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1
00:00:01,813 --> 00:00:05,450
When there's a poisonous
snake in our path, we freeze.
2
00:00:05,951 --> 00:00:08,731
When we smell smoke, we run.
3
00:00:09,073 --> 00:00:13,243
When faced with danger,
fear takes over, and we react,
4
00:00:13,277 --> 00:00:15,946
- desperate to feel safe.
- Jo!
5
00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:17,914
You left while I was in the shower.
6
00:00:17,949 --> 00:00:19,750
- What, are you avoiding me?
- Yes.
7
00:00:19,784 --> 00:00:21,118
Wait, not on purpose, no.
8
00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:22,986
Sorry. Hi. I just...
9
00:00:23,021 --> 00:00:24,554
[INHALES DEEPLY] Bailey's back
to being chief tomorrow,
10
00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:26,256
so I have one last shot
at her full attention
11
00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:27,758
about a new grant for my fellowship,
12
00:00:27,792 --> 00:00:29,793
and I just... I figured that
you would want to sleep in.
13
00:00:29,827 --> 00:00:31,928
- Yeah, but I was in the shower.
- Right.
14
00:00:31,963 --> 00:00:33,497
Jo, it's me.
15
00:00:33,531 --> 00:00:35,499
How long are we gonna do this?
16
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,334
Whatever happened with your
birth mom, you can tell me.
17
00:00:37,368 --> 00:00:38,468
Do you know what the funding limits are
18
00:00:38,503 --> 00:00:40,837
on an R90 or R15 grant?
19
00:00:40,872 --> 00:00:42,305
No. Jo...
20
00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:44,241
Okay, I got to figure that out
before Bailey gets here.
21
00:00:44,275 --> 00:00:45,909
I'm... sorry.
22
00:00:45,943 --> 00:00:48,530
- It's biological... primal.
- [SIGHS]
23
00:00:49,947 --> 00:00:52,369
But for someone who suffers from trauma,
24
00:00:52,884 --> 00:00:55,118
it's the everyday things...
25
00:00:55,153 --> 00:00:58,989
a song in a coffee shop,
the smell of rubbing alcohol..
26
00:00:59,023 --> 00:01:00,052
[BICYCLE BELL DINGS]
27
00:01:00,086 --> 00:01:03,460
...seemingly random, common things
28
00:01:03,494 --> 00:01:06,674
convincing your brain and
body you're in danger...
29
00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:07,798
[DOG BARKS]
30
00:01:07,832 --> 00:01:09,299
...and there is no way out.
31
00:01:11,703 --> 00:01:13,470
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- [BREATHES DEEPLY]
32
00:01:16,562 --> 00:01:17,708
[DOOR CREAKS LIGHTLY]
33
00:01:17,742 --> 00:01:19,342
Hi. What can I do for you?
34
00:01:22,246 --> 00:01:24,281
I'm Dr. Karev.
35
00:01:24,315 --> 00:01:26,349
Josephine. Jo.
36
00:01:26,384 --> 00:01:28,318
- Um...
- JOSH: Mom, I can't find my shoes!
37
00:01:28,352 --> 00:01:30,187
ALEXANDRA: They're
in the kitchen, and they smell!
38
00:01:30,221 --> 00:01:31,621
Who ate all the cereal?
39
00:01:31,656 --> 00:01:34,224
Honey, there's more in the pantry. Y...
40
00:01:34,258 --> 00:01:35,826
[DOG BARKING]
41
00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:39,062
Well, apparently, my kids forgot
that they were old enough
42
00:01:39,097 --> 00:01:41,732
to feed and clothe themselves today.
43
00:01:41,766 --> 00:01:43,504
You have kids.
44
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:47,337
Um, listen, if you're... if
you're selling magazines or...
45
00:01:47,371 --> 00:01:49,339
or religion, we're good on both, so...
46
00:01:49,373 --> 00:01:50,340
But thank you so much.
47
00:01:50,374 --> 00:01:52,346
No, no. E-Emerson Hospital.
48
00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:54,044
Oh, right, okay.
49
00:01:54,078 --> 00:01:56,313
Well, if you just go here,
and you take Willowbrook...
50
00:01:56,347 --> 00:01:57,681
- No, no, I-I was...
- ...and then you're gonna...
51
00:01:57,715 --> 00:01:59,937
I was born at Emerson Hospital,
52
00:02:00,752 --> 00:02:05,088
and soon after, I was left at
the fire station on 47th Street.
53
00:02:05,123 --> 00:02:07,224
I think that you're the person
who left me.
54
00:02:09,727 --> 00:02:11,695
I think you're my mother.
55
00:02:14,532 --> 00:02:20,530
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
56
00:02:20,605 --> 00:02:21,938
[ENGINES RUMBLING]
57
00:02:21,973 --> 00:02:23,406
[HORN HONKS]
58
00:02:23,441 --> 00:02:25,675
You have your chemistry report?
59
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,277
- [CELLPHONE CLICKING]
- It's a paper, Mom.
60
00:02:27,311 --> 00:02:28,445
Yeah, as long as it's done,
61
00:02:28,479 --> 00:02:30,380
you can call it whatever you like.
62
00:02:30,414 --> 00:02:33,016
Hey, um, I'm thinking about
Cal's Burgers tonight.
63
00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:34,351
Celebrate your last day of sabbatical.
64
00:02:34,385 --> 00:02:35,919
- [CELLPHONE BUTTONS CLICKING]
- Can't.
65
00:02:35,953 --> 00:02:37,854
- I have a thing tonight.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
66
00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:39,422
With who?
67
00:02:39,457 --> 00:02:41,124
[SIGHS] With Kelly.
68
00:02:41,159 --> 00:02:43,093
- There's a Kelly?
- Define "thing."
69
00:02:43,127 --> 00:02:45,295
We're just talking, is all.
70
00:02:45,329 --> 00:02:48,131
So, you can't come have burgers with us,
71
00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:50,901
because you're talking to Kelly.
72
00:02:50,935 --> 00:02:53,436
- At a thing.- Here's fine.
73
00:02:53,471 --> 00:02:54,542
[HORN HONKS]
74
00:02:54,576 --> 00:02:56,606
We're nowhere near the school. What?
75
00:02:56,641 --> 00:02:57,941
It's fine.
76
00:02:57,975 --> 00:02:59,609
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
77
00:02:59,644 --> 00:03:01,578
- Bye, love you!
- Good luck with your re...
78
00:03:01,612 --> 00:03:03,213
report!
79
00:03:03,247 --> 00:03:06,249
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
80
00:03:06,284 --> 00:03:07,784
It's a paper.
81
00:03:07,819 --> 00:03:09,186
I know.
82
00:03:11,948 --> 00:03:14,183
- Did he just put his arm around...
- He put his hand...
83
00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:15,742
WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Pannell to Plastics.
84
00:03:15,767 --> 00:03:18,168
Dr. Pannell to Plastics.
85
00:03:18,193 --> 00:03:19,994
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
86
00:03:20,198 --> 00:03:21,565
[TELEPHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE]
87
00:03:21,599 --> 00:03:23,967
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ECHOING]
88
00:03:24,001 --> 00:03:26,303
[ECHOING] Oh, my God! Sorry. Sorry.
89
00:03:26,337 --> 00:03:27,466
[GASPS]
90
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,573
Hey, you... you have a...
you have, um, a...
91
00:03:29,607 --> 00:03:31,274
[NORMAL VOICE]
A-A crap sense of direction
92
00:03:31,309 --> 00:03:33,243
and can't find my way to the ER.
93
00:03:33,277 --> 00:03:34,845
It's one floor down, and then, if...
94
00:03:34,879 --> 00:03:36,847
[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]
95
00:03:36,881 --> 00:03:38,452
You know, why don't I take you?
96
00:03:40,184 --> 00:03:42,185
You ever have just a garbage sort of day?
97
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:43,687
[SCOFFS]
98
00:03:43,721 --> 00:03:45,667
More times than I can count.
99
00:03:46,624 --> 00:03:48,491
This way.
100
00:03:48,526 --> 00:03:51,027
[TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]
101
00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:53,129
[ECHOING] You'll need stitches.
102
00:03:53,164 --> 00:03:55,832
I'll have a nurse bring you a blanket.
103
00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:57,596
[NORMAL VOICE] I feel so stupid.
104
00:03:58,636 --> 00:04:01,371
I was putting away dishes and just...
105
00:04:01,405 --> 00:04:03,273
smacked myself in the face
with the cabinet.
106
00:04:03,307 --> 00:04:04,774
Such an idiot.
107
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,309
[ECHOING] That cut looks pretty deep,
108
00:04:06,344 --> 00:04:08,879
so Dr. Qadri will have to numb
it before we can clean it.
109
00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:10,447
When did this happen?
110
00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:12,349
[NORMAL VOICE] Last night.
111
00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:14,784
I thought it would be fine,
but it just keeps bleeding.
112
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,353
[ECHOING] Dr. Qadri
and I can help with that.
113
00:04:16,387 --> 00:04:18,955
I'm just gonna put a little
Betadine around the area,
114
00:04:18,990 --> 00:04:20,390
and you're just gonna feel
a little stick and a burn.
115
00:04:20,424 --> 00:04:21,458
Are you hurting anywhere else?
116
00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:23,560
DELUCA: Hey. Dr. Bailey's
been looking for you...
117
00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:25,795
- something about a grant deadline?
