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1
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,531
Forty-year-old Gyrese,
you are not the father.
2
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,921
This nigger from New York
from the olden days...
3
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,604
bumpy son, bumpy.
4
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,651
Pose some secrets that are feeding
Shannon 's crystal meth addiction.
5
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,529
Now wait a minute, Kim.
6
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,841
Get the [beep] out of my face!
7
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,127
What's wrong with you?
What the [beep] is your--...
8
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,441
We already know what it is.
It's freestyle Friday.
9
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,010
A race war has erupted...
10
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,243
at one of the nation's oldest
and most prestigious institutions.
11
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,403
Outrage over an African-American
themed party...
12
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,882
organized by predominantly white students
of Winchester University --
13
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,123
...has resulted in rioting
and property damages.
14
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,363
Police were called to disrupt
a massive fight that broke out--
15
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,761
...between African-American
students and partygoers...
16
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:26,921
just after midnight.
17
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,731
To address diversity issues,
the school have recently--
18
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,770
...appointed African-American
scholar Dr. Walter Fairbanks...
19
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,330
as dean of students.
20
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,562
Last year the Dean's office
celebrated slight--
21
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,165
...gains in diverse applicants...
22
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,289
but with many now calling
for Fairbanks' resignation...
23
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,328
that may have been premature.
24
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,961
School officials released a statement
claiming that an investigation...
25
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,644
into those responsible for the party...
26
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,041
and subsequent riot is underway.
27
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,329
An invite to the Halloween party,
sent via social media...
28
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,801
asked guests to liberate
their inner Negro...
29
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,769
fry up chicken...
30
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,889
enjoy a cough syrup based concoction
known as purple drank--
31
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,929
Dear white people.
32
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,321
The minimum requirement
of black friends...
33
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,086
needed to not seem racist
has just been raised to two.
34
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:49,041
Sorry, bu! your weed man
Tyrone does not count.
35
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,649
Hey, Kurt, you home?
36
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,929
Hey, you've reached Garmin House,
home of Lionel Higgins
37
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,447
the only bitch 0n campus
who will give you a dickscounz'.
38
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,568
That's right, hunty,
the bigger the dick...
39
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,961
the less you have
to pay me to suck it.
40
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,044
Kurt, it's Lionel.
I'm locked out.
41
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,051
You know my parents call this line.
42
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,167
All right. Bye.
43
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,924
Dear white people...
44
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,604
apparently Morgan Freeman wasn't enough.
45
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,001
Obama could cure cancer...
46
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,641
and somewhere white folks
will be embroiled in protest.
47
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,768
And he's only half black.
48
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,169
- Ta/k to me.
- Hello there.
49
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,891
First time caller, long time listener.
50
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,485
So Sam, how would you feel...
51
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,164
if someone started
a Dear Black People?
52
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,127
No need.
53
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,000
Mass media from Fox News
to reality TV on VH1...
54
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,003
makes it clear
what white people think of us.
55
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,491
Thanks for calling.
56
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,407
I'm pissed.
57
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,201
The whole point of randomized housing...
58
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,009
is to mix shit up.
59
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,845
I'm out here trying to find the Olivier...
60
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,082
to my Halle Berry...
61
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,286
and they got me out here...
62
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:58,091
looking like an extra
0n A Different World.
63
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,926
That's not okay. At all.
64
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,810
So your YouTube show, it's called...
65
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,450
“Doing Time at an Ivy League?”
66
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,683
In my second year
of a four year sentence.
67
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,809
Armstrong-Parker,
that's your housing assignment?
68
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:17,363
Traditionally it's where
the hopelessly Afrocentric gather...
69
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,604
to process their guilt
over not going to an HBCU.
70
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,569
Where the negros be at.
71
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,569
That's not where
you wanted to be, right?
72
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,123
Bechet House is more my style.
73
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,686
The rich white kids.
74
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:32,648
Excuse me?
75
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,246
- What part of Chicago are you from?
- Hyde Park.
76
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,446
What street?
77
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,205
- Seventy-eighth and--
- Seventy-eighth!
78
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,645
That's Southside, sweetheart.
79
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,687
You know what they say.
80
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,922
You can take the girl out the hood,
but you cannot take the hood--
81
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,446
There is nothing hood about me.
82
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,761
Thank you for your time.
83
00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:01,166
So, how long will you
be on campus for casting?
84
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,891
Let me explain to you
the way reality TV works.
85
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,645
I'm the producer.
I ask the questions.
86
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,205
We'll be in touch.
87
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,443
Your hair is so cute B.T. Dubs.
88
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,887
- Well, you're so cute.
-ls it weaved?
89
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,764
I saw "Good Hair" in Afro Studies.
90
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,960
So, what house did you get?
91
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,931
- Oh, Bechet, bitch.
- Of course.
92
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,884
The mere thought ofa Fletcher
anywhere else...
93
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:38,808
Oh, easy.
94
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,041
It was the luck of the draw.
95
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,441
Daddy had nothing to do with it.
96
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,603
Besides, if I had to pick
anywhere to be...
97
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,011
it would be here.
98
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,969
Well, I'm down to switch.
99
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,203
You get your Denzel,
I get my Gosling.
100
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,725
Oh, I gots mine.
101
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,409
Do you want to meet him?
102
00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,241
Cute, for a black boy.
103
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,162
Hey, Boo!
104
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,642
I want you
to meet my friend Coco.
105
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,051
She's new to the house.
106
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,682
Hi, I'm Troy.
107
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,489
Welcome to Armstrong-Parker...
108
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,801
home of the dopest dining hall
in all of Winchester.
109
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:15,847
Are we on duty?
110
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,526
Babe, Head of House
is always on duty.
111
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,568
Well, I should get going.
112
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,529
Thanks,So£.
113
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,568
- Bye.
- Bye.
114
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,482
So, babe, you think
I got time for a quick cut?
115
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:28,846
You just got it cut last week.
116
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:29,967
It's a black thing, babe.
117
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,366
Since when is
OCD a black thang?
118
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,522
Babe, please don't say
“thang” like that.
119
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,723
Besides, you have a shift
over at the Politicos booth...
120
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,564
and then you have
a shift at Orientation...
121
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,881
and then your advisor is coming over.
122
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,088
Okay, you know what?
I'll just wear a hat.
123
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,689
And then a movie maybe?
Just us?
124
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,362
Election night.
Babe, come on.
125
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,409
All right.
126
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,244
Yo, Kurt!
127
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,207
- My man.
- All right!
128
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,405
Hey, sis.
129
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,565
Is she kidding with this?
130
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,926
You don't have to run again.
131
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,126
Just because it's her doesn't mean--
132
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,363
Babe, I can't let Sam and her
wannabe Black Panthers take the house.
133
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,011
The house needs me, who I am.
134
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,287
It's who he wants you to be.
135
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,931
So you take a couple
of psych classes and now...
136
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,650
all of a sudden,
you think you're Freud?
137
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,121
Oh, a Freud reference?
Sophisticated.
138
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:34,240
Okay. Beck, Jung, Maslow.
139
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,447
Dear white people,
this just in.
140
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,921
Dating a black person
to piss off your parents...
141
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,644
is a form of racism.
142
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,846
Yo, Troy, I forget.
143
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,810
ls your major in shucking
or was it jiving?
144
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,003
Well, my major's in Shuck.
I'm minoring in Jiving--
145
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,129
Wow, you're still majoring
in trying to fuck my leftovers, right?
146
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,120
You need a shower.
147
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,207
You're like Artie.
148
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:33,001
Dawg, your success ratio
with the ladies went up like 30%...
149
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,366
after I started edging you up, dawg.
150
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,488
Like, come on! You know?
151
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,927
You went from ODB
to Trey Songz!
152
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,761
That's his platform? Haircuts?
153
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,410
Oofta is as oofta does.
154
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,841
Yes? Someone else is running?
155
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,805
Just because we're colored...
156
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,360
don't mean we run
on colored people time.
157
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:59,002
Boycotting hot combs don't make you
an expert on colored people, Boo.
158
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,890
I care about each
and every single one of you.
159
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,284
I care about this house.
160
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,369
So if it ain't broke--
161
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,801
All right, thank you,
Troy Fairbanks.
162
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,565
ls this because of us?
163
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:22,967
Because we broke up
over a year ago.
164
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,122
You seriously think you can win?
165
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,044
Troy, we live in a world where
there's a Big Mama's House 3.
166
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:32,205
I don't think I have
a chance in hell. Thank God.
167
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,727
Troy, my brother, it's broke.
168
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,126
Mm-hm.
169
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,680
Troy is a legacy kid...
170
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,246
and yet it's under his watch...
171
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,368
that Armstrong-Parker...
172
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,841
the bastion of black culture here...
173
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:05,807
was gutted...
174
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,882
by the Randomization of Housing Act.
175
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,291
Now, second years of color...
176
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,488
no longer have a say
in where they go.
177
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,210
The culture that's been fostered...
178
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,930
in this house for two decades...
179
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,082
will be wiped out in two years.
180
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,243
This wasn't motivated
by a desire to mix things up...
181
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,722
bring about racial
and socioeconomic harmony, no.
182
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,689
The black kids are sitting together...
183
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,444
in the proverbial cafeteria...
184
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,806
so they must be up to no good.
185
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:29,847
Yeah! Mm-hm.
186
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:33,811
Over a century of houses
grouped by sports affiliations...
187
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,491
political leanings, majors, you name it.
188
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,564
Black kids get their own house
and suddenly we got a problem?
189
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,961
This doesn't affect the other houses
like it does ours.
190
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,771
There are plenty of trustees,
former coaches...
191
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,490
presidents watching out
for the others...
192
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,285
but all we have is a dean
who would rather please his massa...
193
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:51,521
Yo, that's enough of that, Sam!
194
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,965
Then stand up for his own!
195
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,122
Yes! Tell him! Yes!
196
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,964
I know y'all ain't gonna vote for me.
197
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,565
Y'all ain't ready.
198
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,087
The Black Student Union and I
have brought a petition...
199
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,441
to repeal
the Randomization of Housing Act.
200
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,683
I plan on bringing it
to the President and together...
201
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,969
we can bring black back to Winchester.
202
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,087
Yes!
203
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,930
It'll be by the door.
204
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,681
Quiet!
205
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,524
All right.
206
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,883
I assume everyone has
the app I created by now?
207
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,247
It's a child's app.
208
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,449
Good.
Voting may commence.
209
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,290
0K6)'-
210
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,805
Looks like we've got a winner.
211
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,404
Sam White?
212
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,882
Oh, shit.
213
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,166
Congratulations.
214
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,002
So that's what you're looking for?
215
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,082
I just want to make
good TV, sweetheart.
216
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,124
Well, I think I'd be good TV.
217
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,289
You're getting a great education
at a great school.
218
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,725
Why don't you
just be good at that.
219
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,290
Am.
220
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,728
And when I graduate early
with an economics degree from Winchester...
221
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,290
it'll be the crowning achievement...
222
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,681
of my black middle class
parents' ambitions.
223
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,127
Yeah, well, conflict
is a commodity in my industry.
224
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,441
Sam has that. Do you?
225
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,922
So, what?
You want me to start a fight?
226
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,209
I don't want you to do anything
you wouldn't otherwise do.
227
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,282
Hey, you reached Garmin House...
228
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,607
home of Lionel Higgins...
229
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:05,287
the only bitch 0n campus
who will give you a dickscounz'.
230
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,044
That's right, hunty,
the bigger the dick...
231
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,930
the less you have
to pay me to suck it.
232
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,444
Everything's pretty locked up...
233
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,569
but we will find a residence
to move you info.
234
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,042
Third time's a charm, right?
235
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,930
What about Armstrong-Parker?
236
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,126
I don't know if that's--
237
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,640
I might have an opening.
238
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,927
That might be good
for you to be around--
239
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,810
Dean, the worst thing about high school...
240
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,441
and believe me, it's a long list,
were the black kids.
241
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,331
Maybe it's in your head, son.
242
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,927
Sure, folks can be intolerant
around people like you.
243
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,001
And homosexuals just--
244
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,686
I--l don't believe in labels.
245
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,526
You like jazz, Lionel?
246
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,767
Winchester is like jazz.
247
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,368
-lt's a research school.
- And jazz is tension.
248
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:07,526
The interplay of improvised solos...
