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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:52,996 Are you kidding me? 3 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,273 Oh, Josh! Sorry I'm late. 4 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:00,795 That's all right. 5 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,633 Office holiday breakfast. 6 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,354 You guys have parties at 10:30 in the morning? 7 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:05,749 Less liability. 8 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,320 Apparently, people don't get drunk before noon. 9 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,596 - Mmm. - It's boring as shit. 10 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,632 But the partners want us there, so... 11 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:12,955 Sure. 12 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:16,110 Anyways, after a year of negotiation, your divorce is finalised. 13 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,313 These are the terms we agreed to. 14 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,953 The alimony, the house. Sorry. 15 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,957 Don't worry about it. It's only money. 16 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:28,159 It is only all of the money. 17 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,912 But it's the season for giving, right? 18 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,519 I know how you feel. 19 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,712 Oh, yeah? I didn't know you were divorced. 20 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,593 Oh, God, no. That'd be crushing. 21 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,956 - Hmm. - But I get it. 22 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,958 On one level, it must seem like, uh, 23 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:41,992 "I'm signing away a huge chunk of my life 24 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,793 "that I'm never getting back." 25 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:44,956 Mmm-hmm. 26 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,553 That's it? No other level? 27 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,917 - No, that's it. Uh, initials. - Oh. 28 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,957 Hey. There are good things ahead for you, okay? 29 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,514 - Yeah. Oh. - Come here. 30 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,752 - Thank you. Thanks, buddy. - Merry Christmas. 31 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,952 - Hey, what's this? - My final bill's in there. 32 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,952 - Is it? - Oh, also my holiday card. 33 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,753 The wife had me and the kids dress up 34 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,718 Iike members of One Direction. Pretty fun. 35 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,952 Mmm. Dynamite. 36 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,954 Yes, Mum, it is all done. I am divorced. 37 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,519 Well, you should tell Dad 38 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,990 that she is not coming over for Christmas. 39 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,960 Why? Because we're divorced, Mum! 40 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,071 Well... Oh, Mum, don't worry about that. 41 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,355 I'm still gonna be fun. 42 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,599 I'm still gonna be fun Uncle Josh, you know? 43 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,152 Well, without doing that. 44 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,795 No, you can leave the Santa suit in the attic. 45 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,194 Why? Because I'm an adult 46 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,551 and dressing up as Santa Claus would be embarrassing. 47 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,192 Hi. Unless, you know, you're doing it for charity. 48 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,319 Then it's... Then it's, um... 49 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,550 Sorry. 50 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,120 Tell Dad that I love... Oh! 51 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,600 That's lucky. 52 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,757 Just put me down for five bucks, okay? 53 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:08,950 Hanging up, Mum. 54 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,360 Hey, Carla, good morning. 55 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:29,954 You see something over there? What do you got? 56 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,316 I think that Starbucks 57 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,914 - attracts a bad element, Josh. - Oh, yeah. 58 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,519 Listen. Give me the green light... 59 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,716 - Mmm-hmm. - ...and I'll shut it down. 60 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,837 Oh, I love that initiative. It's awesome. 61 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,713 Could you sign me in real quick, please? 62 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,079 I wish I could, but they got us sending you through these machines now. 63 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,749 Gonna replace my ass, matter of time. 64 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:46,956 That's never gonna happen. 65 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,189 These machines don't have your smile, Carla. 66 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,313 Make that money! 67 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,519 Josh, we have a situation. 68 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,951 Mary! How do you always just appear? 69 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,076 You're like a human pop-up ad. 70 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,920 Did you read my latest memo on appropriate work dress? 71 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,713 Uh, almost done. Don't ruin the end. 72 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,077 Well, some people didn't. And those people are Meghan. 73 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,598 Nobody listens to H.R. 74 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:09,955 Hey, Meghan? 75 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,958 I thought that I have been clear about 76 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,153 the number of buttons that can be unbuttoned on a shirt. 77 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,955 - You were serious about that? - It's winter. Can we 78 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,356 put Dancer and Prancer back in their stable? 79 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,080 Are you body-shaming her right now? 80 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,078 Some people here 81 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,635 might find your outfit offensive. 82 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,956 Well, some people might find your outfit offensive. 83 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,360 And really confusing. 84 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,590 Oh, I thought it was clear. 85 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,155 This is a multi-denominational holiday sweater. 86 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,794 It has Christmas, 87 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,917 Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, 88 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,719 the Buddhist day of enlightenment, 89 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,520 and Boxing Day on it. Everyone's included! 90 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,120 Is everyone included? 91 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,760 What about, um, what about something for the Satanists? 92 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,953 Jeremy, come on. I... I admire the stand that you're taking, 93 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,916 but let's schedule the protest rally for after the workday, shall we? 94 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,394 And, Mary, let's let it slide. 95 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:56,835 Thank you. 96 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,189 Good morning, everybody. 97 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,077 You can't silence us all. 98 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,951 I know why you took a medical leave. 99 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,276 It's hard for me to bring her out in public because she's so beautiful. 100 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,589 Hey, guys. 101 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,952 People put models on this crazy pedestal, but 102 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,350 I think that's why, you know, Becca fell for me, 103 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,955 because I just treat her Iike a normal person. 104 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,072 Good for you, man. Hey, so, um, are you gonna be 105 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,795 inviting your fake girlfriend to the holiday party later? 106 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:22,996 I mean, I just want to make sure you have time 107 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,349 to inflate her. 108 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,590 Okay, Becca's real. 109 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,791 And we're not gonna mix business with pleasure. 110 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,513 Sounds like he didn't invite her, dude. 111 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:30,795 Oh, my God, did you not... 112 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,350 Oh, no! I mean, I hope she's not imaginary pissed. 113 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,954 You won't get any more imaginary blow jobs. 114 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,275 Right? 115 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,629 Tim. Drew. 116 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,314 Hey, it's a couple days before Christmas. 117 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,278 Let's just try to keep it positive till then, okay? 118 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:42,995 - We're totally positive. - No, we're all about... 119 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,952 Totally positive that he is full of shit. 120 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,155 Hey... 121 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,399 You bring it on yourself, Nate. 122 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,710 You know, I do have a girlfriend. 123 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:50,836 I know. 124 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,952 She's a human woman, and we've done it. 125 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,394 Maybe just don't talk about her so much at work. 126 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,914 It's just gonna make those guys jealous. 127 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,954 You know, not only are you their boss, but you also have a hot girlfriend. 128 00:05:58,960 --> 00:05:59,996 You know? 129 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:04,157 - It's too much. I hate you. - Yeah. 130 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,953 - Have a good day. - You, too! 131 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,189 Can you believe corporate raised the price in the vending machine again? 132 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,549 $2 for ginger ale? 133 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,952 They're trying to crush us like ants! 134 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,199 No, there's a lot of bad energy in this office. 135 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,953 Yo, Josh, what the fuck? 136 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,360 What the fuck, Tracey? 137 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,955 You changed the security code without telling me? 138 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,600 Yeah, I'm working on sensitive shit, and I don't want prying eyes. 139 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,598 I'm prying eyes? I'm your supervisor. 140 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,350 Chief technical officer, Iead systems engineer. 141 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,792 Yeah, well, I'm the only one who knows how to hack the security panel, so 142 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,792 suck my dick. 143 00:06:58,920 --> 00:06:59,956 Nice. Okay. 144 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:00,950 What are you working on? 145 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,958 Oh, it's too complicated to explain. 146 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,635 What is that, subroutine for duplex compression? 147 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,952 Don't tell me that's what I think it is. 148 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,600 This is the future of Zenotek. 149 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,200 Hey, we should pitch this to Data City! 150 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,754 That's a theory. 151 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,957 You want to peg the company to a theory? 152 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,272 Man, you used to get excited by big ideas. 153 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,955 Now you just bunt, and ask for the same thing over and over. 154 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,110 I swing for the fences. 155 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,590 And I'm going to change the fucking game. 156 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,757 Okay. I need the specs for the Data City pitch, please. 157 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,079 Already done. Here. 158 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,754 Great. That was fast. 159 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,154 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 160 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,953 - Hey, are you okay? - Yeah. 161 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,560 Really? Because you seem a little off today. You seem a little weird. 162 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,790 - Well... - Oh, my gosh! 163 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,957 Today is the day, right? Hey! 164 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,919 Congratulations, you're free! 165 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,077 You gonna get a back tattoo and some skinny jeans? 166 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,919 Funds are a little tight, but... 167 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:46,950 It feels good to be free. 168 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,275 Yeah. 169 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,953 All right. Thank you for this. 170 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,320 - Hey, J. - Yeah? 171 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,392 I got you for Secret Santa again. 172 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,952 I know. I got you, too. 173 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,197 Oh, sweetie, that is so great! Mummy's so proud of you. 174 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:08,959 Hey, could you put your daddy back 175 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:09,950 on the phone for a second? 176 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,635 - Hey, Allison. Is he ready? - You fucking motherfucker! 177 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,559 If I hear you let your stripper girlfriend 178 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,752 put my children on her motorcycle one more time 179 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,633 I will Gone Girl you so hard! 180 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,797 - You can go in. - I'll just go in. Thank you. 181 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,080 No, no, no. Don't try and sell this 182 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,310 as some win-win situation. 183 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,789 This is not my first rodeo, okay? 184 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,920 - Is that Data City? - No. 185 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:28,996 No. 186 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,759 Rick, do you want this deal or not? 187 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:31,956 Because if you want him, 188 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:32,950 you're gonna have to pay for him. 189 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,996 It's almost the playoffs, 190 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,839 not the second week of the regular season. 191 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,837 Perfect. It's the right choice. 192 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,713 I am running a train on this league. 193 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:43,950 I... I don't think that that means 194 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:44,950 what you want it to mean. 195 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,352 I'd love to talk to you about the Data City pitch, 196 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,590 for later on this afternoon? 197 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,552 Yes, but first I want your opinion on something. 198 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:51,835 We've got kind of a crisis. 199 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,952 This is what corporate wants us to give 200 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,753 everyone for Christmas. Just this. 201 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,519 Yeah, can't hand that out. 202 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,519 And I'm already feeling kind of a 203 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,600 "fuck you" vibe down there, 204 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:03,949 definitely not Christmas spirit. 205 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,514 I can't argue with you there. 206 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,359 Good. I want to Secret Santa the shit 207 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,954 out of the staff meeting. Come on. 208 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,159 Can we work and walk? 209 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,952 You're not cold without a big coat on? 210 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,713 No, I gain fifteen pounds every winter 211 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,950 so I don't have to wear one. 212 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,515 - Huh. That's a healthy choice. - Not really. 213 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,280 Hey, are you bringing anybody to this wine and cheese thing? 214 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:24,920 Uh, no, I'll be there solo. 215 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,714 Good. Smart. So you can focus on Tracey, right? 216 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,915 Tracey and I work together. What are you talking about? 217 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,191 I'm just saying. I can't be your work wife forever. 218 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,914 Hey, how fast do you think you'd have to go 219 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,553 - to make that jump? - Uh... 220 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,955 - Boy, I don't know. In a car? - Yeah. 221 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,958 I just never thought about that. 222 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,992 You know, your mind's like a drunk baby. 223 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,190 What do you think, 80 or 90? 224 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,755 What would Vin do? Vin Diesel? Or Tyrese? 225 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,759 They'd never make it, right? It's suicide. Unless 226 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,519 you were going 120, you put a bunch of free weights 227 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,954 in the trunk to even it out, you know, 228 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,952 then you just catch air. Boosh! 229 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,111 "Fuck you, gravity, and you, Dom Toretto!" 230 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,316 Then... 231 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,838 ...just a smooth landing, Iike a baby's buttocks. 232 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,952 I'd love to pick this up indoors. 233 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,754 You know, I've only ever seen the first film, 234 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:04,956 so I don't know if I'm much help to you 235 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,110 in this conversation. So... 236 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,073 Are you serious? Why am I just hearing about this? 237 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,310 We've worked together for eight years. 238 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,995 They only get more fast! More furious! 239 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,959 I love this place. 240 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,192 So, what would people want? Would they like... Ooh! 241 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,916 Is this UV? Is UV good or bad? I forget. 242 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,112 Not good for the eyes, no. 243 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,316 Does it do anything here? 244 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,516 Probably. Is this for 245 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,636 - teeth whitening? - No. 246 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,752 Okay, what about this, right? 247 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,076 Everybody gets stressed at work... 248 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,310 ...around this time of year. 249 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,516 Huh. 250 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,069 That could get you a sexual harassment suit. 251 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,196 What? Why? 252 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,959 Not everyone likes dildos for Christmas. 253 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,196 This isn't a dildo. It's a body massager. 254 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,710 Yeah, well, it's a circumcised purple penis. 255 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,075 It could be considered sexual. 256 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,316 Why is it like that? 257 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,392 Everything here could be considered sexual. 258 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,393 Hey, what about this for Alan from legal? 259 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:49,950 Well, Alan's bald. 260 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,800 It's so hard to shop for the bald. 261 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:52,990 Who are they? What do they want? 262 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:54,830 Hair. 263 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,952 You know, maybe we should just go get some gift cards. 264 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,560 That's exactly what we should do! 265 00:10:58,760 --> 00:10:59,955 "Here's a gift card because I don't know you 266 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,111 "and I don't care and I won't get in trouble for it." 267 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,515 You know, when my dad ran this company, 268 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,319 Christmas was actually a big deal. 269 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,789 At the Christmas party every year, 270 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:07,956 he would dress up like Santa Claus, 271 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,758 get everybody fucked up. 272 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,950 Yeah, you could back then. 273 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,792 He would throw gifts into the crowd. 