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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,427 - Hey. What's up? - I left my guitar here again. 2 00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:14,013 Oh, okay. No problem. 3 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,351 - Okay. Here you go. - Okay. 4 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,978 Okay, um... 5 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:27,151 - What? - You want to hang out or something? 6 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,195 Phoebe, you caught me at a bad time. 7 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,406 - Oh, are you and Chandler...? - Yes. Exactly. 8 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,117 - Okay. Want me to play for you? - No. 9 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,873 Hey, Pheebs, what's up? 10 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:47,588 You ask an intriguing question, Chandler Bing. 11 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:50,883 [GASPS] 12 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:56,680 Oh, my God! You're getting a massage? You never let me massage you. 13 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,934 - Phoebe, I can explain. - You told me you hate massages. 14 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:05,439 Buy stamps. Pick up dry cleaning. Don't let Phoebe in. 15 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,651 I can't believe this. How long has this been going on? 16 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,530 - Well, uh, Alexandra has... - Oh, it has a name? 17 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,992 Phoebe, don't get upset. 18 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:22,414 Okay. Oh, too late! I'm leaving. Come on, Chandler, let's go. 19 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,584 Well, I thought I'd... 20 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,586 Yeah, what the hell. 21 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,379 - Okay, come on. One more push. - Unh! 22 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,297 Come on, we're almost there. 23 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:16,718 Joey, I'm so happy things worked out for us and we're having this baby together. 24 00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:19,596 - I love you so much. - Oh, I love you too. 25 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:23,058 Mm. I hope it's not an inappropriate time to say this... 26 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,686 ...but you're the best sex I've ever had. 27 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,857 - That's always appropriate. - Ha, ha. 28 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,776 Okay, come on, one more push. One more push. 29 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,070 [GROANS] 30 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:36,780 DOCTOR: There we go. 31 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,365 [RACHEL SIGHS AND BABY CRIES] 32 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:44,788 Here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations. 33 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,337 [SNARLS] 34 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,174 I hope you're a better father than you are a friend! 35 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,801 [BOTH SCREAMING] 36 00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,928 Whoa! Aah, whoa. 37 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,305 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 38 00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,056 - Joey! - What, what? 39 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,727 - What's going on? Uh... - Feel this. Come feel my belly. 40 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,897 The baby's kicking for the first time. Please come feel. 41 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,982 - Really? Uh... - Yes. 42 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,902 You know what? Maybe, uh, you... 43 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,820 Maybe you should come to me. 44 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:20,240 - I'm not wearing any bottoms. - Oh, okay. 45 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,745 - Oh, my God. - Aah! 46 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,705 It's unbelievable! 47 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:30,584 Wow, she is kicking so much. She's like, um... 48 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,795 Who's that kind of annoying girl soccer player? 49 00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,924 - Mia Hamm? - Mia Hamm! 50 00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:40,594 - Oh! It's amazing. - Whoa. One hand on the sheet, Joe. 51 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,805 Whoa, eh. Sorry. 52 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,103 - Hey, babe. MONICA: Hey, honey. 53 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:55,442 We got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing. They don't like us, do they? 54 00:03:56,110 --> 00:04:00,113 Who says you can't get a nice punch bowl for under $6? 55 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,950 - Maybe we can take it back. - Doesn't say where it's from. 56 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:06,536 - Where would we return it? - How about to the street, from the balcony? 57 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,748 Why don't we just find a place for it? 58 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,541 [MUMBLES] 59 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,212 How about in that cabinet? 60 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,964 That's where we keep canned goods. 61 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:20,217 Have you forgotten everything you learned in orientation? 62 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,055 How about the closet by the bathroom? 63 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,266 Oh. Okay. Why don't you let me do it. 64 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,184 No, no, no. I will do it. 65 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:34,564 You have to relax and let your husband take care of things once in a while. 66 00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:37,317 It's locked. You have to help me. 67 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,027 Why is it locked? 68 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,656 No reason. I keep private things in there. 69 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,783 You know, I've been living here a while... 70 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,077 ...and I've never seen what's in that closet. 71 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,246 What is in there? 72 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,290 Feminine stuff. 73 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,960 Don't try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff! 74 00:04:55,169 --> 00:05:00,424 Nothing in there concerns you. If you love me, you'll just let it go. 75 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,762 - Fine. - Thank you. 76 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,853 Love you. 77 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:18,608 Hello, Chandler. Lovely day, huh? You. 78 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:24,906 If it helps, Alexandra's only been massaging Monica for, like, three years. 79 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,996 If! I said, if it helps. 80 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,042 Why won't you let me massage you? 81 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,962 Uh, well, it's... I'd be self-conscious. 82 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,131 You're my friend. I'd be naked. 83 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:45,177 We lived together for years. I've seen you naked. 84 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,805 That's different. We were roommates. And when? 85 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,643 I'm curious about the human body. 86 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,856 You can understand why this would be weird for me. 87 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,817 I'm a professional and I'm really good. 88 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:05,697 If you're uncomfortable, we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay? Please? 