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1
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Buon giorno. You have reached Pope John Paul ll.
2
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I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave...
3
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your name and a number after the sound of the beep...
4
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I'll get back to you as soon as heavenly possible.
5
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Remember, please wait for the beep.
6
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Here she comes.
7
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Hello, Marcello? This is Phoebe. I've been walking the streets...
8
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trying to figure out exactly what I want to say...
9
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and I finally figured out what I do want to say...
10
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so I'll just say it the way I figured it out, OK?
11
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I'm here in Rome. I spent every cent I had to get here...
12
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so we could spend the rest of our lives together.
13
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Does that ring a bell, Marcello?
14
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Honest to God, I really thought you were different.
15
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When you said you loved me that night by the pool...
16
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I believed you.
17
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I actually believe people when they say things like that.
18
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Yep, I bought it! Old Phoebe gets burned again...
19
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but what else is new? So, hey, I'm rambling, and...
20
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I'm having a bad day.
21
00:02:07,381 --> 00:02:12,353
Hey! That's my lunch!
22
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Oh, God! Ruined a perfectly good bun!
23
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I have nothing more to give! I'm sorry.
24
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I remember the day you signed me.
25
00:04:04,031 --> 00:04:06,272
You said I'd be the next Al Pacino.
26
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But if you don't land me a job...
27
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before my next rent check is due, I'm in serious trouble.
28
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I think you should find another agent...I'm sorry, Julian.
29
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I should be the one to apologize.
30
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,329
You know me. I'm a chronic whiner.
31
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It's like a hobby with me. You know that.
32
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Good-bye, Julian. I wish you the best.
33
00:04:29,089 --> 00:04:33,435
You're making a big mistake, Carla.
34
00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:36,441
I'll tell you what, honey. I'll give you the whole weekend.
35
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Think about it. I'll call you Monday, all right?
36
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If they haven't disconnected my phone by then.
37
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What am I, sitting on a Milk Bone now?
38
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Will you get outta here?
39
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Does somebody own this thing, or what?
40
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At least when I get back home, I can do summer stock...
41
00:05:20,441 --> 00:05:22,819
a road show...maybe Cats again. Ever see that?
42
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You would love that. You know you're a very good listener?
43
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Why can't you be a woman? Whoa! Look at you!
44
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Your mommy must be very loaded, huh? Yo! Monte Carlo!
45
00:05:42,196 --> 00:05:46,667
There she is. I've been looking all over for you.
46
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- Scusi, signore. Mio cane. - This is your dog?
47
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- Oh. You're American. - Julian Peters.
48
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- Phoebe. - Phoebe what?
49
00:05:54,241 --> 00:05:56,312
- Phoebe. Just Phoebe. - Just Phoebe?
50
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- Like what, just Cher? - Just Phoebe, like...
51
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"I don't want you to know the rest of my name" just Phoebe.
52
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Could I please have the dog?
53
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"Just Phoebe," I don't think she's your dog.
54
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- She is mine. - She can't be.
55
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- Why would you say that? - She's a he.
56
00:06:11,158 --> 00:06:14,628
So I made a mistake. Look...
57
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the dog is lost, and it's my aunt's...
58
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and I'm returning the dog to her.
59
00:06:20,601 --> 00:06:23,582
So could I please have the damn dog?
60
00:06:23,604 --> 00:06:28,178
- Uh-huh. Got a minute? - No.
61
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Come on, have a seat. I'll buy you something.
62
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Want some water? You like bubbles?
63
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I'll get you mineral water or something.
64
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You know, I'm an actor.
65
00:06:38,886 --> 00:06:41,423
And I study, you know, human behaviour.
66
00:06:41,455 --> 00:06:45,870
And I smell money here. Monte Carlo money.
67
00:06:45,893 --> 00:06:52,606
- I smell big reward. - What do you want?
68
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50-50.
69
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70-30, but on the condition you don't speak to me once...
70
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during the entire trip.
71
00:07:01,475 --> 00:07:02,954
70-30 is hardly worth my time.
72
00:07:02,976 --> 00:07:05,354
I'm in show business. I make that in an hour.
73
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60-40, you got a deal.
74
00:07:07,181 --> 00:07:10,390
How come your eyes are so red? Have you been crying?
75
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- A guy? You involved? -65-35, and I up my end...
76
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every time you open your mouth.
77
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Yes! Red! Odd! Yes! Marilyn, I'm hot.
78
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I'm up 16 million bucks.
79
00:07:30,104 --> 00:07:34,075
Every minute we're not in Monte Carlo, we're losing a fortune.
80
00:07:34,108 --> 00:07:36,645
Boy, if the casino knew I had this system...
81
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they'd hire hit men to stop me.
82
00:07:39,179 --> 00:07:42,422
Why would someone sell you a foolproof system for $3.00?
83
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$2.00. I talked the guy down, remember?
84
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If it's so great, why didn't he use it himself?
85
00:07:46,453 --> 00:07:49,923
Marilyn, I told you, he was barred from the casino.
86
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The man was a mathematician.
87
00:07:52,092 --> 00:07:54,971
Neil, he was counting on his fingers.
88
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That was the liquor. We caught him at a bad moment.
89
00:07:58,499 --> 00:08:01,378
Don't second-guess me, Marilyn. You're out of your league.
90
00:08:01,401 --> 00:08:03,472
I see an opportunity, I go for it.
91
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What difference does it make?
92
00:08:04,738 --> 00:08:07,048
I could've bought it off a horse. The system works.
93
00:08:07,074 --> 00:08:13,514
There is no system for roulette. None. Believe me.
94
00:08:19,253 --> 00:08:23,861
The only way to win in a casino is not to gamble.
95
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:29,904
Forgive me. My name is Morosco, Augie Morosco...
96
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and I've been a gambler my entire life.
97
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I used to own 3 restaurants in New York.
98
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I lost them all at roulette.
99
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Then I went to Gamblers Anonymous...
100
00:08:42,176 --> 00:08:44,156
and discovered gambling was a disease.
101
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- Thankfully, they cured me. - If you're not a gambler...
102
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,287
how come you're on a train to Monte Carlo?
103
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My wife is there on holidays. She got me back in the business.
104
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,995
- Extremely wealthy. - So you married for money?
105
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I did no such thing. I married for lots of money.
106
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Enjoy your stay in Monte Carlo. Think about what I said.
107
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You've got your health, a lovely woman. Don't gamble.
108
00:09:14,875 --> 00:09:18,687
Come. You're a cute little guy, yes.
109
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- Up you go, there you go. - What a charming guy.
110
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- Good evening. - Good evening.
111
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Excuse me! That's my dog!
112
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What are you doing with my dog?
113
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You must be mistaken. This is my dog.
114
00:09:42,769 --> 00:09:45,249
No, you're mistaken. I found this dog this morning in Rome.
115
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I bought him an hour ago in the club car.
116
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:50,154
No, wait! That's impossible. Who'd you buy him from?
117
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Some American. Now, if you'll excuse me...
118
00:09:52,846 --> 00:09:54,325
we'll be arriving soon in Ventimiglia...
119
00:09:54,348 --> 00:09:56,487
and I haven't completed my toilette.
120
00:09:58,151 --> 00:10:00,563
So, what else?
121
00:10:00,587 --> 00:10:03,568
Hey, you might have seen me in Godfather III.
122
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Major motion picture. Granted, it was a small part...
123
00:10:07,027 --> 00:10:08,472
but I got very good notices.
124
00:10:08,495 --> 00:10:10,805
You sold the dog?
125
00:10:10,831 --> 00:10:14,040
I not only sold the dog-- excuse me, darlin'--
126
00:10:14,067 --> 00:10:18,072
I not only sold the dog, but I got $6,000.
127
00:10:18,105 --> 00:10:20,517
That's $1,000 more than the woman who owns him would pay.
128
00:10:20,540 --> 00:10:21,814
You would've done the same thing.
129
00:10:21,842 --> 00:10:24,880
No, Julian, I wouldn't have. He's not ours to sell.
130
00:10:24,911 --> 00:10:26,857
We promised that woman we'd return her dog!
131
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,259
I don't believe in making promises I can't keep.
132
00:10:30,284 --> 00:10:31,854
I don't see my name on that check.
133
00:10:31,885 --> 00:10:35,697
Who should he make it out to, "Julian Peters and Phoebe"?
134
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:36,894
What are we, a trapeze act?
135
00:10:36,923 --> 00:10:38,732
I was going to share the money with you.
136
00:10:38,759 --> 00:10:40,238
Yeah, right.
137
00:10:44,298 --> 00:10:46,335
Yes! This is the man.
138
00:10:46,366 --> 00:10:48,368
Here's your check. Sorry for the confusion.
139
00:10:48,402 --> 00:10:49,710
Oh, there's no confusion.
140
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,409
I don't want the check. I want the dog.
141
00:10:51,438 --> 00:10:54,908
You can buy 10 dogs for that price. Why this one?
142
00:10:54,941 --> 00:10:57,319
My wife has a female of this breed.
143
00:10:57,344 --> 00:11:00,917
She was looking for a male. Apparently, I won't do.
144
00:11:00,947 --> 00:11:04,417
Mister, I need this dog. Please take your check back.
145
00:11:04,451 --> 00:11:06,658
I'm sorry. A deal is a deal.
146
00:11:06,687 --> 00:11:09,691
Besides, I already promised the dog he'd get laid.
147
00:11:11,091 --> 00:11:14,334
Customs. Whose dog is this?
148
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- Mine. -It's ours.
149
00:11:15,862 --> 00:11:18,843
As you can see, sir, the dog belongs to me.
150
00:11:18,865 --> 00:11:21,641
Do you have the dog's papers?
151
00:11:21,668 --> 00:11:23,011
Papers?
152
00:11:23,036 --> 00:11:25,846
If you don't have papers, you must leave the train...
153
00:11:25,872 --> 00:11:28,853
and have the dog examined by a veterinary authority.
154
00:11:28,875 --> 00:11:30,149
It's their dog.
155
00:11:30,177 --> 00:11:31,850
I was just letting him lick me.
156
00:11:31,878 --> 00:11:35,792
- Good night. - Get your luggage, please.
157
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,263
Get the bags. You-hon, signore'.!
158
00:11:39,286 --> 00:11:41,027
I'm still interested in the dog.
159
00:11:41,054 --> 00:11:43,534
Would you excuse me? I'm being kicked off this train.
160
00:11:43,557 --> 00:11:46,037
I'd like to ask the conductor to slow down.
161
00:11:46,059 --> 00:11:49,529
If the owner should have a change of heart...
162
00:11:49,563 --> 00:11:51,133
come to me in Monte Carlo.
163
00:11:51,164 --> 00:11:53,644
I'll take the dog off your hands.
164
00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:58,707
Augie Morosco. L'Hotel de Paris.
165
00:11:58,739 --> 00:12:00,082
Thank you.
166
00:12:06,113 --> 00:12:10,391
Madame Van Dougen? This is Julian Peters again.
167
00:12:10,417 --> 00:12:12,397
No, we just got held up...
168
00:12:12,419 --> 00:12:15,400
because we had to have a veterinarian examine him...
169
00:12:15,422 --> 00:12:17,231
because we didn't have his papers.
170
00:12:17,257 --> 00:12:24,334
A veterinarian, uh, to ex-- a doctor de puppy.
171
00:12:24,364 --> 00:12:27,174
Right, so we can cross the border.
172
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,874
No, he's in perfect health, he really is.
173
00:12:29,903 --> 00:12:33,612
Of course he's here. No, he's at a cafe.
174
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:37,144
You want to talk to him? All right, sure.
175
00:12:37,177 --> 00:12:39,783
Hang on. Nice life.
176
00:12:43,717 --> 00:12:47,221
You hear that? He lit up at the sound of your voice.
177
00:12:47,254 --> 00:12:51,964
Listen, we missed the last train, so we have to take a bus.
178
00:12:51,992 --> 00:12:56,907
A busso. Bustee. Bussee. The bus, right.
179
00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:59,410
So we'll be there in a while, about 1:00.
180
00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:02,812
We can come over, but isn't that a little late for--
181
00:13:02,836 --> 00:13:07,285
Madame Van Dougen? Are you sick?
182
00:13:07,307 --> 00:13:10,220
Is she having sex now?
183
00:13:10,243 --> 00:13:12,689
Are you OK?
184
00:13:12,712 --> 00:13:15,158
Can you just talk a little slower?
185
00:13:15,182 --> 00:13:16,627
I'm having trouble understanding.
186
00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:19,221
Madame Van Dougen? Hello?
187
00:13:36,703 --> 00:13:42,984
Neil, you're missing this! It's so beautiful!
188
00:13:43,009 --> 00:13:46,616
- It's so romantic... - Romantic, right.
189
00:13:46,646 --> 00:13:48,319
Look, honey, you're going to take forever.
190
00:13:48,348 --> 00:13:50,123
Why don't you just meet me in the casino?
191
00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:52,187
I'll only be a couple of minutes.
192
00:13:52,219 --> 00:13:55,291
Marilyn, don't torture me. You make me sit here...
193
00:13:55,322 --> 00:13:58,132
while you figure out what you're gonna wear!
194
00:13:58,158 --> 00:14:00,695
Come on, I'm itching to hit the tables!
195
00:14:00,727 --> 00:14:02,604
Neil, is that our trip money?
196
00:14:02,629 --> 00:14:05,633
I'm not leaving $5,000 in cash in a hotel room.
197
00:14:05,665 --> 00:14:08,441
We're in Europe. These people rob you blind.
198
00:14:08,468 --> 00:14:12,143
Neil, promise me you won't gamble with our trip money.
199
00:14:12,172 --> 00:14:16,848
- I promise, I promise! - OK!
200
00:14:19,145 --> 00:14:21,648
Like I'm going to blow $5,000 gambling.
201
00:14:21,681 --> 00:14:25,595
Like I'm some kind of idiot or something.
202
00:14:25,619 --> 00:14:28,099
I'm thinking about wearing the Versace sample--
203
00:14:28,121 --> 00:14:31,068
the black one with the sequins?
204
00:14:31,091 --> 00:14:34,629
Dream on, Mare. Maybe 5 years ago, huh?
205
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:44,277
- Don't forget to hide-- - The garment bag under the bed.
