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1
00:00:00,073 --> 00:00:04,192
Attention Cloud 9
shoppers and employees.
2
00:00:04,193 --> 00:00:06,695
I, uh... I just wanted
to take this moment
3
00:00:06,697 --> 00:00:08,529
to, uh...
4
00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:13,763
Uh, to... to say goodbye.
5
00:00:14,772 --> 00:00:17,231
This is my last day as manager here.
6
00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:20,760
I am stepping down to spend
more time with my family.
7
00:00:21,245 --> 00:00:22,477
Pretty emotional for a guy
8
00:00:22,478 --> 00:00:24,646
who only demoted himself
to floor worker.
9
00:00:24,647 --> 00:00:26,347
Yeah, you'd think
he'd mention that part.
10
00:00:26,350 --> 00:00:27,527
No, he's getting to it.
11
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,751
He's been doing the
same speech every hour.
12
00:00:29,753 --> 00:00:32,119
He wants to cover
as many customers as possible.
13
00:00:32,121 --> 00:00:33,521
I've heard it five times.
14
00:00:33,524 --> 00:00:34,622
He's getting really good at it.
15
00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:36,692
My second family.
16
00:00:36,694 --> 00:00:39,543
While you've been helping
people find light bulbs
17
00:00:39,545 --> 00:00:41,043
and paper towels,
18
00:00:41,664 --> 00:00:45,094
you've also been
helping me find myself.
19
00:00:45,734 --> 00:00:46,659
[upbeat music]
20
00:00:46,682 --> 00:00:49,375
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
21
00:00:50,606 --> 00:00:52,640
And guys, I say this a lot,
22
00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:55,490
but we really need to wet down
those raccoon droppings
23
00:00:55,518 --> 00:00:56,813
before we sweep.
24
00:00:56,814 --> 00:00:58,101
Dry sweeping is the reason
25
00:00:58,103 --> 00:01:00,390
why those roundworm eggs go airborne.
26
00:01:01,563 --> 00:01:04,051
God, I just realized
this is the last time
27
00:01:04,054 --> 00:01:06,954
I'm going to tell you guys
to spray your droppings.
28
00:01:06,956 --> 00:01:08,423
- Aww.
- And I finally get to stop
29
00:01:08,424 --> 00:01:10,492
sucking up to this guy. Right?
30
00:01:10,493 --> 00:01:11,575
That's what you've been doing?
31
00:01:11,578 --> 00:01:12,444
- Yeah.
- So now
32
00:01:12,445 --> 00:01:14,396
that you're becoming a floor worker,
33
00:01:14,397 --> 00:01:15,397
what do we call you?
34
00:01:15,399 --> 00:01:16,397
Glenn's fine.
35
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,498
- Glenn?
- Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:17,501 --> 00:01:18,382
Feels weird.
37
00:01:18,385 --> 00:01:20,367
Does this mean Dina's gonna be manager?
38
00:01:20,370 --> 00:01:21,603
No, thank you.
39
00:01:21,605 --> 00:01:23,112
Though I will outrank Glenn,
40
00:01:23,114 --> 00:01:25,539
who will be right below Marcus
and just above Jonah.
41
00:01:25,542 --> 00:01:27,058
You rank us?
42
00:01:27,061 --> 00:01:28,253
And I'm below Marcus?
43
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,045
That's crazy. I'm the worst.
44
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:31,346
It's that kind of self-awareness
45
00:01:31,347 --> 00:01:32,576
that keeps you a notch above Jonah.
46
00:01:32,578 --> 00:01:35,516
- So who's taking over?
- Well, I'm hoping it's Amy.
47
00:01:35,519 --> 00:01:36,984
[all gasping]
48
00:01:36,986 --> 00:01:38,486
- What?
- Cool!
49
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,603
I mean, I doubt it.
50
00:01:39,604 --> 00:01:41,423
I have to get Laurie to interview me,
51
00:01:41,424 --> 00:01:42,581
and she hates me.
52
00:01:42,581 --> 00:01:44,158
Oh, I'm sure she doesn't hate you.
53
00:01:44,161 --> 00:01:46,360
Eh, she's made some comments.
54
00:01:47,364 --> 00:01:50,331
[Hootie & the Blowfish's "Only
Wanna Be With You" plays]
55
00:01:50,334 --> 00:01:54,368
♪ Well, there's nothing I can do ♪
56
00:01:54,371 --> 00:01:56,121
♪ I only want to be with you ♪
57
00:01:56,122 --> 00:01:57,972
[clanging]
58
00:01:57,974 --> 00:01:59,570
Oh, here he does. Here he goes.
59
00:01:59,572 --> 00:02:01,287
Okay, chowder's headed down south.
60
00:02:02,012 --> 00:02:04,379
- Oh, my God!
- Eww!
61
00:02:04,381 --> 00:02:06,248
[both chuckling]
62
00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:08,115
[man yelling in pain]
63
00:02:08,117 --> 00:02:10,852
- Oh, God! I hate this!
- Excuse me.
64
00:02:10,853 --> 00:02:12,120
One second. It's almost done.
65
00:02:12,122 --> 00:02:13,722
Oh, I think it's done now.
66
00:02:13,723 --> 00:02:15,356
Oh, hey. Hi, Laurie.
67
00:02:15,359 --> 00:02:16,925
It's, uh... uh, been a minute.
68
00:02:16,926 --> 00:02:19,995
Um, is your hair the same?
69
00:02:19,997 --> 00:02:20,669
Yes.
70
00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:22,897
Sorry, we were just watching HotNuts.
71
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:24,288
What's HotNuts?
72
00:02:24,289 --> 00:02:27,201
YouTube guy pours
hot liquids on his genitals.
73
00:02:27,204 --> 00:02:28,469
Beverages, soups.
74
00:02:28,472 --> 00:02:29,891
Hmm, sounds brilliant.