249
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,241
all creating one song.
250
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,766
Your problem is
you've got no instrument.
251
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:17,970
No major,
no affiliations, no solo, son.
252
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,804
I submit articles
to the Independent Observer.
253
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,848
No one reads the Independent Observer.
254
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,685
My point is are you playing
swing or bebop?
255
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,046
You're mixing your metaphors.
256
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,009
Are you a sax
or are you a trumpet?
257
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,491
I don't like jazz.
258
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,851
Look, I'll do what I can.
259
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,402
But not a word of this
in the Observer, okay?
260
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,811
No one reads it, right?
261
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,084
Lionel, right?
262
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,527
George. We had Civ last semester.
How's it going?
263
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,080
Oh, yeah. Great,
I mean, good, yeah.
264
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,764
Fan of your stuff
in the Observer.
265
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,081
No one reads the Observer.
266
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,128
Have you seen this?
267
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,124
The residents of Armstrong-Parker
just made her head of house.
268
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,646
Am I crazy or is there
a there there?
269
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,049
What made you come over here? I mean...
270
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,122
it's not like I didn't--
I'm glad you came, Ijust--
271
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,322
My staff.
God bless them.
272
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,721
They are whiter
than Michael Jackson's kids.
273
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,165
I mean, we're fucked
if any one of them...
274
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,163
tries to write this story
and I won't let the transfers...
275
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,162
at the Gazette do it first.
276
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,446
Well, this one has his face.
277
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,287
You're in the Black Student Union.
You probably know Sam.
278
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,566
You come up with a good angle...
279
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:10,801
I want it in the Bugle.
280
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,008
- Trumpet.
- Bugle. Focus.
281
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,366
The only paper on campus...
282
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,442
with an advisor
with The New York Times .
283
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,410
Only so many ways a person
can distinguish themselves...
284
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:20,845
at a place like this, Lionel.
285
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,643
You're good.
You belong with us.
286
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:41,960
Did you get it?
287
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,485
Good.
288
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,767
You've now got
the shared calendar...
289
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,008
contacts, and official email.
290
00:17:54,560 --> 00:18:01,887
And before I forget.
291
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,611
- Event requests for the year?
- Just this month.
292
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,762
They all need your approval.
293
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,922
And don't forget
to pick your office hours.
294
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,684
You need at least 20 per week.
295
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,683
That's absurd.
296
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,521
Well, you're now head
of a hundred residents.
297
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,524
And they all need time
to complain to your face about...
298
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,886
noise, leaky pipes...
299
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,042
gluten-free option
in the cafeteria, etc.
300
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,886
Troy, I didn't think
I was gonna win.
301
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,282
Look, I'm late for lunch.
302
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,647
By the way,
petitioning the President...
303
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,524
on the Randomization
of Housing Act...
304
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,489
ain't gonna do shit.
305
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,608
None of the other houses
are concerned.
306
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,081
Because they all have a legacy
of rich and powerful allies...
307
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,731
who will make sure that “random”
works to their advantage.
308
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,849
Ana' you really think a petition
is going to change that?
309
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,481
Hello?
310
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,448
Yeah.
311
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,727
Okay, well, just call me
the minute there's an update.
312
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,164
The Armstrong-Parker dining hall...
313
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,969
is the epicenter of black culture...
314
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,804
as it stands at Winchester.
315
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,008
Only here can you
commiserate, celebrate...
316
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,321
and discuss everything
from Kan ye Wesz' lyrics...
317
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:40,291
to theoretical relativism
all in a sitting...
318
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,126
not to mention find someone
who can actually do your hair.
319
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,371
You still using your ID?
320
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,204
I always forget passwords.
321
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,611
You are begging to get hacked.
322
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,603
Good thing the one evil techno-genius...
323
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,330
thinking like that is on my side.
324
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,970
We was robbed.
325
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,610
That election was suspect, man.
326
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,166
There is this one other sister
in my Relativity class...
327
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,969
and I'll be damned if our professor...
328
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,202
doesn't call me Loretta
every goddamn time.
329
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,009
We all look the same.
330
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,811
Programming professor gets me
and Martin here mixed up constantly.
331
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,006
You should be so lucky.
332
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,686
Cute. You get that at Toys "R" Us?
333
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,125
The talented tenth always...
334
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,010
has to bust its ass
a little bit harder...
335
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,605
but I don't see
what the point is...
336
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,489
in blaming white folks for everything.
337
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,005
Who's blaming, Blue Eyes?
338
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,286
I really don't see the issue.
339
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,443
Never had one.
Never ran into any lynch mobs.
340
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,841
Lynch mob's still here.
Just re-branded itself.
341
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,764
- As what, pray tell?
- The Republican Party.
342
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,524
You want to know
how the world sees you?
343
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,648
You go to a Young
Republican 's meeting...
344
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,131
and bring up welfare.
345
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,646
- Or Immigration.
- Or gay rights.
346
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,407
Bullshit.
347
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,486
You have something to add?
348
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,483
Me? Yeah, I do.
349
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,206
Look, your biggest athletes, right?
350
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,566
Movies stars--
351
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,883
Hell, guys, my president is black.
352
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,962
Okay, sometimes I think
the hardest thing to be...
353
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,361
in the American work force right now...
354
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,727
is an educated white guy.
355
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,251
You're not serious?
356
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,607
Hey look, you guys
still got affirmative action...
357
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,648
that's all I'm saying.
358
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,530
I'm sorry,
what exactly are you doing here?
359
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,649
All right, check this out.
You ready? Obama, right?
360
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,961
Leader of the free world.
361
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,283
He gets into Harvard based on-- You!
362
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,840
Too late.
Affirmative action.
363
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,049
You know who's not president
right now? No?
364
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:28,009
The guy who didn't get in.
365
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,607
Well, on behalf
of all the colored folks in the room...
366
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,921
let me apologize to all
the better qualified white students...
367
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,331
whose place we're taking up.
368
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,129
No, it's fine.
We're okay.
369
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,407
I'm sorry, did you get lost?
370
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,686
Bechet is that way.
371
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,445
Oh, I know where it is.
I'm actually supposed to eat there.
372
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,490
Yeah, it's just there's--this is
the only dining hall that you can actually...
373
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,881
get yourself
some chicken and waffles.
374
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,404
Look, you're
Dear White People, right?
375
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,731
It's funny.
376
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,165
It's funny stuff, it really is.
377
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,129
How have we
not staffed you yet?
378
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,043
Oh, me? Oh what?
379
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,805
On Pastiche,
your uninspired humor magazine?
380
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,360
It's actually much more
than just a magazine, sweetheart.
381
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,807
SNL staff is basically
half Lampoon, half Pasflche.
382
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,644
Same goes for the network comedies.
383
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,609
And what gives you clubhouse kids...
384
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,286
the right to come to our dining hall?
385
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,361
You don't live here.
386
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:17,242
Sam, what are you doing?
387
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:18,967
So you can't eat here.
388
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,804
Chill, Sam. Damn, all right?
Let the man--
389
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,245
- Got this.
- Got this.
390
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,764
Look, who are you
to throw me out?
391
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:29,050
Oh! Well, I think
I'm head of this house.
392
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,685
And I'm doing things my way.
393
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:33,766
Your way.
394
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:40,605
Excuse me.
395
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,442
Serious question.
Do you know who I am?
396
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,249
Yeah, I know your dad
is the president.
397
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:51,889
Good.
398
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,644
He's the same one
that has been pushing...
399
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,131
to break up this house
for a decade.
400
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,965
What's wrong? ls he afraid
that letting the negros gather in groups...
401
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,805
might start a little rebellion
on his plantation?
402
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:05,329
Oh, well, then you tell him
from me, that he should be.
403
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,570
Yeah. Bad move.
404
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,770
Let's go.
405
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,249
Excuse me. Sorry.
406
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,248
Excuse us.
407
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,207
Uhhh--
408
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,884
You, too.
409
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:30,801
Me?
410
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,281
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Do you live here?
411
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,369
She the man.
She the man.
412
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,287
Dear white people, stop dancing.
413
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,286
The fuck?
414
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,960
Yeah, well, conflict
is a commodity in my industry.
415
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,088
Sam has that. Do you?
416
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,367
Welcome, muffins.
417
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,124
So, I hate to do it to you...
418
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,044
but I'm gonna have to get
real black with you for a second.
419
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:03,681
So the other day, a girl
had the nerve to fix her mouth...
420
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,491
and ask me
if my hair was weaved.
421
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,086
Weaved?
Really, bitch?
422
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,924
First of all, if you're
going to fix your mouth...
423
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,604
to ask me something like that...
424
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,445
say it right, please.
It's weave.
425
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,251
Noun. Present tense.
426
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,004
Second of all, don't assume...
427
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,963
just because you see
a sister with some hair...
428
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,367
that it's a weave. ls it?
429
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,171
If a bitch could grow straight Indian hair
directly out of her own head...
430
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,686
she wouldn't have just overdrafted
her account paying for this shit...
431
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,410
but that ain't your business, Boo-Boo.
432
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,244
Are those your lips, sweetie?
433
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,209
Is that really your skin?
434
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,770
These white girls and their tans...
435
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,764
they're starting
to get darker than me...
436
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,207
which isn't that dark.
437
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,402
Dear white people,
what do I think about it?
438
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,725
Okay. Anyone have any comments...
439
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,644
for Sanfs Rebirth of a Nation'?
440
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,049
- Could I?
- Gabe, go ahead.
441
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:12,602
L dig the silent movie thing,
but it's a little self-congratulatory.
442
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,045
Light on story...
443
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,521
and frankly thematically dubious.
444
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:17,965
Anyone else?
445
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,006
Sam?
446
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,411
Before you say anything...
447
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,289
might I remind you
that I sat through...
448
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:26,964
A Birth ofa Nation,
Gone with the Wind...
449
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,162
and Tarantino week without protest.
450
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,163
Yeah, and might I also
remind you that I read...
451
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,289
your entire 15 page,
unsolicited treatise...
452
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,964
on why the Gremlins
is actually about...
453
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,849
suburban white fear
of black culture.
454
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,003
The gremlins are loud, talk in slang,
are addicted to fried chicken...
455
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,684
and freak out
when you get their hair wet.
456
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,525
The only problem that I have
with your film is that it was late.
457
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,449
The silent projects were last semester.
458
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,131
You were supposed to e-mail me
your sound treatment over the summer.
459
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,441
I have radio, BSU...
460
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:53,760
now this Head of House thing.
461
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,046
Okay, do you want this?
462
00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:59,125
Look, this thing
might as well be my right hand.
463
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:00,247
I was busy this summer.
464
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,322
Your peers are out getting internships,
making short films.
465
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,324
My dad was sick.
466
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,640
I had to go home.
467
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,165
If you need time, take it.
468
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:09,765
But if you want
to be here next semester--
469
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,081
- I do.
-Pu// if together!
470
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:13,525
This is Winchester.
471
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,443
Thematically dubious.
472
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,282
Well, what was that supposed
to be about exactly?
473
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,408
You're thematically dubious!
474
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,448
Since when do TA's give critiques?
475
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,807
You invoke minstrelsy
for shock value, to what end?
476
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,087
To invoke the same feeling
I get when I turn on the TV...
477
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,209
and see some so-called reality star
shuck and jive for ratings...
478
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,521
egged on by no doubt white producers.
479
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,931
Or the sassy black secretary...
480
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,207
who has no backstory
or character development...
481
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,361
aside from her skin color.
482
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:53,487
So it's a tit for tat?
483
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,847
Are you honestly saying
that art can't be reactionary?
484
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,008
You're reacting to something
that's 100 years old.
485
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,401
Because fear of black men
involved in U.S. government...
486
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,244
is a completely antiquated concept.
487
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,924
No social relevance today.
488
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,684
I think that sometimes
you should hold...
489
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,000
a mirror up to your audience...
490
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,367
rather than dropping
an ideological piano on their head.
491
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,046
I just think that works
that deal with the African Diaspora...
492
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,168
through a post-modern lens
are outright rejected...
493
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:15,730
unless handled by a white artist.
494
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,531
- African Diaspora?
-Yeah, I said it.
495
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,524
I'm sorry, but blackface
is alive and well in our culture.
496
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,250
Who primarily buys hip hop...
497
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,129
watches Housewives of Atlanta ?
