I'm sorry?
1438
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:55,515
They gave me three stars
Iike a bunch of bitches.
1439
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:56,954
Excuse me.
What did you just say?
1440
01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:59,550
- I said they were bitches.
- No, no. What party?
1441
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,320
The party at your office.
Everybody's like, "Oooh."
1442
01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:06,158
- You son of a bitch, Clay.
- Yeah, bunch of bitches!
1443
01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:07,953
Can you just...
1444
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:10,156
Can you move? Move!
1445
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:19,758
The English band, the Optic Monkeys?
1446
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:21,070
You were supposed to see them
with your friend Lindsey,
1447
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:22,276
you were like, "I can't go,"
1448
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:23,396
because you couldn't get a babysitter?
1449
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:25,756
Did you hack into my emails?
1450
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:27,599
Get the fuck out of here.
1451
01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:29,917
And never use that British accent again.
1452
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,639
Allison, are you okay?
1453
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:34,593
No! I'm not okay.
1454
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,952
My ex-husband
is dating a stripper,
1455
01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:39,152
Drew is cyberstalking me,
1456
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:40,760
and Fred from accounting
1457
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,911
is like a human fucking AMBER Alert.
1458
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:47,074
Don't I deserve to date
someone who is nice?
1459
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:48,714
Of course you do.
1460
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:51,156
Allison, you're an amazing person.
1461
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:53,795
You basically take care
of this whole office.
1462
01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:54,950
And you do it every day,
1463
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:56,952
even though most people
don't seem to notice.
1464
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:58,360
So, yeah,
1465
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:00,593
you deserve someone nice.
1466
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:01,950
Baby,
1467
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:05,079
I got your text.
Ooh, I missed you.
1468
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:06,954
Come on, let's dance.
1469
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:08,952
Just hang in there.
1470
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,835
Go, Rodney! Go, Rodney!
1471
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:25,515
Nate!
1472
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,592
Hey, man.
Larry from shipping here
1473
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:28,949
actually has a really great story
1474
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:30,275
that he wants to tell you.
1475
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,359
I was in the bathroom washing my face,
1476
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,120
and this girl came in, like,
1477
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,590
"I'll give you a handy
for $40."
1478
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:37,956
And the next thing I knew,
1479
01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:41,920
my penis was in her hand
and then she starts...
1480
01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,552
Okay, Larry, I know how a hand job works.
1481
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:46,194
I had no idea you guys were together.
1482
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:47,959
Wait, what are you talking about?
1483
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:51,317
So Becca gave Larry a hand job
in the men's room.
1484
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:52,955
Goddamn it!
1485
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,118
Ooh, ooh!
I'm going next.
1486
01:03:57,760 --> 01:03:59,831
I'm inspired! I'm going next.
1487
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:03,313
- No, I called it. I called it.
- No, no, wait.
1488
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,195
- I'm so happy for you!
- Oh, shit.
1489
01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:08,153
I was about to do my balls!
1490
01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:10,956
Hey! What about
the 3D printer?
1491
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:12,754
- Yes. Yes!
- Yeah?
1492
01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:14,194
I'm going first, I'm going first!
1493
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:52,112
Excuse me. Excuse me!
1494
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:53,750
Excuse me.
1495
01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:04,758
Raise your hands if
you're keeping your jobs!
1496
01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,753
Raise your hands if you're
gonna get a bonus!
1497
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:09,835
Excuse me.
1498
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,076
Clay?
1499
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:12,916
Clay!
1500
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,594
Oh, fuck.
1501
01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:16,155
Hey, sis.
1502
01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:17,590
Hey, hey, hey.
1503
01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:19,959
Carol, before you get mad,
Iisten to what I did.
1504
01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:21,076
I said no party!
1505
01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:22,954
That's all I said.
All you had to do was nothing,
1506
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,151
and you couldn't even do that!
Couldn't even do that!
1507
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:26,953
Carol, Carol, Carol!
1508
01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:28,310
This is not what you think, okay?
1509
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:29,595
This is all for a reason.
1510
01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:34,191
Listen. We threw this party
for Walter Davis,
1511
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:36,516
and we closed him, he wants
to give us his business.
1512
01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:37,756
- We did it.
- See?
1513
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:39,997
I'm not a failure. I'm a good
boss. The party worked!
1514
01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:42,519
- Walter Davis?
- Yeah.
1515
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:44,319
- Is at this party?
- That's right.
1516
01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:45,630
Where is he?
1517
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,390
I don't know. Where was he?
He was just on the stage.
1518
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:49,960
Oh... Guys? Guys!
1519
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:52,110
That's not good.
1520
01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:55,074
Here we go!
1521
01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:56,919
Do it! Do it! Do it!
1522
01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:58,713
No, no, no. Shh!
1523
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:01,520
- What are you doing?
- Hey, that was my idea.
1524
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:03,911
- Not relevant.
- Walter? Hey, buddy!
1525
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,952
Why don't you come down using the stairs?
1526
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,151
No. Clay, it's like you said!
1527
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:10,955
I want to do something
that scares me. To feel
1528
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:12,150
alive!
1529
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:13,954
Maybe not right now.
1530
01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:15,713
What did you guys do to him?
1531
01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:17,149
Let go of those lines, buddy!
1532
01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:21,077
I'm the king of I.T. buyers!
1533
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:23,110
Whoo!
1534
01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:28,314
- Oh!
- Shit!
1535
01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:30,356
Oh!
1536
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:31,954
Oh, God.
1537
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,156
So close.
1538
01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:39,910
Hey, Walter.
1539
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:40,950
You were like an eagle up there.
1540
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:42,799
You were free. You did it.
1541
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:43,996
Did we win?
1542
01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:45,714
Yeah, we won.
1543
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:48,112
Zenotek! Zenotek!
1544
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:49,795
That poor guy.
1545
01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:50,950
What a day he's had.
1546
01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:52,958
First he gets fired and now this.
1547
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:54,792
- Wait, what?
- Did you say fired?
1548
01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:55,950
Oh, yeah.
1549
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,958
Oh, he got fired at the close
of business today.
1550
01:06:57,960 --> 01:06:59,076
He told me, like, two hours ago.
1551
01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:00,959
They shipped his whole branch overseas.
1552
01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:01,950
What?
1553
01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:03,758
I confirmed it with
my H.R. Facebook group.
1554
01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:04,956
And they know everything.
1555
01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:08,080
Excuse me. Just to clarify,
because I'm detail-oriented.
1556
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:11,120
So you didn't get a contract
with Walter Davis
1557
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:13,631
because he didn't have a contract to give.
1558
01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:15,360
Carol, before you get mad,
here's the thing...
1559
01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:16,556
He wanted to work with us.
1560
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:17,756
- So...
- Clay. Clay!
1561
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:18,956
Yeah?
1562
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,634
I'm not mad.
1563
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:21,956
You're not?
1564
01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:24,555
I mean, I was mad when Dad
gave you this branch
1565
01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:26,952
just as a reward for taking six years
1566
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,953
to graduate with
a degree in... What is it?
1567
01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:33,354
Canadian television theory
with concentration in Drake.
1568
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:35,280
But this doesn't make me mad.
1569
01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:37,558
- I feel relieved.
- All right.
1570
01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:38,960
Because it's over.
1571
01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:42,156
- I'm shutting you down.
- Yeah, no, because it's late.
1572
01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:43,396
Allison got a clean-up crew
1573
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:44,596
- for tomorrow.
- Uh-huh.
1574
01:07:44,720 --> 01:07:47,713
No, Clay.
I'm terminating this branch.
1575
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,270
I'm such a dickhead.
I started to like this place,
1576
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,317
and then I get fucked.
I get fucked!
1577
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,756
No, no, no. Stop it, stop it.