75
00:02:29,893 --> 00:02:32,106
So where should our phones be
during work hours?
76
00:02:32,109 --> 00:02:35,143
- Um, in our pockets.
- In your lockers.
77
00:02:35,145 --> 00:02:37,211
In our lockers, right. Yeah.
78
00:02:38,932 --> 00:02:41,316
So why don't you go do that now, okay?
79
00:02:41,735 --> 00:02:43,418
Nice to see you guys.
80
00:02:44,086 --> 00:02:45,236
Man, I really wanted to show you
81
00:02:45,239 --> 00:02:46,987
the Thanksgiving one he did.
82
00:02:46,989 --> 00:02:49,140
Ah, does he pour hot
gravy down his pants?
83
00:02:49,143 --> 00:02:50,724
Yeah, but he does it with his dad.
84
00:02:50,727 --> 00:02:52,060
It's really nice.
85
00:02:54,631 --> 00:02:57,699
Gosh, you know, everything
in here has a story,
86
00:02:57,700 --> 00:02:59,921
like this hole punch.
87
00:02:59,923 --> 00:03:02,537
Okay, it's only supposed
to be able to do 18 pages,
88
00:03:02,538 --> 00:03:05,206
but one day, I got it to do 25.
89
00:03:05,209 --> 00:03:06,824
I went straight home
90
00:03:06,826 --> 00:03:08,710
and made love to Jerusha that day.
91
00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:10,228
Well, that's a story I'll remember.
92
00:03:10,229 --> 00:03:12,437
Oh yeah. You like it?
93
00:03:13,015 --> 00:03:14,132
You should have it.
94
00:03:14,134 --> 00:03:15,616
Oh, uh, no, I... I...
95
00:03:15,618 --> 00:03:17,786
Oh no, come on, please.
You love it. Take it.
96
00:03:17,788 --> 00:03:19,653
Um, if he gets a hole punch,
97
00:03:19,656 --> 00:03:21,223
can I get this bag full of cash?
98
00:03:21,224 --> 00:03:23,658
- Whoa!
- Oh, that's my rainy day fund.
99
00:03:23,659 --> 00:03:25,888
Corporate sets aside
a certain amount of the budget
100
00:03:25,889 --> 00:03:27,156
for miscellaneous maintenance,
101
00:03:27,157 --> 00:03:28,413
so whenever we don't use it,
102
00:03:28,414 --> 00:03:30,352
I just take out in cash
and set it aside.
103
00:03:30,353 --> 00:03:31,633
You know, just in case.
104
00:03:31,634 --> 00:03:33,847
But they think you spent
this on maintenance.
105
00:03:33,848 --> 00:03:36,670
Yeah, and I would have
if I needed to, but I didn't.
106
00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:38,573
So just leave it there
for the next manager.
107
00:03:38,574 --> 00:03:40,775
Wait, so... so you told them
108
00:03:40,776 --> 00:03:42,110
you spent money you didn't spend.
109
00:03:42,111 --> 00:03:43,412
- Mm-hmm.
- Then you...
110
00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:45,112
took the money and kept it in a bag
111
00:03:45,115 --> 00:03:46,680
hidden in your office.
112
00:03:46,682 --> 00:03:50,001
- Yeah.
- Isn't that embezzlement?
113
00:03:50,002 --> 00:03:52,987
[scoffs] No, embezzlement
is when you put jewels
114
00:03:52,990 --> 00:03:54,210
on your jacket.
115
00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:55,824
I think you mean bedazzling.
116
00:03:55,825 --> 00:03:57,216
Which is also a crime.
117
00:03:58,694 --> 00:04:01,128
[middle of the road music]
118
00:04:01,131 --> 00:04:04,032
Oh, hey! Laurie! What's up, girl?
119
00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:06,055
It's been, like, forever.
120
00:04:06,056 --> 00:04:08,603
How's the district manager world?
121
00:04:08,604 --> 00:04:10,671
#DMLife, right?
122
00:04:10,674 --> 00:04:13,270
Uh, I'm still doing
some physical therapy
123
00:04:13,271 --> 00:04:15,373
from when you ran me over
with the golf cart.
124
00:04:15,746 --> 00:04:17,314
Yup, yeah.
125
00:04:17,747 --> 00:04:21,048
Um, well, anyway, since
Glenn is stepping down,
126
00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:23,918
I was wondering if, maybe,
I could interview for the job.
127
00:04:24,396 --> 00:04:25,569
You want to be manager?
128
00:04:25,572 --> 00:04:28,689
Yeah, um, well,
I've been here for 15 years,
129
00:04:28,692 --> 00:04:31,526
and I did really well
in the Cloud 9 Academy.
130
00:04:31,528 --> 00:04:33,045
Oh, wow. Okay.
131
00:04:33,047 --> 00:04:34,728
You did the one day,
uh, training session
132
00:04:34,730 --> 00:04:35,605
near the airport?
133
00:04:36,365 --> 00:04:38,199
I'm not sure what it
being near an airport
134
00:04:38,201 --> 00:04:39,042
has to do with anything.
135
00:04:39,043 --> 00:04:40,268
I'm sorry. I would really love
136
00:04:40,269 --> 00:04:42,235
to interview you, but I actually have
137
00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:43,838
another candidate in mind, so...
138
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,240
- Oh. Okay. Great.
- Yeah.
139
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:48,326
Well, um, if that guy falls through
140
00:04:48,327 --> 00:04:50,312
or, you know, if
anything else opens up,
141
00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:52,713
I... I would love to throw
my hat in the ring.
142
00:04:52,716 --> 00:04:53,807
Shwoop!
143
00:04:54,433 --> 00:04:56,300
Sorry, I just touched your boob.