274 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,953 Derek Peterson shattered his femur for a rotisserie set. 275 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,952 And that was before Boston Chicken was, like, a thing. 276 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,392 - I've heard those stories. - He took care of them. 277 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,400 That's what I want for my people. You know? 278 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,194 And I want that drone. 279 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,993 Clay, let me ask you a question. 280 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,638 You think that my management style is... Is too careful? 281 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,111 Uh, do you think that I bunt 282 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,953 instead of swing for the fences? 283 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,112 I want to be completely honest with you, Josh. 284 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,551 I wasn't paying attention, so I didn't hear your question. 285 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,399 - I can repeat it. - I'd rather you didn't. 286 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,916 Because I can tell by your face that it's serious. 287 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,633 And I want to tell you seriously, 288 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,957 it's almost Christmas. Relax. 289 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,759 - You want some of this? - I think so. 290 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,189 - I don't think you do. - You sure? 291 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,390 I think you better get moving. 292 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,755 Uh-oh. Here he goes! 293 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,194 Huh? 294 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,391 Eat that! Eat it, Clay! 295 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,199 Careful, careful, careful! 296 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,918 We're good. 297 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,515 Oh, no! 298 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:11,836 Oh... 299 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,711 Hey! 300 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,077 Ooh, somebody is getting fired. 301 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,151 Hey, uh, Allison? Right? 302 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:56,920 - Yeah. - I'm Fred. 303 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,950 I just joined accounting. 304 00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,590 Hi. 305 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,519 Um, so, I saw that photo on your desk. 306 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,716 Are those your kids? 307 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,917 - Yep. They're two and four. - Oh. 308 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,713 I'm a single mum. Ugh. 309 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,150 That's great. 310 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,590 - I was raised by a single mum. - Really? 311 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,154 Yeah. If you ask me, Tupac was right. 312 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,589 "Ain't a woman alive 313 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,359 "that could take my mama's place." 314 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,794 I don't know that song. 315 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:21,555 Oh, shit. 316 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,355 Allison. 317 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,280 - Where's Clay? - He's unreachable. 318 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,990 He's participating in a conference... Summit... 319 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,959 Elon Musk, uh, 320 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,840 tech participation... Relay. 321 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,400 Let's try that again. 322 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,960 Allison, where's Clay? 323 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,958 - He's Christmas shopping. - Okay. 324 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,840 I would like all department heads 325 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,838 in the conference room in five minutes. 326 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,636 Tell him to stop looking at me. 327 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:45,796 Look away. 328 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,958 Ooh. No, he's cute. Oh. 329 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,390 Actually... 330 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,711 It's like the calling never stops. 331 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,513 I know. It's so annoying. 332 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,992 Ugh! You have got to be shitting me. 333 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,120 So the bartender says, 334 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,839 "We don't see many gorillas." And the gorilla says, 335 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,395 "Well, at $12 for a martini I can see why not." 336 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,959 You know a lot of gorilla jokes. 337 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,111 - Yeah. - Excuse me. 338 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,995 What's going on? Something's off. 339 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,959 Yeah, everyone's working. 340 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,154 Oh, shitster. 341 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,954 It's my sister. 342 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,950 There she is! My sister from another mister! 343 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,320 I'm kidding, our mother 344 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,516 didn't start having affairs until the mid-90s. 345 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,756 What are you doing here? 346 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,759 Well, we were just going over your fourth quarter earnings. 347 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,360 And I wondered if I was missing something. 348 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:35,749 Probably. 349 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,912 Clay, why don't you have a seat? 350 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,190 Uh, no. It's my branch, so I prefer to stand. 351 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,910 Fine. 352 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,959 Allison, would you please remove Clay's chair? 353 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,560 - Uh, sure. - Thank you. 354 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:50,950 Sorry. 355 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:52,955 Thank you, Allison. 356 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,953 So we were all a little bit disappointed 357 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,197 not to hit 7% growth in this last quarter. 358 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,393 But 6.5% is right on industry standard for the fall. 359 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,952 Mmm-mmm. You need to hit 12%. 360 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,312 - Twelve? - Twelve is the new seven. 361 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:08,630 - What? - Since when? 362 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,080 Since Dad died 363 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,833 and the board made me CEO. 364 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,952 Oh. You mean interim CEO. 365 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,154 Shut up. Listen, essentially, this branch is failing. 366 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,959 6.5% is not failing. 367 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,116 Yes, it is. 368 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,316 We're doing better than Orlando. 369 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,959 I mean, half those jack-offs had mono last year, right? 370 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,959 Well, I closed the Orlando branch. This morning. 371 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,190 What? 372 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,315 I am sorry. 373 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,753 Damn it. I hate tension, and I... 374 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,316 I farted. 375 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,596 - Wow. - You are not 376 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:42,949 selling enough servers. 377 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,951 You have no new ideas and there is no new revenue. 378 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,198 - I have something new. - Really? 379 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,959 - No, you don't. - Yeah, I do. 380 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,719 - It's not ready. - It is ready. 381 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,513 - It's not ready. - It is ready. 382 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:55,949 - Uh, we can hear you. - Yeah, sorry. 383 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,952 We can. It's a completely silent room. 384 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,355 Go ahead. 385 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,791 What's the most annoying thing about the Internet? 386 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,920 - Pictures of people's kids. - Linkedln invites. 387 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,111 My girlfriend's always on it. I have a girlfriend. 388 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,960 The lack of Asian male representation in porn. 389 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,117 Grumpy Cat. It's like... It's Garfield. 390 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,391 Oh, you know that orange with the human dick? 391 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,959 Oh, my God, what is this, Shark Tank? 392 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,280 Can you just get to the point, please? 393 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,389 - It's getting on the Internet. - Mmm. 394 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,599 So we can already connect to the Internet 395 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:25,950 through standard electrical lines 396 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,838 and obviously we can do it through the air. 397 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,999 But what if we could combine those technologies? 398 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,079 With Zenotek AnywAir, 399 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,390 you can pull the Internet wirelessly 400 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,836 from anything that's connected to a power grid. 401 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,314 Your appliances. Street lights. A light bulb. 402 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,958 You're never out of range, and you're never low on signal. 403 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,799 It's AnywAir. 404 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,360 We're in the future. 405 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,599 And you can deliver that? 406 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,190 I'm still figuring out some coding issues, but yes. 407 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,957 Well, how long have you been figuring? 408 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,952 - Four years. - Four years? 409 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,391 All right, well, that doesn't sound very real to me. 410 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,711 Well, if it was real, I wouldn't have to invent it. 411 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,120 I'm sorry, 412 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,112 - what's your name again? - Tracey Hughes. 413 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,316 And if you forget again, 414 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,198 it's on all of the recent patents for Zenotek. 415 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,070 Mmm-hmm. 416 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,389 You know what? I'm gonna sit. 417 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,314 Not because you told me to, but because I 418 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,110 prefer it. 419 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,190 So... 420 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:21,756 Mmm-hmm. 421 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,759 - Is there anything else? - Actually, yes. 422 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:30,000 This is a sample cheeseboard for our holiday mixer tonight. 423 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,993 I know it's a little heavy on the Gouda... 424 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,634 That was the MVP last year. 425 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,957 Uh, I do have a feisty Cheddar on the bench. 426 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,150 I think that pairs better with 427 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,954 the mulled non-alcoholic wine myself, but what do I know? 428 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,559 Wait, wait. I'm sorry. Excuse me. 429 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,994 You're having a Christmas party tonight? 430 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,554 Oh, it's not a Christmas party! 431 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,200 It's a non-denominational holiday mixer. 432 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,630 More inclusive. 433 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,151 Well, whatever the fuck it is, it's not happening. 434 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,352 Yeah, it's definitely... Well, it's not "happenin"' 435 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,159 because it happens at 5:30 in the afternoon. 436 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,510 It's just a small thing 437 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,954 that's really important to all of us, but 438 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,516 trust me, it's gonna suck. 439 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,069 No, it's not gonna suck, because it's cancelled. 440 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,515 What? 441 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,512 All branch Christmas parties are cancelled. 442 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:07,636 It's a waste of money! 443 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,752 Come on. What are you guys not getting? 444 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,838 All right, it's cancelled. 445 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,116 It's not. 446 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,392 Clay! I mean it. 447 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,313 Me, too, Carol. Guys, 448 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,756 the holiday mixer is cancelled. 449 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,910 Yes. 450 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,392 Hey! It's cancelled, Clay! 451 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,959 The thing is not happening at all. 452 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:24,996 I'm not messing with you. 453 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,634 Hey! Stop doing that! 454 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,991 Hey, idiot, I'm looking right at you. 455 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,950 I saw that! You whispered to the farty cheese lady. 456 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,996 Well... 457 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,551 Don't make me pull rank, Clay. 458 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,155 It is cancelled. 459 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,760 Fine! 460 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,116 Then this meeting is cancelled! Huh? 461 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,713 Damn it! 462 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,799 I was keeping it light in there. 463 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:51,956 That was light, huh? 464 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,958 You have to give her a break, Josh. She's hated parties 465 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,952 ever since she started not getting invited to them. 466 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,516 Please. That party's the least of your problems. 467 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,190 Is that Dad? 468 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,278 No, Carol, I just have some random guy's 469 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,840 ashes in my office. 470 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:05,950 Got it online. 471 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,073 Yes. He wanted them here, with me, at his branch. 472 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,711 I thought they were gonna divide him equally. 473 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,916 It's not my fault that he always liked 474 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,950 hanging out with me more. 475 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,952 I don't care. I got this company. 476 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,520 Moving on. 477 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,792 We have a lot of big cuts to make. Okay? 478 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,071 Obviously, bonuses are cancelled. 479 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,957 You know, there's a lot of people that 480 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,394 are relying on those bonuses. 481 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,836 I suppose you're still getting your bonus, though. 482 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,952 Secondly, I'm laying off 40% of your staff. 483 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,394 Forty? 484 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,952 Forty? We have 200 employees. That's like, 60... 485 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,597 - Some... - That's 80. It's 80. 486 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,593 Eighty. That's, like, 80 employees. 487 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,790 Uh, you got to give us 488 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:42,956 a little bit of time to turn this around. 489 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,599 Fine, then you have until the end of the quarter. 490 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,719 - That's two days. - Is it? Oh, well. 491 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,070 This is unfair. 492 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,515 You wanna talk unfair? 493 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,637 How about Dad skipping my Harvard graduation 494 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:53,955 to go with you to the X Games? 495 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,594 And you weren't even competing. 496 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,791 You just sponsored some guy's wakeboard. 497 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,316 He got the bronze. Which is brown gold. 498 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,717 All right, so I've made a list of my first round of layoffs. 499 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,836 So you might wanna get a pen 500 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,360 - and start writing these down. - No. Let me see that. 501 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:07,949 - No. No. - Give me that. 502 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,958 - No! - These are my employees! 503 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,919 Guys, are we sure about this? 504 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,280 Say you won't make budget cuts. 505 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,396 I swear to God, Clay! 506 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,596 Here comes the loogie express! 507 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:16,756 - Don't you dare! - Say, "Everybody's 508 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,832 - "gonna get a bonus," or else. - You motherfucker. 509 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,759 Suck that back in. You suck that back in! You mother... 510 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,952 Clay. 511 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,959 Oh, my God! 512 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,753 Why do you do this to yourself? 513 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,513 You know I took nine years of Krav Maga. 514 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,638 Carol, you know, he's turning blue. 515 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,116 Yeah. Our family, you got to tap out. 516 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,552 Tap out. Tap out. 517 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,312 Okay. 518 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,998 All right. You okay? 519 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,072 Dad gave you a free pass your entire life, 520 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,992 and you're not getting one from me. 521 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,959 The only way you're gonna hit your targets this year 522 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,310 is by cutting jobs. 523 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,960 Hey, what if we landed 524 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,559 the Data City account? 525 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,316 - Data City? Walter Davis? - That's right. 526 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,631 You do know that he's already met with HP, 527 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,830 Cisco and Oracle. 528 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,519 Yeah, but he hasn't heard our pitch. 529 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,750 No. 530 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,957 Josh and I have been drilling into it for weeks. 531 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,958 Yeah. Months. Whole team. 532 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,400 And we have a meeting 533 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,960 - with him this afternoon. - Yeah. 534 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,350 All right. 535 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,272 Well, I'm on a flight to London tonight. 536 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,718 So if by some miracle you guys can close Walter Davis 537 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,957 and his $14 million contract 538 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,952 by the time I land at Heathrow, 539 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,634 the jobs are safe. 540 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,956 Done! 541 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,276 And you'll see, you're gonna look so stupid. 542 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,951 Then we'll finally have something in common. 543 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,591 Goddamn it! She's so mean! 544 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,840 People are saying "cuts." What kind of cuts? 545 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,553 Oh, nothing's official. 546 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,796 Guys, I can barely afford my rent. 547 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:46,990 I'm sleeping in a closet. 548 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,156 Don't panic. 549 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,316 You can't replace the new guy, right? 550 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:50,959 You're probably gonna go with people that are older, 551 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,116 - more expensive? - Don't overreact. 552 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,113 I just bought that used Lexus, Josh. I can't give it back. 553 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,794 I put rims on it, man! 554 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,111 I have six parrots with very expensive medical issues. 