Carol, let's take one beat.
1578
01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:55,950
Look, look, Carol. Carol.
1579
01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:57,110
I fucked up, okay, so blame me.
1580
01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,395
But these are good people.
1581
01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:00,797
You can't close this branch.
This is Dad's branch.
1582
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:01,950
Well, you know what?
He shouldn't have
1583
01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:03,155
given it to you to fuck up.
1584
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:08,350
Oh, and, uh, good luck
trying to be Mr Fun Guy
1585
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:10,598
when you have to fire all these people.
1586
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:11,756
Whoo!
1587
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:13,160
I'll see you in New York.
1588
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:14,316
Wait, what?
1589
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:15,914
Did your little friend not tell you?
1590
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:16,950
He's coming to work for me.
1591
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:18,076
Yeah, right.
1592
01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:19,310
I never said yes to that job.
1593
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,312
I don't recall you ever saying no.
1594
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:29,116
Clay.
1595
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:31,556
Clay, I never sa... Hey.
1596
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:32,950
Clay.
1597
01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:38,320
Oh, hey, Clay... You told me
you had a two-drink limit.
1598
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:41,079
Yeah. You're right.
1599
01:08:41,560 --> 01:08:44,758
Now, y'all didn't forget about DJ Calvis!
1600
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:46,718
Whoo!
1601
01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,555
I want to go back to the party!
1602
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:57,960
Whoo!
1603
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,713
Hey! What the hell?
1604
01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:02,394
I hired you to pretend
to be my girlfriend,
1605
01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,597
then you go and give all
my co-workers hand jobs?
1606
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,911
You hired me
to impress your co-workers,
1607
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:07,996
and he was pretty impressed.
1608
01:09:08,200 --> 01:09:10,556
- Listen, I want my money back.
- Well...
1609
01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:12,154
I'm sorry, what was that?
1610
01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:14,512
I couldn't hear you over my gun.
1611
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,355
- I, um, I want my money back.
- Oh.
1612
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:21,510
I'm sorry. Customer services
are not available right now,
1613
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,956
but perhaps I can address your grievance.
1614
01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:26,156
Um, everything's fine.
1615
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:27,953
Would you say like a five on Yelp,
1616
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:29,957
or like positive three?
1617
01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:30,950
Five.
1618
01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:32,309
Five? Alexei!
1619
01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:34,710
Uh...
1620
01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:36,756
This is so funny.
1621
01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,594
Do that thing where you pull
his asshole through his face.
1622
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:40,950
Don't please. Shit!
1623
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,191
Santa's gonna get fucked up tonight!
1624
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:45,951
Who wants to party with Santa?
1625
01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,400
Who the fuck is that?
1626
01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:49,154
You know what, that guy is really rich.
1627
01:09:49,280 --> 01:09:50,760
And he's really stupid.
1628
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,758
Well, then what are we doing
with Spelling Bee here?
1629
01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:54,354
Get outta here. Go!
1630
01:09:55,120 --> 01:09:57,954
Hey, Santa! Wanna party?
1631
01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:01,756
Yeah.
1632
01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:04,952
Tracey! Tracey! Hey.
1633
01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:06,950
Tracey!
1634
01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:08,270
Hey!
1635
01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:09,996
Tracey?
1636
01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:12,838
Tracey, are you in here?
1637
01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:15,155
Oh, pardon me.
1638
01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:16,556
Hello?
1639
01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:17,910
Oh.
1640
01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:20,191
Josh, it's happening.
1641
01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:22,155
Good for you.
1642
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:26,274
Hey, Tracey, which one are you in?
1643
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:29,952
Hi. Carol offered me a job,
but in no way did I say...
1644
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,314
Josh. I get it.
1645
01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:33,399
She offered me a job, too.
1646
01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:35,633
- What? She offered you a job?
- Yeah.
1647
01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:36,836
Triple the salary.
1648
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,553
An apartment overlooking Central Park.
1649
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:40,957
I got double and moving costs.
1650
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:43,191
The real difference is I said no.
1651
01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:44,959
Listen, I'm not fighting
with you about this.
1652
01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:45,996
It's silly.
I didn't take the job.
1653
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,192
Yeah. But you didn't
not take it, either.
1654
01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:50,956
Because you need a safety net.
Hey, that's who you are.
1655
01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:53,720
I'm happy for you.
You should go to New York.
1656
01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:57,320
Is that what you want?
You want me to go to New York?
1657
01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:59,552
There's a real human centipede situation
1658
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:00,710
happening in the men's room.
1659
01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:02,952
Tracey, please. Don't go.
1660
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,834
Whoa, this is almost the whole
marketing department in here.
1661
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,957
- Can I get a drink?
- Josh, Josh.
1662
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,189
Josh, where's Clay?
1663
01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:12,960
Asswipe loses everybody
their jobs and runs.
1664
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:14,719
How much did he spend on this party?
1665
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:15,950
He could have just given that money to us.
1666
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:17,110
Clay sucks.
1667
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:18,316
We should just kill him,
Iike on that podcast.
1668
01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:19,959
Put the Red Bull down.
1669
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,713
Respectfully, fuck you guys!
1670
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:23,633
Sorry, that was too much, but...
1671
01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:25,832
Clay cares more about people
1672
01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,189
than anyone I've ever met.
1673
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:29,154
He was gonna pay your bonuses tonight
1674
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:30,350
with the last of his money.
1675
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:31,636
What?
1676
01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:33,080
Yeah, he's broke.
Clay is broke.
1677
01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:34,350
Who do you think paid
1678
01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:36,113
for that bouncy house in accounting?
1679
01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,277
Training that dog to deliver the mail?
1680
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:41,155
The zip-Iine?
Doughnut Fridays?
1681
01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:42,600
It was all Clay!
1682
01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:43,950
He spent all of his money
1683
01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:45,799
trying to keep this branch afloat.
1684
01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:47,952
And whenever I questioned him
about it, he would say,
1685
01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:50,397
"Treat your employees
Iike they're your family
1686
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:51,960
"and they'll do great things
for you."
1687
01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:53,949
You guys, Clay just left to get drugs
1688
01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:55,150
with Becca and her pimp.
1689
01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:56,510
Wait... Who's Becca?
1690
01:11:56,720 --> 01:11:58,598
- Nate's whore.
- Hey, that's his girlfriend!
1691
01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:00,280
Nope, she's right.
1692
01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:02,194
Becca's a prostitute.
1693
01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:03,760
Oh, nice.
1694
01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:04,950
Oh. Nope.
1695
01:12:04,960 --> 01:12:06,599
Clay left to go get drugs with a pimp?
1696
01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:08,951
Yes. She has a gun
and a serious mood imbalance.
1697
01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:10,509
Fuck. Carol!
1698
01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:11,716
We have a problem.
1699
01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:13,359
Yeah, you have
Iots of problems. Good luck.
1700
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:15,394
Carol, excuse me.
1701
01:12:16,160 --> 01:12:17,799
Carol! Listen.
1702
01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:19,997
Clay has gone to get wasted
with a psychopath,
1703
01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:22,556
and he's got $300,000
strapped to his chest.
1704
01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:25,071
Ooh, that really does sound
Iike a big problem...
1705
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:26,590
For Clay.
1706
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:27,756
You already lost your dad.
1707
01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:29,513
If you lose Clay, you'll have no one.
1708
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,951
Trust me, that's not a place
you want to be.
1709
01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:34,794
- I don't care.
- What?
1710
01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:38,160
- Oh, boy. This woman...
- What is wrong with her?
1711
01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:41,070
Really?
1712
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:43,078
Guys! I don't know
what to do.
1713
01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:44,276
Clay's not picking up his phone.
1714
01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:46,513
I think I can locate him.
1715
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:48,600
This is so amazing to me, guys.