144
00:04:56,302 --> 00:04:58,620
[sighs]
145
00:04:59,822 --> 00:05:01,523
[exasperated sigh]
146
00:05:01,524 --> 00:05:03,358
Hey guys, you won't be hearing from me
147
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,759
for the next five hours,
148
00:05:04,761 --> 00:05:06,661
but don't worry,
I haven't been kidnapped.
149
00:05:06,663 --> 00:05:08,562
I just can't use my phone.
150
00:05:08,564 --> 00:05:10,598
But if you don't hear
from me after that,
151
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,069
I probably have been kidnapped,
and it was probably my uncle.
152
00:05:14,071 --> 00:05:16,771
He's really nice,
but just statistically...
153
00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:19,139
Stay strong.
154
00:05:19,141 --> 00:05:20,507
You'll be out before you know it.
155
00:05:20,509 --> 00:05:23,244
[both sigh]
156
00:05:24,581 --> 00:05:26,564
Oh, shoot. I forgot my phone.
157
00:05:26,565 --> 00:05:27,814
Cheyenne.
158
00:05:29,485 --> 00:05:30,853
Oh, yeah.
159
00:05:32,355 --> 00:05:34,288
[sobbing]
160
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,191
Glenn, it's... it's going to be okay.
161
00:05:36,192 --> 00:05:38,276
Just... just breathe
and drink your juice.
162
00:05:39,528 --> 00:05:40,435
[coughing]
163
00:05:40,437 --> 00:05:42,617
Well, not at the same time, obviously.
164
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,082
Maybe they won't
even realize it's gone.
165
00:05:45,084 --> 00:05:47,435
They do an audit every time
there's a management change
166
00:05:47,437 --> 00:05:49,403
at the store. I think
they're going to notice
167
00:05:49,406 --> 00:05:51,639
$27,000 missing.
168
00:05:51,641 --> 00:05:52,639
You can't just return it?
169
00:05:52,641 --> 00:05:54,975
No, 'cause I already
told them that I spent it.
170
00:05:54,978 --> 00:05:56,377
Okay, maybe this helps.
171
00:05:56,379 --> 00:05:57,500
I found this jacket online.
172
00:05:57,502 --> 00:05:59,845
It's beaded, it's exactly $27,000.
173
00:05:59,846 --> 00:06:01,281
So add to cart?
174
00:06:01,283 --> 00:06:02,838
Spending it isn't going to help.
175
00:06:02,838 --> 00:06:04,130
Actually, it might.
176
00:06:04,132 --> 00:06:05,153
- What?
- Yes!
177
00:06:05,922 --> 00:06:07,959
Glenn, can I borrow
$2,000 for sales tax?
178
00:06:08,425 --> 00:06:10,048
- Sure.
- No, not on the coat...
179
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:12,994
that's bananas... but if you need
to spend it on maintenance,
180
00:06:12,995 --> 00:06:14,928
why don't we just spend it
on maintenance?
181
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:18,332
How am I supposed to find
$27,000 worth of stuff
182
00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,367
to repair in one day?
183
00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:22,836
There's just not
that much stuff that's broken!
184
00:06:22,838 --> 00:06:25,189
Well, there would be if we broke it.
185
00:06:26,843 --> 00:06:29,009
Ugh, I can't wait to have a manager
186
00:06:29,012 --> 00:06:31,079
that's not a paunchy
idiot with elf hair.
187
00:06:31,081 --> 00:06:32,913
Well, it's not gonna be me.
188
00:06:32,915 --> 00:06:34,581
Laurie won't even let me
interview for the job.
189
00:06:34,584 --> 00:06:37,235
She's already decided who she's hiring.
190
00:06:37,237 --> 00:06:39,319
Whoa. It sounds like you need to go
191
00:06:39,322 --> 00:06:41,526
take a big, fat 17-B on her desk.
192
00:06:41,891 --> 00:06:43,792
Eww. What are you talking about?
193
00:06:44,178 --> 00:06:46,528
Rule 17-B. 17-B?
194
00:06:46,529 --> 00:06:48,762
Come on, you know 17-B. 17-B.
195
00:06:48,764 --> 00:06:50,409
B as in boy. Rule 17-B.
196
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,663
You can't just keep saying it...
197
00:06:51,665 --> 00:06:54,002
Any employee who completes
the Cloud 9 Academy
198
00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:56,346
should be granted an interview if...
199
00:06:57,274 --> 00:07:00,908
if a management position
becomes available at their...
200
00:07:00,911 --> 00:07:02,976
- Dina, just say it.
- At their store.
201
00:07:03,543 --> 00:07:04,295
Okay?
202
00:07:04,297 --> 00:07:05,947
She literally has to let you interview.
203
00:07:05,949 --> 00:07:07,314
She's already decided who she's hiring,
204
00:07:07,317 --> 00:07:08,315
so what's the point?
205
00:07:08,317 --> 00:07:10,528
The point is you should get
to make your case.
206
00:07:11,137 --> 00:07:13,218
Look, if you feel awkward asking her,
207
00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:14,975
I'm happy to come back you up.
208
00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:19,076
Laurie Neustadt, you are
in violation of rule 17-B
209
00:07:19,079 --> 00:07:20,542
of Cloud 9 hiring policy.
210
00:07:20,543 --> 00:07:21,963
So you either interview Amy,
211
00:07:21,964 --> 00:07:24,132
or I file a 31-J with Kyle Robichot,
212
00:07:24,134 --> 00:07:26,968
and you do not want me filing
a 31-J with Kyle Robichot.
213
00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,136
So that's your move?
214
00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:29,788
You're forcing me to interview you.
215
00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:31,206
- I... I... I...
- Fine.
216
00:07:31,207 --> 00:07:33,223
Whatever, let's just
get this over with.
217
00:07:35,177 --> 00:07:36,408
Knock 'em dead.
218
00:07:36,730 --> 00:07:39,463
[jazz music]
219
00:07:43,641 --> 00:07:46,560
So, should I start with
my qualifications?
