All language subtitles for Slutever s02e06 Bisexual Men.eng

My name's Rob.

I identified as straight
for a very, very long time.

In my journal, it's filled
with me saying,

"I don't care if I'm gay
or I'm straight.

Whichever it is, I just
want to know which it is."

I knew the word "bisexual",
but I really didn't feel like

I had permission to use it

because I thought it was like,
this 50-50 split.

Yeah, I mean, that's what I
think men and women think, like,

overall, that, like,
either you're gay

or you're straight depending on
who you're talking to.

You're romantically
homeless.

Yeah.[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Karley: Everyone knows that
all women are part gay.

Duh.

But how come for men

we assume that if they even
hug another guy,

they're 1,000% gay.
Random!

As a woman, I've always known
that being bisexual

is a badge of honor
that makes me edgy.

But why isn't it the same
for guys?

I assumed that if this male
bisexual unicorn

actually exists,
he would be like

a gay best friend
who wanted to go down on you.

Wait, is a bisexual guy
the holy grail of boyfriends?

♪♪

Even in the slutty circles
I revolve in,

I rarely encounter
a bisexual guy.

So I'm venturing out into
the East Village to find out,

are bisexual men
as rare as they seem?

Do you know
any bisexual women?

I do.
Do you know any bisexual men?

Not very closely,
but I do know of one.

I don't know.
I know a few in Atlanta.

In Norway,
all are bisexual. Really?

the bisexual men
are hiding? Almost.

Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Do you think that
bisexual men exist?

No.Do you think that
bisexual women exist?

Facts -- I love
a bisexual woman.

If there's a bisexual lady,
then why --

then a man can't
be bisexual?

That's what I'm asking.

I don't know.

He's like...

I feel like men are afraid
of how they might be judged

in a hyper-masculine
society.

Do you feel oppressed
by masculine norms?

I want to say "no",
but the answer's "yes".

Yes and no?
I sit with my legs crossed,

and people told me
I shouldn't do that as a man.

But I feel
comfortable doing it.

I like it.
Yeah. Thanks.

[ Laughs ]

Interesting.

So it seems like there are more

bi guys out there
than I thought.

But our tragic society
has pushed them into hiding.

Ugh, I'm too lazy
to go to Norway.

♪♪

Luckily, I do know of one
magical place

where people are free
to live in harmonious

sexual anarchy --
porn.

Duh.

Despite my porn addiction,

I've actually never watched
a bi-dude porno.

I wonder what it's like.

D: And then the next scene
is just me in a towel.

I think somebody says
"Hey, do you remember

when we all fucked around
when you were married?"

And I'm like,
"Yeah, that was hot."

And you look at me and you go,
"Yeah, well, we want round two."

We all start making out
and you get pushed on the bed.

Your shorts come down
and my mouth immediately

goes where it's
supposed to. Got it.

How do you get a boner
immediately? Like...?

I just can get a boner
whenever I please.

So there's that, but like,
I found out most people --Go!

[ Groaning ]

[ Laughter ]

So what is
"bisexual male porn"?

Would you say like
a "threesome"?

Yeah.
I mean, most -- Like, two guys

D: I think it goes a little
further than that.

I think if you Googled
"bi porn" -- Sorry --

if you Google "bi porn"...

let's say the vast majority
of what you see out there

is what I call
"forced bi porn".

And I'm a big believer
that that's not

what's going
on behind closed doors.

Can I see how it's different?

Okay. D, I found this
really sexy young guy

at the bar
and I've been...Hello.

...really wanting you
to experiment with him.

Experiment with what?

Like...
Well, you know how we ta--

...I already told you
I don't like dicks.[ Laughs ]

But -- okay, I know
you don't like it,

but I really
think it's hot. Fuck.

I just don't
like dicks.Dante: Come on, you might like it.

[ Groaning ]And that
is forced bi --

Yeah. Yeah,
pretty much that.

Oh, this is amazing.

That was just -- it was
an improv as well.

Yeah, and the difference
would be to watch her reaction

if I just go up to him
right now and I'm just like...