- Oh, okay.
118
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,664
Um, I'm gonna be right...
119
00:04:27,698 --> 00:04:32,335
[BREATHING QUICKLY]
120
00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:34,204
[HEARTBEAT PULSING]
121
00:04:36,908 --> 00:04:40,410
[NORMAL VOICE]
My patient here, Abby, she...
122
00:04:40,444 --> 00:04:43,179
hit her face on a cabinet.
123
00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:44,547
So if you could give us
some room, please,
124
00:04:44,582 --> 00:04:45,916
so I can suture her facial lac?
125
00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:48,351
And tell Dr. Bailey
that I will be a while.
126
00:04:48,386 --> 00:04:50,353
Thank you.
127
00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:57,027
Hey, why don't you sit up, okay?
128
00:04:57,061 --> 00:04:58,561
We'll sit you up. Okay.
129
00:04:58,596 --> 00:05:00,363
[WHIMPERS]
130
00:05:00,398 --> 00:05:01,598
Is your belly hurting?
131
00:05:01,632 --> 00:05:04,334
No, it's just the cheek.
132
00:05:04,368 --> 00:05:07,570
You can fix it now, right? So I can go.
133
00:05:07,605 --> 00:05:11,274
Dr. Qadri, um, can you go
get me some 4-0 MONOCRYL,
134
00:05:11,309 --> 00:05:13,343
and can we please close those?
135
00:05:13,377 --> 00:05:14,611
Thank you.
136
00:05:14,645 --> 00:05:15,679
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
137
00:05:21,786 --> 00:05:24,641
[QUIETLY] Abby, it's just you and me.
138
00:05:25,756 --> 00:05:27,557
You're hurt.
139
00:05:27,591 --> 00:05:29,225
I am here to help.
140
00:05:31,495 --> 00:05:34,568
[SHUDDERING BREATHING]
141
00:05:35,833 --> 00:05:37,734
- Okay.
- [WHISPERING] Okay.
142
00:05:37,768 --> 00:05:39,269
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
143
00:05:41,138 --> 00:05:43,073
[SNIFFLES]
144
00:05:53,317 --> 00:05:54,951
Okay. Okay.
145
00:05:56,787 --> 00:05:59,756
[INHALES SHARPLY, WHIMPERS]
146
00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:03,493
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
147
00:06:03,527 --> 00:06:05,261
I got you, Abby.
148
00:06:05,296 --> 00:06:06,963
I'm not going anywhere.
149
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:11,434
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
150
00:06:11,469 --> 00:06:14,304
[DOOR CREAKING]
151
00:06:14,338 --> 00:06:16,239
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
152
00:06:16,273 --> 00:06:17,907
[QUIETLY] Look, I don't know
what you're after,
153
00:06:17,942 --> 00:06:18,942
but you can't be here.
154
00:06:18,976 --> 00:06:20,310
I'm not after anything.
155
00:06:20,344 --> 00:06:21,907
I just want to talk.
156
00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:24,414
You cannot be here.
157
00:06:24,448 --> 00:06:26,349
- [DOG BARKS]
- DANIEL: Chip! [CLAPS HANDS]
158
00:06:26,384 --> 00:06:28,318
Hey, Chip. Come here.
159
00:06:28,352 --> 00:06:29,786
Hey, buddy. [CHUCKLES]
160
00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:32,355
I'll, uh, put him out back
and drop the kids at school.
161
00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:34,324
- [CHIP GROANS]
- Is everything okay?
162
00:06:34,358 --> 00:06:35,558
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was just saying
163
00:06:35,593 --> 00:06:38,528
that we're already familiar
with the Book of Mormon, so...
164
00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:40,864
Ah, saw the original cast. Loved it.
165
00:06:40,898 --> 00:06:44,034
Not a big fan of the book,
though, so... we're all set.
166
00:06:44,068 --> 00:06:45,602
[CHIP BARKS]
167
00:06:45,636 --> 00:06:47,637
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
168
00:06:52,176 --> 00:06:53,343
[CLEARS THROAT]
169
00:06:53,377 --> 00:06:54,844
[DOOR CLOSES]
170
00:06:54,879 --> 00:06:58,214
There's a diner... a few miles up.
171
00:06:58,249 --> 00:06:59,682
Weird green roof?
172
00:06:59,717 --> 00:07:01,238
Ira's?
173
00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:04,154
One conversation.
174
00:07:04,188 --> 00:07:06,122
And you will never hear from me again.
175
00:07:06,157 --> 00:07:10,660
♪
176
00:07:10,694 --> 00:07:12,128
[DOOR CREAKING]
177
00:07:12,163 --> 00:07:13,363
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
178
00:07:13,397 --> 00:07:15,432
♪
179
00:07:18,142 --> 00:07:20,133
[HORN HONKING]
180
00:07:20,134 --> 00:07:21,868
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
181
00:07:21,902 --> 00:07:23,636
[LIQUID POURING]
182
00:07:23,671 --> 00:07:25,538
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
183
00:07:25,573 --> 00:07:27,173
[CLOCK TICKING]
184
00:07:27,208 --> 00:07:28,441
[BELL JINGLES]
185
00:07:28,476 --> 00:07:29,642
[ECHOING] Just one.
186
00:07:29,677 --> 00:07:30,710
[ECHOING] Oh, right this way.
187
00:07:30,745 --> 00:07:33,880
[TICKING CLOCK ECHOES]
188
00:07:33,914 --> 00:07:35,782
[BELL JINGLES]
189
00:07:35,816 --> 00:07:37,684
[TICKING QUICKENS]
190
00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,019
[SILVERWARE CLATTERS LIGHTLY]
191
00:07:39,053 --> 00:07:41,388
[TICKING QUICKENS]
192
00:07:41,422 --> 00:07:42,522
[BELL JINGLES]
193
00:07:42,556 --> 00:07:45,525
[TICKING STOPS]
194
00:07:45,559 --> 00:07:48,128
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
195
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,834
MAN: Can I get you a warm-up?
196
00:07:57,571 --> 00:08:00,173
[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE]
197
00:08:00,207 --> 00:08:01,608
[SIGHS]
198
00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:11,484
The coffee here sucks.
199
00:08:11,519 --> 00:08:12,886
I've noticed.
200
00:08:14,549 --> 00:08:16,249
I'm late for work. Um...
201
00:08:19,887 --> 00:08:21,722
I work in the mayor's office.
202
00:08:21,756 --> 00:08:24,324
Try to create jobs
for under-served communities.
203
00:08:24,359 --> 00:08:27,327
[DINNERWARE CLATTERING LIGHTLY]
204
00:08:27,362 --> 00:08:28,862
I'm sorry. You knocked on my door.
205
00:08:28,896 --> 00:08:30,297
- I don't...
- You have a house...
206
00:08:30,331 --> 00:08:32,499
a really beautiful house.
207
00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:33,622
Thank you...?
208
00:08:33,657 --> 00:08:36,703
And kids and a husband and a dog
209
00:08:36,738 --> 00:08:38,705
and crown frickin' moldings.
210
00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:39,889
Do you need money?
If this is about money...
211
00:08:39,924 --> 00:08:41,308
I don't need your damn money.
212
00:08:45,613 --> 00:08:47,093
Thank you.
213
00:08:48,015 --> 00:08:49,816
Look, I'm not quite sure
what you expected...
214
00:08:49,851 --> 00:08:53,854
In my head, you worked at
a diner half as nice as this.
215
00:08:53,888 --> 00:08:55,555
And you didn't graduate high school,
216
00:08:55,590 --> 00:08:57,090
or maybe you did but a year or two late
217
00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:59,593
'cause they don't let pregnant
girls finish high school.
218
00:08:59,627 --> 00:09:02,429
And you scraped by somehow on...
219
00:09:02,463 --> 00:09:04,264
hard work and the kindness of strangers,
220
00:09:04,298 --> 00:09:05,732
but you had no one.
221
00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:07,100
You had nothing.
222
00:09:07,135 --> 00:09:09,282
That would make it okay that I left you?
223
00:09:11,939 --> 00:09:14,941
I wanted you to have a better
life than I could give you...
224
00:09:14,976 --> 00:09:17,444
Now, that part I heard in my head.
225
00:09:17,478 --> 00:09:19,846
I think it came from a made-for-TV movie.
226
00:09:19,881 --> 00:09:20,881
No, I-I-I realized it
227
00:09:20,915 --> 00:09:23,850
the minute it came out
of my mouth, yes, um...
228
00:09:25,753 --> 00:09:27,220
But it's true.
229
00:09:28,956 --> 00:09:30,791
I really thought that
you'd be better off...
230
00:09:30,825 --> 00:09:31,892
What are their names?
231
00:09:31,926 --> 00:09:33,794
- I'm sorry?
- Your kids.
232
00:09:33,828 --> 00:09:37,030
My brother and sister eating
cereal in your perfect kitchen.
233
00:09:37,064 --> 00:09:38,532
What are their names?
234
00:09:38,566 --> 00:09:41,368
Alexandra is a senior in high school,
235
00:09:41,402 --> 00:09:44,204
and, uh, Josh is in 10th.
236
00:09:45,807 --> 00:09:49,776
And your husband, the,
what, the... accountant?
237
00:09:49,811 --> 00:09:51,545
Lawyer.
238
00:09:51,579 --> 00:09:53,547
Is he my father?
239
00:09:53,581 --> 00:09:54,981
No.