89 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,533 Okay, if it means that much to you. 90 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:12,162 It does. How would you feel if you couldn't share your cooking? 91 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,333 Or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldn't teach us about dragons. 92 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:21,546 - Dinosaurs. - Potato, "potato." 93 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,719 - Hey. - Ross, the baby's kicking. 94 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,013 What? It is? 95 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,270 It's not kicking right now. 96 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,982 Although we would love to see you do that again. 97 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,111 When was it kicking? What happened? 98 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:48,073 Last night. I felt it. I went into Joey's room, and he was sleeping. 99 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,867 A dreamless sleep. 100 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:55,288 My God, the baby's kicking. That's great. 101 00:06:55,540 --> 00:07:01,128 I wish I would have been there to feel the kicking for the first time. 102 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:05,090 I got some stuff going on in here if you want to feel. 103 00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:10,262 I don't want to miss any more baby stuff. Here's my pager number. 104 00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:14,015 Anytime anything pregnancy-related happens, use it. I'll be there. 105 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:17,436 I don't care if it's 3 in the morning and you want ice cream. 106 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,104 Wow. Can I get a copy of that? 107 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,945 PHOEBE: Are you under the sheet? MONICA: Yes. 108 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,239 [RELAXING MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO] 109 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,783 Great, let's begin. 110 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:42,169 - How's the pressure? - Ah. 111 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:46,256 It's nice. Wow, Phoebe, you are good. 112 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:49,301 Stating the obvious, but thank you. 113 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:53,638 - And it's not weird, is it? - No. 114 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,557 [MONICA MOANS] 115 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,852 That's right, you just enjoy. 116 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,729 [MONICA MOANS] 117 00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:03,440 Oh, yeah! 118 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:07,652 Oh, oh! 119 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:12,824 - Oh, yeah! - Okay. 120 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:16,578 Oh, God, Phoebe! 121 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:21,249 Oh, that's it! That's it, right there! Oh! 122 00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:27,172 [MONICA MOANS] 123 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:32,802 [DOOR CLOSES] 124 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:36,431 I wasn't trying to open your closet. I wasn't trying, I swear. 125 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:43,772 Wow. Monica runs a pretty tight ship here, doesn't she? What are you doing? 126 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,775 Monica has a secret closet. She won't let me see what's in it. 127 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:47,984 - Why not? - I don't know! 128 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:51,446 What could she possibly be hiding in here what I can't see? 129 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,865 I don't know. Ooh. 130 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,535 I'll bet it's Richard. 131 00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,288 Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here? 132 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,749 Well, off the top of my head, uh... 133 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:06,211 ...maybe she's having her cake and eating it too. 134 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,006 You being the "cake," Richard being the "too." 135 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:13,843 - Or... - And here we go. 136 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,054 I saw this movie once where there was a door. 137 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,722 Nobody knew what was behind it. 138 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:23,520 And when they finally got it open, millions and millions of bugs came pouring out... 139 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:27,274 ...and they feasted on human flesh! 140 00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:31,528 You know, it wouldn't kill you to respect your wife's privacy! 141 00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:39,953 Stupid closet full of bugs! 142 00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:45,750 Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I don't... Whoa! 143 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:48,753 Whoa! Don't worry. When my sisters were pregnant... 144 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,798 ...they got every weird feeling and it was always nothing. 145 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,258 - Really? JOEY: Absolutely. 146 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,720 But we'll stop by the hospital just to be sure. I'll page Ross. 147 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,513 Okay, oh, God... Ow. 148 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,641 Oh, okay, Rach, look at me. Everything's gonna be fine. 149 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,144 - Okay. - Trust me. Take my hand. Here we go. 150 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:07,105 Ow! Crushing bones! 151 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,650 Good thing we're going to a hospital. 152 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,619 - Hey. So? - She's fine. 153 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,954 She was experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions. 154 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,957 - Mild discomfort in the uterine wall. - Hmm. 155 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:31,171 Mild discomfort? I take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies? 156 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,964 - Everything is normal? DOCTOR: Yes. 157 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,550 - There's no danger to her or the baby? DOCTOR: No. 158 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,803 Contractions can be unnerving if you don't know, but she's fine. 159 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:43,975 Thank you, doctor. And thank you for being nice and calm. 160 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:48,188 Calm? I wasn't calm! I've never been more scared in my life. 161 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:53,401 - You said everything was okay. - What do I know? I'm not a doctor. 162 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:57,572 - But everything is okay. I'm fine. - You sure? 163 00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:01,618 Yes. I got half a mind to contract that doctor's uterus. 164 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,829 Mild discomfort! What's he talking about? 165 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,831 - Is everything okay? - Everything's fine. 166 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,168 Your page said, "Come to the hospital." What happened? 167 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,754 Something called Braxton Hicks contraction. 