498
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:29,131
The same homogenized images
of black people over and over again?
499
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,361
White people, Gabe.
500
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,124
Who goes to see
Tyler Perry movies?
501
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:33,440
We're an underfed community.
502
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,488
None of this changes
the fact that the vibrancy...
503
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,166
the complexity
of black culture has been distilled...
504
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,163
into commodities and marketing schemes
to be bought and sold.
505
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,208
To the detriment
of the so called “real thing.” Got it.
506
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,841
It means that I am indistinguishable
from the so called “urban” images...
507
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,651
of black folks used to amuse
and market to white America.
508
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,122
And the commodification of culture
is uniquely oppressive to black people?
509
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,123
So when Kanye raps about Louis V...
510
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,850
and Rolexes and Classical art...
511
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,922
exactly what exploited pockets
of Black America...
512
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,411
are those references being mined from?
513
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:00,447
From--
514
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,811
On your knees.
515
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,082
What?
516
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:38,561
You dream in “Cosby” again?
517
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:45,410
My hair was so straight.
My sweater so big.
518
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:46,891
I told you about that?
519
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,406
Hey so, this whole
Head of House thing. Congrats?
520
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:36,884
Yeah, it's, it's--
521
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,689
Weird, right?
522
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,569
I never took you
as a student politician.
523
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,321
Yeah, well--
524
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,285
Sam?
525
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,729
What are we doing?
526
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,529
Fucking.
527
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,608
Dear white people...
528
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,728
please stop touching my hair.
529
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,963
Does this look like a petting zoo to you?
530
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,884
Kurt, it's 3:00.
531
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,008
I know it's already 3:00.
532
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,925
Yo, can I hit that bottle?
533
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,404
Y.O.L.O. my nigga!
534
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:50,731
We don't even have a staff yet.
535
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,131
I don't understand--
536
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:53,321
Why are we even planning this?
537
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,845
Everybody wants to be on our staff.
538
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:55,921
That's the easy part.
539
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,567
Look, we're doing
staff picks at game night.
540
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,642
RSVPs are already
through the roof on that anyway.
541
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:02,688
Halloween is our premiere party.
542
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,366
The waitlist is already 100 deep.
543
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,488
Guys, we gotta do something huge...
544
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,403
to outdo this summer.
545
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,209
We can always do
East-West hip hop party.
546
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,725
Get the honeys up on this piece.
547
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,290
“Honeys.” You're from Vermont.
548
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,806
Guys, whaVs the Pastiche motto'?
549
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,167
“Sharpen thy sword.”
550
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,924
You mean to tell me...
551
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,128
our motto is a euphemism
for jerking off?
552
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,687
No. It's a reminder
that satire is the weapon of reason.
553
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,526
So who on campus
is being most unreasonable?
554
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,409
You know what it's
a reminder to me of?
555
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,323
How gay Gordon is.
556
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,209
- Was that a reasonable attempt...
- What do you want?
557
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,601
-at a quip, Mitch?
-Could you say reasonable one more time?
558
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,967
- It makes you sound good.
-Guys, shut up.
559
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,405
Knowing Lil' Wayne lyrics...
560
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,881
no longer earns you
an honorary black card.
561
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,566
It just reminds me of how often
you say the word “nigga”...
562
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,489
when no one black is around...
563
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,131
as is required
in reciting said lyrics.
564
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,690
Look at that.
565
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,844
God, who does Sam think she is?
566
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,809
Seriously, dude, it's like...
567
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,850
Spike Lee and Oprah had
some sort of pissed off baby.
568
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,803
Hey.
569
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:18,211
Oooh.
570
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,601
- Uh-huh.
- Can we? Could we?
571
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,170
How?
572
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:23,526
Ea5Y-
573
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,961
Hi, Lionel.
What do you want?
574
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:32,090
Lionel, I spoke
with the dean today.
575
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,128
We had a very
enlightening con versation.
576
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,202
And I just wanted to let you know...
577
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:37,964
I'm sorry about the voice message.
578
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,363
DO You accept?
DO you?
579
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:44,327
Please put that away.
580
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,404
Sometimes you just got to talk
to these people in a language...
581
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,488
that they're going to understand.
582
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,086
- Pathetic.
- What was that?
583
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,727
All right.
584
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,451
Wherever they ship you off to...
585
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,808
be sure to pack
a sense of humor, all right?
586
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,167
The Tip Test.
587
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,323
You hit up Jelly's for a snack.
588
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,882
Your waitress mistakes you
for someone who looks like you, black...
589
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,089
who once ran up a $30 bill
and left a dollar tip.
590
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,050
You watch all the other
customers order before you do--
591
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:40,850
Pastrami sandwich on rye.
592
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:45,005
And then proceed to wait no less
than 40 minutes for your food.
593
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:50,966
How do you tip?
594
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:51,848
A-
595
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,361
40 minutes?
She's lucky if she gets 40 cents.
596
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,091
Okay, you do a good job,
maybe see a tip.
597
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:58,002
B-
598
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,488
She was tripping, but--
599
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,289
15% is the least I can do.
600
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:04,805
Or C.
601
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,486
I reject the stereotype
that African-Americans do not tip.
602
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,082
I will leave 20-- no, 25,
just to prove that I can.
603
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,767
One hundred. Oofta. Nose job.
604
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,051
Dear white people...
605
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,764
In a shocking reversal...
606
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,889
using the term "African-American"
is borderline racist now.
607
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,606
It turns out if you're too worried
about political correctness...
608
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,409
to say "black", odds are...
609
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:38,404
you secretly just want
to call us niggers anyway...
610
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:42,326
and truth be told, I'd rather
you just be honest about it.
611
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:43,970
Free speech, my ass.
612
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,407
Oh, Stalin quotes for 200, please?
613
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,891
Oh, you're joking about this?
614
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,246
Oh, I'm sorry.
615
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,288
Was I supposed to take
"Free speech, my ass"...
616
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,044
as a legitimate suggestion?
617
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,009
This is your office's issue, Walter.
618
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,811
Especially after that episode
with Kurt in the dining hall.
619
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,531
Oh, all race issues are my issues.
620
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,682
This is a student issue...
621
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,922
and you are the Dean of Students,
aren't you?
622
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,729
The last thing we need...
623
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,768
is race war in the papers
across this country.
624
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,691
How do you think the donor base
will feel about that?
625
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,081
The fundraiser is four weeks away.
626
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,811
How bad is this deficit of yours?
627
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,604
It's worse.
628
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,523
And I want to make something really clear.
629
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,331
If this gets any bigger at all,
it's on you, Walter.
630
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,847
- Racism is over in America.
- What?
631
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,729
The only people
who are thinking about it are...
632
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,484
I don't know...
Mexicans, probably.
633
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,044
Come on in, son.
I was just leaving.
634
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,561
President Fletcher.
635
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,608
- You call me Herb, son.
- All right.
636
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,161
Fletcher tells me his son
got his ass handed to him.
637
00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:50,162
About time.
638
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:51,965
No, Sam was out of line.
639
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:53,722
Kurt is all right.
640
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,247
Well, but you're supposed
to be better than all right.
641
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,969
Since when do we start
losing elections, Troy?
642
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,044
Well, Dad, the Housing Act
passing without a fight didn't help.
643
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,724
And what did I tell you about excuses?
644
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,011
Pops, my course load
is full anyway.
645
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,765
I'm head of Econ. Board...
646
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,922
plus, I'm uh--
647
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,928
I'm thinking about joining Pasfiche.
648
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:20,531
Pasfiche.
649
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,250
Yeah, you know,
to help round out the rest.
650
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,046
On Kurt Fletcher's staff.
651
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,202
I'll be goddamned if after 20 years...
652
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,567
you're working for that dumbass's son.
653
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:31,766
Yes, sir.
654
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,241
Fletcher and I
graduated one year apart.
655
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,649
He barely made it through.
656
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,766
I graduated summa cum laude.
657
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,968
Now who is president
and who is dean?
658
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,246
What's the difference?
659
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,403
Oh, a few hundred thousand dollars
a year, for starters.
660
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,164
Understand what I'm saying?
661
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,163
What happened between you and Sam
that she's coming after you now?
662
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,243
Sophia.
663
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,970
I mean, you do remember
Sophia, don't you...
664
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,769
daughter of the president,
Psych. major...
665
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:01,966
"Has the whole world
ahead of her, Troy"?
666
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,884
- Watch your tone.
- Sorry, sir.
667
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,811
So you lost the house.
668
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,445
Onto the school presidency.
669
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,249
It would be good to show
that the campus...
670
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,847
is capable of electing
someone like you...
671
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,121
as school president.
672
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,171
Someone like me.
673
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:26,083
Someone like you.
674
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,648
Hey, Babe, hat or no hat?
675
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,205
Are you wearing that?
676
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,251
I don't have to be.
677
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,123
Hey, Boo.
678
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,567
How about we put...
679
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,087
some of your newfound
free time to good use, hm?
680
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,889
It's been a while since we--
681
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,883
What is with all this "BOO" Stuff?
682
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,644
Since you fucked me
with your big, black cock.
683
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,646
It used to turn you on
when I talked like that.
684
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,609
Is it me?
685
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,444
Sweetheart, I love you.
686
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:26,165
-/s if Sam?
-Can we please just get ready?
687
00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,811
Why? I hate my brother's friends.
688
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,769
So you're not going with me.
689
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:32,001
You'd go without me?
690
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,481
But... you're my guest.
691
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,210
I mean, you could
just hang out here and I'll--
692
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,248
What is it
with you and my brother?
693
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:39,606
Are you in love with him?
694
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,048
ls this some, like, DL shit?
695
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:44,326
DL shit?
696
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,729
Wait, Sophia, hold on. Just stay.
697
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,171
- No, I'm not going.
- All right, I'll go with you.
698
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,527
- N0.
-l'll- I'll go with you.
699
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,090
SOphia?
700
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,808
Oh, my God.
He did not.
701
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,405
- Oh, he did.
- You are so crazy.
702
00:40:58,480 --> 00:40:59,367
Oh, yeah.
703
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,931
I could do better.
704
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,606
Shh, wait, wait. Quiet. Wait, wait.
I want to watch this.
705
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,604
Ifa bitch could grow straight Indian hair
directly out of her own head...
706
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,887
she wouldn't have just overdrafted
her account paying for this shit...
707
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,450
but that ain't your business, Boo-Boo.
708
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,205
Oh, my God.
lam so sharing this.
709
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,725
Send me the link.
710
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:21,881
I totally will.
711
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:28,768
Who was that?
712
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,360
New staffer, maybe.
713
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,961
Don't worry. The negro at the door
is not here to rape you.
714
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,249
So this is what editors do?
715
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:39,651
We're taking a break.
716
00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:41,404
What are you doing here?
717
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,007
You said you want me to drop in
and tell you how the story was going.
718
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,686
Like next week.
719
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,525
It's Saturday night.
You don't have anywhere else to be?
720
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,887
Well, it was either this
or the new Madea movie.
721
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,645
Oh, dear God.
Where does she go this time?
722
00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:56,607
Dialysis?
723
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,969
Man, fuck Tyler Perry.
724
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,526
Yes, can we have a movie
with, you know, characters in them...
725
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,080
instead of stereotypes
wrapped in Christian dogma?
726
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,447
Why is every educated person
inherently evil?
727
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,603
Why is this nigga in a motherfucking dress
all the motherfucking time?
728
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,921
How come the only black movies
Hollywood wants to make...
729
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,764
are ones with black Mamies in fat suits?
730
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:17,126
Or black women in pain, man?
731
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,328
So basically, we got
black people dying in the past...
732
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:20,845
and black people dying in the present.
733
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,201
Most people are here
to see Fang 9.
734
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:28,521
It's got 2 Chainz in it.
735
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,409
Oh!
736
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,322
Would you stop stereotyping yourself
and put that down?
737
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,084
This ain't Friday, man.
738
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,969
Okay, whatever.
Yo, Sam...
739
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:40,010
We gotta-- we gotta talk
about this protest, girl.
740
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:44,130
When are we taking the housing fight
to the president?
741
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,362
House folded
on sponsoring the rally.
742
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:47,726
What do we need a sponsor for?
743
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,451
Demonstrations that aren't sponsored
by a house can get shut down.
744
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,126
What about the house
that you're head of?
745
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,680
Hey,Sam,
I read Ebony and Ivy .