240
00:09:55,016 --> 00:09:57,417
No, he is nothing like... no.
241
00:09:57,452 --> 00:09:59,152
No, I met my husband in grad school.
242
00:09:59,187 --> 00:10:00,887
Um...
243
00:10:00,922 --> 00:10:02,062
His name is Daniel.
244
00:10:02,097 --> 00:10:03,253
Daniel.
245
00:10:04,025 --> 00:10:06,460
That's nice.
246
00:10:06,494 --> 00:10:07,961
That's really nice.
247
00:10:07,995 --> 00:10:10,464
You know, I-I... I appreciate a girl
248
00:10:10,498 --> 00:10:11,582
with fire in her belly, but...
249
00:10:11,616 --> 00:10:14,568
I didn't have a better life.
250
00:10:14,602 --> 00:10:17,100
I wasn't better off.
251
00:10:17,972 --> 00:10:19,773
No one found me adoring parents
252
00:10:19,807 --> 00:10:22,576
who were dying for a newborn
of their own to love.
253
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,845
I lived in foster homes so bad,
254
00:10:24,879 --> 00:10:27,247
it was better to live in my car.
255
00:10:27,281 --> 00:10:29,850
And when a man finally told me
that he loved me,
256
00:10:29,884 --> 00:10:31,698
I believed him,
257
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,911
even when he beat the crap out
of me so bad I couldn't see.
258
00:10:37,558 --> 00:10:39,860
So whatever life you had,
259
00:10:39,894 --> 00:10:42,963
tell me it wasn't better than mine.
260
00:10:42,997 --> 00:10:45,999
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
261
00:10:49,036 --> 00:10:50,404
I should go.
262
00:10:50,439 --> 00:10:52,806
At least you're consistent.
[CLEARS THROAT]
263
00:10:53,341 --> 00:10:55,342
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
264
00:10:59,013 --> 00:11:00,847
Did you honestly come here to punish me?
265
00:11:00,882 --> 00:11:02,082
Consider it done.
266
00:11:02,116 --> 00:11:04,050
I came because I don't know
anything about where I'm from,
267
00:11:04,085 --> 00:11:06,107
and I want to know.
268
00:11:08,422 --> 00:11:11,324
[DINNERWARE CLINKING]
269
00:11:16,864 --> 00:11:18,453
Um...
270
00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:20,914
My, um...
271
00:11:21,903 --> 00:11:23,637
father's side is pure Irish.
272
00:11:23,671 --> 00:11:26,573
My... My... My mother
is Russian Jew and Italian.
273
00:11:26,607 --> 00:11:28,475
I got all that from spitting in a tube.
274
00:11:28,509 --> 00:11:30,544
My mother's parents...
275
00:11:30,578 --> 00:11:31,978
died when she was young...
276
00:11:32,013 --> 00:11:33,246
heart disease and cancer.
277
00:11:33,281 --> 00:11:35,382
So I'm afraid that's in the mix.
278
00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:38,718
Uh, there's no history of
mental illness that I'm aware...
279
00:11:38,753 --> 00:11:41,539
- That's not what I'm asking.
- Then what do you want to know?
280
00:11:41,574 --> 00:11:43,561
Something I can't get
from spitting in a tube!
281
00:11:45,126 --> 00:11:46,726
Ah.
282
00:11:46,761 --> 00:11:49,996
I, um... I grew up on a farm in Kansas.
283
00:11:50,031 --> 00:11:52,432
My childhood is a blur of chickens
284
00:11:52,466 --> 00:11:54,434
and singing songs out in the field
285
00:11:54,468 --> 00:11:55,869
when I should've been helping my mother.
286
00:11:55,903 --> 00:11:58,338
I was spelling bee champion
for four years in a row.
287
00:11:58,372 --> 00:12:00,607
I love the smell of rosemary.
I'm terrible at math.
288
00:12:00,641 --> 00:12:02,008
Does that help?
Does that help you at all?
289
00:12:02,043 --> 00:12:04,444
- Do you know who you are now?
- Forget it.
290
00:12:04,478 --> 00:12:07,180
Just tell me who my father is,
and I will try and find him.
291
00:12:07,214 --> 00:12:09,182
You can't.
292
00:12:09,216 --> 00:12:10,319
He's dead.
293
00:12:10,353 --> 00:12:11,952
Geez, lady.
294
00:12:11,986 --> 00:12:13,920
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
295
00:12:13,955 --> 00:12:16,523
You don't want to, I don't know,
soften it a little?
296
00:12:16,557 --> 00:12:19,092
Well, I'm sorry, but that
son of a bitch who hurt me
297
00:12:19,126 --> 00:12:22,596
more than any other
human being ever has...
298
00:12:22,630 --> 00:12:25,198
died in a motorcycle accident
10 years ago.
299
00:12:25,232 --> 00:12:26,366
Not the way that I would've hoped.
300
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,935
I would've preferred that
he had been eaten by fire ants
301
00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:30,370
or pulled apart limb from limb, but...
302
00:12:30,404 --> 00:12:32,372
Wow.
303
00:12:32,406 --> 00:12:35,071
You're just a monster, huh?
304
00:12:35,977 --> 00:12:36,977
[CLEARS THROAT]
305
00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:39,112
- Please sit down.
- Abandoning me wasn't enough,
306
00:12:39,146 --> 00:12:41,019
you just have to spread the pain
around a little bit?
307
00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:42,075
Sit down.
308
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,488
That's my father that
you're talking about.
309
00:12:43,522 --> 00:12:45,885
- No, it's not. He hurt me...
- I'm so sorry
310
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,154
that your childhood sweetheart
didn't pan out.
311
00:12:48,189 --> 00:12:50,128
- So sorry.
- He hurt me.
312
00:12:55,529 --> 00:12:58,198
[QUIETLY] Please sit down, okay?
313
00:13:00,201 --> 00:13:01,501
Please sit down.
314
00:13:01,535 --> 00:13:03,637
[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE IN DISTANCE]
315
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:12,946
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
316
00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:14,381
He was a TA...
317
00:13:17,652 --> 00:13:21,087
...when I was a freshman in undergrad.
318
00:13:21,122 --> 00:13:23,957
He chased after me for weeks for a date.
319
00:13:23,991 --> 00:13:27,127
He, um, sent me flowers and proclamations
320
00:13:27,161 --> 00:13:28,995
until, finally, I said yes.
321
00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:30,130
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
322
00:13:30,164 --> 00:13:33,600
I said... I said yes to that date.
323
00:13:33,634 --> 00:13:36,936
I said... yes to going...
324
00:13:36,971 --> 00:13:39,539
to Braden's Point to watch the sunset.
325
00:13:39,573 --> 00:13:41,207
And...
326
00:13:41,242 --> 00:13:42,942
[INHALES DEEPLY]
327
00:13:45,146 --> 00:13:48,815
Then he started kissing me
and touching me.
328
00:13:48,849 --> 00:13:50,116
And I said no.
329
00:13:50,151 --> 00:13:51,851
And I continued to say no.
330
00:13:51,886 --> 00:13:53,219
And I fought him.
331
00:13:53,254 --> 00:13:54,521
I fought as hard as I could,
332
00:13:54,555 --> 00:13:56,723
but he would not take no for an answer.
333
00:13:56,757 --> 00:13:58,458
So...
334
00:13:58,492 --> 00:14:01,194
nine months later, I had a baby.
335
00:14:01,228 --> 00:14:03,659
I had you, and then...
336
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,499
five days later, I didn't.
337
00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:08,168
[SNIFFLES]
338
00:14:08,202 --> 00:14:11,171
♪
339
00:14:11,173 --> 00:14:13,352
♪
340
00:14:17,554 --> 00:14:18,888
[RUSTLING CLOTHES ECHO]
341
00:14:18,922 --> 00:14:26,279
♪
342
00:14:26,306 --> 00:14:27,540
[ECHOING] JO: Qadri, let's get her
343
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:28,914
IM Toradol for the pain
344
00:14:28,942 --> 00:14:30,743
and keep her NPO for now.
345
00:14:30,777 --> 00:14:32,578
DAHLIA: Is there someone
that we can call?
346
00:14:32,612 --> 00:14:35,614
Family member or a friend?
347
00:14:35,649 --> 00:14:38,484
[NORMAL VOICE] My husband's in
Portland on a business trip.
348
00:14:38,518 --> 00:14:41,587
I don't want to... bother him.
349
00:14:41,621 --> 00:14:42,721
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- [GASPS]
350
00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:44,290
It's okay. I called her here to help.
351
00:14:44,324 --> 00:14:45,758
- Hi.
- Hi.
352
00:14:45,792 --> 00:14:46,929
Why do I need another doctor?
353
00:14:46,964 --> 00:14:48,227
- Can't I just keep you two?
- [DOOR CLOSES]
354
00:14:48,261 --> 00:14:49,795
TEDDY: It's Abby, right? Hi.
355
00:14:49,829 --> 00:14:52,831
Dr. Karev and Dr. Qadri
will still be your doctors,
356
00:14:52,866 --> 00:14:54,967
but would it be okay if I helped?
357
00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:57,937
May I do an ultrasound just to
check for internal injuries?
358
00:14:57,971 --> 00:14:59,805
- Okay. Great.
- All right, here we go.
359
00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:01,473
Let's lie you back.
360
00:15:01,508 --> 00:15:02,608
I got you.