206
00:14:44,304 --> 00:14:47,080
And don't let the hangers stick out this time, all right?
207
00:14:47,107 --> 00:14:49,519
And listen, don't order more of that bottled water...
208
00:14:49,543 --> 00:14:53,787
at 14 bucks a pop. You can drink out of the tap.
209
00:14:53,813 --> 00:14:59,491
Have I since the day you met me ever done anything right?
210
00:15:00,487 --> 00:15:03,934
Of course, doll. You married me.
211
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:11,373
Thank you, Neil. You're always so supportive, so giving.
212
00:15:11,398 --> 00:15:14,777
Baby...wish me luck.
213
00:15:48,668 --> 00:15:50,807
Merci.
214
00:15:50,837 --> 00:15:52,908
700,000, please.
215
00:15:52,939 --> 00:15:54,282
Monsieur.
216
00:15:56,276 --> 00:15:58,381
Thank you.
217
00:16:02,349 --> 00:16:07,025
-50 francs. -50?
218
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:11,058
I'll have to get the smaller markers.
219
00:16:11,091 --> 00:16:13,401
They use them in the children's casino.
220
00:16:13,426 --> 00:16:19,069
- Just give me the markers. -50.
221
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:23,081
Wait, you made a mistake. I said 5,000.
222
00:16:23,103 --> 00:16:26,573
- Francs? - Dollars. U.S. Dollars.
223
00:16:26,606 --> 00:16:30,782
The guy thought I said 50 francs.
224
00:16:30,810 --> 00:16:35,953
- Are you finish? - No. Are you Swedish?
225
00:16:35,982 --> 00:16:44,697
Am I finished? I've just begun! Am I finished? No way, big boy!
226
00:17:07,814 --> 00:17:11,557
- Cigarette? - No, thanks, I don't smoke.
227
00:17:11,584 --> 00:17:15,225
It is a weakness, I know. For me, one of many...
228
00:17:15,255 --> 00:17:18,634
I'm afraid, not the least of which is a beautiful woman...
229
00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:22,231
-such as yourself. - Thank you. I'm married.
230
00:17:22,262 --> 00:17:24,071
Interesting--the married woman.
231
00:17:24,097 --> 00:17:26,771
One of life's misunderstood creatures...
232
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,838
to whom no man is truly worthy.
233
00:17:29,869 --> 00:17:33,817
Peron de la Pena at your service, madame.
234
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,286
I think I'd better find my husband.
235
00:17:36,309 --> 00:17:38,118
You may call me Alfonso.
236
00:17:41,114 --> 00:17:43,594
The ugly American is betting on red!
237
00:17:43,616 --> 00:17:46,358
Red, baby! Red, baby! Red, red, red.
238
00:17:50,623 --> 00:17:52,603
Rouge.
239
00:17:52,625 --> 00:17:55,697
Yes! I love it, I love it, I love it.
240
00:17:55,729 --> 00:18:00,007
Bring it over here. Come on. Hey, I won it!
241
00:18:00,033 --> 00:18:01,410
I just want to make sure because I'm American.
242
00:18:01,434 --> 00:18:03,345
I know you hate Americans, but just remember...
243
00:18:03,369 --> 00:18:05,747
if it wasn't for us, you'd be speaking German right now!
244
00:18:05,772 --> 00:18:07,080
- So gimme my chips! Martini?
245
00:18:07,107 --> 00:18:11,214
- Yes! Martini, yes. - That's 100 bucks, buddy.
246
00:18:11,244 --> 00:18:13,622
That's a damn good tip for a martini, huh?
247
00:18:13,646 --> 00:18:15,125
All right, we're cooking now.
248
00:18:15,148 --> 00:18:17,059
Thank you, sir. This is for you, my dear.
249
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:19,222
Get a t-shirt for those, will you?
250
00:18:19,252 --> 00:18:21,232
Let's see, what's in my system?
251
00:18:21,254 --> 00:18:22,892
Hey! Keep your face out of my system.
252
00:18:22,922 --> 00:18:25,402
This cost me a fortune. Oh, boy, Marilyn...
253
00:18:25,425 --> 00:18:28,463
- This is working like a charm. - Hello, Neil.
254
00:18:28,495 --> 00:18:29,633
Voulez-vous miser, monsieur?
255
00:18:29,662 --> 00:18:35,340
Yes, I'm betting on black. American on black.
256
00:18:35,368 --> 00:18:36,813
Well, what do you think?
257
00:18:36,836 --> 00:18:38,645
It's not you, honey. It's not you, that's all.
258
00:18:38,671 --> 00:18:39,741
But that's what I like about it.
259
00:18:39,773 --> 00:18:42,549
Honey, you're hanging out all over the place!
260
00:18:42,575 --> 00:18:43,553
You're going to catch something.
261
00:18:43,576 --> 00:18:45,055
- What? - Rouge.
262
00:18:45,078 --> 00:18:50,494
Rouge? Rats! Honey, I knew you'd do that to me.
263
00:18:50,517 --> 00:18:53,123
Don't hang around, OK? You're jinxing me.
264
00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:55,793
The look is jinxing me. That thing's jinxing me.
265
00:18:55,822 --> 00:18:58,063
Go, go. Will you go? Go play the slots.
266
00:18:58,091 --> 00:19:00,002
Get a drink or something. Have fun.
267
00:19:00,026 --> 00:19:02,063
This is Monte Carlo! Come on, it's a gambling place.
268
00:19:02,095 --> 00:19:03,631
Change your clothes! Put a t-shirt on!
269
00:19:03,663 --> 00:19:06,007
Do you see the way she was hanging out...
270
00:19:06,032 --> 00:19:07,636
all over the place? Black, black, black!
271
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:11,945
The married woman. One of life's misunderstood creatures...
272
00:19:11,971 --> 00:19:14,144
to whom no man is truly worthy.
273
00:19:14,174 --> 00:19:16,654
- Do you like to gamble? - Yes.
274
00:19:16,676 --> 00:19:18,053
Do you have cash?
275
00:19:32,492 --> 00:19:36,497
II ne va plus.
276
00:19:36,529 --> 00:19:40,534
Dix-Sept. Nair. Un tellement.
277
00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:43,844
It's merely a game of chance.
278
00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:47,215
One gambles for the sake of gambling.
279
00:19:49,042 --> 00:19:51,613
- You pick a number. - Me?
280
00:19:51,644 --> 00:19:54,625
- You. - I don't know, I never did.
281
00:19:54,647 --> 00:19:57,150
- Of course, I'll lose anyway. - Really?
282
00:19:57,183 --> 00:19:58,662
- You can do me no harm. - You sure?
283
00:19:58,685 --> 00:20:03,657
- Really, I'm sure. - OK. 13.
284
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,169
-13? -It's no good?
285
00:20:05,191 --> 00:20:09,799
Oh, no. 13 is fine! Lucky 13.
286
00:20:12,999 --> 00:20:16,003
- You are American. - Yes. New Jersey.
287
00:20:16,035 --> 00:20:18,811
- Oh, I'm so sorry. -It's really not that bad.
288
00:20:18,838 --> 00:20:23,116
No, I mean I am sorry I have not introduced myself.
289
00:20:23,142 --> 00:20:26,715
I am Hercules Popodopoulos. From Athens.
290
00:20:26,746 --> 00:20:28,748
Marilyn Schwary. From Newark.
291
00:20:31,517 --> 00:20:35,192
- Treize. Noir. - Fantastic! We win!
292
00:20:35,221 --> 00:20:36,564
I won!
293
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:48,971
2,000 francs?
294
00:20:49,002 --> 00:20:51,243
I'm sorry. ls the amount not adequate?
295
00:20:51,271 --> 00:20:52,978
What, are you planning on bringing friends?
296
00:20:53,006 --> 00:20:56,351
Listen, maybe this is what hookers look like in Greece...
297
00:20:56,376 --> 00:20:59,585
but I'm no hooker, I'm a housewife. We do it for free!
298
00:20:59,612 --> 00:21:01,421
But, madame. Cherie, please.
299
00:21:01,447 --> 00:21:04,018
This is your share of the winnings.
300
00:21:04,050 --> 00:21:07,588
It is customary. I win...you benefit.
301
00:21:10,423 --> 00:21:18,001
Look, you must risk this marker on a turn of the wheel. Please?
302
00:21:18,031 --> 00:21:20,068
Please.
303
00:21:26,306 --> 00:21:27,751
Monsieur, faites un jeux.
304
00:21:27,774 --> 00:21:33,918
-13. 43?
305
00:21:39,185 --> 00:21:47,195
Rien ne va plus. Treize. Noir.
306
00:21:47,226 --> 00:21:50,605
Extraordinary! Again! I don't believe it!
307
00:21:50,630 --> 00:21:53,110
Nothing like this has ever happened to me!
308
00:21:53,132 --> 00:21:55,612
- You now have 70,000 francs. - In dollars.
309
00:21:55,635 --> 00:21:57,114
That is 14,000 American dollars.
310
00:21:57,136 --> 00:21:58,615
$14,000?
311
00:21:58,638 --> 00:22:04,782
- Monsieur, faites vos jeux. Madame, the table waits.
312
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,093
And if I bet it all on 13 again, I'll have...
313
00:22:11,117 --> 00:22:14,690
- Half a million dollars. - Half a million dollars!
314
00:22:14,721 --> 00:22:16,428
Or nothing.
315
00:22:16,456 --> 00:22:18,561
Monsieur, faites vos jeux.
316
00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:24,005
I can't.
317
00:22:24,030 --> 00:22:28,638
At the gaming table, as in life...
318
00:22:28,668 --> 00:22:31,547
risking all takes great courage.
319
00:22:37,076 --> 00:22:40,683
I'm going to shoot the works on 13.
320
00:22:40,713 --> 00:22:42,954
Madame, I admire your insouciance.
321
00:22:42,982 --> 00:22:45,189
It's the dress. It shows everything.
322
00:23:23,022 --> 00:23:27,493
I'm starving. If I had a barbecue, I'd eat the dog.
323
00:23:27,527 --> 00:23:30,007
Is that supposed to be funny?
324
00:23:30,029 --> 00:23:34,341
Oh! You're listening! You know, that's the first time...
325
00:23:34,367 --> 00:23:37,974
she actually spoke to me since we crossed the border?
326
00:23:44,710 --> 00:23:50,058
OK, look... let's call a truce. What do you say?
327
00:23:53,052 --> 00:23:56,522
OK, how's this for an idea-- we get the reward money...
328
00:23:56,556 --> 00:23:59,537
we come back here, I'll buy us a lovely dinner...
329
00:23:59,559 --> 00:24:01,038
a little champagne--
330
00:24:01,060 --> 00:24:04,371
Look, don't waste my time.
331
00:24:04,397 --> 00:24:07,037
There's absolutely no chance I'd get involved with you.
332
00:24:07,066 --> 00:24:08,977
It's beyond out of the question.
333
00:24:09,001 --> 00:24:12,539
This is a business deal. Let's stick to business.
334
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,820
Who said anything about getting involved?
335
00:24:15,842 --> 00:24:17,651
Sweetheart, I got news for you.
336
00:24:17,677 --> 00:24:20,055
I'm hot as a pistol, and the last thing I need...
337
00:24:20,079 --> 00:24:22,491
is to be seen with a woman wearing tights from Chernobyl.
338
00:24:22,515 --> 00:24:26,725
- Do you ever shut up? - Oh, what a wit.
339
00:24:27,753 --> 00:24:29,255
Rien ne va plus.
340
00:24:31,858 --> 00:24:34,839
What do I have to do to get a drink in this place?
341
00:24:34,861 --> 00:24:38,001
Fart the French national anthem?
342
00:24:38,030 --> 00:24:42,843
Black, baby. It's got to be black. Black, baby, come on.
343
00:24:42,869 --> 00:24:44,473
Vingt-trois, rouge.
344
00:24:44,504 --> 00:24:48,077
Rouge! Wait! Somebody moved my bet.
345
00:24:48,107 --> 00:24:49,347
I distinctly remember betting on red!
346
00:24:49,375 --> 00:24:50,353
Monsieur.
347
00:24:50,376 --> 00:24:51,480
- What? - Sir!
348
00:24:51,511 --> 00:24:54,253
Please lower your voice. You're in Monte Carlo.
349
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,487
- I know where I am. -10,000 each.
350
00:24:56,516 --> 00:24:57,790
Rollin', rollin'...
351
00:25:00,019 --> 00:25:01,726
All right, what's happening here?
352
00:25:01,754 --> 00:25:05,429
Morosco. Seize, rouge. Seize, rouge!
353
00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:08,439
Aw, rouge, I love ya, rouge!
354
00:25:08,461 --> 00:25:10,873
Hi. Remember me? I'm Neil Schwary.
355
00:25:10,897 --> 00:25:14,845
No! 36, 36, 3, and 4. A triangle!
356
00:25:14,867 --> 00:25:15,868
Get away from me. What are you doin' here?
357
00:25:15,902 --> 00:25:18,075
I was on the train. You had the dog.
358
00:25:18,104 --> 00:25:19,583
I had my wife. Remember?
359
00:25:19,605 --> 00:25:21,209
No! Beat it! Where did it land?
360
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:22,981
I'll take it! Leave it there!
361
00:25:23,009 --> 00:25:25,888
This my number! Buy a hat! There ya go!
362
00:25:25,912 --> 00:25:28,893
What's happening? Talk to me, folks! How am I doing?
363
00:25:28,915 --> 00:25:31,896
- Hello! Woo-Hoo! - You won that?
364
00:25:31,918 --> 00:25:34,296
Oh, this is mine! This is my night!
365
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,893
I'm rolling like a hunchback doing somersaults!
366
00:25:37,924 --> 00:25:40,905
- Yes! You're gambling! - Get away from me!
367
00:25:40,927 --> 00:25:42,406
What about Gamblers Anonymous?
368
00:25:42,428 --> 00:25:46,376
I'm in the power of a force much greater than myself!
369
00:25:46,399 --> 00:25:49,937
Yes. I know that feeling.
370
00:25:52,271 --> 00:25:59,814
-29! Splits. 100,000. - One hundred thew-please!
371
00:25:59,845 --> 00:26:02,883
- Please. I need your help. - Good-bye.