746
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:59,003
What's with the "oofta"
and "nose job" and "100" stuff?
747
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:00,889
You want me
to break it down for you?
748
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,041
Yeah.
749
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,128
You want to know
an ideal Friday in my world?
750
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,249
A fifth of whiskey
and my T-Bone Walker records.
751
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:08,924
Real talk.
752
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,405
Yo, I'm sorry.
753
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,244
Who the fuck is T-Bone Walker?
754
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,164
Only the most influential pioneer...
755
00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:18,562
of electric and jump blues, bro.
Know your roots, player.
756
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,281
There are only a few ways colored folks
can survive at a place like this.
757
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,045
White folks always be on stuff,
like, decades too late...
758
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,407
and then y'all want to try to act
like you discovered some shit.
759
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,370
An "oofta" is a jazz-age term...
760
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,087
for Bojangle types
who blacked it up for white audiences.
761
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,162
Rock, jazz, blues.
762
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:37,651
Nigga, what you got on right now?
763
00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:39,848
Some PE.
Public Enemy, my nig--
764
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,287
No'. Mm-mm.
765
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:43,009
Watch that, man.
766
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:44,206
Hey, you just called him.
767
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:47,170
Look, y'all get country clubs.
768
00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:48,685
We get to say "nigger".
769
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:54,601
An oofta modulates his blackness
up or down depending on the crowd...
770
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,011
and what he wants from them.
771
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,128
What about golf, man?
772
00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:59,565
Or all of our girls?
773
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:00,971
What do you mean, all your girls?
774
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,520
Well, there's O.J.
There's Wesley Snipes.
775
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,250
There's Tiger Woods.
776
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,049
- Troy over here.
- Exactly.
777
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,726
No, there's a word for that. Okay?
778
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,121
"Reparation."
779
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,043
Forty white bitches and a mule.
780
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,525
You know, I think Troy would be great
for the talk show...
781
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:18,647
don't you think, Kurt?
782
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:23,880
I fold.
783
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,921
Okay, and a nose job
is a wannabe?
784
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,206
Sort of.
785
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,203
- Have you seen this?
- No.
786
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,248
Dear white people
using Instagram.
787
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,324
You have an iPhone
and you go on hikes.
788
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,846
I get it.
789
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,049
Nose jobs smooth their black edges
and try to blend in.
790
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,326
What's up, Mama?
791
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,528
Mm, don't talk like that.
792
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,005
Don't I know you
from somewhere?
793
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,366
Hey, where do I know you from?
794
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,568
She was in the video.
795
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:56,211
- Oh, yeah, video girl.
- Check it out.
796
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,203
I hate to do it to you,
but I'm going to have to get...
797
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,123
real black with you for a second.
798
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:03,010
A nose job's worst fear
is that their blackness...
799
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:06,004
might cause a fuss
or draw undue attention...
800
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,048
so they use it to self-deprecate.
801
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:09,605
These white girls and their tans...
802
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,489
they're starting to get darker than me...
803
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,289
which isn't that dark.
804
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:18,086
Hmm, 40,000 views already.
805
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,561
Looks like somebody
submitted you on Buzzfeed.
806
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,449
You're blowing up.
807
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,251
Hey, you want me to get you
a refill or something?
808
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,561
Let me guess.
809
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:29,889
You're from Ohio.
810
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,088
No, I'm actually from Vermont.
811
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,083
But the west side.
812
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,322
So what's your beef
with Dear White People ?
813
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,045
Dear White People,
how do I feel about it?
814
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,407
It's blacker-than-thou propaganda...
815
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:48,087
from a bougie Lisa Bonet wannabe
who smells like patchouli.
816
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,851
But frankly, I can't belie ve
we're letting Sam get away with it.
817
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,365
That's awesome.
818
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:53,726
Seriously.
819
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:54,847
That's good.
That's nice.
820
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:55,762
And 100?
821
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,808
Just keeping it 100.
822
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:59,928
Just being black as hell, just 'cause.
823
00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:03,563
What about just being yourself?
824
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:04,687
Like I said.
825
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,800
- You don't mind, do you?
- Of course not.
826
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,360
There are only a few ways
colored folks can survive...
827
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:12,487
at a place like this.
828
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:13,647
All right, so then what?
829
00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,290
So then Sam says...
830
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,089
"Is Daddy scared that the negroes...
831
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,049
are going to start a rebellion
on the plantation?"
832
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:22,283
- To Kurt Fletcher.
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
833
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,129
Okay, we've got a news item.
834
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,567
But there's something bigger here.
835
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:28,961
It's a profile piece...
836
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,566
on Armstrong-Parker
and Sam White's pseudo revolution.
837
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:32,880
What's the headline?
838
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,964
An outdated nationalist
seeks purpose, starts race war?
839
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:39,849
Beer is in the corner.
840
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,450
We'll bang out
the news item tonight...
841
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,522
and we'll work on
the profile piece next week.
842
00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:53,562
Yo, man.
843
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,842
Now you know
I wasn't talking about Soph...
844
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,968
with that whole 40 bitches thing, man.
845
00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,485
- I was just, you know--
- Just what?
846
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,642
Just trying to get on my staff?
847
00:48:01,720 --> 00:48:04,485
- I mean, I haven't really thought--
- Come on, bullshit.
848
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:07,370
Look, game night is when
we make our bids for the new staff, okay?
849
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,646
That's why this guy is here...
850
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:11,087
and why everybody's here.
851
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,202
I just think having good hair...
852
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:16,409
and carrying on
with a degree of sophistication...
853
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,164
doesn't make me a traitor to the race.
854
00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:20,129
Absolutely.
855
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:22,009
You want to know why they
used to call me Black Mitch?
856
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,048
- Absolutely.
- Nobody called you that.
857
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:25,645
Come on, what were you
doing back there?
858
00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:27,324
You're-you're practically sitting there.
859
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,164
You're about like to bust out
some kind of tap dance.
860
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:31,208
Come on, man.
I'm a Poli-Sci major, bro.
861
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,169
- I just came to hang out.
- It doesn't matter.
862
00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:37,131
Either way. Look, either way
my staff, they like you.
863
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,884
A lot.
864
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:42,961
But you don't.
865
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,321
Look, this thing with you and Soph--
866
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:49,208
I'm good to her.
867
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,526
It doesn't matter.
868
00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:54,049
Our dads have been playing
this chess match...
869
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,891
off and on since 1972.
870
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,644
What and Sophie is the white queen?
871
00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:01,041
You're a pawn, Troy.
872
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:04,603
And maybe it's time
you got off the board.
873
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,011
Here's the deal.
Every year we throw a party.
874
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,606
Right? The whole point is to mock...
875
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:17,122
the self-important and moronic entities
of the campus.
876
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,329
Now, one way to get staffed...
877
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,402
is to write an invite for the party.
878
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:25,444
Our invites, they're-
they're freaking legendary.
879
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,000
You know, every year we make the Gawker.
We make the Post.
880
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:29,241
Tons of blogs.
881
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:30,600
The important thing is...
882
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:34,287
is if your invite is the one
that is picked to be sent out...
883
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:38,160
then you're guaranteed
a spot on our staff.
884
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:40,607
Okay.
885
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,205
So what is this year's theme?
886
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,408
It's--
887
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:45,970
I don't know.
888
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:47,485
Your party is, like, two weeks away.
889
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:48,209
Yeah, I know.
890
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,726
Kurt, I want you to meet someone.
891
00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:53,526
You know Coco?
892
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,489
You guys got a party coming up?
893
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,444
Got to rally, Sam.
Time is now.
894
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:04,482
Reggie, use your head.
895
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,881
Do you really think that a rally
is going to change things?
896
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:10,009
It will do a hell of a lot more
than a radio show with views on YouTube.
897
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:11,809
Oh, okay.
898
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,726
Look... We got power.
899
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,201
Okay? And it's time we use it.
900
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:19,441
We earned it.
901
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:20,646
We? Oh, that's funny...
902
00:50:20,720 --> 00:50:23,326
'cause I didn't see you
running for shit, Reggie.
903
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:30,245
Sam.
904
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,206
- Really?
-Tired.
905
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,009
Don't one word me.
906
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,284
Did we go too far?
907
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,727
Did we pass Armstrong-Parker?
908
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:02,725
No, I'm Garmin.
909
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:04,848
Fancy.
910
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,809
Why do you always got to...
911
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,882
snap at me all the time?
912
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,287
I'm around you 24/7
like a lapdog...
913
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,125
and I don't even really be messing
with no redbone chicks like that.
914
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:15,087
Don't call me that.
915
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,003
Girl, I thought you was
Puerto Rican when I met you.
916
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:17,888
Oh, okay.
917
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,530
Oh, you can dish it,
but you can't take it?
918
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,125
No, I'm taking my ass home.
919
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,762
George...
920
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:29,849
I'm not really down with Sam...
921
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,445
and I'm not in the BSU.
922
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:33,648
I got kicked out of Armstrong-Parker...
923
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,165
same as Kurt.
924
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:40,243
But I'm going to write a good article.
925
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:41,401
Okay?
926
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:43,521
Come on, Sam.
927
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,967
You know how I feel about you.
928
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,321
How am I supposed to know
how you feel about me?
929
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:49,970
You know what?
930
00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:53,004
Forgive me if I see something in you...
931
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,128
something inspiring.
932
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:01,003
Some folks like me can get behind.
933
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,008
Tell me you'll set up the rally.
934
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,489
I'll set up the rally.
935
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,161
- Absolutely.
- Righz'? I think so.
936
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,203
I think--
I think it's bold.
937
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,408
I think it's ironic.
938
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,050
I think it's
everything we need...
939
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,844
and don't tell me I'm the only one...
940
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:11,651
that thinks Sam White's little movement
needs to be cut down to size.
941
00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:13,245
- Righf, right?
-Yep.
942
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,607
Beautiful. Mitch?
943
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:17,409
You got your hip-hop party, man.
944
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,801
Bolly, bolly.
945
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,041
I'm telling you, man.
946
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,485
This is going to be huge.
947
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:24,847
Fucking epic.
948
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,490
If you'll excuse us...
949
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:28,289
we will be in touch.
950
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:29,930
Troy...
951
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,604
get off the board, man.
952
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:38,685
It was nice seeing you again.
953
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:41,205
Where's Sophia?
954
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:45,049
I have no idea.
955
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,603
Can't wait to see what story
you come up with.
956
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:52,285
Night, Lionel.
957
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:04,048
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
958
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:05,964
Party is not over.
959
00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:09,087
It's two o'clock in the morning.
960
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:11,128
Sorry, bro.
961
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,645
Invitation only.
962
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,530
Trouble in paradise?
963
00:54:48,240 --> 00:54:50,004
Figures.
964
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,285
Nothing.
965
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,284
I'm sure you have something else...
966
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:02,922
fair and petite and fair...
967
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,650
lined up for that drink.
968
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,489
And what's that supposed to mean?
969
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:17,967
Oh, no, really, it's fine.
970
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,520
I'm not even really
into black dudes anyway.
971
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,445
Coco, huh?
972
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,761
Colandrea doesn't exactly...
973
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,127
pass the resume test, you know?
974
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,044
Can you fucking die?
975
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:39,964
I mean, my parents really
should have just named me...
976
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,886
Ghetto-ass Hood rat-ass Aneisha.
977
00:55:56,000 --> 00:56:00,688
Do you indulge?
978
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,489
You know, it is 10 A.M.
979
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,090
I don't mess with that stuff.
980
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,881
You sure you don't like black guys?
981
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,288
Girl like me is just a placeholder...
982
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,886
for y'all at a place like this.
983
00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:18,765
I'm not like that.
984
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,683
I don't think Sam would agree.
985
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:22,967
Poor thing.
986
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:25,691
She was light-skinned and everything.
987
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,126
Hell, I said it wasn't like that.
988
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:34,610
All right?
989
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:37,650
My Pops, he wanted me
with Fletcher's daughter.
990
00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:41,486
Those two have been in competition
with each other ever since they went here.
991
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,450
He's not going to like you running
with those Pastiche boys, is he?
992
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,251
If I even get tapped.
993
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:48,810
You will.
994
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:51,440
You should do it.
995
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,124
They all land somewhere big...
996
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,521
some before they even graduate.
997
00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:59,880
I've seen you in front
ofa crowd, Troy.
