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Hi. I'm Michael.
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Paul.
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I hear you're having
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some trouble.
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It's okay.
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It's okay.
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I just...
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don't understand
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why God made me like this.
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He didn't. Trust me.
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Let me tell you something.
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You should never
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define yourself
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by your choices
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or your desires.
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Gay doesn't exist.
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It's a false identity.
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But this isn't my choice.
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Wh-Why would I choose...
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You always have a choice.
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You wanna go
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to heaven, right?
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Yes.
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If you're a moral person,
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then you'll choose
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heterosexuality
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in order to be with God.
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Ohh...
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Hey.
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Hey. Hey.
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Where are you going?
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I'm gonna
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make us breakfast.
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No.
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Yeah. Come on.
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Breakfast is the most important
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part of the day.
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I'll have muffins
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at my meeting.
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Muffin?
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Yeah, muffins.
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Blueberry.
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Mmm.
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Okay. Okay.
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Then we'll do lunch, okay?
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Mm, morning breath.
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Oh, stop it.
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Get off!
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Don't you,
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like, work at XY?
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Yeah. Yeah. That's right.
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'Cause you guys are, like,
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the only cool gay magazine
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out there right now.
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Oh. Yeah, sort of.
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Listen up, queens!
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♪♪
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Matthew Shepard
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was an openly gay man.
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When he went to a Laramie,
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Wyoming bar last week,
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these two suspects
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lured him outside,
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pretending to be gay.
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Now they're charged
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with a vicious attack
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that left Shepard
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hanging on this fence
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for 18 hours
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in freezing temperatures.
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Shepard remained
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on life support
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until this morning
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when he passed away.
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Shepard's family
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is grateful for support
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from around the world.
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They killed him
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because they were afraid.
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And they are afraid
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because of what
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their churches tell them
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and because of what
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they see in movies.
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It's fucking ridiculous.
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I hope they get
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the death penalty.
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You're against
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the death penalty.
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Not in this case.
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That's like being for free
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speech until someone tells you
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something that pisses you off.
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He died a slow death
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after being tied to a fence
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and tortured.
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Exactly. A slow death
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is way more painful.
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They should spend the rest
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of their lives in prison.
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Okay, look. We need
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to move away from labels,
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because they segment,
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and they lead to persecution.
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People don't wanna
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be perceived as gay
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because they're afraid
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they'll end up like Matthew.
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But we are a gay magazine.
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Identifying as gay
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is being part of a community.
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It's recognition,
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it's progress...
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We've been telling the kids
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in the magazine to come out,
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to be proud to be gay.
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They should be proud
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to be themselves.
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Gay and straight
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are just social constructs.
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Oh, God,
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you and your queer theory.
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Class is in session
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with Professor Michael Glatze.
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Shut up.
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Okay. Okay, look.
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We need to put out the message
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that being attracted
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to the same sex
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doesn't define who you are.
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♪♪
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Hey.
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Have you been smoking?
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Just one.
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A small one.
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It was a small cigarette.
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Busted.
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A letter to the editor.
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90% are some poor teen
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with religious parents.
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Fucking
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Christian fundamentalists
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should burn in hell.
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Uh, okay.
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In the meantime,
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there is
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a design competition
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for the Halifax
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International Airport.
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I don't wanna
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move to Halifax.
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I know, but my father wants me
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to head up the bid committee.
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It's huge.
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Halifax is so boring.
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But your hometown
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is boring.
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Is not.
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Olympia?
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Yeah.
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It's all trees
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and fog and coffee.
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And the birthplace
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of the riot grrrl movement
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and where Kurt Cobain
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wrote most of Nevermind.
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Oh, well...
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Yeah.
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In that case...
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But it's unsustainable here
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unless you're in
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the dot-com movement.
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And I don't wanna live
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in a studio on Mission Street
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when we're 50.
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Well, we won't be.
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We'll be in a big mansion
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on a hill.
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Duh.
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May 21st, 2000.
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I used to imagine myself
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growing old
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while living in a house
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atop a hill in the Castro.
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But what's more
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important to me
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is growing old with
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the love of my life, Bennett.
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So, I'm leaving San Francisco
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to live in Halifax, Canada.
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Although I'm sad
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to leave XY magazine,
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I'm excited
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to finally accept
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the speaking offers
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I've been receiving
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this past year
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thanks to my work
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as a writer and activist.
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What a lot of people
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aren't aware of
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is that the terms
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heterosexual and homosexual
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were only introduced
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about 100 years ago.
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As my mother
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used to always say,
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"When you help others,
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you're helping yourself
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as well."
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My goal is to thread a needle
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through the fabric
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of this country
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and stitch together
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the lives of gay kids
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everywhere.
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I know a lot of you
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are balancing religion
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and sexuality, but,
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I mean, come on,
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what God would punish you
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for finding love?
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This is where
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I spread my mom's ashes.
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Oh, my God.
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She's still here.
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Mom, I'm going to stay here
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with you.
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Don't be stubborn.
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You are not skipping
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the semester to be with me.
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I can help you through this.
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I'm going to be fine,
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I told you.
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I feel better.
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Really, Michael.
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I am so proud of you.
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I love you so much.
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I love you.
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I should have stayed.
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Everyone kept saying,
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"Don't worry,
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we're praying for her.
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Don't worry."
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Everyone's going to die.
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No amount of praying
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is ever going to change that.
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Got to get up, yeah.
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Another five minutes.
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I can't believe
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I'm approaching
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my one year anniversary
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here in Halifax,
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Nova Scotia, Canada.
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The food is amazing,
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especially the sushi.
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The people are friendly, and,
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although the gay community
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is much smaller
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than San Francisco,
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I have some big plans
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to really make an impact.
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What's wrong with you?
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Nothing.
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Look, I have to find
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something else to do.
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I'm just not cut out
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for administrative work.
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Give it some time.
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I have things I want to do.
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I want my own magazine.
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I want something bigger.
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I want to influence people.
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I can't do that here.
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You're being such a shit.
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We made the decision
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to leave San Francisco
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together.
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No, we didn't.
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I mean,
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you had to take this job,
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just like you had to take
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the job that took us
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to San Francisco.
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Which is how you got your job
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at XY,
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so you should be thanking me.
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Is this... this is supposed
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to be Mexican food?
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Why don't you go to the store
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and make your own food?
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Maybe I will.
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You'll have to ask me
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for money, though,
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'cause you don't have any,
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remember?
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Hey.
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You're Mike, right?
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Uhh... yeah.
304
00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:25,379
The "XY Survivor Guide"
305
00:14:25,579 --> 00:14:27,792
really helped me out.
306
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,792
Are you stalking me
307
00:14:30,792 --> 00:14:30,992
or something?
308
00:14:31,192 --> 00:14:32,834
Tyler.
309
00:14:32,876 --> 00:14:34,834
Hi.
310
00:14:34,876 --> 00:14:37,250
I just... I wanted you to know,
311
00:14:37,292 --> 00:14:39,250
I agree with everything
312
00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:39,092
that you say
313
00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:41,108
about gay identity
314
00:14:41,308 --> 00:14:43,125
and sexuality.
315
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,042
I don't want to be put
316
00:14:45,042 --> 00:14:44,883
into a box
317
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,792
just because I'm gay.
318
00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:48,709
You don't want to be
319
00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:48,551
in a box?
320
00:14:48,751 --> 00:14:52,417
No, I don't want to be
321
00:14:52,417 --> 00:14:52,259
in a box.
322
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:55,083
You're so fucking cute.