1716
01:12:48,720 --> 01:12:50,120
We can actually connect with, you know.
1717
01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:51,959
Yeah. Yeah. There we go.
1718
01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:53,076
- Amazing.
- Absolutely.
1719
01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:55,277
They're full of shit, okay?
They're not your soulmates.
1720
01:12:55,360 --> 01:12:56,635
They just hacked your Facebook.
1721
01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:59,270
- That's horseshit!
- Unbelievable. So uncool.
1722
01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:00,396
- Hey, wait!
- No, no, no, girls!
1723
01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,270
I knew you didn't like the Gilmore Girls.
1724
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:04,954
Okay, I'm gonna need both of you assclowns
1725
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,072
to hack into Clay's phone
so we can find him.
1726
01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:08,959
Come on, why would
we help you, dude, seriously?
1727
01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:10,719
Yeah, why would we help you?
1728
01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:13,634
Because I'm your fucking boss,
and I'm telling you to.
1729
01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:16,634
- He can't touch him!
- I'll allow it.
1730
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,957
Ooh, there's a car on fire.
Did the Bears win?
1731
01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:32,758
What are you looking at?
1732
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:37,150
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Oh, Jesus.
1733
01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:41,519
Hey, if everybody's fired,
1734
01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:44,594
Iet's burn this place to the ground, baby!
1735
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:47,957
Hey! Hey, what department
are you in?
1736
01:13:48,080 --> 01:13:49,514
I don't work here.
1737
01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:52,076
Let's do this, baby!
Who's with me?
1738
01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:54,950
Fuck.
1739
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,790
If I tell y'all one more time to back up,
1740
01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:06,957
it's gonna be a problem.
I'm not playing with y'all!
1741
01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:08,314
Carla! Carla!
I need you to go upstairs
1742
01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:09,993
and lock this shit down.
We gotta go help Clay.
1743
01:14:10,160 --> 01:14:11,196
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck that!
1744
01:14:11,320 --> 01:14:13,960
The security guard was the
first one to go in Die Hard.
1745
01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:16,999
Carla, this is the one
you knew would come.
1746
01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:18,549
Be our John McClane.
1747
01:14:19,120 --> 01:14:20,190
I'm on it.
1748
01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:22,756
Hey.
1749
01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:23,956
In case it gets dark.
1750
01:14:26,280 --> 01:14:27,999
Who wants to get tased?
1751
01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:31,792
Okay, where's your car?
1752
01:14:31,960 --> 01:14:33,917
I took a cab. I thought
we were gonna take your car.
1753
01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:34,950
No, I took the EI.
1754
01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:38,639
Let's go get our Santa.
1755
01:14:38,760 --> 01:14:39,796
- Great!
- Oh.
1756
01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:42,913
Come on! No, don't.
It's a lift and pull.
1757
01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:44,514
You're jerking it!
Jesus Christ, let me do it.
1758
01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:45,716
- I'm pulling out.
- Oh!
1759
01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:47,598
All right. Yeah, it's...
It's locked.
1760
01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:48,950
Thanks.
1761
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:51,639
Get in. Come on.
1762
01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:54,560
What'd you get all over your seats?
1763
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:55,950
Oh, no, it's from the parrots.
1764
01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:57,599
Relax, it's not poop.
It's some...
1765
01:14:57,800 --> 01:14:59,917
It's genital secretions.
It's mating season.
1766
01:14:59,960 --> 01:15:01,917
- Oh.
- Should be dry.
1767
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,111
Okay. Nate says
Clay's on the South Side.
1768
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,919
He is not gonna fuck this up for me.
1769
01:15:09,280 --> 01:15:11,511
The board will vote me CEO.
1770
01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:14,280
That is happening.
So let's just do this, okay?
1771
01:15:15,760 --> 01:15:17,956
- Can this thing handle snow?
- Oh, please. It's a Kia.
1772
01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:19,759
It's what God would drive.
1773
01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:35,520
Oh!
1774
01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:37,956
Guys, you know, the thing is,
I told everybody
1775
01:15:37,960 --> 01:15:39,713
they were gonna be okay,
but then they weren't.
1776
01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:42,719
And so, I broke a Christmas
promise, which...
1777
01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:45,359
Is basically the worst thing you can do.
1778
01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:48,071
I mean, it is so stressful being the boss.
1779
01:15:48,160 --> 01:15:49,594
Nobody ever talks about that.
1780
01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:50,956
No. No, not at all.
1781
01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:51,950
And if you want to complain about it,
1782
01:15:51,960 --> 01:15:54,077
everybody's like,
"Oh, boo-hoo you, rich Santa."
1783
01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:55,640
Yeah, no one gives a shit!
1784
01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:56,956
I can't call people up and be like,
1785
01:15:56,960 --> 01:15:58,713
"Oh! I'm having
a bad pimp day."
1786
01:15:58,920 --> 01:15:59,956
See, you understand.
1787
01:16:00,080 --> 01:16:03,278
I get clients calling me 24/7.
Middle of the night, 3:00 AM:
1788
01:16:03,520 --> 01:16:04,715
Brring, brring, brring!
1789
01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:06,832
"Hey, I need anal,
Iike yesterday."
1790
01:16:06,960 --> 01:16:07,950
Yeah, the same with me!
1791
01:16:07,960 --> 01:16:09,599
Except instead of anal, it's data storage.
1792
01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:11,792
Or, "I'm, like, chairing a PTA meeting.
1793
01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:13,354
"Can you have someone blow me
in the gymnasium?"
1794
01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:14,954
Yeah, absolutely.
It never ends.
1795
01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:17,959
Or, like, "Hey, your girl
just stabbed me in the leg
1796
01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:19,155
"and now I'm bleeding out
in the alleyway."
1797
01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:21,713
I don't relate to that as much.
1798
01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:24,071
It's mental, right?
How much people lean on you?
1799
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:26,795
And my sister wanted me to be a failure,
1800
01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:28,912
and I was, so she's not gonna let that go.
1801
01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:31,520
That's the problem of
working with family, though.
1802
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:34,071
- Yeah.
- You can never escape them.
1803
01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:36,557
You can never escape them.
1804
01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:38,189
But you know what,
you're gonna be fine, man.
1805
01:16:38,320 --> 01:16:39,356
You know why?
1806
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:41,273
'Cause you've got all that money, honey.
1807
01:16:41,720 --> 01:16:43,951
Yeah, that's the thing.
I don't, actually.
1808
01:16:44,080 --> 01:16:45,912
I spent it all trying
to keep the branch open.
1809
01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:48,600
All I have left is just $300,000 cash.
1810
01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:50,155
You have 300 grand.
1811
01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:51,760
Oh, my gosh. Whenever
I'm that low in my account,
1812
01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:53,354
I'm just like, "Kill me."
1813
01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:55,074
Uh, so where is the money?
1814
01:16:55,280 --> 01:16:58,717
- It's on my person. It's safe.
- It's in your personal safe?
1815
01:16:59,800 --> 01:17:01,792
Okay, we're close.
No, no, this is it! This is...
1816
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:03,798
There's a spot! Right there.
You passed it!
1817
01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:07,792
Careful. Easy.
1818
01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:10,910
Oh!
1819
01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:12,954
That's how you park a minivan.
1820
01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:14,719
- Jeez!
- Very impressive.
1821
01:17:14,920 --> 01:17:17,594
Okay, Nate, are you sure
about this address here?
1822
01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:19,951
Yes. 92765 Union Street.
1823
01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:23,120
That's where the pin is.
Uh, Red Square Club.
1824
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:26,798
Brian, I can see you fucking on my desk!
1825
01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:30,795
Uh...
1826
01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:33,836
- I'll go see what's going on.
- Okay.
1827
01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:35,920
This is it.
