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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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"Abby's" is filmed in front
of a live, outdoor audience.
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00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:09,790
- Three bucks.
- Hold on.
4
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I got a proposition for you.
5
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Fine. Quickly.
6
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I am here on this stool
every night for five hours.
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I haven't missed a day in three years.
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Yes, you're the Cal Ripken
of low-grade alcoholism.
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Thank you.
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I believe my being on this stool
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creates a festive drinking atmosphere,
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and I should be compensated for that.
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With free drinks.
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What you got there, Beth?
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Dartboard.
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I bought it for my boys,
but, uh, five minutes in,
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they were just throwing darts
at each other's faces,
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laughing and screaming,
blood everywhere.
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I think they might be
legitimate psychos.
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And I might be a terrible mom.
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Oh, well.
22
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Abby, can we keep it?
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I'm not sure how the scoring works,
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but I'm willing to waste a
lot of time on the Internet
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00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,300
trying to figure it out.
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I mean, I got a dentist
appointment tomorrow,
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but other than that,
I ain't got nothing...
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00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,940
for months.
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I wanna hear pros and cons. Go.
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Pros: it... it's darts.
It's fun. Case closed.
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- Yeah.
- Uh, con:
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drunk people throwing pointy things.
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- Big con.
- Yeah.
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Pro: you don't have to be
athletic to be good at it,
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and I'm saying that
because I'm not athletic.
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I'm big, so people assume I am,
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and then they get me on the field,
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and they be like, "Nah."
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Con: darts feels kind of British.
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- Ew.
- Hold on, though.
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Is darts British?
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Are you fact-checking me, Fred?
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No, I'm just... I... I'm not
sure that darts is British.
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Well, I mean, you're
either fact-checking me,
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or you're just, uh...
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talking.
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Come on, Fred, do it. Don't
let her psych you out.
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- [EXHALES]
- Yeah, Fred, go for it.
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- It's fine. Do it.
- Don't. Don't do it.
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- Fine. Challenge!
- [BELL DINGS]
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- Ha!
- Ha! You idiot.
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To the books.
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You feeling confident?
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Yes.
55
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Okay, here we go.
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"Darts: created in 1896
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by a Lancashire carpenter."
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[IN BRITISH ACCENT] And
where is Lancashire, James?
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[SIGHS]
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Lancashire... uh...
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00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:17,100
No, James. That was rhetorical.
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Lancashire is obviously in England.
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It's a very English word. I'm right.
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In accordance with rule number seven,
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the punishment for losing a challenge,
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I present you with one sugary,
disgusting, lime-flavored
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not-beer. Enjoy.
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Ugh. The smell.
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Why do people do this to alcohol?
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[MELLOW ROCK MUSIC]
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♪ ♪
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[EXCITED CHATTER]
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Abby, wait.
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Can we keep the dartboard?
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I'm okay with it as long as
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00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:53,900
you figure out a good place to put it.
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00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:56,800
- How about the back fence?
- No, that's too low.
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00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:58,100
You need something eye level.
79
00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,440
What if we asked Skip to move?
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I'm not asking Skip to do anything.
81
00:03:03,380 --> 00:03:05,390
He might yell.
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And I don't like confrontation.
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You're the bouncer.
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I know. It's messed up.
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[CLEARS THROAT] Excuse me.
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Where can I find Abby?
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- Ooh.
- Well.
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[LAUGHS] Buddy, you don't
just waltz in here
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and ask for Abby.
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Drinking here is a coveted honor.
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You have to work your way up the ladder.
92
00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:26,700
Yeah, there's a vetting
process for new people.
93
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,840
First three weeks, you're
on the back benches.
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You keep your voice down.
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You drink what Abby tells you.
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- Actually, I...
- Too loud.
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Half that. Eyes down.
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And after three weeks, if you're chill,
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you move on to the
random chairs section.
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00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:44,530
Yeah, you stick it out at the chairs
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00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:46,400
- for three to six months...
- Mm.
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You're a full-fledged member.
You can sit at the bar.
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00:03:49,070 --> 00:03:50,220
It's a bit of a process,
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but once you're in, you're family.
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You never drink alone again.
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What the hell are you talking about?
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You... what is this? Who
are all these people here?
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This is Abby's. This is where we go
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to drink and hang out,
'cause we like it.
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- Who are you?
- Bill. I'm Abby's landlord.
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What? No, you're not.
