All language subtitles for Santa Clarita Diet - 03x08 - Forever!.STRiFE.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

- You sure that's the right key?
- I got it, I got it.

I really hope this works
and I don't get arrested.

I have my interview with the MIT
admissions woman tomorrow,

and I really don't want her
to be my one phone call.

This will work. And you're gonna
crush that MIT interview.

If you don't wear the bow tie.

I'm absolutely wearing the bow tie.
It's collegiate.

Dress for the job you want.

Thought I put a detonator in here.

I think the bow tie is just
something you can control.

These are stressful times.

We're planting evidence to frame Bob.

My parents are detonating his remains
at a fracking site.

And so your mind takes the figurative
noose around your neck

and turns it into a silk ribbon
that can be loosened with a single tug.

Mine's a clip-on.

Speaking of stressful times, how are you

feeling about that guy you killed?

I mean, I know you said it was fine
because he was undead,

but still. He was a guy.

That you killed...

with a knife...

into his brain.

Actually, it hasn't been great.

I didn't sleep well last night.

I kept having this dream.

Replaying what happened
in my head over and over.

Yeah?

Yeah. I'm in the car...

racing over to Morgan's place.

And I burst through the door
just as he is attacking my parents.

So I reach for my knife,
to try and kill him...

and I can't find it.

And then suddenly I'm underwater
and I wake up, struggling to breathe.

That must be terrifying.

I once had a dream that Neil
deGrasse Tyson called me an asshole

and I had to sleep with
the light on for a week.

Abby, if you ever have
another nightmare like that,

you can always call me, you know.

Yeah. Thanks.

It's my mom.

She says they're headed home.

How'd it go?

She said medium.

Medium?

Mom?

Dad? Where are you guys?

We're in the kitchen!

So the C4 worked?

Oh, yeah.

And everybody's... Oh, fuck me!

Oh, so Thriller!

What happened to your arm?

You're probably wondering what happened
to your mother's arm.

- What's with Dad?
- I'll say! Look at it.

It was a big explosion.
His ears are still ringing.

But you were 500 feet away
when you hit the detonator, right?

We were juggling a lot
of details, you know?

Wires, distances. Some of Bob leaked out

onto your dad's favorite Pumas...

...which I told him
he shouldn't have worn,

but he says they're lucky.

I'm not sure I'm catching everything.

Maybe Abby can help you put
my arm back in the socket.

It's a two-man operation.

You wanna line it up or shove it in?

I'll do whatever you think
I'm saying right now.

Shove it is.

Wait.

This is what woozy boys do.

I'll line it up.

Push until you hear a pop.

On three.

One...

two...

Synced & corrected by reggielist
www.addic7ed.com

Three!

Ah...

Ah...

Ah...

Good as new! Thanks, guys.

Okay!

That was gross as fuck.

Well, it's 3:00 a.m. and I just
reattached a part of my mother.

So I'm gonna call it a night.

Thanks for your help earlier.

Of course, my phone's always on.

Yeah, good night, collaborators.

Um...

Remember when you told me...

Joel told me to try to keep an eye out
for Abby, and something came up.

What is it?

Don't tell her I told you this but...

I think she's been having trouble
dealing with killing that guy.

She's been having nightmares.

Oh, no. Poor Abby.

Thanks for letting us know,
and don't worry. We won't tell her.

What was that about?

I'll tell you later.

What do you think I just said?

The potato?

We've exposed her to so much violence.

Of course she has problems.

I know. I feel terrible.

Oh, I was talking to myself.

I didn't know you could hear me. Hi.

Hello.

Warm shower really helped.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know. She keeps
saying she's fine.

I wish she could go to therapy,

but there's so much
she can't talk about.

It isn't fair. Where do
murderers go for help?

I think a lot of them don't get
the help they need.

I know we try to keep her out of
what we do but she's so strong-willed.

We have to get at better protecting her.
Set firmer boundaries.

Yeah, like tomorrow.
Are we still kidnapping Ron?

Oh, shit. I'm gonna be so tired.

I hope we don't have to chase him.

We can't let Abby know what we're doing
or she'll wanna come with us.

Absolutely.

Although, if we did have to chase Ron,

it'd be nice to have a third person.

And she's so fast.

She'd have him face down and
hog tied in 15 seconds.

We wouldn't even have
to get out of the car.

- No.
- No.

We're not bringing her.

How are we capturing Ron anyway?

