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MetalHeadGR
Subs4Series
"Namibian Adventure Part 1"
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00:00:20,006 --> 00:00:23,758
Hello and welcome to
a Grand Tour special,
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00:00:23,783 --> 00:00:26,712
...which begins with this
the Volkswagen Beetle.
4
00:00:26,737 --> 00:00:28,815
It's a car we hate very much...
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00:00:28,876 --> 00:00:32,040
...because it appeals only
to Nazis and hippies,
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00:00:32,118 --> 00:00:35,173
and we are neither
of those things.
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00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,853
However,
if you remove the bodywork
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00:00:37,915 --> 00:00:40,290
and replace it with something
a bit more fun -
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00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:41,572
something like this...
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00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,728
You end up with a beach buggy,
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00:00:43,775 --> 00:00:45,767
and that's brilliant.
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00:00:45,861 --> 00:00:47,548
We love beach buggies.
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00:00:47,634 --> 00:00:49,861
However, Mr. Wilman disagrees.
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00:00:49,939 --> 00:00:52,220
He says that
if they'd been any good,
15
00:00:52,322 --> 00:00:53,775
they would have caught on,
16
00:00:53,876 --> 00:00:56,227
and he points out
that they didn't.
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00:00:56,306 --> 00:01:00,103
So he hatched a plan.
And it's this:
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00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:03,662
he said all three of us
must buy a Volkswagen Beetle,
19
00:01:03,795 --> 00:01:05,709
turn it into a beach buggy,
20
00:01:05,770 --> 00:01:07,200
and then report with it
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00:01:07,302 --> 00:01:11,443
to a wild, rugged
and extremely remote place...
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00:01:11,537 --> 00:01:15,170
Here... on the coast of Namibia.
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00:01:38,659 --> 00:01:40,560
This is what I've built.
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00:01:41,888 --> 00:01:44,178
It's as close
as you can possibly get
25
00:01:44,248 --> 00:01:47,482
to the original 1964 beach buggy
26
00:01:47,559 --> 00:01:49,160
built by Bruce Meyers.
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00:01:51,663 --> 00:01:55,833
Underneath,
it is a 1950s Beetle...
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00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:57,802
Beetle floorpan,
Beetle suspension,
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00:01:57,888 --> 00:01:59,623
Beetle engine, Beetle gearbox.
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00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:00,905
It's got Beetle lights on it.
31
00:02:00,972 --> 00:02:02,521
I've even got
a Beetle speedometer
32
00:02:02,575 --> 00:02:04,443
and Beetle hubcaps.
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00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:07,635
It's brilliant!
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00:02:10,948 --> 00:02:14,966
This is a beach buggy very like
the one that Steve McQueen drove
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00:02:15,036 --> 00:02:16,693
in the original
Thomas Crown Affair.
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00:02:16,747 --> 00:02:18,731
And if it's good enough...
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00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:22,060
- Oh, God.
- Ha-ha!
38
00:02:22,419 --> 00:02:25,095
I've been joined by the 1970s.
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00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:30,535
Yes.
40
00:02:30,665 --> 00:02:34,939
James May has built
what a beach buggy was,
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00:02:35,126 --> 00:02:38,876
what I've built is what
a beach buggy can be...
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00:02:41,173 --> 00:02:43,649
if you have a bit of imagination
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00:02:43,751 --> 00:02:46,680
and some purple
metal-flake paint.
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00:02:46,962 --> 00:02:48,555
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
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00:02:54,305 --> 00:02:58,540
There, I believe, is the start
point of our adventure.
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00:03:04,962 --> 00:03:07,157
What an extraordinary place.
47
00:03:07,266 --> 00:03:10,708
It's amazing, isn't it?
I mean, more seals.
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00:03:10,775 --> 00:03:13,344
What David Attenborough
never told us about those
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00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,946
is how bad they smell.
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00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:20,388
Sadly, before our nature
documentary could go any further,
51
00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:23,930
Richard Hammond
emerged from the mist.
52
00:03:24,134 --> 00:03:27,191
Ooh, hello.
That's not a beach buggy.
53
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,227
- Is it?
- Well, I wouldn't call that...
54
00:03:30,532 --> 00:03:32,446
- Ah-ha!
- Oh, geez.
55
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,899
Ladies and gentlemen,
Dick-Tari!
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00:03:35,277 --> 00:03:36,688
Behold!
57
00:03:37,548 --> 00:03:38,770
What are you wearing?
58
00:03:38,836 --> 00:03:40,154
What are you wearing?
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00:03:40,205 --> 00:03:41,763
Well, I'm in Africa!
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00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,115
These trousers,
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00:03:43,155 --> 00:03:44,646
did they say in the shop,
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00:03:44,709 --> 00:03:46,326
"I'm afraid
they are yellow, sir"?
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00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:47,716
When you left, they went, "Yes!
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00:03:47,789 --> 00:03:50,584
20 years we've had
those on the hanger!"
65
00:03:50,609 --> 00:03:51,388
Shut up.
66
00:03:51,413 --> 00:03:53,209
And then we must
move over to this.
67
00:03:53,279 --> 00:03:54,795
- Yeah.
- We were told
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00:03:54,876 --> 00:03:56,653
to build beach buggies.
69
00:03:56,832 --> 00:03:58,396
- Yes.
- Beach buggies.
70
00:03:58,461 --> 00:04:00,115
- It's not a beach buggy.
- It isn't.
71
00:04:00,162 --> 00:04:01,607
It is a beach buggy.
72
00:04:01,677 --> 00:04:03,802
It isn't a beach buggy.
It's got a roof!
73
00:04:03,873 --> 00:04:05,654
There's no Beetle
in here at all.
74
00:04:05,732 --> 00:04:07,829
Yes, there is.
Beetle engine in there.
75
00:04:07,954 --> 00:04:10,876
OK, this space-frame chassis...
76
00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:12,641
- Yeah.
- Is it from a Beetle?
77
00:04:12,702 --> 00:04:15,352
- No.
- These enormous suspension components
78
00:04:15,383 --> 00:04:17,969
Yes, That don't even fit
under the bodywork.
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00:04:18,146 --> 00:04:21,533
- You've got two lots of suspension at the back.
- Twin shocks.
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00:04:21,558 --> 00:04:25,285
- Twin shocks?
- Well, you know... - I like an off-road sort of vibe.
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00:04:25,353 --> 00:04:27,521
To get here,
we had to drive on a beach.
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00:04:27,715 --> 00:04:29,176
- Yeah.
- Ours have made it.
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00:04:29,277 --> 00:04:32,018
I didn't need two lots
of rear suspension on mine.
84
00:04:32,043 --> 00:04:32,791
Neither did I.
85
00:04:32,816 --> 00:04:34,777
Look, we were told
to come to Africa.
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00:04:34,886 --> 00:04:39,560
If we'd been told to go to Santa
Monica Beach, then this, with its...
87
00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:42,060
incredibly vivid paint...
88
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,037
That's the most metal flake
I've ever seen.
89
00:04:44,069 --> 00:04:45,350
Any beach in the world.
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00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:47,027
Um...
91
00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:50,021
- H-Hang on, what's that?
- That's the engine.
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00:04:50,139 --> 00:04:52,264
- What engine is it?
- V8!
93
00:04:52,415 --> 00:04:54,310
I've put a V8 in a beach buggy!
94
00:04:54,389 --> 00:04:55,678
Well, no, you haven't.
95
00:04:55,756 --> 00:04:57,584
You've parked your
beach buggy quite close.
96
00:04:57,646 --> 00:04:58,631
It's not in it!
97
00:04:58,656 --> 00:05:00,076
- It isn't in it.
- No.