372
00:26:02,915 --> 00:26:04,223
Wait. Bet for me.
373
00:26:04,250 --> 00:26:05,524
I'll play the same numbers as you.
374
00:26:05,551 --> 00:26:08,532
- Good-bye! - I'm desperate!
375
00:26:08,554 --> 00:26:09,965
I'm compassionate. Give me your money.
376
00:26:10,056 --> 00:26:11,228
- I'm broke. - Bye.
377
00:26:11,257 --> 00:26:13,794
Wait! Lend me enough for the first bet. Please.
378
00:26:13,826 --> 00:26:15,635
I gambled away a fortune tonight.
379
00:26:15,661 --> 00:26:17,470
I might have to sell my business.
380
00:26:17,496 --> 00:26:19,476
You know how that is. You've been there. Please!
381
00:26:19,498 --> 00:26:21,478
All right. Stop groveling.
382
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:22,740
- I don't mind! - Stand up.
383
00:26:22,768 --> 00:26:24,645
You're a great man, Morosco.
384
00:26:24,670 --> 00:26:29,244
Tonight I'm going to make you a rich man, Neil Schwary.
385
00:26:29,275 --> 00:26:32,313
Yes! But first I must find the little boys' room.
386
00:26:32,345 --> 00:26:35,326
And lose precious time? Waiter! Bring this man a cup!
387
00:26:35,348 --> 00:26:37,828
- Uh-oh. - Who's that?
388
00:26:37,850 --> 00:26:42,094
- It's my wife. - My condolences.
389
00:26:43,889 --> 00:26:47,359
- Elena, darling. - Augie, what are you doing?
390
00:26:47,393 --> 00:26:50,840
I thought I'd just come to the casino and say hi to the staff.
391
00:26:50,863 --> 00:26:52,501
I thought maybe I'd lay down a little bet.
392
00:26:52,531 --> 00:26:55,774
-7 and 27 now! Yes! - You're incorrigible.
393
00:26:55,801 --> 00:26:58,111
You don't even come to the hotel.
394
00:26:58,137 --> 00:27:00,708
You get off the train and come directly here?
395
00:27:00,740 --> 00:27:04,984
No, Elena, you don't understand. I'm on a roll! Shoot the works!
396
00:27:05,011 --> 00:27:07,582
Yes! OK, I'm putting more on 7...
397
00:27:07,613 --> 00:27:11,220
Look at you-dirty, sweaty. You probably haven't eaten.
398
00:27:11,250 --> 00:27:14,959
Yes, I did! I ate a marker. Double the bet!
399
00:27:14,987 --> 00:27:17,831
Double the bet! Yes! These are mine.
400
00:27:17,857 --> 00:27:20,633
I don't know what to say to you anymore.
401
00:27:20,660 --> 00:27:22,230
I wait for you. You don't show up.
402
00:27:22,261 --> 00:27:23,763
Come to me, baby!
403
00:27:23,796 --> 00:27:25,969
I worry. I call the hospital, the police.
404
00:27:25,998 --> 00:27:28,171
I say to myself, he can't be at the casino.
405
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:34,242
- He promised me! - Come on! 7! Red! We win!
406
00:27:34,273 --> 00:27:37,152
- I can't believe it! - I've had enough.
407
00:27:37,176 --> 00:27:38,484
The gentleman's cup.
408
00:27:38,511 --> 00:27:40,513
Get a bigger cup! Don't insult the man!
409
00:27:40,546 --> 00:27:42,856
How do I compete with this addiction?
410
00:27:42,882 --> 00:27:46,853
-500,000 francs! -500,000 francs!
411
00:28:00,633 --> 00:28:03,978
Tonight we break the bank in Monte Carlo!
412
00:28:26,492 --> 00:28:31,965
- Try the gate. - Maybe she left it open for us?
413
00:28:31,997 --> 00:28:33,977
That doesn't make any sense.
414
00:28:33,999 --> 00:28:37,469
Come on, she must have, like, a $50,000 security system here.
415
00:28:37,503 --> 00:28:41,007
I mean, she's going to leave the front gate open?
416
00:29:27,987 --> 00:29:29,489
Madame Van Dougen!
417
00:29:41,634 --> 00:29:47,846
It's Julian Peters! And Phoebe. We brought your dog!
418
00:29:54,013 --> 00:29:55,492
Madame Van Dougen?
419
00:29:55,514 --> 00:29:58,495
Check out the side of the house.
420
00:29:58,517 --> 00:29:59,996
What, are you on crutches?
421
00:30:00,019 --> 00:30:01,862
Just check out the side of the house.
422
00:30:07,526 --> 00:30:10,996
I study acting 10 years...
423
00:30:11,030 --> 00:30:13,670
and wind up as a whipping boy for She-Demon.
424
00:30:20,873 --> 00:30:24,685
Oh, this whole Europe thing is a mistake.
425
00:30:24,710 --> 00:30:27,520
I could be at a Yankee game now.
426
00:30:27,546 --> 00:30:30,891
Instead, I'm checking out Freddy Krueger's villa.
427
00:30:37,056 --> 00:30:38,535
Madame Van Dougen!
428
00:30:44,897 --> 00:30:47,503
All right. OK.
429
00:31:04,783 --> 00:31:06,091
Phoebe.
430
00:31:15,694 --> 00:31:16,866
Over here.
431
00:31:23,035 --> 00:31:25,845
You could have at least left me a note.
432
00:31:25,871 --> 00:31:27,942
- There's a bracelet. - A what?
433
00:31:27,973 --> 00:31:29,884
- A bracelet. - Yeah?
434
00:31:35,214 --> 00:31:38,195
It is a bracelet. Very expensive bracelet.
435
00:31:38,217 --> 00:31:42,165
- Leave it. - Why?
436
00:31:42,187 --> 00:31:44,599
Because it doesn't belong to us.
437
00:31:44,623 --> 00:31:47,035
There could be a reward for this, too.
438
00:31:47,059 --> 00:31:48,766
This could be, like, a little cottage industry...
439
00:31:48,794 --> 00:31:50,774
returning shit to Madame Van Dougen.
440
00:31:50,796 --> 00:31:57,839
- OK. Pull. -It's stuck.
441
00:31:57,870 --> 00:31:59,247
Full harder.
442
00:32:03,676 --> 00:32:04,780
Is that what I think it is?
443
00:32:04,810 --> 00:32:07,416
- It's a hand. - A hand? What kind of hand?
444
00:32:07,446 --> 00:32:12,395
A hand attached to a dead body, that kind of hand.
445
00:32:12,418 --> 00:32:15,297
I've never seen a dead hand before!
446
00:32:15,321 --> 00:32:16,800
Get in line!
447
00:32:19,258 --> 00:32:21,829
I broke her fingers!
448
00:32:21,860 --> 00:32:23,669
Believe me, that's the least of our problems!
449
00:32:23,696 --> 00:32:27,508
- We gotta get out of here! - Is she dead?
450
00:32:27,533 --> 00:32:30,912
Come on! Now!
451
00:32:32,538 --> 00:32:35,018
Wait. My suitcase!
452
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,543
Well, then get it, but hurry!
453
00:32:40,546 --> 00:32:42,526
My suitcase.
454
00:32:42,548 --> 00:32:46,519
Oh, I'll go because I'm a man.
455
00:32:46,552 --> 00:32:49,055
Would you put a muzzle on that thing?
456
00:33:14,013 --> 00:33:15,993
Is this Versailles?
457
00:33:16,015 --> 00:33:20,828
I, uh...without my glasses, I'm as blind as a bat...
458
00:33:20,853 --> 00:33:25,029
but, hey, you know, as long as you have your health.
459
00:33:29,028 --> 00:33:31,702
Where is it? Where's my suitcase?
460
00:33:31,730 --> 00:33:33,505
Just a couple of feet past the killer.
461
00:33:33,532 --> 00:33:35,808
What do you mean? The killer's here?
462
00:33:35,834 --> 00:33:39,213
His eyes and feet are. I'm assuming the rest.
463
00:33:42,041 --> 00:33:44,214
Oh, after you.
464
00:33:50,215 --> 00:33:51,956
How much for the shoes?
465
00:33:51,984 --> 00:33:54,521
I am sorry, monsieur. Casino policy.
466
00:33:54,553 --> 00:33:57,397
We do not accept articles of clothing.
467
00:33:58,557 --> 00:34:02,801
- My heart! - My foot.
468
00:34:04,029 --> 00:34:06,737
Sir, could you get my tip back from that waiter?
469
00:34:06,765 --> 00:34:09,041
You seem like a nice guy.
470
00:34:09,068 --> 00:34:10,979
I lost everything! I cashed checks!
471
00:34:11,003 --> 00:34:12,812
I drained my bank accounts!
472
00:34:12,838 --> 00:34:14,818
I told him the only way to win at the casino...
473
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,012
is not to gamble.
474
00:34:16,041 --> 00:34:17,987
You also told me to cash my checks!
475
00:34:18,010 --> 00:34:20,991
What did you listen to me for? I'm a man with an illness.
476
00:34:21,013 --> 00:34:22,321
Don't let him die!
477
00:34:22,347 --> 00:34:24,486
I want the pleasure of killing him myself!
478
00:34:24,516 --> 00:34:25,824
- Is that so? - Yes!
479
00:34:25,851 --> 00:34:27,831
- Yes! - Is that so?
480
00:34:27,853 --> 00:34:30,390
What do you want to do, have a fist fight?
481
00:34:30,422 --> 00:34:33,699
Yeah! I want to kick your loser ass, Morosco!
482
00:34:33,726 --> 00:34:36,502
Come on, let's go! Your size don't scare me!
483
00:34:36,528 --> 00:34:39,509
All right! But not here in the promenade.
484
00:34:39,531 --> 00:34:43,001
- Why? Where, then? - You see that park over there?
485
00:34:43,035 --> 00:34:44,036
Where?
486
00:34:46,205 --> 00:34:49,049
Monsieur, venez!
487
00:34:49,074 --> 00:34:51,520
I think we should call the police!
488
00:34:51,543 --> 00:34:55,514
- Absolutely not! - Come on, there's been a murder!
489
00:34:55,547 --> 00:34:57,026
Phoebe, we could be suspects!
490
00:34:57,049 --> 00:35:00,360
We're not suspects. We're witnesses!
491
00:35:00,385 --> 00:35:04,492
We're foreigners. We're dead broke, desperate for money.
492
00:35:04,523 --> 00:35:06,525
We're bringing this rich woman's dog to a villa...
493
00:35:06,558 --> 00:35:10,096
at 1:00 in the morning. She doesn't answer.
494
00:35:10,129 --> 00:35:11,904
We find a bracelet 'cause we're snooping around.
495
00:35:11,930 --> 00:35:14,035
We pull on it. It leads to a hand.
496
00:35:14,066 --> 00:35:15,443
Who's gonna believe that story?
497
00:35:15,467 --> 00:35:16,969
Mother Teresa wouldn't even buy it!
498
00:35:17,002 --> 00:35:19,312
Forget about it. They'll handcuff us.
499
00:35:19,338 --> 00:35:20,442
They'll fingerprint us.
500
00:35:20,472 --> 00:35:21,974
They'll take us in for interrogation.
501
00:35:22,007 --> 00:35:25,045
Could we just move? Really.
502
00:35:25,077 --> 00:35:28,115
This is crazy. We haven't done anything wrong.
503
00:35:28,147 --> 00:35:30,821
Why are we running?
504
00:35:30,849 --> 00:35:34,387
You have any idea what the French legal system is like?
505
00:35:34,419 --> 00:35:37,593
It's a nightmare. We don't speak the language.
506
00:35:37,623 --> 00:35:39,000
We don't understand the rules.
507
00:35:39,024 --> 00:35:41,504
They'll get us some shitty public defender.
508
00:35:41,527 --> 00:35:45,270
We'll spend years in jail before the case goes to trial.
509
00:35:45,297 --> 00:35:46,833
Casting directors will always think of me...
510
00:35:46,865 --> 00:35:50,108
-as the Van Dougen murderer. - We have to call the police.
511
00:35:50,135 --> 00:35:53,014
If the killer's still there, we'll catch him...
512
00:35:53,038 --> 00:35:56,076
and then I can get my suitcase back.
513
00:36:08,353 --> 00:36:10,799
We won't identify ourselves.
514
00:36:10,823 --> 00:36:13,360
Once we read they've arrested somebody...
515
00:36:13,392 --> 00:36:14,564
then we'll come forward.
516
00:36:14,593 --> 00:36:16,800
I think that's the smartest thing.
517
00:36:16,829 --> 00:36:19,400
And don't ever kiss me that way again or any way.
518
00:36:19,431 --> 00:36:23,345
No kissing, period! Oh, God.
519
00:36:37,015 --> 00:36:39,655
- Toussaint. - I'd like to report a murder.
520
00:36:39,685 --> 00:36:41,096
- What?
521
00:36:45,357 --> 00:36:51,831
- Did you say...murder? -Yes. That's a-right, a murder.
522
00:36:51,864 --> 00:36:53,002
You're Italian?
523
00:36:53,031 --> 00:36:55,170
That's a-correct. I'm Italiano, si.
524
00:36:55,200 --> 00:37:00,616
- What's your name? - My name? Balboa. Rocky Balboa.
525
00:37:00,639 --> 00:37:04,177
So listen. The body-- it's at the Villa Van Dougen.
526
00:37:04,209 --> 00:37:06,849
Boulevard Kandinsky, Numero 17.
527
00:37:06,879 --> 00:37:08,688
- Come on! - And if you a-hurry...
528
00:37:08,714 --> 00:37:10,716
- You can a-catcha the killer. - Killer?
529
00:37:10,749 --> 00:37:14,788
Yes. I saw his a-feet. 2 of them.
530
00:37:14,820 --> 00:37:18,962
No, not 2 killers. 2 feet. I'm talking to an idiot.
531
00:37:18,991 --> 00:37:21,471
No, he is. They're tracing the call!
532
00:37:21,493 --> 00:37:23,473
- Ciao. - God!
533
00:37:23,495 --> 00:37:27,238
Well, excuse me. I panicked. I'm talking to the police!
534
00:37:27,266 --> 00:37:30,076
To me, every authority figure is still my vice principal.