1828
01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:39,390
Oh, my God.
1829
01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:44,196
Well, maybe he deserved it.
Who knows?
1830
01:17:44,400 --> 01:17:45,754
Here we go, guys.
Come on.
1831
01:17:45,960 --> 01:17:47,952
Quickly? Because I don't know
what's gonna happen in there.
1832
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:50,950
Last year I filed
a sexual harassment complaint
1833
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,195
against myself.
1834
01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:53,959
- Against yourself.
- Mmm-hmm.
1835
01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:58,556
Andrew, in the copy room,
he was changing the toner.
1836
01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:01,191
And I pretended to drop
something on the ground
1837
01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:03,194
so that I could bend over
1838
01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,959
and graze his butt with my nose.
1839
01:18:05,960 --> 01:18:06,950
And I did.
1840
01:18:11,960 --> 01:18:14,316
- That doesn't seem that bad.
- And then I said,
1841
01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:18,634
"If you don't fuck me, buster,
I will ruin you."
1842
01:18:18,960 --> 01:18:20,155
Hmm. That's harassment.
1843
01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:22,154
That's why he quit.
1844
01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:24,950
You seem like you feel better.
Here we go.
1845
01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:26,116
Wait! No, guys,
1846
01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:28,272
we can't go in there looking like this.
1847
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:32,070
Hey, Carol?
1848
01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:34,314
Why don't you give me your coat?
1849
01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:51,798
- How we doing tonight?
- Private party. Members only.
1850
01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:54,394
Well, I'm a businessman.
1851
01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:55,960
These are my business ladies
1852
01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:58,192
of the night. You hear
what I'm saying to you?
1853
01:18:58,640 --> 01:18:59,790
They only come out at night.
1854
01:18:59,920 --> 01:19:01,070
- Okay. Okay.
- Mostly for parties.
1855
01:19:08,360 --> 01:19:10,511
It's a beautiful language.
1856
01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:14,713
Nice, Carol.
1857
01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:21,953
Seems like an appropriate setting
1858
01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:23,593
for an emotional rock bottom.
1859
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:27,957
Oh, there's a back room.
1860
01:19:37,720 --> 01:19:38,756
Hi.
1861
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,071
How you doing? Have you
seen a guy in a Santa suit?
1862
01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:43,272
Fuck you.
I don't tell you anything.
1863
01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:44,954
- All right, now listen here.
- Nuh-uh-uh.
1864
01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:52,396
Hi. Me again. Where's Santa?
1865
01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:53,989
Fuck you.
1866
01:19:54,720 --> 01:19:56,951
You do not want to die at
the hands of Lululemon here.
1867
01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:58,953
It'd be real embarrassing.
You're a large guy,
1868
01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:01,595
and she's made of nothing
but salad and Smartwater.
1869
01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:03,956
Nope, no tap outs.
1870
01:20:05,080 --> 01:20:06,719
Back door? Thank you.
1871
01:20:06,960 --> 01:20:08,360
- Bitch.
- What?
1872
01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:11,116
Was that too much?
1873
01:20:11,320 --> 01:20:13,118
- Just a little.
- I loved it.
1874
01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:14,550
Let's go.
1875
01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:16,792
- Hey!
- Oh, God.
1876
01:20:16,960 --> 01:20:18,360
Oh. Go. I got this. Go, go.
1877
01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:19,954
Okay. Enjoy.
1878
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:23,273
Come on, let's party.
1879
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:27,837
Vin Diesel ain't got shit on me!
1880
01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:28,996
Clay!
1881
01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:31,639
What did he say?
1882
01:20:31,760 --> 01:20:32,796
I think I know where they're going.
1883
01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:33,956
Let's get the car. Come on!
1884
01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:39,280
Let's go!
1885
01:20:41,960 --> 01:20:42,950
Excuse me. Excuse me.
1886
01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:45,276
Hey, Mary?
Mary, get in the car!
1887
01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:48,360
Damn it.
1888
01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:05,110
# God rest ye merry gentlemen
1889
01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:08,639
# Let nothing you dismay
1890
01:21:09,960 --> 01:21:13,158
# Remember Christ the Saviour
1891
01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:16,838
# Was born on Christmas Day
1892
01:21:17,640 --> 01:21:21,395
# To save us all from Satan's power
1893
01:21:21,840 --> 01:21:24,355
# When we were gone astray
1894
01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:30,717
# Tidings of comfort and joy
1895
01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:32,514
# Comfort and joy
1896
01:21:32,960 --> 01:21:36,749
# Oh, tidings of comfort
1897
01:21:36,960 --> 01:21:40,317
# Comfort and joy! #
1898
01:21:59,760 --> 01:22:02,320
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, I fucked up. I did.
1899
01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:03,955
I lost a lot of people's jobs.
1900
01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:05,838
I hurt a lot of good people tonight.
1901
01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:07,360
Oh, yeah, totally. Cool story.
1902
01:22:07,520 --> 01:22:08,715
Are we coming up
to your apartment building
1903
01:22:08,800 --> 01:22:09,995
on the left, to the right, or...
1904
01:22:10,200 --> 01:22:11,395
We're not going to my apartment.
1905
01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:12,630
Uh, yes, we are.
1906
01:22:12,840 --> 01:22:14,399
We are going to your apartment
to go to the safe.
1907
01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,632
There's nothing safe
about what we're gonna do.
1908
01:22:16,960 --> 01:22:18,280
Yeah, it's like you said, you know.
1909
01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:20,750
We need to escape them,
so that's what we're gonna do.
1910
01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:22,553
- Red light.
- What the fuck
1911
01:22:22,760 --> 01:22:23,955
are you talking about?
There's a red light!
1912
01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:24,950
That's a red light!
1913
01:22:27,600 --> 01:22:29,159
Oh, yeah!
1914
01:22:29,840 --> 01:22:32,309
We go right through 'em.
They're just suggestions.
1915
01:22:35,640 --> 01:22:37,120
- Can you look at that fuck?
- Oh, the fucking windshield.
1916
01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:38,316
Are you kidding? Not now!
1917
01:22:38,400 --> 01:22:40,392
That's the A.C., Josh.
We don't need that right now.
1918
01:22:40,600 --> 01:22:41,636
What about that?
1919
01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:42,910
Oh. No,
that's the recirculating mode.
1920
01:22:42,960 --> 01:22:45,953
How am I gonna run Zenotek
without this Genius Bar?
1921
01:22:45,960 --> 01:22:47,076
You can get up here
and help if you'd like.
1922
01:22:47,160 --> 01:22:48,560
Okay, my seat's getting hotter.
1923
01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:49,956
Mary, why do you even have a minivan?
1924
01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:51,997
- You don't have kids.
- I buy in bulk!
1925
01:22:52,560 --> 01:22:53,710
- Oh! It's them!
- Yeah.
1926
01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:54,950
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
good eyes.
1927
01:22:55,080 --> 01:22:56,958
Oh, God! What's that smell?
1928
01:22:56,960 --> 01:22:58,076
I'm gonna be honest with you,
1929
01:22:58,160 --> 01:22:59,514
I have been farting this entire time.
1930
01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:04,954
Oh, my gosh.
1931
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,150
Okay, you know what,
1932
01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:07,953
take me to your personal safe right now.
1933
01:23:08,160 --> 01:23:09,514
We don't need money where we're going.
1934
01:23:09,720 --> 01:23:10,949
- Where are we going?
- For glory.
1935
01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:12,076
The Clark Street Bridge.
1936
01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:13,555
This time of night it'll be up.
1937
01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:15,950
We're gonna jump the bridge
and never look back.
1938
01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:24,196
Okay, new game. Pull over.
1939
01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:25,390
Just pull over or I'll tuck and roll.