220
00:07:46,562 --> 00:07:48,478
So I don't really think
that you are qualified,
221
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,148
but, you know,
it is your interview, so...
222
00:07:52,887 --> 00:07:55,735
Okay, all right, um, well,
223
00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:59,990
I've been at Cloud 9 for 15 years.
224
00:07:59,992 --> 00:08:05,079
I have strong relationships
with the staff, and over time,
225
00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:09,333
we have really built
a mutual respect and trust.
226
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:12,418
Um, sorry, do you need a minute?
227
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:14,288
No, I'm fine. No. Keep going.
228
00:08:16,091 --> 00:08:19,093
Okay, uh, well,
as far as specifics go...
229
00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:19,959
Yo, yo, yo, it's HotNuts here.
230
00:08:19,961 --> 00:08:22,129
I've undertaken a
number of initiatives.
231
00:08:22,130 --> 00:08:23,264
[loud] Uh, for starters,
232
00:08:23,266 --> 00:08:25,466
I streamlined our go-backs process
233
00:08:25,468 --> 00:08:28,601
so that we waste less time in restock,
234
00:08:29,028 --> 00:08:32,306
and also I reorganized
the women's wear section
235
00:08:32,307 --> 00:08:36,143
so that basics like camisoles
and strapless bras
236
00:08:36,144 --> 00:08:38,144
were easier to find
during wedding season.
237
00:08:38,147 --> 00:08:39,905
Oh, God! They look really bad!
238
00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:41,527
I'm not getting this job, am I?
239
00:08:41,873 --> 00:08:42,649
No.
240
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:46,620
[tranquil store music]
241
00:08:46,621 --> 00:08:49,623
Um, are you scrolling
a block of cheese?
242
00:08:49,625 --> 00:08:53,326
Ugh, I miss my phone!
243
00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:54,995
Yeah, I know. Look, it's only
244
00:08:54,996 --> 00:08:56,713
a couple more hours.
It's the length of a movie.
245
00:08:56,716 --> 00:08:58,499
If I can sit through
"The Hitman's Bodyguard,"
246
00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:00,134
I can make it through this.
247
00:09:00,135 --> 00:09:02,635
- "The Hitman's Bodyguard"?
- Yeah.
248
00:09:03,225 --> 00:09:04,581
You didn't see that? Ryan Reynolds,
249
00:09:04,609 --> 00:09:06,340
Samuel I. Jackson, and uh,
250
00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:09,726
the other guy. He always
plays a bad dude.
251
00:09:10,413 --> 00:09:11,610
Uh, he's British.
252
00:09:11,611 --> 00:09:13,187
- David Beckham.
- No.
253
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:14,383
He's British,.
254
00:09:14,384 --> 00:09:16,833
Yeah, I know, but that's not who I'm...
255
00:09:17,626 --> 00:09:18,708
it's, uh... oh!
256
00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:20,759
Okay, you know who I'm talking about.
257
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,929
He's in everything.
258
00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:23,422
He was in Harry Potter.
259
00:09:23,423 --> 00:09:25,510
- Oh, Daniel Radcliffe!
- No.
260
00:09:26,052 --> 00:09:28,482
- Daniel Radcliffe is British.
- Yeah, I know. Okay?
261
00:09:29,215 --> 00:09:31,582
All right, I got a real grab bag!
262
00:09:32,102 --> 00:09:34,645
I've got hammers and
wrenches, crowbars.
263
00:09:34,647 --> 00:09:36,227
What do we need a bow and arrow for?
264
00:09:36,229 --> 00:09:38,437
I don't know. It felt... of the world.
265
00:09:38,438 --> 00:09:40,832
Okay, well, where... where...
where do we begin?
266
00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:42,840
I figure we'd knock
267
00:09:42,841 --> 00:09:44,067
a few holes through this wall here.
268
00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:46,294
What, no! This... this wall?
269
00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:49,434
This... this is the wall
that Cody pinned me against
270
00:09:49,436 --> 00:09:51,582
when he was learning
to drive the forklift.
271
00:09:51,584 --> 00:09:52,806
- Glenn, Glenn.
- Come on!
272
00:09:52,807 --> 00:09:53,828
If you don't want to go to jail,
273
00:09:53,830 --> 00:09:55,408
we're gonna have to do some damage.
274
00:09:55,409 --> 00:09:56,182
Yeah.
275
00:09:57,793 --> 00:09:59,650
- All right.
- Go get 'em.
276
00:10:00,577 --> 00:10:01,499
[tap]
277
00:10:03,292 --> 00:10:05,076
I... I think, uh, I think you wanna...
278
00:10:05,076 --> 00:10:07,105
you wanna put your back into it
a little more.
279
00:10:07,886 --> 00:10:08,918
There you go.
280
00:10:08,921 --> 00:10:09,822
- Ow!
- Oh, oh.
281
00:10:09,823 --> 00:10:12,532
So apparently, I'm just not
qualified enough for the job.
282
00:10:12,851 --> 00:10:14,908
You're more qualified
than Glenn ever was.
283
00:10:15,427 --> 00:10:16,916
Do you want me to seduce her for you?
284
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,863
[sighs] No. Thank you, though.
285
00:10:18,864 --> 00:10:20,817
Have you ever heard of
something called HotNuts?
286
00:10:20,817 --> 00:10:21,975
Oh yeah, that guy's great.
287
00:10:21,975 --> 00:10:23,658
He's worth, like, 10 million dollars.
288
00:10:23,659 --> 00:10:26,008
Excuse me, folks,
can everyone gather up?
289
00:10:26,841 --> 00:10:29,716
Um, I'd like to introduce
you all to someone.
290
00:10:29,717 --> 00:10:32,397
This is, uh, Blaine Neustadt,
291
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:33,993
and he's going to be taking over
292
00:10:33,994 --> 00:10:35,673
for Glenn as manager.
293
00:10:35,673 --> 00:10:38,863
You... you... uh, excuse me, Neustadt?