361
00:15:02,642 --> 00:15:03,609
[WHIMPERS]
- That's it, I got you.
362
00:15:03,643 --> 00:15:05,130
- Okay, you're almost there.
- [INHALES SHARPLY]
363
00:15:05,164 --> 00:15:06,257
- Okay.
- All right.
364
00:15:06,291 --> 00:15:07,313
Okay.
365
00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:09,381
Just gonna open your robe.
366
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,454
ABBY: [BREATHING SHAKILY]
367
00:15:15,488 --> 00:15:17,289
Now a little gel.
368
00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:19,291
[GEL SQUELCHING]
369
00:15:21,127 --> 00:15:23,596
All right, you'll feel
just a little pressure.
370
00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:25,831
- There we go. Good job.
- [HEARTBEAT PULSES]
371
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,838
All right, Abby, you do have
a tear in your diaphragm,
372
00:15:32,872 --> 00:15:35,341
and it's caused your abdominal organs
373
00:15:35,375 --> 00:15:37,109
to move up into your chest.
374
00:15:37,143 --> 00:15:39,144
- [KEYBOARD CLICKS]
- You're gonna need a surgery.
375
00:15:39,179 --> 00:15:40,278
Fine.
376
00:15:40,312 --> 00:15:42,681
Whatever you need to do so I can go home.
377
00:15:42,716 --> 00:15:44,950
All right, Dr. Karev, can I talk
to you outside for a minute?
378
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:47,853
- No, no, can you stay?
- I'll just be right outside.
379
00:15:47,887 --> 00:15:49,272
I won't be more than a couple minutes...
380
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:50,752
Y-You can't... You can't leave, please?
381
00:15:50,786 --> 00:15:52,691
Just do the surgery,
and then I can go home,
382
00:15:52,726 --> 00:15:54,860
- and then it'll be over.
- All right.
383
00:15:54,894 --> 00:15:56,981
We'll let them know to prep the OR.
384
00:15:58,231 --> 00:15:59,231
[CLEARS THROAT SOFTLY]
385
00:15:59,266 --> 00:16:00,879
Qadri, come with me. Thanks.
386
00:16:00,913 --> 00:16:02,401
WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Yates to Pediatrics.
387
00:16:02,435 --> 00:16:05,170
Dr. Yates to Pediatrics.
388
00:16:05,205 --> 00:16:08,641
Book an OR, but do not let
the nurses or anyone else
389
00:16:08,675 --> 00:16:10,709
do an antibiotic prep.
390
00:16:10,744 --> 00:16:12,096
So we're not operating on her?
391
00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:13,379
Abby's wounds are consistent
392
00:16:13,413 --> 00:16:14,747
with someone who's been
sexually assaulted,
393
00:16:14,781 --> 00:16:15,848
and if that's true,
394
00:16:15,882 --> 00:16:18,984
when the nurses prep her
with an antibiotic solution,
395
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,186
evidence will be erased.
396
00:16:21,221 --> 00:16:22,391
So we wait.
397
00:16:22,425 --> 00:16:24,356
We wait and give Abby the chance to talk
398
00:16:24,391 --> 00:16:26,859
without taking more of the
agency than she's already lost.
399
00:16:26,893 --> 00:16:29,096
Go book the OR and come straight back.
400
00:16:31,698 --> 00:16:34,133
[SIGHS SHAKILY, INHALES DEEPLY]
401
00:16:34,968 --> 00:16:36,902
Okay.
402
00:16:37,771 --> 00:16:38,804
[DOOR CLOSES]
403
00:16:38,838 --> 00:16:42,485
Hey. Are you sure there isn't
someone we can call?
404
00:16:44,644 --> 00:16:46,545
Can we ask you how you got hurt?
405
00:16:47,947 --> 00:16:49,615
Does it matter?
406
00:16:49,649 --> 00:16:50,916
You said you can fix it, right?
407
00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:52,117
Abby, I want you to know
408
00:16:52,152 --> 00:16:54,019
that you don't have to tell us anything.
409
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:56,689
We can bring a counselor down
for you to talk to.
410
00:16:56,723 --> 00:16:59,191
No. No more doctors.
411
00:16:59,225 --> 00:17:01,593
I have enough doctors,
and I don't need a shrink.
412
00:17:01,628 --> 00:17:05,431
I just... need my stomach
to stop hurting is all.
413
00:17:05,465 --> 00:17:06,732
Okay.
414
00:17:08,001 --> 00:17:10,035
How did you get that?
415
00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:12,805
My neighbor's kids like to play
street hockey,
416
00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:14,066
and I'm crap at it.
417
00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,742
- I don't think that's true.
- Dr. Karev.
418
00:17:16,776 --> 00:17:18,610
[SIGHS]
419
00:17:18,645 --> 00:17:21,046
You keep looking at each other,
but I'm right here,
420
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:23,982
so one of you say whatever the hell it is
421
00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:25,551
you're trying so hard not to say.
422
00:17:25,585 --> 00:17:26,819
- Abby...
- I'm worried your husband hurt you,
423
00:17:26,853 --> 00:17:28,053
and from the marks on your legs,
424
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:29,822
possibly sexually assaulted you.
425
00:17:29,856 --> 00:17:31,323
Dr. Karev, hallway. Now.
426
00:17:31,358 --> 00:17:34,259
Jack would never.
He's never raised his voice.
427
00:17:34,294 --> 00:17:35,761
- He's calm.
- Then someone else did...
428
00:17:35,795 --> 00:17:38,163
[STRAINING] Isn't the OR ready by now?
429
00:17:38,198 --> 00:17:39,331
'Cause this hurts like a...
430
00:17:39,366 --> 00:17:40,799
Abby, if we take you to the OR,
431
00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:42,217
we have to make you sterile,
432
00:17:42,252 --> 00:17:43,936
so everything that happened
to you, all the evidence,
433
00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:45,504
it all goes away.
434
00:17:45,538 --> 00:17:47,142
You can still report it.
435
00:17:47,177 --> 00:17:50,275
I'm not reporting anything.
There's nothing to report.
436
00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,978
That is your choice.
It is all your choice.
437
00:17:53,012 --> 00:17:55,247
But if something happened... if it did...
438
00:17:55,281 --> 00:17:57,683
we could gather the evidence
and seal it away
439
00:17:57,717 --> 00:18:00,062
until you are ready
to do something about it.
440
00:18:02,856 --> 00:18:06,024
[VOICE BREAKING]
We all know if I do that kit...
441
00:18:06,059 --> 00:18:08,794
it ends up in the back
of some police station,
442
00:18:08,828 --> 00:18:11,130
ignored for years,
443
00:18:11,164 --> 00:18:14,133
while I sit there wondering
when the bomb will go off,
444
00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:17,202
waiting to see if a jury
of my peers will believe...
445
00:18:17,227 --> 00:18:19,772
[BREATHING QUICKLY]
446
00:18:19,806 --> 00:18:21,140
...believe a woman
447
00:18:21,174 --> 00:18:24,128
who wore a skirt a few inches too short,
448
00:18:24,844 --> 00:18:27,613
who had a few cocktails too many
at a bar last night
449
00:18:27,647 --> 00:18:29,815
after having a fight
450
00:18:29,849 --> 00:18:33,819
about laundry with her husband.
451
00:18:33,853 --> 00:18:34,953
[CRYING]
452
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:38,357
And you know the tequila I drank
will make it my fault,
453
00:18:38,391 --> 00:18:40,893
and whoever did this to me,
whatever he drank...
454
00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:43,061
that'll be his excuse!
455
00:18:43,096 --> 00:18:45,497
[CRYING, WHEEZING]
456
00:18:48,835 --> 00:18:52,971
Is your kit gonna convince them
I wasn't flirting at the bar?
457
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:56,875
If I give them my story and my underwear,
458
00:18:56,910 --> 00:19:00,179
will it prove to them...
or to my husband...
459
00:19:00,213 --> 00:19:03,048
that I didn't cheat on him
and make up some story
460
00:19:03,082 --> 00:19:05,050
just to save my own ass?
461
00:19:05,084 --> 00:19:07,052
- [QUIETLY] Okay...
- [RESPIRATOR HISSING]
462
00:19:07,086 --> 00:19:08,987
Will your kit do that?!
463
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:10,322
[HYPERVENTILATING]
464
00:19:10,356 --> 00:19:13,225
O... All... All right, deep breath.
465
00:19:13,259 --> 00:19:15,027
That's it.
466
00:19:15,061 --> 00:19:17,223
Slow deep breath.
467
00:19:18,064 --> 00:19:21,099
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
468
00:19:21,134 --> 00:19:23,669
My ex-husband, he hurt me.
469
00:19:23,703 --> 00:19:25,904
Not in the way that you
were hurt, but he hit me...
470
00:19:25,939 --> 00:19:28,006
he hurt me, for years.
471
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:31,677
And I was so, so terrified.
472
00:19:31,711 --> 00:19:33,846
And so convinced that
no one would believe me,
473
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,515
and I was so, so alone...
474
00:19:36,549 --> 00:19:39,184
I never had the chance or the choice
475
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,086
to hold him responsible.
476
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,241
[WHISPERING] I can't imagine
477
00:19:42,276 --> 00:19:43,622
how you are feeling right now.
478
00:19:43,656 --> 00:19:45,524
I can't.
479
00:19:45,558 --> 00:19:49,294
But, one day, you might feel differently.
