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1
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,017
I love a good panel.
2
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,486
Krusty clearly hates
being there,
3
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,389
but he still gets super mad
when anyone but him talks.
4
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:24,558
Please welcome
the legendary stars
5
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:26,927
of the Krusty the Clown Show.
6
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,396
(cheering)
7
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:29,663
Hey-hey!
8
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,266
And a non-writing producer.
9
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,934
Ooh, non-writing.
10
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:35,669
Hey-hey, kids!
11
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,438
ALL:
Hey-hey, Krusty!
12
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:41,075
Have we got a great panel
planned for you today.
13
00:00:41,109 --> 00:00:43,043
What is it, Howard,
the usual crap?
14
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:46,714
Oh, yeah,
that'll kill some time.
15
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,120
(audience screams)
16
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,521
(grunting)
17
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,957
Kids, call the police!
This isn't a sketch!
18
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,058
(groans)
19
00:00:58,092 --> 00:00:59,059
Ah.
20
00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:00,394
My legs!
21
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,062
Stick to the script.
22
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,298
(straining):
Ladies and gentlemen,
23
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:07,067
Miami Sound Machine.
24
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,336
♪ Come on, shake... ♪
25
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,539
Where do you come up
with your ideas?
26
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,441
I'm a genius. Next.
27
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,777
-Are there any plans...
-BOTH: For another Krusty movie?
28
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,647
We're waiting for a story
that needs to be told.
29
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,083
Once we see that, we'll copy it
and call it a parody.
30
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,253
Oy. Does anyone have a question
31
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:27,688
that hasn't been asked
a thousand times?
32
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,593
I have the worst fans
in the world.
33
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,728
Now we've got a big surprise
34
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,498
for the best fans in the world!
35
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,767
We're making some big changes
36
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,969
to your favorite cartoon.
37
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,273
-(audience gasps)
-MAN: It's different.
38
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:49,143
It's an all-female reboot
of Itchy & Scratchy!
39
00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:52,646
BOTH:
Oh, my God!
40
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,083
Pretty enlightened, eh, kids?
We here at the Krusty Show
41
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,118
really care
about gender diversity.
42
00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:01,855
Ask anyone: our lawyers,
our attorneys, anyone.
43
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,357
A girl Itchy & Scratchy?
44
00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:05,459
No, no, no, this can't be.
45
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,628
They've ruined my childhood.
46
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,963
Your childhood
is currently happening.
47
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,199
That's how I know.
48
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,833
It doesn't make any sense.
49
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:15,469
In real life,
Itchy and Scratchy are dudes.
50
00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:18,172
Girl mice don't have
the upper body strength
51
00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,373
to wield a chain saw.
52
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,542
Is truth dead?
53
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:23,644
BOYS:
Boo!
54
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,814
Ah, you boys are leaving me
for video games anyway.
55
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,217
Zap, zap, zap,
you'll all die alone.
56
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,118
Girl power is where it's at.
57
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,354
That movie where Superman
was a chick
58
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:36,524
made a megillah of shekels.
Am I right, ladies?
59
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,326
(girls cheering)
60
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,394
See? Girls like my pandering.
61
00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:43,163
Remember this if there's
ever a gender war.
62
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,165
Oh, this is the worst change
63
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,401
Krusty's ever made to the show,
64
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:50,338
even worse than
Sideshow Leonard Cohen.
65
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,005
When girl Itchy & Scratchy
comes on,
66
00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:53,541
we should totally hate-watch it.
67
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:56,009
No, everybody come over
to my house,
68
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,811
and we'll turn off
the TV the second
69
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,046
that girl cartoon comes on.
70
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,215
We'll hate-not-watch it.
71
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,651
Yeah! Hate-not-watch!
72
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,220
Yeah, that won't not show 'em.
73
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:10,023
I never really thought
about Itchy and Scratchy
74
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:14,027
as male or female, but it is
cool that they're girls now.
75
00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,096
I always thought
they were a married couple,
76
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,998
and that's why
they fought so much.