98
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,334
You've reversed into a V8,
99
00:05:01,359 --> 00:05:02,600
but not quite hard enough.
100
00:05:02,625 --> 00:05:03,921
It's only gone in
a third of the way.
101
00:05:03,945 --> 00:05:06,145
Do you have any idea
how difficult it is
102
00:05:06,170 --> 00:05:08,030
to fit a V8 to a beach buggy?
103
00:05:08,088 --> 00:05:09,368
- Well, it doesn't fit!
- It's obviously impossible.
104
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,154
Exactly, it's impossible.
105
00:05:11,232 --> 00:05:12,842
This is no ordinary V8.
106
00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:14,303
It started out in life
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00:05:14,328 --> 00:05:16,607
as a 3.5 litre V8
from a Range Rover,
108
00:05:16,693 --> 00:05:21,609
but I've modified it, so it
produces 180 horsepower.
109
00:05:21,710 --> 00:05:23,654
Can I just say,
you were doubting
110
00:05:23,712 --> 00:05:25,150
the credibility of mine
as a beach buggy.
111
00:05:25,174 --> 00:05:26,139
Yeah. Yeah.
112
00:05:26,164 --> 00:05:28,485
The defining characteristic
of a beach buggy
113
00:05:28,547 --> 00:05:32,196
is an air-cooled,
flat-four Beetle engine.
114
00:05:32,406 --> 00:05:33,828
No, that's not an engine, James.
115
00:05:33,883 --> 00:05:34,923
That's just a fan.
116
00:05:34,989 --> 00:05:36,531
How many horsepower
does yours have?
117
00:05:36,617 --> 00:05:37,789
94!
118
00:05:37,836 --> 00:05:39,781
So I have twice
as many horsepower.
119
00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:41,743
- Shall I tell you something?
- They're not in the car, though.
120
00:05:41,767 --> 00:05:43,564
- They are, they're near it.
- Yes.
121
00:05:43,595 --> 00:05:45,457
It's interesting, isn't it?
I mean, that is an entire...
122
00:05:45,481 --> 00:05:47,065
Nothing about that
is interesting.
123
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,268
Well, This is a blank canvas
124
00:05:48,293 --> 00:05:49,651
onto which you could
paint your personality.
125
00:05:49,675 --> 00:05:50,870
- Yes.
- Yours has got
126
00:05:50,895 --> 00:05:52,908
a prolapsed V8 hanging
out of its backside
127
00:05:53,024 --> 00:05:54,331
and terrible paint.
128
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:55,776
Mine is a rather magnificent
129
00:05:55,878 --> 00:05:57,401
"Daktari" -themed off-roader.
130
00:05:57,456 --> 00:05:59,613
That's got nothing on it!
131
00:05:59,815 --> 00:06:02,015
- You can express... All your personality,
- It is a bit boring.
132
00:06:02,039 --> 00:06:03,039
And it's standard.
133
00:06:03,075 --> 00:06:04,377
It's not...
What do you mean, standard?
134
00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:05,504
- Its standard.
- A beach buggy.
135
00:06:05,528 --> 00:06:06,896
It's tasteful.
136
00:06:07,074 --> 00:06:08,241
What?
137
00:06:09,398 --> 00:06:12,066
- Oh.
- The bat sat-phone.
138
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,399
We've got a message from...
139
00:06:14,829 --> 00:06:15,830
Mr. Wilman.
140
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,165
Right, go on.
141
00:06:17,231 --> 00:06:18,551
"Since you're in
beach buggies..."
142
00:06:18,576 --> 00:06:20,337
Well, us two are.
143
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:22,203
"Since you're in beach buggies,
144
00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:24,969
you will now
drive to the beach."
145
00:06:25,157 --> 00:06:26,507
Uh...
146
00:06:26,557 --> 00:06:27,658
Uh... do you think
147
00:06:27,697 --> 00:06:29,366
he's taken leave of his senses?
148
00:06:29,452 --> 00:06:31,115
Well, he was never that good
at geography, was he?
149
00:06:31,139 --> 00:06:33,174
No, he wasn't. "You'll now
drive to the beach."
150
00:06:33,199 --> 00:06:34,445
Hold on.
Oh, no, there's more.
151
00:06:34,499 --> 00:06:36,417
"The beach
to which you will drive
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00:06:36,484 --> 00:06:41,734
is located on the
crocodile-infested Kunene River
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00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:46,234
at the northernmost point of
Namibia, where it meets Angola.
154
00:06:46,409 --> 00:06:48,749
It's 1,000 miles away."
155
00:06:49,953 --> 00:06:53,218
- 1,000 miles?
- 1,000.
156
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,437
What we needed
at this point was a map,
157
00:06:56,577 --> 00:06:59,616
so we decided
to head north up the coast
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00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:01,640
and find the nearest town.
159
00:07:01,851 --> 00:07:04,124
Let the journey begin!
160
00:07:08,215 --> 00:07:11,070
And what a journey
it would be in these cars,
161
00:07:11,117 --> 00:07:14,976
cars that were born
in interesting times.
162
00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:19,546
So, it's 1964,
163
00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:22,496
the word "teenager"
has started to appear
164
00:07:22,554 --> 00:07:24,124
in the world's dictionaries,
165
00:07:24,218 --> 00:07:26,868
people are listening
to new types of music,
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00:07:26,935 --> 00:07:29,945
they're smoking
new types of stuff.
167
00:07:30,030 --> 00:07:34,275
And then, in California,
the beach buggy arrived!
168
00:07:39,421 --> 00:07:40,999
It was perfect!
169
00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:43,651
Girls and boys,
beach barbecues...
170
00:07:43,874 --> 00:07:47,221
The first design criteria was
that the front fenders were flat,
171
00:07:47,318 --> 00:07:49,389
so you could stand a beer on it.
172
00:07:49,472 --> 00:07:51,359
That's how you design a car!
173
00:07:55,163 --> 00:07:59,452
Jimi Hendrix had a beach buggy
and President Nixon didn't.
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00:07:59,603 --> 00:08:01,572
Tells you all you need to know.
175
00:08:04,382 --> 00:08:07,812
What I really like about the beach
buggy is that it's a testament
176
00:08:07,874 --> 00:08:11,312
to the ability of
the human spirit to triumph.
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00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:13,323
Because somebody looked
at the Beetle and said,
178
00:08:13,347 --> 00:08:17,577
"Well, that's the legacy of
the world's worst dictator.
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00:08:17,687 --> 00:08:19,812
Let's turn it
into a beach car."
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00:08:23,374 --> 00:08:25,118
After a lonely hour
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00:08:25,193 --> 00:08:27,328
of driving north
through the swirling mist,
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00:08:27,395 --> 00:08:29,905
we still hadn't found a town,
183
00:08:30,024 --> 00:08:33,161
but we did find something else.
184
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:35,832
Jesus.
185
00:08:56,590 --> 00:08:57,851
I'll tell you what,
186
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,859
he must have been
going at a right old lick
187
00:08:59,913 --> 00:09:00,928
when he hit the beach.
188
00:09:00,929 --> 00:09:02,437
He must have been.
189
00:09:02,796 --> 00:09:04,217
Right, the sea is there.
190
00:09:04,288 --> 00:09:05,640
That's half a mile away.
191
00:09:05,676 --> 00:09:06,677
I'd say so.
192
00:09:06,741 --> 00:09:07,952
So he got it up the beach,
193
00:09:07,977 --> 00:09:09,457
and then sort of did
a handbrake turn.
194
00:09:09,519 --> 00:09:11,760
- Power-slided it in.
- How do you do a handbrake...
195
00:09:11,846 --> 00:09:14,148
How did it get here, seriously?
196
00:09:14,370 --> 00:09:17,531
Can I just say...
my nipples are erect.