480
00:19:49,329 --> 00:19:50,929
You might want justice,
481
00:19:50,964 --> 00:19:55,594
and I want you to have
everything you need to do that.
482
00:19:59,639 --> 00:20:00,806
[RESPIRATOR HISSING]
483
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:04,076
[SNIFFLES, CRYING]
484
00:20:04,110 --> 00:20:07,546
My husband... he can never know.
485
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:09,081
He won't have to.
486
00:20:13,653 --> 00:20:15,120
[CRYING]
487
00:20:15,154 --> 00:20:16,989
Do it.
488
00:20:17,023 --> 00:20:19,391
Just do the damn kit.
489
00:20:19,425 --> 00:20:20,726
Okay. Okay.
490
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:21,927
[SNIFFLES, SIGHS]
491
00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:23,095
That's it. There you go.
492
00:20:23,129 --> 00:20:24,129
There you go.
493
00:20:24,163 --> 00:20:27,399
♪ Pull me ♪
494
00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:30,102
[CRYING]
495
00:20:30,136 --> 00:20:33,105
♪ Under ♪
496
00:20:33,139 --> 00:20:34,506
Are you ready?
497
00:20:34,541 --> 00:20:36,008
♪
498
00:20:36,042 --> 00:20:37,576
You have to say it.
499
00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:38,977
- It's the law.
- ♪ Feels like ♪
500
00:20:39,012 --> 00:20:41,179
You say yes, we go to the next step.
501
00:20:41,214 --> 00:20:43,950
You say no at any time, we stop.
502
00:20:43,985 --> 00:20:45,584
♪ Thunder ♪
503
00:20:45,618 --> 00:20:47,019
- Okay.
- Okay.
504
00:20:47,053 --> 00:20:49,821
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
505
00:20:49,856 --> 00:20:50,589
Yes.
506
00:20:50,623 --> 00:20:53,025
♪ Here, there ♪
507
00:20:53,059 --> 00:20:54,526
♪
508
00:20:54,561 --> 00:20:57,029
♪ Everywhere ♪
509
00:20:57,063 --> 00:20:59,031
- ♪ Ghosts hide ♪
- Are you ready?
510
00:20:59,065 --> 00:21:01,133
Yes.
511
00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:02,834
♪ In my head ♪
512
00:21:02,869 --> 00:21:03,936
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
513
00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:07,839
♪ We fall ♪
514
00:21:07,874 --> 00:21:09,274
♪ Up above ♪
515
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:12,711
♪ So long ♪
516
00:21:12,745 --> 00:21:16,014
♪ As I ♪
517
00:21:16,049 --> 00:21:19,184
♪ Don't sleep ♪
518
00:21:19,218 --> 00:21:22,387
♪
519
00:21:22,422 --> 00:21:24,323
♪ Somebody ♪
520
00:21:24,357 --> 00:21:26,358
Are you ready?
521
00:21:26,392 --> 00:21:27,626
Yes.
522
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:29,628
♪
523
00:21:29,662 --> 00:21:33,198
♪ Save me ♪
524
00:21:33,232 --> 00:21:36,301
♪
525
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:40,505
- ♪ It doesn't matter ♪
- [CLIPPERS SNIP]
526
00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:42,207
Are you ready?
527
00:21:42,241 --> 00:21:46,812
- ♪ What the craving is ♪
- Yes.
528
00:21:46,846 --> 00:21:49,648
[WHIMPERS]
529
00:21:49,682 --> 00:21:53,752
♪ Here, there ♪
530
00:21:53,786 --> 00:21:56,088
♪ Everywhere ♪
531
00:21:56,122 --> 00:21:58,323
♪ Ghosts hide ♪
532
00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:00,759
Are you ready?
533
00:22:00,793 --> 00:22:03,061
- Yes.
- ♪ In my head ♪
534
00:22:03,096 --> 00:22:05,664
- Yes.
- ♪ We fall ♪
535
00:22:05,698 --> 00:22:06,999
Yes.
536
00:22:07,033 --> 00:22:08,500
♪ Up above ♪
537
00:22:08,534 --> 00:22:13,238
♪ Don't leave me ♪
538
00:22:13,272 --> 00:22:17,653
- ♪ Alone ♪
- Abby, we're done.
539
00:22:19,145 --> 00:22:21,079
♪ Somebody ♪
540
00:22:21,114 --> 00:22:22,848
I'm here, okay.
541
00:22:22,882 --> 00:22:24,116
- [CRYING]
- I'm right here.
542
00:22:24,150 --> 00:22:25,584
You're okay.
543
00:22:25,618 --> 00:22:27,185
Abby, you're okay.
544
00:22:27,220 --> 00:22:31,141
- ♪ Save me ♪
- [CRYING]
545
00:22:32,137 --> 00:22:34,304
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
546
00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:37,089
You never told anyone.
547
00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:41,094
The police, your parents...
548
00:22:41,129 --> 00:22:44,264
I convinced the few people who noticed
549
00:22:44,299 --> 00:22:46,099
that it was just the freshman 15,
550
00:22:46,134 --> 00:22:50,304
and I was able to dodge Christmas break
551
00:22:50,338 --> 00:22:55,108
by lying about...
finals and work studies.
552
00:22:55,143 --> 00:22:56,877
You didn't tell anyone you were pregnant?
553
00:22:56,911 --> 00:22:58,277
No, no.
554
00:22:59,580 --> 00:23:00,614
I mean, it...
555
00:23:00,648 --> 00:23:04,217
it wasn't until years
after it happened that...
556
00:23:04,252 --> 00:23:05,585
After I happened.
557
00:23:05,620 --> 00:23:07,354
After the rape happened.
558
00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:10,957
After I was raped.
559
00:23:12,527 --> 00:23:14,728
I eventually found my way to therapy,
560
00:23:14,762 --> 00:23:16,096
and I did all the work,
561
00:23:16,130 --> 00:23:18,298
and I wrote in journals,
562
00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:20,434
and I learned all the PTSD triggers.
563
00:23:20,468 --> 00:23:22,269
I-I actually had to work through
564
00:23:22,303 --> 00:23:23,637
calling it "rape" to begin with.
565
00:23:23,671 --> 00:23:26,139
Because I did say yes to that date,
566
00:23:26,174 --> 00:23:29,976
and I did say yes to getting
in that car, and...
567
00:23:30,011 --> 00:23:32,346
Someone somewhere along the way...
568
00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:33,380
a man, most likely...
569
00:23:33,414 --> 00:23:35,682
decided they wanted to qualify
this word, "rape."
570
00:23:35,717 --> 00:23:38,251
You know, date rape,
[SNIFFLES] a-acquaintance rape.
571
00:23:38,286 --> 00:23:41,288
Somehow, it... it... it...
it's... it's not as real
572
00:23:41,322 --> 00:23:42,823
unless it happens to a woman
573
00:23:42,857 --> 00:23:46,693
who's running through the park
at night or...
574
00:23:46,728 --> 00:23:50,364
or walking down a dark alley.
575
00:23:50,398 --> 00:23:53,300
As somehow, because I knew him,
576
00:23:53,334 --> 00:23:55,202
what he took from me didn't matter.
577
00:23:55,236 --> 00:23:56,703
But it did matter.
578
00:23:56,738 --> 00:23:59,606
I found a way to hear that.
579
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,924
I found a way to believe that.
580
00:24:02,744 --> 00:24:04,718
And I...
581
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,048
I found a way to move forward.
582
00:24:08,082 --> 00:24:09,916
You got therapy.
583
00:24:11,085 --> 00:24:12,219
Yeah.
584
00:24:12,253 --> 00:24:14,154
You moved forward.
585
00:24:16,257 --> 00:24:17,924
Mm-hmm.
586
00:24:19,060 --> 00:24:21,528
And you didn't once try and find me?
587
00:24:25,366 --> 00:24:27,934
I was petrified.
588
00:24:30,405 --> 00:24:34,541
I was petrified every single
moment of my pregnancy.
589
00:24:34,575 --> 00:24:37,511
I mean, it was bad enough that
I had to see his face
590
00:24:37,545 --> 00:24:39,379
every day in class.
591
00:24:39,414 --> 00:24:41,463
I was so terrified...
592
00:24:42,383 --> 00:24:46,927
imagining that you'd be a boy
593
00:24:47,755 --> 00:24:51,591
and that you'd have his face
and his voice.
594
00:24:51,626 --> 00:24:55,695
And every day,
every kick, every movement,
595
00:24:55,730 --> 00:24:58,480
it just reminded me where you came from.
596
00:25:00,968 --> 00:25:04,738
But, you know, movies and books
and... and magazines,
597
00:25:04,772 --> 00:25:07,698
they just kept talking about this...
598
00:25:09,076 --> 00:25:13,947
love that you feel
the minute your baby is born.
599
00:25:13,981 --> 00:25:15,582
How instantaneous it is
600
00:25:15,616 --> 00:25:19,052
and how, um, your heart
just cracks wide open, and...
601
00:25:19,086 --> 00:25:20,454
[SNIFFLES]
602
00:25:20,488 --> 00:25:23,590
And I remember, I kept telling myself
603
00:25:23,624 --> 00:25:25,392
that as soon as I had you in my arms
604
00:25:25,426 --> 00:25:27,342
that I could do that
605
00:25:28,095 --> 00:25:29,930
and that I would do that.
606
00:25:29,964 --> 00:25:34,801
Other women did it, so why couldn't I?