77
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,434
Mom, they're different species.
78
00:03:20,468 --> 00:03:23,471
I don't know what to be
liberal about anymore.
79
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,908
I am so pumped to hate-not-watch
Itchy & Scratchy.
80
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,744
I've not popped the popcorn,
the lights are not turned down.
81
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,012
Perfect.
82
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,015
Listen, son, I'm proud that
you're starting to hate things,
83
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,049
but take it slow.
84
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,352
If you use up all your hate
when you're young,
85
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:42,055
one day you'll be an old man
who likes things that suck.
86
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,091
ANNOUNCER (on TV):
Tonight, cabbage.
87
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,894
It is a lovely shade of gray,
88
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,229
and just look at the wrinkling.
89
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:54,034
All I'm saying is, if they ever
make a female Mr. Magoo,
90
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,804
I will lose it,
I will just lose it!
91
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,071
KRUSTY (on TV):
Hey-hey, kids!
92
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,207
It's time to tickle
your funny bones
93
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,111
and your Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission bones
94
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:07,147
by presenting
the all-new, all-female
95
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,149
Itchy & Scratchy!
96
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,752
Now to sit in silence
till it's over.
97
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,954
Blindfolds on, gentlemen.
98
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,225
This is Lisa Simpson,
99
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,161
recording my reaction
to this historic moment
100
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,797
in cartoon women's history.
101
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,300
SINGERS:
♪ They fight, they bite ♪
102
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:28,135
♪ They bite and fight and bite,
bite, bite, bite ♪
103
00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,570
KRUSTY:
♪ Now they're girls ♪
104
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,004
SINGERS:
♪ The Itchy & Scratchy ♪
105
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,340
KRUSTY:
♪ Girls! ♪
106
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,010
May I?
107
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:48,121
♪ I got my ticket
for the long way 'round ♪
108
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,691
♪ Two bottle o' whiskey
for the way ♪
109
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,793
(in distance):
♪ And I sure would like ♪
110
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,362
♪ Some sweet company ♪
111
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,364
♪ And I'm leaving tomorrow ♪
112
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:58,499
♪ What do you say? ♪
113
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:02,202
-(laughing)
-♪ When I'm gone,
when I'm gone ♪
114
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,838
♪ You're gonna miss me
when I'm gone ♪
115
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:07,708
-(laughing)
-♪ You're gonna miss me by my
hair, you're gonna miss me... ♪
116
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:11,612
Ha-ha! I knew you couldn't
resist watching.
117
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:15,182
And guess what, you laughed!
It was funny.
118
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,017
I-I wasn't laughing.
119
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:20,688
I-I was crying a-and burping!
120
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,125
And... open.
121
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,226
We did it.
122
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,629
We prejudged something
without giving it a chance.
123
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:31,031
I am so proud of us.
124
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:34,702
Like Bart Simpson would ever
watch a girl Itchy & Scratchy.
125
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,237
Never gonna happen.
126
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:38,506
-(grunting)
-Yeah.
127
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:41,475
That little liar.
If only people could know
128
00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,378
that Bart laughed
even harder than I did...
129
00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:45,913
(gasps)
130
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,582
All right,
you soda-squirting hypocrite,
131
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:51,385
I know exactly what to do
with this video.
132
00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:53,421
♪
133
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,993
TOSHUA JOSH (on TV):
Welcome to Josh.0,
134
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,763
the show for people who want
to look at the Internet
135
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:05,165
but don't have a computer
or a phone.
136
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,436
You know what bugs me
about old guys at the gym?
137
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:11,872
They always forget
to wipe down the machine.
138
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,675
(laughing):
He means the blood.
139
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:18,446
Now, this boy says he hates
all-girl Itchy & Scratchy,
140
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,347
but then this happened...
141
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,883
(laughing)
142
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,118
Bart, you got to see this!
143
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,521
Some old guy at a gym
got hit by a boat!
144
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:31,291
Also, now everyone knows you're
the world's biggest hypocrite.