1940
01:23:25,560 --> 01:23:26,789
- No, no, no. Trina, Trina.
- Just slow down.
1941
01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,713
Trina, I've been thinking
about this for a while.
1942
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:29,916
We can make this jump.
1943
01:23:29,960 --> 01:23:30,950
I let a lot of people down,
1944
01:23:30,960 --> 01:23:32,519
but I'm not gonna let you guys down.
1945
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,956
We're gonna escape our
families and become anew!
1946
01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:36,355
Pull over right now.
1947
01:23:36,520 --> 01:23:38,079
Or I shoot you in the fucking brain.
1948
01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:39,600
Well, you can't shoot him,
1949
01:23:39,720 --> 01:23:41,279
because then he's gonna crash the car.
1950
01:23:41,520 --> 01:23:43,591
Really, Savannah? Really?
1951
01:23:43,800 --> 01:23:44,950
Why don't you put it in an email
1952
01:23:44,960 --> 01:23:45,996
and c.c. everyone, all right?
1953
01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:47,918
Make double sure everyone got it.
1954
01:23:48,600 --> 01:23:50,796
You know what, you should
start a podcast, Savannah,
1955
01:23:50,920 --> 01:23:53,071
called "Savannah Says Fucking
Stupid Things Out Loud."
1956
01:23:59,960 --> 01:24:00,950
Clay!
1957
01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:02,594
Clay!
Hey, listen, I'm sorry!
1958
01:24:02,720 --> 01:24:03,995
I was never gonna take that job.
1959
01:24:04,320 --> 01:24:05,390
Not good enough!
1960
01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:07,074
Do not jump that bridge.
1961
01:24:07,280 --> 01:24:09,954
I have to do this.
Carol's right, I'm a fuckup!
1962
01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:12,396
Shit!
1963
01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:20,720
Pull over, you fucking idiot!
1964
01:24:20,960 --> 01:24:23,350
Or, the nice supportive version?
1965
01:24:23,720 --> 01:24:26,076
Pull over, fucking idiot!
1966
01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:27,316
No.
1967
01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:29,079
Hey, tell him to pull over, lady!
1968
01:24:29,280 --> 01:24:33,274
Look. Pull over! Pull over!
Pull over! It doesn't work!
1969
01:24:33,720 --> 01:24:36,360
- It's not working.
- None of it works!
1970
01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:37,795
Hey, Clay,
1971
01:24:37,960 --> 01:24:40,714
you jump that bridge, I'm going with you.
1972
01:24:40,920 --> 01:24:41,956
What? No!
1973
01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:43,355
Yes, I am.
1974
01:24:43,520 --> 01:24:45,955
Did you say hit it
at 80 or 90, Vin Diesel?
1975
01:24:46,640 --> 01:24:48,950
- Put it into sport.
- Here we go.
1976
01:24:51,720 --> 01:24:53,518
Josh, I'm sorry that I said you were safe.
1977
01:24:53,920 --> 01:24:55,798
- You don't have to do this.
- Yes, I do.
1978
01:24:55,960 --> 01:24:57,917
Josh, what are you doing, man?
1979
01:24:57,960 --> 01:24:59,917
You go, we all go!
1980
01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:01,950
Fuck.
1981
01:25:02,840 --> 01:25:04,832
I love America!
1982
01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:12,834
I am not gonna die in a minivan.
1983
01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:15,760
Hey, hey, hey!
Get off the wheel!
1984
01:25:59,960 --> 01:26:02,634
We could've made that bridge, panty hose.
1985
01:26:04,320 --> 01:26:05,640
Where's Clay?
1986
01:26:13,320 --> 01:26:15,960
It was on your person.
1987
01:26:21,920 --> 01:26:23,639
What did we hit?
1988
01:26:23,960 --> 01:26:25,952
The collision severed
the primary fibre line,
1989
01:26:26,080 --> 01:26:27,639
as well as its backup,
1990
01:26:27,840 --> 01:26:29,752
paralyzing lnternet, DSL,
1991
01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:31,957
and cellular communications citywide.
1992
01:26:32,200 --> 01:26:34,351
So if you haven't ordered
your holiday gifts early,
1993
01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:36,637
you may not be able to order them at all.
1994
01:26:36,960 --> 01:26:38,952
I quit, by the way!
1995
01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:41,390
You quit what? What, Savannah?
What'd you quit?
1996
01:26:41,640 --> 01:26:43,154
Just a couple of normal girls here.
1997
01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:44,954
Move it, move it!
Clear!
1998
01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:46,554
The Internet's down.
1999
01:26:46,960 --> 01:26:48,314
My brother needs a doctor!
2000
01:26:48,560 --> 01:26:49,959
Ma'am, you're gonna
need to wait your turn.
2001
01:26:49,960 --> 01:26:51,394
Will you find someone
that will help my brother?
2002
01:26:51,760 --> 01:26:53,956
All of you, just back up!
2003
01:26:54,200 --> 01:26:57,318
Back up. Make a single
file line against that wall
2004
01:26:57,560 --> 01:27:00,951
and she will be with you
when she has a fucking minute!
2005
01:27:09,360 --> 01:27:12,558
You know, you trying to jump
that bridge was really...
2006
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,951
Brave?
That what you were going for?
2007
01:27:15,960 --> 01:27:17,713
No. Stupid.
I was gonna say stupid.
2008
01:27:17,800 --> 01:27:19,757
No. I... I would say brave.
2009
01:27:19,840 --> 01:27:21,797
- A little brave.
- Yeah. Hi.
2010
01:27:21,960 --> 01:27:23,952
- Hey, how is he?
- Oh. He's fine.
2011
01:27:24,000 --> 01:27:25,912
In fact, the doctor said that the crash
2012
01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:28,395
actually fixed a previous fracture.
2013
01:27:28,960 --> 01:27:30,792
He's got...
He's got this gift.
2014
01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:32,115
I don't... I don't get it.
2015
01:27:32,360 --> 01:27:34,556
- Oh. Thank God he's okay.
- Oh, well...
2016
01:27:34,960 --> 01:27:37,111
So, maybe you'll reconsider
firing everyone?
2017
01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:39,790
Once it gets out there
that we caused this crash,
2018
01:27:39,920 --> 01:27:40,990
the board finds out,
2019
01:27:41,320 --> 01:27:43,312
my ass is fired.
No one has a job.
2020
01:27:43,760 --> 01:27:45,911
- So...
- Carol?
2021
01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:48,276
Is now a good time to exchange
insurance information
2022
01:27:48,360 --> 01:27:49,635
for the car stuff?
2023
01:27:49,840 --> 01:27:52,639
It's not. You know, we
would've made it, by the way.
2024
01:27:52,840 --> 01:27:54,957
- At the speed you were going?
- Comfortably.
2025
01:27:55,080 --> 01:27:57,117
Please. To make that jump,
with that incline,
2026
01:27:57,200 --> 01:27:59,157
you would have had to
at least been going...
2027
01:27:59,360 --> 01:28:00,953
- 110.
- 95.
2028
01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:03,960
No, 95.
2029
01:28:04,640 --> 01:28:07,200
- It's simple math.
- Oh. Well, okay.
2030
01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:09,278
It might be simple on paper,
2031
01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:12,398
but you're forgetting the
wind, the weight of the Kia,
2032
01:28:12,960 --> 01:28:14,633
the four of us,
2033
01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:16,316
bird cages...
2034
01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:19,798
I prefer to call them bird
condos, and so do the birds.
2035
01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:22,755
Point being, you have
to adjust your numbers
2036
01:28:22,840 --> 01:28:25,150
to account for real world conditions.
2037
01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:28,958
Simple. Or did they not teach
you that in hacker college?
2038
01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:30,276
You're right.
2039
01:28:30,400 --> 01:28:31,516
Thank you.