323
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,584
Can I buy you a drink?
324
00:14:57,626 --> 00:15:01,667
Don't you have a boyfriend?
325
00:15:01,709 --> 00:15:04,834
He'll think you're cute, too.
326
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:50,250
♪♪
327
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:53,876
It's a galaxy.
328
00:15:53,918 --> 00:15:56,667
Um, actually it's a spiral.
329
00:15:56,709 --> 00:15:57,796
It's the only symbol
330
00:15:57,996 --> 00:15:59,083
that means anything.
331
00:15:59,125 --> 00:15:58,925
It's infinite.
332
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:02,292
No beginning, no end.
333
00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:02,942
There's a beginning,
334
00:16:03,142 --> 00:16:03,751
and there's an end.
335
00:16:03,792 --> 00:16:03,592
All right, well,
336
00:16:03,792 --> 00:16:05,167
there's a more complicated one
337
00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:06,626
that has no beginning
338
00:16:06,626 --> 00:16:06,467
and no end,
339
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:08,192
but I can't do it
340
00:16:08,392 --> 00:16:09,918
on my pancakes, okay?
341
00:16:12,209 --> 00:16:15,167
How did you guys meet?
342
00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:15,009
How did we meet?
343
00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:18,709
Uhh... San Francisco.
344
00:16:18,751 --> 00:16:20,005
We volunteered at this AIDS
345
00:16:20,205 --> 00:16:21,459
prevention organization.
346
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:22,918
And we both got arrested
347
00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:22,759
protesting
348
00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:25,000
this Christian Coalition event,
349
00:16:25,042 --> 00:16:24,842
which is how
350
00:16:25,042 --> 00:16:28,417
I knew it was true love.
351
00:16:28,459 --> 00:16:31,751
Awesome.
352
00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:33,375
How about you?
353
00:16:33,417 --> 00:16:34,918
What's your deal?
354
00:16:34,959 --> 00:16:36,834
Who are you?
355
00:16:36,876 --> 00:16:39,792
Uhh... I'm a physics student.
356
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:40,713
Really?
357
00:16:40,913 --> 00:16:41,792
Yeah.
358
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:42,963
Physics.
359
00:16:43,163 --> 00:16:44,292
Science.
360
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,042
I want to be an astronaut,
361
00:16:46,083 --> 00:16:45,883
but that's
362
00:16:46,083 --> 00:16:47,959
probably a long shot.
363
00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:51,067
I'd be terrified
364
00:16:51,267 --> 00:16:52,167
to go into space.
365
00:16:52,209 --> 00:16:54,709
It's just, to me,
366
00:16:54,751 --> 00:16:58,584
Earth is just this tiny speck
367
00:16:58,584 --> 00:16:58,784
in the universe,
368
00:16:58,984 --> 00:16:58,426
and humans
369
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,500
have only been around
370
00:17:00,542 --> 00:17:01,338
for just a speck
371
00:17:01,538 --> 00:17:02,334
of that timeline.
372
00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:04,459
So, it's just...
373
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:07,042
there has to be more to life
374
00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:07,525
than just this,
375
00:17:07,725 --> 00:17:08,209
don't you think?
376
00:17:11,876 --> 00:17:13,709
Totally.
377
00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:17,500
Totally!
378
00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:21,167
So, Tyler was really cute, huh?
379
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,792
Interesting.
380
00:17:25,792 --> 00:17:25,634
Mm-hm.
381
00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:28,083
It is interesting, isn't it?
382
00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:29,129
Very interesting.
383
00:17:29,329 --> 00:17:30,375
You know why?
384
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,292
Because I love you so much...
385
00:17:34,459 --> 00:17:36,250
and I really feel like
386
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:36,092
we're at a place
387
00:17:36,292 --> 00:17:37,150
in our relationship where
388
00:17:37,350 --> 00:17:38,209
there's more than enough love
389
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,334
to go around,
390
00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:40,175
and I know
391
00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:42,167
that I'm not afraid of that,
392
00:17:42,209 --> 00:17:42,880
and I don't think
393
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:43,751
that you are, either.
394
00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:45,292
Hmm.
395
00:17:45,334 --> 00:17:46,792
Maybe I am afraid.
396
00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,375
Well, you shouldn't be afraid
397
00:17:48,417 --> 00:17:48,217
Why?
398
00:17:48,417 --> 00:17:49,671
because I'm here
399
00:17:49,871 --> 00:17:51,125
to protect you.
400
00:17:58,709 --> 00:18:01,209
Carrot thief.
401
00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:06,292
Here's our very uncool
402
00:18:06,292 --> 00:18:06,492
soccer mom van.
403
00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:11,167
Who are these guys?
404
00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:13,584
July 23rd, 2002...
405
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:14,421
Road trip.
406
00:18:14,621 --> 00:18:15,417
Road Trip.
407
00:18:15,459 --> 00:18:15,259
I'm driving across America
408
00:18:15,459 --> 00:18:18,959
with Bennett and Tyler
409
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,754
for an exciting new project
410
00:18:20,954 --> 00:18:22,709
I'm working on.
411
00:18:22,751 --> 00:18:24,334
I guess both beds are taken.
412
00:18:24,375 --> 00:18:24,175
I don't know
413
00:18:24,375 --> 00:18:26,375
where you're going to sleep.
414
00:18:26,417 --> 00:18:30,751
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
415
00:18:33,375 --> 00:18:33,175
This is the most fun
416
00:18:33,375 --> 00:18:36,292
I've ever had in my whole life.
417
00:18:36,334 --> 00:18:37,588
Really?
418
00:18:37,788 --> 00:18:39,042
No.
419
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:38,883
We are making a documentary
420
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:43,292
about queer youth in America
421
00:18:43,334 --> 00:18:43,134
because discrimination
422
00:18:43,334 --> 00:18:46,542
against L-G-B-T youth
423
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:49,125
must be eliminated.
424
00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:48,967
I just wish people could see
425
00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:53,292
that these kids have faces,
426
00:18:53,334 --> 00:18:53,134
names, and voices
427
00:18:53,334 --> 00:18:57,459
that need to be heard.
428
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:57,300
Growing up in the Church
429
00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:01,375
and realizing that you're gay
430
00:19:01,417 --> 00:19:03,792
is very difficult.
431
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:03,634
You know your family
432
00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:07,584
has never talked about it.
433
00:19:07,626 --> 00:19:07,426
I mean, I'm 13
434
00:19:07,626 --> 00:19:08,921
and it's the first time
435
00:19:09,121 --> 00:19:10,417
I've heard the word.
436
00:19:10,459 --> 00:19:14,417
And, when I heard the word
437
00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:16,108
and knew what it was,
438
00:19:16,308 --> 00:19:17,054
then it was like,
439
00:19:17,254 --> 00:19:18,000
"Hey, I know that.
440
00:19:18,042 --> 00:19:21,292
I understand that.
441
00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:21,134
That's me."
442
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,375
My mom, she's trying.
443
00:19:23,417 --> 00:19:24,108
She's, like, really
444
00:19:24,308 --> 00:19:25,000
in the closet about it.
445
00:19:25,042 --> 00:19:27,083
she won't mention it to anybody
446
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:27,283
or anything like that.
447
00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:28,037
She tries to act
448
00:19:28,237 --> 00:19:28,792
like I'm straight
449
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:29,692
and expects me to act
450
00:19:29,892 --> 00:19:30,751
like I'm straight
451
00:19:30,792 --> 00:19:30,592
along with her,
452
00:19:30,792 --> 00:19:33,125
but I'm not like that.