197
00:09:17,695 --> 00:09:19,788
- What, 'cause of this jacket?
- No.
198
00:09:19,898 --> 00:09:20,949
- Oh.
- It's cold.
199
00:09:20,982 --> 00:09:22,929
- It is, isn't it?
- It's cold.
200
00:09:23,014 --> 00:09:25,709
That's an unwise
wardrobe strategy.
201
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:26,874
Yeah, well, you know,
202
00:09:26,922 --> 00:09:28,937
Africa, on a beach, I thought...
203
00:09:29,025 --> 00:09:30,991
- So did I.
- I'm surprised.
204
00:09:32,574 --> 00:09:35,366
The beach has got
the sea haar on it -
205
00:09:35,522 --> 00:09:38,070
mist, fog, cold.
206
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,632
- If you look over there...
- Hm.
207
00:09:40,701 --> 00:09:42,336
Sunshine, blue sky.
208
00:09:42,476 --> 00:09:45,296
- Why don't we just go inland...
- The coast road.
209
00:09:45,382 --> 00:09:47,765
Find the coast road which
will take us to a town.
210
00:09:47,835 --> 00:09:50,304
And that'll be in the sun.
That's a better idea.
211
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:52,646
With a plan worked out,
212
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,060
it was time to get moving again.
213
00:09:59,485 --> 00:10:00,786
Oh, dear.
214
00:10:00,810 --> 00:10:03,068
Did you modify
the battery as well?
215
00:10:03,263 --> 00:10:05,021
Oh...
216
00:10:05,217 --> 00:10:07,787
- It's obviously not charging up.
- No.
217
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,709
Because I didn't modify it.
218
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,123
Yeah.
219
00:10:11,288 --> 00:10:13,162
I'll just see if mine works.
220
00:10:14,427 --> 00:10:16,943
- Oh, yeah.
- Let me just try mine.
221
00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:19,073
Yeah.
222
00:10:19,623 --> 00:10:21,209
- Push?
- Hm?
223
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,037
Can I have a push?
224
00:10:31,584 --> 00:10:34,288
After the film crew
had got me going,
225
00:10:34,355 --> 00:10:38,292
I used my massive horsepower
to catch the others.
226
00:10:44,598 --> 00:10:48,052
But by the time we were
back together again...
227
00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:50,771
it was going dark.
228
00:10:51,006 --> 00:10:54,638
The sun, as you can see
over my shoulder, has set,
229
00:10:54,873 --> 00:10:57,045
and we still
haven't found a road.
230
00:10:57,111 --> 00:11:00,575
It's also going to be very,
very, very cold.
231
00:11:01,996 --> 00:11:03,330
Lights on.
232
00:11:10,994 --> 00:11:13,357
We have got to find this road.
233
00:11:14,304 --> 00:11:16,372
This is not going to be
too clever...
234
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,583
in the dark.
235
00:11:24,816 --> 00:11:27,474
I've rather crudely
rigged up my torch,
236
00:11:27,614 --> 00:11:30,244
wedged in the windscreen rail,
237
00:11:30,364 --> 00:11:34,591
in the hope that you can see
my last pieces to camera.
238
00:11:38,152 --> 00:11:39,904
Oh, bollocks!
239
00:11:44,158 --> 00:11:45,841
Oh, cold!
240
00:11:49,363 --> 00:11:50,599
Finally, though,
241
00:11:50,624 --> 00:11:53,122
it looked like
our luck had changed.
242
00:11:53,257 --> 00:11:55,124
Ooh, hello! Hello!
243
00:11:55,790 --> 00:11:57,146
What's that?
244
00:12:03,944 --> 00:12:06,013
- It's not a hotel.
- No.
245
00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:09,513
It smells of excrement!
246
00:12:09,670 --> 00:12:10,810
Oh, wow, look at this!
247
00:12:11,018 --> 00:12:12,419
There's still, like, plates
248
00:12:12,444 --> 00:12:14,505
and cups and saucers
and things in here.
249
00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:16,083
I'll tell you exactly
what this is.
250
00:12:16,178 --> 00:12:17,802
It's an abandoned mine.
251
00:12:18,736 --> 00:12:20,856
They do mine round
in Namibia, don't they?
252
00:12:20,892 --> 00:12:21,892
What do they mine for?
253
00:12:21,994 --> 00:12:23,607
- Diamonds.
- Diamonds?
254
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:26,378
Yeah, but they wouldn't
have left if there were any.
255
00:12:26,634 --> 00:12:29,318
They obviously left,
and not yesterday.
256
00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:34,693
Look, there's no road here,
is there?
257
00:12:34,842 --> 00:12:35,693
- No.
- No.
258
00:12:35,719 --> 00:12:37,239
Apart from anything else,
259
00:12:37,279 --> 00:12:38,872
we can't find our way
around in the dark
260
00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:39,700
'cause we can't navigate.
261
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:41,364
- Well, I can.
- How?
262
00:12:41,441 --> 00:12:43,208
- How?
- Stars.
263
00:12:43,351 --> 00:12:44,896
- No, you can't.
- I can.
264
00:12:44,989 --> 00:12:47,747
I can't do very many
things, I admit...
265
00:12:48,013 --> 00:12:49,864
anything, but I can do that.
266
00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:51,618
How do you navigate
by the stars?
267
00:12:51,755 --> 00:12:53,239
Uh...
find the Southern Cross.
268
00:12:53,361 --> 00:12:54,895
Yeah, but that's
really complicated.
269
00:12:54,962 --> 00:12:57,294
Right, do you want to sleep
in the excrement mine?
270
00:12:57,396 --> 00:12:58,786
No, this is out.
271
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,193
So, we have to keep going,
272
00:13:01,271 --> 00:13:02,809
whether we like it or not,
till we find...
273
00:13:02,833 --> 00:13:04,607
We have to, so listen.
274
00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:07,388
I shall find the Southern Cross.
275
00:13:07,677 --> 00:13:09,115
You can't find the Southern
Cross with a hammer.
276
00:13:09,139 --> 00:13:12,771
I've found it! Ha! I've found it.
It's there.
277
00:13:12,913 --> 00:13:13,913
It's like a kite.
278
00:13:14,514 --> 00:13:15,883
- That one there?
- Yeah.
279
00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:17,241
It's a kite shape.
It's sort of...
280
00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:20,951
Now, you take
the long axis, yes?
281
00:13:20,976 --> 00:13:21,905
- Yes.
- Mm-hm.
282
00:13:21,983 --> 00:13:24,256
And draw an imaginary line
283
00:13:24,421 --> 00:13:27,280
through it, down to the horizon.
284
00:13:27,421 --> 00:13:29,608
Yes? Now, you intersect it
285
00:13:29,662 --> 00:13:32,412
from a line drawn
between two other stars,
286
00:13:32,522 --> 00:13:35,211
and where those
two imaginary lines meet,
287
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:38,781
directly underneath it
is due south.
288
00:13:38,848 --> 00:13:40,816
So if it's those two...
289
00:13:40,883 --> 00:13:42,733
Which it is, I'm sure of it...
290
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,654
You draw a line...
291
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,562
Oh, this is a bad idea!
292
00:13:52,709 --> 00:13:55,459
We are now trusting
our lives to an orangutan
293
00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:57,346
who thinks he's Patrick Moore.
294
00:13:59,829 --> 00:14:03,099
There it is.
There's the two stars.
295
00:14:04,201 --> 00:14:06,876
Draw a line...
296
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:10,841
I'm not getting many directions
from you, Jeremy. Is this right?
297
00:14:10,966 --> 00:14:13,083
You're heading a little bit
too much to the right.
298
00:14:13,149 --> 00:14:15,263
You need to go left a bit.