998
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,361
I bet you could be famous.
999
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:04,084
So is that what you want?
1000
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:07,445
To be famous?
1001
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,369
I want people...
1002
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,408
to know my name.
1003
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:19,528
Which one?
1004
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:33,321
"We want you.
1005
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,643
"Come by Ellington
tomorrow at eight."
1006
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:41,444
Anything?
1007
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,240
Thanks.
1008
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,484
You're going to have to stand up
to him sooner or later.
1009
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:11,284
You said you loved me.
1010
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:16,683
I like you a lot.
1011
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,129
What do you do...
1012
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:28,044
when you go in the bathroom?
1013
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,282
Or is it just to get
away from me?
1014
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,368
I smoke weed.
1015
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,681
And I write jokes.
1016
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,526
- What the hell are you doing here?
- This is my apartment.
1017
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,369
Like hell it is.
1018
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:45,685
Dean said this was the only opening.
1019
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:47,205
Well, head of house doesn't share.
1020
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,362
But you're not head of house.
1021
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,884
Yo, come on, guys.
Are you serious?
1022
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,851
All right, all right,
I think they've had enough.
1023
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:44,765
Hello.
1024
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,171
Finally made it in.
1025
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:47,651
You moved around a lot, right?
1026
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:49,245
You must have been terrified...
1027
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,721
when you saw Armstrong-Parker
written on your moving assignment.
1028
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:53,245
I was just finishing up.
1029
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:56,529
- Do black people scare you?
- No.
1030
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,443
You're too scared
to even ask anyone for a cut.
1031
01:00:58,520 --> 01:00:59,726
I'm growing it out.
1032
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:01,365
He's growing it out.
1033
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,125
You're fostering an ecosystem.
1034
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:06,362
My man, how come
you never come to BSU?
1035
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,887
I listen to Mumford & Sons
and watch Robert Altman movies.
1036
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:11,644
You really think
I'm black enough for the Union?
1037
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:14,769
Yeah, I love Robert Altman.
1038
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:16,251
Fucker goes in.
1039
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:17,651
All right.
1040
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:20,326
We're not all homophobes,
you know, black folks.
1041
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,084
I'm listening
to Frank Ocean right now.
1042
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:23,321
I don't give a fuck.
1043
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:25,323
I'm-I'm late for class.
1044
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:28,370
Look, you're the new black voice
of the Bugle.
1045
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,568
We're just trying to figure out
if you're a friend or a foe.
1046
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,408
We got to protect our girl.
1047
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:36,924
I'm not even on staff.
1048
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,445
I mean, I have to make good
on my assignment.
1049
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:40,488
Assignment, what's the story?
1050
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,291
It's a profile piece
on black culture here at Winchester.
1051
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:45,328
Which you are so clearly an expert on.
1052
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,851
Tell me, man. What's harder?
Being black enough for the black kids...
1053
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:50,251
or black enough for the white ones?
1054
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,170
Being neither.
1055
01:01:58,520 --> 01:01:59,760
Really, Sam?
1056
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:40,406
Running late...
1057
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:43,366
for your little rally?
1058
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:47,447
Forget your sign?
1059
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,524
You honestly think this is in the spirit
of Armstrong-Parker house?
1060
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,524
The role of counterculture
is to wake up the mainstream.
1061
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:55,284
I have furniture older than you.
1062
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:57,010
Counterculture?
1063
01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:59,082
Is that what you think this is?
1064
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,367
- Your little show?
- What about my show?
1065
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,807
Your show is racist.
1066
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,405
Black people can't be racist.
1067
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,051
Prejudiced, yes, but not racist.
1068
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:11,090
Racism describes a system
of disadvantage based on race.
1069
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:12,446
Black people can't be racist...
1070
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:15,205
since we don't stand
to benefit from such a system.
1071
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:17,408
Your antics are making press, Sam.
1072
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:21,047
And press like this keeps men
like President Fletcher up at night.
1073
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:22,724
Warm milk?
1074
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,564
He's building a file on you.
1075
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:27,689
Okay, it's not my fault that your son
couldn't beat me in an election.
1076
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,842
I'm sure it was tough growing up...
1077
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,922
wondering which side you fit into.
1078
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,810
Feeling like you have
to overcompensate, perhaps.
1079
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:42,282
If that's true, Dean...
1080
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,646
I'm not the only one.
1081
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:58,649
Hey, hey, hey, brother.
1082
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:00,529
There you are.
1083
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:03,370
That one over there.
1084
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:04,726
And that one over there.
1085
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:08,569
There you are.
1086
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:09,926
Thought we were supposed
to start at 12, right?
1087
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:11,570
Yeah, I told you I had class.
1088
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:13,290
This is going up on Gillespie.
1089
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,169
It's good, right?
1090
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,722
Oh, what's this?
1091
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:21,564
Yo, you ain't getting cold feet.
1092
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:24,803
No, but...
how long do I have to talk?
1093
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,161
You're kidding me, right?
1094
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:28,685
It's sort of the keynote.
1095
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:33,486
Look, Reggie, I think that the whole
Malcolm X thing is more your lane.
1096
01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:34,368
I'm just not--
1097
01:04:34,440 --> 01:04:36,488
These people came here
to see you, Sam.
1098
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:39,251
Grab a bullhorn, turn it on.
1099
01:04:55,160 --> 01:04:57,970
Hi. No, I'm kind of in the middle--
1100
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:03,440
Qkay- - -
1101
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:10,967
Okay.
1102
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:21,001
Okay.
1103
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:32,886
I got to--
1104
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:35,562
You ready?
1105
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:46,611
Sam.
1106
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,089
Sam!
1107
01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:53,128
Sam, you have our protest permits!
1108
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:54,440
Sam.
1109
01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:58,043
Sam.
1110
01:05:58,120 --> 01:05:59,770
Do you want me to tell him to go?
1111
01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:03,208
- You're so tough.
- I will.
1112
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:04,964
No, I want you to wait until they've gone...
1113
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:06,565
and then I want you to head home.
1114
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:08,130
I'm trying to be here for you.
1115
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:09,884
Can you be somewhere else for me?
1116
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,167
Sam, we know you're home.
We just want to talk.
1117
01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:13,884
What do you see in him?
1118
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,720
The only eligible
single brother on campus.
1119
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:22,762
Okay, okay.
1120
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:24,922
No, I get it. Your parents
owned in Harlem, or something, right?
1121
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:26,724
You watched
D0 The Right Thing in high school...
1122
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:28,723
and now you just want
to prove that you're down.
1123
01:06:28,800 --> 01:06:29,528
I want to be down?
1124
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:31,125
How long does it take
to get your hair like that?
1125
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:33,487
Yo, Sam, open the door.
1126
01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:36,291
I will call you tomorrow, Reggie!
1127
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:37,850
Damn.
1128
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:39,285
You don't understand.
Girls like me--
1129
01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:41,124
What, have to pick a side?
1130
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,123
I'm sick of your tragic mulatto
bullshit, Sam.
1131
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:44,440
You can't say "mulatto."
1132
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:45,766
Mulatto, mulatto, mulatto!
1133
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,080
Did somebody say "mulatto"?
1134
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:48,764
Window. Go out the window.
1135
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:50,490
I'm sorry if I can't be
your Nubian prince...
1136
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:52,403
on my black horse ready to take you
back to fucking Zumunda.
1137
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:53,970
That's not a real African country.
1138
01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:57,123
Can I at least get a little credit for a solid
Coming to America reference?
1139
01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:01,205
This isn't you, Sam.
1140
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:03,521
No? And who am I?
1141
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,967
You're this... girl.
1142
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:08,451
Perceptive.
1143
01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:11,251
Who likes to argue with me
about every fucking thing.
1144
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:13,846
And I hate it, because we both know
you're smarter than me.
1145
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,127
Your favorite director is Bergman...
1146
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,282
but you tell people it's Spike Lee.
1147
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,761
You love bebop, bu! you've
got a thing for Taylor Swift.
1148
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:22,808
I know, because my Mac
picks up your Mac's library.
1149
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:23,642
I was so careful.
1150
01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:26,326
You like to watch me
when you think I'm sleeping...
1151
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,129
and trace the outlines of my face.
1152
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:29,645
We're ready to go, man!
1153
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:31,609
You're more Banksy than Barack...
1154
01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:35,088
but you've been co-opted as some sort
of revolutionary leader or something?
1155
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:36,571
ButreaHy?
1156
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:38,290
You're an anarchist...
1157
01:07:38,360 --> 01:07:41,523
shit starter, a beautiful filmmaker.
1158
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:43,409
And beautiful...
1159
01:07:43,480 --> 01:07:44,561
in general.
1160
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:57,011
Yeah.
1161
01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:58,605
Yeah?
1162
01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:01,966
Yeah?
1163
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,125
Okay, get some sleep.
1164
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:11,570
Everything all right?
1165
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:16,763
His condition is stable.
1166
01:08:18,480 --> 01:08:20,881
Good.
1167
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,962
That's good, Sam.
1168
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:25,765
Open the door!
1169
01:08:27,440 --> 01:08:28,726
Sam!
1170
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:30,723
Gabe...
1171
01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:32,370
What?
1172
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:40,090
Sorry.
1173
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,927
Your video is picking up steam.
1174
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:57,729
I told you I was good TV.
1175
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,729
Yeah, the show I'm scouting for...
1176
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:03,325
is called Black Face, White Place .
1177
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:05,243
It's a reality, like true life.
1178
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:07,607
Every episode focuses
on a different one of us...
1179
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:08,920
and the ceiling.
1180
01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:10,451
Interesting.
1181
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:13,126
Interesting?
1182
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:15,168
You think they want
interesting, dignified stories...
1183
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,527
of triumph and survival? No.
1184
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,046
They want the authentic
urban experience...
1185
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:21,645
which is basically network talk...
1186
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,524
for bitching and weeping.
1187
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,446
I'm telling you this
because the network wants...
1188
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,727
to pick a certain subject
to go to series.
1189
01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:34,202
We've got one episode,
one shot at that subject...
1190
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:37,011
-so if we do this--
- We do it all the way.
1191
01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:40,920
Guessing Sam turned you down?
1192
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:42,570
I think so. She called me...
1193
01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:45,246
a bojangling oofta, whatever that means.
1194
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:47,402
40,000 views, that's good...
1195
01:09:47,480 --> 01:09:48,720
but it's not great.
1196
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:51,167
Well, I'm about to get a whole lot more.
1197
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:54,005
Look, we don't have anybody...
1198
01:09:54,080 --> 01:09:56,560
like you and you had
a great idea, so we--
1199
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:59,086
I want to emcee it.
1200
01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:00,002
Your party.
1201
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:04,051
Okay. Okay, well--
1202
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:05,963
Look, we're here to talk to you
about what we want.
1203
01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:07,405
You want me.
1204
01:10:07,480 --> 01:10:09,164
And in order to get me...
1205
01:10:09,240 --> 01:10:11,129
you have to let me emcee your party.
1206
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:14,044
Oh, and I'd also like to do
a live video blog...
1207
01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:15,121
for my web series.
1208
01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:16,531
Are they going
to let you do that?
1209
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:18,329
They've got to.
1210
01:10:18,440 --> 01:10:19,566
They need me.
1211
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:20,926
Without me...
1212
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:24,004
you guys look like a bunch
of privileged assholes.
1213
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:26,560
Right, well, we don't--
we don't really let people...
1214
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:28,529
"video blog" our-our events.
1215
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,602
Well...
1216
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,650
you got a week to put
this thing together, Boo-Boo.
1217
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:37,969
So what's it going to be?
1218
01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:39,485
You look surprised.
1219
01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:45,964
It's just not everyone
is as camera ready as you are.
1220
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:48,520
Gez' your game 0n
for only $3. 99 a month.
1221
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:51,929
The important thing is...
1222
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:54,002
if your invite is the
one that is picked...
1223
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:56,845
to be sent out, then you are guaranteed
a spot on our staff.
1224
01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:01,201
...for a low, low price.
1225
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,489
The sci-ff marathon
continues right now.
1226
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,122
Just over nine minutes to go
in this quarter.
1227
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:19,043
They need to score on this drive.
1228
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:22,611
Looking for the blitz, but he--
1229
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:40,206
Troy, come on in.
