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1
00:00:01,284 --> 00:00:04,502
Whoo, JJ. I've got fantastic news.
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:05,570
Dylan?
3
00:00:06,471 --> 00:00:09,293
I found your perfect aide for college.
4
00:00:09,296 --> 00:00:10,661
I said play the trumpets.
5
00:00:10,664 --> 00:00:12,178
And I said 5 bucks.
6
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:18,062
This guy's good. His name is
Tim, and he's willing to relocate.
7
00:00:18,065 --> 00:00:20,219
"Abilities Magazine"
named him one of the 30
8
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:21,787
hottest aides under 30.
9
00:00:21,790 --> 00:00:23,060
And there's this thing where celebrities
10
00:00:23,062 --> 00:00:25,390
pre-hire aides in case
they get paralyzed.
11
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:26,742
He's Jake Gyllenhaal's.
12
00:00:26,745 --> 00:00:28,781
The thing is, this Tim
guy lives in Seattle,
13
00:00:28,784 --> 00:00:30,362
and he is in demand.
14
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,818
If we want him, we've got to grab him.
15
00:00:31,820 --> 00:00:33,732
Maybe make a road trip out of it?
16
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,002
One last JJ adventure before college?
17
00:00:36,004 --> 00:00:37,269
- Did someone say "JJ adventure"?
- Aah!
18
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:40,023
God, you just called
me from the supermarket.
19
00:00:40,026 --> 00:00:43,332
"This isn't one of our
spontaneous road trips.
20
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,231
They found a great aide for me to meet."
21
00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:48,280
Plus, we know you've been
looking for opportunities
22
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,682
to make new JJ memories
before he's gone.
23
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:51,917
Do you know how much it turns me on
24
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:53,747
when you engineer mummy-son moments?
25
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:54,920
Ew.
26
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:56,888
Well, I'd like to kick
the tires on this guy.
27
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,491
And I'd love to see
Seattle... Check out Starbucks.
28
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:01,330
I'm not sure if the
first one's still there.
29
00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:02,465
The first one's there?
30
00:01:02,468 --> 00:01:03,996
All right! Road trip!
31
00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,398
Uh, Mom and Dad, too bad
this wasn't your idea.
32
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,001
You didn't have time to write
new lyrics to "Born To Be Wild".
33
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,929
Vamp. I'm almost there, darling.
34
00:01:14,932 --> 00:01:17,876
♪ Annual DiMeo road trip ♪
35
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:21,547
♪ We didn't have time to practice ♪
36
00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:24,383
♪ I wrote this in ten seconds ♪
37
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:27,488
♪ So please give us a break ♪
38
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:32,924
♪ It's a rug frog
with a destitution ♪
39
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,227
♪ We've never dug
one of these bagels ♪
40
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:39,031
♪ Just read what I wrote, darling ♪
41
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:42,234
♪ I think I need glasses ♪
42
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,802
A little further away?
43
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,571
Not their best work.
44
00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:49,408
♪ Not our best work ♪
45
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:53,478
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
46
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,813
Let's play 20 questions. I'll go first.
47
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,596
Why do you think I'm dressed like this?
48
00:01:57,599 --> 00:02:00,030
Does it trouble you that
we've been driving for hours
49
00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:01,553
and no one's cared to ask?
50
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,322
Yes. 19 left.
51
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:05,057
Why are you dressed this way, Ray?
52
00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:06,992
Well, I realized my college résumé
53
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,460
was a pile of human waste.
54
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,562
So I decided to join the Eagle Scouts
55
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,165
and beef up my extracurriculars.
56
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:17,236
- It's a little noose-y.
- Look, Kenneth.
57
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:20,772
An old friend wants to say "Hello."
58
00:02:20,775 --> 00:02:22,941
The JJ care manual!
59
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,843
Hello, Kenneth, my old friend.
60
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:28,314
Now it's time to share
me with another newbie.
61
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,216
But we've been through a lot, Kenneth.
62
00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,611
We are going to miss you.
63
00:02:32,803 --> 00:02:36,207
Binder, you said "we."
64
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,635
The binder's right, Kenneth.
65
00:02:44,162 --> 00:02:47,163
Pop, I don't want to overuse
the "Are we there yet?",
66
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,494
but stuff's getting weird back here.