299
00:14:15,318 --> 00:14:18,513
Good, good.
Oh, I'm so confident.
300
00:14:18,623 --> 00:14:23,927
You two are going to be eating
humble pie when the sun comes up.
301
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:28,998
Despite the confidence
302
00:14:29,099 --> 00:14:31,060
of Jeremy Columbus,
303
00:14:31,176 --> 00:14:33,546
no road appeared.
304
00:14:34,593 --> 00:14:36,341
Oh, this is grim.
305
00:14:40,396 --> 00:14:42,478
Excuse me.
306
00:14:42,810 --> 00:14:45,919
I've been on the go
a very, very long time now.
307
00:14:48,099 --> 00:14:52,451
Guys, I'm sorry.
I'm not driving another inch.
308
00:14:52,552 --> 00:14:54,157
I can't do this.
309
00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:55,658
It's three o'clock
in the morning.
310
00:14:55,725 --> 00:14:57,373
I'm exhausted.
311
00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:00,503
He does have a point.
312
00:15:06,115 --> 00:15:07,503
The next morning,
313
00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:10,365
we woke, having
slept on the sand,
314
00:15:10,459 --> 00:15:12,808
huddled round our engines
for warmth.
315
00:15:41,404 --> 00:15:43,902
You muppet. What's that?
316
00:15:43,953 --> 00:15:44,954
Um...
317
00:15:45,927 --> 00:15:48,178
"Um" what?
318
00:15:48,263 --> 00:15:51,247
I never knew
Namibia had two seas.
319
00:15:51,314 --> 00:15:52,682
It doesn't have two seas.
320
00:15:52,748 --> 00:15:54,350
No, it has one
massive "cee" in it.
321
00:15:54,417 --> 00:15:55,818
One massive, stupid "cee"
322
00:15:55,885 --> 00:15:57,820
that's navigated us back
to where we started.
323
00:15:57,887 --> 00:15:59,889
- Can I just say...
- It wasn't my... I...
324
00:15:59,955 --> 00:16:02,255
Why did we even believe you
could navigate by the stars?
325
00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:03,661
You can't even read a compass.
326
00:16:03,692 --> 00:16:06,083
There are two "cees".
There's two "cees" here
327
00:16:06,122 --> 00:16:08,302
for believing that
that "cee" could navigate us.
328
00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:10,615
- No, you're right.
- I couldn't possibly...
329
00:16:10,693 --> 00:16:13,286
Really, I don't understand that.
330
00:16:13,365 --> 00:16:15,693
Freezing cold,
sandpapered on the face...
331
00:16:15,747 --> 00:16:18,677
- You've got a coat on.
- It's thin. Have you felt it?
332
00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:20,599
I haven't even got a thin coat.
333
00:16:20,693 --> 00:16:21,905
I've only got
a T-shirt. Anyway,
334
00:16:21,929 --> 00:16:23,677
I'm not going to be
competitive with you
335
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:24,943
about who's the coldest.
336
00:16:24,982 --> 00:16:27,263
- I'm the coldest!
- We're all the lostest.
337
00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:29,302
Never mind. Look,
let's not get bogged down
338
00:16:29,365 --> 00:16:30,568
with whose fault it was.
339
00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:32,589
There's no being bogged
down with it, is there?
340
00:16:32,655 --> 00:16:34,294
It was yours.
341
00:16:34,474 --> 00:16:36,242
We can either go
back into the desert
342
00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:37,724
to look for a road,
343
00:16:37,794 --> 00:16:40,169
or we can just do what
we were doing yesterday,
344
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,075
and stay on the beach.
345
00:16:42,177 --> 00:16:44,250
At least we know, if we
keep the sea on our left,
346
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,622
we're going north.
347
00:16:45,669 --> 00:16:47,115
- Yes.
- That's a fair point.
348
00:16:47,232 --> 00:16:49,522
- Let's navigate by the sea.
- Yes.
349
00:16:51,521 --> 00:16:53,393
With our new...
Well, newish...
350
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:54,490
Plan in place,
351
00:16:54,559 --> 00:16:56,544
we set off once more.
352
00:16:57,958 --> 00:17:02,607
So here we are. These are our
wheel marks from yesterday.
353
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:06,673
24 hours of cold, misery...
354
00:17:06,731 --> 00:17:08,857
to achieve exactly nothing.
355
00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:11,396
I mean, it is exactly nothing.
356
00:17:11,771 --> 00:17:15,427
But, apart from that
and the weather...
357
00:17:15,505 --> 00:17:19,686
and Jeremy Clarkson,
it's all going really well.
358
00:17:19,810 --> 00:17:21,411
As we continued north,
359
00:17:21,497 --> 00:17:24,056
the misery of
the previous day was banished
360
00:17:24,115 --> 00:17:28,349
by the sheer bigness
of our surroundings.
361
00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:31,060
Oh, this is
an astonishing place.
362
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,669
I've got a dune the size
of Mount Everest to my right,
363
00:17:37,804 --> 00:17:41,007
the Atlantic Ocean to my left...
364
00:17:42,474 --> 00:17:45,216
This is absolutely epic.
365
00:17:53,586 --> 00:17:55,422
This is proper
beach buggy driving.
366
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,891
Sun's out, sea's there
with the surf.
367
00:17:59,052 --> 00:18:01,154
It's like being
in the Beach Boys.
368
00:18:05,763 --> 00:18:07,834
Amidst all
this loveliness, though,
369
00:18:07,919 --> 00:18:13,105
there was one small elephant
edging its way into the room.
370
00:18:13,755 --> 00:18:15,050
Chaps, I don't want to
have to say this,
371
00:18:15,074 --> 00:18:18,974
but is the tide coming in
or going out?
372
00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:23,185
Uh... I'm guessing in.
373
00:18:25,239 --> 00:18:27,950
There's no way
up the sides of that.
374
00:18:28,888 --> 00:18:32,716
And if the tide comes in
that far, which it does,
375
00:18:32,872 --> 00:18:34,461
we've had it.
376
00:18:34,669 --> 00:18:35,990
Got to keep moving here.
377
00:18:36,029 --> 00:18:38,099
We cannot afford to get stuck.
378
00:18:42,138 --> 00:18:44,240
With some generous
use of the throttle,
379
00:18:44,349 --> 00:18:45,786
we managed to get clear
380
00:18:45,811 --> 00:18:48,575
of the sea-and-sand-dune
pincer movement.
381
00:18:48,816 --> 00:18:51,786
But then we had another problem.
382
00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:57,325
I'd say that was the end
of the beach.
383
00:18:58,279 --> 00:19:00,005
How does that
just end like that?
384
00:19:00,044 --> 00:19:01,607
- It does just end.
- That is the end.
385
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,528
And the Namibian
government doesn't allow us
386
00:19:04,599 --> 00:19:06,959
to drive on the salt pans,
and that's what that is.
387
00:19:07,154 --> 00:19:08,595
This meant, according to James,
388
00:19:08,661 --> 00:19:11,964
we had only one option.
389
00:19:12,031 --> 00:19:13,662
We've got to go back
the way we came.
390
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:15,506
But if the tide's coming in,
391
00:19:15,623 --> 00:19:18,724
that narrow bit
will have become impassable.
392
00:19:18,756 --> 00:19:22,052
That's why I think if we see a
good opportunity to turn left,
393
00:19:22,218 --> 00:19:24,700
like we did last night,
we do it.
394
00:19:24,753 --> 00:19:26,721
Are you honestly suggesting
we go back in the...
395
00:19:26,802 --> 00:19:28,404
Well, where else can we go?
396
00:19:28,523 --> 00:19:30,625
We'll either drown
or starve otherwise.
397
00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:37,957
Right, we've just
got to find a bit
398
00:19:38,024 --> 00:19:42,146
where we can get inland
before the tide comes in.