♪♪

And then
she gets up here...

-Yay.
-[ Laughs ]

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

Okay, I get it.
That was better.

Well, it just felt hot.

-It felt hotter.
-Yeah.

D: Are you guys cool if I
just take a shower here?

Like, I already brought my stuff
and now I just leave them here.

Dante: Yes, go for it, dude
You don't have to ask. Just go.

Yeah, dude.
You know where everything is.

He's looking
really good.

I know, right?
He's fucking hot.

Wait. What?

So are you bisexual in your
regular life or just in porn?

D: I consider
myself bisexual.

I love having sex
with really cool, hot,

charismatic girls
on camera.

But relationship-wise, I weigh
much more on the gay side.

Dante, are you bisexual both
in and out of porn?

I find myself definitely
more attracted to women

at this point,
but most of my --

the stuff I've filmed
is on the gay side.

And so now, it's probably
progressively getting

more and more and more,
and I'm finding myself

enjoying guys more.
So...

Amilia: I mean, from the way
he looks at you...Dante: L-Let's just ask.

...I mean,
so let's do it. Let's ask him.

Let's ask him.

[ Laughs ]

So if you're a performer
who sleeps with men

and women in the industry,
are you in high demand then?

Well, there's some homophobia
on the straight side,

so it's just kind of like,
when they see

a crossover performer,

a lot of the straight studios
and straight performers

don't want to associate
with you.

But there's a stigma
on the gay side, too.

I'm still growing,
but let's put it this way,

not as quickly
as I could be.

So you're saying that there's
a specific stigma

around bisexual male performers
in the industry?

Yes.

What?

♪♪

Karley:
Why is it important for you to be a crossover performer?

I mean, at least in my opinion,
I feel like,

it's silly to hide
what you really like.Yeah.

And it's nice to see men
being bisexual

because we see that
so much more often

in women in culture.Yeah.

And it's so much more okay
for women to do that.

Why can't it be for men?

Agreed.

Did we just solve
sexuality?

[ Laughs ]

Well, you guys have to
change the world,

one bi-porn scene
at a time.

Geez Louise, if this much
stigma exists for bi men,

even within the sexually
open porn world,

I can't help but wonder --

how tough is it for the elusive
bi man out in the wild.

If I introduce myself
and it becomes

even hinted that I've like,

actually had sex with a guy,
she's like, "no."

Personally, I think there's
nothing hotter than, like,

watching a masculine dude
sucking another guy's dick.

Is putting something
in your butthole a gateway drug

to sexual openness
for a guy? Yes.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Karley: After learning how hard
bisexual men

have it in the porn world,
I'm curious --

what issues do bi men face

when trying to live
their best bi lives?

Luckily, I found a bi-men
support group

in New York City
called "BiRequest",

with a mission to support men
on their bisexual journeys.

Why did you decide
to start the group?

It started very informally
as sort of people who knew

they were not gay and knew
that they were not straight.

A lot of folks that come
to the group, like,

I didn't know there were
any bisexual people

in the city of eight million
or whatever it is, right?

But meanwhile, the room
is filled with people.

So there's, like, more bisexuals
out there than we think?

Absolutely.

Paul:
Please, of course, speak from your personal experiences.

If you like what you heard,

you can do the hippie snaps
or whatever you like.

What are your thoughts about
being bisexual,

using that term or not using it
at all or...?

I identified as straight for
a very, very long time.

I knew the word "bisexual"
existed,

but I didn't really know enough
about it and what it meant

and the fact that it didn't have
to be a 50-50 split.

And I felt forced to choose.

And it was easier
to identify as straight.

I didn't even think
about making that choice.

I'm 33 years old now.

I've only started coming out
to people

in the last six months.

Every coming out
should have a snap.

In my experience
in the beginning

when I first
would come out as bisexual,

that's where the sex questions

would immediately, like,
come off the bat.

And I'm talking about
from strangers.

Like, I'm talking about
from people I just met.