535
00:37:30,102 --> 00:37:33,572
A letter would've been faster. God!
536
00:37:33,605 --> 00:37:35,812
Will you relax? I've worked in enough police films...
537
00:37:35,841 --> 00:37:40,517
to know they can't trace a phone call that quickly.
538
00:37:40,545 --> 00:37:42,354
So they weren't French.
539
00:37:53,725 --> 00:37:59,607
Oh, God. He's giving them a description. That's you.
540
00:37:59,631 --> 00:38:00,769
I wish.
541
00:38:02,067 --> 00:38:06,812
- Un petit chien. - The dog.
542
00:38:06,838 --> 00:38:08,215
We're dead. Let's go.
543
00:38:11,476 --> 00:38:14,821
I can't believe we lied to the police. I feel like a fugitive.
544
00:38:14,846 --> 00:38:15,984
It's like quicksand.
545
00:38:16,014 --> 00:38:17,994
The more you struggle, the deeper you sink.
546
00:38:18,016 --> 00:38:20,223
I'll tell you--if we keep walking around with this dog...
547
00:38:20,252 --> 00:38:21,322
we might as well wear t-shirts...
548
00:38:21,353 --> 00:38:23,094
that say, "Hi! We're the killers."
549
00:38:23,121 --> 00:38:27,001
You're right. I really hate to do this.
550
00:38:27,025 --> 00:38:30,495
- Sorry. Take care of yourself. - What did you do?
551
00:38:30,529 --> 00:38:34,944
I got rid of the dog. Let's go.
552
00:38:34,967 --> 00:38:36,844
You also got rid of our meal ticket.
553
00:38:36,868 --> 00:38:40,111
I could've sold him to that guy on the train. $6,000.
554
00:38:40,138 --> 00:38:41,446
My birth control pills.
555
00:38:41,473 --> 00:38:42,918
Never thought I'd actually say this...
556
00:38:42,941 --> 00:38:44,648
but there is a time and a place--
557
00:38:44,676 --> 00:38:46,656
- They're in my suitcase. - So?
558
00:38:46,678 --> 00:38:50,649
- My name's on the prescription. - You got a problem.
559
00:38:50,682 --> 00:38:53,993
- We have to go back. - What, are you insane?
560
00:38:54,019 --> 00:38:56,158
The police are probably swarming the place by now.
561
00:38:56,188 --> 00:38:58,327
If the police are still there, we'll leave.
562
00:38:58,357 --> 00:38:59,563
What about the killer?
563
00:38:59,591 --> 00:39:01,935
You think the killer's going to hang around all night?
564
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,497
I don't know what his social life's like.
565
00:39:04,529 --> 00:39:06,531
We have no choice. We have to go back.
566
00:39:06,565 --> 00:39:07,873
Let me be honest with you.
567
00:39:07,899 --> 00:39:09,845
It's been a very interesting 12 hours.
568
00:39:09,868 --> 00:39:12,109
I think you're a good chick down deep, very smart.
569
00:39:12,137 --> 00:39:13,343
But I wouldn't go back...
570
00:39:13,372 --> 00:39:15,978
if my birth control pills were there.
571
00:39:16,008 --> 00:39:20,115
- Fine. I'll go myself. -It's nothing personal.
572
00:39:20,145 --> 00:39:22,989
I just know that prison guards and me are not a good mix.
573
00:39:23,015 --> 00:39:27,327
I got it. So nice meeting you.
574
00:39:27,352 --> 00:39:29,525
Yeah, you, too. Good luck.
575
00:39:33,859 --> 00:39:35,202
Oh, God.
576
00:39:46,038 --> 00:39:51,351
She's going to leave me. I know she's going to leave me.
577
00:39:53,378 --> 00:39:56,518
Yeah, she's going to leave me. She'll divorce me.
578
00:39:56,548 --> 00:39:58,528
She won't take me, though...
579
00:39:58,550 --> 00:40:01,053
because I got nothing for her to take!
580
00:40:03,055 --> 00:40:04,557
She'll get remarried.
581
00:40:05,891 --> 00:40:11,534
Some handsome guy with a car and a car phone. Suits.
582
00:40:11,563 --> 00:40:17,536
Take her out for the anniversary of our divorce.
583
00:40:17,569 --> 00:40:20,379
She'll get remarried...
584
00:40:20,405 --> 00:40:24,046
and be happier than she ever was with me.
585
00:40:24,076 --> 00:40:30,186
And what do I become? Me--Neil Schwary?
586
00:40:30,215 --> 00:40:35,062
The flaky gambler... loser ex-husband.
587
00:40:35,087 --> 00:40:37,897
Yeah, I'll wear that the rest of my life.
588
00:40:45,263 --> 00:40:50,144
God, it's me--Neil Schwary. I really need your help.
589
00:40:50,168 --> 00:40:53,581
I know I'm not a church-going man, but if you want...
590
00:40:53,605 --> 00:40:57,781
I'll switch my golf games to Saturday. No sweat.
591
00:40:57,809 --> 00:41:01,222
Look, I know you don't perform a lot of miracles anymore...
592
00:41:01,246 --> 00:41:06,628
but, boy, what I wouldn't give for a suitcase full of cash.
593
00:41:21,466 --> 00:41:22,467
Thank you.
594
00:41:35,447 --> 00:41:40,192
- Hello, Neil. How'd you do? - Me?
595
00:41:40,218 --> 00:41:45,861
I'd say I broke about even.
596
00:41:45,891 --> 00:41:50,135
- What's that? - This?
597
00:41:50,162 --> 00:41:53,200
This, uh, is, uh...
598
00:41:53,231 --> 00:41:55,768
well, at one point, the casino ran out of money...
599
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,610
and they started giving out luggage.
600
00:41:58,637 --> 00:42:01,709
Giving out luggage? What are you talking about?
601
00:42:03,275 --> 00:42:10,989
Luggage. Bags. Suitcases. I stole it, OK?
602
00:42:11,016 --> 00:42:16,261
I didn't break even. I lost big. I lost everything--
603
00:42:16,288 --> 00:42:21,260
our trip money, our savings. Oh, Marilyn, I'm so sorry.
604
00:42:21,293 --> 00:42:24,365
Please find it in your heart to forgive me.
605
00:42:24,396 --> 00:42:28,276
I'll make it up to you, I swear. I'll do anything you ask.
606
00:42:28,300 --> 00:42:30,644
I'll listen to you when you talk.
607
00:42:30,669 --> 00:42:32,706
I'll look at your little drawings.
608
00:42:32,737 --> 00:42:33,875
I'll take you to the mall...
609
00:42:33,905 --> 00:42:35,907
and never point to my watch again.
610
00:42:35,941 --> 00:42:39,855
Anything you want. Foreplay. Anything.
611
00:42:39,878 --> 00:42:42,552
Just don't leave me. I don't think I can take it.
612
00:42:42,581 --> 00:42:46,051
Why, Neil, would you steal a suitcase?
613
00:42:46,084 --> 00:42:47,586
Answer, please.
614
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:53,191
I don't know. I don't know, Marilyn.
615
00:42:53,225 --> 00:42:55,899
I thought maybe there'd be something in it.
616
00:42:55,927 --> 00:43:00,239
- Cash. Something we could sell. - I have some money, Neil.
617
00:43:00,265 --> 00:43:03,075
Marilyn, you don't understand! Money?
618
00:43:03,101 --> 00:43:06,981
- Where'd you get money? - I put it aside...
619
00:43:07,005 --> 00:43:09,679
knowing in my heart what a fool you were...
620
00:43:09,708 --> 00:43:13,383
knowing you were capable of gambling away our trip money...
621
00:43:13,411 --> 00:43:16,051
knowing you had the self-destructive nature...
622
00:43:16,081 --> 00:43:19,062
to lose our savings and come crawling in here...
623
00:43:19,084 --> 00:43:22,429
with some lamebrain scheme to save your ass.
624
00:43:22,454 --> 00:43:24,695
You knew that about me?
625
00:43:25,724 --> 00:43:29,672
Marilyn. You're brilliant.
626
00:43:29,694 --> 00:43:31,833
Don't ever let me tell you you're anything less.
627
00:43:31,863 --> 00:43:34,434
You mean, like, don't ever let you call me pygmy brain again?
628
00:43:34,466 --> 00:43:37,276
Oh, Marilyn, how do you put up with me?
629
00:43:37,302 --> 00:43:40,044
You are an angel, sent from heaven.
630
00:43:40,071 --> 00:43:41,550
My brilliant, darling wife.
631
00:43:41,573 --> 00:43:43,519
How much money did you put aside?
632
00:43:43,541 --> 00:43:45,612
If you could lend me maybe just a portion...
633
00:43:45,644 --> 00:43:47,055
I could go back to the casino.
634
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:52,550
Stupid idea! God, you're beautiful.
635
00:43:52,584 --> 00:43:55,224
We have to return the suitcase, Neil.
636
00:43:55,253 --> 00:43:58,860
Yes! I know.
637
00:43:58,890 --> 00:44:01,131
You're taking this very well, Marilyn.
638
00:44:11,836 --> 00:44:14,680
What is it? Marilyn, what is it?
639
00:44:22,013 --> 00:44:27,588
Turn it off! Honey, you're not going to scream, OK?
640
00:44:27,619 --> 00:44:30,031
Don't scream, OK?
641
00:44:33,725 --> 00:44:35,204
Shut up.
642
00:44:35,226 --> 00:44:37,206
Shut up, Marilyn! Be quiet, please!
643
00:44:37,228 --> 00:44:40,209
Oh! Oh, my...
644
00:44:40,231 --> 00:44:41,676
What are you trying to do, kill me?
645
00:44:41,700 --> 00:44:43,008
Nu, ma-am'.!
646
00:44:43,034 --> 00:44:44,672
You want 2 dead women on your hands?
647
00:44:44,703 --> 00:44:45,773
No, definitely not!
648
00:44:45,804 --> 00:44:46,976
I can't breathe. I need a glass of water.
649
00:44:47,005 --> 00:44:50,612
- Get me a glass of water! - Water.
650
00:44:50,642 --> 00:44:52,883
How dare you! What an idiot!
651
00:44:52,911 --> 00:44:56,552
I guess you could say this vacation's shot to hell!
652
00:44:56,581 --> 00:45:00,620
- Oh, God. - What's wrong with this glass?
653
00:45:00,652 --> 00:45:04,065
We got to get out of here. Dead body parts!
654
00:45:04,089 --> 00:45:05,830
Calm down!
655
00:45:06,925 --> 00:45:08,427
Help me pack. We got to get out of here!
656
00:45:08,460 --> 00:45:12,465
Right! We'll leave the body here and get the hell out!
657
00:45:12,497 --> 00:45:14,875
- We're taking it with us. - Marilyn, don't be an idiot!
658
00:45:14,899 --> 00:45:16,640
You steal a suitcase with a dead woman inside...
659
00:45:16,668 --> 00:45:17,942
and you call me an idiot?
660
00:45:17,969 --> 00:45:19,107
We can't leave the body here.
661
00:45:19,137 --> 00:45:20,241
We're registered in this hotel!
662
00:45:20,271 --> 00:45:22,979
Right! Very smart! Good thinking!
663
00:45:23,007 --> 00:45:25,146
From now on, Neil, I call the shots.
664
00:45:25,176 --> 00:45:26,917
Understand? - Perfectly!
665
00:45:26,945 --> 00:45:29,516
I don't want to hear what you think we should do...
666
00:45:29,547 --> 00:45:31,049
or why you think we should do it.
667
00:45:31,082 --> 00:45:33,528
Shut up and take orders. Is that clear?
668
00:45:33,551 --> 00:45:34,552
Completely!
669
00:45:38,323 --> 00:45:41,634
- OK. So what do we do? - We'll ditch the body...
670
00:45:41,659 --> 00:45:43,536
hop a train, and blow this pop stand.
671
00:45:43,561 --> 00:45:44,869
I like it! I like it a lot!
672
00:45:44,896 --> 00:45:46,102
- Neil! - I'll shut up.
673
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:11,496
Look, OK, look, I don't know why I'm here.
674
00:46:11,523 --> 00:46:13,503
I don't know why I came back.
675
00:46:13,525 --> 00:46:17,405
I'm confused, but let's just get the damn suitcase and go.
676
00:46:17,429 --> 00:46:18,931
OK.
677
00:46:18,963 --> 00:46:21,500
No, no, no. You--you-- you better stay here...
678
00:46:21,533 --> 00:46:23,911
-just in case. - I'll be fine.
679
00:46:23,935 --> 00:46:25,437
No, really, you stay here.
680
00:46:25,470 --> 00:46:29,782
If anything should happen-- God forbid...
681
00:46:29,808 --> 00:46:34,154
- Run, OK? - OK.
682
00:46:36,815 --> 00:46:38,453
You know, feel free to talk me out of this...
683
00:46:38,483 --> 00:46:39,484
if you want.
684
00:46:45,023 --> 00:46:49,995
Julian...thanks.
685
00:47:15,820 --> 00:47:19,290
- Stop right there! Police! - Don't shoot! I'm an actor!
686
00:47:19,324 --> 00:47:20,803
What are you doing here?
687
00:47:20,825 --> 00:47:22,395
What am I doing here? What are you doing here?
688
00:47:22,427 --> 00:47:23,872
- How did you get in? - Through the gate.
689
00:47:23,895 --> 00:47:25,670
- It was open? -It's always open.
690
00:47:25,697 --> 00:47:27,904
- You've been here before? - No, I--
691
00:47:27,932 --> 00:47:31,675
- What are you trying to steal? - Steal? Nothing. I'm no thief.
692
00:47:31,703 --> 00:47:33,705
I'm certainly no murderer.
693
00:47:43,047 --> 00:47:46,460
Murder? Who said anything about murder?
694
00:47:46,484 --> 00:47:49,158
- I don't know. Stephen King. - Where's the body?
695
00:47:49,187 --> 00:47:50,996
I don't know. I only saw her hand.
696
00:47:51,022 --> 00:47:53,195
- Whose hand? - Madame Van Dougen's.
697
00:47:53,224 --> 00:47:54,828
How do you know it was Madame Van Dougen's?
698
00:47:54,859 --> 00:47:57,203
I'm just guessing. It's a common name.