399
00:19:47,833 --> 00:19:50,266
That is getting closer to that,
400
00:19:50,497 --> 00:19:52,232
and when that happens,
we've had it.
401
00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:58,244
But as we thundered along,
402
00:19:58,310 --> 00:20:01,997
the dunes refused
to open up and let us in.
403
00:20:03,415 --> 00:20:04,784
That's the sea!
404
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,654
It's the sea, there!
405
00:20:09,255 --> 00:20:11,411
Oh, it's coming at me!
406
00:20:12,818 --> 00:20:15,862
I still say
we can't get out here, look.
407
00:20:16,044 --> 00:20:18,130
No left turn at the moment.
408
00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:24,279
This is where you need a V8!
409
00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:28,731
Oh, shit.
410
00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:32,357
Oh, Jeremy's in trouble!
411
00:20:32,515 --> 00:20:34,575
That is not looking good!
412
00:20:35,715 --> 00:20:37,513
Come on, come on. Whoa.
413
00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:40,823
Oh, no.
414
00:20:43,189 --> 00:20:46,021
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Not a good place.
415
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:48,435
Oh, God.
416
00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:50,630
Uh... I'm in the sea.
417
00:20:51,552 --> 00:20:53,607
Because it was
a bit of an emergency,
418
00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:56,425
my colleagues
decided to help for once.
419
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:59,338
Go.
420
00:20:59,405 --> 00:21:00,661
No.
421
00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:02,174
Is that just spinning?
422
00:21:02,241 --> 00:21:03,810
It's beached under there.
423
00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:05,693
I don't see why
I can't push him with that.
424
00:21:05,779 --> 00:21:08,161
- All right, then. Try.
- All right.
425
00:21:08,294 --> 00:21:09,849
James, count us in.
426
00:21:09,874 --> 00:21:12,380
Three, two, one, away!
427
00:21:17,751 --> 00:21:21,427
- Yes!
- Right, let's go!
428
00:21:22,844 --> 00:21:27,365
Me getting beached cost us time
we never had in the first place,
429
00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:29,849
and we were still trapped.
430
00:21:33,105 --> 00:21:34,340
Jesus Christ.
431
00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:38,200
Ah, it's coming in.
432
00:21:41,781 --> 00:21:44,036
Come on, come on, come on.
433
00:21:45,413 --> 00:21:47,044
Come on.
434
00:21:48,234 --> 00:21:49,661
Whoa!
435
00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:55,958
Oh!
436
00:21:57,427 --> 00:21:59,044
Oh, that's bad.
437
00:22:02,350 --> 00:22:03,638
Shit.
438
00:22:05,986 --> 00:22:07,325
Whoa!
439
00:22:09,909 --> 00:22:11,740
Come on, baby, come on.
440
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:18,029
Mercifully, the dunes finally
started to fall away
441
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:20,102
and we were saved.
442
00:22:22,789 --> 00:22:25,693
- And we're through!
- We are, we are.
443
00:22:25,858 --> 00:22:27,443
That's a relief.
444
00:22:29,678 --> 00:22:31,560
So nearly got stuck then.
445
00:22:34,959 --> 00:22:38,318
We'd now been
on the go for 36 hours,
446
00:22:38,404 --> 00:22:42,638
and we were pretty much back
where we started from... again.
447
00:22:42,896 --> 00:22:46,013
We were also soaked,
frozen, worn out,
448
00:22:46,068 --> 00:22:48,083
and because
we had no food with us,
449
00:22:48,154 --> 00:22:50,138
we were also hungry.
450
00:22:50,255 --> 00:22:54,333
But then Bear Clarkson
came to the rescue.
451
00:22:54,536 --> 00:22:57,630
Cold you go and get
some driftwood for a fire?
452
00:22:57,724 --> 00:23:01,654
And could you fashion a rudimentary
barbecue grill of some sort?
453
00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:04,161
OK. Where did you get
the fishing rod from?
454
00:23:04,232 --> 00:23:06,165
It's my whip aerial.
It's a beach buggy.
455
00:23:06,232 --> 00:23:08,434
- I thought of that.
- They're fishing rods.
456
00:23:16,262 --> 00:23:19,065
This is going to make a perfect
little fish grill thing, look.
457
00:23:23,922 --> 00:23:25,341
Have you got a fire lit yet?
458
00:23:25,411 --> 00:23:26,302
I thought you were fishing.
459
00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:29,216
I am fishing.
My car's fishing.
460
00:23:29,279 --> 00:23:31,177
- Look.
- Well, is it?
461
00:23:31,286 --> 00:23:33,490
- Yeah, look, I've got the rods attached.
- It's parked.
462
00:23:33,607 --> 00:23:35,497
- What's that?
- That's the grill.
463
00:23:35,607 --> 00:23:37,930
So we hold that with the
pliers from my multi-tool,
464
00:23:37,997 --> 00:23:40,083
cut the fish up, fillet it...
465
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:43,836
Can you do that? There's no point
asking him. He can open a tin...
466
00:23:43,903 --> 00:23:45,396
Can you fillet a fish?
467
00:23:45,505 --> 00:23:47,661
- What, is it only fish?
- Well, it's the sea!
468
00:23:47,802 --> 00:23:50,068
What did you think I was
going to catch, a chicken?
469
00:23:50,098 --> 00:23:51,443
Oh, my God!
470
00:23:56,740 --> 00:23:59,785
- Oh, my God!
- No, wait. Yes!
471
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,833
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
472
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,229
While Hammond went off
to get more driftwood,
473
00:24:04,390 --> 00:24:07,700
James and I set about
gutting the catch.
474
00:24:07,867 --> 00:24:11,810
Use his car
as the table. There we go.
475
00:24:11,896 --> 00:24:14,529
- That's his gut. Look. You've got it.
- Yeah, right.
476
00:24:14,559 --> 00:24:15,904
Oh, God. Shit. Look,
477
00:24:16,005 --> 00:24:18,137
it's all gone literally
onto his exhaust.
478
00:24:18,204 --> 00:24:20,310
Oh, no. Never mind.
Look, I need your help.
479
00:24:20,378 --> 00:24:21,943
Right, saw its head off.
480
00:24:23,885 --> 00:24:26,825
- Ah, there we go.
- Excellent.
481
00:24:26,971 --> 00:24:29,252
- I think, but I'm not sure...
- It's gone under his seat.
482
00:24:29,435 --> 00:24:30,521
Oh, no. Has it?
483
00:24:30,621 --> 00:24:32,155
It's all right,
I'll get it out later.
484
00:24:36,357 --> 00:24:38,457
Oh, it's done a treat, this.
485
00:24:38,859 --> 00:24:40,494
Look at this, Hammond.
486
00:24:42,363 --> 00:24:44,396
Mm.
487
00:24:44,636 --> 00:24:46,146
Oh, that's all right, isn't it?
488
00:24:48,183 --> 00:24:49,810
Ooh.
489
00:24:55,061 --> 00:24:56,897
It tastes like fish, doesn't it?
490
00:24:58,010 --> 00:25:00,575
OK, does anybody want a beer?
491
00:25:01,313 --> 00:25:02,521
- Have you got some?
- No.
492
00:25:02,654 --> 00:25:05,157
Oh, you...
493
00:25:05,404 --> 00:25:07,920
That deserves a stabbing.
494
00:25:07,987 --> 00:25:09,055
That is a proper stabbing.
495
00:25:09,097 --> 00:25:10,365
That's properly out of order.
496
00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:15,294
After lunch,
497
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,845
we set off once more
into the dunes.
498
00:25:20,509 --> 00:25:23,157
Right,
so let's keep heading east.