After the skatepark,
he's not going to trust us.

Maybe somehow we could
lure him to the house?

Yeah.

The serum.

What?

We can tell him if he's
gonna turn people,

at least let us give him a vial of serum

so his friends don't go feral.

That's a great idea.

We tie him up, drag him down
to the basement, and keep him there

until he understands he can't just
go around biting people.

Sounds like a lot of work.

Maybe we just shoot him in the mouth?

Ugh...

Yeah.

I didn't love it.

Hey, buddy.

Mama brought you breakfast.

Thin sliced. Just how you like it.

Can you say "Mama"? Mama.

Oh, man. That's not
our vegetable peeler, is it?

Of course not.
This is from my special drawer.

Wait, which one is your special drawer?

Well, that's on you.

I'm gonna run over to Jean's
and give her Bob's ears.

If you hear from Ron, let me know
and I'll come home right away.

Jean knows she can't
leave the house, right?

- That was part of your deal?
- Yeah.

She stays inside, eats what I bring her,

won't kill anyone. She promised.

So? I promised not to use
your hairbrush anymore. And then...

I never started using it again, but she
might not be as honest as me.

You know that Knights of Serbia group
that hunts people like Mom

and you didn't join
for some fucking reason?

Yes. To protect you. Also, language.

All right. Well, they couldn't
find someone for this area.

So now the head of the whole
effing organization

is flying out here to handle it
her effing self.

So we're all effed in the A.

That was worse.

That's like watching Scarface on TBS.

How do you know all this?

'Cause Tommy texted you and you left

your phone at the top of the stairs?

Shit! The Grand Knight Prior.

Tommy told me she became their leader
because she tracked and killed

the last known undead person
in North America.

That's not good.

Although, it is nice to see a woman
make it to the top

of a male-dominated field.

I agree. So, then,

Dad should be a Knight of Serbia,
I'll be his heir

and one day, I'll be the woman
running that shit.

You're not gonna be my heir.

That's right. In fact...

- we're setting boundaries.
- Starting now.

It's from Ron. He says he'll
be by at two to get the serum.

Give me that.

How're you gonna stop him
from turning people? Do you have a plan?

We're not discussing it.

This is a boundary moment.

'Cause I have some ideas.

- No.
- What are they?

No. Go to school.

Seamless.

She does not let up.

I know, but no matter how hard it is,
we have to hold the line.

We can be firm.

Remember that time
she wanted a guinea pig

and we said no and then
we got it for her?

Let's just do the first half of that.

Okay. I'm gonna go see Jean.

I'll get things ready here.
I was thinking...

Ron might object to elements
of the kidnapping process.

So I should wear some kind of padding

he can't bite through. Like towels.

Great. Just don't use the good towels.

Of course. I'll use... the blue ones?

- No.
- The green ones?

- No.
- The beach towels?

We just got those.

You know what? I'll just use rags.

Fine, just don't use the good rags.

Wow.

Hey Eric. Are you going
to that MIT thing today?

My interview? Yeah, why?

Can I get a ride?

To my interview? Yeah, why?

Because I also have an interview.

You know, just because I have a
shitty attitude doesn't mean I

can't create an algorithm for
coordinating recycling pickups

among the limited
neighborhood user base.

No, but statistically,
it does make it less likely.

Wait... So how come I've never seen you
in any of my math classes?

I take them at the college.

Huh...

And there you have it.

Hey.

Is Winter younger than me?

I think so. Why?

No goddamn reason. How are you?
Did you sleep okay last night?

You're very sweet. We're not checking in

with Abby every time we see her.

Got it. I'm not your dad.
Although, I am dad material.

You don't need to keep telling me that.

Also, let's not talk about parents.

I'm kind of annoyed with mine right now.

Okay, enough said. No more parent talk.

It's just they're planning
something weird

with Ron and they won't let me help,

which is a mistake, because they

literally blew themselves up last night.

Huh... We could cut out early
and see what they're up to?

That is, unless our plan didn't work

and Agent Rogers shows up to arrest me.

Oh, God. I summoned her.

Eric. Abby.

Agent Rogers.

I was just telling Principal Novak

that there's been a development
in our investigation.

Which means...

That even though you
gave one of the most

dreadful, self-incriminating interviews

I've ever been a part of...
you're no longer a suspect.

So you found out who actually
blew up the fracking site?

We have a suspect, but we're still

trying to put all the pieces together.