145
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,293
(laughing)
146
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:37,030
(laughing):
You said you weren't gonna
watch it,
147
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,867
and then you did
and you loved it!
148
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:44,071
Then you got busted and I called
you in here and laughed at you!
149
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:47,140
And I'm still doing it!
150
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,042
Look at you.
151
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,044
What a jerk.
152
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,079
(Bart groans)
153
00:06:57,618 --> 00:07:01,121
Well, Bart, how does it feel
to be trolled, memed, giffed,
154
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,390
and, dare I say, pwned?
155
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,058
How do you know those words?
156
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,327
I read about them
in Parade magazine.
157
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,330
Big deal, I was exposed
as a liar on the Internet.
158
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,834
I've got so much cred built up,
nothing can take me down.
159
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,969
You betrayed us, Bart.
160
00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,972
And worse, you betrayed
your own wang.
161
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:22,009
You know what?
Yes, I laughed at a cartoon.
162
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:23,944
Why? Because it was funny.
163
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,813
So what if Itchy and Scratchy
are girls?
164
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,616
I laughed, and you can't
take back the laugh.
165
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,950
Girls aren't funny.
166
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,019
They're hot or moms.
167
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,020
Or both.
168
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,355
Girls stole Itchy and Scratchy.
169
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:38,626
What are they gonna take next,
our body spray?
170
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,761
Our puka shell necklaces?
171
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,530
-Yeah!
-Lame!
172
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:45,999
Girls get everything:
bigger, softer baseballs,
173
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,603
chick flicks,
two-piece bathing suits,
174
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,471
and on House Hunters
International,
175
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,174
they always choose
the house that she wants.
176
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,544
He's right.
The wife gets the beach view,
177
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,479
but it's always a longer commute
for the husband.
178
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,148
-You know, you're right.
-Oh, yeah.
179
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,482
You guys see what's happening?
180
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,718
You're listening to Milhouse!
181
00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:07,320
So? Maybe we are.
182
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,823
MILHOUSE:
They are listening to me.
183
00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:13,627
The next thing I say
must be perfectly chosen
184
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,463
to show I am worthy
of leadership.
185
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,731
Get him!
186
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:19,867
(shouting)
187
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,869
(panting)
188
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,904
(groans)
189
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,907
(groans)
190
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,249
-(boys growling)
-(Bart gasps)
191
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,485
(hissing)
192
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:42,255
(gasps) Sixth graders. Tweens.
193
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,992
What are you doing
in the girl's room, Seat Soaker?
194
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,994
No, no, I didn't mean
to come in here.
195
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,596
I need sanctuary.
196
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:52,065
Hey, you guys have
a candy machine? No fair.
197
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,401
Spin him till he barfs.
198
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:55,903
Ah!
199
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:58,105
I'm full of hummus and milk!
200
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,140
(groaning)
201
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,211
Pink spray paint?
202
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:07,547
Give that back.
That's for Skinner's office.
203
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,183
You tell anyone about this,
you're canceled.
204
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,720
Charlie Rose canceled.
205
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:16,389
No, no, no, you can trust me.
I'm not just any fourth grader.
206
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:20,560
Whoa, this dude's El Barto.
207
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:24,197
Huh, I always thought it was
that fifth grader, Eloise Barto.
208
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,099
Yeah, sometimes
I get her e-mail.
209
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,702
You know, if you fill up
a leaf blower with paint,
210
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,570
you can coat
Skinner's whole office.
211
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,973
-Duh.
-Double duh.
212
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,542
Where are we gonna get
a leaf blower?
213
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,144
Willie's shack.
214
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,478
(sound of bagpipes playing)
215
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:43,383
Whoa, homemade prank masks.
216
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,185
The knit is on.
217
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,158
This'll teach Skinner
to ban sandals.
218
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,794
Oh, he will not
silence our toes.
219
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,328
Hurry, Skinner's almost back
220
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,264
from his lunchtime
dog-walking job.