499
00:25:23,243 --> 00:25:26,025
And we must come to
a road at some...
500
00:25:26,056 --> 00:25:28,743
There has to be a road.
501
00:25:28,975 --> 00:25:31,993
But, for mile after mile,
502
00:25:32,103 --> 00:25:33,407
there wasn't.
503
00:25:44,923 --> 00:25:46,325
It's the Namib Desert.
504
00:25:46,462 --> 00:25:51,263
"Namib" in the local dialect
means "big nothing".
505
00:25:56,532 --> 00:26:00,275
It must be the prettiest
desert in the world.
506
00:26:00,505 --> 00:26:02,525
It's just a sea of dunes.
507
00:26:07,723 --> 00:26:11,247
Dunes which were getting bigger.
508
00:26:11,395 --> 00:26:14,253
Bloody Nora,
look at the size of that!
509
00:26:16,222 --> 00:26:20,598
Engaging 180 horsepower.
510
00:26:20,778 --> 00:26:23,622
Climbing them in our
two-wheel-drive beach buggies
511
00:26:23,647 --> 00:26:25,282
was becoming tricky.
512
00:26:27,266 --> 00:26:32,471
Come on, you can do this.
You can do this!
513
00:26:32,496 --> 00:26:37,169
But by deploying the V8,
I was sort of all right.
514
00:26:37,286 --> 00:26:38,614
Yes!
515
00:26:38,708 --> 00:26:41,647
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
516
00:26:41,856 --> 00:26:45,809
Hammond had grippy tyres,
so he was all right, too.
517
00:26:45,997 --> 00:26:48,520
Please, make it. Please.
518
00:26:49,893 --> 00:26:51,127
Please!
519
00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:54,583
Ho-ho!
520
00:26:54,755 --> 00:26:56,153
There you go!
521
00:26:56,295 --> 00:26:59,559
However, back in the 1960s...
522
00:27:01,963 --> 00:27:04,199
Come on, little car.
523
00:27:05,215 --> 00:27:06,458
Oh, no, no, no.
524
00:27:06,552 --> 00:27:08,036
No, no.
525
00:27:19,380 --> 00:27:20,567
- Stuck?
- Yes.
526
00:27:20,676 --> 00:27:22,840
Two problems. Number one,
527
00:27:22,950 --> 00:27:24,934
he's put a 90 horsepower
engine in it,
528
00:27:24,975 --> 00:27:27,005
which actually
is probably only 40.
529
00:27:27,122 --> 00:27:28,278
- Yeah.
- And number two,
530
00:27:28,364 --> 00:27:30,997
he will not use full power ever.
531
00:27:31,038 --> 00:27:34,661
Well, he's got a 90 horsepower
engine, but a 5 horsepower foot.
532
00:27:36,435 --> 00:27:39,598
And I bet you any money he's
saying "I had a misfire."
533
00:27:47,348 --> 00:27:49,622
You've got to push the
accelerator all the way to...
534
00:27:49,661 --> 00:27:51,153
I know, but... I know that.
535
00:27:51,231 --> 00:27:52,871
It occasionally has
a little misfire moment,
536
00:27:52,895 --> 00:27:54,278
and then I lose it.
537
00:27:54,526 --> 00:27:56,294
He said it!
538
00:27:58,061 --> 00:28:00,708
And so the afternoon continued.
539
00:28:00,778 --> 00:28:04,830
The Grunt Machine and the Grit
Machine would forge ahead...
540
00:28:05,012 --> 00:28:08,458
There is no way in hell
I'm doing this!
541
00:28:08,758 --> 00:28:10,394
Yes!
542
00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:15,786
You star!
543
00:28:15,911 --> 00:28:17,075
And then there'd be
544
00:28:17,114 --> 00:28:19,656
the inevitable radio exchange.
545
00:28:19,989 --> 00:28:22,419
We appear to be a man down,
Jeremy.
546
00:28:22,575 --> 00:28:24,683
James May, where are you?
547
00:28:29,786 --> 00:28:31,669
Because we spent so much time
548
00:28:31,942 --> 00:28:34,278
waiting for Captain Misfire,
549
00:28:34,393 --> 00:28:37,496
we were still in the desert
as dusk fell.
550
00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:41,600
And failing light meant it
was hard to spot obstacles.
551
00:28:42,951 --> 00:28:44,652
Right, sit rep.
552
00:28:44,883 --> 00:28:48,137
Jesus Christ!
553
00:28:50,130 --> 00:28:51,309
Holy...
554
00:28:54,278 --> 00:28:56,106
Oh, my God!
555
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,981
Oh, shit!
556
00:28:59,192 --> 00:29:00,719
Look at it!
557
00:29:00,786 --> 00:29:03,223
Mate, I've got to have a look.
558
00:29:05,433 --> 00:29:08,614
Oh, shitty death...
559
00:29:10,396 --> 00:29:13,299
- I locked up. That was just...
- Look, he's buried!
560
00:29:13,365 --> 00:29:16,968
- You've buried the front.
- I was completely locked up.
561
00:29:17,103 --> 00:29:18,979
'Cause I would have
gone down that.
562
00:29:19,065 --> 00:29:20,567
Look at it!
563
00:29:22,611 --> 00:29:25,573
My close shave was a reminder
that, after dark,
564
00:29:25,656 --> 00:29:29,393
these dunes would become
very, very dangerous.
565
00:29:34,893 --> 00:29:37,722
It's getting harder and harder
to read the terrain now.
566
00:29:37,862 --> 00:29:39,495
Is that a drop?
Is that a hill?
567
00:29:39,535 --> 00:29:42,026
Is that going up? Is that a cliff?
What is it?
568
00:29:44,263 --> 00:29:46,753
Peril... peril.
569
00:29:47,733 --> 00:29:49,323
Oh, shit!
570
00:29:49,432 --> 00:29:51,370
Oh, I think there's
a drop off there.
571
00:29:52,175 --> 00:29:54,126
It's just a black abyss.
572
00:29:54,175 --> 00:29:58,016
That could be
a huge cliff again.
573
00:30:00,279 --> 00:30:02,766
Eventually,
we could take no more,
574
00:30:02,804 --> 00:30:07,751
and we had to settle down for a
second night around our engines.
575
00:30:31,188 --> 00:30:34,164
We will find a road.
There must...
576
00:30:34,189 --> 00:30:36,443
- It can't... It can't go on forever, can it?
- No.
577
00:30:36,498 --> 00:30:40,779
It has to... There will be
a town, a road... something.
578
00:30:43,222 --> 00:30:46,285
Unfortunately,
to find salvation,
579
00:30:46,458 --> 00:30:50,308
we still had to climb
more dunes.
580
00:30:50,596 --> 00:30:54,233
Climb them and then
get down the other side.
581
00:30:54,581 --> 00:30:56,082
Oh, my God!
582
00:30:57,771 --> 00:30:59,519
Well, that's just a cliff!
583
00:31:01,269 --> 00:31:03,538
Whoa! Aargh!
584
00:31:10,282 --> 00:31:13,385
Whoa, this is a monster.
585
00:31:13,452 --> 00:31:16,816
Oh!
I don't think I can do...!
586
00:31:16,991 --> 00:31:19,627
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
587
00:31:24,730 --> 00:31:28,367
Whoa-a-a-a-a-a!
588
00:31:31,238 --> 00:31:32,824
Here we go.
589
00:31:33,113 --> 00:31:35,754
All three of us
simultaneously...
590
00:31:39,090 --> 00:31:40,336
Holy shit.
591
00:31:40,417 --> 00:31:42,832
Oh-h-h-h, shit!
592
00:31:43,204 --> 00:31:46,058
Argh-hhh! Ha-ha!