1230
01:11:40,840 --> 01:11:43,650
Martin, share with Troy
what you've just shared with me.
1231
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:49,002
The server that processes
the voting results for house elections...
1232
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,048
has shut down
the AP database.
1233
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:52,844
Apparently, the intermediary program...
1234
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:54,649
is on a refractile loop.
1235
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:57,326
I'm a Poli-Sci major, man.
1236
01:11:57,400 --> 01:12:00,609
Sam currently has 445 votes.
1237
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:05,129
That's 200 more than she had
last week during the actual election.
1238
01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:06,486
She cheated.
1239
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,130
She hacked the system.
1240
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:10,885
I wouldn't even know how
to do a thing like that.
1241
01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:14,089
Is this little war of yours
really so important?
1242
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:17,209
Look, I understand the pressure to stand
for something in an institution like this...
1243
01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:19,931
but you're barking up
the wrong tree. Okay?
1244
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,604
It had to have been Reggie.
1245
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,284
Guy's in my programming class.
1246
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:27,086
Good, just forgot
to turn his program off.
1247
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:29,401
Wow.
1248
01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:31,403
You are the rightful head of house.
1249
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:35,444
So great.
1250
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:38,603
Martin, let me speak
to Troy for a bit.
1251
01:12:38,680 --> 01:12:41,445
I appreciate this.
1252
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:44,410
Your advisor tells me that you're
hanging on by a thread in your major.
1253
01:12:44,480 --> 01:12:48,883
Maybe it's time for you to reprioritize.
1254
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:51,167
You're trying to frighten me...
1255
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:54,369
but I think you're the one who is scared.
1256
01:12:54,440 --> 01:12:57,649
And I think that you long for days...
1257
01:12:57,720 --> 01:13:00,769
when blacks were hanging from trees
and denied actual rights.
1258
01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:04,686
That way you would have something
to actually fight against.
1259
01:13:04,760 --> 01:13:06,762
You'll be facing two hearings
in the coming weeks...
1260
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:09,127
that could end in either
a suspension or probation.
1261
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:12,124
One on the merit of your show...
1262
01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:16,211
the other on your election
to head of house.
1263
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:18,886
Your responsibilities
to your house are suspended.
1264
01:13:18,960 --> 01:13:20,689
Your show is dead.
1265
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:24,003
And if there is another one
of your illegal demonstrations...
1266
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:26,401
it's going to get a lot worse.
1267
01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:28,289
This is a critical time for this school.
1268
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:31,330
You're damn right it is.
1269
01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:33,562
We don't have
an intolerance problem here.
1270
01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:36,809
Except for the one I'm looking at.
1271
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:44,004
You didn't tell me that you and Sophia
had a misunderstanding.
1272
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:46,807
Who did?
1273
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:49,167
Her father.
1274
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:50,446
She was very upset.
1275
01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:56,090
What vision do you have
for yourself, Troy?
1276
01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:57,611
Get my degree...
1277
01:13:57,680 --> 01:13:58,886
then law school, then--
1278
01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:00,291
And what has that got to do...
1279
01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:01,771
with partying with Kurt...
1280
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:04,161
smoking weed, and writing jokes?
1281
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:05,526
So okay, what is it?
1282
01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:08,524
The spotlight that Kurt gets?
1283
01:14:08,600 --> 01:14:10,250
You want to see yourself on TV?
1284
01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:12,800
You know how many black men
waste their lives...
1285
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:15,451
trying to be on TV,
be rappers or ballplayers?
1286
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:18,490
Dad, no.
I want what we always talk about.
1287
01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:20,483
Maybe have
my own firm someday...
1288
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:21,726
run for office.
1289
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:23,928
Make a difference.
1290
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:26,321
What about the drugs?
1291
01:14:26,440 --> 01:14:28,681
I have been in academia a long time.
1292
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,285
I've seen a lot of things.
1293
01:14:32,080 --> 01:14:34,242
And the men who really run this world...
1294
01:14:34,320 --> 01:14:36,209
oh...
1295
01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:40,001
you've got no idea what they see
when they see you.
1296
01:14:40,120 --> 01:14:43,647
You are not going to be
what they all think you are.
1297
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:46,849
You are not going to give them
that satisfaction.
1298
01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:50,123
Do you hear me?
1299
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:51,326
Yes, sir.
1300
01:14:55,640 --> 01:14:57,404
Get out of my sight.
1301
01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:19,965
President's office.
1302
01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:21,565
I'll be right there.
1303
01:15:35,160 --> 01:15:36,491
I know about the party.
1304
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:38,085
What party?
1305
01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:40,049
Yeah, cute.
1306
01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:42,407
Let me tell you something.
You picked a hell of a time.
1307
01:15:42,480 --> 01:15:44,881
- It's the Halloween party.
-I want you to listen to something.
1308
01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:47,122
It's canceled, Kurt.
End of story.
1309
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:49,202
I can't cancel.
There's like 100 people coming.
1310
01:15:50,440 --> 01:15:51,726
Hey.
1311
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:59,046
Lionel's story on the would be protest...
1312
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:01,168
outside Gillespie is running tomorrow.
1313
01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:03,402
Yeah, and I've also got Lionel
working on a profile piece...
1314
01:16:03,480 --> 01:16:05,448
of Armstrong-Parker,
like you suggested.
1315
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:07,409
Really break down what's going on.
1316
01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:10,730
Right?
1317
01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:13,041
It's almost like they...
1318
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,043
recycle so much from their past.
1319
01:16:15,120 --> 01:16:17,600
Music, food, fashion...
1320
01:16:17,680 --> 01:16:21,082
and now turbulence.
1321
01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:23,049
Thank you so much.
1322
01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:25,282
Take care.
1323
01:16:25,360 --> 01:16:28,011
- Well?
- That was our Times advisor.
1324
01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:29,605
He said it's stories like these...
1325
01:16:29,680 --> 01:16:31,921
that get editors
letters of recommendation.
1326
01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:36,689
Negro at the door
didn't scare you this time?
1327
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:38,046
Lionel, please.
1328
01:16:38,120 --> 01:16:39,963
You're only technically black.
1329
01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:43,044
G? Going to French.
1330
01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:46,607
- Should I save you a seat?
- Yeah, thanks.
1331
01:16:48,640 --> 01:16:50,722
You need something?
I saw your email.
1332
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,165
Oh, yeah.
1333
01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:56,131
I need someone to do
the donors event on Saturday.
1334
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,043
A small dinner
for the school's big givers.
1335
01:16:58,120 --> 01:17:00,009
That's Halloween night.
1336
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:03,163
Right, which is why
no one else will take it.
1337
01:17:03,240 --> 01:17:05,846
Ah, thus the new guy.
1338
01:17:05,920 --> 01:17:07,684
I'm going to class, but...
1339
01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:10,047
you can stay and check out
last year's piece if you want.
1340
01:17:10,120 --> 01:17:12,487
- You'll do fine.
- I don't know.
1341
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:15,166
Is there going to be any
racially fueled outbursts at this thing?
1342
01:17:15,240 --> 01:17:16,526
You never know, right?
1343
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:24,689
Hey, am I a good writer?
1344
01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:28,929
You'll get better.
1345
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:30,365
And we need you right now.
1346
01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:34,684
Please, you're just
one big recommendation...
1347
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:35,966
away from the Times.
1348
01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:37,485
Hey...
1349
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:57,970
There's a big party
after the donors event.
1350
01:17:58,040 --> 01:18:01,362
Call me after.
Maybe we can hang?
1351
01:18:01,440 --> 01:18:03,522
Yeah, yeah, sounds good.
1352
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,248
Dear white people...
1353
01:18:22,320 --> 01:18:24,448
Are you tired 0f your humdrum
Wonder Bread existence...
1354
01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:27,285
of accidental racism,
and wishing you could sip...
1355
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:29,328
on henny out your crunk cup...
1356
01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:31,323
without a bitch
giving you the side eye?
1357
01:18:31,400 --> 01:18:33,562
Of course you are.
1358
01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:36,564
For all those looking
to unleash their inner negro...
1359
01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:38,927
from years of bondage
and oppression...
1360
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:41,128
Pastiche proudly presents...
1361
01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:42,725
Dear White People...
1362
01:18:42,800 --> 01:18:45,770
our 89th annual Hallows Eve
costume party...
1363
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:47,330
tonight at 10 Pacific time...
1364
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:50,210
or five colored people time.
1365
01:18:50,280 --> 01:18:53,124
Dudes must rock Fubu, Ecko...
1366
01:18:53,200 --> 01:18:55,202
Rocawear, or Sean John.
1367
01:18:55,280 --> 01:18:57,567
XXXL is
the smallest sized T-shirt...
1368
01:18:57,640 --> 01:18:58,607
YOU can WGGT...
1369
01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:01,047
preferably with a collage
of Barack Obama...
1370
01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:02,326
and Tupac on it.
1371
01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:06,041
Ladies, we need to see
huge hoop earrings...
1372
01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:08,805
long nails,
and cheap, tight clothes.
1373
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:11,326
Proper hood rat starts fights,
speaks loudly...
1374
01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:13,846
and when she can't think
of the words she's trying to say...
1375
01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:17,208
just makes one up,
such as "edjmucated."
1376
01:19:17,280 --> 01:19:19,965
Now feel free
to fry on up some chicken...
1377
01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:21,883
bring some Kool-Aid, watermelon...
1378
01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:24,850
forties, and of course,
that purple drank.
1379
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:27,321
Naturally, there will be
a freestyle rap competition...
1380
01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:32,167
so bring it and join us
for the party of the year.
1381
01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:34,163
Oh, and uh...
1382
01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:37,130
Nigga, nigga, nigga, "i993
nigga, nigga.
1383
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,043
Boy, that felt good.
1384
01:20:08,280 --> 01:20:09,884
Funny seeing you here.
1385
01:20:13,040 --> 01:20:15,805
Pops likes to show me off
at all these donor functions.
1386
01:20:20,080 --> 01:20:21,525
So...
1387
01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:24,286
Picard or Kirk?
1388
01:20:24,360 --> 01:20:25,600
Kirk. Wait.
1389
01:20:25,680 --> 01:20:26,681
- I didn't say--
- Yo.
1390
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:29,280
What happens at the crib
stays at the crib.
1391
01:20:29,360 --> 01:20:31,328
I'm not trying to get
my card revoked.
1392
01:20:31,400 --> 01:20:33,289
Someone could say
that a show that had...
1393
01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:37,570
Whoopi Goldberg, Michael Dorn,
and Kunta Kinte himself...
1394
01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:39,290
was a pretty black show.
1395
01:20:39,360 --> 01:20:43,160
- That work out for you?
- No, no, it did not.
1396
01:20:43,240 --> 01:20:44,924
At least not in high school.
1397
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:49,411
Bet there's, like, a statue of you
in your high school.
1398
01:20:49,480 --> 01:20:52,006
I was beloved.
1399
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:54,651
They know you were a Trekker?
1400
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:01,686
So what, you growing that out?
1401
01:21:03,360 --> 01:21:05,044
I think it's
gaining sentience.
1402
01:21:06,640 --> 01:21:08,210
Yeah, it's out there.
1403
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:10,806
Yeah, it's like a black hole
for white people's fingers.
1404
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:14,123
They're...obsessed.
1405
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:16,931
I mean, you know I cut hair, though.
1406
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:18,445
So why don't you just ask me?
1407
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:23,482
I don't know. You're... you.
1408
01:21:23,560 --> 01:21:26,166
Ly, you ready, man?
1409
01:21:26,240 --> 01:21:28,641
Yeah. No costumes?
1410
01:21:28,720 --> 01:21:30,609
I got a suit for this.
1411
01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:32,045
We just got out
of the staff room.
1412
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:34,043
Yeah, we're going as overworked.
1413
01:21:34,120 --> 01:21:37,602
- Where is it?
- Garmin House, on Third, I think.
1414
01:21:38,680 --> 01:21:40,250
Third and Basin.
1415
01:21:42,080 --> 01:21:43,002
I know it.
1416
01:21:45,720 --> 01:21:47,404
Yo, man.
1417
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:51,570
If I'd have gone
to your high school...
1418
01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:52,801
I'd have had your back.
1419
01:22:49,080 --> 01:22:51,367
This is kind of fucked up, right?
1420
01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:54,444
Pasfiche, the world's
most erudite boneheads.