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My landlord is an old lady.
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James, kick him out.
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No, this is not my new sweater.
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This is my... it's my first
time wearing it here.
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Yeah, so, your former landlord, Alice,
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passed away. She left me this house.
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I'm her nephew, Bill.
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Is this a bar in my aunt's backyard?
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What?
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No, no. These are all just...
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my friends.
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- Yep.
- Yeah.
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Just people who happen
to know each other.
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- Emergency contacts.
- Yeah.
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00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:44,380
We just, like, hang out like this,
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- all together in a group.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,440
With a cash register.
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00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,900
I collect old cash registers,
as do many other people.
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- What people?
- People that...
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I shouldn't have jumped in.
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- Could I get a beer, please?
- Sure, man.
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Here you go.
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Okay, it's three bucks, right?
135
00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:05,380
Whoa. Whoa, there, friend.
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00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:06,960
Why are you giving me money?
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Mi casa es su casa.
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[CHUCKLES] Weird move...
giving her money for a beer
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in a social, non-business situation?
140
00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:18,260
Who does that?
141
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Just drink the beer, man.
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No, this is a bar... on my property.
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I mean, this is super illegal.
144
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You gotta shut this down right now.
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Look, you weren't
expecting this. I get it.
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00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:36,610
But before you rush to judgment,
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let me at least show you around.
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I mean, it's... it's really great.
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It's not scary at all.
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"Show me around"?
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00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,060
I mean, this is a small rectangle,
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and I'm very tall. I can see everything.
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- The chairs, the...
- Just bear with me?
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Okay.
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00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:52,230
Um, all right.
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00:05:52,260 --> 00:05:54,260
Over here. When I first moved in,
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there was this creepy
fountain thing over here,
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so I junked it, and I brought
in this cool vintage jukebox.
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00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,050
You know, my uncle carved that fountain
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out of a single piece of stone.
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[CLICKS TONGUE]
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00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,819
It was there to commemorate
a World War II battle
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00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:09,160
where he lost his best friend.
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- And now it's a jukebox.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
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What kind of music do you like?
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I like jazz, actually.
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[GLASS THUDS]
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You, uh, not a fan?
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00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:22,590
Not a fan of jazz, Bill.
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00:06:22,630 --> 00:06:25,199
Okay, but hold on a second.
What about saxophones?
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00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,960
I mean, saxophones are cool.
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Yeah, so cool. Um...
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I like how they curve.
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And how people close their eyes
when they play them, I guess.
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00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:43,080
Let's move on. Look.
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00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,210
Neighborhood people, just hanging out,
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00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,980
having a good time.
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Before I opened this place,
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00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:49,950
there was nowhere for us to go.
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00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:51,850
We were all just scattered to the wind.
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Mm.
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Homeless.
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00:06:54,850 --> 00:06:56,850
This is more than just a bar, Bill.
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It's... it's a community center.
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00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,959
Huh. That is very moving.
186
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,500
Uh, I was told that you
force people to sit here
187
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,799
until you decide you
don't hate them anymore.
188
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,070
No, people choose to sit here
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00:07:11,110 --> 00:07:12,169
until we figure out
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00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,310
how to incorporate them
into the community.
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00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:15,840
Mm-hmm.
192
00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,750
- Uh, hi there, friend.
- Hmm?
193
00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:19,920
Uh, my name's Bill. This is my property.
194
00:07:19,950 --> 00:07:21,980
I just wanted to come over
here and give you permission
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00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:25,540
to sit or stand anywhere you want.
196
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,330
Nah. I'm fine.
197
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,120
Okay, this is insane.
She's not an emperor.
198
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,560
I don't think this is working.
199
00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:39,900
He's a jazz fan, Beth. How
am I supposed to convince
200
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,400
a jazz fan of anything?
His brain is warped.
201
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,600
Okay, here is what's gonna happen.
202
00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:47,320
I'm gonna turn on the charm,
203
00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:49,140
make him feel like he's
part of the group...
204
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:50,579
make him feel invested, you know?
205
00:07:50,580 --> 00:07:52,019
Yeah. Yeah, that could
work. Get in there.
206
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:53,100
Do your thing, man.
207
00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:54,419
Hey, Bill! Buy you a beer?
208
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:55,660
No, thanks. I'm fine.
209
00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:59,240
Well, that was my big gun.
210
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,160
We're screwed.