593
00:31:46,104 --> 00:31:49,007
Whoa-a-a-a-a!
594
00:31:51,290 --> 00:31:52,840
I wasn't scared.
595
00:31:57,062 --> 00:31:58,629
Oh, my God.
596
00:31:58,808 --> 00:32:02,316
Guys, this is the biggest yet
by a country mile.
597
00:32:03,805 --> 00:32:07,108
Whoa-a-a-a-a-a!
598
00:32:07,715 --> 00:32:08,835
Is that the size of the drop
599
00:32:08,877 --> 00:32:10,918
or what's happened to his penis?
600
00:32:13,494 --> 00:32:16,191
Right, then. Let's see
what all the fuss is about.
601
00:32:16,447 --> 00:32:18,416
Holy shit!
602
00:32:21,344 --> 00:32:26,283
Oh-h-h-h-h!
603
00:32:29,207 --> 00:32:30,426
Phwoar.
604
00:32:30,487 --> 00:32:32,189
And now straighten
those wheels, Richard,
605
00:32:32,237 --> 00:32:33,456
straighten them,
606
00:32:33,544 --> 00:32:35,113
because you've got to
go down straight.
607
00:32:35,179 --> 00:32:39,250
Holy shit.
Oh-h-h-h-h, shit!
608
00:32:39,614 --> 00:32:41,416
That is frightening.
609
00:32:47,046 --> 00:32:48,777
Love this desert.
610
00:32:49,113 --> 00:32:51,182
I'm never, ever, ever happier
611
00:32:51,317 --> 00:32:53,558
than I am when I'm in a desert.
612
00:32:53,824 --> 00:32:57,889
And this... this is the best
desert I've ever been to.
613
00:33:00,449 --> 00:33:02,628
You can never really lose
sight of the fact, though,
614
00:33:02,694 --> 00:33:04,330
that what it actually is
615
00:33:04,488 --> 00:33:08,134
is a big, orange killing engine.
616
00:33:08,946 --> 00:33:12,063
Now, a big crest's coming up.
No idea.
617
00:33:12,422 --> 00:33:15,618
Gentle rolling hill
or massive cliff?
618
00:33:15,755 --> 00:33:17,759
I don't know, Hammond!
619
00:33:17,905 --> 00:33:20,107
Hammond, seriously.
620
00:33:20,243 --> 00:33:22,010
Shit, he's gone.
621
00:33:22,337 --> 00:33:25,392
Hammond's gone, everyone.
Hammond's gone. Big one.
622
00:33:28,693 --> 00:33:30,392
Oh, me.
623
00:33:37,235 --> 00:33:41,321
How the did you get down that?
624
00:33:41,868 --> 00:33:44,079
With my eyes shut!
625
00:33:44,285 --> 00:33:46,938
That was terrifying!
626
00:33:49,337 --> 00:33:51,657
Jesus!
627
00:33:59,336 --> 00:34:01,271
As we continued to head east,
628
00:34:01,299 --> 00:34:03,601
the terrain
eventually levelled out...
629
00:34:07,959 --> 00:34:12,329
which meant we swapped terror
for extreme discomfort.
630
00:34:14,868 --> 00:34:17,904
Ah. Oh, God Almighty.
631
00:34:18,251 --> 00:34:21,048
I don't think these cars
were actually designed
632
00:34:21,103 --> 00:34:23,579
to take this much punishment.
633
00:34:23,696 --> 00:34:26,313
And I know we weren't.
634
00:34:26,657 --> 00:34:28,154
The only thing is,
635
00:34:28,204 --> 00:34:31,751
James's car rides lower
than this and will be worse.
636
00:34:31,993 --> 00:34:34,886
Argh! Ow!
637
00:34:34,953 --> 00:34:36,688
Ow! Ow! Ow!
638
00:34:38,424 --> 00:34:40,592
Agh!
639
00:34:40,659 --> 00:34:42,658
Soon, the relentless battering
640
00:34:42,737 --> 00:34:45,407
started to cause breakdowns.
641
00:34:46,863 --> 00:34:49,966
Sand... Sand in gear shift.
642
00:34:50,330 --> 00:34:53,390
My throttle is
jammed wide open, people.
643
00:35:03,632 --> 00:35:06,679
The problem is that every
time the air filter, here,
644
00:35:06,734 --> 00:35:09,320
turns as I'm driving along...
Which it does...
645
00:35:09,446 --> 00:35:11,843
It's jamming the throttle.
646
00:35:14,791 --> 00:35:16,538
What's going on here?
647
00:35:17,891 --> 00:35:19,192
What's up?
648
00:35:19,398 --> 00:35:21,054
The throttle is now jamming
649
00:35:21,099 --> 00:35:22,796
fully open all the time.
650
00:35:22,885 --> 00:35:24,906
Oh, problem.
651
00:35:42,517 --> 00:35:43,906
Oh, God.
652
00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:49,291
It is still moving.
653
00:35:49,632 --> 00:35:51,393
Many miles ahead,
654
00:35:51,624 --> 00:35:54,968
we'd pulled over for a break
from the endless bumps,
655
00:35:55,085 --> 00:35:58,210
and James was being
very interesting!
656
00:36:01,507 --> 00:36:04,226
The good thing about this hat is you
can angle it, like a heliostat,
657
00:36:04,273 --> 00:36:05,726
to where the sun's coming from.
658
00:36:05,820 --> 00:36:07,390
Yes, that's true.
659
00:36:07,562 --> 00:36:09,578
But you still look a tit.
660
00:36:10,147 --> 00:36:12,918
Luckily for Hammond, who
could do with the company,
661
00:36:13,129 --> 00:36:15,786
I was back on the move.
662
00:36:15,989 --> 00:36:20,200
Right, a new style of driving
is now required.
663
00:36:20,379 --> 00:36:24,020
This arm for steering,
this arm for changing gear,
664
00:36:24,129 --> 00:36:29,137
and then another arm
for deaccelerating, like so.
665
00:36:29,267 --> 00:36:31,137
Yes!
666
00:36:31,236 --> 00:36:32,871
Accelerate.
667
00:36:34,714 --> 00:36:36,543
Deaccelerate.
668
00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:39,277
Sometimes, if you
listen very carefully,
669
00:36:39,344 --> 00:36:41,317
you can hear my genius.
670
00:36:43,418 --> 00:36:45,395
Back as a threesome,
we continued
671
00:36:45,470 --> 00:36:49,489
with our seemingly
endless journey to the east.
672
00:36:49,770 --> 00:36:53,262
Just need to find a road now.
This is not funny any more.
673
00:36:53,364 --> 00:36:55,371
Enough desert.
674
00:36:55,489 --> 00:36:57,292
I don't want another night
in the desert.
675
00:36:59,137 --> 00:37:02,403
I smell pretty bad.
676
00:37:02,512 --> 00:37:03,752
And I suspect that if we manage
677
00:37:03,817 --> 00:37:06,786
to find somewhere tonight
near civilisation,
678
00:37:06,934 --> 00:37:08,582
we should probably
have a ceremonial
679
00:37:08,607 --> 00:37:11,051
bonfire of the underpants.
680
00:37:11,528 --> 00:37:12,548
In truth, though,
681
00:37:12,573 --> 00:37:15,809
I thought we'd be
in the desert forever.
682
00:37:16,142 --> 00:37:19,895
But then,
late in the afternoon...
683
00:37:20,550 --> 00:37:26,063
I'm looking ahead, and I'm not
seeing an endless sea of sand.
684
00:37:27,090 --> 00:37:29,026
I'm seeing green.
685
00:37:30,404 --> 00:37:33,174
Trees!
Those are trees and shrubs!
686
00:37:37,891 --> 00:37:39,106
Pylons!
687
00:37:39,231 --> 00:37:41,903
Pylons!