555 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,316 You know this. 556 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,959 I'm gonna have to put one down. 557 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,838 - Nobody is losing their jobs! - Yeah. 558 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,555 That is a Josh and Clay Christmas promise. 559 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,911 Your promises are dog shit! 560 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,555 - Boy, they turned quick. - Yeah, they sure did. 561 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,920 Jesus. Incest and rape? 562 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,714 I mean, that is dark. 563 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,958 That could be a different Clay. 564 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,636 And Carol. 565 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,035 We got to land this pitch. 566 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,198 Okay, everybody knows what we're doing? 567 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,631 Sure. We're just pitching to save our company. No biggie. 568 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,354 And we're proving that my sister doesn't fuck me. 569 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,193 - If anything, I fuck her! - All right. 570 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,960 Yeah, listen, I get the spirit of that, but... 571 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,152 We at Zenotek put the "client" 572 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,956 in client-server model service distribution. 573 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,158 And this is a leave-behind. 574 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,314 And we have some new innovation 575 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,313 that we can talk to you about later. Later. 576 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,712 You got to... You got to go with us. 577 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,400 Okay. 578 00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,953 Thank you for the pitch. 579 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,392 Just give me a beat, and I'll Iet you know my decision. 580 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,914 Okay. When you say "beat," you're talking about an hour 581 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,280 or a day? A full day? 582 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,592 Certainly before the holidays, I'd imagine, right? 583 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,351 Listen, it's Christmas, so, I'll be honest. 584 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,191 Your servers are good. 585 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,314 Dell's servers are good. 586 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,274 - So... - You're gonna go with us. 587 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,958 - I'm gonna go with Dell. - Fuck! 588 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,189 - Why? - Don't. 589 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,629 I... I know your product. 590 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,956 My problem is with your culture. 591 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,313 Our culture is great. 592 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,949 That's not what I hear. 593 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,270 Word is you're closing branches and making layoffs. 594 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,273 - That's not true. - No, that's barely true. 595 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,000 A mixture of fabrication and rumour. 596 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,760 Look, I get it. You got to make money. 597 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,917 And every quarter you got to make more money. 598 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,400 And if you got to fire some people 599 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,552 and cut back on some benefits to make it happen, 600 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,752 that's what business is now, right? 601 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,997 And as long as the board has gotten its bonus 602 00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:56,396 and the stock is ticking up? Come on. 603 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:57,716 Sir, that's not who we are. 604 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,632 If you came to our offices, you would see that. 605 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:00,955 You should come meet our people. 606 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,515 Yeah, we're a family business. 607 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:03,829 Everyone loves everyone. 608 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,314 I mean, Clay and his sister, 609 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,960 they're so close it's almost inappropriate. 610 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,191 We would love the opportunity to prove you wrong. 611 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,200 I'm sure you have wonderful cubicles and great carpeting, 612 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,119 but I've done those tours before. 613 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:17,959 I'm gonna pass. 614 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:18,996 Um... 615 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,196 Thank you so much. 616 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,390 Oh, we got that. 617 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,597 Oh, no, they've already put it on my room. 618 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:24,915 And in addition to the breakfast 619 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,270 my company won't pay for anymore. 620 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:28,956 Good luck, guys. 621 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,114 Great. That was uplifting. 622 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,316 He's saying we suck. 623 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,959 Our big closer was a thumb drive. 624 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:35,950 Yeah, but we don't suck. 625 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,195 We just need a way to show him that. 626 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:38,396 How are we gonna do that? We're gonna 627 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,313 invite him to our cancelled wine and cheese night? 628 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,074 No, we should take him out for real. 629 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:43,316 I mean, you heard him. His company 630 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,800 won't even buy him breakfast. 631 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,952 He's an old school guy who drinks scotch at lunch. 632 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,511 We should take him out and show him a great time. 633 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:50,836 So we'll hook him up with Don Draper, 634 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,713 then go out and get a couple of steaks and an STD. 635 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,912 No, no, no. You're both right. 636 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:55,950 We show him a great time 637 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,952 at our office Christmas party tonight. 638 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,320 What? I didn't say that. 639 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:00,960 - It's not the worst idea. - Right? 640 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,116 Of course it is. We don't even have 641 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,270 an office Christmas party. 642 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:04,953 Carol said no to all discretionary spending. 643 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:06,952 She wants to lay off 40%. You want to double that? 644 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,553 My sister doesn't do anything at 40%. 645 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:09,796 She's just cutting off our legs 646 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:10,956 so we can't run away when she 647 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,314 wants to fucking curb-stomp our face. 648 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,199 This is the way we close Walter. 649 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,312 We throw the best Christmas party he's ever been to. 650 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,756 He loves it, he loves us, he sees we care about people, 651 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,956 he falls in love with our culture, 652 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:20,996 he wants to work with us. 653 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,192 This is how we save everybody's job! 654 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,198 I like it, Josh. Say yes. 655 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:27,397 He's walking away, unless you have a better idea. 656 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:29,996 That's your approval sigh. 657 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:31,955 Walter? 658 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,359 We have one more pitch for you. 659 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:35,556 Do you party? 660 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,189 I used to. 661 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:01,959 Okay, so we have to throw 662 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,952 a massive party from scratch in 663 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,196 five hours. 664 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:06,993 Yeah. And we got an office full of pissed-off employees. 665 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,112 You guys, I got this. I have a black belt in partying. 666 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,800 That's why I got kicked out of boarding school 667 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:11,956 and two intensive care units. 668 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,839 Listen. Did you see this? "It's F-ing Christmas, B's. 669 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,189 "Let's get mother-F-ing drunk. 670 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:17,959 - "Attendance mandatory." - Yeah. 671 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,116 Lawsuit! 672 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,634 Mary, it's for the greater good, okay? 673 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,076 Oh, Joel, would you do me a favour? 674 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,310 Would you get Fred up to Clay's office? 675 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,516 - Oh, yeah, sure. - Thank you. 676 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,954 - Wait! - Yup. 677 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:26,996 I don't know if it's helpful, 678 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:28,156 but regarding the music tonight, 679 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,192 I happen to have a friend who's a pretty good D.J. 680 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:31,955 Great. Bring him. 681 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:33,953 - See, we already got a D.J. - Yep. 682 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,952 Um, so let me get this straight. 683 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,350 Now we're having this great party 684 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,318 and we're getting our bonuses at it. 685 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,996 Yes, Jeremy, because you deserve it! 686 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,192 Maybe you shouldn't have promised them bonuses. 687 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,390 No, first rule of business: 688 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,950 Shoot for the moon and you'll land on the sun. 689 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,713 I'd love to know where you read that. 690 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,200 And let's just focus on closing Walter. 691 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,959 You know, Carol burned this place to the ground. 692 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,997 We are planting the seeds of a new dawn. 693 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,073 Smitty? Clay Vanstone. 694 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,276 No, I'm not dead. That was 695 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:01,510 just a rumour, although well-founded. 696 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,200 How much alcohol can I legally buy from you? 697 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,756 Move out of my way. 698 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,116 I swear to God, I will drop this on your back. Move! 699 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:14,720 You know what? 700 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,951 Merry Christmas, you sweet motherfucker. Ah! 701 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,116 - You're coming, yeah, Smitty? - Yes. 702 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,350 - Yes! Okay. You want this? - No. 703 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,590 All right. 704 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,312 I'm keeping this lamb. 705 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:30,830 We need something else, 706 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:31,950 something that will make us look cool. 707 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,838 Does anybody know anybody who knows the Kanye West? 708 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:34,950 No. 709 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,758 But my girlfriend does P.R. for the Bulls. 710 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,155 Okay, does your girlfriend have a friend who knows 711 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,953 the man that makes us call him Yeezy? 712 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,117 Nate, what's up, man? Did you see? 713 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,835 Significant others are welcome at the party. Look at that. 714 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,110 Looks like we're finally gonna meet Becca. 715 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,350 Yeah! 716 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:48,636 Um, oh, shoot. 717 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,753 Uh, except she's working late tonight. Modelling. 718 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,314 Is she shooting the cover 719 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,959 of Full of Shit magazine? 720 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,312 You know what? She's gonna be there. 721 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,109 You guys! Nate's girlfriend's coming! 722 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,395 Shit! Match, match, match. Match! Come on. 723 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,397 Okay. Um, what are we gonna do with these after the party? 724 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,830 Raffle. 725 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,998 For a failing branch, we're surprisingly productive. 726 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,552 Yeah, I just wish Carol could see this. 727 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,956 Uh, no, Clay, that would be very bad. 728 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:33,315 Yeah, you're right. 729 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,710 All right, go put on your party suits. 730 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:35,836 - Yeah. - Tonight's gonna be 731 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:36,950 a great night. 732 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:01,556 Clay, I told you, 733 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,552 I don't need to do any pre-game for... 734 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,953 - Carol. - Pre-game for what? 735 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,760 For the, uh, work session we got tonight. 736 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,713 And to complete... 737 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:11,950 We're closing Walter Davis, you know? 738 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,275 It's going really, really well. 739 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:14,954 - Hmm. - Phase one's complete. 740 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,349 Why don't you come on in? 741 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,749 I thought you were going to London. 742 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,191 I was on my way to the airport, 743 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,119 but I thought I would stop by and 744 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,632 have a tour of your bachelor pad. 745 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,394 Well, that didn't take long. 746 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,553 How did you know about my divorce? 747 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,320 Oh, you changed your emergency contact to "self." 748 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:34,756 And nobody single by choice 749 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:35,956 would live this close to the freeway. 750 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,952 Is that robe why your wife left you? 751 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,110 What do you want, Carol? 752 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,953 I want you to work for me in New York. 753 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,952 You basically run this branch without the credit. 754 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,390 I will double your salary, you'll get job security, 755 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,718 and a boss who doesn't end every memo 756 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:48,950 with a quote from Aerosmith. 757 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,957 I could never do that to Clay, and I'm very happy where I am. 758 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,356 - Really? - Yeah. 759 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:55,954 I don't see happy. 760 00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:01,751 I see crappy. And a rug that makes me sad. 761 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,154 Anyway, um... 762 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,716 I don't know, 763 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,632 just think about it. When the branch closes, 764 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,953 and Clay has a trust fund to fall back on, 765 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,959 what are you gonna have? 766 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:14,960 Not much. 767 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,959 Merry Christmas! 768 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:27,960 - Thank you. - You got it. 769 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,831 Hey, man. Good to see you. Hi. 770 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:35,316 Eight years 771 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,516 - I've been working here. - Turn around. 772 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,832 What are you hoping to find anyway, Carla? 773 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:39,996 What's your dream contraband? 774 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:41,959 I just like making you my bitch. 775 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,838 - You can go. - Thank you. 776 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,953 - Josh. - Wow! You look like 777 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,952 Cinderella, if she joined the TSA. 778 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,914 Very, very nice. Okay, take a look at this, please. 779 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:53,076 Ooh, who's Mr December? 780 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,514 This is Walter Davis, he's a VIP. 781 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,120 I want you to do me a favour and let me know the second 782 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,350 he comes in. Can you do that? 783 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,080 You will hear the sound of heavy flirting. 784 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,992 Or just a text. That'd be great. 785 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,554 And are you gonna join us later? 786 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:03,994 No, I doubt it. I have to protect the front lines, 787 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,634 make sure no crazy stuff happens. 788 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,956 But if it does... I'm ready. 789 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,753 And you went with the yellow. Smart. 790 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:10,910 Right? 791 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,554 Hey. 792 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,954 - How's everyone doing tonight? - Great. 793 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,799 - It's my birthday. - Ah. 794 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,356 Really committing. That's nice. 795 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,273 Hey, look at that! 796 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,080 - Hi. - Hey, there, Susan. 797 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:29,994 - Nice reindeer, right? - How you doin'? 798 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:31,555 Throw that in coat check for me please. 799 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,279 Thank you. You look great. Oh. 800 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:34,949 - Hey, Josh. - Hey, Dean. 801 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,639 You... You thought you'd bring the kid, huh? 802 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,276 Yeah. We couldn't get anyone to watch him. 803 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:40,954 But don't worry, he has an iPad. 804 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,958 We could axe murder each other and he wouldn't even notice. 805 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,591 He'll just sit there with that dumb look on his face. 806 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,394 Yeah, that's the one. 807 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,913 Okay. Well, can you stick him in my office for me? 808 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,555 - If you're cool with that. - Sure. Well, not cool, but... 809 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,717 - Have a good time. - Thank you. 810 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,114 All right. Let's drop him quick, 811 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,590 because these edibles are gonna kick in any second. 812 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,199 - Hey, Mr Parker. - Hey, Rodney. 813 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,959 - Want a Zeno Punch? - No. 814 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,832 - Foam finger? - Uh-uh, neither. 815 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,634 And, you know, we can skip this, too. 816 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,559 - Good spirit, though. Yep. - Okay. 817 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,354 Could I have a beer, please? Pretty great, huh, Jeremy? 818 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,314 Yeah, it's so weird, I feel Iike I'm still at the office. 819 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,950 Yeah. Oh. Thank you. 820 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:09,950 God, 821 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,511 I know I haven't asked You for much in this life. 822 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:14,638 Granted, I was born rich. 823 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,998 And white. And male. And straight. 824 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,632 Except for that one time. But that's Las Vegas. 825 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,759 But tonight I need You to bless this party. 826 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:27,993 This party has to rock. 827 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:29,959 So we can get Walter's contract, 828 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,838 so that everyone can keep their jobs, 829 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,191 especially Allison. I mean, she is losing it! 830 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,757 And she has all my personal information. 