"What was it like the first time
you had sex with a girl?"

Like, "Did -- Have you ever
had sex with a gir--" Whoa!

Like, you don't even know
my full name.

You don't know me at all and
you're asking me these, like,

really invasive,
intrusive questions.

I'm wondering, what are
the difficulties you face,

particularly when dating?

You go to a straight bar
and, like,

you forget those straight
women like straight men.

You know,
if I introduce myself

and it becomes even hinted
that I've, like,

actually had sex with a guy,
she's like, "no".

Like, 80% of the time,
I would say, with women.

So for me at least, it's always
easier if I pass as gay there.

For me, one of the biggest
barriers to coming out

was, um, be--

I was afraid that people
wouldn't believe me

that I was still interested
in women.

And they would assume I was gay.

I also told an ex-girlfriend
recently and came out to her,

and she told me
that I was just confused.

Man: Wow.

Is sex better for you now?
Yeah, go ahead.

As I've been kind of opening
up to experiences with men,

it's really made me
kind of recalibrate

and reflect on the relationships
I've had with women,

and it makes me realize, like,
"Wow," you know,

"I really wouldn't
want a man

to treat me like this
or act this way."

And so, it's really
made things better.

Yeah, I think I no
longer care about,

"Is this --
Does this seem masculine"

and how you should act
while having sex

and what your role is.

So you're saying
sex with women got better

because you started
sleeping with men?

Yeah. It helped me be more
open and honest.

'Cause once you've come out
to a woman as bisexual,

there's not much else
that's embarrassing to say

or that you're not gonna
want to talk about.

So it definitely has made
sex better, I think.

Coming out has made me realize
how invisible we are

because so many people I've come
out to have also come out to me

as bisexual who I didn't know.

And I think the numbers
are not accurate right now,

and we may be at a wave
or a tipping point --A revolution.

That percentage,
it's gonna explode

at a certain point --
a tipping point.

Maybe being bi
is contagious.

-Yes.
-Yes.

Let's hope.

Karley: Ugh, no wonder these
lovely bisexuals hide

when society treats them
like straight trash.

So where can these men go to
truly let their bi flag fly?

Slutty little bisexual!

[ Laughter ]

Karley: For most girls, making
out with everyone at the bar,

no matter what their gender,
was a rite of slutty passage.

If only there was a safe space
for men

to explore
their bisexual desires.

I'm on my way to meet
Daniel Saynt,

the founder of NSFW, a sex
and wellness space in Brooklyn

that caters to the
sex-positive community,

but also specifically
to bisexual men.

Hi.
Hey, how are you? I'm Karley.

How are ya?
Oop. Hugs!

Nice to meet you.Lot of love. Come in.

Ooh,
it's sexy in here.

We're actually setting up
for an event tonight.

This is so professional.I mean, yeah,
it's legit.

Um --
Are you guys, like, planning orgies?

Basically.

Uh, this is one of our
brand's motor bunny.

It's a riding saddle.

Um, and it moves.

That is actually, like,
a little bit too much, right?

[ Laughs ]
You'd be surprised.

There's a lot of people
who can take it to 11.

[ Motor whirrs ]

Karley: Why did you decide
to start NSFW?

For me, personally,
as a bisexual male,

you kind of want that community
and that community

wasn't necessarily the gay
community or lesbian community,

it really is this bi community
which, you know,

doesn't have that many places
to go to talk about that stuff.

And I wanted to create
an experience

that helped educate people,
help teach people.

Well, representation
and visibility

is huge in terms of making
people feel comfortable

to come out
and be who they are, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

I kind of always knew I was
bisexual for a long time.

I grew up in a very
restrictive religion

that didn't really
allow that to be.

You kind of feel,
as you're bisexual,

that you can choose a side
if you wanted to.

So I chose a side
for a while,

and I was married
for some time.

And then, I think I was just
heading to my 30s

and a good quarter of my life
had not been lived truthfully.

So I told my wife,
told my parents,

and just felt a need
to be more openly bisexual.

Bisexuality for men is just --
hasn't really been represented.