607
00:25:34,836 --> 00:25:38,038
So I gave the hospital a fake name.
608
00:25:38,072 --> 00:25:42,375
I left with you... the day you were born.
609
00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:43,577
I remember they wanted me to stay,
610
00:25:43,611 --> 00:25:45,545
and they wanted me to rest,
but I just wanted to get out.
611
00:25:45,580 --> 00:25:48,448
I just wanted to get out of
there, and I just wanted...
612
00:25:52,086 --> 00:25:53,487
[VOICE BREAKING] I just
wanted to be alone with you,
613
00:25:53,521 --> 00:25:56,389
and I just wanted it to be
the two of us, and...
614
00:25:56,424 --> 00:25:59,092
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
615
00:25:59,126 --> 00:26:01,428
...and I wanted to stare
at you and hold you...
616
00:26:05,099 --> 00:26:07,033
...'til that love came.
617
00:26:08,703 --> 00:26:11,304
But it never did.
618
00:26:11,339 --> 00:26:13,440
No, it did.
619
00:26:15,031 --> 00:26:16,076
It did.
620
00:26:16,110 --> 00:26:18,727
Everything they said
was absolutely right.
621
00:26:19,947 --> 00:26:22,682
My heart cracked wide open.
622
00:26:23,273 --> 00:26:25,085
[CRYING]
623
00:26:26,888 --> 00:26:28,488
It was never just us,
624
00:26:28,523 --> 00:26:31,198
no matter how hard I tried,
no matter what I did.
625
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,952
I was just a reminder of him.
626
00:26:35,530 --> 00:26:38,098
I resented you so much for it.
627
00:26:41,135 --> 00:26:43,460
I spent most of my life...
628
00:26:44,572 --> 00:26:48,048
doubting everyone I ever met,
629
00:26:49,010 --> 00:26:51,677
leaving them before they could leave me.
630
00:26:52,847 --> 00:26:54,174
I am a grown woman
631
00:26:54,199 --> 00:26:56,316
[SIGHS]
632
00:26:56,350 --> 00:26:59,986
With a job that I love and friends I love
633
00:27:00,021 --> 00:27:01,788
and a husband who loves me,
634
00:27:01,822 --> 00:27:03,564
and still...
635
00:27:04,759 --> 00:27:06,066
still...
636
00:27:07,094 --> 00:27:11,405
I was walking around, uh, waiting,
637
00:27:12,934 --> 00:27:15,302
wondering if you would ever find me.
638
00:27:15,336 --> 00:27:16,903
[SNIFFLES]
639
00:27:16,938 --> 00:27:19,372
If you would ever say that you're sorry.
640
00:27:23,344 --> 00:27:24,477
I did the best I could.
641
00:27:24,512 --> 00:27:26,913
The best you could would've been
to find an adoption agency
642
00:27:26,948 --> 00:27:29,583
and make sure I had a home
and someone to love me,
643
00:27:29,617 --> 00:27:31,518
not toss me away like garbage.
644
00:27:32,620 --> 00:27:35,555
It is so easy to look at me now
645
00:27:35,590 --> 00:27:36,623
and think of all the ways
646
00:27:36,657 --> 00:27:41,428
that I could've been
kinder, better, or smarter,
647
00:27:41,462 --> 00:27:42,561
but...
648
00:27:44,699 --> 00:27:46,866
...I was not the person I am today.
649
00:27:46,901 --> 00:27:48,668
I was not in my right mind.
650
00:27:48,703 --> 00:27:51,338
I wasn't in my mind at all.
651
00:27:53,474 --> 00:27:59,369
That night that...
that he held me down, screaming.
652
00:28:00,314 --> 00:28:03,416
That night that he had
his hands around my throat
653
00:28:03,451 --> 00:28:05,619
until I stopped screaming,
654
00:28:05,653 --> 00:28:07,587
when I was hovering over my own body
655
00:28:07,622 --> 00:28:10,223
while he was tearing away at me,
656
00:28:10,257 --> 00:28:12,959
that night that he smiled
657
00:28:12,994 --> 00:28:17,471
and he forced me to say that I liked it,
658
00:28:18,299 --> 00:28:20,900
when he laughed and...
659
00:28:22,169 --> 00:28:25,705
...promised that we could do it
any time that I wanted to...
660
00:28:28,576 --> 00:28:32,846
...that was the night
that I lost my right mind.
661
00:28:33,814 --> 00:28:36,750
He stole it from me,
and for nine months...
662
00:28:36,784 --> 00:28:39,786
for nine months, I pretended I was fine.
663
00:28:39,820 --> 00:28:42,255
I pretended that I wasn't a zombie,
664
00:28:42,289 --> 00:28:45,207
that I wasn't numb or dead inside.
665
00:28:45,826 --> 00:28:47,927
And then, the day that you were born,
666
00:28:47,962 --> 00:28:51,231
I held you, and I looked at your face,
667
00:28:51,265 --> 00:28:52,666
and I...
668
00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:55,168
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
669
00:28:55,202 --> 00:28:57,570
...I could feel again for the first time,
670
00:28:57,605 --> 00:28:59,606
but...
671
00:29:02,176 --> 00:29:03,610
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
672
00:29:03,644 --> 00:29:05,545
...my mind...
673
00:29:07,148 --> 00:29:08,682
...that took years to come back.
674
00:29:08,716 --> 00:29:11,651
In fact, I'm... Part of it never did.
675
00:29:14,689 --> 00:29:17,257
Of course you deserved better.
676
00:29:20,561 --> 00:29:21,594
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
677
00:29:21,629 --> 00:29:24,064
I didn't have better to give you.
678
00:29:32,740 --> 00:29:34,641
I was seven weeks pregnant
679
00:29:34,675 --> 00:29:36,609
when my ex-husband cracked my ribs
680
00:29:36,644 --> 00:29:38,945
and threw me across
the living room floor.
681
00:29:41,148 --> 00:29:42,682
He didn't know that I was pregnant,
682
00:29:42,717 --> 00:29:47,120
and I decided in that moment
that he could never know.
683
00:29:49,056 --> 00:29:52,441
I couldn't... I couldn't see a way out.
684
00:29:52,993 --> 00:29:54,394
Not then, at least.
685
00:29:54,428 --> 00:29:56,296
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
686
00:29:56,330 --> 00:29:57,530
I knew that, if I tried to leave,
687
00:29:57,565 --> 00:29:59,232
he would kill me.
688
00:29:59,266 --> 00:30:02,702
But I also knew that
I couldn't raise a kid
689
00:30:02,737 --> 00:30:06,439
in that... fear, and in that danger.
690
00:30:07,775 --> 00:30:09,708
You had an abortion.
691
00:30:10,377 --> 00:30:12,377
I've never told anyone that.
692
00:30:13,681 --> 00:30:15,582
I don't know why. I'm not ashamed of it.
693
00:30:15,616 --> 00:30:16,666
I...
694
00:30:16,691 --> 00:30:18,718
[SIGHS]
695
00:30:18,753 --> 00:30:21,421
I did what I had to do.
696
00:30:21,455 --> 00:30:22,922
[CRYING]
697
00:30:22,957 --> 00:30:25,658
[VEHICLES PASSING IN DISTANCE]
698
00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:27,260
[DINNERWARE CLATTERING LIGHTLY
IN DISTANCE]
699
00:30:27,294 --> 00:30:29,129
[SNIFFLES]
700
00:30:34,568 --> 00:30:36,569
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
701
00:30:36,604 --> 00:30:38,204
[SNIFFLES]
702
00:30:40,941 --> 00:30:42,742
Do I look like him?
703
00:30:48,749 --> 00:30:51,124
You have my father's eyes...
704
00:30:52,873 --> 00:30:54,507
but the hair is all mine.
705
00:30:57,057 --> 00:30:59,559
And maybe the fire in the belly.
706
00:31:03,063 --> 00:31:05,465
[VOICE BREAKING] I did the best I could,
707
00:31:05,499 --> 00:31:06,766
and I'm still...
708
00:31:10,137 --> 00:31:12,705
I'm sorry. I'm still
just doing the best I can.
709
00:31:18,646 --> 00:31:20,780
[CHAIR SCRAPES LIGHTLY]
710
00:31:20,815 --> 00:31:22,615
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
711
00:31:22,650 --> 00:31:31,457
♪
712
00:31:31,492 --> 00:31:33,126
[FOOTSTEPS DEPART]
713
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:37,730
♪
714
00:31:38,876 --> 00:31:39,957
[DOOR CLOSES]
715
00:31:41,622 --> 00:31:44,319
She's becoming increasingly tachypneic.
716
00:31:44,395 --> 00:31:46,529
Let OR 1 know that we're on our way.
717
00:31:46,554 --> 00:31:48,522
Abby, it's time.
718
00:31:48,556 --> 00:31:49,571
We have to go up now.
719
00:31:49,606 --> 00:31:50,924
No. I'm not... I'm not ready. I'm...
720
00:31:50,959 --> 00:31:52,859
[ECHOING] Abby, I know you're scared.
721
00:31:52,894 --> 00:31:53,994
No, you're gonna... you're gonna...
722
00:31:54,028 --> 00:31:57,097
you're gonna take me out
and knock me out where I...
723
00:31:57,131 --> 00:31:59,449
the last time I was out,
h-he knocked me out.
724
00:31:59,484 --> 00:32:00,734
[ECHOING] Abby. Abby, listen to me.