1421
01:22:54,520 --> 01:22:55,760
I need another drink.
1422
01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:02,166
Hey.
1423
01:23:12,360 --> 01:23:13,930
Sorry.
1424
01:23:15,920 --> 01:23:18,082
It's all right.
I just can't wait to cut all of this off.
1425
01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:19,082
Don't you dare.
1426
01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:26,524
I could eat you like a Hershey's.
1427
01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,969
I'll-- I'll be right back.
1428
01:23:35,360 --> 01:23:36,566
Okay.
1429
01:24:02,920 --> 01:24:04,046
Sam.
1430
01:24:05,480 --> 01:24:06,811
I hope to run for office someday.
1431
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:08,484
Make a difference, you know?
1432
01:24:08,560 --> 01:24:10,369
If you guys will excuse me for one moment.
1433
01:24:10,480 --> 01:24:11,925
I promise I'll be right back.
1434
01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:13,161
Hold that thought.
1435
01:24:26,880 --> 01:24:28,245
So what do you want me to do?
1436
01:24:28,320 --> 01:24:29,560
Go over and yell at them?
1437
01:24:29,640 --> 01:24:31,051
Have you heard you yelling?
1438
01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:35,886
For the first time in my life,
I can't just sit around...
1439
01:24:35,960 --> 01:24:37,246
and do nothing.
1440
01:24:37,320 --> 01:24:39,891
So... how can you?
1441
01:24:39,960 --> 01:24:42,247
I'm done being everybody's
angry black chick.
1442
01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:18,725
Hey, muffins.
1443
01:25:18,840 --> 01:25:21,320
So how do I look?
1444
01:25:21,400 --> 01:25:22,811
Tell me...
1445
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:25,486
why are white folks
so obsessed with being black?
1446
01:25:27,880 --> 01:25:32,329
Hell, why are black folks addicted
to blonde Barbie doll weaves?
1447
01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:35,483
The strange symbiosis
that we're here to investigate.
1448
01:25:50,280 --> 01:25:52,248
Hi.
1449
01:25:52,320 --> 01:25:54,527
How's it going?
1450
01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:55,681
All right.
1451
01:25:55,760 --> 01:25:57,046
This is-
1452
01:25:57,120 --> 01:25:59,168
- Black Student Union.
- Black Student Union, yeah.
1453
01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:01,971
- Yeah.
-'Cause it's 7:30.
1454
01:26:02,040 --> 01:26:04,964
It's your call, man.
1455
01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:07,930
All right, all right...
1456
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:10,685
All right, y'all.
Thanks for coming out.
1457
01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:14,321
Tonight, looks like Sam
is not going to make it...
1458
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:16,687
so let's call it.
1459
01:26:27,280 --> 01:26:28,930
Um, hi.
1460
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:32,368
I'm Lionel.
1461
01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:35,523
I know some of you.
1462
01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:37,011
None of you know me.
1463
01:26:37,080 --> 01:26:39,765
I've never been to a meeting.
I plan on coming.
1464
01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:47,689
I just came from this party...
1465
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:49,649
and I feel like you guys
should know about it.
1466
01:26:59,960 --> 01:27:01,564
Hey, Kurt.
What's up, man?
1467
01:27:01,640 --> 01:27:03,130
- How you doing?
- What the fuck is going on?
1468
01:27:03,200 --> 01:27:04,725
All these people
just showed up, man.
1469
01:27:10,120 --> 01:27:11,724
Wait, who am I?
1470
01:27:11,800 --> 01:27:16,408
"Bitch, it's weave, noun,
present tense, how."
1471
01:27:16,480 --> 01:27:18,130
Okay, point taken.
1472
01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:29,248
- Hey, man, you want a drink?
- Shut up.
1473
01:27:29,320 --> 01:27:33,962
- Yeah.
- Kurt, it's me.
1474
01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:34,962
I can't do this.
1475
01:27:35,040 --> 01:27:37,725
Okay, I'm fucking confused.
1476
01:27:37,800 --> 01:27:40,929
- Dad.
- Not now, Troy.
1477
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:42,365
But Dad, it's important.
1478
01:27:42,440 --> 01:27:44,204
I heard there's something
happening on campus...
1479
01:27:44,320 --> 01:27:46,129
and I might have been a part
0f setting it off.
1480
01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:48,009
Son, you're being rude.
1481
01:27:49,560 --> 01:27:50,846
Oh, am I?
1482
01:27:50,920 --> 01:27:53,002
Well, how about I tell
all your precious donors...
1483
01:27:53,120 --> 01:27:54,246
and anybody who will listen
1484
01:27:54,320 --> 01:27:56,084
what kind of school it is
they're giving to!
1485
01:27:56,160 --> 01:27:57,764
What is wrong with you?
1486
01:27:57,840 --> 01:27:59,205
How dare you?
1487
01:27:59,280 --> 01:28:01,408
You can't come over here
and talk to your father--
1488
01:28:01,480 --> 01:28:03,130
All I say is "Yes, sir"
and "No, sir."
1489
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:05,168
Now look, I should have
brought this to you earlier...
1490
01:28:05,240 --> 01:28:06,571
but I didn't know what to do.
1491
01:28:06,640 --> 01:28:08,802
- Okay, let's wait.
- Listen to me!
1492
01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:11,521
Done right, brother.
1493
01:28:11,640 --> 01:28:14,246
What's the plan?
1494
01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:16,243
We go over there.
1495
01:28:16,320 --> 01:28:17,890
Now.
1496
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:19,724
Think there's enough of us?
1497
01:28:19,800 --> 01:28:22,041
Latinos United
is meeting across the hall.
1498
01:28:22,120 --> 01:28:23,565
Asian-American League, too.
1499
01:28:25,880 --> 01:28:28,008
You guys got better snacks.
1500
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:50,165
Wait, what?
1501
01:28:50,240 --> 01:28:52,811
Yeah, dude, we all got it.
1502
01:28:52,880 --> 01:28:54,928
I mean, everything is cool, right?
1503
01:29:03,320 --> 01:29:04,810
Take that shit off!
1504
01:29:04,880 --> 01:29:07,167
Take that fucking shit off.
1505
01:29:10,640 --> 01:29:13,564
Wait, what the fuck
are you doing, man?
1506
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:15,847
Jesus!
1507
01:29:15,920 --> 01:29:17,922
We're putting an end to this, Kurt.
1508
01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:20,480
You know what?
Everybody get the fuck out of my house.
1509
01:29:20,560 --> 01:29:22,767
Okay? I'm calling the cops.
1510
01:29:50,520 --> 01:29:52,170
Let's make it do what it do!
1511
01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:56,800
One, two, one, two, three.
1512
01:29:56,880 --> 01:29:59,326
Yo, give me your wife
before I slap ya.
1513
01:29:59,400 --> 01:30:00,970
I've been looking for some dames...
1514
01:30:01,080 --> 01:30:02,764
but there's not another chapter.
1515
01:30:02,840 --> 01:30:05,002
You can do me slow,
you can do me fast.
1516
01:30:05,080 --> 01:30:07,606
You can add it to my league.
I'm the royalty to ask for.
1517
01:30:07,680 --> 01:30:10,570
One, two, wa-wa-wa-one.
1518
01:30:12,320 --> 01:30:14,004
I say hey!
1519
01:30:14,080 --> 01:30:15,411
Hey!
1520
01:30:15,480 --> 01:30:17,562
"Ho!
"Ho!
1521
01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:19,091
My name is Lionel.
1522
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,366
Some call me Ly.
1523
01:30:20,440 --> 01:30:22,727
Most people think
I kind of talk quiet.
1524
01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:25,167
But that's all right,
that's all cool.
1525
01:30:25,240 --> 01:30:28,084
I'd rather be white
than tap dance with you.
1526
01:30:46,080 --> 01:30:47,684
Get the fuck out of my house.
1527
01:30:47,760 --> 01:30:49,569
- What you doing?
- Get the fuck out of here!
1528
01:31:15,040 --> 01:31:16,326
What?
1529
01:31:17,400 --> 01:31:18,811
Say it.
1530
01:31:18,880 --> 01:31:19,927
Come on.
1531
01:31:21,640 --> 01:31:24,291
You know, this may come
as a shock to you...
1532
01:31:24,360 --> 01:31:27,842
but these people don't give a fuck
about no Harriet motherfucking Tubman.
1533
01:31:27,960 --> 01:31:29,724
They pay millions of dollars...
1534
01:31:29,800 --> 01:31:31,689
on their lips, their tans...
1535
01:31:31,760 --> 01:31:34,206
their asses, Jay-Z tickets...
1536
01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:36,282
because they want to be like us.
1537
01:31:36,360 --> 01:31:39,489
And they got to be for a night.
1538
01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:41,324
I'm not about to go out
into the streets...
1539
01:31:41,400 --> 01:31:44,210
and protest a fucking Halloween party.
1540
01:32:01,360 --> 01:32:02,885
He can't help it.
1541
01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:05,850
But why do you have
to be such a fag?
1542
01:32:32,680 --> 01:32:34,921
Looks like you got me
right where you want me, huh?
1543
01:34:02,000 --> 01:34:03,729
Hey...
1544
01:34:06,760 --> 01:34:10,003
I didn't do this, Sam.
I didn't do this.
1545
01:34:10,120 --> 01:34:12,407
Outrage over an African-American
themed party...
1546
01:34:12,480 --> 01:34:14,767
has resulted in rioting
and property damages.
1547
01:34:14,840 --> 01:34:17,764
Naturally, a dozen
colored folks crashing a party..
1548
01:34:17,880 --> 01:34:20,042
was dubbed a riot, but nevertheless...
1549
01:34:20,120 --> 01:34:21,645
the story made national news.
1550
01:34:21,720 --> 01:34:23,370
I'm sorry.
1551
01:34:23,440 --> 01:34:26,091
We don't condone
this egregious event, believe me.
1552
01:34:26,160 --> 01:34:28,322
Dean Fairbanks and I are looking
into different ways...
1553
01:34:28,400 --> 01:34:30,482
to address issues of diversity--
1554
01:34:30,600 --> 01:34:34,286
- Housing reform!
-Yeah!
1555
01:34:34,360 --> 01:34:36,169
Housing reform.
1556
01:34:36,240 --> 01:34:37,969
I mean, the fact that
we can joke about this...
1557
01:34:38,040 --> 01:34:39,769
proves we moved on,
obviously, right?
1558
01:34:39,840 --> 01:34:42,127
I mean, in this day and age,
if you can't take a joke--
1559
01:34:42,200 --> 01:34:45,966
Shit, I'm just saying this is
an attack on my freedom of speech.
1560
01:34:46,040 --> 01:34:47,166
I'm the victim here!
1561
01:34:47,240 --> 01:34:49,481
The campus was divided.
1562
01:34:49,560 --> 01:34:52,609
Was the party an act of free speech,
or was it racism?
1563
01:34:52,680 --> 01:34:55,570
I mean, this is only a debate
because of who Kurt's dad is...
1564
01:34:55,640 --> 01:34:58,166
which just proves the point.
1565
01:34:58,240 --> 01:35:00,971
I mean, all you did was have a radio
show and look whaz' happened to you.
1566
01:35:01,040 --> 01:35:02,883
This may come
as a shock to you...
1567
01:35:02,960 --> 01:35:04,405
but these people don't give a fuck...
1568
01:35:04,480 --> 01:35:07,211
about no Harriet motherfucking Tubman.
1569
01:35:07,280 --> 01:35:09,362
They want to be like us.
1570
01:35:09,440 --> 01:35:11,329
And they got to be for a night.
1571
01:35:11,400 --> 01:35:13,004
Of course I got my dad involved.
1572
01:35:13,080 --> 01:35:14,969
It was the right thing to do.
1573
01:35:15,040 --> 01:35:17,805
And now all of these posters
just started showing up.
1574
01:35:17,880 --> 01:35:19,848
I mean, why settle
for head of house...
1575
01:35:19,920 --> 01:35:22,366
when there 's a need for me
as president, you know?
1576
01:35:22,440 --> 01:35:24,204
Dear white people...
1577
01:35:29,640 --> 01:35:31,005
You know what?
1578
01:35:33,520 --> 01:35:35,170
Never mind.
1579
01:36:00,560 --> 01:36:02,289
When I heard
what the group was planning...