67
00:02:49,497 --> 00:02:51,969
Our timing's gonna depend
on how many more unscheduled
68
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:54,572
mother-son photo ops
your mom tries to jam in.
69
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,842
Ooh! An ordinary bird. Quick, stop.
70
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,385
How many more pictures with JJ?
71
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,619
All of these stops
are making me carsick.
72
00:03:01,622 --> 00:03:03,846
Ray, you know the
DiMeo road trip rule...
73
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,651
Getting carsick isn't a choice...
74
00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:08,787
But letting the vomit
leave your mouth is.
75
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,346
Ooh! Make a right here.
76
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,995
And then a left to get
back on the real road?
77
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:18,697
No, no, no. It's a shortcut.
78
00:03:21,169 --> 00:03:23,752
I wouldn't go down
that way if I was you.
79
00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:28,416
Road's mighty bumpy, and
those tires look a little bald.
80
00:03:28,419 --> 00:03:29,741
You're bald.
81
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,174
Sorry, but you did set me up.
82
00:03:34,177 --> 00:03:36,414
Anyway, my map's
telling me this shortcut
83
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,517
gets us to Seattle two hours early.
84
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,752
Your funeral.
85
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:49,822
So... what are we thinking about that?
86
00:03:49,825 --> 00:03:52,827
I think we're DiMeos and
we can handle a few bumps.
87
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,913
Just two more miles like this,
then we hit a gas station.
88
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,482
Then 30 more miles like this.
89
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:20,091
I told you we should've
listened to that old man!
90
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,694
Yep, that's a rock.
91
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,863
Boom! Geology badge.
92
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,266
"Do we have spare tires?"
93
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,434
Sure do.
94
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,938
Been driving on them for four years.
95
00:04:31,677 --> 00:04:33,939
All right. Anybody have any reception?
96
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,942
Aha!
97
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,377
I found a quarter.
98
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,554
Helpful, Dylan.
99
00:04:39,557 --> 00:04:41,813
You going for a jealousy badge, Scout?
100
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,282
Maybe someone will come along
101
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,682
and I could stop them
with a flash of ankle.
102
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:47,052
I don't think anyone's coming.
103
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,820
We should probably just roll the tires
104
00:04:48,823 --> 00:04:50,108
to that gas station up the road.
105
00:04:50,111 --> 00:04:52,157
"I'll take one. Lay it on me."
106
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,925
Come on, dirt road selfie time, JJ.
107
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:54,995
Oh!
108
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:58,797
Aah!
109
00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,998
Maya's JJ bible!
110
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:00,999
Ow!
111
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,134
Oh, my hitchhiking ankle!
112
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,783
Who would want you now?
113
00:05:04,786 --> 00:05:06,672
On a scale of 1 to 10,
what's your pain level?
114
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,218
Aah! 2!
115
00:05:08,221 --> 00:05:09,408
Help me up.
116
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,609
Ahh. Ah!
117
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,111
I'm fine to walk into town with JJ.
118
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,179
Watch me.
119
00:05:14,182 --> 00:05:15,281
Aah!
120
00:05:15,283 --> 00:05:17,649
Aah!
121
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,685
And so on.
122
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,585
JJ, you better stay here with your mom.
123
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:23,355
I'll take the tires into town myself.
124
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,592
"How will you carry two flat tires?"
125
00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:29,029
Check this out.
126
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,865
Ah... Oh.
127
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,706
Son of a...
128
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,413
So heavy.
129
00:05:48,072 --> 00:05:49,213
And so on.
130
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,516
No!
131
00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:53,049
The book... It fell in the river!
132
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,286
The pages, they... They washed away.
133
00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:56,488
My life's work.
134
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,713
And the only thing that
gave your life meaning.
135
00:05:58,716 --> 00:06:00,992
- What should we do?
- We got to re-create it
136
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,596
while it is still fresh in my mind.
137
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,299
I will help you, my friend.
138
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,892
"We need to hurry.
139
00:06:07,895 --> 00:06:09,900
The woods are making them weird."
140
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,169
I'll go, too.
141
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,564
This quarter is burning
a hole in my pocket.
142
00:06:13,567 --> 00:06:14,862
Okay, but I want to
make something clear.