453
00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:34,088
And this was probably
454
00:19:34,288 --> 00:19:35,209
more overwhelming
455
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:38,292
when I tried to kill myself.
456
00:19:38,334 --> 00:19:41,709
But I felt
457
00:19:41,751 --> 00:19:41,551
so invisible
458
00:19:41,751 --> 00:19:44,542
to everyone around me
459
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,459
who was straight.
460
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:49,959
There are times when I realize
461
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,125
that I'm just as much
462
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:54,046
a creation of God
463
00:19:54,246 --> 00:19:55,125
as everyone else.
464
00:19:58,292 --> 00:20:00,626
Olympia, Washington.
465
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:04,167
This is kind of somber, but...
466
00:20:04,209 --> 00:20:06,918
even though I grew up here,
467
00:20:06,959 --> 00:20:09,876
because both my parents
468
00:20:09,918 --> 00:20:12,167
don't live anymore,
469
00:20:12,209 --> 00:20:14,584
it feels like this place
470
00:20:14,584 --> 00:20:14,426
is a part of a past
471
00:20:14,626 --> 00:20:16,542
that doesn't exist anymore.
472
00:20:16,584 --> 00:20:19,876
And I wasn't gay here.
473
00:20:19,918 --> 00:20:21,125
I mean, you couldn't be.
474
00:20:21,167 --> 00:20:22,667
There was this kid
475
00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:22,509
that everyone
476
00:20:22,709 --> 00:20:22,509
just thought way gay
477
00:20:22,709 --> 00:20:25,542
and he had to leave school
478
00:20:25,584 --> 00:20:28,626
'cause he got picked on
479
00:20:28,626 --> 00:20:28,826
so much.
480
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:38,300
481
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:40,125
What's it like here?
482
00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:42,083
Liberty is Falwell territory,
483
00:20:42,125 --> 00:20:43,879
so, as you can imagine,
484
00:20:44,079 --> 00:20:45,834
it's not very gay friendly.
485
00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:51,417
So, why do you stay?
486
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:55,792
Uh...
487
00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:58,709
Well, I don't know, I, umm...
488
00:20:58,751 --> 00:20:59,546
I didn't come out
489
00:20:59,746 --> 00:21:00,542
to friends and family
490
00:21:00,584 --> 00:21:02,500
until last year,
491
00:21:02,542 --> 00:21:07,125
and I have another year
492
00:21:07,125 --> 00:21:07,754
before I graduate.
493
00:21:07,954 --> 00:21:08,584
I'm a Christian.
494
00:21:08,626 --> 00:21:10,500
So...
495
00:21:10,542 --> 00:21:11,546
Which a lot of people
496
00:21:11,746 --> 00:21:12,751
think is impossible,
497
00:21:12,792 --> 00:21:12,592
but I think
498
00:21:12,792 --> 00:21:14,459
that's just as ridiculous
499
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:17,751
as the anti-gay right, so...
500
00:21:20,042 --> 00:21:23,334
Just a second. Sorry.
501
00:21:23,375 --> 00:21:24,459
Hey, Soph.
502
00:21:29,167 --> 00:21:32,000
We're going to wait with you
503
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,817
until he comes, okay?
504
00:21:34,017 --> 00:21:34,825
Her mother just passed.
505
00:21:35,025 --> 00:21:35,834
Do you mind not filming us?
506
00:21:35,876 --> 00:21:35,676
So awful.
507
00:21:35,876 --> 00:21:39,584
Here, let's pray.
508
00:21:39,626 --> 00:21:42,876
All right, turn it off.
509
00:21:42,918 --> 00:21:45,834
Just give her the strength
510
00:21:45,834 --> 00:21:45,676
to get through
511
00:21:45,876 --> 00:21:47,459
this incredibly difficult time,
512
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:48,792
and we pray
513
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:50,584
that you would just
514
00:21:50,584 --> 00:21:50,426
fill us all
515
00:21:50,626 --> 00:21:51,626
with the compassion to know
516
00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:53,250
what she must be going through
517
00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:54,671
because it would be impossible
518
00:21:54,871 --> 00:21:56,250
for us to fully comprehend.
519
00:21:56,292 --> 00:21:57,838
Just show her yourself,
520
00:21:58,038 --> 00:21:59,584
Father, during this time,
521
00:21:59,626 --> 00:22:01,334
and look to you right now,
522
00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:01,534
Father...
523
00:22:21,709 --> 00:22:23,792
Hey.
524
00:22:23,834 --> 00:22:26,292
Babe?
525
00:22:26,334 --> 00:22:29,083
We gotta go. Gotta be there
526
00:22:29,083 --> 00:22:29,283
at 9:30. You ready?
527
00:22:29,083 --> 00:22:28,925
Yeah.
528
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:28,925
All right.
529
00:22:29,125 --> 00:22:31,334
See you in the car.
530
00:22:35,667 --> 00:22:35,467
531
00:22:35,667 --> 00:22:35,467
I didn't come out
532
00:22:35,667 --> 00:22:37,709
to friends and family
533
00:22:37,751 --> 00:22:39,417
until last year.
534
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:43,083
I'm a Christian, so...
535
00:22:43,125 --> 00:22:42,925
which a lot of people
536
00:22:43,125 --> 00:22:45,334
think is impossible,
537
00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:45,175
but I think that's
538
00:22:45,375 --> 00:22:47,042
just as ridiculous
539
00:22:47,083 --> 00:22:50,083
as the anti-gay right, so...
540
00:22:52,834 --> 00:22:52,634
541
00:22:52,834 --> 00:22:54,584
When I was young,
542
00:22:54,626 --> 00:22:56,380
I didn't know that there were
543
00:22:56,580 --> 00:22:58,334
people like me.
544
00:22:58,375 --> 00:22:58,175
I felt lost,
545
00:22:58,375 --> 00:23:02,334
alone, and confused.
546
00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:03,796
I never even told my mother,
547
00:23:03,996 --> 00:23:05,417
my best friend,
548
00:23:05,459 --> 00:23:05,259
that I was gay,
549
00:23:05,459 --> 00:23:07,584
because I was afraid
550
00:23:07,626 --> 00:23:09,167
she wouldn't accept me.
551
00:23:09,209 --> 00:23:09,009
That's why
552
00:23:09,209 --> 00:23:11,542
we're on this journey,
553
00:23:11,584 --> 00:23:11,384
to let gay kids
554
00:23:11,584 --> 00:23:15,876
know that they are not alone.
555
00:23:15,918 --> 00:23:15,718
And, you know what?
556
00:23:15,918 --> 00:23:18,876
I learned a lot as well
557
00:23:18,918 --> 00:23:18,718
because we met
558
00:23:18,918 --> 00:23:21,834
so many amazing people
559
00:23:21,876 --> 00:23:21,676
who've heard
560
00:23:21,876 --> 00:23:23,918
their parents or pastors
561
00:23:23,959 --> 00:23:25,584
tell them they're wrong,
562
00:23:25,626 --> 00:23:25,426
and yet they've come
563
00:23:25,626 --> 00:23:28,000
to the realization
564
00:23:28,042 --> 00:23:30,709
they're beautiful, blessed,
565
00:23:30,751 --> 00:23:30,551
and that God loves them
566
00:23:30,751 --> 00:23:34,459
just as they are.
567
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:34,300
I mean, people who believe
568
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:38,959
that homosexuality is wrong
569
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:38,800
are going to change
570
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,876
their minds
571
00:23:40,918 --> 00:23:44,250
thanks to this next generation
572
00:23:44,250 --> 00:23:44,450
because...