1580
01:36:02,400 --> 01:36:04,402
I emailed my staff
and I told them to quit.
1581
01:36:04,480 --> 01:36:06,562
That is a copy of the email
in front of you.
1582
01:36:06,640 --> 01:36:07,641
And who's this?
1583
01:36:10,040 --> 01:36:10,962
My lawyer.
1584
01:36:12,120 --> 01:36:15,920
So when I got the invite
and saw everyone clicking yes...
1585
01:36:16,040 --> 01:36:17,530
I figured it was back on.
1586
01:36:17,600 --> 01:36:18,647
We know you were planning this.
1587
01:36:18,720 --> 01:36:20,245
Your son tell you that?
1588
01:36:20,320 --> 01:36:22,687
"Wishing you could sip on
henny out your crunk cup...
1589
01:36:22,760 --> 01:36:24,728
"without a bitch
giving you the side eye."
1590
01:36:24,840 --> 01:36:26,604
You write this, Troy?
1591
01:36:26,680 --> 01:36:28,808
No.
1592
01:36:28,880 --> 01:36:30,962
- Mine wasn't chosen.
- But you wanted to be.
1593
01:36:31,040 --> 01:36:33,520
What I wanted didn't matter then,
so why should it matter now?
1594
01:36:33,640 --> 01:36:35,961
I'm the one who got you
to send the police, remember?
1595
01:36:36,040 --> 01:36:39,169
The invite came
from the Pasfiche Facebook account.
1596
01:36:39,240 --> 01:36:41,242
I canceled the party!
1597
01:36:41,320 --> 01:36:43,800
You got to believe me.
1598
01:36:43,880 --> 01:36:46,360
What were your intentions
when you went back the second time?
1599
01:36:46,920 --> 01:36:48,160
To stop it.
1600
01:36:48,280 --> 01:36:49,850
By any means necessary?
1601
01:36:51,440 --> 01:36:52,930
Someone once told me that...
1602
01:36:53,000 --> 01:36:55,287
Winchester was like jazz.
1603
01:36:55,360 --> 01:36:56,771
Now I don '2' know much about jazz...
1604
01:36:56,840 --> 01:36:58,729
but from what I can tell...
1605
01:36:58,800 --> 01:37:01,849
when your solo is up...
1606
01:37:01,960 --> 01:37:04,008
you better blow.
1607
01:37:04,960 --> 01:37:06,610
You want to hear something strange?
1608
01:37:06,680 --> 01:37:09,047
The Pasfiche group page
hadn't been used for months...
1609
01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:10,406
until the invite went out.
1610
01:37:10,480 --> 01:37:11,641
Why am I even here?
1611
01:37:11,760 --> 01:37:13,489
What's interesting
is how easy it was...
1612
01:37:13,560 --> 01:37:15,403
to access the group page.
1613
01:37:15,480 --> 01:37:19,007
The password was "pa$tiche"
spelled with a dollar sign...
1614
01:37:19,080 --> 01:37:20,411
according to Kurt...
1615
01:37:20,520 --> 01:37:23,000
but it seems
it's recently been changed.
1616
01:37:23,080 --> 01:37:25,082
I couldn't figure it out at first.
1617
01:37:25,160 --> 01:37:27,049
Then I thought to try something.
1618
01:37:27,120 --> 01:37:33,127
578-35-26-196.
1619
01:37:33,240 --> 01:37:35,846
Eleven numbers.
1620
01:37:35,920 --> 01:37:37,684
Just like our student I.D. numbers.
1621
01:37:40,520 --> 01:37:43,763
Just like your student I.D. number.
1622
01:37:46,480 --> 01:37:48,847
As much as you hate him,
you will stop at nothing...
1623
01:37:48,920 --> 01:37:51,400
to protect your master and his boy.
1624
01:37:51,480 --> 01:37:53,847
Did you send out the invite, Sam?
1625
01:37:57,240 --> 01:38:00,369
It wasn't speeches that turned
the tide for civil rights.
1626
01:38:00,440 --> 01:38:03,125
It was the anarchists willing
to provoke the police...
1627
01:38:03,200 --> 01:38:04,326
get sprayed by hoses...
1628
01:38:04,440 --> 01:38:06,886
anything to cause a scene
and make press.
1629
01:38:06,960 --> 01:38:09,804
That invite, whoever sent it...
1630
01:38:09,880 --> 01:38:12,042
should have been met
with derision and outrage.
1631
01:38:12,120 --> 01:38:14,327
Instead, 100 people, your students...
1632
01:38:14,400 --> 01:38:16,482
showed up,
and they pulled out posters...
1633
01:38:16,560 --> 01:38:18,050
and decorations and costumes...
1634
01:38:18,160 --> 01:38:19,650
that they had made
for such an event...
1635
01:38:19,720 --> 01:38:21,085
and they showed our school...
1636
01:38:21,160 --> 01:38:23,401
exactly where it's at.
1637
01:39:06,640 --> 01:39:08,802
Well, you've made some new friends.
1638
01:39:09,800 --> 01:39:11,564
I guess you could call them that.
1639
01:39:13,440 --> 01:39:15,602
- So...
- No, not right now.
1640
01:39:15,720 --> 01:39:16,721
Not here.
1641
01:39:21,360 --> 01:39:23,806
- Fine.
- Oh, come on, Coco.
1642
01:39:24,840 --> 01:39:26,604
Fuck you, Troy.
1643
01:39:26,680 --> 01:39:28,364
Look, my dad saw your videos...
1644
01:39:28,480 --> 01:39:29,891
and he's just a little worried--
1645
01:39:29,960 --> 01:39:32,088
How it will look?
1646
01:39:32,160 --> 01:39:33,889
With your campaign and all?
1647
01:39:40,920 --> 01:39:43,321
What's your best friend Reggie think?
1648
01:39:46,360 --> 01:39:50,684
Hey... we had fun.
1649
01:39:50,760 --> 01:39:52,569
All right?
1650
01:39:58,320 --> 01:40:02,803
You know, I get that everybody else
wants you to win, Troy.
1651
01:40:02,880 --> 01:40:04,245
But do you?
1652
01:40:23,160 --> 01:40:24,844
Hello, Sam.
1653
01:40:27,200 --> 01:40:29,521
I read about Armstrong-Parker.
1654
01:40:29,600 --> 01:40:32,206
Yeah, Pres. made
an executive withdrawal...
1655
01:40:32,280 --> 01:40:34,601
so Armstrong stays black.
1656
01:40:34,680 --> 01:40:36,728
Congrats.
1657
01:40:36,840 --> 01:40:39,571
I don't know. It's getting
a little too dramatic, man.
1658
01:40:39,640 --> 01:40:43,725
I'm thinking about getting
an apartment off campus.
1659
01:40:43,800 --> 01:40:45,484
So we'll see.
1660
01:40:45,600 --> 01:40:48,524
Sam White going
against the grain? Shocking.
1661
01:40:48,600 --> 01:40:52,047
How's Papa White?
1662
01:40:52,120 --> 01:40:53,884
- Recovering.
- Good.
1663
01:40:58,520 --> 01:40:59,169
Well...
1664
01:40:59,280 --> 01:41:02,250
We were actually
on the phone last night...
1665
01:41:02,320 --> 01:41:04,004
for hours.
1666
01:41:04,120 --> 01:41:07,602
It was the first time
we talked since the bypass.
1667
01:41:07,680 --> 01:41:10,126
And he was putting up a strong front...
1668
01:41:10,200 --> 01:41:12,328
teasing me about being so worried.
1669
01:41:12,400 --> 01:41:15,722
And then came the stories
about me as a little girl...
1670
01:41:15,840 --> 01:41:18,081
that I'd heard 1,000 times.
1671
01:41:18,160 --> 01:41:21,926
About how...
1672
01:41:24,360 --> 01:41:27,045
independent I was.
1673
01:41:29,400 --> 01:41:30,731
Want to talk about it?
1674
01:41:33,720 --> 01:41:35,324
My mom worked nights...
1675
01:41:35,440 --> 01:41:40,890
so he'd always
take me to school, and...
1676
01:41:40,960 --> 01:41:42,724
it used to piss me off...
1677
01:41:42,800 --> 01:41:45,883
because he'd follow me
all the way to homeroom.
1678
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:47,530
And whenever he'd try
to hold my hand...
1679
01:41:47,600 --> 01:41:51,685
I'd scream and... pull it away.
1680
01:41:51,760 --> 01:41:55,128
The students and the parents...
1681
01:41:55,200 --> 01:41:57,965
they'd see this white man...
1682
01:41:58,040 --> 01:42:00,850
and this black girl...
1683
01:42:00,920 --> 01:42:03,002
and they'd wonder
what we were doing together.
1684
01:42:03,080 --> 01:42:07,449
Even at nine, I could feel
their eyes on me.
1685
01:42:07,520 --> 01:42:09,443
And I was just a bratty girl.
1686
01:42:09,560 --> 01:42:13,167
I didn't know any better,
but the thought of losing him--
1687
01:42:14,680 --> 01:42:16,808
You know?
1688
01:42:16,880 --> 01:42:19,531
I, um...
1689
01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:22,968
I just feel so bad.
1690
01:42:26,760 --> 01:42:31,243
How awful am I to do that to...
1691
01:42:31,320 --> 01:42:35,120
him, or to anyone...
1692
01:42:36,520 --> 01:42:38,170
that I...
1693
01:42:40,240 --> 01:42:42,004
love.
1694
01:42:47,480 --> 01:42:50,006
I'm sure he forgives you.
1695
01:42:52,080 --> 01:42:53,445
You think so?
1696
01:42:59,640 --> 01:43:03,326
So anyway, I don't know...
1697
01:43:03,400 --> 01:43:06,006
why I said all that.
1698
01:43:07,920 --> 01:43:09,570
Sam, where are you going?
1699
01:43:13,200 --> 01:43:14,725
I don't know.
1700
01:43:16,680 --> 01:43:18,808
Lunch.
1701
01:43:18,920 --> 01:43:21,366
Isn't it Mac N' Cheese day
at Armstrong-Parker?
1702
01:43:24,760 --> 01:43:26,524
You think they'll let you in?
1703
01:43:52,880 --> 01:43:54,245
Let me get this straight.
1704
01:43:54,320 --> 01:43:55,924
First you try to break up
the black house.
1705
01:43:56,040 --> 01:43:58,771
Then you take down the sister
with the little radio show.
1706
01:43:58,840 --> 01:44:00,444
Then after all of that...
1707
01:44:00,520 --> 01:44:02,921
-your son throws a blackface party.
- Now wait a minute.
1708
01:44:03,000 --> 01:44:05,367
Now if you thought you were
having trouble finding money before...
1709
01:44:05,440 --> 01:44:07,761
just wait until cable news
gets their hands on this story.
1710
01:44:07,840 --> 01:44:10,002
I mean, Bill Maher
is going to fuck you up.
1711
01:44:10,080 --> 01:44:11,081
You know, I've heard enough.
1712
01:44:11,160 --> 01:44:12,810
I'm sorry.
1713
01:44:12,880 --> 01:44:16,043
Look, the point is
from where I'm sitting...
1714
01:44:16,120 --> 01:44:17,929
-this place is a gold mine.
- What?
1715
01:44:18,000 --> 01:44:20,731
Well, we still need the stuff
that leads up to the party.
1716
01:44:20,800 --> 01:44:21,801
That happened already.
1717
01:44:21,880 --> 01:44:23,211
Well yeah, we can re-enact it.
1718
01:44:23,280 --> 01:44:24,122
Re-enact.
1719
01:44:24,200 --> 01:44:25,929
It's a documentary term.
l__
1720
01:44:26,000 --> 01:44:29,004
The point is, I could be
putting together an overall deal today.
1721
01:44:29,080 --> 01:44:32,050
I am talking real money.
1722
01:44:32,160 --> 01:44:34,561
Turns out the only thing
Americans love in their reality TV...
1723
01:44:34,640 --> 01:44:37,371
more than ignorant black kids
is crazy racist white folks.
1724
01:44:37,440 --> 01:44:38,851
Now look here .
1725
01:44:38,920 --> 01:44:41,287
This is an honorable institution.
1726
01:44:41,360 --> 01:44:44,330
The idea that we would
so much as entertain--
1727
01:44:46,160 --> 01:44:47,446
How much we talking?
129779
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