And I felt that we just needed
some more people

being honest
and open about it.

Yeah, I read that GLADD
did a survey of television,

and that most of the time,

if bisexual people
are represented in TV,

they're usually
murderers. [ Laughs ]

The only bisexual
representation

I had growing up
was a show called "Nip/Tuck".

One of the characters was, like,
the new doctor who was bisexual.

I remember growing up,
being like, "Oh, wow,

there's a guy who, like,
kisses guys and kisses girls.

Like, that's so crazy."

And so happy about it
being young.

And then, it was
really confusing

'cause he was dating
his sister.

Then, he ended up
not having a penis.

And then, like,
he was a murderer.

[ Laughs ]

What events do you do that
are for bi men?

We do do specific events
that are for men

or for women
who love men who love men.

We actually have an event
coming up called "Frat",

which is gonna kind of
be focused on that.

I-I watch a lot
of fraternity-hazing porn.

There you go.
We'll get you a paddle.

This is, like,
my dream come true.

I would love that.

Daniel:
For the rest of this evening,

you are Phi Theta
fucking property!

You're no longer people.

You're just pledges.

Karley: Basically, this is like
seventh grade summer camp

where boys are punished
for being bisexual...

except now they're into it.
Clever.

You like that?

How badly do you want
to be a member

of Phi Theta, fucker?

So bad, pledgemaster.

I don't believe you!

So bad!

What do you love about
being a bisexual man?

It's more options,
more fun.

And how has being a part
of this, like,

very sex-positive and welcoming
community affect your life?

It trickles down
everywhere.

Once you understand how to talk
to people and, like,

how to ask for what you want,
it's a good thing.

It's something everyone
should do.

Bad bisexual![ Laughter ]

Oh, you can really
take it.Oh, yeah, I can.

Ugh!
One more.

Hey,
who's the boss here?

[ Laughter ]

Do you think
that bisexual men

are the holy grail
of boyfriends?

Absolutely.

I mean, personally, I think
there's nothing hotter

than, like, watching a masculine
dude sucking another guy's dick.

And it's just --
there's such this comfort

with their own sexuality.

I assume that's pretty rare,
actually.

Someone who is like -- has
masculine, macho qualities,

but who is also down to, like,
do some gay stuff.

I find it something
that usually, like,

maybe it's something
they wanted to act on,

but they don't know
what's gonna be accepted,

and that's the great thing
about NSFW,

is it's so openly
accepting of that.

I've actually brought people
that know that

I'm really into bisexual men,
but I don't push it.

And I've brought
them here

and they've had their first
bisexual experience here

because the environment
was so accepting.

Paddle high five.

[ Laughs ]

Karley: Okay, so unfortunately,
not every bi-curious man

has a sex club
in their backyard.

It got me thinking --

what can I do to help out
the male bisexual revolution?

-Oh!
-Oh!

Like, hold the dick?
Yeah.

Then you're gonna start driving
with your pelvis.

I have a bad back,
but let's see how it goes.

Karley: Annoyingly, we live
in a society that tells men,

if they put anything
up their butt,

they're automatically gay.

Talk about unnecessary
sexual anxiety.

So I'm attending a workshop
in a basement

with a bisexual guru
to help me be a better ally

to sexually curious men
everywhere.

What is pegging?

So penis owner being penetrated
by someone

who is a non-penis owner
via a strap-on.

And in terms of usually
strap-on with dildo, right?

That's sort of the basic
definition,

getting fucked by a woman.

So what's gonna happen here
this evening in your class?

Ultimately, we're gonna get
to the harnessing

and attaching some form
of dildo to that.

In the beginning, though,
we're gonna do some hands-on

so we can find out
where the prostate is

and how to relax the sphincter
and all that jazz.

And then after that,
we start demoing --

just go right into it.

Is putting something
in your butthole like

a gateway drug
to sexual openness for a guy?

Yes.
I think we're all --

have some kind of
sexual ambiguity.