831 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,077 And so that we can prove my sister wrong. 832 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,197 Show her that I am a good boss. 833 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,952 And will You say hi to our dad? 834 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,552 And tell him we really miss him. 835 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,552 And that I'm rocking his Santa suit. 836 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,359 Oh, and tell Prince and David Bowie 837 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,954 how much they meant to everybody. 838 00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,952 I mean, Labyrinth, Purple Rain... 839 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,116 They know. 840 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,595 All right, 841 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,718 Iet's light this fucking candle. 842 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,837 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, Zenotek! 843 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,559 It's me, Santa Claus! 844 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,953 I'ma comin' to town for an epic night. Yay! 845 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:34,950 Santa! 846 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,953 That's okay, we'll get there. 847 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,713 Watch this, Greg. 848 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,591 Dean! Clear. I'm coming around. 849 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:51,636 Oh, shit. 850 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,355 Oh, God. 851 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:57,960 It's okay! 852 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,957 It's okay! That was part of it. 853 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,271 Okay, Santa, what an entrance! 854 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,520 Oh! Right down the chimney, folks! 855 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,394 Merry Christmas, bitches! Santa can't be hurt. 856 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:10,956 You doing okay? You all right? 857 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,320 - That really did hurt, yeah... - Are you sure? 858 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,199 But you know what, I had this for padding. 859 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,358 Holy shit. What the fuck is that? 860 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:17,749 Tell me that's not for something illegal. 861 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,189 No, no, no. Don't worry, this is all mine. 862 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,959 I rented one of those Money Tornados. 863 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,400 So for the bonuses later, 864 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:23,960 I'm gonna make it rain like a hurricane. 865 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,554 Are you sure you're not getting carried away? 866 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:26,994 This seems like a lot of money you're spending. 867 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,959 Josh, this is Christmas, okay? 868 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,954 And if anybody knows how to work within a budget, it's me. 869 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,394 All right? And speaking of. 870 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:35,514 There you go. Hi. 871 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,950 - Cool. - Little Jesus. 872 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,953 - Did you rent a live baby? - Yeah, for the nativity scene. 873 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,953 What? It's cheaper than you think, okay? 874 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,315 Is it? 875 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,394 Oh, shit! DJ Calvis in the house tonight! 876 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:51,956 Oh, God, no. 877 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,996 Add my Snapchat: DJ Calvis. 878 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,632 Joel's friend looks just like Joel. 879 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,953 Ooh! Looks like some babies getting made tonight! 880 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,591 I'm not looking to get pregnant tonight. 881 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:07,950 Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. 882 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,151 Joel, that's a red card for you. 883 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,192 Um, babies are not getting made tonight, 884 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:13,959 not here on company property. 885 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,314 If you're going to have intercourse, 886 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,199 please go beyond the flood lamps 887 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,720 at the perimeter of the plaza 888 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,957 and into the Rite Aid parking lot. 889 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,795 That's right. 'Cause we fucking tonight! 890 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,553 Joel. Language. 891 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,991 This is still an office, and 892 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,750 even though it's dark outside, the rules don't turn off. 893 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,754 The rules may not turn off, but your inhibitions can! 894 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,360 I'm talking about take your pee-pees out 895 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:37,954 and put 'em in some booties! 896 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,069 And remember that tonight the decisions you make 897 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,159 will have consequences that will haunt you 898 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,078 for the rest of your professional lives. 899 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:48,915 And, um... 900 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:50,759 And so have fun. 901 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,952 Yeah, Mary, way to psyche everybody up! 902 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,393 Main takeaway: If you're gonna fuck, 903 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:56,710 do it in the parking lot. 904 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,792 Turn it up! 905 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,634 - Hey. - Hey! Someone cleans up nice. 906 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:12,950 Oh... 907 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,953 Yeah, I... I'm wearing the same clothes, from earlier. 908 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,591 Oh, yeah. I was just making a party joke. 909 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,553 I didn't want to go all the way home 910 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,075 and then come back, so I just sat in my car and worked. 911 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,513 Oh, also I was waiting for my phone to charge. 912 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,953 Oh. So you're all charged up! 913 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,316 What? 914 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,592 I said you're all charged up. 915 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,280 Yeah, my phone. 916 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,320 Hey, the music is really loud. 917 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,959 Do you want to go somewhere and talk? 918 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:43,312 - Uh, yeah. - Okay. 919 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,080 This is Zenotek. 920 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,919 Oh, shit! 921 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,838 That's Jimmy Butler right there! 922 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,314 Who's Jimmy Butler? 923 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,314 Two-time All-Star. Best player on my fantasy team. 924 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:03,955 Fuck you, Butler! 925 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,992 I don't know why I said that. Oh, fuck. 926 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,310 These are great. You know what? 927 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:08,800 Why don't you give me your number 928 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:09,956 and I'll text these to you. 929 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:11,754 Excuse me. Hey. Hi. 930 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,952 - Jimmy, hey, this is Josh. - Hey. How you doing? 931 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,633 So you the big man around here, huh? 932 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,911 I'm not that big, no. I'm feeling small right now. 933 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,553 Look at this. Good for you. 934 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:21,110 Here's the big man! 935 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,595 Jimmy Buckets. Clay Vanstone. 936 00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:24,279 Thanks for coming to our Christmas party, man. 937 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:25,959 Of course. I've been trying to expand 938 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,155 the Jimmy Butler empire 939 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:28,396 into the tech space. 940 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:29,710 I'm thinking Jimmy Butler dating app. 941 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,952 - Maybe Butlerbook? - I like it. 942 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,957 - Jimmyface? - These are all good ideas. 943 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,992 Do you want to see the first processor that we ever made? 944 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,157 It's as big as a mini-fridge and it used to set fires. 945 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:39,950 It's upstairs with the good tequila. 946 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,070 - Of course. - Casamigos. 947 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:42,196 I'll save some for you. 948 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,792 Geek yourself out! He's really into technology. 949 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,713 Will you remind me, how do you know 950 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:48,916 Jimmy Butler again? 951 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,952 Remember, I told you my friend does P.R. for the Bulls? 952 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:52,794 - Yes! Yeah. - Right. 953 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,592 I thought that bringing a famous basketball player 954 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:56,790 would help with Walter. 955 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,189 - Ah. - You're cool with that, right? 956 00:38:58,960 --> 00:38:59,950 Why wouldn't I be cool? 957 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,116 It's the greatest idea in the world. 958 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,316 Of course I'm cool. 959 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:03,834 - Very cool. Please. - Okay. 960 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,952 Yeah. Mr Cool. I graduated valedictorian 961 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,792 from Cool University! 962 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,952 Good old C.U. 963 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:11,796 Mmm-hmm. 964 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:13,710 Okay. 965 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,070 "C.U." Iater! 966 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,958 Oh, Josh. 967 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:39,910 Savannah? 968 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,992 I think you mean Becca, right? 969 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,839 Uh... 970 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,111 I'm gonna be honest, I've never done this before. 971 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,959 Although my mum and I have watched 972 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,314 Pretty Woman, Iike, a million times. 973 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,632 Oh, I love that movie! It's why I'm doing this. 974 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:54,960 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 975 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,394 It feels kind of dirty. 976 00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:58,959 You feel dirty? 977 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:00,997 You're my third client tonight. It's only 9:00 PM. 978 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:02,596 Oh, really? 979 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,111 So, um, you just have to pay my manager, 980 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:06,953 and then we're, like, good. 981 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:07,996 Oh, yeah, um... 982 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,189 Got it right here. 983 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:11,959 Hi. Nate. 984 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,189 - Nate? - Yeah. 985 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:26,640 Hi, I'm Trina. 986 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,395 I don't do handshakes, I do hugs. Get in here! 987 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,553 Oh, my gosh, you guys are gonna have 988 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,313 so much fun tonight. I can feel it. 989 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:35,959 - You're already a couple. - Hope so. 990 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:36,950 Already. 991 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:38,599 - Is this for me? - Um, yes, ma'am. 992 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,793 Oh, my gosh. Look at him. Prepared. I love that. 993 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:42,950 I'm not even gonna count it. 994 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:43,996 - You know why? - Mmm-mmm. 995 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,312 - 'Cause we're friends, right? - Yeah. 996 00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,318 Yeah, we're not fucking friends. 997 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,595 Oh, my God. 998 00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,757 So if you're thinking of fucking with me, 999 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,274 or with my girl, 1000 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,758 don't. Because I'm hella stressed out right now. 1001 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,111 This week has been a scheduling nightmare! 1002 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,755 My iCal crashed, 1003 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,355 and now all my appointments are set in 2019. 1004 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:04,956 And in Hebrew. 1005 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,196 It's a flawed program. I've been saying this for years. 1006 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:08,959 Shut up. 1007 00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:10,634 My point is, 1008 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,953 if one more person pisses me off... One more... 1009 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,953 I don't know what's gonna happen. 1010 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,799 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 1011 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:21,112 We're clear? 1012 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,954 Okay, so now, um, just have a good time. 1013 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,393 If you use handcuffs, have a spare key, okay? 1014 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,315 Jesus, we do not want to go through Thanksgiving again. 1015 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,399 Um, hey, if you need me in the next hour, 1016 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:33,630 I'll be at Whole Foods. 1017 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,796 Okay. 1018 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,953 Alexei, open my fucking door! 1019 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,960 Come on. Let's go meet your friends. 1020 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,952 I can close it myself! 1021 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:45,073 I'm a woman in 2016. Jesus. 1022 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,750 Okay, Clay, incoming. I just got a text from Carla. 1023 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:50,956 Walter's on his way up. This is it. 1024 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,196 Okay, okay. So we need an employee 1025 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:53,515 to sit on my lap right when he comes up. 1026 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:54,954 A cheerful one. Definitely not Jeremy. 1027 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:55,996 Uh, sure, great plan. 1028 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,556 Great. Good, good. Here. You try and get this on. 1029 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,955 Hey, Walter! 1030 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,559 - Welcome to Zenotek. - How are you? 1031 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:05,835 I'm so glad you came. 1032 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:06,950 Good to see you. Can I take your coat? 1033 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,719 - No, no, I'm good, actually. - You sure? Okay. 1034 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,718 All right. Walt, what would you like to get started with? 1035 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:11,950 You know, we got a photo booth. 1036 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,077 It's like getting your picture taken in a tiny house. 1037 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,270 We love it. 1038 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,079 Oh, uh, Jimmy Butler is here! 1039 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,192 Jimmy Butler from the Bulls is here. 1040 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,390 What? Come on! Where is he? 1041 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,796 Do you want to take a selfie with him? Everyone's doin' it. 1042 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,519 You know, I'm a Cavs fan, actually. 1043 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:25,949 - Oh. - There's a good team. 1044 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,594 - This was a mistake. - Hang on. Hang on. 1045 00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:28,836 No, no, no. Come on. 1046 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,997 Now, a mistake would be to miss the salmon station. 1047 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:32,270 Do you like salmon? Huh? 1048 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,718 You want to swim upstream with me and go try some salmon? 1049 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:37,713 What does that even mean? 1050 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,639 You know what? Let's start with a drink. Come on. 1051 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,400 Yeah. Are you thirsty? Clay, you want a drink with Walter? 1052 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,632 One vibrator, please. 1053 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,554 Okay. Here you go. 1054 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,360 - It's really a body massager. - No, it's a vibrator. 1055 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,751 Hey, Josh! 1056 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,713 Oh, hey, Jeremy. This is Jeremy, 1057 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,075 our customer service manager. 1058 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,715 Hi, nice to meet you. Mary just fucking cited me! 1059 00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,274 Okay? I thought this was a party. 1060 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,910 If I want to dick tap Alan, I'm gonna dick tap Alan. 1061 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:02,996 That's a timeless gag! 1062 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,952 - Never not funny! - Okay, off you go. 1063 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,960 She is like a poisonous fucking cloud of shit gas, 1064 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,273 Iike, just seeping into everybody's good time. 1065 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,275 Every word she says makes my fucking haemorrhoids throb! 1066 00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:18,951 - I want that on the record. - It is. 1067 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:20,760 He's in customer service? 1068 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:21,956 Yeah, he's much better on the phone. 1069 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,639 That's really where he shines. Here we go. 1070 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,952 Hey, can we get a scotch? Um, Macallan, right? 1071 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,312 Uh, no, dude. It's the eggnog luge. 1072 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,314 Oh. Just the eggnog. Okay. Great. Well... 1073 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,399 Uh, looks like fun. Ladies first. 1074 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,553 - Josh, I insist. After you. - Well, I'm not much on eggnog. 1075 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:37,955 Don't listen to this guy. He's Mr Fun. 1076 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,310 He'll do anything for the party. So, come on! 1077 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,120 Hey, everybody! Josh is gonna do the luge! 1078 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,119 No, no. I don't think so. It's not for me. 1079 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,120 Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh! 1080 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,313 It looks like they want you to do it. 1081 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:53,119 Should I do it? I'll do it. 1082 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,950 I'll do it, I'll do it. Okay, let's do it. 1083 00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,277 This the luge right here? Here we go. 1084 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,555 Here we go... Here we go... 1085 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:06,516 Mmm-hmm. 1086 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:10,916 Mmm. 1087 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:14,950 Oh, God. 1088 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,955 Whoo! Okay, Walter, your turn. 1089 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:20,150 Where'd Walter go? 1090 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:21,794 I totally got you deep throating him. 1091 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:23,280 Oh, well, look at that. That's beautiful. 1092 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,591 Where'd Walter go, huh? Clay, did you see Walter? 1093 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,354 I don't know about that whole throne thing. 1094 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:28,715 I mean, nobody liked the gifts, 1095 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,917 everybody was complaining and the lap-sitting got weird. 1096 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,116 Oh, no. 1097 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:33,270 What's happening? 1098 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:34,396 Well, it's just not working. 1099 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:35,596 If you took away everybody's drinks 1100 00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:36,790 and turned up the lights, 1101 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,639 it just looks like we're at work. You know what I mean? 1102 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:39,956 We need to get amped up. 1103 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,758 We need to get them interacting. 