699
00:47:57,228 --> 00:47:59,572
- Where's the body? - What am I, a mortician?
700
00:47:59,597 --> 00:48:02,578
- Where is the body? - In the garage.
701
00:48:12,577 --> 00:48:16,548
- What is this? - What, this?
702
00:48:16,581 --> 00:48:18,492
This is an ankle bracelet, actually.
703
00:48:18,516 --> 00:48:20,996
I like to wear it over my pants...
704
00:48:21,019 --> 00:48:23,499
or thrown kinda casually in the cuff...either way.
705
00:48:23,521 --> 00:48:26,502
It may be too trendy a look for you.
706
00:48:26,524 --> 00:48:28,731
And the initials on the clasp are yours?
707
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:30,501
Of course they're my initials.
708
00:48:30,528 --> 00:48:32,405
They're not the initials of my name, per se...
709
00:48:32,430 --> 00:48:34,410
but they have special meaning to me...
710
00:48:34,432 --> 00:48:36,708
something of personal significance.
711
00:48:36,734 --> 00:48:39,578
There are no initials.
712
00:48:39,604 --> 00:48:44,952
But I congratulate you on being a very fine actor.
713
00:48:47,779 --> 00:48:49,383
There is nothing.
714
00:48:49,414 --> 00:48:53,123
I believe you will need an attorney, monsieur.
715
00:48:53,151 --> 00:48:57,395
An attorney? What I need is an agent.
716
00:49:02,193 --> 00:49:05,197
Oh, boy.
717
00:49:22,380 --> 00:49:23,950
You see, Toussaint...
718
00:49:23,982 --> 00:49:27,486
guilt or innocence is quite often not the issue.
719
00:49:27,518 --> 00:49:30,499
Persuading the suspect to say what you want is.
720
00:49:30,521 --> 00:49:31,499
How so?
721
00:49:31,522 --> 00:49:34,002
Because they tend to lie anyway...
722
00:49:34,025 --> 00:49:36,801
even if they are blameless.
723
00:49:36,828 --> 00:49:40,708
It's human nature, the fear of self-incrimination.
724
00:49:42,033 --> 00:49:45,014
Only when they have painted themselves into a corner...
725
00:49:45,036 --> 00:49:48,017
or when you have carefully guided them there...
726
00:49:48,039 --> 00:49:50,519
do they point the finger in the proper direction.
727
00:49:50,541 --> 00:49:51,519
Put it away.
728
00:49:51,542 --> 00:49:52,816
- Inspector? - Fut it away.
729
00:49:52,844 --> 00:49:56,690
- Inspector, we have a witness. - Merci.
730
00:49:56,714 --> 00:50:00,685
Monsieur, I am Inspector Bonnard.
731
00:50:00,718 --> 00:50:03,096
Tell me, please, exactly what did you see?
732
00:50:03,121 --> 00:50:07,968
A man, a woman, and a dog. They went inside the gate.
733
00:50:07,992 --> 00:50:10,165
A few minutes later, they ran out...
734
00:50:10,194 --> 00:50:12,538
like their britches were on fire.
735
00:50:12,563 --> 00:50:17,808
- I see. What time was this? -1:00, 1:30.
736
00:50:19,570 --> 00:50:21,675
Look at this man's face.
737
00:50:23,074 --> 00:50:28,217
- Is this the man you saw? - Yes, this is he.
738
00:50:28,246 --> 00:50:29,850
This guy's blind.
739
00:50:29,881 --> 00:50:31,224
Were you here earlier in the evening?
740
00:50:31,249 --> 00:50:32,284
No.
741
00:50:32,316 --> 00:50:33,693
Are you traveling with a woman and a dog?
742
00:50:33,718 --> 00:50:34,696
No.
743
00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:36,460
Would you be able to identify the dog?
744
00:50:36,487 --> 00:50:38,228
Yes, of course. It was a dachshund.
745
00:50:38,256 --> 00:50:40,736
Good. So you've never been here before?
746
00:50:40,758 --> 00:50:42,032
You're traveling alone?
747
00:50:45,763 --> 00:50:50,508
We must find the dog. The dog is the key.
748
00:50:50,535 --> 00:50:52,572
Why would I want to kill somebody?
749
00:50:52,603 --> 00:50:55,880
- Be quiet. - You got the wrong guy.
750
00:50:55,907 --> 00:50:58,547
- Be quiet. - I heard you the first time.
751
00:50:58,576 --> 00:51:01,056
- What are you, a parrot? - You talk English?
752
00:51:01,079 --> 00:51:04,424
- Are you Charlie Chan? - Take him to the car.
753
00:51:08,186 --> 00:51:09,597
Pregnant.
754
00:51:11,556 --> 00:51:15,527
I, too, have a bracelet I'd like to show you.
755
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:18,541
I hope they fit, because it is my duty, monsieur...
756
00:51:18,563 --> 00:51:23,069
to inform you that you are under arrest on suspicion of murder.
757
00:51:36,781 --> 00:51:38,454
Get a porter!
758
00:51:44,722 --> 00:51:48,067
Oui, monsieur? Porter, come--come here.
759
00:51:48,092 --> 00:51:49,571
I got it.
760
00:51:49,594 --> 00:51:53,474
- Where is it going, monsieur? - Uh...Mar, where's it going?
761
00:51:53,498 --> 00:51:55,478
What's the longest trip it can take from this station?
762
00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:57,571
- Madrid. -It's going to Madrid.
763
00:51:57,602 --> 00:51:59,104
- That's too much money! - Fay him!
764
00:51:59,137 --> 00:52:02,744
Oh, God, I love you. I married a genius.
765
00:52:02,774 --> 00:52:04,447
Button your shirt. You look like your mother.
766
00:52:04,475 --> 00:52:05,783
I'm sorry.
767
00:52:07,779 --> 00:52:10,521
We're moving, Marilyn.
768
00:52:10,548 --> 00:52:14,291
We're moving. You did it. We're free!
769
00:52:14,318 --> 00:52:17,788
Monsieur, your suitcase was going on the wrong train.
770
00:52:17,822 --> 00:52:24,467
- Thank you very much. - Merci,but no, thank you.
771
00:52:53,224 --> 00:52:55,727
- Ne-c-put-- - What? Huh?
772
00:53:57,421 --> 00:54:01,062
A tunnel. How do you say in French?
773
00:54:01,092 --> 00:54:04,767
Les...tune-al... is la scary.
774
00:54:09,533 --> 00:54:11,535
You're brilliant.
775
00:54:15,973 --> 00:54:17,509
Anything to declare?
776
00:54:17,541 --> 00:54:21,250
Just my love and respect for your fine country.
777
00:54:21,279 --> 00:54:23,054
Vive la France!
778
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:24,525
Which one is your suitcase, monsieur?
779
00:54:28,552 --> 00:54:31,032
It's gone! It was right there.
780
00:54:31,055 --> 00:54:34,525
There's something fishy about this guy if you ask me.
781
00:54:34,558 --> 00:54:37,198
- This is my suitcase. - Open it, please.
782
00:54:37,228 --> 00:54:40,038
Sure. It's just a regular old suitcase.
783
00:54:40,064 --> 00:54:43,011
I got it for Christmas one year. Travel a lot with it.
784
00:54:43,034 --> 00:54:45,036
Let's see what we have in here.
785
00:54:45,069 --> 00:54:47,549
Same old things-- shirts, underwear, socks.
786
00:54:47,571 --> 00:54:50,711
Oh, honey, you didn't forget your diaphragm.
787
00:54:50,741 --> 00:54:54,883
- Whose suitcase is this? - I have no idea.
788
00:54:54,912 --> 00:54:57,051
I've never seen it before. Have you, darling?
789
00:54:57,081 --> 00:55:00,324
- The suitcase? No. Never. - Never.
790
00:55:00,351 --> 00:55:04,561
They're lying! I saw the porter give it to them.
791
00:55:04,588 --> 00:55:07,728
Look, this guy's been asleep through 6 countries.
792
00:55:07,758 --> 00:55:10,534
- He saw nothing. - Silence.
793
00:55:17,868 --> 00:55:21,008
I wouldn't open that if I were you.
794
00:55:21,038 --> 00:55:23,575
It has a very odd smell.
795
00:56:21,332 --> 00:56:25,303
- Peekaboo. - Good morning, Alfonso.
796
00:56:25,336 --> 00:56:26,974
What an invigorating morning, eh?
797
00:56:27,004 --> 00:56:29,985
And what an exciting woman you are.
798
00:56:30,007 --> 00:56:32,419
I must say you look particularly beautiful this morning...
799
00:56:32,443 --> 00:56:35,151
even more radiant than you did last night.
800
00:56:35,179 --> 00:56:37,659
- Alfonso. - I can't help myself.
801
00:56:37,681 --> 00:56:39,820
From the moment I first saw you...
802
00:56:39,850 --> 00:56:42,330
the light shimmering off your safety deposit box...
803
00:56:42,353 --> 00:56:43,923
- Alfonso... - My love?
804
00:56:43,954 --> 00:56:45,729
The strangest thing is happening.
805
00:56:45,756 --> 00:56:52,435
Yes, I know. I feel it also. 2 hearts beating as one.
806
00:56:52,463 --> 00:56:55,501
Out there, Alfonso, out there.
807
00:56:55,533 --> 00:56:57,035
Out there?
808
00:57:03,808 --> 00:57:06,345
That woman is trying to kill a dog.
809
00:57:06,377 --> 00:57:08,357
Call the police.
810
00:57:08,379 --> 00:57:10,552
Call the police. You heard madame.
811
00:57:10,581 --> 00:57:12,686
And a bottle of champagne.
812
00:57:12,675 --> 00:57:14,916
How long have you been the maid and butler...
813
00:57:20,629 --> 00:57:22,233
for Madame Van Dougen?
814
00:57:22,264 --> 00:57:24,471
-31 years. -32 in May.
815
00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:28,004
You always leave her here alone at night?
816
00:57:28,037 --> 00:57:31,575
Never. We've been here every week night for 31 years.
817
00:57:31,607 --> 00:57:33,143
32 in May.
818
00:57:33,175 --> 00:57:35,746
What about last night? You weren't here.
819
00:57:35,778 --> 00:57:37,758
- No. - No? Why not?
820
00:57:37,780 --> 00:57:39,589
We got a call earlier in the day.
821
00:57:39,615 --> 00:57:41,686
- About my sister. - It was a man.
822
00:57:41,717 --> 00:57:44,254
He said Brenda had been in a car accident...
823
00:57:44,286 --> 00:57:48,257
in Saint Cloud Sur Mer. We left on the 7:50 train.
824
00:57:48,290 --> 00:57:50,361
Was your sister badly injured?
825
00:57:50,392 --> 00:57:51,928
- No. - There was no accident.
826
00:57:51,961 --> 00:57:54,271
The phone call was just a stupid hoax.
827
00:57:54,296 --> 00:57:56,105
Perhaps to get us out of the house.
828
00:57:56,131 --> 00:57:58,111
- Perhaps. Sit down. -Inspector?
829
00:57:58,133 --> 00:57:59,111
- Sit down. - Of course.
830
00:57:59,134 --> 00:58:01,774
You left the villa at what time?
831
00:58:01,804 --> 00:58:02,782
-6:30.
832
00:58:02,805 --> 00:58:04,807
And what did you do before you departed?
833
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:07,787
We prepared Madame Van Dougen's evening meal--
834
00:58:07,810 --> 00:58:11,280
a little minestrone soup, some cheese toast.
835
00:58:11,313 --> 00:58:15,386
- You did nothing else? - No, nothing.
836
00:58:15,417 --> 00:58:18,330
Everything seemed normal to you before you left?
837
00:58:18,354 --> 00:58:19,992
Completely.
838
00:58:20,022 --> 00:58:21,365
Madame.
839
00:58:22,992 --> 00:58:24,562
Madame Van Dougen lived...
840
00:58:24,593 --> 00:58:27,233
with her daughter or granddaughter, correct?
841
00:58:27,262 --> 00:58:29,264
Oh, no. She lived alone.
842
00:58:30,532 --> 00:58:33,604
Then to whom do these belong?
843
00:58:35,437 --> 00:58:38,111
To Madame Van Dougen.
844
00:58:44,713 --> 00:58:46,590
You see, she was quite petite.
845
00:58:46,615 --> 00:58:48,617
That's why she liked everything around her...
846
00:58:48,651 --> 00:58:50,426
-to be so small... - Hot, hot, hot!
847
00:58:50,452 --> 00:58:55,595
- Including her doggy. - The dachshund.
848
00:58:55,624 --> 00:58:59,265
Madame Van Dougen lost him a week ago in Rome.
849
00:58:59,294 --> 00:59:02,298
2 Americans found him and were supposed to return him...
850
00:59:02,331 --> 00:59:03,605
yesterday evening.
851
00:59:03,632 --> 00:59:06,772
- A man and a woman? - Yes.
852
00:59:06,802 --> 00:59:10,113
Tell me, have you ever heard of a man...
853
00:59:10,139 --> 00:59:15,179
-named Augie Morosco? - No, never.
854
00:59:23,786 --> 00:59:26,767
Very good. I'll be right there.
855
00:59:28,123 --> 00:59:31,161
We have found the elusive dachshund.
856
00:59:36,265 --> 00:59:37,767
Monsieur commissaire.
857
00:59:43,005 --> 00:59:44,746
She was trying to drown the dog.
858
00:59:44,773 --> 00:59:47,652
That's not true! I was giving him a bath!
859
00:59:51,914 --> 00:59:53,757
- Is this your dachshund? - Yes, it is.
860
00:59:53,782 --> 00:59:54,760
He has a name?
861
00:59:54,783 --> 00:59:56,854
Yes. A great name, as a matter of fact.
862
00:59:56,885 --> 01:00:00,264
Sparky. His name is Sparky.
863
01:00:00,289 --> 01:00:02,132
I named him after a dog that I loved...
864
01:00:02,157 --> 01:00:04,637
that got run over by a truck. I was 11, but--
865
01:00:04,660 --> 01:00:06,003
- Call him. - Hmm?
866
01:00:06,028 --> 01:00:09,601
- Call the dog. - Sparky.
867
01:00:17,806 --> 01:00:23,017
Up, fella. Come on.
868
01:00:23,045 --> 01:00:24,547
Move, Sparky!