294
00:10:38,864 --> 00:10:40,817
As in, like, your last name?
295
00:10:40,817 --> 00:10:42,286
Uh-huh. Yeah.
296
00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:44,743
Not that it's any
of your business, but yes,
297
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:46,636
Glenn is my son,
but that has nothing to do
298
00:10:46,638 --> 00:10:47,971
with why he got hired here.
299
00:10:47,971 --> 00:10:50,686
Wow, you do not look old
enough to be her son.
300
00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:51,937
That's an odd thing to say.
301
00:10:51,937 --> 00:10:54,165
Ah, I just want to say hey everyone!
302
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:56,600
Uh, I'm so excited to be here.
303
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,153
This is so cool to be part
of this great team.
304
00:10:59,154 --> 00:11:02,519
Uh, mostly I am very excited
to be done doing Postmates.
305
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,475
[chuckles] Oh, my car reeks.
306
00:11:05,317 --> 00:11:06,616
This is a good choice
307
00:11:06,618 --> 00:11:09,606
if you're looking for graphics
and raw processing power.
308
00:11:09,607 --> 00:11:12,826
Um, for example, I'll just
pull up my Instagram account.
309
00:11:12,826 --> 00:11:15,013
Oh, I'm just looking
for a "get well" gift
310
00:11:15,014 --> 00:11:16,044
for my mother-in-law.
311
00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:18,052
She doesn't use a computer.
312
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,323
What? Corona and Stacy S.
313
00:11:20,326 --> 00:11:21,958
Are hanging out at Chili's?
314
00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:23,341
[scoffs] I hate them!
315
00:11:23,995 --> 00:11:24,711
Like.
316
00:11:24,831 --> 00:11:27,163
Okay, so I heard that
if you look directly
317
00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:29,326
into the scanner light,
you instantly go blind.
318
00:11:30,019 --> 00:11:31,841
This weirdly makes me feel better,
319
00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:34,109
'cause it wasn't about me
being unqualified.
320
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,815
She just wanted to hire her son.
321
00:11:35,816 --> 00:11:37,455
Yeah, but you can't let her do that.
322
00:11:37,456 --> 00:11:39,193
You need to go back
up to her and tell her
323
00:11:39,195 --> 00:11:41,352
that she needs to either give
you a real shot at this job,
324
00:11:41,354 --> 00:11:42,539
or you'll go to corporate and tell them
325
00:11:42,552 --> 00:11:43,932
about her little nepotism hire.
326
00:11:43,932 --> 00:11:46,411
No, I'm not gonna go
tell on her like I'm 12.
327
00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:47,792
Besides, corporate doesn't care.
328
00:11:47,793 --> 00:11:49,307
It would be a waste of my time.
329
00:11:49,307 --> 00:11:51,600
Hey, um, you're
the floor supervisor, right?
330
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,321
Uh-huh.
331
00:11:52,322 --> 00:11:53,764
Great, awesome, um.
332
00:11:53,764 --> 00:11:55,868
Can you tell me where inventory is?
333
00:11:57,328 --> 00:12:01,206
Uh, yeah, it's sort of all around us.
334
00:12:02,908 --> 00:12:05,471
Yes, yes, thank you.
335
00:12:05,471 --> 00:12:08,072
I will... I will go look
into that. Thank you.
336
00:12:13,288 --> 00:12:14,544
- Can we talk?
- [nasally] No!
337
00:12:14,547 --> 00:12:15,215
Oh, God.
338
00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:16,411
I'm sorry. You're busy.
339
00:12:16,412 --> 00:12:18,258
- Get out! Go!
- Never mind.
340
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:21,191
[upbeat music]
341
00:12:24,037 --> 00:12:28,006
Amy! The Aiming of the Shrew.
342
00:12:28,009 --> 00:12:29,424
Hey, Laurie.
343
00:12:29,427 --> 00:12:31,210
I have been meaning to talk to you.
344
00:12:31,211 --> 00:12:34,379
I want to make you a manager.
345
00:12:34,381 --> 00:12:35,847
Um, what?
346
00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:38,267
What, uh, me? What about Blaine?
347
00:12:39,052 --> 00:12:40,885
He... Blaine's great. Um, it's just...
348
00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:42,221
you know, I've been thinking about it,
349
00:12:42,222 --> 00:12:44,557
and I looked through your
file, and clearly,
350
00:12:44,558 --> 00:12:46,591
you're the most qualified
person here, so...
351
00:12:47,543 --> 00:12:49,028
Um, wow.
352
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:52,230
That is a lot to take in
all of a sudden.
353
00:12:52,232 --> 00:12:54,866
Big, big opportunity.
354
00:12:54,869 --> 00:12:58,715
I know, um,
just before I say yes or no,
355
00:12:58,716 --> 00:13:00,072
I just want to be clear.
356
00:13:00,073 --> 00:13:02,073
Um, if you're offering it to me
357
00:13:02,076 --> 00:13:04,600
because I'm the best person
for the job, then yes!
358
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,129
I will take and I will be kick-ass.
359
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:09,432
But if you're offering it
to me because of...
360
00:13:10,711 --> 00:13:11,750
[sniff]
361
00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:13,418
Then, uh, you know,
you don't have to do that.
362
00:13:13,421 --> 00:13:15,303
It's not like I'm going
to go tell anyone.
363
00:13:15,876 --> 00:13:17,423
Really? Wow.
364
00:13:17,874 --> 00:13:19,782
Okay. I appreciate that.
365
00:13:19,783 --> 00:13:21,427
Not too many people would do that.
366
00:13:21,428 --> 00:13:21,985
[clicks tongue] Thank you.
367
00:13:23,931 --> 00:13:25,264
Sorry, wait, I'm sorry.
368
00:13:25,265 --> 00:13:26,981
Uh, so where did we land exactly?