573
00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:48,050
Look at the sky.
574
00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:50,876
It is fucking beautiful.
575
00:24:54,334 --> 00:24:56,334
What is this, babe?
576
00:24:56,375 --> 00:24:59,167
Huh?
577
00:24:59,209 --> 00:25:01,042
Oh, it's stupid.
578
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:02,626
Somebody gave it to me
579
00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:02,467
on the street.
580
00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:05,876
"Where will we go when we die?"
581
00:25:05,918 --> 00:25:09,209
Baby...
582
00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:09,050
You guys,
583
00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:11,500
where will we go when we die?
584
00:25:11,542 --> 00:25:11,342
In 2012,
585
00:25:11,542 --> 00:25:15,000
the world is supposed to end.
586
00:25:15,042 --> 00:25:16,584
That a real thing?
587
00:25:16,626 --> 00:25:18,500
I hope not.
588
00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:21,083
Everyone knows this.
589
00:25:23,959 --> 00:25:23,759
You know,
590
00:25:23,959 --> 00:25:26,584
the Mayan calendar thing,
591
00:25:26,626 --> 00:25:28,459
that's what they drew,
592
00:25:28,459 --> 00:25:28,300
is the moon,
593
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:29,463
the sun and the moon
594
00:25:29,663 --> 00:25:30,626
is its own thing.
595
00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:25,967
We want to know.
596
00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:29,042
We want to know. Please.
597
00:26:48,459 --> 00:26:52,876
Mike?
598
00:26:52,918 --> 00:26:52,718
You guys go on.
599
00:26:52,918 --> 00:26:54,584
I'll meet you at home.
600
00:26:54,626 --> 00:26:56,709
You okay?
601
00:26:56,751 --> 00:26:57,876
Yeah, I'm fine.
602
00:26:57,918 --> 00:27:00,584
Where are you going?
603
00:27:00,626 --> 00:27:01,792
Michael?
604
00:27:03,959 --> 00:27:05,796
What's that about?
605
00:27:05,996 --> 00:27:06,815
I have absolutely
606
00:27:07,015 --> 00:27:07,834
no earthly idea.
607
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:53,209
Baby.
608
00:27:53,250 --> 00:27:55,751
I was worried about you today.
609
00:27:55,751 --> 00:27:55,951
What's going on?
610
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,918
It's stupid.
611
00:28:04,959 --> 00:28:07,167
Baby, nothing's stupid.
612
00:28:07,167 --> 00:28:07,367
Tell me what.
613
00:28:10,834 --> 00:28:12,083
Do you think...
614
00:28:14,417 --> 00:28:15,792
when we die...
615
00:28:17,375 --> 00:28:17,175
we just disappear
616
00:28:17,375 --> 00:28:20,375
like we never existed?
617
00:28:25,125 --> 00:28:28,667
No, I don't think that
618
00:28:28,709 --> 00:28:28,509
because I know
619
00:28:28,709 --> 00:28:33,459
that we'll always be together.
620
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:36,375
Baby.
621
00:28:42,542 --> 00:28:44,667
Baby.
622
00:28:44,709 --> 00:28:46,375
Baby, you okay?
623
00:28:53,626 --> 00:28:56,083
♪♪
624
00:29:04,834 --> 00:29:07,334
Let's pray for her.
625
00:29:07,334 --> 00:29:07,534
Let's pray.
626
00:29:20,083 --> 00:29:23,918
Bennett!
627
00:29:28,667 --> 00:29:30,834
I'm really light-headed.
628
00:29:30,834 --> 00:29:30,676
It's okay.
629
00:29:30,876 --> 00:29:33,417
It's okay, we're almost there.
630
00:29:48,042 --> 00:29:50,292
Okay.
631
00:29:50,334 --> 00:29:50,134
Your heart rate
632
00:29:50,334 --> 00:29:54,083
seems to have returned
633
00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:53,925
back to normal.
634
00:29:54,125 --> 00:29:56,083
Can you check again?
635
00:29:56,125 --> 00:29:57,876
Just because your father
636
00:29:57,876 --> 00:29:58,525
had H-C-M
637
00:29:58,725 --> 00:29:58,950
does not mean
638
00:29:59,150 --> 00:29:59,375
that you have it.
639
00:29:59,417 --> 00:29:59,217
We followed
640
00:29:59,417 --> 00:30:01,792
our chest pain protocol,
641
00:30:01,834 --> 00:30:04,000
and there's nothing abnormal.
642
00:30:04,042 --> 00:30:06,751
You had a panic attack. Okay?
643
00:30:09,542 --> 00:30:11,209
Where's Bennett?
644
00:30:11,250 --> 00:30:13,042
He's in the lobby.
645
00:30:13,083 --> 00:30:16,500
As soon as you're checked out,
646
00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:16,700
you can see him.
647
00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:18,391
All right.
648
00:30:18,591 --> 00:30:20,083
Thank you.
649
00:30:24,375 --> 00:30:25,959
I was 13 years old,
650
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:25,800
walking along the beach
651
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,375
with my father
652
00:30:28,417 --> 00:30:29,275
when he suddenly collapsed
653
00:30:29,475 --> 00:30:30,334
and died
654
00:30:30,375 --> 00:30:30,175
from an unexpected
655
00:30:30,375 --> 00:30:33,250
heart condition.
656
00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:38,167
If I've inherited his disease,
657
00:30:38,209 --> 00:30:38,009
the same thing
658
00:30:38,209 --> 00:30:42,042
could happen to me.
659
00:30:42,083 --> 00:30:44,167
What's wrong, baby?
660
00:30:44,209 --> 00:30:46,125
It's happening again.
661
00:30:46,167 --> 00:30:45,967
I can feel it.
662
00:30:46,167 --> 00:30:48,751
Baby, the test confirmed...
663
00:30:48,792 --> 00:30:50,375
They don't know.
664
00:30:50,417 --> 00:30:51,918
They don't care.
665
00:30:53,709 --> 00:30:53,509
Now I'm having
666
00:30:53,709 --> 00:30:55,709
heart palpitations
667
00:30:55,751 --> 00:30:58,167
all the time,
668
00:30:58,209 --> 00:30:58,009
and, contrary to what
669
00:30:58,209 --> 00:31:00,667
the doctors keep saying,
670
00:31:00,709 --> 00:31:00,509
I just know
671
00:31:00,709 --> 00:31:02,500
they aren't panic attacks.
672
00:31:04,834 --> 00:31:04,634
After months of fighting
673
00:31:04,834 --> 00:31:06,876
with my insurance,
674
00:31:06,918 --> 00:31:06,718
I was finally allowed
675
00:31:06,918 --> 00:31:09,209
to see a specialist
676
00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:10,212
who could definitely test
677
00:31:10,412 --> 00:31:11,375
whether or not
678
00:31:11,417 --> 00:31:11,217
I inherited
679
00:31:11,417 --> 00:31:14,667
my father's condition.
680
00:31:14,709 --> 00:31:14,509
Now, I have to wait
681
00:31:14,709 --> 00:31:18,042
for the results.
682
00:31:18,083 --> 00:31:19,959
Michael, just come here.
683
00:31:19,959 --> 00:31:20,525
Calm down.
684
00:31:20,725 --> 00:31:21,292
Calm down!
685
00:31:21,334 --> 00:31:21,134
Do you know
686
00:31:21,334 --> 00:31:22,876
what this disease means?