869
01:00:28,917 --> 01:00:31,124
Deaf. Very deaf.
870
01:00:31,153 --> 01:00:35,533
- The dog can't hear. - Send them in.
871
01:00:42,264 --> 01:00:43,937
Napoleon!
872
01:00:46,068 --> 01:00:50,574
- Dear Lord, he can hear! - My little love.
873
01:00:50,606 --> 01:00:51,778
Oh, baby.
874
01:00:57,412 --> 01:00:59,221
Thank you very much.
875
01:00:59,248 --> 01:01:01,592
Please wait in the corridor.
876
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:07,630
It's a miracle.
877
01:01:08,957 --> 01:01:11,801
What are you doing in Monte Carlo, mademoiselle?
878
01:01:11,827 --> 01:01:14,433
I'm...a tourist.
879
01:01:14,463 --> 01:01:16,773
I just wanted to check out Monte Carlo.
880
01:01:16,799 --> 01:01:19,245
I'd heard a lot about it, but I never really understood...
881
01:01:19,268 --> 01:01:21,544
if it was a part of France or what.
882
01:01:21,570 --> 01:01:23,516
It's nice. I like it a lot.
883
01:01:23,539 --> 01:01:25,576
Unbelievably clean, like Disney World.
884
01:01:25,607 --> 01:01:28,781
And are you in Monte Carlo alone?
885
01:01:28,811 --> 01:01:32,418
That depends. What did you have in mind?
886
01:01:32,447 --> 01:01:33,585
Answer the question!
887
01:01:33,615 --> 01:01:36,562
I'm sorry. I'm so nervous. What was the question?
888
01:01:36,585 --> 01:01:41,227
I want the truth.
889
01:01:41,256 --> 01:01:45,727
The truth is, he is my dog, but just since yesterday.
890
01:01:45,761 --> 01:01:47,240
That's when I found him.
891
01:01:47,262 --> 01:01:49,868
So he was my dog, but just for a day.
892
01:01:59,341 --> 01:02:01,981
Do you know this man?
893
01:02:02,010 --> 01:02:06,390
Uh, this man? No. No, I don't.
894
01:02:06,415 --> 01:02:09,191
Do you know this woman?
895
01:02:09,218 --> 01:02:10,925
Never saw her before in my life.
896
01:02:10,953 --> 01:02:13,263
Then why was her picture in your wallet?
897
01:02:13,288 --> 01:02:14,699
Her picture comes with every wallet.
898
01:02:14,723 --> 01:02:17,363
Be silent. if you want to play games, we'll go to the casino.
899
01:02:17,392 --> 01:02:19,531
You had my picture in your wallet?
900
01:02:19,561 --> 01:02:23,202
You are both suspects in a murder case.
901
01:02:23,232 --> 01:02:26,702
Everything you told me is lies, one after the other.
902
01:02:26,735 --> 01:02:29,215
You are the American couple...
903
01:02:29,238 --> 01:02:32,310
who was returning Madame Van Dougen's dog, right?
904
01:02:32,341 --> 01:02:36,517
He said not to tell the truth because you wouldn't believe us.
905
01:02:36,545 --> 01:02:40,015
See, Julian? It's fine. They know who we are.
906
01:02:40,048 --> 01:02:45,999
God, what a relief. I was getting so panicked.
907
01:02:46,021 --> 01:02:48,331
Well, we'll get out of your hair.
908
01:02:48,357 --> 01:02:49,859
You got things on your plate.
909
01:02:49,892 --> 01:02:51,235
You got a murder to solve.
910
01:02:51,260 --> 01:02:52,739
We're not quite finished.
911
01:02:54,763 --> 01:02:59,735
We found this matchbook by Madame Van Dougen's garage.
912
01:02:59,768 --> 01:03:05,912
On it is written the name Augie Morosco. L'Hotel de Paris.
913
01:03:05,941 --> 01:03:08,785
- Is this your matchbook? - No. I don't even smoke.
914
01:03:08,810 --> 01:03:11,120
Just now in the hall he asked for a cigarette.
915
01:03:11,146 --> 01:03:14,616
I smoke occasionally, like when I'm arrested.
916
01:03:14,650 --> 01:03:17,256
Look, it is my matchbook. I got it from a man on a train.
917
01:03:17,286 --> 01:03:20,699
Inspector, we found their accomplices.
918
01:03:20,722 --> 01:03:24,864
- Take them away. - Come on. Let's go.
919
01:03:24,893 --> 01:03:26,201
Accomplices?
920
01:03:27,195 --> 01:03:29,641
I'm getting claustrophobic in here!
921
01:03:29,665 --> 01:03:33,169
You got to let me out! Let me out of here, man!
922
01:03:33,201 --> 01:03:35,704
Man! You call this a police car?
923
01:03:35,737 --> 01:03:38,115
I had a boil removed from my ass bigger than this!
924
01:03:38,140 --> 01:03:39,414
Put a lid on it, Neil.
925
01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:43,082
This sort of thing will kill your tourism industry, pal!
926
01:03:43,111 --> 01:03:46,058
Once your tourism falls, your economy collapses...
927
01:03:46,081 --> 01:03:47,719
and then what's the Prince going to do?
928
01:03:47,749 --> 01:03:49,729
He's going to have to get a real job!
929
01:03:49,751 --> 01:03:51,628
He's going to be bummed about that!
930
01:03:54,022 --> 01:03:57,526
Get your French paws off me! I got all your badge numbers.
931
01:03:57,559 --> 01:03:59,232
You're all going to be named in a major lawsuit!
932
01:03:59,261 --> 01:04:00,740
Neil, will you shut up!
933
01:04:00,762 --> 01:04:02,742
I demand to see the American Consul.
934
01:04:02,764 --> 01:04:04,243
I demand our legal rights.
935
01:04:04,266 --> 01:04:06,746
We are citizens of the United States of America.
936
01:04:06,768 --> 01:04:09,442
- Think about that! - Think about this!
937
01:04:09,471 --> 01:04:11,109
Think about spending the rest of your life...
938
01:04:11,139 --> 01:04:13,380
in a cell 6 feet by 8 feet...
939
01:04:13,408 --> 01:04:15,547
surrounded by the dregs of humanity.
940
01:04:15,577 --> 01:04:19,855
- Think about that. - You don't scare me.
941
01:04:19,881 --> 01:04:21,986
You got nothing on us.
942
01:04:22,017 --> 01:04:25,226
Nothing? You were stopped by Customs with a dead body...
943
01:04:25,253 --> 01:04:28,962
chopped up in your suitcase. You call that nothing?
944
01:04:28,991 --> 01:04:31,665
All right, I'll give you that...
945
01:04:31,693 --> 01:04:33,195
but that doesn't mean we killed her.
946
01:04:33,228 --> 01:04:35,037
That suitcase isn't even ours.
947
01:04:35,063 --> 01:04:38,704
Sir, we have no idea who the dead woman is...
948
01:04:38,734 --> 01:04:41,476
or how she got into that suitcase.
949
01:04:41,503 --> 01:04:42,743
I want the whole story.
950
01:04:42,771 --> 01:04:44,682
Leave out nothing. I want every detail.
951
01:04:44,706 --> 01:04:47,710
Sit down. Toussaint.
952
01:04:47,743 --> 01:04:52,988
OK, all right. My name is Neil Schwary...
953
01:04:53,015 --> 01:04:55,894
- And this is my wife Marilyn. - Enchante.
954
01:04:55,917 --> 01:04:59,729
I'm in the clothing business. I come to Europe twice a year.
955
01:04:59,755 --> 01:05:01,735
I look at all the big labels...
956
01:05:01,757 --> 01:05:07,230
the Armanis, Chanels, Versaces, and I buy a few of them...
957
01:05:07,262 --> 01:05:09,742
improve on them a little bit...
958
01:05:09,765 --> 01:05:12,336
and then knock them off for a third of the price.
959
01:05:12,367 --> 01:05:15,246
My wife usually doesn't travel with me...
960
01:05:15,270 --> 01:05:17,580
but this being our 10th anniversary--
961
01:05:17,606 --> 01:05:19,381
I thought it was a wonderful opportunity...
962
01:05:19,408 --> 01:05:21,183
to see your very beautiful country--
963
01:05:21,209 --> 01:05:22,882
and it is very beautiful.
964
01:05:22,911 --> 01:05:25,755
Oh, yeah. You French really do it up right.
965
01:05:25,781 --> 01:05:28,591
Confine yourself to the facts, not the bullshit.
966
01:05:56,812 --> 01:05:59,725
Monsieur Morosco, your flowers.
967
01:05:59,748 --> 01:06:03,059
Merci, Joubert'. And my wife?
968
01:06:03,085 --> 01:06:05,224
She's having breakfast at the Cafe de Paris.
969
01:06:05,253 --> 01:06:08,063
Very good. What kind of mood is she in?
970
01:06:08,090 --> 01:06:10,400
- Mood? - Did she have weapons?
971
01:06:10,425 --> 01:06:12,234
Roses won't stop a bullet.
972
01:06:12,260 --> 01:06:15,730
- She seemed relaxed. - Relaxed? Interesting.
973
01:06:15,764 --> 01:06:17,266
Merci, Joubert'.
974
01:06:28,577 --> 01:06:34,186
Oh, darling, thank you. They're beautiful.
975
01:06:34,216 --> 01:06:38,392
You're looking much better than you did last night.
976
01:06:38,420 --> 01:06:40,832
That's because today I'm a new man.
977
01:06:40,856 --> 01:06:43,894
Next time it won't be gas. It will be the real thing.
978
01:06:43,925 --> 01:06:45,734
Such devotion.
979
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:55,480
Oh, Elena, last night changed my life.
980
01:06:55,504 --> 01:06:59,145
This time I'm cured. I'll never gamble again...
981
01:06:59,174 --> 01:07:01,848
not if it means losing the woman I love.
982
01:07:01,877 --> 01:07:05,484
Augie, did you know Madame Van Dougen?
983
01:07:05,514 --> 01:07:07,084
That reptile? Of course I knew her.
984
01:07:07,115 --> 01:07:09,823
3 months ago in baccarat, she won a fortune from me.
985
01:07:09,851 --> 01:07:12,764
- I could have killed her. - Somebody did.
986
01:07:12,787 --> 01:07:16,132
They found her body in a suitcase hacked to pieces.
987
01:07:16,158 --> 01:07:18,934
- Murder? - No, suicide.
988
01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:21,065
Of course it was murder.
989
01:07:21,096 --> 01:07:23,838
They arrested 4 Americans in the case.
990
01:07:23,865 --> 01:07:26,505
They're still looking for the mastermind.
991
01:07:40,715 --> 01:07:41,955
- Get away from me. -Inspector?
992
01:07:41,983 --> 01:07:45,157
- Get away from me. - Of course.
993
01:07:53,562 --> 01:07:57,908
Don't worry, Madame Schwary. It is now empty.
994
01:07:59,167 --> 01:08:01,408
Sit down.
995
01:08:01,436 --> 01:08:05,680
- Don't we have rights? - Do you know these two?
996
01:08:05,707 --> 01:08:08,210
- Never seen them before. - Me, either.
997
01:08:09,611 --> 01:08:15,220
- And you? - Hey, you found my suitcase!
998
01:08:15,250 --> 01:08:18,254
It looks like my suitcase. I'm not exactly sure.
999
01:08:18,286 --> 01:08:21,597
Thank you. You may go now.
1000
01:08:22,591 --> 01:08:25,572
By the way, love the gruel.
1001
01:08:25,594 --> 01:08:27,130
Come on.
1002
01:08:27,162 --> 01:08:29,642
Inspector, we would've come to the police right away...
1003
01:08:29,664 --> 01:08:32,008
but we were just so afraid.
1004
01:08:32,033 --> 01:08:35,845
Madame Schwary, you have every reason to be afraid.
1005
01:08:35,870 --> 01:08:40,478
Wait a minute. I couldn't have done it.
1006
01:08:40,508 --> 01:08:43,284
At the time this woman was murdered...
1007
01:08:43,311 --> 01:08:45,484
I was with somebody else.
1008
01:08:45,513 --> 01:08:47,789
The guy I told you about-the gambler.
1009
01:08:47,816 --> 01:08:53,596
Yes, the gambler. And you have a name for this gambler?
1010
01:08:53,622 --> 01:09:00,096
- Morosco. Augie Morosco. - Morosco? Who is this guy?
1011
01:09:00,128 --> 01:09:02,608
It's a long story.
1012
01:09:02,631 --> 01:09:09,014
Now it all falls into place. Augie Morosco is our mastermind.
1013
01:09:17,078 --> 01:09:19,285
You're a gambler, Monsieur Morosco?
1014
01:09:19,314 --> 01:09:21,555
Used to be, years ago.
1015
01:09:21,583 --> 01:09:22,755
Did you know Madame Van Dougen?
1016
01:09:22,784 --> 01:09:25,264
I did. Dream of a woman. Sent from heaven.
1017
01:09:25,287 --> 01:09:27,062
Too good for this world.
1018
01:09:27,088 --> 01:09:31,264
3 weeks ago at the casino, you attempted to sit on her head.
1019
01:09:31,293 --> 01:09:34,137
She was cold and without a hat.
1020
01:09:35,330 --> 01:09:36,900
Come with me.
1021
01:09:45,907 --> 01:09:47,614
Do you know these two?
1022
01:09:52,047 --> 01:09:54,323
No, I don't.
1023
01:09:54,349 --> 01:09:56,022
You are absolutely certain?
1024
01:09:59,154 --> 01:10:01,998
Come to think of it, I do know them.
1025
01:10:02,023 --> 01:10:05,664
I met them on the train. I almost bought their dog.
1026
01:10:05,694 --> 01:10:08,265
Do you know whose dog that was?
1027
01:10:08,296 --> 01:10:10,776
- Yours? - Madame Van Dougen's.
1028
01:10:10,799 --> 01:10:14,804
- Another coincidence? - I guess.
1029
01:10:19,441 --> 01:10:21,614
Do you know these two?
1030
01:10:26,781 --> 01:10:29,660
- No? - No, I don't.
1031
01:10:29,684 --> 01:10:32,096
They were found with Madame Van Dougen's body...