Right now, the guy's a little
scatterbrained.

I know that doesn't make sense to you,

but it cracked a lot of
people up this morning.

Anyway, your government thanks
you for your cooperation.

Here.

Have some Skittles.

- Oh, my God! We did it, it worked!
- I'm not going to jail!

I'm a free man! My future's unwritten!

I'm gonna eat all these at once.

I've never done that before.

That was a mistake.

But I have the freedom to make mistakes.

Listen. I'll deal with my parents today.

You've been around enough
of our craziness lately. Just...

take a day off. Call your mom,
tell her you're off the hook

and go get yourself into MIT.

That's probably for the best.

I need some time to rethink
my interview outfit anyways.

You tried on the bow tie, huh?

I look like a child weatherman.

All right, Jean.
Here's your pain medication.

Oh, yippee. Can I have it
with a bourbon back?

I have to say,
you are looking great today.

I love what you're doing with your hair.

Aw, thanks. I'm trying this new thing
where I wash it.

Hi, Jean. I brought your lunch.
Oh, hello.

Hi. I'm Amanda, I'm Jean's caregiver.
What'd you bring our girl today?

Oh, sorry. I can only
open it for clients.

It's a Meals on Wheels policy.

I'm also not allowed to date Jean.

I get it. I'm not allowed to wear
hoop earrings,

even though they add a lot of fun
to everyone's day.

Well...

I will see you next week, Jean.

Yeah, if I'm still alive.

You!

Oh, my God!

I feel incredible! Whoa.

Jesus Christ!

I know, isn't it great?

Oh, look at me. I haven't
moved like this in years.

Oh, Sheila, thank you.
Thank you for this gift.

And where's my Abby today?

Oh, my husband and I are trying

to keep her out of our undead antics.

Which isn't easy,
because she's disturbingly good

at planning, committing
and covering up crimes.

I'm gonna knit her a hat.

Are you ready for the first meal
of your new life?

Please.

It's ears.

Crunchy and salty.

The onion rings of the human body.

Mmm...

Right?

Whoa.

I'm tasting it, and
not just in my mouth.

That's the tingle, my friend.

Wow.

Well, I have a very busy day, so unless
there's anything else you need.

Oh, no, no. I'm good, you go ahead.
I've got lots to do.

I'm going to organize my kitchen,

do a little yoga.

And later I'm gonna invite my landlord
over for tea, so I can kill him.

What? No!

Jean, we had an agreement.

I bring you food,

you don't attack anyone,

and you don't put up a fuss
when we kill you in three months.

He's trying to evict me by saying
I'm not paying my rent

and he's cashing my checks every month.

I'm not going to put up with
his bullshit any longer!

And besides, he's got ears like LBJ.

Jean, no. You promised
you wouldn't kill anyone.

You're gonna have to work this out
calmly and civilly.

That's how you got these?

Calmly and civilly?

Hey.

I made you.

That'll work.

Shit!

Joel... was that you briefly blocking
the light of the peephole

and then saying "shit"?

Ron! You're early!

Three hours. It's inexcusable.

But I wanted to catch you off guard,
in case this was a trap.

Oh, I'm kidding.

Yeah, no. My friend Andre
wants me to turn him today

so I thought I'd stop by early
and pick up the serum.

If this is a bad time, I could
turn him first and come back.

No, no. Please, sit.

Okay.

I'll get the serum.

Make yourself comfortable.
Put your feet up, let your guard down.

I'll just be a minute.

Okay.

Hm...

Hey, Joel? Question.

Is there a Fanning sister named Ishmael?

It fits, but it sounds odd.

What are you doing?

Getting a turkey out of the oven.

Goddammit!

What are they doing?

It looks like they are capturing a man

who does not wish to be captured.

If Joel Hammond is searching
for the undead,

perhaps that man is undead.

We should tell Mr. Poplovic.

No, no, no. First, we must
be certain he is undead.

Mr. Poplovic does not tolerate mistakes.

Remember the sandwich incident?

I was so certain he wanted
mayonnaise and not mustard.

The man is not forgiving.

How long do you plan on keeping me
in this wretched underground dungeon?

- Forever!
- Gary.

He forced me to bite him, Joel.
It was humiliating.

Come on. Try it again, big man.
I can still spit.

Get over here!

I will fucking drench you!

If I'm going to be your prisoner,

I'd like to request a different dungeon.