369
00:13:26,984 --> 00:13:29,434
- What do you mean?
- Do I have the job?
370
00:13:29,437 --> 00:13:31,403
But I thought you just turned it down.
371
00:13:31,404 --> 00:13:33,238
Well, no, I mean, that just...
372
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,239
only if you were offering it to me
373
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,073
because of the drug thing,
374
00:13:35,076 --> 00:13:37,109
but if you were offering it to me
375
00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:38,277
because of my abilities,
376
00:13:38,278 --> 00:13:39,171
then...
377
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,399
Hmm.
378
00:13:41,999 --> 00:13:43,775
So this is awkward.
379
00:13:46,086 --> 00:13:48,287
[N.W.A.'s "Gangsta Gangsta" plays]
380
00:13:48,288 --> 00:13:50,788
♪ Here's a little something
about a brother like me ♪
381
00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:53,926
♪ Never should've been let out
the penitentiary ♪
382
00:13:53,927 --> 00:13:55,793
♪ Ice Cube will like to say ♪
383
00:13:55,796 --> 00:13:58,179
♪ That I'm a crazy mother
from around the way ♪
384
00:13:58,182 --> 00:14:00,849
♪ Since I was a youth,
I smoked weed out ♪
385
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:03,351
♪ Now I'm the type of punk
that you read about ♪
386
00:14:03,354 --> 00:14:05,638
♪ Doing the crime or two,
that's what the hell I do ♪
387
00:14:05,639 --> 00:14:08,139
♪ You don't like how
I'm living, well... ♪
388
00:14:08,142 --> 00:14:10,308
♪ This is a crew and I'm in it ♪
389
00:14:10,311 --> 00:14:12,311
♪ My man Dre'll knock you out
in a minute ♪
390
00:14:12,312 --> 00:14:15,197
♪ With a right left,
right left you're toothless ♪
391
00:14:15,198 --> 00:14:17,649
♪ And then you say,
damn they ruthless ♪
392
00:14:17,652 --> 00:14:20,318
♪ We'll make you say it again ♪
393
00:14:20,321 --> 00:14:22,538
♪ N.W.A's messing up the program ♪
394
00:14:22,539 --> 00:14:25,456
♪ And then you realize we don't care ♪
395
00:14:25,458 --> 00:14:26,958
[toilet flushes]
396
00:14:26,961 --> 00:14:28,961
Go, go, go.
397
00:14:28,962 --> 00:14:30,495
♪ About drinking straight
out the eight bottle ♪
398
00:14:30,498 --> 00:14:32,463
♪ Tell the truth,
do I look like a role model? ♪
399
00:14:32,466 --> 00:14:35,000
♪ To a kid looking up to me ♪
400
00:14:35,001 --> 00:14:37,336
♪ But I don't give a damn
cause I keep bailing ♪
401
00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:39,713
♪ Yo, tell them what they're yelling ♪
402
00:14:39,774 --> 00:14:41,005
Okay, no. You know this guy.
403
00:14:41,008 --> 00:14:43,152
He's a British actor, he's older,
404
00:14:43,153 --> 00:14:44,143
he likes being weird,
405
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:45,510
he's always doing stuff with his hair.
406
00:14:45,513 --> 00:14:47,178
Sometimes it's long,
sometimes it's short.
407
00:14:47,607 --> 00:14:49,480
He was in Batman.
Oh, uh, Christian Bale.
408
00:14:49,482 --> 00:14:51,517
No, no, no. He wasn't Batman.
409
00:14:51,519 --> 00:14:53,184
Like I said, he's older.
410
00:14:53,187 --> 00:14:55,153
Just... just look it up on your phone.
411
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,264
Michael Caine.
412
00:14:56,264 --> 00:14:58,739
No, it's not Michael...
just pull up IMDB!
413
00:14:58,740 --> 00:15:00,985
Dude, it's Michael Caine!
He plays the butler.
414
00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:02,157
Yeah, I know he plays the butler.
415
00:15:02,158 --> 00:15:03,988
- The Joker?
- Yeah,
416
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,875
the older British actor
I'm thinking of is the Joker.
417
00:15:07,876 --> 00:15:08,764
Thank you.
418
00:15:09,238 --> 00:15:10,273
I like movies.
419
00:15:11,447 --> 00:15:13,254
And then she just offered me the job.
420
00:15:13,254 --> 00:15:15,356
This is awesome! You and me,
421
00:15:15,357 --> 00:15:16,716
manager, assistant manager?
422
00:15:16,719 --> 00:15:18,836
Oh, it's going to be like
we're Bush and Cheney.
423
00:15:18,837 --> 00:15:20,721
You know, I'm the brains
pulling all the strings
424
00:15:20,722 --> 00:15:22,673
behind the scenes, and you're
the super sexy puppet.
425
00:15:22,674 --> 00:15:25,009
What... I'm... I'm...
I didn't take the job.
426
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:26,133
What? Why?
427
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,678
Because that's not how
I wanna get the job.
428
00:15:28,681 --> 00:15:30,563
If they're going to hire me,
I want it to be because
429
00:15:30,566 --> 00:15:32,015
I'm the most qualified person.
430
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,683
[sighs]
431
00:15:33,686 --> 00:15:37,312
Hey, so I guess we're
just out of green beans.
432
00:15:37,313 --> 00:15:40,524
Should I get somebody to go
buy more from another Cloud 9?
433
00:15:41,911 --> 00:15:43,840
Is that really
what you think you should do?
434
00:15:44,523 --> 00:15:46,239
I guess. Right?
435
00:15:47,082 --> 00:15:48,865
I just hope they're not selling
them for more than we are,
436
00:15:48,868 --> 00:15:50,701
or else we're losing money on this.
437
00:15:51,671 --> 00:15:52,919
Okay.
438
00:15:54,590 --> 00:15:56,565
There is a lot of damage around here.