2040
01:28:32,000 --> 01:28:33,320
No, not about that.
2041
01:28:33,400 --> 01:28:35,198
Although hacker college
does sound awesome.
2042
01:28:35,960 --> 01:28:38,111
It's AnywAir.
I've been doing it wrong.
2043
01:28:40,600 --> 01:28:42,831
I... I've been treating
the power grid
2044
01:28:42,960 --> 01:28:44,713
as if it was
a seamless source of Internet.
2045
01:28:44,960 --> 01:28:47,270
It's not seamless, it's messy.
It...
2046
01:28:48,160 --> 01:28:49,958
But if there was an opportunity
2047
01:28:50,960 --> 01:28:52,952
where the conditions were just right.
2048
01:28:53,720 --> 01:28:56,758
If we were inside of a vacuum.
If it was still.
2049
01:28:57,160 --> 01:28:58,958
Oh, my God.
2050
01:28:59,160 --> 01:29:00,958
- An Internet blackout.
- An Internet blackout!
2051
01:29:01,120 --> 01:29:02,156
Let's get you back to the office.
2052
01:29:02,280 --> 01:29:03,316
- Yes!
- Come on.
2053
01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:06,077
I'm gonna text you that claims form, yeah?
2054
01:29:14,960 --> 01:29:17,953
- I'm sorry, Mary.
- Go save the company!
2055
01:29:43,960 --> 01:29:45,360
Mum?
2056
01:29:46,960 --> 01:29:48,155
Dad?
2057
01:30:11,600 --> 01:30:12,636
Oh, my...
2058
01:30:15,320 --> 01:30:16,913
Oh. Hey.
2059
01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:18,196
Hey.
2060
01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:22,996
Carla!
2061
01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:24,395
- Wassup?
- Morning.
2062
01:30:24,600 --> 01:30:26,956
I tased as many as I could, but...
2063
01:30:27,360 --> 01:30:29,591
Yeah. Well, I actually thought
it was gonna be worse, so...
2064
01:30:29,960 --> 01:30:30,950
Uh-uh!
2065
01:30:31,080 --> 01:30:33,720
I see you, bitch!
Uh-uh, bitch, I see you!
2066
01:30:33,960 --> 01:30:35,553
Your office was locked, right?
2067
01:30:35,640 --> 01:30:36,915
Yeah, of course.
2068
01:30:37,080 --> 01:30:39,834
- What... What's happening?
- Did you guys find Clay?
2069
01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:50,758
- Sorry. Old habit.
- Sure.
2070
01:30:51,080 --> 01:30:53,515
Okay. So, what...
You're writing an algorithm
2071
01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:55,637
that can respond to the grid in real time?
2072
01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:57,399
- That's gonna take...
- Done.
2073
01:30:58,720 --> 01:30:59,756
Forever.
2074
01:31:00,160 --> 01:31:02,356
Nate! How's that server bank?
2075
01:31:02,840 --> 01:31:04,797
Still covered in beer!
Five minutes!
2076
01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:06,599
I hope it's beer.
2077
01:31:07,960 --> 01:31:08,996
Hey.
2078
01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:10,395
Uh, about what happened...
2079
01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:11,959
All good.
Everyone has their thing.
2080
01:31:11,960 --> 01:31:14,077
I know it seems weird,
but I just crave discipline.
2081
01:31:14,160 --> 01:31:15,833
My family had no set meal times.
2082
01:31:15,960 --> 01:31:18,077
Yeah, it's cool. I don't
need your origin story.
2083
01:31:18,320 --> 01:31:20,357
Promise me you won't tell anyone?
2084
01:31:20,800 --> 01:31:22,393
- I'll do your taxes!
- Deal.
2085
01:31:22,760 --> 01:31:23,796
Great.
2086
01:31:23,960 --> 01:31:26,953
Oh, my God, the office.
Hey, guys, I got doughnuts!
2087
01:31:27,160 --> 01:31:29,959
I got, uh, jelly and glazed and, uh,
2088
01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:31,953
some other stuff.
But no Cronuts,
2089
01:31:31,960 --> 01:31:33,360
that's a bastard pastry.
2090
01:31:36,960 --> 01:31:38,633
I still hate your rules.
2091
01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:41,631
But your dancing is
2092
01:31:41,960 --> 01:31:43,394
wild and free.
2093
01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:45,792
Like an unmanned fire hose.
2094
01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,758
Put your pants on.
2095
01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:54,070
For now.
2096
01:31:56,080 --> 01:31:57,753
Now, we can't fix the Internet
2097
01:31:57,840 --> 01:31:58,956
if we can't get on the Internet.
2098
01:31:58,960 --> 01:32:00,189
Everything is down.
2099
01:32:00,400 --> 01:32:01,720
Okay, well, all the phones are working.
2100
01:32:01,800 --> 01:32:02,950
What about a dial-up modem?
2101
01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:04,314
Great. Now all you need
is a RadioShack
2102
01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:05,550
and a time machine.
2103
01:32:05,640 --> 01:32:08,155
- Oh, the G1 had it, right?
- There's one in Clay's office.
2104
01:32:08,320 --> 01:32:09,356
I got the desk. Get the desk.
2105
01:32:09,520 --> 01:32:11,910
Okay, give me the wires.
Plug it in here. Give me that.
2106
01:32:11,960 --> 01:32:14,077
Hey, I could use some of
that giddy-up in H.R.
2107
01:32:14,160 --> 01:32:15,958
if you two ponies
are looking for a new stable.
2108
01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:17,116
I am looking for a new stable, Mary.
2109
01:32:17,200 --> 01:32:18,316
Thank you so much.
We'll talk later.
2110
01:32:18,560 --> 01:32:19,596
Mary, you're showing a lot of neck.
2111
01:32:19,720 --> 01:32:20,790
Breaking your own rules.
2112
01:32:20,960 --> 01:32:22,758
It's a little skanky, isn't it?
2113
01:32:22,960 --> 01:32:24,314
- Plug it in.
- Plugged in.
2114
01:32:24,560 --> 01:32:25,960
Uh, I got this D.J. equipment,
2115
01:32:26,080 --> 01:32:27,116
if you want to use that for something.
2116
01:32:27,320 --> 01:32:28,993
Okay, that's not gonna help,
but thank you.
2117
01:32:29,360 --> 01:32:30,396
All right, guys.
2118
01:32:31,120 --> 01:32:32,156
What now?
2119
01:32:32,360 --> 01:32:34,750
I press "Enter," it launches
the protocol, and then...
2120
01:32:34,840 --> 01:32:36,115
And then everybody gets
back on the Internet.
2121
01:32:36,200 --> 01:32:37,350
Hopefully.
2122
01:32:37,520 --> 01:32:38,954
Or I blow up the power grid.
2123
01:32:39,160 --> 01:32:41,072
- So be ready for that.
- Okay?
2124
01:32:41,280 --> 01:32:43,511
Don't worry about that.
Just hit "Enter."
2125
01:32:43,800 --> 01:32:44,950
Okay, guys.
2126
01:32:45,800 --> 01:32:46,836
Here we go.
2127
01:32:55,960 --> 01:32:57,553
Power's still on.
2128
01:32:57,640 --> 01:32:59,199
Yeah, I'm honestly shocked by that.
2129
01:32:59,400 --> 01:33:00,754
No Internet yet, though.
2130
01:33:00,840 --> 01:33:01,956
It could take a few seconds.
2131
01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:03,792
If it works, you'll have
a connection alert.
2132
01:33:04,160 --> 01:33:05,913
- No.
- No, nothing.
2133
01:33:06,080 --> 01:33:07,719
Nothing yet.
2134
01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:10,959
- No? Anybody?
- No.
2135
01:33:11,080 --> 01:33:12,196
No, nothing.