725
00:32:00,768 --> 00:32:03,036
If we don't do this surgery now,
it could kill you.
726
00:32:03,071 --> 00:32:05,405
[CRYING] I can't.
727
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,375
I can't leave here, this room.
728
00:32:08,409 --> 00:32:10,777
Everyone has his face, every man.
729
00:32:10,812 --> 00:32:12,412
It's all I see.
730
00:32:12,447 --> 00:32:14,548
Even when I close my eyes...
731
00:32:14,582 --> 00:32:16,550
[ECHOING] Please. I can't see his face.
732
00:32:16,584 --> 00:32:18,452
Please don't I...
make me see his face, please.
733
00:32:18,486 --> 00:32:20,373
[NORMAL VOICE] You don't have to, Abby.
734
00:32:20,408 --> 00:32:21,521
- [HEARTBEAT PULSING]
- You don't have to.
735
00:32:21,556 --> 00:32:24,458
[WHIMPERING]
736
00:32:24,492 --> 00:32:25,652
Okay.
737
00:32:25,686 --> 00:32:29,696
Tuck says they're talking.
What is that? Talking?
738
00:32:29,731 --> 00:32:31,431
I think they're dating.
739
00:32:31,466 --> 00:32:33,867
Mnh. Why do they do that?
740
00:32:33,901 --> 00:32:35,569
Why do they insist
on coming up with new words
741
00:32:35,603 --> 00:32:37,604
when the old words were just fine?
742
00:32:37,638 --> 00:32:39,473
[CHUCKLES]
743
00:32:39,507 --> 00:32:41,575
It's not funny.
744
00:32:41,609 --> 00:32:43,977
Well, you... you do sound
a little, you know,
745
00:32:44,012 --> 00:32:45,379
"Get off my lawn!"
746
00:32:45,413 --> 00:32:46,480
No.
747
00:32:46,514 --> 00:32:49,249
I want him to be happy.
748
00:32:49,283 --> 00:32:50,283
I want him to, you know,
749
00:32:50,318 --> 00:32:52,652
have the butterflies
and first love and all that.
750
00:32:52,687 --> 00:32:54,821
Mm-hmm. Yeah, just not so soon.
751
00:32:54,856 --> 00:32:56,923
[SIGHS]
752
00:32:56,958 --> 00:32:58,925
We're gonna have to sit his butt down
753
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:01,561
and teach him about respect...
754
00:33:03,031 --> 00:33:05,899
...empathy, consent.
755
00:33:05,933 --> 00:33:07,267
Condoms... Oh, dear Lord.
756
00:33:07,301 --> 00:33:08,935
I have to talk to my son about condoms.
757
00:33:08,970 --> 00:33:11,004
- 100%.
- [SIGHS]
758
00:33:11,039 --> 00:33:12,349
Or...
759
00:33:13,708 --> 00:33:15,644
I could sit down with Tuck.
760
00:33:16,377 --> 00:33:18,146
It can be on you.
761
00:33:19,380 --> 00:33:23,818
But my dad gave me this talk,
and it worked.
762
00:33:24,819 --> 00:33:26,820
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES, CHIMES]
763
00:33:26,854 --> 00:33:28,588
Mm, I gotta go.
764
00:33:28,623 --> 00:33:32,692
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
765
00:33:32,727 --> 00:33:33,775
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
766
00:33:33,809 --> 00:33:35,595
You, uh... You can't go through there.
767
00:33:35,630 --> 00:33:36,630
Well, why not?
768
00:33:36,664 --> 00:33:38,799
Because I've been asked
to see that you don't.
769
00:33:38,833 --> 00:33:39,876
Wha...
770
00:33:40,735 --> 00:33:41,868
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
771
00:33:41,903 --> 00:33:43,537
Well, but she can go?
772
00:33:43,571 --> 00:33:44,604
Yes, sir.
773
00:33:46,374 --> 00:33:48,642
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
774
00:33:52,747 --> 00:33:54,981
Dr. Karev asked us to all stand here?
775
00:33:55,016 --> 00:33:56,116
Do we know why?
776
00:33:56,150 --> 00:33:59,686
Just... that a patient needs us.
777
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:01,231
She needs all of us.
778
00:34:02,490 --> 00:34:03,690
Okay.
779
00:34:03,715 --> 00:34:06,450
[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE]
780
00:34:06,661 --> 00:34:08,795
FEMALE NURSE: Okay, ladies,
we need you all to line up
781
00:34:08,830 --> 00:34:10,664
either on the right side or left.
782
00:34:10,698 --> 00:34:12,993
Please keep this middle aisle clear.
783
00:34:14,735 --> 00:34:16,670
Are you ready?
784
00:34:16,704 --> 00:34:18,872
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
785
00:34:23,044 --> 00:34:26,847
♪ Standin' on the platform ♪
786
00:34:26,881 --> 00:34:29,749
♪ Watching you go ♪
787
00:34:29,784 --> 00:34:31,318
♪
788
00:34:31,352 --> 00:34:32,929
Yes.
789
00:34:33,621 --> 00:34:36,723
♪ It's like no other pain ♪
790
00:34:36,757 --> 00:34:40,694
♪ I've ever known ♪
791
00:34:40,728 --> 00:34:43,396
♪
792
00:34:43,431 --> 00:34:46,533
♪ To love someone so much ♪
793
00:34:46,567 --> 00:34:50,504
♪ To have no control ♪
794
00:34:50,538 --> 00:34:53,273
♪
795
00:34:53,307 --> 00:34:56,743
♪ You said, "I wanna see the world" ♪
796
00:34:56,777 --> 00:35:00,614
♪ And I said, "Go" ♪
797
00:35:00,648 --> 00:35:05,585
♪
798
00:35:05,620 --> 00:35:12,125
♪ But I think I'm lost without you ♪
799
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:16,530
♪
800
00:35:16,564 --> 00:35:21,701
♪ Strangers rushin' past,
just tryna get home ♪
801
00:35:21,736 --> 00:35:26,139
♪
802
00:35:26,174 --> 00:35:31,745
♪ You were the only
safehaven that I've known ♪
803
00:35:31,779 --> 00:35:36,149
♪
804
00:35:36,184 --> 00:35:38,618
♪ Hits me at full speed ♪
805
00:35:38,653 --> 00:35:42,455
♪ Feel like I can't breathe ♪
806
00:35:42,490 --> 00:35:46,593
♪ And nobody knows ♪
807
00:35:46,627 --> 00:35:51,765
♪ I think I'm lost without you ♪
808
00:35:51,799 --> 00:35:52,999
Ready?
809
00:35:53,034 --> 00:35:56,970
♪ You ♪
810
00:35:57,004 --> 00:35:58,305
♪ I just feel crushed... ♪
811
00:35:58,339 --> 00:36:00,140
I'm staying right here.
812
00:36:00,174 --> 00:36:04,678
♪ ...without you ♪
813
00:36:04,712 --> 00:36:06,780
♪ 'Cause I've been strong for so long ♪
814
00:36:06,814 --> 00:36:09,916
- [RESPIRATOR HISSING]
- ♪ That I never thought ♪
815
00:36:09,951 --> 00:36:16,623
♪ How much I love you ♪
816
00:36:16,657 --> 00:36:18,024
TEDDY: I've seen soldiers like this.
817
00:36:18,059 --> 00:36:20,126
- ♪ Standin' on the platform, watching you go ♪
- Young women and young men, brutalized,
818
00:36:21,495 --> 00:36:23,830
with no idea how to talk about it.
819
00:36:23,864 --> 00:36:24,931
[MONITOR BEEPING]
820
00:36:24,966 --> 00:36:27,934
What you did today with Abby,
that was not protocol...
821
00:36:27,969 --> 00:36:30,270
- ♪ You said, "I wanna see the world" ♪
- I know, I know, and I'm sorry.
822
00:36:30,304 --> 00:36:33,273
I'm saying it should be.
823
00:36:33,307 --> 00:36:37,712
♪ And I said, "Go" ♪
824
00:36:40,020 --> 00:36:42,521
[MONITOR BEEPING]
825
00:36:43,935 --> 00:36:45,602
TEDDY: Abby, hi.
826
00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:49,139
We were able to repair your diaphragm.
827
00:36:49,173 --> 00:36:51,374
We had to place in a chest tube
for drainage,
828
00:36:51,409 --> 00:36:53,611
but that'll probably come out
in a few days.
829
00:36:54,445 --> 00:36:58,348
And your kit will stay here,
if you decide to report it.
830
00:36:58,382 --> 00:36:59,983
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
831
00:37:00,017 --> 00:37:01,918
You think I should do it, don't you?
832
00:37:01,953 --> 00:37:04,205
That is not our call to make.
833
00:37:05,857 --> 00:37:09,092
But we do think that
you should talk to someone.
834
00:37:09,127 --> 00:37:10,837
Doesn't have to be your husband.
835
00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:13,006
But someone.
836
00:37:14,031 --> 00:37:16,467
I keep going over it in my head.
837
00:37:17,969 --> 00:37:20,930
If I hadn't been
so distracted by my phone.
838
00:37:21,873 --> 00:37:23,607
If I had just trusted my gut
839
00:37:23,641 --> 00:37:26,387
and not gone down that street
with the broken lamplights.
840
00:37:26,421 --> 00:37:28,187
Abby.
841
00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:32,817
This was not your fault.
842
00:37:33,785 --> 00:37:35,653
You didn't ask for this.