439
00:15:56,566 --> 00:15:57,727
Yeah, I know.
440
00:15:57,729 --> 00:15:59,710
It was a gang of teenaged hoodlums.
441
00:15:59,711 --> 00:16:01,928
You know, slicked hair,
leather jackets,
442
00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:03,714
combs in their back pockets.
443
00:16:03,716 --> 00:16:06,804
Uh, total, I'd say you're
looking at $18,000 for repairs.
444
00:16:06,806 --> 00:16:07,624
$18,000?
445
00:16:07,625 --> 00:16:09,184
Yeah, there's a lot to do around here.
446
00:16:09,186 --> 00:16:11,322
I thought it would be
more like $27,000.
447
00:16:11,890 --> 00:16:13,695
You never charge me this little.
448
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,441
The truth is...
449
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,945
I've been overbilling you for years,
450
00:16:17,947 --> 00:16:20,551
but I recently quit drinking
451
00:16:20,552 --> 00:16:22,899
and I'm trying to be a better person.
452
00:16:22,902 --> 00:16:25,735
I can do it for $15,000,
but that's final.
453
00:16:25,738 --> 00:16:27,705
$15,000, but that's crazy!
454
00:16:27,706 --> 00:16:28,798
No, it's not crazy.
455
00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:30,546
It's... it's me trying to be
a better person.
456
00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:31,908
Can you go with me on this one?
457
00:16:31,911 --> 00:16:33,463
Yeah, okay.
458
00:16:33,465 --> 00:16:36,797
[country music]
459
00:16:36,798 --> 00:16:38,881
♪
460
00:16:38,884 --> 00:16:41,634
♪ Falls through the sky like a stone ♪
461
00:16:42,361 --> 00:16:43,727
I'm just gonna say it.
462
00:16:43,808 --> 00:16:46,142
Blaine is sexy,
but he is not a good manager.
463
00:16:46,225 --> 00:16:47,475
He keeps pointing at me and goes,
464
00:16:47,475 --> 00:16:48,592
"This guy gets it,"
465
00:16:48,594 --> 00:16:50,427
and I don't. I don't get it.
466
00:16:50,428 --> 00:16:52,229
Well, none of us would have
to deal with Blaine
467
00:16:52,230 --> 00:16:54,898
if someone had taken the management job
468
00:16:54,899 --> 00:16:56,432
when Laurie offered it to her.
469
00:16:56,434 --> 00:16:58,100
- What?
- Uh, wait.
470
00:16:58,102 --> 00:16:59,251
She gave you the job?
471
00:16:59,253 --> 00:17:00,937
No. No.
472
00:17:02,274 --> 00:17:04,441
I mean, technically yes, she did,
473
00:17:04,442 --> 00:17:08,111
but only because I walked in on her
doing something embarrassing.
474
00:17:08,113 --> 00:17:10,279
Let's just say it involved
her nose and cocaine.
475
00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:11,280
- [all gasping]
- What?
476
00:17:11,282 --> 00:17:12,415
Oh, my God!
477
00:17:12,417 --> 00:17:14,785
So you could've had the job,
but you turned it down?
478
00:17:15,153 --> 00:17:17,287
Guys, I'm not going to blackmail my way
479
00:17:17,288 --> 00:17:18,454
into being the manager.
480
00:17:18,457 --> 00:17:20,289
I should get it because I earned it.
481
00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:21,590
Right, just like Blaine earned it
482
00:17:21,593 --> 00:17:23,460
by coming out of the district manager.
483
00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:25,461
He was born into power
like Prince Charles.
484
00:17:25,463 --> 00:17:27,431
At least you're working for it
like Meghan Markle.
485
00:17:27,432 --> 00:17:30,299
Anyway, your blackmail
cancels out his nepotism.
486
00:17:30,301 --> 00:17:31,801
And it'd be a lot better for us.
487
00:17:31,804 --> 00:17:33,854
I mean I rather work for you
than a guy my own age.
488
00:17:33,855 --> 00:17:35,086
Oh, honey.
489
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:36,973
You got to do what's
for the greater good.
490
00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:38,858
If you could cure cancer,
491
00:17:38,861 --> 00:17:40,861
but you had to blow up
a bus full of children,
492
00:17:41,392 --> 00:17:42,278
wouldn't you do it?
493
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,480
I mean, I guess?
494
00:17:44,482 --> 00:17:46,013
Just take the job.
495
00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:47,317
You're not just doing it for you.
496
00:17:47,318 --> 00:17:49,035
You're doing it for all of us.
497
00:17:49,488 --> 00:17:51,454
I mean, I guess I would be
better than Blaine.
498
00:17:51,457 --> 00:17:53,790
- Yeah.
- Hey Amy, guess what?
499
00:17:54,209 --> 00:17:57,655
One of the kids
on that bus had the cure.
500
00:17:57,856 --> 00:17:58,662
[crunch]
501
00:17:58,663 --> 00:17:59,829
Twist ending.
502
00:18:01,655 --> 00:18:03,772
Okay, well,
maybe prison won't be too bad.
503
00:18:03,775 --> 00:18:06,442
You know, maybe I can be
the guy that tells the warden
504
00:18:06,444 --> 00:18:08,244
that the other guys
are doing bad things
505
00:18:08,247 --> 00:18:09,926
and I'll just work my way up.
506
00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:11,960
Glenn, you're not going
to go to prison, okay?
507
00:18:12,146 --> 00:18:14,904
It's fine. We... we
just need to do about...
508
00:18:15,098 --> 00:18:16,897
what, 12 grand worth of damage
509
00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,505
- in... in the next hour.
- Oh.
510
00:18:18,506 --> 00:18:20,317
We have fertilizer
in the garden center.
511
00:18:20,319 --> 00:18:21,028
We can make a bomb.
512
00:18:21,029 --> 00:18:22,570
I feel like going from embezzlement
513
00:18:22,571 --> 00:18:24,527
to domestic terrorism
is the wrong direction.