2136
01:33:12,320 --> 01:33:13,356
Josh?
2137
01:33:13,560 --> 01:33:14,914
No. Just give it
a little more time.
2138
01:33:17,320 --> 01:33:18,959
Maybe it wasn't ready.
2139
01:33:19,320 --> 01:33:20,993
Tracey, hey.
2140
01:33:21,400 --> 01:33:22,834
It's ready.
2141
01:33:23,160 --> 01:33:25,516
Still dead.
Waiting for it. Still dead.
2142
01:33:31,960 --> 01:33:32,950
- Is that you?
- Got it.
2143
01:33:33,080 --> 01:33:34,116
- Got it!
- Oh, my God.
2144
01:33:34,560 --> 01:33:36,313
- Yep, I got it.
- Oh, my God!
2145
01:33:36,720 --> 01:33:37,949
- Was that you?
- I got it!
2146
01:33:38,080 --> 01:33:39,150
Yeah, I got it, too!
2147
01:33:39,560 --> 01:33:42,394
I got mine! Yeah.
Yeah, there's mine. Holy shit!
2148
01:33:42,840 --> 01:33:44,069
- Tracey!
- You did it!
2149
01:34:07,760 --> 01:34:09,319
Work never stops.
You see that?
2150
01:34:09,560 --> 01:34:11,392
Excuse me. Excuse me.
2151
01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:14,196
Hello, yes. I am happy for
you, but I do need you to
2152
01:34:14,400 --> 01:34:16,551
sign a personal
relationship disclosure form
2153
01:34:16,640 --> 01:34:17,756
before this rounds first.
2154
01:34:17,840 --> 01:34:19,399
No. No, I don't think so.
2155
01:34:19,640 --> 01:34:21,996
Hey, Mary, sign this.
2156
01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:25,192
Oh. Oh, you know what?
Um, I really like you,
2157
01:34:25,560 --> 01:34:27,631
um, but maybe we could get,
Iike, a cup of coffee first,
2158
01:34:27,760 --> 01:34:28,830
or something?
2159
01:34:28,960 --> 01:34:30,838
Yeah! Totally.
2160
01:34:30,960 --> 01:34:33,191
That's what I meant by,
"Sign this."
2161
01:34:33,640 --> 01:34:35,199
- You know what? Forget it.
- Okay.
2162
01:34:46,080 --> 01:34:48,276
Glass of wine in a family photo?
2163
01:34:48,520 --> 01:34:50,751
Look at him in that suit.
What a stud.
2164
01:34:51,080 --> 01:34:53,072
He wore that better than you.
2165
01:34:53,280 --> 01:34:55,715
Yeah, he did a lot of things
better than me.
2166
01:34:55,960 --> 01:34:57,633
You're right to be pissed at me.
2167
01:34:57,840 --> 01:34:59,160
You know, I always got to do
whatever I wanted
2168
01:34:59,280 --> 01:35:00,350
and you always ended up
2169
01:35:00,520 --> 01:35:01,590
with the shit end of the stick.
2170
01:35:01,840 --> 01:35:03,194
It wasn't fair.
2171
01:35:04,560 --> 01:35:05,994
I'm sorry, sis.
2172
01:35:06,840 --> 01:35:08,957
Thank you for that.
2173
01:35:09,840 --> 01:35:11,832
You never got to be the fun one, huh?
2174
01:35:11,960 --> 01:35:13,713
- I mean, I could have. Right?
- Yeah.
2175
01:35:13,800 --> 01:35:14,995
- Sure.
- I have... I have a fun side.
2176
01:35:15,200 --> 01:35:17,396
I've seen it many a time.
2177
01:35:17,640 --> 01:35:18,756
I mean...
2178
01:35:18,960 --> 01:35:20,758
Off the top of my head, I...
2179
01:35:20,960 --> 01:35:22,952
Remember that Thanksgiving
that you taught everybody
2180
01:35:22,960 --> 01:35:24,758
the real rules of Monopoly?
2181
01:35:24,960 --> 01:35:26,952
With the bidding wars and
the strict time limit and...
2182
01:35:27,120 --> 01:35:29,316
- Yeah, that wasn't fun.
- I know.
2183
01:35:29,560 --> 01:35:32,917
Hi! My pain is at
a 9 or a 10 or 11.
2184
01:35:32,960 --> 01:35:34,553
Whatever on the chart, the...
2185
01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:35,950
That face?
2186
01:35:36,320 --> 01:35:37,595
So can I get some Dilaudid
2187
01:35:37,720 --> 01:35:39,313
in another one of
those little gelatine cups?
2188
01:35:39,760 --> 01:35:41,956
You can't buy those.
I looked it up.
2189
01:35:44,760 --> 01:35:46,956
Huh. The Internet's back up.
2190
01:35:47,560 --> 01:35:49,631
What the hell is a Zenotek?
2191
01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:51,315
- What?
- What?
2192
01:35:52,920 --> 01:35:56,914
Oh, my God!
She did it. She did it!
2193
01:35:56,960 --> 01:35:58,713
- Shut the fuck door!
- Oh.
2194
01:35:58,920 --> 01:35:59,956
I gotta tell you, I was always like,
2195
01:35:59,960 --> 01:36:01,519
"Tracey, this doesn't make any sense,"
2196
01:36:01,720 --> 01:36:03,154
and she was like, "Words, words, words
2197
01:36:03,280 --> 01:36:04,953
"and some numbers."
But she did it.
2198
01:36:05,760 --> 01:36:06,910
Oh, my God.
2199
01:36:06,960 --> 01:36:08,553
Wait. So, this means everybody
gets to keep their jobs?
2200
01:36:08,640 --> 01:36:09,756
Everybody gets to keep their jobs.
2201
01:36:09,840 --> 01:36:10,956
Yes!
2202
01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:13,117
God, I am gonna be CEO.
2203
01:36:13,560 --> 01:36:15,119
Because you deserve it.
2204
01:36:15,800 --> 01:36:17,951
And you throw a great fucking party.
2205
01:36:18,200 --> 01:36:20,317
Yeah. I did, didn't I?
2206
01:36:21,400 --> 01:36:22,959
- Oh! Walter.
- Walter.
2207
01:36:23,960 --> 01:36:24,996
- Oh, hello.
- Hi.
2208
01:36:25,400 --> 01:36:27,198
- Carol.
- Carol, nice to meet you.
2209
01:36:27,400 --> 01:36:29,198
There's my eagle. Hey.
2210
01:36:29,760 --> 01:36:33,117
I just want to thank you
for the best night of my life!
2211
01:36:33,560 --> 01:36:34,755
Yeah? Yeah?
2212
01:36:35,360 --> 01:36:36,953
I'll see you on Monday.
2213
01:36:39,720 --> 01:36:41,951
Well, it looks like
we just hired Walter Davis.
2214
01:36:43,960 --> 01:36:45,758
Well, he'll fit right in.
2215
01:36:47,320 --> 01:36:48,390
Wow.
2216
01:36:48,560 --> 01:36:49,960
Did you see that?
2217
01:36:51,400 --> 01:36:52,550
Oh.
2218
01:36:52,920 --> 01:36:54,752
- What are you doing?
- Winner!
2219
01:36:54,960 --> 01:36:56,997
- We weren't racing.
- Well, you weren't.
2220
01:36:57,400 --> 01:36:59,517
Why do you think they always
make you leave a hospital
2221
01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:00,954
in a wheelchair?
2222
01:37:05,760 --> 01:37:07,114
What are you guys doing here?
2223
01:37:07,320 --> 01:37:08,959
Well, we can't
go to breakfast without you.
2224
01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:11,191
- Come on, we're celebrating.
- Come on, let's go.