1104 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,519 You guys should do what you did at the party last year. 1105 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:44,955 No. Not doing that. Come on. 1106 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,190 No, that was lame. 1107 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,119 No, no, it was fucking awesome! People loved it! 1108 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,395 It wasn't. And they didn't. 1109 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:50,994 Do it for the company. All right? 1110 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,840 I'm gonna go give Walter party mouth-to-mouth. 1111 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:55,639 Is he crying? 1112 00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:56,950 I wanted to give you this pamphlet 1113 00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,400 which has a lot of good information 1114 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,956 about the signs and symptoms of sadness. 1115 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:02,510 When I'm sad, 1116 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,160 I like to remember something my grandma used to sing. 1117 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:11,996 It's about ducklings. 1118 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,960 Mary, you wore a blue coat, right? 1119 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,953 - No, I wore my beige poof. - Oh, that's it. 1120 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,116 It's probably not a big deal, 1121 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,192 but I saw Meghan rifling through all the pockets. 1122 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,120 No, no, no, no. My Bath & Body Works coupons! 1123 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,392 Walter. Clay Vanstone, remember? 1124 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,630 - Hey. - How are you? 1125 00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,594 - I want to show you Zenotek. - Ah. Yes. 1126 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,359 You're a very expressive dancer. 1127 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,074 Oh, thanks. Let me know if you want me 1128 00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,958 to dance, like, sexy or something, you know? 1129 00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:57,950 - Yeah. No, we're good. - Okay. 1130 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,959 Uh, hey, there's actually some guys I want you to meet. 1131 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,150 Okay, great. 1132 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,272 Let's just work out the money thing first, though, yeah? 1133 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,397 Uh, I already gave Trina $200. 1134 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:09,960 Oh, yeah, that's just for the first hour. 1135 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:11,514 If you want me for the rest of the night, 1136 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:12,954 it's gonna be another $2,000. 1137 00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,954 - Two grand? No. No way. - Yeah. 1138 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,280 The website clearly said 1139 00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,192 it was $200 for the whole night. 1140 00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,835 Do I look like I'm $200 a night? 1141 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,351 Okay, fine. I'll go to an ATM, okay? 1142 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:25,955 Okay. Give me your watch as collateral. 1143 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:26,950 It's my grandmother's. 1144 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:28,156 I don't care. 1145 00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:29,350 Shit. 1146 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,276 Holy shit. 1147 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:42,274 That was just how daddy likes it. 1148 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,396 Mmm-hmm. 1149 00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:44,790 Check it out. 1150 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,277 You're a fireman. 1151 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,919 Must be really nice to have a day care centre at work. 1152 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,156 Yeah, yeah. Clay set this up when I was pregnant. 1153 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:55,510 I think he just wanted an excuse 1154 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:56,954 to have Play-Doh in the office. 1155 00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,553 - Shall we? - Oh. 1156 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,832 - You are such a good mum. - Aw. 1157 00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:06,756 Thanks. 1158 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,390 I, uh, bet you'd make me finish all my homework 1159 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,153 before I could go outside and play. 1160 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,274 Yeah, especially if you were being naughty. 1161 00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:17,274 Do I need to be punished? 1162 00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:19,957 Well, I guess that depends on your homework. 1163 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,196 I bet you'd make me 1164 00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,516 brush my teeth so I don't get any cavities. 1165 00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,958 Oh, we're still doing this. Okay. 1166 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,159 I've been a bad boy, Mummy. 1167 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,955 Okay, um, do you have some kind of weird fetish? 1168 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:42,953 What? No! 1169 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:44,839 No, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to give you 1170 00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:45,950 that impression. 1171 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,400 - I just got carried away. - Oh. 1172 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,752 I just really like you. 1173 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:51,952 Yeah. I really like you, too. 1174 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,593 Something's happening in my diaper. 1175 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,519 - Okay. Fuck this. I got to go. - Huh? 1176 00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:07,790 - This is my nightmare. - What? 1177 00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:09,912 - So, yes, I'm in hell. - No, uh... 1178 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,360 - So I'm gonna go. - Mummy! 1179 00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:12,795 I mean, Allison. Don't leave. 1180 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:17,193 Save that shit for the fourth date like a normal person! 1181 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:21,955 Sorry. 1182 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,310 All right, Nate, this is what you've been saving for. 1183 00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:31,959 Who designed this? 1184 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:32,950 Come on! 1185 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,957 Shit! Fuck me! 1186 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:41,950 Yes. 1187 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,157 I'm okay! Merry Christmas! 1188 00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,154 Okay. You ready? 1189 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,917 Okay, you look ridiculous. 1190 00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:01,713 Is it the hat? 1191 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,912 Hey. Merry Christmas, everybody! 1192 00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,636 Who's happy about the holidays? 1193 00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,952 Okay. Okay. 1194 00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,596 Hey, so, um, you dickheads want to buy some cocaine? 1195 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:52,917 Yeah! We'll do that. 1196 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,832 One cocaine. Want to do it with us? 1197 00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:00,518 Yeah! Yeah! 1198 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,512 I believe in taking risks, Walter. 1199 00:50:06,720 --> 00:50:08,951 Zenotek, my company, believes in taking risks. 1200 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:09,996 You know what we should do tonight? 1201 00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,196 We should do something that scares us. 1202 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,390 Makes us feel alive! 1203 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:14,950 Do you think you could 1204 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,838 swing across the dance floor with those lights? 1205 00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:18,190 What's that? 1206 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,313 Like, if you grabbed every single strand, 1207 00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:21,556 do you think that you could swing 1208 00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,552 and then time it just right and grab all of those strands, 1209 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,956 then, like Tarzan, make it all the way to my office? 1210 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,952 Merry fucking Christmas. 1211 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:29,950 You know what? 1212 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,955 This has been really great, and I thank you, but, 1213 00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,719 it's time to hit the road. 1214 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,712 Oh. Um, you can't leave yet, 1215 00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:38,075 'cause we're just getting started! 1216 00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,953 Hey! You got snow machined. That's meant to be lucky. 1217 00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:04,950 It tastes bitter. 1218 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,992 It's just paper products. Let's get you cleaned up. 1219 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,392 Great, great. So I guess we'll just take two 1220 00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:10,630 and call you in the morning, then? 1221 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:12,956 - Is that, uh... - Yeah, don't call me. 1222 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:15,552 You on Snapchat? 1223 00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,557 We'll be up here if you want to come back up here. 1224 00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,554 I need some air. 1225 00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,831 Oh, also I have your Secret Santa. 1226 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,070 Oh. Okay. 1227 00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:28,954 What are you doing? 1228 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:30,600 Pissing off Mary. 1229 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,277 # GreatestPartyEver. #OpenBar. 1230 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:35,920 How do you spell "Hanukkah"? 1231 00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:37,713 Wait, who are you sending that to? 1232 00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:39,952 Oh, you know, everyone in Chicago. 1233 00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:43,996 You've never been up here? 1234 00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:45,156 No. 1235 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:46,914 This is where I usually am 1236 00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:48,758 during the sexual harassment seminars. 1237 00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:50,838 Oh, it's beautiful. 1238 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,757 Oh, it's colder up here for sure. 1239 00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:56,959 And it's, uh... 1240 00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,755 Oh, man, it's higher. 1241 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,118 Maybe let's go... Let's go lower. 1242 00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:04,954 And warmer. Come on. 1243 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,634 - Uh-oh. - No. No, it never locks. 1244 00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,151 Wait, no. It never locks! 1245 00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:14,995 I bet you're also never up here 1246 00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:16,349 - at night, right? - No. 1247 00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,951 It's all right, I came prepared. 1248 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:21,956 So did I. 1249 00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:23,594 Your Secret Santa. 1250 00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:24,950 That's a lot better than where I'm keeping mine. 1251 00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,316 Excuse me. Mr Vanstone? 1252 00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,312 - Have you seen this? - Hi. I'm Rodney. 1253 00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,111 We haven't met yet. I'm an intern here. 1254 00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,396 I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. 1255 00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,320 - Yes, you can have a job. - Are you serious? 1256 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,632 Yeah, party hire. Junior associate. Congrats. 1257 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,752 Oh, my God. Mr Vanstone, thank you! 1258 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,314 - Thank you. - Thank you so much. 1259 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:47,830 - Oh, my God. Yes? - Hey, Rodney! 1260 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:49,800 We're gonna get you a new name. 1261 00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:50,990 Done! I'll call my parents. 1262 00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:53,199 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 1263 00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:54,950 Hey. You okay? 1264 00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:56,953 Ha! I was down. I was having a bad day. 1265 00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:58,076 But now I'm lifting. 1266 00:52:58,200 --> 00:52:59,270 I'm seeing things. My mind. 1267 00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,317 The ideas are flying through my mind! 1268 00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,279 - I'm feeling strong. - Okay, good. 1269 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,838 - High five. Ha! - Sure. 1270 00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:06,996 Ha-ha! 1271 00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,555 You can't keep Walter Davis down forever, baby! 1272 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,400 Let's go get fucked up. 1273 00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:15,636 Okay, but not too much. 1274 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:16,955 When I drink, a lot of bad things happen. 1275 00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:18,189 You know, my sister's horse goes missing. 1276 00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,118 My car is covered in horse hair and blood. 1277 00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,316 Fingers get pointed. 1278 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,995 Smoke PCP as a favour. Beach burns down. 1279 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,793 That ain't never been my problem. 1280 00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,832 Come on! Let's go get a drink! Yeah! 1281 00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:29,839 Oh, shit! 1282 00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:10,155 We're expecting blizzard conditions 1283 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:11,350 for 12 to 24 hours... 1284 00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:12,556 Just get me on a plane. 1285 00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:13,959 Get me on any goddamn plane, all right? 1286 00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,952 I have enough miles to orbit the sun. 1287 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:17,639 I'm sorry, ma'am. All flights are grounded 1288 00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:18,796 until the snow clears. 1289 00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:19,956 There's nothing more I can do. 1290 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:22,156 Well, refer me to someone who can do something. 1291 00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:23,953 That would be God, ma'am. 1292 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:25,832 Oh, Her. 1293 00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:28,794 Have a great holiday. 1294 00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:29,950 Shit. 1295 00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:39,638 Did you eat my Cinnabon? 1296 00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:41,755 No. 1297 00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:43,990 Where's your mother? 1298 00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:45,959 Bathroom. 1299 00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:50,953 - What's your name, sweetie? - Darcy. 1300 00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:52,156 Oh. 1301 00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:56,956 Hi, Santa. 1302 00:54:57,720 --> 00:55:00,918 Yes, Carol Vanstone. I'm here with Darcy. 1303 00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,114 I know. Terrible name. 1304 00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:05,758 And she's being a little shit here 1305 00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:06,990 in the first class lounge. 1306 00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:08,600 So I think we should cancel 1307 00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:11,189 all of her Christmas presents this year. 1308 00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:12,955 Yeah. And while she's asleep, 1309 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,276 why don't you take that doll, too. 1310 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:16,955 Great. Bye. 1311 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:18,595 May l have your attention, please. 1312 00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:21,076 Due to inclement weather, all flights have been cancelled. 1313 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,510 Shit! 1314 00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:28,314 Fuck you! 1315 00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,280 Zenotek, you having a good time now? 1316 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:37,079 You ready to kick this up a notch, huh? 1317 00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:41,916 Hit me with the horns, Calvis! 1318 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:43,519 Old school. 1319 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:47,555 Make some noise! 1320 00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,356 Yeah! 1321 00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:55,750 # Here we go now! 1322 00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:57,553 Is this not the best fucking party 1323 00:55:57,640 --> 00:55:59,120 y'all been to? Come on down! 1324 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,312 # Here we go now! Here we go now! 1325 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,912 # Here we go, here we go! Let me clear my throat 1326 00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:07,953 Yeah, get on up here. 1327 00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,720 Give it up for Walter! My main man, Walter! 1328 00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:13,636 Goddamn! 1329 00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:15,194 Get on up here, Mary! 1330 00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:17,960 Give me the mike. No, no, no. Give me the mike. 1331 00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,554 - Give it up for Mary! - No, no. 1332 00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,109 Mary, everybody, yeah! 1333 00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:23,634 You got to stop. 1334 00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:25,752 # When l say H, you say R 1335 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:27,952 # H.R.! H.R.! 1336 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,310 # When l say H, you say R 1337 00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,631 # H.R.! H.R.! 1338 00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:34,957 # And when she says H, you say R 1339 00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:37,555 # H.R.! H.R.! 1340 00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,552 Yeah! 1341 00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:44,157 # lf y'all want to party like we do 1342 00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:45,953 # lf y'all want to party like us 1343 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,959 # Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" 1344 00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,397 # lf y'all want to party like we do 1345 00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:54,960 # lf y'all want to party like us 1346 00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,353 # Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" 1347 00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,793 Okay, that's part of it. Yeah! 1348 00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:05,994 She's what makes this company great, 1349 00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:08,919 just like every motherfucker in here! 1350 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,316 # When l say freeze, y'all freeze one time 1351 00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:13,960 # Freeze! 1352 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,792 # Now let me clear my throat 1353 00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,589 # Special dedication going out to all the ladies 1354 00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:21,949 # And all the brothers in here! 1355 00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,960 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 1356 00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,758 This is fun, right? 1357 00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,110 This has turned 1358 00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:45,840 from charming into life-threatening. 1359 00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:49,832 I cannot believe that they are still not responding. 1360 00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,153 At least my death will give my parents 1361 00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,192 something to talk about at the meal I'm gonna miss. 1362 00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:56,119 - Going to your parents' place? - Every year. 1363 00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,958 This is where not having any family actually pays off. 1364 00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:01,953 I get the whole city to myself. 1365 00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:04,158 It's like some kind of awesome plague came in 1366 00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,272 and spared only me and the Chinese restaurants. 1367 00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:07,949 This is useless. 1368 00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,952 You gonna be solo, huh? 1369 00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:11,953 There's not gonna be a stocking on your mantel 1370 00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:13,553 for Jimmy Butler at your place? 1371 00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,392 - What are you doing? - Nothing? 1372 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,758 Just asking. You know? 1373 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:21,914 You could have dated me, Josh. 1374 00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,110 But you freaked out and ran away. 1375 00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:27,277 I still had PTSD from my marriage just ending, so... 1376 00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,952 You'd been separated for a year. 1377 00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,191 - I fucked up. - Yeah. 1378 00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,399 Because you're an idiot. 1379 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:39,314 I'm sorry. 