687
00:31:22,918 --> 00:31:22,718
It means I could die
688
00:31:22,918 --> 00:31:26,000
any minute, just drop dead.
689
00:31:26,042 --> 00:31:28,918
You calm down.
690
00:34:01,209 --> 00:34:05,667
♪♪
691
00:34:06,834 --> 00:34:09,459
Doctor Williams? Hi.
692
00:34:32,083 --> 00:34:33,918
Thank you, God.
693
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,083
Thank you, God.
694
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:43,300
The test confirmed
695
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:46,542
that I did not inherit
696
00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:49,125
my father's heart condition.
697
00:34:49,167 --> 00:34:48,967
Although it's a massive
698
00:34:49,167 --> 00:34:51,918
sigh of relief,
699
00:34:51,959 --> 00:34:55,000
I keep thinking to myself,
700
00:34:55,042 --> 00:34:54,842
if I was really
701
00:34:55,042 --> 00:34:57,876
just having panic attacks,
702
00:34:57,918 --> 00:35:00,292
then what's wrong with me?
703
00:35:00,334 --> 00:35:02,209
What am I afraid of?
704
00:35:07,876 --> 00:35:07,676
All I know is that, when faced
705
00:35:07,876 --> 00:35:10,876
with your own death,
706
00:35:10,918 --> 00:35:10,718
it reminds you
707
00:35:10,918 --> 00:35:13,792
of what's important in life,
708
00:35:13,834 --> 00:35:13,634
and, for me,
709
00:35:13,834 --> 00:35:17,542
that's helping other people.
710
00:35:20,292 --> 00:35:20,092
So I've decided
711
00:35:20,292 --> 00:35:23,584
to start my own magazine.
712
00:35:23,626 --> 00:35:26,459
I'm calling it YGA,
713
00:35:26,500 --> 00:35:28,334
Young Gay Americans.
714
00:35:28,375 --> 00:35:30,083
It's gonna be the biggest
715
00:35:30,125 --> 00:35:29,925
and most sophisticated
716
00:35:30,125 --> 00:35:32,459
magazine aimed
717
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:32,300
at improving the lives
718
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:37,334
of L-G-B-T youth.
719
00:36:52,125 --> 00:36:56,167
What is this? What is this?
720
00:36:56,209 --> 00:37:00,250
Oh, my Go...
721
00:37:00,250 --> 00:37:00,092
Hi.
722
00:37:00,292 --> 00:37:00,092
You didn't.
723
00:37:00,292 --> 00:37:04,209
I knew you wanted one, baby.
724
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:19,375
What are we going to call you?
725
00:37:19,417 --> 00:37:23,334
Ollie. Ollie, heel.
726
00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:23,175
I've been thinking
727
00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:26,834
about the next issue of YGA,
728
00:37:26,876 --> 00:37:28,088
and I think we need to address
729
00:37:28,288 --> 00:37:29,500
this whole Christianity thing.
730
00:37:29,542 --> 00:37:31,167
What do you mean?
731
00:37:31,209 --> 00:37:31,009
People think that gays
732
00:37:31,209 --> 00:37:34,834
and Christians are enemies.
733
00:37:34,876 --> 00:37:36,109
We've met so many people
734
00:37:36,309 --> 00:37:37,542
who've managed to balance
735
00:37:37,584 --> 00:37:37,384
their faith
736
00:37:37,584 --> 00:37:40,083
and their sexuality.
737
00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:40,817
But we've also met
738
00:37:41,017 --> 00:37:41,709
so many people
739
00:37:41,751 --> 00:37:43,959
whose parents and churches
740
00:37:43,959 --> 00:37:43,800
tell them
741
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,918
they're going to burn
742
00:37:45,918 --> 00:37:45,818
in hell.
743
00:37:45,918 --> 00:37:45,759
Yeah,
744
00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:45,759
which is why
745
00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:47,463
we should address it
746
00:37:47,663 --> 00:37:49,167
in the magazine.
747
00:37:49,209 --> 00:37:50,650
The whole, "You're gay,
748
00:37:50,850 --> 00:37:52,292
you're going to hell" myth
749
00:37:52,334 --> 00:37:55,751
was started by mistranslations
750
00:37:55,751 --> 00:37:55,951
and misinterpretations
751
00:37:56,151 --> 00:37:58,000
of the Bible.
752
00:37:58,042 --> 00:37:57,842
God doesn't care what
753
00:37:58,042 --> 00:38:01,417
your sexual orientation is.
754
00:38:01,459 --> 00:38:03,150
And the one thing
755
00:38:03,350 --> 00:38:05,042
that the gay movement
756
00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:04,883
doesn't understand
757
00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:07,584
that I think Christianity does
758
00:38:07,626 --> 00:38:09,834
is that...
759
00:38:09,876 --> 00:38:11,255
not everyone wants to be
760
00:38:11,455 --> 00:38:12,834
a part of the sub culture.
761
00:38:14,459 --> 00:38:17,375
I'm sorry, what did you do
762
00:38:17,375 --> 00:38:17,575
with my boyfriend?
763
00:38:17,775 --> 00:38:17,217
Shut up.
764
00:38:17,417 --> 00:38:20,876
I'm not going to write,
765
00:38:20,876 --> 00:38:21,076
like...
766
00:38:23,459 --> 00:38:26,125
Gospel according to Michael
767
00:38:26,125 --> 00:38:26,325
or something.
768
00:38:30,209 --> 00:38:30,009
It might seem strange
769
00:38:30,209 --> 00:38:33,459
for a gay youth magazine
770
00:38:33,500 --> 00:38:35,046
to dedicate an entire issue
771
00:38:35,246 --> 00:38:36,792
to religion,
772
00:38:36,834 --> 00:38:38,879
but it's too important
773
00:38:39,079 --> 00:38:41,125
to ignore.
774
00:38:41,167 --> 00:38:40,967
When my parents died,
775
00:38:41,167 --> 00:38:44,459
I blamed God.
776
00:38:44,500 --> 00:38:46,167
When I came out,
777
00:38:46,209 --> 00:38:46,009
I distanced myself
778
00:38:46,209 --> 00:38:50,292
even further from religion.
779
00:38:50,334 --> 00:38:50,134
You see,
780
00:38:50,334 --> 00:38:53,292
I thought I was too smart
781
00:38:53,334 --> 00:38:55,125
to believe in God,
782
00:38:55,167 --> 00:38:54,967
that He
783
00:38:55,167 --> 00:38:58,417
was only for the needy.
784
00:38:58,459 --> 00:38:58,259
But, after
785
00:38:58,459 --> 00:39:01,125
a recent health scare,
786
00:39:01,167 --> 00:39:00,967
I felt this nudging
787
00:39:01,167 --> 00:39:05,459
in the back of my mind...
788
00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:08,792
the presence of God.
789
00:39:08,834 --> 00:39:10,417
And, you know what?
790
00:39:10,459 --> 00:39:15,250
I was no longer afraid.
791
00:39:15,292 --> 00:39:15,092
Some religious figures
792
00:39:15,292 --> 00:39:18,292
spout hateful rhetoric
793
00:39:18,334 --> 00:39:18,134
and try to force
794
00:39:18,334 --> 00:39:22,042
a monopoly on the truth.
795
00:39:22,083 --> 00:39:25,334
But the only truth is love.
796
00:39:25,375 --> 00:39:29,751
The only sin is denying love.
797
00:39:29,792 --> 00:39:32,083
Stop hating.