1032
01:10:32,120 --> 01:10:33,258
in a suitcase.
1033
01:10:33,288 --> 01:10:36,098
Well, that's illogical. Why would anybody...
1034
01:10:36,124 --> 01:10:39,264
want to crawl inside a suitcase with a corpse?
1035
01:10:41,563 --> 01:10:47,036
- So, you don't know them? - No, I don't know them.
1036
01:10:48,536 --> 01:10:50,538
Interesting.
1037
01:10:54,409 --> 01:10:55,752
Thank you.
1038
01:10:57,278 --> 01:10:59,758
That man claims just the opposite.
1039
01:10:59,781 --> 01:11:01,783
He says he was with you...
1040
01:11:01,816 --> 01:11:03,762
at the time the crime was committed.
1041
01:11:03,785 --> 01:11:05,264
Well, I'm afraid that's impossible.
1042
01:11:05,286 --> 01:11:07,892
How do you know? I haven't told you...
1043
01:11:07,922 --> 01:11:09,663
what time the crime was committed.
1044
01:11:10,859 --> 01:11:12,338
Point well taken.
1045
01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:15,204
What time was the crime committed?
1046
01:11:15,230 --> 01:11:18,677
Last night between 1:00 and 1:30.
1047
01:11:18,700 --> 01:11:23,274
Between 1:00 and 1:30.
1048
01:11:29,744 --> 01:11:32,224
It just so happens at that hour...
1049
01:11:32,247 --> 01:11:35,717
I was in my hotel making love to my wife.
1050
01:11:35,750 --> 01:11:38,663
I know this for a fact, because her screams of ecstasy...
1051
01:11:38,686 --> 01:11:42,429
woke up the neighborhood. Somebody actually shouted out...
1052
01:11:42,457 --> 01:11:45,438
"it's between 1:00 and 1:30 in the morning!
1053
01:11:45,460 --> 01:11:51,604
Give the poor woman a break!" And so I did.
1054
01:11:51,633 --> 01:11:54,273
You wish to stand by that story?
1055
01:11:54,302 --> 01:11:58,079
- Oh, yes. It's a good story. - Very well.
1056
01:11:58,106 --> 01:12:01,747
I plan to investigate every detail.
1057
01:12:01,776 --> 01:12:04,950
I will hold your passport for another 48 hours.
1058
01:12:04,979 --> 01:12:07,459
You can keep it. I have lots.
1059
01:12:13,455 --> 01:12:16,629
You see, he thought he was dealing with an idiot.
1060
01:12:16,658 --> 01:12:20,231
- He thought he had me trapped. - And what did you do?
1061
01:12:20,261 --> 01:12:22,241
I gave myself an ironclad alibi.
1062
01:12:22,263 --> 01:12:26,234
I told him at the time of the murder, I was in bed with you.
1063
01:12:26,267 --> 01:12:27,746
But you weren't in bed with me.
1064
01:12:27,769 --> 01:12:30,716
I know I wasn't, but you're the only one who knows...
1065
01:12:30,738 --> 01:12:31,739
I wasn't in bed with you...
1066
01:12:31,773 --> 01:12:34,253
and that is the beauty of my alibi.
1067
01:12:34,275 --> 01:12:35,754
What if the police question me?
1068
01:12:35,777 --> 01:12:39,156
If they question you, you say I was in bed with you.
1069
01:12:39,180 --> 01:12:41,922
But if the police investigate, they'll discover...
1070
01:12:41,950 --> 01:12:43,861
it wasn't you I was in bed with.
1071
01:12:52,093 --> 01:12:55,438
Augie, how do you expect me to behave?
1072
01:12:55,463 --> 01:12:58,933
I was angry and hurt. I'm sick of your gambling.
1073
01:12:58,967 --> 01:13:00,947
First you run through your father's money...
1074
01:13:00,969 --> 01:13:02,971
till he died of a broken heart.
1075
01:13:03,004 --> 01:13:05,484
The man weighed 600 pounds and ran a marathon.
1076
01:13:05,507 --> 01:13:07,384
And now you've run through half my money.
1077
01:13:07,408 --> 01:13:10,787
Gambling is your true love, not me.
1078
01:13:10,812 --> 01:13:11,984
Madame.
1079
01:13:13,481 --> 01:13:17,952
Augie, darling, I'm so ashamed.
1080
01:13:17,986 --> 01:13:21,934
I've done something terrible. But you see, the truth is--
1081
01:13:21,956 --> 01:13:26,427
You don't understand. I just lost my alibi.
1082
01:13:26,461 --> 01:13:29,340
Is that all that's bothering you?
1083
01:13:30,665 --> 01:13:33,908
Don't you see? If I'm caught lying...
1084
01:13:33,935 --> 01:13:35,073
they'll think I killed the little--
1085
01:13:35,103 --> 01:13:37,606
You can relax. I'll make sure your alibi's secure.
1086
01:13:37,639 --> 01:13:40,916
No one will know it wasn't you in my bed last night.
1087
01:13:40,942 --> 01:13:46,688
You'd do that for me? Elena, I'm not worthy of you.
1088
01:13:46,714 --> 01:13:51,527
- I'm beginning to agree. - I am famished. Let's eat.
1089
01:13:55,123 --> 01:13:58,070
- A tout a l'heure. -Bonsoir, Alfonso.
1090
01:14:05,333 --> 01:14:07,813
- He's the one? - Augie, please.
1091
01:14:07,835 --> 01:14:11,305
He's very handsome. What is he, a bullfighter?
1092
01:14:11,339 --> 01:14:14,377
- Don't do something crazy. - You've got that backwards.
1093
01:14:14,409 --> 01:14:16,821
I'd be crazy not to do something.
1094
01:14:21,983 --> 01:14:27,160
Hey, you! Yes, you. You slept with my wife, didn't you?
1095
01:14:27,188 --> 01:14:29,896
- That depends. Who's your wife? - Elena. Last night. Remember?
1096
01:14:29,924 --> 01:14:33,667
- Elena. She's married to you? - That's right, casanova.
1097
01:14:33,695 --> 01:14:35,675
We had a couple of drinks. Nothing happened.
1098
01:14:35,697 --> 01:14:39,235
- A chat. A talk. Adios. - She told me all about it.
1099
01:14:39,267 --> 01:14:41,247
OK, tan boy, you're coming with me.
1100
01:14:41,269 --> 01:14:44,614
Please do not harm me. I beg you. My face is my fortune.
1101
01:14:49,777 --> 01:14:52,087
I've had 92 professional fights.
1102
01:14:52,113 --> 01:14:55,583
Only 2 have been with men. I lost both of them.
1103
01:14:55,617 --> 01:15:00,589
Alfonso, how do you do that voodoo that you do so well?
1104
01:15:00,622 --> 01:15:03,694
- I have my secrets, Augusto. - I'm sure you do.
1105
01:15:03,725 --> 01:15:08,231
- Elena, you remember Alfonso. - Hello, Alfonso.
1106
01:15:08,262 --> 01:15:10,105
Turns out to be a sweetheart of a guy...
1107
01:15:10,131 --> 01:15:12,042
and he's going to back up my alibi.
1108
01:15:12,066 --> 01:15:15,411
- Sit, sit, sit, sit. Come on. - How nice for you.
1109
01:15:15,436 --> 01:15:19,509
Isn't it? Now, Al, so that we don't get our wires crossed...
1110
01:15:19,540 --> 01:15:21,679
what time did you say you arrived in my room?
1111
01:15:21,709 --> 01:15:23,780
-11:30ish. - And then what happened?
1112
01:15:23,811 --> 01:15:27,918
- Well, Elena and I began to-- - Skip the details.
1113
01:15:27,949 --> 01:15:30,657
- What time were you through? - You're demented, Augie.
1114
01:15:30,685 --> 01:15:32,596
I've got to get the facts straight.
1115
01:15:32,620 --> 01:15:36,090
So what time did you wrap things up, uh, 11:45?
1116
01:15:36,124 --> 01:15:40,300
12:00. Uh, 12:30. Closer to 1:00.
1117
01:15:41,663 --> 01:15:50,208
An hour and a half? How can you do it for an hour and a half?
1118
01:15:50,238 --> 01:15:55,517
- So then what? - I heard footsteps at the door.
1119
01:15:55,543 --> 01:15:58,786
Naturally I assumed that it was you, so I left immediately.
1120
01:15:58,813 --> 01:16:02,192
- Did anyone see you? - No. I went through the window.
1121
01:16:02,216 --> 01:16:05,493
- What about room service? - You ordered up room service?
1122
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:06,931
Ah, yes. At a certain moment...
1123
01:16:06,954 --> 01:16:08,763
the waiter brought us a bottle of cognac.
1124
01:16:08,790 --> 01:16:10,497
Well, I'm not paying for it.
1125
01:16:10,525 --> 01:16:13,062
I'm trying to recall if the waiter saw my face.
1126
01:16:13,094 --> 01:16:14,505
Think, man.
1127
01:16:14,529 --> 01:16:18,944
Now I remember. When he knocked, I opened the door just a crack.
1128
01:16:18,966 --> 01:16:21,446
Then I put my arm out and grabbed the bottle.
1129
01:16:21,469 --> 01:16:24,040
He could've recognized your arm, a ring, a watch, a bracelet.
1130
01:16:24,072 --> 01:16:27,679
No. I was wearing nothing... except for your robe.
1131
01:16:27,709 --> 01:16:30,656
- My brocade robe? - Si. That one.
1132
01:16:30,678 --> 01:16:34,182
Oh, perfect! It's perfect!
1133
01:16:35,683 --> 01:16:44,068
When this is over, I promise to mend your broken heart.
1134
01:16:44,092 --> 01:16:46,163
I'll be with you night and day.
1135
01:16:46,194 --> 01:16:48,936
We'll go to Paris. We'll walk in the tuileries.
1136
01:16:48,963 --> 01:16:55,175
We'll eat in that funny little cafe in Monmom.
1137
01:16:55,203 --> 01:16:57,547
- Montmartre. - Montmartre, of course.
1138
01:16:57,572 --> 01:17:00,052
Oh, God, I love it when you correct me.
1139
01:17:00,074 --> 01:17:02,554
Oh, darling, I know I've been a disappointment to you...
1140
01:17:02,577 --> 01:17:06,184
but I'll change...beginning now.
1141
01:17:08,750 --> 01:17:10,252
Good, the cognac.
1142
01:17:18,459 --> 01:17:22,236
- Careful! It's attached. - Darling, we have guests.
1143
01:17:22,263 --> 01:17:24,743
Nice to see you, inspector, detective.
1144
01:17:24,766 --> 01:17:27,474
Let me introduce you to my wife Madame Morosco.
1145
01:17:27,502 --> 01:17:31,348
- How do you do? - This is your wife?
1146
01:17:31,372 --> 01:17:33,852
Why do people keep asking that?
1147
01:17:33,875 --> 01:17:35,548
Madame Morosco, forgive me...
1148
01:17:35,576 --> 01:17:38,216
but I must ask a potentially embarrassing question.
1149
01:17:38,246 --> 01:17:41,352
Who was in this room last night with you...
1150
01:17:41,382 --> 01:17:43,794
between midnight and 1:30?
1151
01:17:49,490 --> 01:17:51,163
My husband.
1152
01:17:51,192 --> 01:17:54,901
- Bonsoir, monsieur. - Hey, look who's here.
1153
01:17:54,929 --> 01:17:57,170
It's Antoine. Come in, my good man.
1154
01:17:57,198 --> 01:17:58,768
Would you mind telling the inspector...
1155
01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:01,838
who was in this room last night between midnight and 1:30?
1156
01:18:01,869 --> 01:18:06,511
Monsieur Morosco. I brought him a bottle of Gaston de Lagrange.
1157
01:18:06,541 --> 01:18:09,647
He was wearing this very same robe.
1158
01:18:09,677 --> 01:18:12,817
Oh, thank you, Antoine. And this is for you, my good man.
1159
01:18:12,847 --> 01:18:14,656
Now take the cognac and get out.
1160
01:18:14,682 --> 01:18:16,958
- Merci, monsieur. - Now. Move.
1161
01:18:16,984 --> 01:18:19,396
Very nice waiter. As he was last night.
1162
01:18:19,420 --> 01:18:21,900
Very well. Your alibi is intact.
1163
01:18:21,923 --> 01:18:23,402
You doubted me, inspector.
1164
01:18:23,424 --> 01:18:25,495
I've learned over the years to never lie...
1165
01:18:25,526 --> 01:18:26,596
to an officer of the law.
1166
01:18:26,627 --> 01:18:29,198
The policeman is always your friend.
1167
01:18:29,230 --> 01:18:31,437
Have a nice weekend.
1168
01:18:31,465 --> 01:18:33,809
Those fools.
1169
01:18:35,403 --> 01:18:38,680
There is one other small detail.
1170
01:18:38,706 --> 01:18:41,812
Of course. Always eager to help.
1171
01:18:41,843 --> 01:18:44,187
- Come with me. - Go.
1172
01:18:55,723 --> 01:18:59,603
Last night, at exactly 1 A.M...
1173
01:18:59,627 --> 01:19:01,573
the mechanic in the hotel garage...
1174
01:19:01,596 --> 01:19:04,577
saw a figure come out this window...
1175
01:19:04,599 --> 01:19:09,742
and go down the fire escape. I assume that was you.
1176
01:19:09,770 --> 01:19:13,809
- But of course it was me. - I see. Very well.
1177
01:19:13,841 --> 01:19:17,948
Let us re-enact your journey, shall we?
1178
01:19:17,979 --> 01:19:20,391
Of course I will.
1179
01:19:26,420 --> 01:19:27,922
No big deal.
1180
01:19:46,474 --> 01:19:48,920
Augie, what are you doing?
1181
01:19:48,943 --> 01:19:50,513
I'm making a police training film.
1182
01:19:50,544 --> 01:19:52,888
What do you think I'm doing?
1183
01:19:54,282 --> 01:19:55,283
Oh, God!
1184
01:20:06,093 --> 01:20:08,095
Oh, pain.
1185
01:20:14,502 --> 01:20:16,140
That's worse than a rug burn.
1186
01:20:16,170 --> 01:20:18,116
And where did you go from here?
1187
01:20:18,139 --> 01:20:23,418
I believe I walked across this beam.