211
00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,200
♪ ♪
212
00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:06,420
[MELLOW ROCK MUSIC]
213
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,100
God, I hate broken sprinklers.
214
00:08:10,670 --> 00:08:12,800
Hey there, Bill. Um...
215
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,320
I didn't have a chance to tell you
216
00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:16,040
how sorry I am about your aunt.
217
00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,120
She was a... a very special lady.
218
00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:20,300
Really? How well did you know her?
219
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,050
- Oh, so well.
- Mm-hmm.
220
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,439
Yeah, um...
221
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,840
I mean, I... I'll never
forget her address.
222
00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:30,660
It was, uh, 111 Civic Center Drive,
223
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:35,960
Suite 303, San Diego, California...
224
00:08:35,990 --> 00:08:37,640
"Attention: Greg."
225
00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:40,320
That's her accountant's office.
226
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:41,900
That's where you sent your rent checks.
227
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,819
Did you think she lived
at the civic center?
228
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:46,500
Come on, man.
229
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,110
This bar is my livelihood, okay?
230
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,240
It's taken me years to
build it up from nothing,
231
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,010
and I finally have it
exactly the way I want it.
232
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:56,950
Nobody is bleeding. Nothing is on fire.
233
00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,520
- What is your problem?
- What's my problem?
234
00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:01,479
Do you understand that I am responsible
235
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,040
for all of this in the eyes of the law?
236
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,460
"The eyes of the law"?
237
00:09:04,470 --> 00:09:06,780
I regretted saying that immediately.
238
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,550
Seriously, man, you walk
in here with your...
239
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,160
with your pants and your orange shirt
240
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,860
and your little cell-phone purse.
241
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,220
Well, I...
242
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,200
And you just start harassing me?
243
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:18,670
Okay, I'm not harassing you, okay?
244
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,340
I just can't deal with this right now.
245
00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:21,379
The last year of my life
246
00:09:21,380 --> 00:09:23,340
has just been total chaos, you know?
247
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:26,340
I... I changed jobs, my marriage...
248
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:28,560
my marriage ended. I... I just...
249
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,080
what I'm looking for
is a little stability,
250
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:31,980
and you serving mai tais on my property
251
00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:33,240
is not stable.
252
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:34,740
Uh...
253
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,160
Abby would never serve anyone a mai tai.
254
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:40,640
She hates them.
255
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:43,000
Just throwing that out
there in case it helps.
256
00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:44,920
Thanks. That does not help at all.
257
00:09:46,260 --> 00:09:48,670
Abby, I don't wanna argue
about this anymore, okay?
258
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,719
So I'm just gonna... I'm
gonna document everything,
259
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,600
and then I'm gonna get
out of here, okay?
260
00:09:54,000 --> 00:10:00,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
261
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,380
Why'd you do that?
262
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:07,740
Why would anyone do that?
263
00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:11,660
I'll go get your phone.
264
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:17,880
♪ ♪
265
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:21,340
Hey, so I know you
technically own all of this,
266
00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:23,980
- but that's my stool.
- Oh.
267
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,280
Sorry.
268
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:28,600
No, no, come back. Hang out.
269
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:30,910
- Okay.
- Just scooch over a little.
270
00:10:33,260 --> 00:10:36,750
I like to sit over here because
I can see my kids' windows.
271
00:10:36,780 --> 00:10:37,940
Oh, that's convenient.
272
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,480
Yeah, it's a good mom hack.
273
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:44,350
I get to unwind, but if I hear screaming
274
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:48,199
or smell something burning,
in a flash, I can...
275
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,190
finish my drink and get home.
276
00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:54,120
So are you guys, like, regulars here?
277
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,200
Yep. I'm Fred.
278
00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:57,940
I've known Abby since she was a kid.
279
00:10:57,970 --> 00:10:59,300
I used to work with her dad.
280
00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:00,700
I was one of her first customers.
281
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:02,840
Right, so how did all this happen?
282
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,210
She was in the marines. Afghanistan.
283
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,620
Two tours.
284
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,710
After she got out, she
did some waitress jobs,
285
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,399
but she didn't like people
telling her what to do,
286
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:12,740
so she started this.
287
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,120
She knows bars. She grew up in bars.
288
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:17,740
Her dad's a degenerate alcoholic.
289
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,820
Mm.
290
00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:20,220
He's sexy, though.