143
00:06:14,864 --> 00:06:16,875
We're not gonna have any
fun and we're not gonna make
144
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,611
any memories that your mom might
feel like she's missing out on.
145
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,079
Yes, don't enjoy yourselves.
146
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,564
That is all I ask.
147
00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:23,982
Ray, you coming?
148
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,050
Hardly.
149
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,054
A scout's place is in the jungle.
150
00:06:27,057 --> 00:06:29,955
Th... This is not a-a...
151
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,189
We'll be back soon.
152
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,659
All right. Page 1...
153
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:35,260
Welcome to the family.
154
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:40,463
You are not, nor will you
ever be good enough for this.
155
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,377
Y'all need a mechanic?
156
00:06:45,380 --> 00:06:47,968
"Didn't we just see you on the road?"
157
00:06:47,971 --> 00:06:49,507
Oh, that must have been my brother.
158
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,754
He likes to warn travelers
about that bumpy road.
159
00:06:51,757 --> 00:06:53,757
The mechanic will be back soon enough.
160
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,881
Y'all can wait in the
diner across the way.
161
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:58,916
"World's best waffles?
162
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,752
Let's make them prove it."
163
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,521
And I can spend my quarter.
164
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,022
I've been holding it so long,
165
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:06,224
the Dumbledore guy's printed on my palm.
166
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,510
I don't know, guys.
167
00:07:07,513 --> 00:07:09,894
It's not a great look for
us to be eating waffles
168
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:12,499
while the rest of them
are stranded in the woods.
169
00:07:12,502 --> 00:07:13,804
Let's just stay here.
170
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:20,138
Or in a seat with a view of here.
171
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,173
Expectations low.
172
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,875
This will be empty and depressing.
173
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,255
Man, your worldview is flawed.
174
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,056
I'm off to forage.
175
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,292
I'm gonna bring some extra
sustenance just in case.
176
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,229
Hey, how do you make a,
uh, a scout journal dance?
177
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,965
Put a little jerky in it.
178
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,400
Not sure that makes sense.
179
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:49,868
He likes a clever exit line.
180
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,637
So hilarious, darling.
181
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,439
- Well done.
- Yeah, bye.
182
00:07:53,441 --> 00:07:55,340
All right, where were we?
183
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,075
Let's double back to the prologue.
184
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,778
"And in the beginning,
there was JJ and Maya.
185
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:03,549
And the JJ was with Maya, and
the JJ was Maya... " Oh, no.
186
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:04,664
That can't be right, can it?
187
00:08:04,666 --> 00:08:06,174
No, that's what you wrote.
188
00:08:06,177 --> 00:08:09,086
It is so much harder to
re-create it in my mind.
189
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,757
Well, if you're stumped,
then I have very good news.
190
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:13,861
I made a copy,
191
00:08:13,864 --> 00:08:17,495
and I brought mine to show Tim, too!
192
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:21,032
Oh, Kenneth, I could kiss you...
193
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,585
if it weren't strictly prohibited
194
00:08:22,588 --> 00:08:25,172
in the section on
mother-helper interactions.
195
00:08:26,227 --> 00:08:27,960
You changed it.
196
00:08:27,963 --> 00:08:29,475
I sure did.
197
00:08:29,477 --> 00:08:32,878
With Care Book 2.0,
JJ's ready for anything.
198
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,304
I made a few changes,
made some corrections.
199
00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,616
Oh, it's way better.
200
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,052
Oh, Maya...
201
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,744
you've suddenly developed
an unrelated eye twitch.
202
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,325
- Wow.
- Mmm.
203
00:08:47,328 --> 00:08:51,799
"These really are the world's
best waffles. Try one, Dad."
204
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,132
No, I don't need breakfast.
205
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:58,038
I just need this mechanic to
get back from his break, fast.
206
00:08:59,494 --> 00:09:01,306
Just a couple flats,
guys. Okay to laugh.
207
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,093
Hey, Mabel or something like that.
208
00:09:03,096 --> 00:09:05,310
What kind of trouble
can I get into with this?
209
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:07,513
We got prize machines in the back.
210
00:09:07,515 --> 00:09:08,991
A machine for 25 cents?!
211
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,417
She'll figure it out.