798
00:39:32,125 --> 00:39:34,709
Start loving.
799
00:39:44,459 --> 00:39:46,417
You gonna join us?
800
00:39:46,459 --> 00:39:46,259
Uh, yeah.
801
00:39:46,459 --> 00:39:49,125
Just one second.
802
00:39:54,292 --> 00:39:56,709
What?
803
00:39:56,751 --> 00:39:56,551
Uh, you're really
804
00:39:56,751 --> 00:39:58,959
combing through that thing,
805
00:39:58,959 --> 00:39:59,159
aren't you?
806
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,667
Look, my whole life,
807
00:40:01,709 --> 00:40:02,609
I thought the Bible
808
00:40:02,809 --> 00:40:03,709
was full of hate,
809
00:40:03,751 --> 00:40:06,125
and it's not.
810
00:40:06,167 --> 00:40:07,296
There's a lot
811
00:40:07,496 --> 00:40:08,626
of love in here.
812
00:40:08,667 --> 00:40:10,692
So, your interest in the Bible
813
00:40:10,892 --> 00:40:12,918
is more than just research?
814
00:40:12,959 --> 00:40:14,650
Well, there's a lot
815
00:40:14,850 --> 00:40:15,596
of Christian roots
816
00:40:15,796 --> 00:40:16,542
in my family...
817
00:40:16,584 --> 00:40:18,876
my mom, my aunts, and...
818
00:40:18,918 --> 00:40:20,876
Just curious.
819
00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:24,042
Your aunts disowned you
820
00:40:24,042 --> 00:40:24,671
when you came out.
821
00:40:24,871 --> 00:40:25,500
That's not family.
822
00:40:25,542 --> 00:40:25,342
I'm all
823
00:40:25,542 --> 00:40:27,500
for curiosity, but...
824
00:40:27,542 --> 00:40:27,342
Look, I just feel
825
00:40:27,542 --> 00:40:31,417
like something saved me,
826
00:40:31,459 --> 00:40:31,259
shook me,
827
00:40:31,459 --> 00:40:33,709
and woke me up.
828
00:40:35,209 --> 00:40:37,918
And that someone is God?
829
00:40:40,209 --> 00:40:42,792
Mike, He didn't save you,
830
00:40:42,834 --> 00:40:42,634
because you
831
00:40:42,834 --> 00:40:45,042
were never dying.
832
00:40:47,959 --> 00:40:49,792
Okay.
833
00:40:53,334 --> 00:40:55,375
"Whoever finds their life
834
00:40:55,375 --> 00:40:55,217
will lose it,
835
00:40:55,417 --> 00:40:57,067
and whoever loses their life
836
00:40:57,267 --> 00:40:58,918
for my sake will find it."
837
00:41:01,751 --> 00:41:05,584
"Whoever finds their life
838
00:41:05,584 --> 00:41:05,426
will lose it,
839
00:41:05,626 --> 00:41:07,984
and whoever loses their life
840
00:41:08,184 --> 00:41:10,542
for my sake will find it."
841
00:41:10,584 --> 00:41:10,384
"Whoever finds
842
00:41:10,584 --> 00:41:12,959
their life will lose it,
843
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,796
and whoever loses their life
844
00:41:14,996 --> 00:41:16,792
for my sake will find it."
845
00:41:23,584 --> 00:41:23,384
Don't see many people
846
00:41:23,584 --> 00:41:25,959
flaunting that out in the open.
847
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,334
Oh...
848
00:41:28,375 --> 00:41:28,175
I've seen you
849
00:41:28,375 --> 00:41:30,542
reading out here before,
850
00:41:30,584 --> 00:41:30,384
and I thought maybe
851
00:41:30,584 --> 00:41:33,751
you'd wanna come to my church.
852
00:41:33,792 --> 00:41:35,834
Any Sunday.
853
00:41:35,876 --> 00:41:38,167
Just to check it out.
854
00:41:38,209 --> 00:41:42,334
See what the Mormon religion
855
00:41:42,334 --> 00:41:42,175
has to offer.
856
00:41:42,375 --> 00:41:44,959
The Gospel teaches us
857
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:44,800
that we are
858
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,083
the spirit children
859
00:41:48,125 --> 00:41:50,125
of heavenly parents.
860
00:41:50,167 --> 00:41:53,167
Now, many people ask,
861
00:41:53,209 --> 00:41:53,009
are we like
862
00:41:53,209 --> 00:41:56,584
other Christians?
863
00:41:56,626 --> 00:41:58,584
Why, of course we are.
864
00:41:58,626 --> 00:41:58,426
We believe
865
00:41:58,626 --> 00:42:01,000
in Jesus Christ,
866
00:42:01,042 --> 00:42:00,842
and we believe
867
00:42:01,042 --> 00:42:04,083
in life after death.
868
00:42:04,125 --> 00:42:09,542
And everyone is welcome
869
00:42:09,542 --> 00:42:11,317
at the LDS church.
870
00:42:11,517 --> 00:42:12,304
Christ's atonement
871
00:42:12,504 --> 00:42:09,384
allows mankind
872
00:42:09,584 --> 00:42:13,292
to be safe from their sins,
873
00:42:13,334 --> 00:42:15,171
and to return to live with God
874
00:42:15,371 --> 00:42:17,209
and their loved ones in heaven.
875
00:42:17,250 --> 00:42:18,712
Uh, did you grow up
876
00:42:18,912 --> 00:42:20,375
with any kind of faith?
877
00:42:20,417 --> 00:42:20,217
Not really.
878
00:42:20,417 --> 00:42:23,250
My mother was Christian,
879
00:42:23,292 --> 00:42:24,796
but she didn't really take
880
00:42:24,996 --> 00:42:26,500
me or my sister to church.
881
00:42:26,542 --> 00:42:26,342
And my father
882
00:42:26,542 --> 00:42:29,584
was a Berkeley hippie
883
00:42:29,626 --> 00:42:31,130
kind of agnostic
884
00:42:31,330 --> 00:42:32,834
or even atheist.
885
00:42:32,876 --> 00:42:32,676
They were
886
00:42:32,876 --> 00:42:34,834
very good people,
887
00:42:34,876 --> 00:42:39,667
and I know I'll see them
888
00:42:39,667 --> 00:42:40,796
again in heaven.
889
00:42:40,996 --> 00:42:42,125
My mom passed away
890
00:42:42,125 --> 00:42:42,900
as well,
891
00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:41,967
so I know
892
00:42:42,167 --> 00:42:43,876
how hard that is.
893
00:42:43,918 --> 00:42:43,718
I was...
894
00:42:43,918 --> 00:42:46,334
I was so afraid,
895
00:42:46,375 --> 00:42:48,584
and angry, you know?
896
00:42:48,626 --> 00:42:50,626
Yeah, me too.
897
00:42:50,667 --> 00:42:51,609
Um, it's really hard
898
00:42:51,809 --> 00:42:52,751
to deal with death
899
00:42:52,792 --> 00:42:54,337
when you don't know
900
00:42:54,537 --> 00:42:56,083
where you're going.
901
00:42:56,125 --> 00:42:57,504
But once you do,
902
00:42:57,704 --> 00:42:59,083
then you have peace,
903
00:42:59,125 --> 00:42:58,925
and you realize
904
00:42:59,125 --> 00:43:02,375
that God's not to blame.
905
00:43:02,417 --> 00:43:03,275
Right.
906
00:43:03,475 --> 00:43:04,334
Yeah.
907
00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:08,334
Katherine.
908
00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:10,959
Nice to meet you.