1380 00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:42,759 I have been feeling shitty about it. 1381 00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,952 We should've done this a long time ago. 1382 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:55,959 - Yeah. - Right? 1383 00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:05,835 - Hey, Jeremy. - Huh? 1384 00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:06,950 Hey! 1385 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,758 - Hey, man. - What's up, guys? 1386 00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:12,749 Wow. Good thing I wasn't going number two, huh? 1387 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:14,320 Yeah. Leave you to it. 1388 00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,120 - This is my territory! - Got it. That's clear. 1389 00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,279 They can't shut us down! 1390 00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:23,317 We're never gonna get shut down! 1391 00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,956 # When l say Zeno, you say Tek 1392 00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,112 # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! 1393 00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:30,756 # When l say Zeno, you say Tek 1394 00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:32,952 # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! 1395 00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,111 It's a Christmas miracle. 1396 00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:39,957 # When l say Zeno, you say Tek 1397 00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,077 # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! 1398 00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:44,557 # When l say Zeno, you say Tek 1399 00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:46,997 # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! # 1400 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:49,957 I love this party! 1401 00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,109 I love this company! 1402 00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:56,559 And I want to work with you people! 1403 00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:00,959 What did he just say? Did Clay just close Walter? 1404 01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:03,840 Huh, he really is Santa Claus. 1405 01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:10,960 Yeah! 1406 01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:36,998 So, Carol. You know, 1407 01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:38,839 - that's my grandmother's name. - Mmm. 1408 01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:41,553 - No, I did not know that. - Yeah. 1409 01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:43,636 Oh. 1410 01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,958 It's kind of an old-timey name. Don't really hear 1411 01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:48,953 Carol much anymore. 1412 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,992 It's like... "Hi, I'm Carol. 1413 01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,353 "I gotta get home before I miss my stories." 1414 01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:59,959 "Hi, I'm Carol. I heard about Pearl Harbor on the radio." 1415 01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:03,954 "Hi, I'm Carol. I died in the beginning of Up." 1416 01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:05,989 That movie? 1417 01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:08,717 Sorry, I'm just nervous. 1418 01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:12,590 My first night on the job. On the ol' J.O.B. 1419 01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:13,956 - It's your first night? - Yeah. 1420 01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:14,950 Driving? 1421 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,116 First night driving the ol' Ubes. 1422 01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:19,955 It's a pretty sweet gig, though. Make my own hours. 1423 01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:21,799 You know, I could hook you up 1424 01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:23,354 if you want to be an Uber driver. 1425 01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:25,712 I'm good. I already have a job. Thank you very much. 1426 01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,958 Yeah, but you could be CEO of your own car! 1427 01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:30,919 I am a CEO. 1428 01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:32,076 Of Uber? 1429 01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:35,274 Oh, my God. Is this Undercover Boss? 1430 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:36,589 Is that a camera? 1431 01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,156 Am I on ca... Are you wearing a disguise? 1432 01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:40,953 No. This is not Undercover Boss. 1433 01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:42,799 I am not the CEO of Uber. 1434 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,191 I am the CEO of Zenotek. Please just drive. 1435 01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:48,000 No shit. I just dropped off, 1436 01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,952 Iike, four people at that party tonight. 1437 01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:52,950 I'm sorry? 1438 01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:55,515 They gave me three stars Iike a bunch of bitches. 1439 01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:56,954 Excuse me. What did you just say? 1440 01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:59,550 - I said they were bitches. - No, no. What party? 1441 01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,320 The party at your office. Everybody's like, "Oooh." 1442 01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:06,158 - You son of a bitch, Clay. - Yeah, bunch of bitches! 1443 01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:07,953 Can you just... 1444 01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:10,156 Can you move? Move! 1445 01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:19,758 The English band, the Optic Monkeys? 1446 01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:21,070 You were supposed to see them with your friend Lindsey, 1447 01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:22,276 you were like, "I can't go," 1448 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:23,396 because you couldn't get a babysitter? 1449 01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:25,756 Did you hack into my emails? 1450 01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:27,599 Get the fuck out of here. 1451 01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:29,917 And never use that British accent again. 1452 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,639 Allison, are you okay? 1453 01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:34,593 No! I'm not okay. 1454 01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,952 My ex-husband is dating a stripper, 1455 01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:39,152 Drew is cyberstalking me, 1456 01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:40,760 and Fred from accounting 1457 01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,911 is like a human fucking AMBER Alert. 1458 01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:47,074 Don't I deserve to date someone who is nice? 1459 01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:48,714 Of course you do. 1460 01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:51,156 Allison, you're an amazing person. 1461 01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:53,795 You basically take care of this whole office. 1462 01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:54,950 And you do it every day, 1463 01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:56,952 even though most people don't seem to notice. 1464 01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:58,360 So, yeah, 1465 01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:00,593 you deserve someone nice. 1466 01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:01,950 Baby, 1467 01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:05,079 I got your text. Ooh, I missed you. 1468 01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:06,954 Come on, let's dance. 1469 01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:08,952 Just hang in there. 1470 01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,835 Go, Rodney! Go, Rodney! 1471 01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:25,515 Nate! 1472 01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,592 Hey, man. Larry from shipping here 1473 01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:28,949 actually has a really great story 1474 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:30,275 that he wants to tell you. 1475 01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,359 I was in the bathroom washing my face, 1476 01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,120 and this girl came in, like, 1477 01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,590 "I'll give you a handy for $40." 1478 01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:37,956 And the next thing I knew, 1479 01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:41,920 my penis was in her hand and then she starts... 1480 01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,552 Okay, Larry, I know how a hand job works. 1481 01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:46,194 I had no idea you guys were together. 1482 01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:47,959 Wait, what are you talking about? 1483 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:51,317 So Becca gave Larry a hand job in the men's room. 1484 01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:52,955 Goddamn it! 1485 01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,118 Ooh, ooh! I'm going next. 1486 01:03:57,760 --> 01:03:59,831 I'm inspired! I'm going next. 1487 01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:03,313 - No, I called it. I called it. - No, no, wait. 1488 01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,195 - I'm so happy for you! - Oh, shit. 1489 01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:08,153 I was about to do my balls! 1490 01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:10,956 Hey! What about the 3D printer? 1491 01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:12,754 - Yes. Yes! - Yeah? 1492 01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:14,194 I'm going first, I'm going first! 1493 01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:52,112 Excuse me. Excuse me! 1494 01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:53,750 Excuse me. 1495 01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:04,758 Raise your hands if you're keeping your jobs! 1496 01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,753 Raise your hands if you're gonna get a bonus! 1497 01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:09,835 Excuse me. 1498 01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,076 Clay? 1499 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:12,916 Clay! 1500 01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,594 Oh, fuck. 1501 01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:16,155 Hey, sis. 1502 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:17,590 Hey, hey, hey. 1503 01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:19,959 Carol, before you get mad, Iisten to what I did. 1504 01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:21,076 I said no party! 1505 01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:22,954 That's all I said. All you had to do was nothing, 1506 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,151 and you couldn't even do that! Couldn't even do that! 1507 01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:26,953 Carol, Carol, Carol! 1508 01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:28,310 This is not what you think, okay? 1509 01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:29,595 This is all for a reason. 1510 01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:34,191 Listen. We threw this party for Walter Davis, 1511 01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:36,516 and we closed him, he wants to give us his business. 1512 01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:37,756 - We did it. - See? 1513 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:39,997 I'm not a failure. I'm a good boss. The party worked! 1514 01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:42,519 - Walter Davis? - Yeah. 1515 01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:44,319 - Is at this party? - That's right. 1516 01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:45,630 Where is he? 1517 01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,390 I don't know. Where was he? He was just on the stage. 1518 01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:49,960 Oh... Guys? Guys! 1519 01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:52,110 That's not good. 1520 01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:55,074 Here we go! 1521 01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:56,919 Do it! Do it! Do it! 1522 01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:58,713 No, no, no. Shh! 1523 01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:01,520 - What are you doing? - Hey, that was my idea. 1524 01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:03,911 - Not relevant. - Walter? Hey, buddy! 1525 01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,952 Why don't you come down using the stairs? 1526 01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,151 No. Clay, it's like you said! 1527 01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:10,955 I want to do something that scares me. To feel 1528 01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:12,150 alive! 1529 01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:13,954 Maybe not right now. 1530 01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:15,713 What did you guys do to him? 1531 01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:17,149 Let go of those lines, buddy! 1532 01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:21,077 I'm the king of I.T. buyers! 1533 01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:23,110 Whoo! 1534 01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:28,314 - Oh! - Shit! 1535 01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:30,356 Oh! 1536 01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:31,954 Oh, God. 1537 01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,156 So close. 1538 01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:39,910 Hey, Walter. 1539 01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:40,950 You were like an eagle up there. 1540 01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:42,799 You were free. You did it. 1541 01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:43,996 Did we win? 1542 01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:45,714 Yeah, we won. 1543 01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:48,112 Zenotek! Zenotek! 1544 01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:49,795 That poor guy. 1545 01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:50,950 What a day he's had. 1546 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:52,958 First he gets fired and now this. 1547 01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:54,792 - Wait, what? - Did you say fired? 1548 01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:55,950 Oh, yeah. 1549 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,958 Oh, he got fired at the close of business today. 1550 01:06:57,960 --> 01:06:59,076 He told me, like, two hours ago. 1551 01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:00,959 They shipped his whole branch overseas. 1552 01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:01,950 What? 1553 01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:03,758 I confirmed it with my H.R. Facebook group. 1554 01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:04,956 And they know everything. 1555 01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:08,080 Excuse me. Just to clarify, because I'm detail-oriented. 1556 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:11,120 So you didn't get a contract with Walter Davis 1557 01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:13,631 because he didn't have a contract to give. 1558 01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:15,360 Carol, before you get mad, here's the thing... 1559 01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:16,556 He wanted to work with us. 1560 01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:17,756 - So... - Clay. Clay! 1561 01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:18,956 Yeah? 1562 01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,634 I'm not mad. 1563 01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:21,956 You're not? 1564 01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:24,555 I mean, I was mad when Dad gave you this branch 1565 01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:26,952 just as a reward for taking six years 1566 01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,953 to graduate with a degree in... What is it? 1567 01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:33,354 Canadian television theory with concentration in Drake. 1568 01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:35,280 But this doesn't make me mad. 1569 01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:37,558 - I feel relieved. - All right. 1570 01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:38,960 Because it's over. 1571 01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:42,156 - I'm shutting you down. - Yeah, no, because it's late. 1572 01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:43,396 Allison got a clean-up crew 1573 01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:44,596 - for tomorrow. - Uh-huh. 1574 01:07:44,720 --> 01:07:47,713 No, Clay. I'm terminating this branch. 1575 01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,270 I'm such a dickhead. I started to like this place, 1576 01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,317 and then I get fucked. I get fucked! 1577 01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,756 No, no, no. Stop it, stop it. Carol, let's take one beat. 1578 01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:55,950 Look, look, Carol. Carol. 1579 01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:57,110 I fucked up, okay, so blame me. 1580 01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,395 But these are good people. 1581 01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:00,797 You can't close this branch. This is Dad's branch. 1582 01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:01,950 Well, you know what? He shouldn't have 1583 01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:03,155 given it to you to fuck up. 1584 01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:08,350 Oh, and, uh, good luck trying to be Mr Fun Guy 1585 01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:10,598 when you have to fire all these people. 1586 01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:11,756 Whoo! 1587 01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:13,160 I'll see you in New York. 1588 01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:14,316 Wait, what? 1589 01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:15,914 Did your little friend not tell you? 1590 01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:16,950 He's coming to work for me. 1591 01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:18,076 Yeah, right. 1592 01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:19,310 I never said yes to that job. 1593 01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,312 I don't recall you ever saying no. 1594 01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:29,116 Clay. 1595 01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:31,556 Clay, I never sa... Hey. 1596 01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:32,950 Clay. 1597 01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:38,320 Oh, hey, Clay... You told me you had a two-drink limit. 1598 01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:41,079 Yeah. You're right. 1599 01:08:41,560 --> 01:08:44,758 Now, y'all didn't forget about DJ Calvis! 1600 01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:46,718 Whoo! 1601 01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,555 I want to go back to the party! 1602 01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:57,960 Whoo! 1603 01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,713 Hey! What the hell? 1604 01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:02,394 I hired you to pretend to be my girlfriend, 1605 01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,597 then you go and give all my co-workers hand jobs? 1606 01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,911 You hired me to impress your co-workers, 1607 01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:07,996 and he was pretty impressed. 1608 01:09:08,200 --> 01:09:10,556 - Listen, I want my money back. - Well... 1609 01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:12,154 I'm sorry, what was that? 1610 01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:14,512 I couldn't hear you over my gun. 1611 01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,355 - I, um, I want my money back. - Oh. 1612 01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:21,510 I'm sorry. Customer services are not available right now, 1613 01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,956 but perhaps I can address your grievance. 1614 01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:26,156 Um, everything's fine. 1615 01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:27,953 Would you say like a five on Yelp, 1616 01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:29,957 or like positive three? 1617 01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:30,950 Five. 1618 01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:32,309 Five? Alexei! 1619 01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:34,710 Uh... 1620 01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:36,756 This is so funny. 1621 01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,594 Do that thing where you pull his asshole through his face. 1622 01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:40,950 Don't please. Shit! 1623 01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,191 Santa's gonna get fucked up tonight! 1624 01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:45,951 Who wants to party with Santa? 1625 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,400 Who the fuck is that? 1626 01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:49,154 You know what, that guy is really rich. 1627 01:09:49,280 --> 01:09:50,760 And he's really stupid. 1628 01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,758 Well, then what are we doing with Spelling Bee here? 1629 01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:54,354 Get outta here. Go! 1630 01:09:55,120 --> 01:09:57,954 Hey, Santa! Wanna party? 1631 01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:01,756 Yeah. 1632 01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:04,952 Tracey! Tracey! Hey. 1633 01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:06,950 Tracey! 1634 01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:08,270 Hey! 1635 01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:09,996 Tracey? 1636 01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:12,838 Tracey, are you in here? 1637 01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:15,155 Oh, pardon me. 1638 01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:16,556 Hello? 1639 01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:17,910 Oh. 1640 01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:20,191 Josh, it's happening. 1641 01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:22,155 Good for you. 1642 01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:26,274 Hey, Tracey, which one are you in? 1643 01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:29,952 Hi. Carol offered me a job, but in no way did I say... 1644 01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,314 Josh. I get it. 1645 01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:33,399 She offered me a job, too. 1646 01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:35,633 - What? She offered you a job? - Yeah. 1647 01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:36,836 Triple the salary. 1648 01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,553 An apartment overlooking Central Park. 1649 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:40,957 I got double and moving costs. 1650 01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:43,191 The real difference is I said no. 1651 01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:44,959 Listen, I'm not fighting with you about this. 1652 01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:45,996 It's silly. I didn't take the job. 1653 01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,192 Yeah. But you didn't not take it, either. 