212
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,418
Mm-hmm.
213
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,588
I'm sorry I'm not that much fun.
214
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,056
We just got to get out of here.
215
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,272
Aren't you nervous about
missing the big Tim meeting?
216
00:09:21,989 --> 00:09:24,729
"I'm nervous about a lot.
217
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:26,460
Can I ask you something?
218
00:09:26,463 --> 00:09:28,333
Don't tell Mom."
219
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:31,069
W... Just a... father-son powwow?
220
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,270
Just for fathers and sons?
221
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,405
No moms or siblings allowed?
222
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,509
Sure, sure.
223
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:41,647
"College is starting to feel real now...
224
00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,715
Being on my own
225
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:47,085
without you or Mom or Kenneth.
226
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,987
How do I meet people?
227
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,558
It's hard for me."
228
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:56,762
Buddy, college is the
place to be nonverbal.
229
00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:58,764
All anybody wants to do
is talk about themselves.
230
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:01,466
You ask a question and just let them go.
231
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,538
But you're great,
232
00:10:02,541 --> 00:10:04,202
and people will see that.
233
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,872
It... It can be a slow start.
234
00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,874
It was for me.
235
00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:10,077
I think I ended up okay.
236
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,171
"Ending up like you?
237
00:10:14,174 --> 00:10:15,617
I'll take it."
238
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:20,452
It's nice to get to talk like this.
239
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,954
You know what? I'll take a bite.
240
00:10:28,989 --> 00:10:30,094
Wow.
241
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,129
Wow!
242
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,164
Oh, wow. Mechanic's back.
243
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,366
Mm. Practice meeting someone.
244
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,237
Get, like, 100 more of these.
245
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:41,006
This is wrong.
246
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,822
Incomplete.
247
00:10:42,825 --> 00:10:44,493
"Tactics for handling Maya."
248
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,174
Damn it, this would actually work.
249
00:10:47,177 --> 00:10:49,947
Maya, relax. I just filled in some gaps.
250
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:53,025
Oh, so now you think you can
teach me about caring for JJ?
251
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,086
Okay, I'm sensing some tension.
252
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,460
Let me work towards
my communication badge
253
00:10:57,462 --> 00:10:59,053
by practicing mediation
254
00:10:59,057 --> 00:11:02,027
while eating some
probably-not-poisonous plants
255
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:04,018
for my wilderness survival badge.
256
00:11:04,021 --> 00:11:06,089
Mom... tell Kenneth how you feel.
257
00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:13,672
I feel like Kenneth is
second-guessing my ability
258
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:16,016
to care for JJ with his
book of secrets and lies.
259
00:11:16,019 --> 00:11:17,220
Kenneth.
260
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:24,215
I feel that Maya doesn't appreciate
261
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:27,485
the strides JJ has
taken since he met me.
262
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,487
And she is jealous that my book
263
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,456
- covers everything!
- Now...
264
00:11:31,459 --> 00:11:32,973
I think Kenneth is an ungrateful stooge.
265
00:11:32,975 --> 00:11:34,859
And I feel like you can kiss my ass!
266
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:38,029
Great. Now that the, uh,
conflict has been resolved...
267
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,128
- Get out!
- Make me!
268
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:40,182
Oh.
269
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,307
Wh... Get back here with that book!
270
00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:44,569
See ya!
271
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,537
Aah! Are you insane?!
272
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,539
JJ's best pickup lines are in there.
273
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,643
Aah.
274
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:53,072
Decisions, decisions, huh?
275
00:11:53,075 --> 00:11:55,380
The obvious choice is the bouncy ball...
276
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,248
The classic. What are you thinking?
277
00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,449
I'm just waiting to use the restroom.
278
00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,976
But, I mean, that tattoo...
279
00:11:59,979 --> 00:12:03,588
Just the fact that the sun
itself is wearing sunglasses...
280
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,356
that makes you think.
281
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,893
Yeah. You're gonna want
to think on it on the can.
282
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,611
Yell it out when it comes to you.
283
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:13,133
Uh, hello?
284
00:12:15,323 --> 00:12:17,033
Oh, so you are the mechanic.
285
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:18,731
Or... are you the one from the road?
286
00:12:18,734 --> 00:12:20,838
Sounds like you been
talking to my two brothers...