909
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,667
You too.
910
00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:17,959
She's single, FYI.
911
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,292
FY...
912
00:43:20,334 --> 00:43:21,129
What, you think
913
00:43:21,329 --> 00:43:22,125
she likes me?
914
00:43:22,167 --> 00:43:21,967
Yeah. Yeah.
915
00:43:22,167 --> 00:43:24,792
It seemed like it.
916
00:43:24,834 --> 00:43:26,046
But don't worry.
917
00:43:26,246 --> 00:43:26,752
There's plenty
918
00:43:26,952 --> 00:43:27,459
of single ladies
919
00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:30,417
looking for a husband.
920
00:43:30,417 --> 00:43:30,259
Oh...
921
00:43:30,459 --> 00:43:32,359
I wasn't even thinking
922
00:43:32,559 --> 00:43:34,459
about that kind of thing.
923
00:43:34,500 --> 00:43:36,004
Oh, well, maybe it's
924
00:43:36,204 --> 00:43:36,856
something you should
925
00:43:37,056 --> 00:43:37,709
start thinking about.
926
00:43:37,751 --> 00:43:39,025
I can get you in touch
927
00:43:39,225 --> 00:43:40,500
with her if you want.
928
00:43:41,792 --> 00:43:43,584
Oh, um...
929
00:43:43,626 --> 00:43:45,876
If you're interested.
930
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,667
Sure. Um, I don't know.
931
00:43:49,667 --> 00:43:49,509
Yeah?
932
00:43:49,709 --> 00:43:50,671
Okay. Whatever.
933
00:43:50,871 --> 00:43:51,834
Yeah. Okay.
934
00:43:51,876 --> 00:43:52,671
All right.
935
00:43:52,871 --> 00:43:53,667
Okay. Thanks.
936
00:43:53,709 --> 00:43:54,525
Embarrassing me
937
00:43:54,725 --> 00:43:55,542
a little bit.
938
00:44:12,083 --> 00:44:14,792
♪♪
939
00:44:21,209 --> 00:44:21,009
940
00:44:21,209 --> 00:44:21,009
Welcome back
941
00:44:21,209 --> 00:44:23,167
to New Beginnings,
942
00:44:23,209 --> 00:44:23,009
and thank you for listening
943
00:44:23,209 --> 00:44:25,792
to our continued conversation
944
00:44:25,834 --> 00:44:25,634
about the true path
945
00:44:25,834 --> 00:44:28,209
to heaven.
946
00:44:28,250 --> 00:44:28,050
Dr. Nikolosa, how would you
947
00:44:28,250 --> 00:44:31,542
respond to other Christians
948
00:44:31,584 --> 00:44:31,384
who disagree
949
00:44:31,584 --> 00:44:33,792
with your angle?
950
00:44:33,834 --> 00:44:33,634
951
00:44:33,834 --> 00:44:35,400
Look, all I'm trying to do
952
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,167
is help people.
953
00:44:37,209 --> 00:44:39,209
It just pains me so much
954
00:44:39,250 --> 00:44:39,050
when I hear
955
00:44:39,250 --> 00:44:39,050
so-called Christians
956
00:44:39,250 --> 00:44:41,626
side with the left
957
00:44:41,667 --> 00:44:41,467
on issues
958
00:44:41,667 --> 00:44:44,000
such as homosexuality.
959
00:44:44,042 --> 00:44:43,842
Now, I'm not
960
00:44:44,042 --> 00:44:46,792
condoning hate.
961
00:44:46,834 --> 00:44:46,634
In fact,
962
00:44:46,834 --> 00:44:49,626
this is about love.
963
00:44:49,667 --> 00:44:49,467
Choosing a gay identity
964
00:44:49,667 --> 00:44:51,834
will condemn you
965
00:44:51,876 --> 00:44:51,676
to an eternity
966
00:44:51,876 --> 00:44:53,834
of suffering,
967
00:44:53,876 --> 00:44:55,192
and I wanna save people
968
00:44:55,392 --> 00:44:56,709
from that.
969
00:44:56,751 --> 00:44:56,551
Whether it's abortion
970
00:44:56,751 --> 00:44:59,292
or adultery
971
00:44:59,334 --> 00:44:59,134
or accepting religions
972
00:44:59,334 --> 00:45:02,667
other than Christianity,
973
00:45:02,709 --> 00:45:04,959
you must obey God's law,
974
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:04,800
or you will not be allowed
975
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,709
into His kingdom.
976
00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:12,709
♪♪
977
00:45:34,500 --> 00:45:37,167
♪♪
978
00:45:47,709 --> 00:45:48,588
I'm not saying
979
00:45:48,788 --> 00:45:49,667
that it's...
980
00:45:49,709 --> 00:45:51,751
I'm not saying that it's wrong,
981
00:45:51,751 --> 00:45:51,951
I'm just saying that
982
00:45:52,151 --> 00:45:51,592
over the course
983
00:45:51,792 --> 00:45:53,834
of thousands of years,
984
00:45:53,876 --> 00:45:55,609
people with an agenda
985
00:45:55,809 --> 00:45:57,542
have made Christianity
986
00:45:57,542 --> 00:45:57,384
what it is today.
987
00:45:57,584 --> 00:46:00,709
Yeah, but the original message
988
00:46:00,709 --> 00:46:01,630
is still the same.
989
00:46:01,830 --> 00:46:02,751
It's about love.
990
00:46:05,125 --> 00:46:04,925
You know, I would've
991
00:46:05,125 --> 00:46:08,083
never pegged you as a Buddhist.
992
00:46:08,125 --> 00:46:11,459
Why? 'Cause I don't look
993
00:46:11,459 --> 00:46:11,659
a certain way?
994
00:46:11,859 --> 00:46:13,709
No, I...
995
00:46:13,751 --> 00:46:15,442
I don't know why
996
00:46:15,642 --> 00:46:16,388
I just said that.
997
00:46:16,588 --> 00:46:17,334
I'm just kidding you.
998
00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:17,175
Meditation...
999
00:46:17,375 --> 00:46:20,542
People get weird in their head
1000
00:46:20,542 --> 00:46:21,463
about meditation.
1001
00:46:21,663 --> 00:46:22,584
They think it's weird
1002
00:46:22,584 --> 00:46:22,426
or hippie...
1003
00:46:22,626 --> 00:46:22,426
I think it's about
1004
00:46:22,626 --> 00:46:26,667
developing mindfulness,
1005
00:46:26,667 --> 00:46:26,509
you know?
1006
00:46:26,709 --> 00:46:27,588
It's about living
1007
00:46:27,788 --> 00:46:28,667
moment to moment.
1008
00:46:28,709 --> 00:46:28,509
And at a deeper level,
1009
00:46:28,709 --> 00:46:32,667
it's about knowing yourself.
1010
00:46:32,709 --> 00:46:32,509
That's why
1011
00:46:32,709 --> 00:46:34,317
I started volunteering
1012
00:46:34,517 --> 00:46:36,125
at the Buddhist Center.
1013
00:46:36,167 --> 00:46:38,792
They have classes on Friday.
1014
00:46:38,792 --> 00:46:38,634
You should come.
1015
00:46:38,834 --> 00:46:40,817
I have to go out of town
1016
00:46:41,017 --> 00:46:43,000
for this speaking thing.
1017
00:46:43,042 --> 00:46:42,842
What kind
1018
00:46:43,042 --> 00:46:45,375
of speaking thing?
1019
00:46:45,417 --> 00:46:48,167
It's about gay youth
1020
00:46:48,167 --> 00:46:49,088
in America.