You're not a prisoner,
and this isn't a dungeon.

We are hosting you
in our downstairs guest suite,

until we can convince you
that turning people is bad.

Forever!

Gary!

You break the rules,
you suffer the consequences, dude.

Plus, my mom was chained up down here
and she never complained.

Looks like she tried to chew her way
through the post.

That doesn't feel like
a five-star review.

Maybe she likes
the taste of wood, shithead.

- Oh!
- Abby.

What? That's what guards call prisoners.

He's not a prisoner.

- Forever!
- All right!

Gary, you're going in the linen closet.

And you, upstairs and do your homework.

Seriously? Another boundary moment?

You never would have
caught him without me.

Actually, I taught you how to tackle.

So, in a way, you never would have
caught him without me.

Wow, fragile masculinity much?

Upstairs. And take Gary with you.

Fine. Keep pushing me away.

But what you guys do affects me and

I've earned the right to be part of it.

Can we watch Moulin Rouge on the big TV?

We've seen it, like, eight times.

- It's good.
- Nothing is that good.

I like to dance to "La Marmalade".

Your potty mouth daughter
has a point, Joel.

Please, let's not.

Let me tell you a story.

When I was a kid, my parents also tried

to keep me out of the family business.

They owned a candy store.

- This is not gonna line up at all.
- Every day...

I wanted to go there and help them,
but they would say, "No, Ron.

Mr. Ruffins Chocolate Factory
and Amusement Emporium

is no place for a child."

- I was right.
- The point is...

the reason they excluded me
from their world,

that I might taste a piece of candy.

That was arbitrary to me as
your exclusion does to Abby.

We're keeping her away
from murder and mayhem.

Your parents should have been
investigated by the state.

No offense. I'm sure they were lovely.

All I know is...

excluding a child from
what you do as a family

can affect them
for the rest of their life.

I'm not saying all my problems
were caused by bad parenting

but five therapists
have said exactly that.

God, it is such a beautiful day.

You know what I feel like doing?

Sticking my head out the window
and biting the wind.

I mean, it seems crazy,

but a million dogs
can't be wrong. Right?

Somebody's in a good mood.

You know, I've been going through
some stuff but I got great news today

and now it's nothing but blue skies
with a side of fries.

Oh, watch out.

That's right. 'Cause here I come.

No, watch out. It's a red light.

Sorry!

You okay?

Yeah. Something rolled out
from under the seat.

It's a detonator.

What?

No.

That's part of the seat, so...
you can just put it back.

Eric, I'm applying to MIT. I know
what a detonator looks like.

Well...

why'd you bring a detonator with you?

Now shit makes sense.

Abby throwing your backpack away,

then trying to make me think that
was a part of some fucked-up game.

And this?

You and Abby blew up the fracking site.

Nuh-uh.

Jean... come and sit down.

No.

Come on, help me go through
your bank records.

If you really wanna nail your landlord
for ripping you off,

this is the way to do it.

Look at him down there, watering plants

like he's not a thief!

I get it.

When I turned, I wanted to kill
the first person I saw.

And I did, actually so...
that's not a great story.

I'm sorry. You know, people my age

usually have kids who look after them,

but, oh, no... my daughter
had to move to London

so she could send me shitty English

biscuits once a year on my birthday.

Okay. Bank records.

First thing I noticed is you buy
a fuck ton of slippers.

I give them as gifts.

Okay, no, I don't. I have a problem.

And also there's a lot of checks here
made out to cash.

Cash? Why would she do that?

- Who?
- Amanda.

She helps me fill out my checks.

I've been too sick to do it myself.

Jean... I don't think it's your landlord
who's scamming you.

Oh!

You're still here!

I forgot my sweater.

Or did you just come over for me
to sign more checks, Amanda?

Or should I call you "cash"?

What? Oh, Jean.

She gets a little bit confused
after she's had her pills.

Don't move.

I wanna get a good look at those
onion rings on the side of your head.

Jean...

We're being civil, remember?

Thief! I gave you slippers!

No, you didn't.

No, I didn't.

Amanda... we know

you took Jean's money. We have
the bank records to prove it. So...

you just need to reimburse her.

Actually...

I don't need to do anything.

Amanda, come on.
We know you made a mistake.

And mistakes are just opportunities
to learn how to do the right thing.

Thank you, Mary Poppins.

But you can save your bullshit.

And there is nothing you can do.