287
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,593
One of whom likes to warn travelers
288
00:12:22,596 --> 00:12:23,942
about the bumpy road,
289
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,226
the other who tells people I'm not here.
290
00:12:26,229 --> 00:12:28,471
Sure. Listen, I've got a couple flats.
291
00:12:28,474 --> 00:12:30,915
Yeah, I can patch them quick.
Now, if you want new ones,
292
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,812
I'll have to go to the next town over.
293
00:12:32,815 --> 00:12:33,984
You'd be here a while.
294
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:37,588
Stuck here with my son?
295
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,524
Well, if the new ones are safer.
296
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,885
Nope, never said that.
297
00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:42,694
Yeah, I'll be in the
diner when they're ready.
298
00:12:45,521 --> 00:12:46,732
Well, you did it.
299
00:12:46,734 --> 00:12:48,018
Broke the record for eating
300
00:12:48,021 --> 00:12:49,796
the most waffles in one sitting.
301
00:12:49,799 --> 00:12:51,602
Oh! Ye... Yeah.
302
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:52,804
Yeah, no, great. I did it.
303
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,694
How'd you even know
that that was the record?
304
00:12:54,697 --> 00:12:55,907
We took that sign down.
305
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,608
No, I saw a sign.
306
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,882
Uh-huh.
307
00:13:01,885 --> 00:13:03,314
All right, very nice.
308
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,482
Yeah! There it is.
309
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:05,884
There, wait for it. And...
310
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,118
Yeah! Perfect!
311
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,586
Nice. Nice!
312
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,588
320's good.
313
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:11,923
Huh?
314
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:15,861
Yeah, first one fit
the tone better, yeah.
315
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,541
It did.
316
00:13:17,544 --> 00:13:18,806
Yeah, okay.
317
00:13:22,025 --> 00:13:24,604
I love you.
318
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,573
I hate it here now.
319
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,008
Uh, hey, Mom.
320
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:33,111
The greens I gave you to
eat about an hour ago...
321
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,843
You haven't swallowed
them yet, have you?
322
00:13:35,846 --> 00:13:37,515
Bear. Bear, bear,
323
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,250
- bear, bear, bear, bear, bear, bear.
- He's back.
324
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,854
- Maya!
- Can't come in my van.
325
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:45,356
Go make your own van
2.0 and get in that.
326
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,491
Let me in! There's a bear out there!
327
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,057
A bear? Was its coat black?
328
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:50,328
It's brown!
329
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,088
Sounds to me like a brown bear.
330
00:13:52,091 --> 00:13:54,032
Really? Does a brown bear
sound like a brown bear?
331
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,033
Let me in!
332
00:13:55,036 --> 00:13:56,734
Your book covers everything.
333
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,804
I'm sure there's a
chapter on imaginary bears.
334
00:13:58,807 --> 00:14:00,369
Aah!
335
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,307
Aah!
336
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,842
Bear, bear, bear!
337
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:06,213
Hey, it was a brown bear.
338
00:14:07,275 --> 00:14:08,921
Tires came back. You're all set.
339
00:14:08,924 --> 00:14:10,949
Oh. Okay.
340
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,418
Is there anything else
you can do to the car?
341
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,726
Maybe change the oil?
342
00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:17,322
Typically, you need the
car present to do that.
343
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,213
Oh, so you're the funny brother.
344
00:14:19,216 --> 00:14:20,251
Oh.
345
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,486
Hey.
346
00:14:23,489 --> 00:14:25,761
I, uh, just talked to the mechanic...
347
00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:30,000
Excuse me. I noticed your,
uh, boy eyeing my tractor.
348
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,670
You two like to take it for a spin?
349
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:36,054
And he said it would be
ready in one tractor ride.
350
00:14:36,057 --> 00:14:37,125
Huh?
351
00:14:39,768 --> 00:14:41,379
Hey, that mechanic ever come back?
352
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,814
I am the mechanic.
353
00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:45,002
Maybe you were talking
to one of my two brothers.
354
00:14:45,005 --> 00:14:47,093
- One of them...
- I don't care. Look, I'm ready to go.
355
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,719
When are you gonna be
done with our tires?
356
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,189
Ah.
357
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,824
I feel, like, 30% manlier.