1654 01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:50,956 Because you need a safety net. Hey, that's who you are. 1655 01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:53,720 I'm happy for you. You should go to New York. 1656 01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:57,320 Is that what you want? You want me to go to New York? 1657 01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:59,552 There's a real human centipede situation 1658 01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:00,710 happening in the men's room. 1659 01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:02,952 Tracey, please. Don't go. 1660 01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,834 Whoa, this is almost the whole marketing department in here. 1661 01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,957 - Can I get a drink? - Josh, Josh. 1662 01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,189 Josh, where's Clay? 1663 01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:12,960 Asswipe loses everybody their jobs and runs. 1664 01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:14,719 How much did he spend on this party? 1665 01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:15,950 He could have just given that money to us. 1666 01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:17,110 Clay sucks. 1667 01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:18,316 We should just kill him, Iike on that podcast. 1668 01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:19,959 Put the Red Bull down. 1669 01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,713 Respectfully, fuck you guys! 1670 01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:23,633 Sorry, that was too much, but... 1671 01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:25,832 Clay cares more about people 1672 01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,189 than anyone I've ever met. 1673 01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:29,154 He was gonna pay your bonuses tonight 1674 01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:30,350 with the last of his money. 1675 01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:31,636 What? 1676 01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:33,080 Yeah, he's broke. Clay is broke. 1677 01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:34,350 Who do you think paid 1678 01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:36,113 for that bouncy house in accounting? 1679 01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,277 Training that dog to deliver the mail? 1680 01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:41,155 The zip-Iine? Doughnut Fridays? 1681 01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:42,600 It was all Clay! 1682 01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:43,950 He spent all of his money 1683 01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:45,799 trying to keep this branch afloat. 1684 01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:47,952 And whenever I questioned him about it, he would say, 1685 01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:50,397 "Treat your employees Iike they're your family 1686 01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:51,960 "and they'll do great things for you." 1687 01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:53,949 You guys, Clay just left to get drugs 1688 01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:55,150 with Becca and her pimp. 1689 01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:56,510 Wait... Who's Becca? 1690 01:11:56,720 --> 01:11:58,598 - Nate's whore. - Hey, that's his girlfriend! 1691 01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:00,280 Nope, she's right. 1692 01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:02,194 Becca's a prostitute. 1693 01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:03,760 Oh, nice. 1694 01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:04,950 Oh. Nope. 1695 01:12:04,960 --> 01:12:06,599 Clay left to go get drugs with a pimp? 1696 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:08,951 Yes. She has a gun and a serious mood imbalance. 1697 01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:10,509 Fuck. Carol! 1698 01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:11,716 We have a problem. 1699 01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:13,359 Yeah, you have Iots of problems. Good luck. 1700 01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:15,394 Carol, excuse me. 1701 01:12:16,160 --> 01:12:17,799 Carol! Listen. 1702 01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:19,997 Clay has gone to get wasted with a psychopath, 1703 01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:22,556 and he's got $300,000 strapped to his chest. 1704 01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:25,071 Ooh, that really does sound Iike a big problem... 1705 01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:26,590 For Clay. 1706 01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:27,756 You already lost your dad. 1707 01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:29,513 If you lose Clay, you'll have no one. 1708 01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,951 Trust me, that's not a place you want to be. 1709 01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:34,794 - I don't care. - What? 1710 01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:38,160 - Oh, boy. This woman... - What is wrong with her? 1711 01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:41,070 Really? 1712 01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:43,078 Guys! I don't know what to do. 1713 01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:44,276 Clay's not picking up his phone. 1714 01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:46,513 I think I can locate him. 1715 01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:48,600 This is so amazing to me, guys. 1716 01:12:48,720 --> 01:12:50,120 We can actually connect with, you know. 1717 01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:51,959 Yeah. Yeah. There we go. 1718 01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:53,076 - Amazing. - Absolutely. 1719 01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:55,277 They're full of shit, okay? They're not your soulmates. 1720 01:12:55,360 --> 01:12:56,635 They just hacked your Facebook. 1721 01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:59,270 - That's horseshit! - Unbelievable. So uncool. 1722 01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:00,396 - Hey, wait! - No, no, no, girls! 1723 01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,270 I knew you didn't like the Gilmore Girls. 1724 01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:04,954 Okay, I'm gonna need both of you assclowns 1725 01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,072 to hack into Clay's phone so we can find him. 1726 01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:08,959 Come on, why would we help you, dude, seriously? 1727 01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:10,719 Yeah, why would we help you? 1728 01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:13,634 Because I'm your fucking boss, and I'm telling you to. 1729 01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:16,634 - He can't touch him! - I'll allow it. 1730 01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,957 Ooh, there's a car on fire. Did the Bears win? 1731 01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:32,758 What are you looking at? 1732 01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:37,150 Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, Jesus. 1733 01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:41,519 Hey, if everybody's fired, 1734 01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:44,594 Iet's burn this place to the ground, baby! 1735 01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:47,957 Hey! Hey, what department are you in? 1736 01:13:48,080 --> 01:13:49,514 I don't work here. 1737 01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:52,076 Let's do this, baby! Who's with me? 1738 01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:54,950 Fuck. 1739 01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,790 If I tell y'all one more time to back up, 1740 01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:06,957 it's gonna be a problem. I'm not playing with y'all! 1741 01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:08,314 Carla! Carla! I need you to go upstairs 1742 01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:09,993 and lock this shit down. We gotta go help Clay. 1743 01:14:10,160 --> 01:14:11,196 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck that! 1744 01:14:11,320 --> 01:14:13,960 The security guard was the first one to go in Die Hard. 1745 01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:16,999 Carla, this is the one you knew would come. 1746 01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:18,549 Be our John McClane. 1747 01:14:19,120 --> 01:14:20,190 I'm on it. 1748 01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:22,756 Hey. 1749 01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:23,956 In case it gets dark. 1750 01:14:26,280 --> 01:14:27,999 Who wants to get tased? 1751 01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:31,792 Okay, where's your car? 1752 01:14:31,960 --> 01:14:33,917 I took a cab. I thought we were gonna take your car. 1753 01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:34,950 No, I took the EI. 1754 01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:38,639 Let's go get our Santa. 1755 01:14:38,760 --> 01:14:39,796 - Great! - Oh. 1756 01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:42,913 Come on! No, don't. It's a lift and pull. 1757 01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:44,514 You're jerking it! Jesus Christ, let me do it. 1758 01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:45,716 - I'm pulling out. - Oh! 1759 01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:47,598 All right. Yeah, it's... It's locked. 1760 01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:48,950 Thanks. 1761 01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:51,639 Get in. Come on. 1762 01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:54,560 What'd you get all over your seats? 1763 01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:55,950 Oh, no, it's from the parrots. 1764 01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:57,599 Relax, it's not poop. It's some... 1765 01:14:57,800 --> 01:14:59,917 It's genital secretions. It's mating season. 1766 01:14:59,960 --> 01:15:01,917 - Oh. - Should be dry. 1767 01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,111 Okay. Nate says Clay's on the South Side. 1768 01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,919 He is not gonna fuck this up for me. 1769 01:15:09,280 --> 01:15:11,511 The board will vote me CEO. 1770 01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:14,280 That is happening. So let's just do this, okay? 1771 01:15:15,760 --> 01:15:17,956 - Can this thing handle snow? - Oh, please. It's a Kia. 1772 01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:19,759 It's what God would drive. 1773 01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:35,520 Oh! 1774 01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:37,956 Guys, you know, the thing is, I told everybody 1775 01:15:37,960 --> 01:15:39,713 they were gonna be okay, but then they weren't. 1776 01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:42,719 And so, I broke a Christmas promise, which... 1777 01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:45,359 Is basically the worst thing you can do. 1778 01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:48,071 I mean, it is so stressful being the boss. 1779 01:15:48,160 --> 01:15:49,594 Nobody ever talks about that. 1780 01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:50,956 No. No, not at all. 1781 01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:51,950 And if you want to complain about it, 1782 01:15:51,960 --> 01:15:54,077 everybody's like, "Oh, boo-hoo you, rich Santa." 1783 01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:55,640 Yeah, no one gives a shit! 1784 01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:56,956 I can't call people up and be like, 1785 01:15:56,960 --> 01:15:58,713 "Oh! I'm having a bad pimp day." 1786 01:15:58,920 --> 01:15:59,956 See, you understand. 1787 01:16:00,080 --> 01:16:03,278 I get clients calling me 24/7. Middle of the night, 3:00 AM: 1788 01:16:03,520 --> 01:16:04,715 Brring, brring, brring! 1789 01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:06,832 "Hey, I need anal, Iike yesterday." 1790 01:16:06,960 --> 01:16:07,950 Yeah, the same with me! 1791 01:16:07,960 --> 01:16:09,599 Except instead of anal, it's data storage. 1792 01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:11,792 Or, "I'm, like, chairing a PTA meeting. 1793 01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:13,354 "Can you have someone blow me in the gymnasium?" 1794 01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:14,954 Yeah, absolutely. It never ends. 1795 01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:17,959 Or, like, "Hey, your girl just stabbed me in the leg 1796 01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:19,155 "and now I'm bleeding out in the alleyway." 1797 01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:21,713 I don't relate to that as much. 1798 01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:24,071 It's mental, right? How much people lean on you? 1799 01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:26,795 And my sister wanted me to be a failure, 1800 01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:28,912 and I was, so she's not gonna let that go. 1801 01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:31,520 That's the problem of working with family, though. 1802 01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:34,071 - Yeah. - You can never escape them. 1803 01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:36,557 You can never escape them. 1804 01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:38,189 But you know what, you're gonna be fine, man. 1805 01:16:38,320 --> 01:16:39,356 You know why? 1806 01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:41,273 'Cause you've got all that money, honey. 1807 01:16:41,720 --> 01:16:43,951 Yeah, that's the thing. I don't, actually. 1808 01:16:44,080 --> 01:16:45,912 I spent it all trying to keep the branch open. 1809 01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:48,600 All I have left is just $300,000 cash. 1810 01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:50,155 You have 300 grand. 1811 01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:51,760 Oh, my gosh. Whenever I'm that low in my account, 1812 01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:53,354 I'm just like, "Kill me." 1813 01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:55,074 Uh, so where is the money? 1814 01:16:55,280 --> 01:16:58,717 - It's on my person. It's safe. - It's in your personal safe? 1815 01:16:59,800 --> 01:17:01,792 Okay, we're close. No, no, this is it! This is... 1816 01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:03,798 There's a spot! Right there. You passed it! 1817 01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:07,792 Careful. Easy. 1818 01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:10,910 Oh! 1819 01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:12,954 That's how you park a minivan. 1820 01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:14,719 - Jeez! - Very impressive. 1821 01:17:14,920 --> 01:17:17,594 Okay, Nate, are you sure about this address here? 1822 01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:19,951 Yes. 92765 Union Street. 1823 01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:23,120 That's where the pin is. Uh, Red Square Club. 1824 01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:26,798 Brian, I can see you fucking on my desk! 1825 01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:30,795 Uh... 1826 01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:33,836 - I'll go see what's going on. - Okay. 1827 01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:35,920 This is it. 1828 01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:39,390 Oh, my God. 1829 01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:44,196 Well, maybe he deserved it. Who knows? 1830 01:17:44,400 --> 01:17:45,754 Here we go, guys. Come on. 1831 01:17:45,960 --> 01:17:47,952 Quickly? Because I don't know what's gonna happen in there. 1832 01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:50,950 Last year I filed a sexual harassment complaint 1833 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,195 against myself. 1834 01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:53,959 - Against yourself. - Mmm-hmm. 1835 01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:58,556 Andrew, in the copy room, he was changing the toner. 1836 01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:01,191 And I pretended to drop something on the ground 1837 01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:03,194 so that I could bend over 1838 01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,959 and graze his butt with my nose. 1839 01:18:05,960 --> 01:18:06,950 And I did. 1840 01:18:11,960 --> 01:18:14,316 - That doesn't seem that bad. - And then I said, 1841 01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:18,634 "If you don't fuck me, buster, I will ruin you." 1842 01:18:18,960 --> 01:18:20,155 Hmm. That's harassment. 1843 01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:22,154 That's why he quit. 1844 01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:24,950 You seem like you feel better. Here we go. 1845 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:26,116 Wait! No, guys, 1846 01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:28,272 we can't go in there looking like this. 1847 01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:32,070 Hey, Carol? 1848 01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:34,314 Why don't you give me your coat? 1849 01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:51,798 - How we doing tonight? - Private party. Members only. 1850 01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:54,394 Well, I'm a businessman. 1851 01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:55,960 These are my business ladies 1852 01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:58,192 of the night. You hear what I'm saying to you? 1853 01:18:58,640 --> 01:18:59,790 They only come out at night. 1854 01:18:59,920 --> 01:19:01,070 - Okay. Okay. - Mostly for parties. 1855 01:19:08,360 --> 01:19:10,511 It's a beautiful language. 1856 01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:14,713 Nice, Carol. 1857 01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:21,953 Seems like an appropriate setting 1858 01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:23,593 for an emotional rock bottom. 1859 01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:27,957 Oh, there's a back room. 1860 01:19:37,720 --> 01:19:38,756 Hi. 1861 01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,071 How you doing? Have you seen a guy in a Santa suit? 1862 01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:43,272 Fuck you. I don't tell you anything. 1863 01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:44,954 - All right, now listen here. - Nuh-uh-uh. 1864 01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:52,396 Hi. Me again. Where's Santa? 1865 01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:53,989 Fuck you. 1866 01:19:54,720 --> 01:19:56,951 You do not want to die at the hands of Lululemon here. 1867 01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:58,953 It'd be real embarrassing. You're a large guy, 1868 01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:01,595 and she's made of nothing but salad and Smartwater. 1869 01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:03,956 Nope, no tap outs. 1870 01:20:05,080 --> 01:20:06,719 Back door? Thank you. 1871 01:20:06,960 --> 01:20:08,360 - Bitch. - What? 1872 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:11,116 Was that too much? 1873 01:20:11,320 --> 01:20:13,118 - Just a little. - I loved it. 1874 01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:14,550 Let's go. 1875 01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:16,792 - Hey! - Oh, God. 1876 01:20:16,960 --> 01:20:18,360 Oh. Go. I got this. Go, go. 1877 01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:19,954 Okay. Enjoy. 1878 01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:23,273 Come on, let's party. 1879 01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:27,837 Vin Diesel ain't got shit on me! 1880 01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:28,996 Clay! 1881 01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:31,639 What did he say? 1882 01:20:31,760 --> 01:20:32,796 I think I know where they're going. 1883 01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:33,956 Let's get the car. Come on! 1884 01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:39,280 Let's go! 1885 01:20:41,960 --> 01:20:42,950 Excuse me. Excuse me. 1886 01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:45,276 Hey, Mary? Mary, get in the car! 1887 01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:48,360 Damn it. 1888 01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:05,110 # God rest ye merry gentlemen 1889 01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:08,639 # Let nothing you dismay 1890 01:21:09,960 --> 01:21:13,158 # Remember Christ the Saviour 1891 01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:16,838 # Was born on Christmas Day 1892 01:21:17,640 --> 01:21:21,395 # To save us all from Satan's power 1893 01:21:21,840 --> 01:21:24,355 # When we were gone astray 1894 01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:30,717 # Tidings of comfort and joy 1895 01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:32,514 # Comfort and joy 1896 01:21:32,960 --> 01:21:36,749 # Oh, tidings of comfort 1897 01:21:36,960 --> 01:21:40,317 # Comfort and joy! # 1898 01:21:59,760 --> 01:22:02,320 - Oh, God. - Yeah, I fucked up. I did. 1899 01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:03,955 I lost a lot of people's jobs. 1900 01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:05,838 I hurt a lot of good people tonight. 1901 01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:07,360 Oh, yeah, totally. Cool story. 1902 01:22:07,520 --> 01:22:08,715 Are we coming up to your apartment building 1903 01:22:08,800 --> 01:22:09,995 on the left, to the right, or... 1904 01:22:10,200 --> 01:22:11,395 We're not going to my apartment. 1905 01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:12,630 Uh, yes, we are. 1906 01:22:12,840 --> 01:22:14,399 We are going to your apartment to go to the safe. 1907 01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,632 There's nothing safe about what we're gonna do. 1908 01:22:16,960 --> 01:22:18,280 Yeah, it's like you said, you know. 1909 01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:20,750 We need to escape them, so that's what we're gonna do. 1910 01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:22,553 - Red light. - What the fuck 1911 01:22:22,760 --> 01:22:23,955 are you talking about? There's a red light! 1912 01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:24,950 That's a red light! 1913 01:22:27,600 --> 01:22:29,159 Oh, yeah! 1914 01:22:29,840 --> 01:22:32,309 We go right through 'em. They're just suggestions. 1915 01:22:35,640 --> 01:22:37,120 - Can you look at that fuck? - Oh, the fucking windshield. 1916 01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:38,316 Are you kidding? Not now! 1917 01:22:38,400 --> 01:22:40,392 That's the A.C., Josh. We don't need that right now. 1918 01:22:40,600 --> 01:22:41,636 What about that? 1919 01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:42,910 Oh. No, that's the recirculating mode. 1920 01:22:42,960 --> 01:22:45,953 How am I gonna run Zenotek without this Genius Bar? 1921 01:22:45,960 --> 01:22:47,076 You can get up here and help if you'd like. 1922 01:22:47,160 --> 01:22:48,560 Okay, my seat's getting hotter. 1923 01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:49,956 Mary, why do you even have a minivan? 1924 01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:51,997 - You don't have kids. - I buy in bulk! 1925 01:22:52,560 --> 01:22:53,710 - Oh! It's them! - Yeah. 1926 01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:54,950 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good eyes. 1927 01:22:55,080 --> 01:22:56,958 Oh, God! What's that smell? 1928 01:22:56,960 --> 01:22:58,076 I'm gonna be honest with you, 1929 01:22:58,160 --> 01:22:59,514 I have been farting this entire time. 1930 01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:04,954 Oh, my gosh. 1931 01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,150 Okay, you know what, 1932 01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:07,953 take me to your personal safe right now. 1933 01:23:08,160 --> 01:23:09,514 We don't need money where we're going. 1934 01:23:09,720 --> 01:23:10,949 - Where are we going? - For glory. 1935 01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:12,076 The Clark Street Bridge. 1936 01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:13,555 This time of night it'll be up. 1937 01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:15,950 We're gonna jump the bridge and never look back. 1938 01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:24,196 Okay, new game. Pull over. 1939 01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:25,390 Just pull over or I'll tuck and roll. 1940 01:23:25,560 --> 01:23:26,789 - No, no, no. Trina, Trina. - Just slow down. 1941 01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,713 Trina, I've been thinking about this for a while. 