843
00:37:36,754 --> 00:37:40,190
There is nothing you did to deserve this.
844
00:37:40,224 --> 00:37:42,626
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
845
00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:44,027
I can't.
846
00:37:44,061 --> 00:37:45,262
I just can't...
847
00:37:45,296 --> 00:37:47,030
Okay, that's okay.
848
00:37:48,065 --> 00:37:49,902
I'll check in on you
in a little bit, all right?
849
00:37:49,937 --> 00:37:51,142
Try to get some rest.
850
00:37:51,177 --> 00:37:52,236
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
851
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:53,757
WOMAN ON P.A.: Dr. Felix to the ER.
852
00:37:53,792 --> 00:37:55,602
Dr. Felix to the ER.
853
00:37:55,637 --> 00:37:59,776
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
854
00:37:59,811 --> 00:38:01,344
Jack...
855
00:38:04,448 --> 00:38:07,818
He's gonna look at me
and see this broken person.
856
00:38:07,852 --> 00:38:10,320
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
857
00:38:10,354 --> 00:38:14,391
If I tell him this,
it's all he'll ever see.
858
00:38:14,425 --> 00:38:15,725
Abby, look at me.
859
00:38:17,328 --> 00:38:19,229
This doesn't define you.
860
00:38:19,263 --> 00:38:21,765
And whether you tell
your husband or you report it
861
00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:24,835
or you don't tell another soul,
you're a survivor.
862
00:38:24,869 --> 00:38:26,621
You survived.
863
00:38:27,505 --> 00:38:29,472
I still feel nauseous when I see
864
00:38:29,507 --> 00:38:32,609
men in expensive shoes
with the points of the toes,
865
00:38:32,643 --> 00:38:34,978
because that's how my ex-husband
made my kidney bleed.
866
00:38:35,012 --> 00:38:37,814
For years, I thought
I got what I deserved,
867
00:38:37,849 --> 00:38:40,717
that I was responsible, that maybe,
868
00:38:40,751 --> 00:38:45,388
just maybe if I had said or done
one thing differently...
869
00:38:45,423 --> 00:38:47,290
But none of that was your fault.
870
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,658
No.
871
00:38:48,693 --> 00:38:51,528
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
872
00:38:53,724 --> 00:38:55,859
It's not your fault.
873
00:38:55,884 --> 00:38:58,018
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
874
00:38:58,043 --> 00:39:01,712
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
875
00:39:01,737 --> 00:39:03,804
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
876
00:39:04,241 --> 00:39:06,175
[SNIFFLES]
877
00:39:07,945 --> 00:39:10,780
Do you have a phone I can use?
878
00:39:10,815 --> 00:39:11,999
Yes.
879
00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:15,318
[BEEPING CONTINUES]
880
00:39:16,687 --> 00:39:18,755
[BREATHES SHARPLY] Will you stay?
881
00:39:18,789 --> 00:39:21,291
As long as you need.
882
00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:29,766
♪
883
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,868
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
884
00:39:31,903 --> 00:39:33,336
[SNIFFLES]
885
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:35,772
[CELLPHONE BUTTONS CLICKING]
886
00:39:35,806 --> 00:39:37,474
♪ Slow down ♪
887
00:39:37,508 --> 00:39:38,842
♪
888
00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:40,176
[LINE RINGING]
889
00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:41,978
♪ Try to breathe in deep ♪
890
00:39:42,013 --> 00:39:43,313
- [SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
- ♪ Listen ♪
891
00:39:43,347 --> 00:39:45,282
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
892
00:39:45,316 --> 00:39:46,283
♪ To the words I speak ♪
893
00:39:46,317 --> 00:39:48,518
Any game we watch on TV... right? they...
894
00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:53,790
they run, toss, wrestle, chase,
until someone gets hurt.
895
00:39:53,824 --> 00:39:57,494
Or until someone calls "time out."
896
00:39:57,528 --> 00:39:59,029
Then the game stops.
897
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:01,197
And no matter how much fun
they're having,
898
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,866
everything stops.
899
00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:04,734
♪ Calling out for help, out for help ♪
900
00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:06,179
That's consent.
901
00:40:07,338 --> 00:40:08,972
I thought we were just having burgers.
902
00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:11,408
Yeah, well, I thought talking
was just talking,
903
00:40:11,442 --> 00:40:13,209
but you and I both know that's
not the same thing anymore,
904
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:14,711
so...
905
00:40:14,745 --> 00:40:17,213
♪ Waiting to save yourself
from falling into deep ♪
906
00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:20,650
You pay attention to the girl
you're with, all right?
907
00:40:20,685 --> 00:40:22,719
You... You... You need to care
about her feelings,
908
00:40:22,753 --> 00:40:23,753
her... her joy,
909
00:40:23,788 --> 00:40:26,056
at... at least as much
as you care about your own.
910
00:40:26,090 --> 00:40:27,657
- Okay, okay.
- ♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪
911
00:40:27,692 --> 00:40:29,926
And she gets to change her mind.
At any time.
912
00:40:29,961 --> 00:40:32,662
I mean, if she says "stop," or
if she stops having fun, you...
913
00:40:32,697 --> 00:40:34,998
- you just plain stop.
- ♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪
914
00:40:35,032 --> 00:40:36,733
Time out.
915
00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:37,767
Game over.
916
00:40:37,802 --> 00:40:38,802
I know.
917
00:40:38,836 --> 00:40:41,771
♪ I won't leave you in the cold
on your own ♪
918
00:40:41,806 --> 00:40:44,574
Being with someone you like is...
919
00:40:44,608 --> 00:40:45,842
♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪
920
00:40:45,876 --> 00:40:48,678
There's nothing like it, and I
want you to be safe and happy,
921
00:40:48,713 --> 00:40:52,415
but that only happens if she is, too.
922
00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:53,750
Okay.
923
00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:54,851
Say it.
924
00:40:54,885 --> 00:40:56,853
♪ Come and sit with me down ♪
925
00:40:56,887 --> 00:40:58,788
Say it. [SLURPS]
926
00:40:58,823 --> 00:41:01,458
♪ Pour out whatever's weighing you down ♪
927
00:41:01,492 --> 00:41:05,628
If she stops having fun, just plain stop.
928
00:41:05,663 --> 00:41:06,763
Time out. Game over.
929
00:41:06,797 --> 00:41:08,324
Always.
930
00:41:08,933 --> 00:41:12,769
Now, pass those fries and tell
me what this Kelly is like.
931
00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:14,804
♪ Calm down, calm down ♪
932
00:41:14,839 --> 00:41:16,207
Yeah.
933
00:41:16,807 --> 00:41:19,042
Too often, trauma gets dismissed
934
00:41:19,076 --> 00:41:21,778
as "just in our head."
935
00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:23,392
But the pain is real.
936
00:41:23,427 --> 00:41:25,066
♪ Waiting to save yourself ♪
937
00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:26,634
We feel it...
938
00:41:27,284 --> 00:41:30,820
in our muscles, our cells,
939
00:41:30,855 --> 00:41:33,923
our hearts, our heads.
940
00:41:33,958 --> 00:41:37,761
♪ Stop running, stop hiding ♪
941
00:41:37,795 --> 00:41:40,230
And while there's no magic fix...
942
00:41:40,264 --> 00:41:41,731
♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪
943
00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:44,068
...no pill to make it disappear,
944
00:41:45,603 --> 00:41:46,970
we can ask for help.
945
00:41:47,004 --> 00:41:50,573
♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪
946
00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:53,443
Hey, I'm officially
no longer the interim chief,
947
00:41:53,477 --> 00:41:55,011
and officially starving.
948
00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:56,846
Can I take you out to celebrate?
949
00:41:56,881 --> 00:41:58,014
I've had a rough day.
950
00:41:58,049 --> 00:41:59,783
I don't really feel like celebrating.
951
00:41:59,817 --> 00:42:01,484
Yeah, well, we can just talk.
952
00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:03,853
I just want to go home
and crawl into bed.
953
00:42:03,888 --> 00:42:04,966
All right, well, we can do that.
954
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,156
Alex, I'm tired.
955
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:08,992
Can you just go celebrate with Meredith?
956
00:42:09,026 --> 00:42:11,127
Jo, it's me. You can talk to me.
957
00:42:11,162 --> 00:42:12,662
What... you think with all my family crap
958
00:42:12,696 --> 00:42:13,764
that I'm gonna judge you?
959
00:42:14,166 --> 00:42:16,027
I'm not going to judge.
960
00:42:16,027 --> 00:42:18,769
Just, I just want you talk to me.
961
00:42:19,233 --> 00:42:21,233
I don't want to talk about it.
962
00:42:21,250 --> 00:42:23,250
Alex, I...
963
00:42:24,316 --> 00:42:26,029
I can't talk about it.
964
00:42:26,029 --> 00:42:28,029
I just want to go home.
965
00:42:28,095 --> 00:42:30,095
I want to go home alone.
966
00:42:30,163 --> 00:42:32,325
I want to go home and sleep.
967
00:42:32,522 --> 00:42:34,327
Please.
968
00:42:37,842 --> 00:42:39,752
And we can tell our truth...
969
00:42:39,753 --> 00:42:42,039
♪ You in the cold, on your own ♪
970
00:42:42,090 --> 00:42:44,090
...whenever we're ready.
971
00:42:44,107 --> 00:42:47,590
♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪
67442
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