358
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:53,724
Should we get going?
359
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,692
Don't want to keep them waiting.
360
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,002
Well, of course not.
361
00:14:56,005 --> 00:14:58,930
But, sadly, those darn
tires just aren't ready yet.
362
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,731
Then why would the tire brother
363
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,836
tell me they've been ready for an hour?
364
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,271
Sayonara, suckers!
365
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,041
Felt a lot faster when
we were yelling "Wheee!"
366
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,580
It's okay.
367
00:15:25,583 --> 00:15:28,351
You're inside, and
bears don't know doors.
368
00:15:28,354 --> 00:15:29,895
Oh!
369
00:15:29,897 --> 00:15:31,162
Bears know doors!
370
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,814
Mankind's reign has ended!
371
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,600
Aah!
372
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:38,605
Aah! Mayas know doors!
373
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,033
Check, please.
374
00:15:42,036 --> 00:15:44,741
"Why don't you want to go
back? What's going on, Dad?"
375
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,611
I don't know.
376
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,214
This place is so great.
377
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:51,486
And this is our last road trip.
378
00:15:51,489 --> 00:15:53,556
And you're going away soon.
379
00:15:53,559 --> 00:15:56,796
And I saw an opportunity, and, uh...
380
00:15:57,844 --> 00:16:00,011
I just wanted to spend
time with you, bud.
381
00:16:00,014 --> 00:16:02,626
I've been so focused on making
sure that Mom got time with you
382
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:06,733
because she needs it, but
she's not the only one... Huh.
383
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,767
She's not the only one
who's gonna miss you.
384
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,447
Dad?
385
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:14,683
"Are you crying?"
386
00:16:14,686 --> 00:16:16,606
No, I'm not. No.
387
00:16:20,948 --> 00:16:23,081
No, kids. I'm not
supposed to make you cry.
388
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,183
My job is to make you not-cry.
389
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,452
"It's okay.
390
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,621
Let it out."
391
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:32,913
I am just gonna miss you so much.
392
00:16:32,916 --> 00:16:35,054
And I think about the kids in your dorm
393
00:16:35,057 --> 00:16:38,163
and your professors who
get to see you every day
394
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,864
like it's nothing.
395
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,838
I don't know why they get to do that.
396
00:16:41,841 --> 00:16:45,169
They get to take the
best part of my day...
397
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:48,208
Being with you guys,
being with you alone.
398
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,097
That's it. I just wanted one more day.
399
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:58,216
"Don't worry. There's time for
Mom bonding and Dad bonding.
400
00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,817
I'll make time."
401
00:17:05,365 --> 00:17:07,225
I miss Dad.
402
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,027
So do I.
403
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:10,363
Ayup!
404
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:21,374
This tear is the most
precious prize of all.
405
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,041
So weird.
406
00:17:25,518 --> 00:17:27,612
I can't believe I'm stuck
here with the last person
407
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,914
I'd ever choose to be
eaten by a bear with.
408
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:32,686
Why would you choose to get
eaten by a bear, Kenneth?
409
00:17:32,689 --> 00:17:35,272
Must you undermine me
every chance you get?
410
00:17:35,275 --> 00:17:38,213
I can't believe I ever thought
we were actually friends.
411
00:17:38,216 --> 00:17:40,925
Please. It was always a friendship
of convenience based around JJ.
412
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:41,851
You know what? This is dumb.
413
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,268
- Come on, let's go.
- Yeah.
414
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,233
Oh, no!
415
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:51,085
I don't want to die angry.
It's what everyone would expect.
416
00:17:51,088 --> 00:17:53,704
I could never die angry at you.
417
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:56,274
I only did my manual
to be more like you.
418
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,575
R-Ready for anything.
419
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,210
Aah!
420
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,686
This isn't a friendship
of convenience for me.
421
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,248
Me neither.
422
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,685
Hey, bear!
423
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,589
Ray!
424
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,125
Call me Reverse Goldilocks,
425
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:17,362
'cause this is gonna feel just wrong.
426
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:19,811
I'm big and making noise,
427
00:18:19,814 --> 00:18:21,210
and bears hate
428
00:18:21,213 --> 00:18:23,568
big things making noise.
429
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,197
Ray, stop attracting the bear!