1942 01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:29,916 We can make this jump. 1943 01:23:29,960 --> 01:23:30,950 I let a lot of people down, 1944 01:23:30,960 --> 01:23:32,519 but I'm not gonna let you guys down. 1945 01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,956 We're gonna escape our families and become anew! 1946 01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:36,355 Pull over right now. 1947 01:23:36,520 --> 01:23:38,079 Or I shoot you in the fucking brain. 1948 01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:39,600 Well, you can't shoot him, 1949 01:23:39,720 --> 01:23:41,279 because then he's gonna crash the car. 1950 01:23:41,520 --> 01:23:43,591 Really, Savannah? Really? 1951 01:23:43,800 --> 01:23:44,950 Why don't you put it in an email 1952 01:23:44,960 --> 01:23:45,996 and c.c. everyone, all right? 1953 01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:47,918 Make double sure everyone got it. 1954 01:23:48,600 --> 01:23:50,796 You know what, you should start a podcast, Savannah, 1955 01:23:50,920 --> 01:23:53,071 called "Savannah Says Fucking Stupid Things Out Loud." 1956 01:23:59,960 --> 01:24:00,950 Clay! 1957 01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:02,594 Clay! Hey, listen, I'm sorry! 1958 01:24:02,720 --> 01:24:03,995 I was never gonna take that job. 1959 01:24:04,320 --> 01:24:05,390 Not good enough! 1960 01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:07,074 Do not jump that bridge. 1961 01:24:07,280 --> 01:24:09,954 I have to do this. Carol's right, I'm a fuckup! 1962 01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:12,396 Shit! 1963 01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:20,720 Pull over, you fucking idiot! 1964 01:24:20,960 --> 01:24:23,350 Or, the nice supportive version? 1965 01:24:23,720 --> 01:24:26,076 Pull over, fucking idiot! 1966 01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:27,316 No. 1967 01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:29,079 Hey, tell him to pull over, lady! 1968 01:24:29,280 --> 01:24:33,274 Look. Pull over! Pull over! Pull over! It doesn't work! 1969 01:24:33,720 --> 01:24:36,360 - It's not working. - None of it works! 1970 01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:37,795 Hey, Clay, 1971 01:24:37,960 --> 01:24:40,714 you jump that bridge, I'm going with you. 1972 01:24:40,920 --> 01:24:41,956 What? No! 1973 01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:43,355 Yes, I am. 1974 01:24:43,520 --> 01:24:45,955 Did you say hit it at 80 or 90, Vin Diesel? 1975 01:24:46,640 --> 01:24:48,950 - Put it into sport. - Here we go. 1976 01:24:51,720 --> 01:24:53,518 Josh, I'm sorry that I said you were safe. 1977 01:24:53,920 --> 01:24:55,798 - You don't have to do this. - Yes, I do. 1978 01:24:55,960 --> 01:24:57,917 Josh, what are you doing, man? 1979 01:24:57,960 --> 01:24:59,917 You go, we all go! 1980 01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:01,950 Fuck. 1981 01:25:02,840 --> 01:25:04,832 I love America! 1982 01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:12,834 I am not gonna die in a minivan. 1983 01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:15,760 Hey, hey, hey! Get off the wheel! 1984 01:25:59,960 --> 01:26:02,634 We could've made that bridge, panty hose. 1985 01:26:04,320 --> 01:26:05,640 Where's Clay? 1986 01:26:13,320 --> 01:26:15,960 It was on your person. 1987 01:26:21,920 --> 01:26:23,639 What did we hit? 1988 01:26:23,960 --> 01:26:25,952 The collision severed the primary fibre line, 1989 01:26:26,080 --> 01:26:27,639 as well as its backup, 1990 01:26:27,840 --> 01:26:29,752 paralyzing lnternet, DSL, 1991 01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:31,957 and cellular communications citywide. 1992 01:26:32,200 --> 01:26:34,351 So if you haven't ordered your holiday gifts early, 1993 01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:36,637 you may not be able to order them at all. 1994 01:26:36,960 --> 01:26:38,952 I quit, by the way! 1995 01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:41,390 You quit what? What, Savannah? What'd you quit? 1996 01:26:41,640 --> 01:26:43,154 Just a couple of normal girls here. 1997 01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:44,954 Move it, move it! Clear! 1998 01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:46,554 The Internet's down. 1999 01:26:46,960 --> 01:26:48,314 My brother needs a doctor! 2000 01:26:48,560 --> 01:26:49,959 Ma'am, you're gonna need to wait your turn. 2001 01:26:49,960 --> 01:26:51,394 Will you find someone that will help my brother? 2002 01:26:51,760 --> 01:26:53,956 All of you, just back up! 2003 01:26:54,200 --> 01:26:57,318 Back up. Make a single file line against that wall 2004 01:26:57,560 --> 01:27:00,951 and she will be with you when she has a fucking minute! 2005 01:27:09,360 --> 01:27:12,558 You know, you trying to jump that bridge was really... 2006 01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,951 Brave? That what you were going for? 2007 01:27:15,960 --> 01:27:17,713 No. Stupid. I was gonna say stupid. 2008 01:27:17,800 --> 01:27:19,757 No. I... I would say brave. 2009 01:27:19,840 --> 01:27:21,797 - A little brave. - Yeah. Hi. 2010 01:27:21,960 --> 01:27:23,952 - Hey, how is he? - Oh. He's fine. 2011 01:27:24,000 --> 01:27:25,912 In fact, the doctor said that the crash 2012 01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:28,395 actually fixed a previous fracture. 2013 01:27:28,960 --> 01:27:30,792 He's got... He's got this gift. 2014 01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:32,115 I don't... I don't get it. 2015 01:27:32,360 --> 01:27:34,556 - Oh. Thank God he's okay. - Oh, well... 2016 01:27:34,960 --> 01:27:37,111 So, maybe you'll reconsider firing everyone? 2017 01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:39,790 Once it gets out there that we caused this crash, 2018 01:27:39,920 --> 01:27:40,990 the board finds out, 2019 01:27:41,320 --> 01:27:43,312 my ass is fired. No one has a job. 2020 01:27:43,760 --> 01:27:45,911 - So... - Carol? 2021 01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:48,276 Is now a good time to exchange insurance information 2022 01:27:48,360 --> 01:27:49,635 for the car stuff? 2023 01:27:49,840 --> 01:27:52,639 It's not. You know, we would've made it, by the way. 2024 01:27:52,840 --> 01:27:54,957 - At the speed you were going? - Comfortably. 2025 01:27:55,080 --> 01:27:57,117 Please. To make that jump, with that incline, 2026 01:27:57,200 --> 01:27:59,157 you would have had to at least been going... 2027 01:27:59,360 --> 01:28:00,953 - 110. - 95. 2028 01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:03,960 No, 95. 2029 01:28:04,640 --> 01:28:07,200 - It's simple math. - Oh. Well, okay. 2030 01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:09,278 It might be simple on paper, 2031 01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:12,398 but you're forgetting the wind, the weight of the Kia, 2032 01:28:12,960 --> 01:28:14,633 the four of us, 2033 01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:16,316 bird cages... 2034 01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:19,798 I prefer to call them bird condos, and so do the birds. 2035 01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:22,755 Point being, you have to adjust your numbers 2036 01:28:22,840 --> 01:28:25,150 to account for real world conditions. 2037 01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:28,958 Simple. Or did they not teach you that in hacker college? 2038 01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:30,276 You're right. 2039 01:28:30,400 --> 01:28:31,516 Thank you. 2040 01:28:32,000 --> 01:28:33,320 No, not about that. 2041 01:28:33,400 --> 01:28:35,198 Although hacker college does sound awesome. 2042 01:28:35,960 --> 01:28:38,111 It's AnywAir. I've been doing it wrong. 2043 01:28:40,600 --> 01:28:42,831 I... I've been treating the power grid 2044 01:28:42,960 --> 01:28:44,713 as if it was a seamless source of Internet. 2045 01:28:44,960 --> 01:28:47,270 It's not seamless, it's messy. It... 2046 01:28:48,160 --> 01:28:49,958 But if there was an opportunity 2047 01:28:50,960 --> 01:28:52,952 where the conditions were just right. 2048 01:28:53,720 --> 01:28:56,758 If we were inside of a vacuum. If it was still. 2049 01:28:57,160 --> 01:28:58,958 Oh, my God. 2050 01:28:59,160 --> 01:29:00,958 - An Internet blackout. - An Internet blackout! 2051 01:29:01,120 --> 01:29:02,156 Let's get you back to the office. 2052 01:29:02,280 --> 01:29:03,316 - Yes! - Come on. 2053 01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:06,077 I'm gonna text you that claims form, yeah? 2054 01:29:14,960 --> 01:29:17,953 - I'm sorry, Mary. - Go save the company! 2055 01:29:43,960 --> 01:29:45,360 Mum? 2056 01:29:46,960 --> 01:29:48,155 Dad? 2057 01:30:11,600 --> 01:30:12,636 Oh, my... 2058 01:30:15,320 --> 01:30:16,913 Oh. Hey. 2059 01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:18,196 Hey. 2060 01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:22,996 Carla! 2061 01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:24,395 - Wassup? - Morning. 2062 01:30:24,600 --> 01:30:26,956 I tased as many as I could, but... 2063 01:30:27,360 --> 01:30:29,591 Yeah. Well, I actually thought it was gonna be worse, so... 2064 01:30:29,960 --> 01:30:30,950 Uh-uh! 2065 01:30:31,080 --> 01:30:33,720 I see you, bitch! Uh-uh, bitch, I see you! 2066 01:30:33,960 --> 01:30:35,553 Your office was locked, right? 2067 01:30:35,640 --> 01:30:36,915 Yeah, of course. 2068 01:30:37,080 --> 01:30:39,834 - What... What's happening? - Did you guys find Clay? 2069 01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:50,758 - Sorry. Old habit. - Sure. 2070 01:30:51,080 --> 01:30:53,515 Okay. So, what... You're writing an algorithm 2071 01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:55,637 that can respond to the grid in real time? 2072 01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:57,399 - That's gonna take... - Done. 2073 01:30:58,720 --> 01:30:59,756 Forever. 2074 01:31:00,160 --> 01:31:02,356 Nate! How's that server bank? 2075 01:31:02,840 --> 01:31:04,797 Still covered in beer! Five minutes! 2076 01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:06,599 I hope it's beer. 2077 01:31:07,960 --> 01:31:08,996 Hey. 2078 01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:10,395 Uh, about what happened... 2079 01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:11,959 All good. Everyone has their thing. 2080 01:31:11,960 --> 01:31:14,077 I know it seems weird, but I just crave discipline. 2081 01:31:14,160 --> 01:31:15,833 My family had no set meal times. 2082 01:31:15,960 --> 01:31:18,077 Yeah, it's cool. I don't need your origin story. 2083 01:31:18,320 --> 01:31:20,357 Promise me you won't tell anyone? 2084 01:31:20,800 --> 01:31:22,393 - I'll do your taxes! - Deal. 2085 01:31:22,760 --> 01:31:23,796 Great. 2086 01:31:23,960 --> 01:31:26,953 Oh, my God, the office. Hey, guys, I got doughnuts! 2087 01:31:27,160 --> 01:31:29,959 I got, uh, jelly and glazed and, uh, 2088 01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:31,953 some other stuff. But no Cronuts, 2089 01:31:31,960 --> 01:31:33,360 that's a bastard pastry. 2090 01:31:36,960 --> 01:31:38,633 I still hate your rules. 2091 01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:41,631 But your dancing is 2092 01:31:41,960 --> 01:31:43,394 wild and free. 2093 01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:45,792 Like an unmanned fire hose. 2094 01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,758 Put your pants on. 2095 01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:54,070 For now. 2096 01:31:56,080 --> 01:31:57,753 Now, we can't fix the Internet 2097 01:31:57,840 --> 01:31:58,956 if we can't get on the Internet. 2098 01:31:58,960 --> 01:32:00,189 Everything is down. 2099 01:32:00,400 --> 01:32:01,720 Okay, well, all the phones are working. 2100 01:32:01,800 --> 01:32:02,950 What about a dial-up modem? 2101 01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:04,314 Great. Now all you need is a RadioShack 2102 01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:05,550 and a time machine. 2103 01:32:05,640 --> 01:32:08,155 - Oh, the G1 had it, right? - There's one in Clay's office. 2104 01:32:08,320 --> 01:32:09,356 I got the desk. Get the desk. 2105 01:32:09,520 --> 01:32:11,910 Okay, give me the wires. Plug it in here. Give me that. 2106 01:32:11,960 --> 01:32:14,077 Hey, I could use some of that giddy-up in H.R. 2107 01:32:14,160 --> 01:32:15,958 if you two ponies are looking for a new stable. 2108 01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:17,116 I am looking for a new stable, Mary. 2109 01:32:17,200 --> 01:32:18,316 Thank you so much. We'll talk later. 2110 01:32:18,560 --> 01:32:19,596 Mary, you're showing a lot of neck. 2111 01:32:19,720 --> 01:32:20,790 Breaking your own rules. 2112 01:32:20,960 --> 01:32:22,758 It's a little skanky, isn't it? 2113 01:32:22,960 --> 01:32:24,314 - Plug it in. - Plugged in. 2114 01:32:24,560 --> 01:32:25,960 Uh, I got this D.J. equipment, 2115 01:32:26,080 --> 01:32:27,116 if you want to use that for something. 2116 01:32:27,320 --> 01:32:28,993 Okay, that's not gonna help, but thank you. 2117 01:32:29,360 --> 01:32:30,396 All right, guys. 2118 01:32:31,120 --> 01:32:32,156 What now? 2119 01:32:32,360 --> 01:32:34,750 I press "Enter," it launches the protocol, and then... 2120 01:32:34,840 --> 01:32:36,115 And then everybody gets back on the Internet. 2121 01:32:36,200 --> 01:32:37,350 Hopefully. 2122 01:32:37,520 --> 01:32:38,954 Or I blow up the power grid. 2123 01:32:39,160 --> 01:32:41,072 - So be ready for that. - Okay? 2124 01:32:41,280 --> 01:32:43,511 Don't worry about that. Just hit "Enter." 2125 01:32:43,800 --> 01:32:44,950 Okay, guys. 2126 01:32:45,800 --> 01:32:46,836 Here we go. 2127 01:32:55,960 --> 01:32:57,553 Power's still on. 2128 01:32:57,640 --> 01:32:59,199 Yeah, I'm honestly shocked by that. 2129 01:32:59,400 --> 01:33:00,754 No Internet yet, though. 2130 01:33:00,840 --> 01:33:01,956 It could take a few seconds. 2131 01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:03,792 If it works, you'll have a connection alert. 2132 01:33:04,160 --> 01:33:05,913 - No. - No, nothing. 2133 01:33:06,080 --> 01:33:07,719 Nothing yet. 2134 01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:10,959 - No? Anybody? - No. 2135 01:33:11,080 --> 01:33:12,196 No, nothing. 2136 01:33:12,320 --> 01:33:13,356 Josh? 2137 01:33:13,560 --> 01:33:14,914 No. Just give it a little more time. 2138 01:33:17,320 --> 01:33:18,959 Maybe it wasn't ready. 2139 01:33:19,320 --> 01:33:20,993 Tracey, hey. 2140 01:33:21,400 --> 01:33:22,834 It's ready. 2141 01:33:23,160 --> 01:33:25,516 Still dead. Waiting for it. Still dead. 2142 01:33:31,960 --> 01:33:32,950 - Is that you? - Got it. 2143 01:33:33,080 --> 01:33:34,116 - Got it! - Oh, my God. 2144 01:33:34,560 --> 01:33:36,313 - Yep, I got it. - Oh, my God! 2145 01:33:36,720 --> 01:33:37,949 - Was that you? - I got it! 2146 01:33:38,080 --> 01:33:39,150 Yeah, I got it, too! 2147 01:33:39,560 --> 01:33:42,394 I got mine! Yeah. Yeah, there's mine. Holy shit! 2148 01:33:42,840 --> 01:33:44,069 - Tracey! - You did it! 2149 01:34:07,760 --> 01:34:09,319 Work never stops. You see that? 2150 01:34:09,560 --> 01:34:11,392 Excuse me. Excuse me. 2151 01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:14,196 Hello, yes. I am happy for you, but I do need you to 2152 01:34:14,400 --> 01:34:16,551 sign a personal relationship disclosure form 2153 01:34:16,640 --> 01:34:17,756 before this rounds first. 2154 01:34:17,840 --> 01:34:19,399 No. No, I don't think so. 2155 01:34:19,640 --> 01:34:21,996 Hey, Mary, sign this. 2156 01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:25,192 Oh. Oh, you know what? Um, I really like you, 2157 01:34:25,560 --> 01:34:27,631 um, but maybe we could get, Iike, a cup of coffee first, 2158 01:34:27,760 --> 01:34:28,830 or something? 2159 01:34:28,960 --> 01:34:30,838 Yeah! Totally. 2160 01:34:30,960 --> 01:34:33,191 That's what I meant by, "Sign this." 2161 01:34:33,640 --> 01:34:35,199 - You know what? Forget it. - Okay. 2162 01:34:46,080 --> 01:34:48,276 Glass of wine in a family photo? 2163 01:34:48,520 --> 01:34:50,751 Look at him in that suit. What a stud. 2164 01:34:51,080 --> 01:34:53,072 He wore that better than you. 2165 01:34:53,280 --> 01:34:55,715 Yeah, he did a lot of things better than me. 2166 01:34:55,960 --> 01:34:57,633 You're right to be pissed at me. 2167 01:34:57,840 --> 01:34:59,160 You know, I always got to do whatever I wanted 2168 01:34:59,280 --> 01:35:00,350 and you always ended up 2169 01:35:00,520 --> 01:35:01,590 with the shit end of the stick. 2170 01:35:01,840 --> 01:35:03,194 It wasn't fair. 2171 01:35:04,560 --> 01:35:05,994 I'm sorry, sis. 2172 01:35:06,840 --> 01:35:08,957 Thank you for that. 2173 01:35:09,840 --> 01:35:11,832 You never got to be the fun one, huh? 2174 01:35:11,960 --> 01:35:13,713 - I mean, I could have. Right? - Yeah. 2175 01:35:13,800 --> 01:35:14,995 - Sure. - I have... I have a fun side. 2176 01:35:15,200 --> 01:35:17,396 I've seen it many a time. 2177 01:35:17,640 --> 01:35:18,756 I mean... 2178 01:35:18,960 --> 01:35:20,758 Off the top of my head, I... 2179 01:35:20,960 --> 01:35:22,952 Remember that Thanksgiving that you taught everybody 2180 01:35:22,960 --> 01:35:24,758 the real rules of Monopoly? 2181 01:35:24,960 --> 01:35:26,952 With the bidding wars and the strict time limit and... 2182 01:35:27,120 --> 01:35:29,316 - Yeah, that wasn't fun. - I know. 2183 01:35:29,560 --> 01:35:32,917 Hi! My pain is at a 9 or a 10 or 11. 2184 01:35:32,960 --> 01:35:34,553 Whatever on the chart, the... 2185 01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:35,950 That face? 2186 01:35:36,320 --> 01:35:37,595 So can I get some Dilaudid 2187 01:35:37,720 --> 01:35:39,313 in another one of those little gelatine cups? 2188 01:35:39,760 --> 01:35:41,956 You can't buy those. I looked it up. 2189 01:35:44,760 --> 01:35:46,956 Huh. The Internet's back up. 2190 01:35:47,560 --> 01:35:49,631 What the hell is a Zenotek? 2191 01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:51,315 - What? - What? 2192 01:35:52,920 --> 01:35:56,914 Oh, my God! She did it. She did it! 2193 01:35:56,960 --> 01:35:58,713 - Shut the fuck door! - Oh. 2194 01:35:58,920 --> 01:35:59,956 I gotta tell you, I was always like, 2195 01:35:59,960 --> 01:36:01,519 "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense," 2196 01:36:01,720 --> 01:36:03,154 and she was like, "Words, words, words 2197 01:36:03,280 --> 01:36:04,953 "and some numbers." But she did it. 2198 01:36:05,760 --> 01:36:06,910 Oh, my God. 2199 01:36:06,960 --> 01:36:08,553 Wait. So, this means everybody gets to keep their jobs? 2200 01:36:08,640 --> 01:36:09,756 Everybody gets to keep their jobs. 2201 01:36:09,840 --> 01:36:10,956 Yes! 2202 01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:13,117 God, I am gonna be CEO. 2203 01:36:13,560 --> 01:36:15,119 Because you deserve it. 2204 01:36:15,800 --> 01:36:17,951 And you throw a great fucking party. 2205 01:36:18,200 --> 01:36:20,317 Yeah. I did, didn't I? 2206 01:36:21,400 --> 01:36:22,959 - Oh! Walter. - Walter. 2207 01:36:23,960 --> 01:36:24,996 - Oh, hello. - Hi. 2208 01:36:25,400 --> 01:36:27,198 - Carol. - Carol, nice to meet you. 2209 01:36:27,400 --> 01:36:29,198 There's my eagle. Hey. 2210 01:36:29,760 --> 01:36:33,117 I just want to thank you for the best night of my life! 2211 01:36:33,560 --> 01:36:34,755 Yeah? Yeah? 2212 01:36:35,360 --> 01:36:36,953 I'll see you on Monday. 2213 01:36:39,720 --> 01:36:41,951 Well, it looks like we just hired Walter Davis. 2214 01:36:43,960 --> 01:36:45,758 Well, he'll fit right in. 2215 01:36:47,320 --> 01:36:48,390 Wow. 2216 01:36:48,560 --> 01:36:49,960 Did you see that? 2217 01:36:51,400 --> 01:36:52,550 Oh. 2218 01:36:52,920 --> 01:36:54,752 - What are you doing? - Winner! 2219 01:36:54,960 --> 01:36:56,997 - We weren't racing. - Well, you weren't. 2220 01:36:57,400 --> 01:36:59,517 Why do you think they always make you leave a hospital 2221 01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:00,954 in a wheelchair? 2222 01:37:05,760 --> 01:37:07,114 What are you guys doing here? 2223 01:37:07,320 --> 01:37:08,959 Well, we can't go to breakfast without you. 2224 01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:11,191 - Come on, we're celebrating. - Come on, let's go. 2225 01:37:11,960 --> 01:37:14,919 I'm in. Breakfast is the most important meal 2226 01:37:14,960 --> 01:37:15,996 - of the morning. - Whoa! 2227 01:37:16,120 --> 01:37:17,839 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa. 2228 01:37:17,960 --> 01:37:18,950 We good? 2229 01:37:19,960 --> 01:37:21,952 Yeah. We're good. 2230 01:37:22,320 --> 01:37:24,551 - I'll go back down. - Your ankle is broken. 2231 01:37:24,760 --> 01:37:26,797 - Excuse me. Excuse me. - Yes. 2232 01:37:26,920 --> 01:37:27,956 - Oh. - You left this in your room. 2233 01:37:28,200 --> 01:37:29,953 Oh, I did. Thank you. I'm sorry. 2234 01:37:30,320 --> 01:37:31,754 And also this. 2235 01:37:32,120 --> 01:37:34,555 Oh, thank you, Doctor. Here. 2236 01:37:35,640 --> 01:37:36,710 No. 2237 01:37:36,800 --> 01:37:37,950 - Wanna get out of here? - Let's go. 2238 01:37:38,120 --> 01:37:40,555 Oh, no. I'm not getting in that. I ordered us an Uber. 2239 01:37:40,640 --> 01:37:41,710 Carol? 2240 01:37:41,800 --> 01:37:44,793 I don't mean this in a creepy way, but get in the van. 2241 01:37:44,960 --> 01:37:46,314 Yeah, we got to keep this train rolling. 2242 01:37:46,640 --> 01:37:47,756 - No. - Yes. 2243 01:37:47,840 --> 01:37:50,196 No! You cannot have alcohol on your medication. 2244 01:37:50,560 --> 01:37:52,119 Uh, fuck that. Drinking is medication. 2245 01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:54,153 Doctor, this is a... This is a work breakfast. 2246 01:37:54,280 --> 01:37:55,953 There will be no alcohol at all. 2247 01:37:55,960 --> 01:37:56,996 Okay? 2248 01:37:59,000 --> 01:38:00,275 Yeah. 2249 01:38:00,400 --> 01:38:01,595 I saw that. 2250 01:38:01,720 --> 01:38:03,951 Doctor, I assure you. I am in charge. 2251 01:38:04,080 --> 01:38:06,117 There will be no more partying. 2252 01:38:07,840 --> 01:38:09,957 I'm literally standing right in front of you. 2253 01:38:09,960 --> 01:38:10,950 I'm literally right here. 2254 01:38:11,120 --> 01:38:13,555 I just don't know what it is you think that I'm not seeing. 2255 01:38:13,760 --> 01:38:16,958 Doctor, I would never disobey medical advice. 2256 01:38:18,760 --> 01:38:19,955 Just go, just go. 2257 01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:21,116 It's an office thing. Here we go. 2258 01:38:21,200 --> 01:38:22,270 - Merry Christmas. - Let's go. 2259 01:38:22,360 --> 01:38:23,760 Let's roll it to the car. 2260 01:38:23,840 --> 01:38:25,115 Okay, Happy Holidays. 2261 01:38:25,360 --> 01:38:26,953 Thank you for your service, Doctor. 2262 01:38:26,960 --> 01:38:28,713 Okay. 2263 01:38:29,560 --> 01:38:31,950 Okay. You need any help working your way out of here? 2264 01:38:32,120 --> 01:38:34,316 Please, Josh. I was born in a U-Haul. 2265 01:38:42,320 --> 01:38:43,390 Hey, Carol! 2266 01:38:43,960 --> 01:38:46,395 - Are you Carol? - What? Uh, no. 2267 01:38:46,840 --> 01:38:48,832 Are you sure? You look like a Carol. 2268 01:38:50,560 --> 01:38:52,836 Can you not hear me? Carol! 2269 01:38:53,760 --> 01:38:54,955 Carol! 2270 01:38:55,720 --> 01:38:56,756 Ugh. 2271 01:38:58,960 --> 01:39:00,314 Cancelled? 2272 01:39:00,760 --> 01:39:02,831 Bunch of bitches! 2273 01:39:03,160 --> 01:39:05,959 You know red lights are just suggestions. 2274 01:39:05,960 --> 01:39:07,952 Are you smoking a marijuana cigarette right now? 2275 01:39:10,360 --> 01:39:12,955 Yeah! See, we made it through. Let's do another. 2276 01:39:29,960 --> 01:39:31,519 Oh, not again. 2277 01:39:34,600 --> 01:39:35,636 Let me do it again. 2278 01:39:35,760 --> 01:39:36,910 Let me just do it again. I can do it. 2279 01:39:37,160 --> 01:39:39,152 Oh, damn it. 2280 01:39:41,080 --> 01:39:42,594 Shit, shit! 2281 01:39:45,280 --> 01:39:46,714 If you want to make it in this world, 2282 01:39:46,800 --> 01:39:47,916 Iearn to lie better. 2283 01:39:48,560 --> 01:39:50,074 Your mother's never coming back. 2284 01:39:50,280 --> 01:39:51,919 Merry Christmas! 2285 01:39:55,800 --> 01:39:56,950 Okay, I'm gonna suck my dick. 2286 01:39:56,960 --> 01:39:58,360 She's gonna suck on this one, guys. 2287 01:39:58,600 --> 01:40:00,910 Guys, can we go back to one for sucking my dick? 2288 01:40:05,360 --> 01:40:06,953 I like it 'cause it looks like he's trying 2289 01:40:07,000 --> 01:40:08,593 just a little too hard. 2290 01:40:08,720 --> 01:40:09,790 The artist? 2291 01:40:09,920 --> 01:40:11,593 I hadn't thought about the artist. 2292 01:40:11,800 --> 01:40:14,110 Was this not where you had the key 2293 01:40:14,200 --> 01:40:16,157 to the city of Margaritaville? 2294 01:40:16,280 --> 01:40:19,512 I did it. I got rid of it. 2295 01:40:23,760 --> 01:40:24,955 Canadian cinema 2296 01:40:24,960 --> 01:40:26,952 with a concentration in French-Canadian cinema. 2297 01:40:27,080 --> 01:40:29,914 Canadian music with a concentration in Rush. 2298 01:40:29,960 --> 01:40:32,156 Canadian linguistics. Eh? 2299 01:40:45,800 --> 01:40:48,360 He used all of his inheritance... 2300 01:40:48,800 --> 01:40:50,951 He used all of his inher... 2301 01:40:51,840 --> 01:40:53,957 He used all of his inheritance. 2302 01:40:53,960 --> 01:40:55,360 It's a hard word to say. 2303 01:40:55,800 --> 01:40:59,953 To keep this branch afloat with his in-her-i-tance. 2304 01:41:08,760 --> 01:41:12,356 "Hi, I'm Carol. I have the shingles again." 2305 01:41:12,600 --> 01:41:14,956 "I'm Carol. Has anyone seen my TV Guide?" 2306 01:41:15,280 --> 01:41:17,795 "I'm Carol. Change frightens me." 2307 01:41:17,960 --> 01:41:19,952 "We have to put Carol down. She's old." 2308 01:41:28,960 --> 01:41:31,953 Andrew from the copy room told me that he had mono. 2309 01:41:32,320 --> 01:41:33,959 I said I wanted to get mono 2310 01:41:33,960 --> 01:41:36,350 because I wanted to take a month off from work. 2311 01:41:36,760 --> 01:41:38,592 And I kissed him deeply. 2312 01:41:39,760 --> 01:41:41,592 And I didn't get mono! 2313 01:41:43,840 --> 01:41:45,354 Okay, let's reset. 2313 01:41:46,305 --> 01:41:52,787 -= www.OpenSubtitles.org =- 167671

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