I always make the checks out to cash.

I use a fake ID.

There's no paper trail.

I'm really starting to not like you.

Oh, no! Does that mean
you're not gonna sign my yearbook?

Oh, good, Amanda.
Just keep talking like that.

These people don't do anything
with their money.

And nobody cares about them
enough to even notice.

Look at Jean. I mean, her
daughter hates her so much,

she moved all the way to London
just to get away from her.

- Oh!
- That's a terrible thing to say!

Uh-oh.

I've upset the volunteer
and the half-dead lady.

Actually...

Jean's completely dead, and...

so am I.

What?

I couldn't.

You know...

we don't gain weight.

Give me that.

You know, Jean...

Don't listen to Amanda when she says
those things about your daughter.

You could taste in her gallbladder
how bitter she was.

She wasn't wrong.

I did drive my daughter away.

- Jean, why would you say that?
- 'Cause it's true.

When she was young,

she loved to paint.
She wanted to be an artist.

She was so smart.
I wanted her to be a lawyer.

So she did the smart thing.
She became an artist.

Very far away from me.

But things are okay now.

And when she has the baby,
she's coming to visit.

They're better.

But I'll never get those years back.

A little advice about Abby?

Yeah?

If I were you...

I'd listen to her,

when she tells you who she is.

Thanks, Jean.

You know, this?

What's happening here?

This should be an ad
for Meals on Wheels.

I got your text.

You got Ron down in the
basement without me?

Yeah. He showed up early.
And it got a little crazy.

He ran down the street, and...
Don't be mad...

Abby took him down.

And then, I tripped on a sprinkler head
and fell on top of him.

A contribution which should not
be underestimated.

- So Abby is...
- She's fine.

And I made it very clear...

that in spite of her being skilled,
intelligent and fearless...

her help is not welcome.

How was your day?

Jean and I solved the mystery
of who's been stealing her money and...

Don't be mad.

We killed that person.

- You and Jean killed?
- I didn't get mad about your thing.

Ugh. Should have let you go first.

Jean made an interesting
point about Abby.

Maybe she's going to be
who she's going to be, and...

we should stop fighting her about it.

Yeah. Abby made a similar
point about Abby.

Maybe we need to rethink this.

Rethink what?

Can I guess? If I guess everything,
am I close?

Actually, we're talking about
including you more.

So I get to be a Knight of Serbia?

Hang on. We know this is what you
want, and that you're good at it.

But we also know
that it's taking a toll on you.

- I'm fine.
- You're not fine.

We know about the nightmares.

What?

One of my powers is that if I touch

your forehead while you're
sleeping, I can see your dreams.

Fucking Eric told you.

Yes.

But he's worried about you, like we are.

I know you don't wanna talk about it,
but killing that undead guy

was a traumatic experience. That's why
you're having those nightmares.

No, it's not a nightmare
about killing someone.

It's about feeling helpless.

In the dream, I am trying
to save you guys,

and I don't make it in time.

And that's what wakes me up at night.

I know you wanna protect me
by keeping me in the dark,

but it just makes me more afraid.

By the way, the fracking
explosion worked.

Everyone's off the hook.

What? Really? We did it!

- Eric's not going to jail?
- Yeah.

That means Trish isn't, either.
Thank God.

I know. It's great.

And you know why it worked?
Because we did it... together.

Love you, guys.

- Wow.
- I know.

I think she just told us who she is.

- You sure you want this?
- Fuck, yeah!

Agreeing to be a Knight of Serbia
is a big responsibility.

It has to be a calm and
measured decision.

- Fuck, yeah.
- We're a team now.

We have to check in with each other.

No going off and doing things
that might endanger all of us.

I won't. I promise.

And, this means you have to clean
your room more often.

You're overreaching.

Okay. Go ahead. Do the honors.

All right.

Close it up. And send it off.

I wonder how long it'll
take to hear back.

It's an ancient organization, honey.
Who knows how quickly they'll...

"Application received.

The Grand Knight Prior
will contact you shortly

for a home visit."

A home visit? They're coming here?

We have a head in the linen closet

and a chained-up guest in our basement.

I gotta scrub the freezer
and clean out all the Bobsicles.

Someone needs to clean my room.
It's disgusting.

I'm kidding, I'll do it.

Listen, this is important.

If the Grand Knight Prior is
coming here, we have to make sure

there is nothing in this house...

that gives us away.