168 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,215 Ugh, oh. Ha, ha. 169 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,592 That's no big deal. Most women don't feel them. 170 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,969 Okay, no uterus, no opinion. 171 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,723 Hey, uh, what's with the candy? 172 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:27,227 When you beeped me I was at the concession stand at the movies. 173 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:31,231 - You went to the movies by yourself? - No... Mona! 174 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,318 - Oh, I gotta go back in there. - Why? What's wrong? 175 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:38,822 - Everything's fine, I just gotta... - No, really, tell me. What's up? 176 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,367 Look, I forgot my underwear. 177 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,374 So thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital. 178 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,419 Oh, hey, don't worry about it. No big deal. 179 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,838 But still, it should have been me. I'm the dad. 180 00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,299 If you have questions... 181 00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,802 ...here's information on Braxton Hicks. - Thanks. 182 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,680 And by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. 183 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:07,517 - You're gonna make a wonderful father. - Oh, uh... 184 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:13,273 Hey, not as good as this guy. He brought Twizzlers. 185 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:23,032 - There has got to be a way. - Easy there, Captain Kirk. 186 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,537 - Oh, do you have a bobby pin? - Yeah. 187 00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:31,833 Oh, no, wait. I'm not a 9-year-old girl. 188 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,252 Then why do you throw like one? 189 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:38,840 - Maybe Monica has a bobby pin. - Oh, sure, "Monica." 190 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,845 So how's the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming? 191 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:48,516 Really good. I should be ready to kill myself any day now. 192 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,894 Well, you sure found that quick. 193 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,984 I just wish I didn't feel this way about Rachel. 194 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,153 I wish things could go back to normal. 195 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:05,575 I mean, I love living with her, and helping out with the baby is amazing. 196 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,870 But now I think Ross feels left out. 197 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,748 You know? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital... 198 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,501 ...the doctor thought I was the father. God, you... 199 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,253 You should have seen the look on Ross' face. 200 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,340 By the way, I have no idea what I'm doing here. 201 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,300 For all I know, I'm locking it more. 202 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,553 Hey, you try opening it with a credit card? 203 00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,847 - That's a good idea. Okay. - Yeah. 204 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,601 - So, uh, Ross is kind of bummed, huh? - Ugh. 205 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,646 - I ju... I feel terrible. - It's not your fault. 206 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,190 What are you gonna do, not take her to the hospital? 207 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,733 You're doing nothing wrong. 208 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:42,862 Except for harboring an all-consuming love for the woman carrying his baby. 209 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:53,122 Richard, if you're in there, could you pass me my credit card? 210 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:56,709 - Hey. - Hey. 211 00:13:56,877 --> 00:14:01,506 I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good. 212 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,050 No, no, I got that. 213 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,636 So, um, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment? 214 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:07,846 Okay. 215 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:13,268 You should know though, I've, um, raised my rates to $200 an hour. 216 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,354 - Okay. - I mean 500. 217 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,399 - What? - 600. 218 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,608 What's going on? 219 00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:23,653 Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged. 220 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,947 - Wha...? - And it really freaked me out. 221 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:29,659 After a while, I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on. 222 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:34,414 What? You're crazy. There's nothing sexual about the noises I make. 223 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,207 Really? There's nothing sexual about this? 224 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,584 [MOANS] 225 00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:42,922 Oh, God! Oh, oh, oh! 226 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,507 What are you looking at? 227 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,011 I mean, hi. 228 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:53,474 This is so embarrassing. I'm never gonna get massaged again. 229 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,644 No, you can't let this stop you from getting massages. 230 00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:00,440 Look, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do. 231 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,234 - Really? - Well, not clients. Lovers. 232 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:09,782 Let's just... We'll try it again. Come back, and we'll work through it. 233 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,785 - You sure? - Yes. 234 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:17,332 - I guess. - Great! Now, if you'll just excuse me. 235 00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:20,001 So did you hear something you liked? 236 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:29,344 Hey, Ross, check it out! I learned a new trick. Huh? 237 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:32,639 - Hey, uh, I brought you some lunch. - Oh! 238 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:37,018 - That's so sweet of you. Oh, yum. - Eh. 239 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,437 Mm, mm. 240 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:44,233 - Did you put pickles on this? - Well, yeah. 241 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:45,443 [GROANING] 242 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,571 What? What? Rach, what? 243 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,783 - What's going on? - I made her favorite, tuna with pickle. 244 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,452 Pickle? Pickle makes her sick. 245 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,538 Giving her pickle is like giving me salad. 246 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,085 I'm sorry, I didn't know. You gonna be okay? 247 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:03,294 RACHEL: I'll be fine. 248 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,172 But someone make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out. 249 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,716 I'm on it! 250 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:13,680 I can't believe this. I shouldn't be the one making her throw up. 251 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:18,267 - Dude, relax. It could happen to anyone. - Not to you. You know this stuff. 