221
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,399
(humming)
222
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,434
(door opens)
223
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,639
I will not negotiate
with terrorists.
224
00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:08,608
I'll just give in.
Sandals unbanned.
225
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:14,147
Ladies, that was smooth,
Barbie smooth.
226
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:15,949
So smooth.
227
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,285
Hey, why are you still here,
truck-nuts?
228
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,287
Whoa, is this your hideout?
229
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,122
It's the old Home Ec classroom,
230
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,691
where they would brainwash girls
231
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,425
into being good
little housewives,
232
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,027
but now it's our war room.
233
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,429
Also, we cook here,
234
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,998
we do a little bit of sewing.
235
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,800
Stop telling him things!
236
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,168
Cooties be damned,
you girls are badass
237
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,704
and your pranks are next level.
238
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,772
Take a seat and learn something.
239
00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,941
We don't do "pranks,"
240
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,143
we drop awareness bombs.
241
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:46,613
Our protest crew
is called Bossy Riot.
242
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,381
We're pushing back
against the pushback,
243
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,383
starting with this school.
244
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:53,353
Look at this his-tory book.
245
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,022
BART:
Cool shades.
246
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,828
That is textbook
textbook shredding.
247
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,662
Now do you see
what we're doing here?
248
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,664
I think I do.
249
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:09,002
You're sticking it to the man,
but this time, the man is men.
250
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,038
Look, you got to let me
join your gang.
251
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:13,707
You know, if we're really
serious about gender equality,
252
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:16,243
it's only right
that a boy be our servant.
253
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:20,814
Okay, No-varies, you're in,
if you pass this test...
254
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:23,683
Steal Skinner's cell phone.
255
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,585
Work or personal?
256
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,454
-CHALMERS: Skinner!
-AGNES: Seymour!
257
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,523
Welcome to girlhood.
258
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,064
Gentlemen, our way of life
259
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,399
-is under attack.
-Hear, hear!
260
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,669
Society is trying to erase boys.
261
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,873
They give us drugs that make us
do girly things,
262
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,674
like pay attention.
263
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,677
They're putting drugs
in our medication?
264
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,079
We need to band together.
265
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,714
Like a sorority, but for dudes.
266
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:58,585
I give you
the Boys Rights Association.
267
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,888
-BOYS: BRA!
-B-R-A.
268
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,956
-Right now,
we're just training BRAs.
-Mm-hmm.
269
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,392
But soon,
we'll be the strongest,
270
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:08,962
most supportive BRAs
anyone has ever seen.
271
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:12,933
(chanting):
We are BRAs! We are BRAs!
272
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,903
Our son has one, two...
(gasps)
273
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,938
...eight friends.
274
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:21,274
They're more than just friends,
he's-he's the leader.
275
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,876
(exhales)
276
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:24,978
I'm feeling this wave of relief,
277
00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:27,247
not worrying about
my son's social life.
278
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:31,952
I can stop being a mother
and start being a... a woman.
279
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:34,922
(exhales)
Say it. Say it again.
280
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,958
Our son has friends.
281
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,797
♪ Old folks say
"You poor little fool" ♪
282
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:47,567
♪ Down the streets,
I'm the girl next door ♪
283
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,570
♪ I'm the fox
you've been waiting for ♪
284
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,740
♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪
285
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,510
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪
286
00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,747
♪ Hello, world,
I'm your wild girl ♪
287
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:04,751
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb ♪
288
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,955
♪ Stone Age love
and strange sounds, too... ♪
289
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:11,158
This is why I sit.
290
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:14,761
♪ Bad nights causing
teenage blues ♪
291
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,765
♪ Get down, ladies,
you've got nothing to lose ♪
292
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,668
♪ Hello, Daddy, hello, Mom ♪
293
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:26,373
♪ I'm your
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb... ♪
294
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,540
BROCKMAN:
Springfield,
295
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,142
a town living in fear,
296
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:32,112
as masked pranksters
calling themselves "Bossy Riot,"
297
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,647
spread their terrifying message
of female empowerment.