291
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:24,080
He's a borderline criminal.
292
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,420
But charming, like a suave cat burglar.
293
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,740
Don't loan him your bike, though.
294
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:33,860
No matter how many times he asks.
295
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:37,580
Okay, I won't loan Abby's dad my bike.
296
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,080
Look, I know Abby seems kind of gruff,
297
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,850
but she's thoughtful too.
298
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,020
When I was in bed with the flu,
299
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,540
she took my boys to see a movie.
300
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:48,000
It was one of those "Saw" movies.
301
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,600
Actually messed them up pretty good.
302
00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:55,360
They're, uh, different now...
303
00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:58,680
but still, so sweet of her.
304
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,600
She kicked my phone.
305
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:02,620
Phones are against the rules.
306
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,370
- "The rules"?
- Here.
307
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,899
- Oh.
- The bar has 162 rules
308
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:07,940
and regulations.
309
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:09,299
I memorized them.
310
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:11,640
I'm sort of like the bar expert.
311
00:12:11,770 --> 00:12:13,460
Maybe don't tell Abby
I said that, though.
312
00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:17,110
Wow, this is extensive.
313
00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:19,260
"All tacos are group tacos."
314
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,400
Hey, hey! That was mine!
I suggested that one.
315
00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:24,799
You know, I do see the appeal
316
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,060
in having somewhere to go every night.
317
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:27,860
You know, my ex-wife,
she sort of claimed
318
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,560
all our favorite restaurants
as "her territory."
319
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,580
Lot of our friends, also.
320
00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:36,830
And the fish.
321
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:38,490
We used to have a fish,
and now it's her fish.
322
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,219
She took everything, is what
I'm trying to say here.
323
00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:42,020
- She had to be a Capricorn.
- Yikes.
324
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,300
- She sounds great.
- Hmm.
325
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:48,820
You know what? You need a glass.
326
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:50,260
- Oh!
- Excuse me?
327
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,560
Yeah, if you have a seat at the bar,
328
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:54,020
you get your own glass, like mine.
329
00:12:54,050 --> 00:12:56,150
It says "Fastline Systems"
and there's a picture
330
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,180
of a computer driving a race car.
331
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,599
[SNICKERS]
332
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,919
Yeah, what... what's Fastline Systems?
333
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:02,930
I don't know.
334
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:06,030
- [CHUCKLES]
- Hey, now.
335
00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:08,340
- Ooh.
- Wow, a Viking helmet, huh?
336
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,660
I go with my gut...
337
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,320
and my gut says "Viking helmet."
338
00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:19,820
♪ ♪
339
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:21,380
[LAUGHTER]
340
00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:23,110
I know your name is Bill,
341
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,880
but when you're holding that mug,
342
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,940
I'm gonna call you Sven.
343
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,890
Hmm. [CHUCKLES]
344
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,380
- [GROUP CHEERS]
- To Sven!
345
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,060
Here you go. Sorry about that.
346
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,679
You know, I was about to
reflexively say "It's fine,"
347
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,020
but I'm not gonna do
that because that was
348
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,380
a very weird thing for you to do.
349
00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:43,430
All right, man, you... you
got me backed into a corner.
350
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:46,760
You wanna see me beg? I'll beg.
351
00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:49,280
Let me keep the bar open.
352
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,819
Oh, that's it?
353
00:13:51,820 --> 00:13:54,800
Yeah. I was practically on my knees.
354
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,679
Okay, there might be a
way to make this work.
355
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:58,920
I'm an engineer, so I believe
356
00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:00,150
there's a way to make everything work.
357
00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:03,180
Ugh. Easy with the
engineer brags, buddy.
358
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,320
Well, even if I were to consider it,
359
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:06,900
you would have to make some changes.
360
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,120
- What kind of changes?
- Just some basic stuff.
361
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,499
You know, get a liquor license,
362
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,959
uh, have an emergency plan,
363
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,660
and... and just get some
business insurance, okay?
364
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,500
- Insurance for what?
- Oh, I don't know, uh...
365
00:14:16,530 --> 00:14:18,240
okay, how about the guy playing boccie
366
00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:19,720
with a dart sticking out of his leg?
367
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,110
Relax. It's in meat, not bone.
368
00:14:22,140 --> 00:14:23,470
[SHOUTS]
369
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,960
- Oh!
- Oh!