1188
01:20:23,444 --> 01:20:28,120
- Well, good night. - After you.
1189
01:20:29,784 --> 01:20:31,161
Sure.
1190
01:21:33,781 --> 01:21:35,055
God.
1191
01:21:36,083 --> 01:21:40,225
- You came into this room? - Yes, I did.
1192
01:21:40,254 --> 01:21:45,829
How convenient. The room where Madame Van Dougen was murdered.
1193
01:21:49,096 --> 01:21:51,576
- Could you slow down? - Easy.
1194
01:21:51,599 --> 01:21:54,079
When is this thing going to end?
1195
01:21:54,101 --> 01:21:58,846
- You! You're hurting my arm. - The time now is 1:10.
1196
01:21:58,873 --> 01:22:01,854
- What a nightmare! - This is the victim's watch.
1197
01:22:01,876 --> 01:22:07,155
As you see, it has stopped at the moment of the crime--1 :10.
1198
01:22:11,652 --> 01:22:14,792
Oh, no! I didn't do it.
1199
01:22:14,822 --> 01:22:16,824
I've never been in this room before in my life!
1200
01:22:16,857 --> 01:22:20,100
I lied about everything. You got to believe me!
1201
01:22:20,127 --> 01:22:22,198
I'm innocent!
1202
01:22:22,229 --> 01:22:24,709
Please take a seat, Monsieur Morosco.
1203
01:22:24,732 --> 01:22:29,203
OK, but I'm still innocent. I don't know why I'm here.
1204
01:22:29,236 --> 01:22:31,876
I didn't do anything. I'm innocent.
1205
01:22:39,580 --> 01:22:49,558
Sir? May I see that matchbook? Thank you.
1206
01:22:54,829 --> 01:22:56,308
Here's your man, Bonnard.
1207
01:22:56,330 --> 01:22:58,435
Look at him--he's got guilt written all over him.
1208
01:22:58,466 --> 01:23:01,447
- Me? - You all had the motives.
1209
01:23:01,469 --> 01:23:04,780
This one--this one was so desperate for money...
1210
01:23:04,805 --> 01:23:07,342
he tried to sell me a dog he didn't own!
1211
01:23:07,374 --> 01:23:10,378
And you! You were insane last night!
1212
01:23:10,411 --> 01:23:12,891
Inspector, the man was frothing at the mouth!
1213
01:23:12,913 --> 01:23:16,622
Ask anyone who saw him in the casino. He was violent.
1214
01:23:16,650 --> 01:23:19,563
If anyone in this room is capable of murder, it's Schwary!
1215
01:23:19,587 --> 01:23:21,828
- Why, I ought to-- - Monsieur!
1216
01:23:21,856 --> 01:23:24,735
Wait a minute! Let go! My husband may be capable...
1217
01:23:24,758 --> 01:23:26,396
of a lot of lowbrow, moronic behavior...
1218
01:23:26,427 --> 01:23:28,771
but he's too much of a coward to commit murder.
1219
01:23:28,796 --> 01:23:29,831
Thank you.
1220
01:23:30,998 --> 01:23:33,774
Look, inspector, come on. What more do you want?
1221
01:23:33,801 --> 01:23:36,304
The man was eating the evidence, for God's sake.
1222
01:23:36,337 --> 01:23:38,544
I'm innocent. I didn't do it!
1223
01:23:38,572 --> 01:23:40,950
I've never made love for an hour and a half in my life!
1224
01:23:40,975 --> 01:23:42,955
Ask my wife. She'll tell you.
1225
01:23:42,977 --> 01:23:45,958
That's precisely what I intend to do.
1226
01:23:45,980 --> 01:23:47,084
Sit down.
1227
01:23:48,516 --> 01:23:50,757
Elena, darling.
1228
01:23:54,455 --> 01:23:57,868
Madame, we are now at the hour of truth.
1229
01:23:57,892 --> 01:24:03,171
Lives are at stake. Pitiful lives, but lives nevertheless.
1230
01:24:03,197 --> 01:24:05,177
Now, who was the man...
1231
01:24:05,199 --> 01:24:09,306
that crawled out the window of Suite 801 last night?
1232
01:24:19,313 --> 01:24:24,160
- My husband. - Elena, the truth...
1233
01:24:24,185 --> 01:24:25,630
no matter how awful it may be.
1234
01:24:25,653 --> 01:24:27,724
Who were you in bed with last night?
1235
01:24:27,755 --> 01:24:30,793
- Say his name. - Augie Morosco.
1236
01:24:32,826 --> 01:24:34,897
The woman is a compulsive liar.
1237
01:24:34,929 --> 01:24:36,966
She's only saying that to protect me.
1238
01:24:36,997 --> 01:24:39,238
Because in fact, my wife, at the hour of the crime...
1239
01:24:39,266 --> 01:24:42,611
was in the arms of another man. And that man, Mr. Inspector...
1240
01:24:42,636 --> 01:24:45,139
is the real murderer of Madame Van Dougen.
1241
01:24:45,172 --> 01:24:48,119
- Alfonso de la Pena? - Alfonso--
1242
01:24:48,142 --> 01:24:50,122
Monte Carlo is a small town.
1243
01:24:50,144 --> 01:24:52,124
Please take a seat, Madame Morosco.
1244
01:24:52,146 --> 01:24:56,219
- You, too. - Senior de la Pena...
1245
01:24:56,250 --> 01:24:57,786
come in, please.
1246
01:25:00,287 --> 01:25:03,029
I believe you owe me an explanation, inspector.
1247
01:25:03,057 --> 01:25:06,834
I intend to do just that.
1248
01:25:06,860 --> 01:25:10,330
Tell us, if you will, Senior de la Pena...
1249
01:25:10,364 --> 01:25:12,537
were you in Madame Morosco's suite...
1250
01:25:12,566 --> 01:25:14,603
at L'hotel de Paris last evening?
1251
01:25:21,275 --> 01:25:23,118
Absolutely not.
1252
01:25:23,143 --> 01:25:26,181
Who is this gentleman, may I ask?
1253
01:25:32,386 --> 01:25:34,627
What is it, Monsieur Peters?
1254
01:25:37,091 --> 01:25:42,097
It's the shoes... from the bushes.
1255
01:25:46,900 --> 01:25:50,177
It's him! He's the murderer!
1256
01:25:50,204 --> 01:25:53,981
No! It was not me!
1257
01:25:54,008 --> 01:25:57,251
Yes, I admit it was I who was in the bushes last night...
1258
01:25:57,278 --> 01:25:58,689
but I am certainly not guilty...
1259
01:25:58,712 --> 01:26:00,749
of the murder of Madame Van Dougen!
1260
01:26:00,781 --> 01:26:03,455
Please continue, Senor de la Pena.
1261
01:26:06,453 --> 01:26:12,597
You see, I was to meet...
1262
01:26:12,626 --> 01:26:15,436
Claire at 1:00.
1263
01:26:15,462 --> 01:26:18,102
No one was to know of our encounters.
1264
01:26:18,132 --> 01:26:20,476
It was her wish.
1265
01:26:20,501 --> 01:26:23,277
But when I arrived in madame's bedroom...
1266
01:26:23,304 --> 01:26:25,477
she was not there.
1267
01:26:25,506 --> 01:26:27,417
What did you see in the bedroom?
1268
01:26:27,441 --> 01:26:29,182
Nothing unusual.
1269
01:26:29,209 --> 01:26:32,247
Her bed was turned down as always.
1270
01:26:32,279 --> 01:26:34,782
Her powder blue negligee was carefully laid...
1271
01:26:34,815 --> 01:26:36,123
at the bottom of the bed...
1272
01:26:36,150 --> 01:26:38,562
but there was no sign of madame.
1273
01:26:38,585 --> 01:26:39,893
I left by the front door.
1274
01:26:39,920 --> 01:26:42,025
Immediately I heard someone coming up the drive.
1275
01:26:42,056 --> 01:26:45,629
It was this couple returning Napoleon.
1276
01:26:45,659 --> 01:26:47,297
I quickly ducked into the bushes...
1277
01:26:47,328 --> 01:26:51,105
to honor madame's vow of secrecy.
1278
01:26:51,131 --> 01:26:53,509
When they left, I left.
1279
01:26:53,534 --> 01:26:54,672
I have nothing left to say.
1280
01:26:54,702 --> 01:26:55,806
I saw nothing more.
1281
01:26:55,836 --> 01:26:56,940
I can't believe...
1282
01:26:56,970 --> 01:26:58,779
after an hour and a half with this guy's wife...
1283
01:26:58,806 --> 01:27:00,308
you and the old woman were--
1284
01:27:00,341 --> 01:27:02,048
It's what I do.
1285
01:27:02,076 --> 01:27:05,023
Very interesting.
1286
01:27:05,045 --> 01:27:07,787
Don't you agree, Madame DePaul?
1287
01:27:07,815 --> 01:27:09,988
Didn't you tell me the only chore you did...
1288
01:27:10,017 --> 01:27:11,394
the night of the crime...
1289
01:27:11,418 --> 01:27:13,955
was to prepare Madame Van Dougen's evening meal?
1290
01:27:13,987 --> 01:27:15,694
Yes, that's correct.
1291
01:27:15,723 --> 01:27:20,263
Did you not also tell me you took the 7:50 train...
1292
01:27:20,294 --> 01:27:21,864
to Saint Cloud Sur Mer?
1293
01:27:21,895 --> 01:27:24,341
Yes, that's also correct.
1294
01:27:24,365 --> 01:27:26,436
Then you were not in the house...
1295
01:27:26,467 --> 01:27:29,141
to turn down madame's bed as always...
1296
01:27:29,169 --> 01:27:31,445
and lay out her powder blue negligee...
1297
01:27:31,472 --> 01:27:34,681
as senior described when he was in the room...
1298
01:27:34,708 --> 01:27:36,119
at approximately 1:15.
1299
01:27:36,143 --> 01:27:37,713
No. We--
1300
01:27:37,745 --> 01:27:39,190
Then tell me, if you would...
1301
01:27:39,213 --> 01:27:43,184
how the bed became remade when this photograph was taken...
1302
01:27:43,217 --> 01:27:47,723
about 45 minutes after Alfonso de la Pena left the bedroom?
1303
01:27:50,758 --> 01:27:55,264
I propose you never left on the 7:50 train.
1304
01:27:55,295 --> 01:27:59,766
As a matter of fact, you never left the villa at all.
1305
01:27:59,800 --> 01:28:04,271
I propose you were in the garage disposing of the body...
1306
01:28:04,304 --> 01:28:06,807
when Senior de la Pena showed up.
1307
01:28:06,840 --> 01:28:11,346
He saw the unmade bed and slipped away.
1308
01:28:11,378 --> 01:28:13,688
You returned and remade the bed...
1309
01:28:13,714 --> 01:28:16,752
in a desperate attempt to cover your tracks.
1310
01:28:18,352 --> 01:28:21,959
- It wasn't my idea. - Shut up, you fool!
1311
01:28:54,488 --> 01:28:58,527
I'd like to propose a toast to Napoleon...
1312
01:28:58,559 --> 01:29:00,596
not only because he's the only dog I know...
1313
01:29:00,627 --> 01:29:02,732
that has his own stock portfolio...
1314
01:29:02,763 --> 01:29:05,039
but because he led me to Phoebe.
1315
01:29:05,065 --> 01:29:09,013
And for that, I will be eternally grateful.
1316
01:29:09,036 --> 01:29:11,642
- Cheers. - To Napoleon.
1317
01:29:11,672 --> 01:29:15,142
Where else but Monte Carlo would a cop arrest you one day...
1318
01:29:15,175 --> 01:29:17,655
and then buy you the finest champagne the next?
1319
01:29:17,678 --> 01:29:20,090
I bought the champagne.
1320
01:29:20,113 --> 01:29:23,583
Honey, this stuff has got to be 200 bucks a pop!
1321
01:29:23,617 --> 01:29:27,724
- That's chicken feed. - Marilyn, what is this?
1322
01:29:27,754 --> 01:29:31,861
This, Neil, is the 2112 million francs I won at roulette.
1323
01:29:31,892 --> 01:29:36,102
That's half a million American smackaroos, and it's all mine.
1324
01:29:36,129 --> 01:29:38,871
Honey, you won!
1325
01:29:38,899 --> 01:29:41,903
I think we need to see a kinder...
1326
01:29:41,935 --> 01:29:44,848
a gentler Neil Schwary in the future, don't you?
1327
01:29:44,872 --> 01:29:49,787
Or maybe I'll take you back, and give it to you the way...
1328
01:29:49,810 --> 01:29:52,791
you've been giving it to me the past 10 years.
1329
01:29:52,813 --> 01:30:00,254
Yes! I deserve it, Marilyn. Take me back.
1330
01:30:01,488 --> 01:30:03,331
I'll think about it.
1331
01:30:05,993 --> 01:30:07,097
Ladies and gentlemen...
1332
01:30:07,127 --> 01:30:10,267
I hope you have learned a valuable lesson.
1333
01:30:10,297 --> 01:30:13,767
All your trouble came from your mistrust and fear.
1334
01:30:13,800 --> 01:30:16,679
In the future, try to be honest with the police.
1335
01:30:21,074 --> 01:30:24,886
Bonsoir. And if you get into any further trouble...
1336
01:30:24,912 --> 01:30:26,914
-please... - Don't call.
1337
01:30:36,123 --> 01:30:41,664
- You know, it's funny. - Yes, it is.
1338
01:30:47,034 --> 01:30:50,777
When you leave $20 million to a dog...
1339
01:30:50,804 --> 01:30:53,410
you're asking to be murdered.
1340
01:30:53,440 --> 01:30:56,421
So, what becomes of the $20 million?
1341
01:30:56,443 --> 01:31:00,414
I suppose whoever gets custody of the dog...
1342
01:31:00,447 --> 01:31:02,654
gets custody of the money.
1343
01:31:16,363 --> 01:31:21,312
The dog--one of life's misunderstood creatures...
1344
01:31:21,335 --> 01:31:24,339
to whom no man is truly worthy.
1345
01:31:26,273 --> 01:31:28,514
It's what I do.
1345
01:31:29,000 --> 01:34:00,000
Edited and spell-checked by arj0n
103723
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