252 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:21,187 I don't know any of it and I'm the father. 253 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,232 I just... I wish I could be more involved, you know? 254 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,319 Ugh. 255 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:34,951 Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna. 256 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,580 Hey, uh, can I talk to you guys for a second? 257 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,833 - Yeah. - What's up? 258 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,713 Well... Sit down. I wanna talk about our situation. 259 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,674 Are you breaking up with us? 260 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,844 The thing is... 261 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,933 ...because I live with Rachel, I'm here for a lot of the stuff. 262 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,685 Okay, and Ross... 263 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:05,314 Ross is missing everything. So... 264 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,983 Yeah? 265 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,903 Maybe you two should live together. 266 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,573 Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here? 267 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:18,745 No, I love living with you. It just seems that... 268 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:23,374 ...if you're gonna have a roommate, it may as well be the father. 269 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:26,753 But, Joey, I don't think Ross wants me to move in to his apartment... 270 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,756 ...and disrupt his life like that. I mean... 271 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,593 Or he does. 272 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:38,347 I would love to be around for you and the baby. 273 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,934 We can just try it, like on a temporary basis. 274 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,855 - But it's you and me. - It wouldn't be anything romantic. 275 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:50,234 And I'm dating Mona. Damn it, Mona! 276 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,989 I was supposed to meet her an hour ago. What is wrong with me? 277 00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:58,910 So, what do you think? 278 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,080 - I don't know. Is it crazy? - No. No, it's not... 279 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,290 Joey, this is a smart idea. 280 00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:07,960 Well, I was due. 281 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,713 - Okay, let's do it. I'll move in. - Really? 282 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,217 - Oh, Rach, that's great. That's great. - Mm. 283 00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:16,844 [LAUGHING] 284 00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,766 [BANGING ON DOOR] 285 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,644 [GRUNTS] 286 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:28,189 Not too shabby. I got this all off myself... 287 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:31,109 ...using my wife's tools. 288 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,408 Oh, my God. 289 00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:40,827 [DOOR CLOSES] 290 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:42,620 [GASPS] 291 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,622 How did you get in there? 292 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,582 [GIGGLING] 293 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,961 You're messy. 294 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:55,633 - No! You weren't supposed to see this! - I married Fred Sanford. 295 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,802 No, Chandler, you don't understand. 296 00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:02,181 [HUMMING "SANFORD AND SON" THEME SONG] 297 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:07,311 Okay, okay, fine! Now you know. Okay? I'm sick. 298 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:12,608 No, honey, you're not sick. I don't love you because you're organized. 299 00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:14,944 I love you in spite of that. 300 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,030 Really? 301 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,868 - Promise you won't tell anyone? - Yes. 302 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:26,747 Now that I know, if I've got extra stuff lying around, can we share the closet? 303 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:31,210 Oh. Well, it's just, um... 304 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:33,004 I'm afraid you might mess it up. 305 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,804 - Hey. - Hey. 306 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:46,934 So Rachel's all moved out, huh? How you taking it? 307 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,187 Well, uh, I wanted to have a few beers... 308 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:54,400 ...but, uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldn't stand the smell of them. 309 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:58,362 I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. 310 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:04,327 And, uh, it's a couple weeks past its expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick. 311 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:11,375 - Are you okay? - You kidding me? Yeah, I'm great. 312 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,879 I'm, uh... I'm better than great. I am good. 313 00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:19,508 Now that she's gone, I can, uh... 314 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:23,095 I can do all the stuff around here that I couldn't do before. You know? 315 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,181 Like, um... 316 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,391 I can walk around naked again. 317 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,061 You know? I can, uh... 318 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,731 I can watch porn in the living room. Right? 319 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,359 This is, uh... This is good for me. 320 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:40,863 I like being on my own. I'm better off this way. 321 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,367 I'm a... I'm a lone wolf. 322 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:48,537 A loner. Alone. 323 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:53,542 All alone. Forever. 324 00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:00,091 What's a wolf gotta do to get a hug around here? 325 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:07,932 [MONICA MOANS] 326 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,185 - That's it, just relax. - Unh. 327 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,062 Oh, oh! 328 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,731 - Come on, more. - Oh, God! 329 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,526 You like that, don't you? 330 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:23,281 - Yeah, right there. - Want it there? Take it there, baby. 331 00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:29,120 - Phoebe? - Yeah, say my name. Say it. 332 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,007 And now I'm going to cover you back up. 333 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:47,263 And, um, I won't be speaking with you for several weeks. 334 00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:53,853 [English - US - SDH] 26636

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