430
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,588
It's supposed to scare the bear!
431
00:18:27,591 --> 00:18:30,307
She's right! You're seducing the bear.
432
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:31,778
Dude looks thirsty.
433
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,012
Or hungry.
434
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,616
It's the jerky smell.
435
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,485
No, there's no more jerky, bear.
436
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,787
This is just my record
of my achievements.
437
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,558
I need this to get into college.
438
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:48,126
Or do I?
439
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:51,143
If the sum of me is
what's on these pages,
440
00:18:51,146 --> 00:18:52,630
am I really anything at all?
441
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,731
Stop it, Ray!
442
00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:56,122
You're making him
hungrier... Or hornier!
443
00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:57,358
You're right.
444
00:18:57,361 --> 00:18:58,838
Goodbye, scout Ray.
445
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,512
Darling, well done!
446
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,914
Oh, I'm so sorry about your scout book.
447
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,149
It's okay.
448
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,718
Facing down a bear
makes collecting badges
449
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,022
just to prove myself
on paper seem silly.
450
00:19:17,124 --> 00:19:19,890
But also, I fought off a frickin' bear!
451
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:22,193
That's gonna look great
in my college essays.
452
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:24,063
- Oh, there he is.
- Maya!
453
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,165
Oh, Kenneth.
454
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,599
Are those your pages?
455
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:29,867
Our pages...
456
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,530
From both manuals!
457
00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:35,506
It's a double JJ Care Book miracle.
458
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,041
Um, excuse me, guys.
459
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:39,703
There's still a bear
very much at large here.
460
00:19:39,706 --> 00:19:41,171
- Right.
- Ow.
461
00:19:41,174 --> 00:19:42,880
Oh, allow me.
462
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,682
Oh.
463
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,552
The least I can do after
you taught me how to do this.
464
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,111
Oh, yeah, and you're doing it
465
00:19:49,114 --> 00:19:50,416
so wrong.
466
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,359
Ah, man.
467
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:57,775
That Tim guy is gonna
love this JJ super book.
468
00:19:57,778 --> 00:19:58,863
Oh, look.
469
00:19:58,865 --> 00:19:59,930
We both have a page
470
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,713
on how to deliver JJ's punch lines.
471
00:20:01,716 --> 00:20:04,033
With a slight head nod.
472
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,036
Maya,
473
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,638
I have come to share my feelings.
474
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,039
I want to spend more time with JJ,
475
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,141
so I want to ride in the back.
476
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:11,260
Oh, that's okay, darling.
477
00:20:11,263 --> 00:20:12,742
I want to sit next to my friend Kenneth.
478
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:15,045
We can tell stories and share secrets.
479
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,248
I have one about Jimmy.
480
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,883
I have one about Jimmy, too.
481
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,087
Bet you're pretty
jealous of my dad tear.
482
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,622
I'm not. Quit asking me.
483
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,224
All right, guys. Let's move 'em out.
484
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,193
Next stop, Tim!
485
00:20:28,195 --> 00:20:29,994
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
486
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,262
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
487
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:32,530
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
488
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,399
Oh, pretty bumpy back here.
489
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,667
- Is it always like this?
- Keep it in the mouth.
490
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,947
- Oh, God.
- Keep it in the mouth.
491
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,274
Seattle!
492
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:45,710
"We made it to Tim."
493
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,245
Man, Seattle people are grouchy.
494
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:48,513
Barely grazed the guy.
495
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,614
I hit his wife's car way harder.
496
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:51,949
Check me out, Seattle.
497
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,386
I am a fish thrower.
498
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,720
Ow!
499
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:57,989
Dude, you got to catch the fish.
500
00:20:57,992 --> 00:21:00,357
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
501
00:21:02,891 --> 00:21:04,595
Intricate, beautiful plan of shortcuts!
502
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,298
We are here for an appointment with Tim.
503
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,325
Tim, your order's ready.
504
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,372
It's Tim!
505
00:21:19,302 --> 00:21:20,878
Oh, oh, oh! You can run!
506
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,426
Well, you're gonna have
a look at this book!
507
00:21:22,428 --> 00:21:24,465
My best friend is talking to you!
508
00:21:24,468 --> 00:21:29,205
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
35466
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