The biggest thing
for guys,

especially when it comes
to anal play,

is,
"Does this make me gay?"

No, it doesn't make you gay.
It's okay to explore.

It's okay to see what your
sexuality -- where it takes you.

If I can normalize this kind of
play for them,

then maybe the idea
of being bisexual or enjoying

all these versions
of sexual play --

is more normal, is more --
less stigma.

I mean, that's the idea.

♪♪

Welcome, everyone.
So my name is Dominus Eros,

and welcome to Pegging 101.

I do want to introduce
my co-instructor Shayne.

Hi. I'm Shayne.
I'm a pro-domme.

I do tantra work.
I do BDSM work.

I'm here to help us all learn
the ropes of pegging.

The reason why we do pegging,

first and foremost,
it's pleasurable.

How many people
are really familiar

where exactly
the prostate lies?

Mm...

You can say -- You can say
"no" if you're not sure.

-No.
-No.

Which is where this guy's
gonna come in, good ol' Tony.

For most guys, it's gonna be
about one and a half

to two inches inside.

It's really not that far.

And it's gonna feel a little
nutty, kind of like,

if you put your tongue
in the roof of the mouth.

Go left and right.
You feel kind of how that

texture kind of feels,
that nut part.

That's kind of how
the prostate will feel.

So I think I did
a lot of talking.

Okay, so at this part,
we are already harnessed up,

ready to go.

So we're gonna go into
getting pegged.

What I'm currently doing
is I'm positioning it

in an optimal place,

and I have a few things
working for me.

I've got gravity
and my bodyweight, right?

So the first things that a lot
of guys are going to experience

when something sort of bothers
us is that ring of fire effect.

It's all about giving time.

Like most muscles,
if you give it time...

and you give it breath,
it will relax.

How does it feel?

Really fucking good.

A lot of times, guys,
we are very --

the penis owners -- are very
dick-centric, all right?

Pleasure starts and ends
at your dick.

But prostate
is hugely pleasurable.

It's the equivalent of a g-spot.
It's the p-spot,

has a ton of receptors
in terms of nerves.

And when you have an orgasm,
it's really intense.

So who wants to play
a little bit?

Karley:
Somehow, Shayne and Dominus have made everyone feel

totally non-awkward
about group prostate play.

I guess now it's my turn
to saddle up.

This is right, right?

Is this right?
Shayne.

This is like a fucking...Shayne: There you go.

...child-safety nightmare.

Okay...
There you go.

So essentially, you wanna
just hover around

and sort of
give gentle pressures

and you're gonna allow Tony to
do some of his movements, right?

So let's say Tony was able
to move around.

He's gonna sort of back
into you a little bit.

Then you gotta get steady
'cause you cannot feel it

as much as a penis owner
would be able to, right?

So you're just gonna
stay steady at it.

And you're gonna
just apply weight,

so applying your bodyweight
and just sort of lean in.

Like, hold the dick?Yeah.

And then, I don't know
how flexible you are,

you're gonna start driving
with your pelvis.

I have a bad back,
but let's see how it goes.

Straighten out your legs.

There we go!This is like planking.

It's exhausting.

You want to lay back
and see what that feels like?

'Kay.
So if a guy's on top, or like you saw with me before,

you can just
lean into it. Mm-hmm.

So do sort of like --

there you go --
some pelvis thrusting.

Wait, hold on, you gotta
encourage him to get out.

Breathe, Tony.You got this, Tony.

Breathe, Tony.
Ugh.

While that Lamaze class
was very informative,

clearly, exploring prostates
in a dark basement

is not a prerequisite
for being a bisexual man.

But being able to explore
your own pleasure

without shame or stigma

is, like, essential
to sexual freedom.

So obviously, bi men are
the holy grail of boyfriends

because anyone who's comfortable
and confident

in their sexuality
is a total babe.

Duh!

As a society, we're finally
beginning to understand

that female sexuality exists
on a spectrum.

And men should also
have that option

because men are sexually
oppressed, too, randomly.

Bye, sluts![ Tink! ]

♪♪

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