298
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:37,985
The latest victim of this "gal
Qaeda," our once-proud symbol
299
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,820
of the portly
pastry-purveying patriarchy.
300
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,822
HOMER:
"Lard Lady"?
301
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:46,359
But a donut is the ultimate
symbol of masculinity.
302
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:49,229
The only lead police have
as to the identity of Bossy Riot
303
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,564
is this security camera footage.
304
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,466
(Homer laughs)
305
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,502
HOMER:
Moe and his bats.
306
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,172
Bossy Riot is so cool.
307
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,974
We need fearless
female activists
308
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:04,511
to fight back against misogyny
and man-spreading.
309
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:08,248
Well, whoever they are,
they are the coolest badasses
310
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,751
this town has ever seen,
whoever they are.
311
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,221
Ooh, Bart winked at me.
312
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,823
I must be in on a joke.
(chuckles)
313
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,358
-(Bart humming)
-Hmm...
314
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,597
-(screams)
-Bart, are you in Bossy Riot?
315
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,666
-No way.
-Ah, good.
316
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,002
Because if you were fighting
for women's rights,
317
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:32,739
it would destroy my entire
vision of the universe.
318
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,874
-Actually, I totally am.
-(shouts)
319
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,114
You can't be an activist
for women's rights.
320
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,083
You don't know anything
about the feminist cause.
321
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,052
Sure I do.
Chicks get a raw deal.
322
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,687
I'm a little fuzzy on the deets,
but take my word for it.
323
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,024
(groans) It's all about
the deets. You're not a girl.
324
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:54,094
-You just want to spray-paint
the world and watch it drip.
-Mm-hmm.
325
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,097
You've never been called shrill
just because you speak up.
326
00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:00,934
And-and girls' clothing
has no pockets,
327
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:03,703
while yours are lousy
with pockets!
328
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,239
This is good stuff,
I got to write it down.
329
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,544
(Bart humming)
330
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,746
This is someone else's war,
331
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,117
and you,
y-you're just a mercenary.
332
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,419
Mercenaries are cool,
like Boba Fett.
333
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:23,156
Oh, yeah, Boba Fett,
great character.
334
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:26,559
Boba Fett's badass.
He wears a jetpack and a cape.
335
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,061
Pick a lane, weirdo.
336
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,097
Why does every discussion
about feminism
337
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,932
turn into an argument
about Star Wars?
338
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,968
If Boba Fett's such
a great bounty hunter,
339
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:37,437
why is his armor all banged up?
340
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:40,940
(sighs) It's a look,
like distressed denim.
341
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,942
You shouldn't be
part of a protest
342
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:45,178
if you don't care
about the cause.
343
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,947
Well, you care.
Why don't you come with?
344
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,616
Maybe I will.
345
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:52,019
Great. Bring black gloves
and no ID.
346
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,520
You've been Tasered
before, right?
347
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,122
It only hurts
until you pass out.
348
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,590
I'm excited;
I want to, I do, but...
349
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,592
there's a part of me
that's scared,
350
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:03,096
and that part is my body
and my head.
351
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,364
It's okay, I get it.
352
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,099
There's nothing wrong
with being all talk.
353
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,468
Us feminists need
cheerleaders, too.
354
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,536
(groans)
355
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:14,207
So, what's up, my fellow
Ruthless Bader Ginsburgs?
356
00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:16,376
What's on the a-gender
for the evening?
357
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,879
Your friends in the so-called
"Boys Rights Association"
358
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,149
have been protesting
The Krusty Show.
359
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,884
I told you
not to light the toys yet.
360
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:28,355
I didn't,
they just burst into flames.
361
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:31,058
Krusty caved.
He said he'd never show
362
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:34,127
another all-girl
Itchy & Scratchy ever again.
363
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:37,130
So we're gonna destroy
the master tapes
364
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,866
of every Itchy & Scratchy.
365
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,168
Wait, what? No.
366
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,802
I love those cartoons.