That means electricity.
688
00:37:45,946 --> 00:37:47,262
Oh, yes!
689
00:37:48,234 --> 00:37:50,020
Civilisation!
690
00:37:51,678 --> 00:37:54,575
And then, best of all...
691
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,395
Oh, my God.
692
00:38:05,470 --> 00:38:08,723
I honestly thought we had
another night of sleeping...
693
00:38:08,762 --> 00:38:09,807
in the sand.
694
00:38:09,832 --> 00:38:12,911
But, no! Look at it!
695
00:38:14,010 --> 00:38:16,012
Nicest thing I've ever seen.
696
00:38:19,547 --> 00:38:21,754
I could go east,
I could go west...
697
00:38:21,826 --> 00:38:24,309
Whichever way you go, it goes
somewhere. That's the point.
698
00:38:24,395 --> 00:38:26,426
It's a road, it goes somewhere.
699
00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:29,386
You know what we've
just done, don't you?
700
00:38:29,791 --> 00:38:33,160
We've just crossed the Namib
Desert in three beach buggies.
701
00:38:33,185 --> 00:38:34,383
- We have.
- We did.
702
00:38:34,412 --> 00:38:35,817
We did.
703
00:38:36,496 --> 00:38:39,328
There is literally nothing
can stop us now.
704
00:38:43,661 --> 00:38:44,697
Admittedly,
705
00:38:44,723 --> 00:38:48,085
our crossing had not exactly
been as the crow flies,
706
00:38:48,217 --> 00:38:50,361
but we had found our road,
707
00:38:50,533 --> 00:38:52,893
and that's all that mattered.
708
00:38:53,529 --> 00:38:54,898
Oh, yes!
709
00:38:54,978 --> 00:38:57,182
That's the best thing
I've ever seen!
710
00:38:57,299 --> 00:39:00,760
Yes, it is the road to freedom!
711
00:39:01,411 --> 00:39:03,780
What the hell was that?
712
00:39:05,797 --> 00:39:09,563
Something has just exploded
at the back of my car.
713
00:39:09,691 --> 00:39:11,893
Oh, dear.
714
00:39:11,992 --> 00:39:14,367
By the time my colleagues
had got back to me,
715
00:39:14,453 --> 00:39:17,300
I'd worked out
what the problem was.
716
00:39:17,417 --> 00:39:19,577
It's really straightforward, OK?
717
00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:22,875
- The top bolt has come out of the shock absorber.
- Right.
718
00:39:22,917 --> 00:39:26,664
It shot up, boinged
into the coolant pipe,
719
00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:29,906
and three gallons of water
have simply burst out,
720
00:39:29,949 --> 00:39:32,945
going everywhere
except into the engine.
721
00:39:33,219 --> 00:39:36,445
- Right.
- So all I've got to do is reattach the top bolt...
722
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:40,820
mend the pipe and find
three gallons of water...
723
00:39:41,102 --> 00:39:45,640
which I shall get from a passing
motorist, and I'll be on my way.
724
00:39:46,039 --> 00:39:47,429
- Right.
- All I could do with a hand with
725
00:39:47,453 --> 00:39:48,492
is just lifting the car up
726
00:39:48,516 --> 00:39:51,600
so I can reattach the, um...
727
00:39:51,678 --> 00:39:54,124
Yeah. Well,
is there anybody here?
728
00:39:54,287 --> 00:39:55,625
- There's...
- I suppose a motorist will pass eventually.
729
00:39:55,649 --> 00:39:59,007
The one that gives you water
will also lift it up for you.
730
00:39:59,075 --> 00:40:00,905
You could just
lift it up a little bit.
731
00:40:01,022 --> 00:40:02,843
Or we could go and have a beer.
732
00:40:02,904 --> 00:40:05,053
- I hear traffic. - Yes.
- We'd better not be here.
733
00:40:05,078 --> 00:40:06,639
We don't want to interfere
when you're trying to talk
734
00:40:06,663 --> 00:40:08,546
'cause we might put them off.
735
00:40:13,515 --> 00:40:14,989
Right.
736
00:40:25,927 --> 00:40:29,982
Somewhere along here
there will be a place,
737
00:40:30,161 --> 00:40:33,028
and that place
will have a bar in it
738
00:40:33,175 --> 00:40:34,888
that will contain beer.
739
00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:41,200
Do you have any water?
740
00:40:41,466 --> 00:40:42,482
- Huh?
- Water.
741
00:40:42,536 --> 00:40:44,544
Because the radiator has blown,
742
00:40:44,569 --> 00:40:46,310
so I need just three gallons.
743
00:40:46,427 --> 00:40:49,825
Look, you've got some water
there. Just a bucket.
744
00:40:53,011 --> 00:40:55,881
It's an actual water lorry...
745
00:40:56,065 --> 00:40:59,153
leaking water,
and he won't give me any.
746
00:41:03,331 --> 00:41:05,513
Eventually,
I flagged down a local
747
00:41:05,587 --> 00:41:07,677
who had water to spare.
748
00:41:07,778 --> 00:41:09,638
Thank you.
749
00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:12,646
And then I got on
with the repairs.
750
00:41:13,075 --> 00:41:16,911
That is one reassembled
shock absorber.
751
00:41:17,138 --> 00:41:18,568
That's reattached,
752
00:41:18,607 --> 00:41:21,482
so that's the cooling system
back in one piece.
753
00:41:25,423 --> 00:41:28,888
After an exhausting
five-hour drive,
754
00:41:28,989 --> 00:41:31,677
Richard and I finally
reached a town,
755
00:41:31,786 --> 00:41:36,139
which turned out to be Windhoek,
756
00:41:36,435 --> 00:41:39,575
and we too were
taking on liquids.
757
00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:56,873
Mm.
758
00:42:04,433 --> 00:42:06,372
Back out on the highway, though,
759
00:42:06,509 --> 00:42:08,997
things weren't so good.
760
00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:14,021
What I'm driving here - or
attempting to drive - is Apollo 13.
761
00:42:14,243 --> 00:42:15,744
There's some air
trapped in the system
762
00:42:15,811 --> 00:42:18,982
and I've had to make
a small hole in the front
763
00:42:19,038 --> 00:42:20,443
to get at the radiator.
764
00:42:20,515 --> 00:42:21,536
Bled that,
765
00:42:21,602 --> 00:42:23,388
bled all the stuff
going into the engine.
766
00:42:23,441 --> 00:42:24,542
This is the header pipe.
767
00:42:24,604 --> 00:42:26,305
Everything is bled, and yet,
768
00:42:26,357 --> 00:42:28,838
you do a mile, it overheats.
769
00:42:29,070 --> 00:42:31,044
Another mile, overheats.
770
00:42:42,438 --> 00:42:47,005
Well, we've covered...
20 miles in four hours.
771
00:43:01,693 --> 00:43:06,762
This is the sixth time
in 30 miles that's happened.
772
00:43:06,966 --> 00:43:09,765
Whilst my colleagues
embraced beer and bed,
773
00:43:09,832 --> 00:43:13,502
I steeled myself
for the longest, coldest,
774
00:43:13,661 --> 00:43:17,440
most frustrating night
of my life.
775
00:43:22,780 --> 00:43:24,669
The roads are getting worse.
776
00:43:24,802 --> 00:43:27,232
Honestly, my bones
are going to shatter.
777
00:43:27,911 --> 00:43:29,958
Oh, my God!
778
00:43:35,358 --> 00:43:39,419
- I've had a great idea.
- Oh, no.
779
00:43:39,967 --> 00:43:42,169
Oh, shit, it's really high!
780
00:43:44,193 --> 00:43:45,239
Το 2ο Μερος 31/12/16
55846
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