514
00:18:24,528 --> 00:18:26,278
We could hire termites
to eat the store.
515
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,529
- How do you hire termites?
- I don't know, with wood?
516
00:18:28,531 --> 00:18:30,865
Guys, no. No more.
517
00:18:33,336 --> 00:18:35,287
She's been through enough.
518
00:18:35,955 --> 00:18:38,957
[middle of the road music]
519
00:18:38,959 --> 00:18:41,041
♪
520
00:18:41,044 --> 00:18:42,794
Gary Oldman.
521
00:18:43,213 --> 00:18:44,378
Gary Oldman!
522
00:18:44,381 --> 00:18:46,431
Yes, it's Gary Oldman!
523
00:18:46,432 --> 00:18:47,914
Oh!
524
00:18:48,551 --> 00:18:49,933
I don't know who that is.
525
00:18:49,935 --> 00:18:52,354
♪
526
00:18:52,355 --> 00:18:54,722
[keys clacking]
527
00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:58,248
Hey, Laur of the Rings. [Chuckles]
528
00:18:58,942 --> 00:19:00,060
Hello, Amy.
529
00:19:00,545 --> 00:19:02,396
Um, I was thinking a little bit more
530
00:19:02,398 --> 00:19:04,531
about... about what you said before,
531
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:07,067
uh, regarding, you know,
who is a better fit here.
532
00:19:07,069 --> 00:19:08,191
Oh, right.
533
00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:09,788
Yes, except I already told corporate
534
00:19:09,789 --> 00:19:11,365
that I gave the job to Blaine, so...
535
00:19:11,531 --> 00:19:13,644
Oh, okay.
536
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,794
Uh, well, um...
537
00:19:16,099 --> 00:19:19,112
speaking of... of telling things
to corporate,
538
00:19:19,113 --> 00:19:20,548
just wanted to let you know that I...
539
00:19:20,549 --> 00:19:22,584
I haven't said anything to them yet
540
00:19:22,586 --> 00:19:24,419
about the, um...
541
00:19:24,421 --> 00:19:25,920
[keys clacking]
542
00:19:25,922 --> 00:19:27,238
Cocaína.
543
00:19:28,518 --> 00:19:29,557
That's cocaine.
544
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:30,773
Right.
545
00:19:31,394 --> 00:19:32,926
Um, thank you.
546
00:19:33,377 --> 00:19:35,596
Uh, you are a very good person.
547
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,317
Well, I mean, am I? [Chuckles]
548
00:19:40,319 --> 00:19:42,069
[chuckles]
549
00:19:42,558 --> 00:19:43,807
[whispering] I don't know.
550
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:46,884
I would just really hate
for corporate to ever find out,
551
00:19:47,576 --> 00:19:52,529
because that would be bad, Laurie-wise.
552
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:55,450
Are you blackmailing me?
553
00:19:55,844 --> 00:19:58,167
[chuckles] No. No.
554
00:19:58,169 --> 00:20:01,088
God, no. No. Sorry.
555
00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:01,916
Okay.
556
00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:04,709
[keys clacking]
557
00:20:04,711 --> 00:20:06,627
[whispering] Okay, yes,
I am blackmailing you!
558
00:20:06,630 --> 00:20:08,462
If you don't give me the job,
I will call corporate
559
00:20:08,464 --> 00:20:11,015
and tell them that you are
a huge [bleep] cokehead.
560
00:20:13,886 --> 00:20:15,436
[sliding]
561
00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:17,806
Really? That's the picture you chose?
562
00:20:17,807 --> 00:20:19,391
I had to blow up the staff photo.
563
00:20:19,393 --> 00:20:20,724
I couldn't find any other photos of you
564
00:20:20,727 --> 00:20:22,527
other than the one
from Cheyenne's wedding,
565
00:20:22,528 --> 00:20:23,611
but with all the hair and makeup,
566
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:25,028
it looked like you were trying
to be a supermodel.
567
00:20:25,536 --> 00:20:27,030
Yeah. Good call.
568
00:20:27,032 --> 00:20:28,231
I think it looks good,
569
00:20:29,368 --> 00:20:30,172
Boss.
570
00:20:30,987 --> 00:20:33,654
[middle of the road music]
571
00:20:33,656 --> 00:20:35,906
Well, I'm sorry we couldn't
get you all the way.
572
00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:37,709
Yeah, but you tried your best,
573
00:20:37,711 --> 00:20:39,376
and I really appreciate that.
574
00:20:39,378 --> 00:20:40,663
Are you gonna be okay?
575
00:20:40,663 --> 00:20:42,163
Yup, don't worry about me.
576
00:20:42,164 --> 00:20:44,132
Everything's gonna be just fine.
577
00:20:47,136 --> 00:20:49,086
I can't believe he's not freaking out.
578
00:20:49,088 --> 00:20:50,755
Yeah, well, I mean,
579
00:20:50,757 --> 00:20:52,390
once you finally decide
to tell the truth...
580
00:20:52,392 --> 00:20:53,258
wait, what's he...
581
00:20:53,259 --> 00:20:55,093
- Whoa, no, stop!
- No, no, no, no, no!
582
00:20:55,095 --> 00:20:57,394
[crashing]
583
00:20:57,396 --> 00:20:58,680
Both: Oh!
584
00:20:58,682 --> 00:20:59,897
[all gasping]
585
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,219
Glenn!
586
00:21:01,984 --> 00:21:03,484
- Oh, my God, Glenn!
- Are you okay?
587
00:21:03,487 --> 00:21:05,403
[panting]
588
00:21:05,404 --> 00:21:07,020
That ought to cover it, right?
589
00:21:08,023 --> 00:21:10,692
- Yeah, pretty much.
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
590
00:21:10,693 --> 00:21:13,144
Yeah, I thought so.
42287
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