367
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,471
I can't let you do it.
368
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,006
Oh, you can't "let" us?
369
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,212
Don't have a lady cow.
370
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:56,049
All cows are ladies.
371
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,656
That thing you said about me
being all talk?
372
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:07,160
Well, I have prepared
two comebacks,
373
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,429
and I will now give you both.
374
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:13,032
Those girls are gonna destroy
every Itchy & Scratchy, forever!
375
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:16,035
(grunting)
376
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,037
Hey, hey, boys and boys!
377
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,872
Well, congratulations,
378
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:23,076
I'm never gonna air the girl
Itchy & Scratchy again.
379
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:27,714
You hit me where it hurts
the most: right in the sponsors.
380
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,048
Buy 'em all.
381
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,223
(gasps)
We're too late.
382
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:42,195
They're going to destroy
the tapes on live TV.
383
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,197
Let's get him
out of those bras and go.
384
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:48,368
Uh, no, you can leave me
like this. I'm good.
385
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,069
We are Bossy Riot,
386
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:53,373
and we're gonna drop all
the original Itchy & Scratchys
387
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,476
into a pool
of nail polish remover.
388
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,744
(all gasping)
389
00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:04,050
That's crazy. We have those
backed up a thousand times.
390
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,052
Right, Howard?
391
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,055
What do you do?!
392
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,057
Don't do it.
Those shows are funny.
393
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,992
Mice killing cats,
guts everywhere.
394
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,995
It doesn't matter
if it's boy guts or girl guts.
395
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,397
Guts are guts.
396
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,599
See, the thing
about comedy is...
397
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,101
Bart, stop mansplaining!
398
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,803
No, no, no, no,
if I keep talking,
399
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,605
they'll get it eventually.
400
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,479
(grunts)
401
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,319
The fumes are burning my eyes.
402
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:43,122
(all crying)
403
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:47,126
Look, they're crying,
on live TV.
404
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,129
Glitterize their tears.
405
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,165
Mama!
406
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,617
Don't worry, sir,
your brothers are united
407
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,852
in blaming this on you.
408
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,787
(shouting in agreement)
409
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,823
(groans)
410
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,828
Hey, hey! Come back here!
411
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,531
You there, sweet innocent girls,
412
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:28,034
did you see three crazed
man-haters run through here?
413
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,903
Gee, Officer,
they went that way.
414
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,039
Thanks, princess. Thank you.
415
00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:35,242
Wait a second.
416
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,678
Do any of you babysit?
417
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,547
Great. Be at my house
Saturday at 7:00.
418
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:43,049
And if Ralph asks you
to give him a bath,
419
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,352
do not give him a bath.
420
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,054
So I guess I'm not
in the group anymore.
421
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,223
You were never in the group.
422
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:53,059
We just kept you around
for fingerprints and DNA.
423
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:56,195
But making those boys cry
was hardcore.
424
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:59,732
You, uh, ever think
about wearing the yarn?
425
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,701
Me? Join you?
426
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,237
Can I do it?
Can I push my beliefs further
427
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:06,673
than they've ever gone?
428
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,708
-Well, let us know.
-(clicks tongue)
429
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,945
Mask me.
430
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,718
("Extreme Ways" by Moby playing)
431
00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,724
So spill it, Simpson.
You were on the inside.
432
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,492
What's the deal with girls?
433
00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:02,094
Well, check this out:
they also burp.
434
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,096
No way. From where?
435
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:05,932
Is that even allowed?
436
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,300
Let's see, what else?
437
00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:09,302
They're always telling
each other they're pretty,
438
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,971
their bathroom candy
tastes really weird,
439
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,674
but there's one thing
that really crushed me.
440
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,909
I almost don't want
to say it out loud.
441
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,578
They don't envy us.
442
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,912
-♪
-Oh...
443
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:21,481
(gasps)
444
00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:22,482
(sighs)
445
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:25,084
(Milhouse sobs quietly)
446
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,125
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
447
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,562
Shh!32609
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