2225
01:37:11,960 --> 01:37:14,919
I'm in. Breakfast is
the most important meal
2226
01:37:14,960 --> 01:37:15,996
- of the morning.
- Whoa!
2227
01:37:16,120 --> 01:37:17,839
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa.
2228
01:37:17,960 --> 01:37:18,950
We good?
2229
01:37:19,960 --> 01:37:21,952
Yeah. We're good.
2230
01:37:22,320 --> 01:37:24,551
- I'll go back down.
- Your ankle is broken.
2231
01:37:24,760 --> 01:37:26,797
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Yes.
2232
01:37:26,920 --> 01:37:27,956
- Oh.
- You left this in your room.
2233
01:37:28,200 --> 01:37:29,953
Oh, I did.
Thank you. I'm sorry.
2234
01:37:30,320 --> 01:37:31,754
And also this.
2235
01:37:32,120 --> 01:37:34,555
Oh, thank you, Doctor. Here.
2236
01:37:35,640 --> 01:37:36,710
No.
2237
01:37:36,800 --> 01:37:37,950
- Wanna get out of here?
- Let's go.
2238
01:37:38,120 --> 01:37:40,555
Oh, no. I'm not getting in
that. I ordered us an Uber.
2239
01:37:40,640 --> 01:37:41,710
Carol?
2240
01:37:41,800 --> 01:37:44,793
I don't mean this in a creepy
way, but get in the van.
2241
01:37:44,960 --> 01:37:46,314
Yeah, we got to keep this train rolling.
2242
01:37:46,640 --> 01:37:47,756
- No.
- Yes.
2243
01:37:47,840 --> 01:37:50,196
No! You cannot have alcohol
on your medication.
2244
01:37:50,560 --> 01:37:52,119
Uh, fuck that.
Drinking is medication.
2245
01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:54,153
Doctor, this is a...
This is a work breakfast.
2246
01:37:54,280 --> 01:37:55,953
There will be no alcohol at all.
2247
01:37:55,960 --> 01:37:56,996
Okay?
2248
01:37:59,000 --> 01:38:00,275
Yeah.
2249
01:38:00,400 --> 01:38:01,595
I saw that.
2250
01:38:01,720 --> 01:38:03,951
Doctor, I assure you.
I am in charge.
2251
01:38:04,080 --> 01:38:06,117
There will be no more partying.
2252
01:38:07,840 --> 01:38:09,957
I'm literally standing
right in front of you.
2253
01:38:09,960 --> 01:38:10,950
I'm literally right here.
2254
01:38:11,120 --> 01:38:13,555
I just don't know what it is
you think that I'm not seeing.
2255
01:38:13,760 --> 01:38:16,958
Doctor, I would never disobey
medical advice.
2256
01:38:18,760 --> 01:38:19,955
Just go, just go.
2257
01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:21,116
It's an office thing.
Here we go.
2258
01:38:21,200 --> 01:38:22,270
- Merry Christmas.
- Let's go.
2259
01:38:22,360 --> 01:38:23,760
Let's roll it to the car.
2260
01:38:23,840 --> 01:38:25,115
Okay, Happy Holidays.
2261
01:38:25,360 --> 01:38:26,953
Thank you for your service, Doctor.
2262
01:38:26,960 --> 01:38:28,713
Okay.
2263
01:38:29,560 --> 01:38:31,950
Okay. You need any help
working your way out of here?
2264
01:38:32,120 --> 01:38:34,316
Please, Josh.
I was born in a U-Haul.
2265
01:38:42,320 --> 01:38:43,390
Hey, Carol!
2266
01:38:43,960 --> 01:38:46,395
- Are you Carol?
- What? Uh, no.
2267
01:38:46,840 --> 01:38:48,832
Are you sure?
You look like a Carol.
2268
01:38:50,560 --> 01:38:52,836
Can you not hear me? Carol!
2269
01:38:53,760 --> 01:38:54,955
Carol!
2270
01:38:55,720 --> 01:38:56,756
Ugh.
2271
01:38:58,960 --> 01:39:00,314
Cancelled?
2272
01:39:00,760 --> 01:39:02,831
Bunch of bitches!
2273
01:39:03,160 --> 01:39:05,959
You know red lights are just suggestions.
2274
01:39:05,960 --> 01:39:07,952
Are you smoking a
marijuana cigarette right now?
2275
01:39:10,360 --> 01:39:12,955
Yeah! See, we made it
through. Let's do another.
2276
01:39:29,960 --> 01:39:31,519
Oh, not again.
2277
01:39:34,600 --> 01:39:35,636
Let me do it again.
2278
01:39:35,760 --> 01:39:36,910
Let me just do it again.
I can do it.
2279
01:39:37,160 --> 01:39:39,152
Oh, damn it.
2280
01:39:41,080 --> 01:39:42,594
Shit, shit!
2281
01:39:45,280 --> 01:39:46,714
If you want to make it in this world,
2282
01:39:46,800 --> 01:39:47,916
Iearn to lie better.
2283
01:39:48,560 --> 01:39:50,074
Your mother's never coming back.
2284
01:39:50,280 --> 01:39:51,919
Merry Christmas!
2285
01:39:55,800 --> 01:39:56,950
Okay, I'm gonna suck my dick.
2286
01:39:56,960 --> 01:39:58,360
She's gonna suck on this one, guys.
2287
01:39:58,600 --> 01:40:00,910
Guys, can we go back to one
for sucking my dick?
2288
01:40:05,360 --> 01:40:06,953
I like it 'cause it looks like he's trying
2289
01:40:07,000 --> 01:40:08,593
just a little too hard.
2290
01:40:08,720 --> 01:40:09,790
The artist?
2291
01:40:09,920 --> 01:40:11,593
I hadn't thought about the artist.
2292
01:40:11,800 --> 01:40:14,110
Was this not where you had the key
2293
01:40:14,200 --> 01:40:16,157
to the city of Margaritaville?
2294
01:40:16,280 --> 01:40:19,512
I did it. I got rid of it.
2295
01:40:23,760 --> 01:40:24,955
Canadian cinema
2296
01:40:24,960 --> 01:40:26,952
with a concentration
in French-Canadian cinema.
2297
01:40:27,080 --> 01:40:29,914
Canadian music with
a concentration in Rush.
2298
01:40:29,960 --> 01:40:32,156
Canadian linguistics. Eh?
2299
01:40:45,800 --> 01:40:48,360
He used all of his inheritance...
2300
01:40:48,800 --> 01:40:50,951
He used all of his inher...
2301
01:40:51,840 --> 01:40:53,957
He used all of his inheritance.
2302
01:40:53,960 --> 01:40:55,360
It's a hard word to say.
2303
01:40:55,800 --> 01:40:59,953
To keep this branch afloat
with his in-her-i-tance.
2304
01:41:08,760 --> 01:41:12,356
"Hi, I'm Carol.
I have the shingles again."
2305
01:41:12,600 --> 01:41:14,956
"I'm Carol.
Has anyone seen my TV Guide?"
2306
01:41:15,280 --> 01:41:17,795
"I'm Carol.
Change frightens me."
2307
01:41:17,960 --> 01:41:19,952
"We have to put Carol down.
She's old."
2308
01:41:28,960 --> 01:41:31,953
Andrew from the copy room
told me that he had mono.
2309
01:41:32,320 --> 01:41:33,959
I said I wanted to get mono
2310
01:41:33,960 --> 01:41:36,350
because I wanted to take
a month off from work.
2311
01:41:36,760 --> 01:41:38,592
And I kissed him deeply.
2312
01:41:39,760 --> 01:41:41,592
And I didn't get mono!
2313
01:41:43,840 --> 01:41:45,354
Okay, let's reset.
2313
01:41:46,305 --> 01:41:52,787
-= www.OpenSubtitles.org =-
167671
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.