370
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,150
[GASPS, SCREAMS]
371
00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:32,139
[PANTING]
372
00:14:32,140 --> 00:14:35,350
Yeah, I'm gonna have to
insist on the insurance.
373
00:14:35,390 --> 00:14:37,420
Also, you gotta lose
the grill, obviously.
374
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,119
I can't just "lose the grill."
375
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,800
It's one of the best
things about the bar.
376
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:43,360
People stand around it.
They cook, they interact...
377
00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:45,160
- They catch on fire.
- Sometimes,
378
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,400
but they're always fine.
379
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,879
I'm not gonna let you ruin the bar.
380
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,899
Whoa, "ruin the bar"?
It's just a couple of
381
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,270
- suggestions, and I think that...
- It's a slippery slope, okay?
382
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:55,470
I love this place too
much to watch it morph
383
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,340
into some cookie-cutter
chain restaurant.
384
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,510
I'd rather shut it down,
so drink up, everybody!
385
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:02,840
Last night at Abby's!
386
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,480
If anyone needs me, I'll be in my house
387
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,680
getting drunk, where you can't go,
388
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,960
so I hope you don't need me.
389
00:15:08,550 --> 00:15:11,019
Also, when I was next door,
I found your phone, Skip.
390
00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:12,700
I think it's been back there
for, like, three years.
391
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:13,940
Do you want it?
392
00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:18,660
Right answer. Skip gets me!
393
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:22,470
♪ ♪
394
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:27,380
♪ ♪
395
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:29,100
It's such a bummer.
396
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,560
This could've been the night
we got the dartboard.
397
00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:36,460
Not anymore. Not anymore.
398
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,280
All right, we just have
to go inside and...
399
00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:41,540
"Go inside"? The house?
400
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:43,140
That's literally rule number two.
401
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,580
Number one is "no visors,"
402
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,660
and number two is "no one
goes inside the house."
403
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:50,480
If we don't do something,
404
00:15:50,490 --> 00:15:52,890
Abby's pride is gonna
get the bar shut down,
405
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,190
and then where will we be?
406
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:56,780
At home!
407
00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:59,100
All right.
408
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,360
James?
409
00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:03,150
Make sure Mr. Fancy
Engineer doesn't leave.
410
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:06,120
[LAUGHING] Yeah, such an
intense brag out of nowhere.
411
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,179
I know.
412
00:16:07,180 --> 00:16:09,240
"I'm an engineer. I love math."
413
00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:11,670
[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]
414
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,419
Hey, I know we're not supposed to, uh...
415
00:16:15,420 --> 00:16:18,250
It's fine. Make yourselves at home.
416
00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:20,549
So this is your kitchen.
417
00:16:20,550 --> 00:16:21,660
Wow.
418
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:23,219
Cool, uh, elephant magnet.
419
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:24,220
Don't look at my stuff.
420
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:26,260
Okay. Cool, cool.
421
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,720
So, how're you doing?
422
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,080
[SIGHS]
423
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,290
It hasn't sunk in yet.
424
00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:35,470
I guess I'll have to get
another job at a sports bar
425
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:36,899
where the guys wear their sunglasses
426
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:38,430
on the back of their...
427
00:16:38,470 --> 00:16:39,540
necks.
428
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,970
Abby, we can't let you do this.
429
00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:44,870
Oh, don't worry about me.
430
00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:46,940
I'm not. I'm worried about me.
431
00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,500
I need this bar.
432
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,020
I budgeted out my savings
for the next 25 years.
433
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,110
If I gotta pay more than
three bucks a beer,
434
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,080
I'm gonna go broke by the time I'm 70.
435
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,520
Abs, I need the bar too.
436
00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:59,160
If this thing goes away,
437
00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:01,460
then I have to spend more
time with my family,
438
00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:06,110
and I love them dearly,
but that's a nonstarter.
439
00:17:06,130 --> 00:17:08,500
My kids are obsessed with me.
440
00:17:08,530 --> 00:17:12,380
They want me to hug them
and make them food.
441
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:17,320
I'm sorry guys, but I... I just can't.
442
00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:19,340
Okay?
443
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:21,940
Now leave me alone so I can black out
444
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,480
and forget this is happening.
445
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,080
Last thing I'll say:
446
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,050
Bill is out there right now
447
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:33,440
trying to figure out where
to hang the dartboard.
448
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,990
- So?
- So he's invested.
449
00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:39,180
He's one of us.
450
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,560
He might not know it yet, but I do.
451
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,479
It just makes me feel like
I'm a kid again, you know?
452
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,679
When my dad would just
show up out of nowhere
453
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:48,860
and mess everything up?
454
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,799
And I get that, I... I really do,
455
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,900
but I think we can trust this
guy not to ruin the joint.
456
00:17:54,940 --> 00:17:56,680
Besides, I am right in the middle
457
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,910
of a game of dominoes with James.
458
00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:00,680
If you close down, what are we gonna do?
459
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,119
You know how hard it is to
move a game of dominoes?
460
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,980
It's impossible, Sarge.
The tiles go everywhere.
461
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,280
Thanks for the talk.
462
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:09,700
Any time.
463
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:13,819
Also, please stop calling me "Sarge."
464
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:16,060
Ah, respectfully, I'm
gonna keep on doing that
465
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,300
'cause it's fun.
466
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,980
♪ ♪
467
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:21,520
[DOOR CLICKS SHUT]
468
00:18:22,260 --> 00:18:24,630
I guess the front of the bar is out
469
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,740
because of people's faces
and eyes and stuff.
470
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,000
Yeah, that stuff is important.
471
00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:34,300
Skip seems to have his area
pretty well locked down, here.
472
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:38,240
Don't look right at him!
473
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,740
Okay.
474
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:46,660
I'm willing to try some of your changes.
475
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,070
What do you mean "some"?
476
00:18:48,090 --> 00:18:50,660
I will work on the insurance thing.
477
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:53,470
Oh, I have a friend in
the insurance game.
478
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,840
Tons of ways to cheat the system.
479
00:18:56,870 --> 00:19:00,110
But, you know, still be legal.
480
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,480
[QUIETLY] But sneaky.
481
00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:03,980
Okay, and the emergency plan?
482
00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:05,900
We're outside.
483
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,240
The emergency plan is "remain outside."
484
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,720
Okay. What about the grill?
485
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:13,040
As I've said,
486
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:15,579
the grill is where people gather.
487
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:17,200
The grill is important.
488
00:19:17,260 --> 00:19:19,030
- Then we don't have a deal.
- Damn it, Bill.
489
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:21,180
You can't move a game of dominoes!
490
00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:23,340
What?
491
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,770
The dominoes. If you move them mid-game,
492
00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:29,170
then everything gets all
scrambled and ruined
493
00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:31,440
and you lose all the tiles.
494
00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:34,680
[SIGHS] I need the people at this bar.
495
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:36,719
And they need the bar the way it is.
496
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,760
If they go away,
497
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,660
I lose them.
498
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,790
Please, man.
499
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:46,120
[VOICE BREAKING] Abby...
500
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,240
that was so beautiful.
501
00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:51,230
Okay, we'll make it work.
502
00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:52,660
But I do have one more condition.
503
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,200
What?
504
00:19:54,220 --> 00:19:55,660
If we're gonna do this,
505
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:58,000
I need to know that it's gonna
be a partnership, okay?
506
00:19:58,020 --> 00:20:01,380
I'm risking a lot here, so I
need you to meet me halfway.
507
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,879
And that's why I need you to make me...
508
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,140
a mai tai.
509
00:20:08,350 --> 00:20:14,350
♪ ♪
510
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,600
20 bucks says she bails.
511
00:20:19,590 --> 00:20:21,319
- You're on.
- Guys.
512
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,830
Oh. Hey, you can do this.
513
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,320
We believe in you.
514
00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:32,080
Actually, I... I like
extra cherries on mine.
515
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,420
Oh.
516
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,880
[CLICKS TONGUE, INHALES]
Well, you can toss this.
517
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,120
I don't like mai tais.
518
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,699
What?
519
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:52,220
I...
520
00:20:52,260 --> 00:20:53,449
I just wanted to see if you would do it.
521
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:54,920
I mean, I'm actually very surprised.
522
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,850
Just to compromise all
your integrity like that
523
00:20:56,860 --> 00:20:58,660
is super humbling.
524
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,969
- Well played.
- [EXHALES NOISILY]
525
00:21:04,970 --> 00:21:06,640
[CHUCKLES] Thank God.
526
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:10,220
I was so scared just then.
527
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,079
I... I need this drink.
528
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:17,239
♪ ♪
529
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:22,240
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
529
00:21:23,305 --> 00:21:29,199
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