1021
00:46:49,288 --> 00:46:48,009
No way.
1022
00:46:48,209 --> 00:46:50,209
That's awesome.
1023
00:47:16,417 --> 00:47:18,167
1024
00:47:31,334 --> 00:47:33,417
Welcome to our very first panel
1025
00:47:33,459 --> 00:47:35,417
on being young and gay
1026
00:47:35,417 --> 00:47:35,259
in America.
1027
00:47:35,459 --> 00:47:38,083
Joining us is Judy Shepard,
1028
00:47:38,125 --> 00:47:37,925
president of
1029
00:47:38,125 --> 00:47:40,709
the Matthew Shepard Foundation,
1030
00:47:40,751 --> 00:47:43,292
dedicated to working
1031
00:47:43,292 --> 00:47:43,134
towards causes
1032
00:47:43,334 --> 00:47:44,588
championed by her son,
1033
00:47:44,788 --> 00:47:46,042
Matthew, during his life.
1034
00:47:46,083 --> 00:47:48,083
Thank you for joining us.
1035
00:47:53,125 --> 00:47:52,925
Michael Glatze,
1036
00:47:53,125 --> 00:47:56,751
former editor of XY magazine,
1037
00:47:56,792 --> 00:47:58,900
recipient of Equality Forum's
1038
00:47:59,100 --> 00:48:01,209
National Role Model Award
1039
00:48:01,250 --> 00:48:01,050
as well as
1040
00:48:01,250 --> 00:48:03,542
a LAMBDA's Literary Award
1041
00:48:03,584 --> 00:48:05,542
for XY's Survival Guide,
1042
00:48:05,584 --> 00:48:05,384
participant in the award-winning
1043
00:48:05,584 --> 00:48:09,667
documentary Jim in Bold,
1044
00:48:09,709 --> 00:48:09,509
and cofounder
1045
00:48:09,709 --> 00:48:12,000
of Young Gay Americans,
1046
00:48:12,042 --> 00:48:11,842
which is now
1047
00:48:12,042 --> 00:48:14,000
a full-fledged magazine.
1048
00:48:20,792 --> 00:48:24,626
What does being gay
1049
00:48:24,626 --> 00:48:24,467
mean to you?
1050
00:48:24,667 --> 00:48:24,467
Gay doesn't mean the same thing
1051
00:48:24,667 --> 00:48:29,542
that it meant 20 years ago.
1052
00:48:29,584 --> 00:48:29,384
And it's more important
1053
00:48:29,584 --> 00:48:32,918
now than ever
1054
00:48:32,959 --> 00:48:32,759
to make allies and,
1055
00:48:32,959 --> 00:48:36,459
uh, make alliances
1056
00:48:36,500 --> 00:48:36,300
both inside and outside
1057
00:48:36,500 --> 00:48:40,209
the gay community.
1058
00:48:44,417 --> 00:48:44,217
Gay doesn't mean
1059
00:48:44,417 --> 00:48:47,000
the same thing
1060
00:48:47,042 --> 00:48:49,334
that it meant 20 years ago.
1061
00:48:49,375 --> 00:48:51,334
It's not about...
1062
00:49:25,626 --> 00:49:27,626
Baby...
1063
00:49:29,042 --> 00:49:31,042
No.
1064
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,125
I have to walk the dog.
1065
00:50:12,959 --> 00:50:14,584
Hey.
1066
00:50:18,542 --> 00:50:20,876
What are you doing?
1067
00:50:21,918 --> 00:50:24,417
I need some space.
1068
00:50:25,792 --> 00:50:25,592
Mike...
1069
00:50:25,792 --> 00:50:27,751
Look, I just...
1070
00:50:27,792 --> 00:50:29,734
I need some time
1071
00:50:29,934 --> 00:50:27,592
to figure this out,
1072
00:50:27,792 --> 00:50:31,876
to see where this is taking me.
1073
00:50:33,584 --> 00:50:34,713
Why can't you come
1074
00:50:34,913 --> 00:50:36,042
to me for help?
1075
00:50:36,083 --> 00:50:36,962
We have to talk
1076
00:50:37,162 --> 00:50:38,042
about this before...
1077
00:50:38,083 --> 00:50:40,042
Look, I just...
1078
00:50:40,083 --> 00:50:40,983
I need to get away
1079
00:50:41,183 --> 00:50:42,083
from this life.
1080
00:50:43,459 --> 00:50:46,083
Our life?
1081
00:50:46,083 --> 00:50:45,925
Yes.
1082
00:50:46,125 --> 00:50:47,817
What exactly is it
1083
00:50:48,017 --> 00:50:45,925
about our life
1084
00:50:46,125 --> 00:50:49,709
that you need to get away from?
1085
00:50:49,751 --> 00:50:50,484
Being gay?
1086
00:50:50,684 --> 00:50:51,417
I don't know.
1087
00:50:51,459 --> 00:50:52,775
I don't know!
1088
00:50:52,975 --> 00:50:54,292
Okay, uh...
1089
00:50:54,334 --> 00:50:56,083
Are you attracted to women?
1090
00:50:58,209 --> 00:50:59,317
Because if that's the case,
1091
00:50:59,517 --> 00:51:00,626
then fine. Go explore...
1092
00:51:00,667 --> 00:51:02,254
I just wanna be with
1093
00:51:02,454 --> 00:51:00,467
my parents in heaven.
1094
00:51:00,667 --> 00:51:04,042
Is that so hard to understand?
1095
00:51:04,083 --> 00:51:06,042
Can you even hear yourself
1096
00:51:06,042 --> 00:51:07,129
right now?
1097
00:51:07,329 --> 00:51:05,883
What happened
1098
00:51:06,083 --> 00:51:08,417
to the misinterpretation
1099
00:51:08,417 --> 00:51:08,259
of the Bible?
1100
00:51:08,459 --> 00:51:10,209
It's a fucking book, Mike!
1101
00:51:10,250 --> 00:51:12,542
I read the Bible the same way
1102
00:51:12,542 --> 00:51:12,742
I read anything else...
1103
00:51:12,942 --> 00:51:13,392
with an open mind
1104
00:51:13,592 --> 00:51:14,042
and an open heart.
1105
00:51:14,083 --> 00:51:13,883
Oh, is that
1106
00:51:14,083 --> 00:51:15,918
what you call this?
1107
00:51:15,959 --> 00:51:17,959
'Cause the way you're talking
1108
00:51:17,959 --> 00:51:19,088
doesn't exactly sound
1109
00:51:19,288 --> 00:51:20,417
very fucking open-minded.
1110
00:51:20,459 --> 00:51:22,417
This relationship is just...
1111
00:51:22,459 --> 00:51:22,259
It's developed
1112
00:51:22,459 --> 00:51:24,584
into something unhealthy.
1113
00:51:24,626 --> 00:51:28,000
What does that even mean?
1114
00:51:28,042 --> 00:51:30,000
Tyler?
1115
00:51:30,042 --> 00:51:32,584
You were just as interested
1116
00:51:32,584 --> 00:51:33,630
in that as I was.
1117
00:51:33,830 --> 00:51:34,876
No. I just wanted you
1118
00:51:34,876 --> 00:51:34,718
to be happy
1119
00:51:34,918 --> 00:51:35,734
because I was afraid
1120
00:51:35,934 --> 00:51:36,751
you were gonna leave.
1121
00:51:36,792 --> 00:51:36,592
I was never
1122
00:51:36,792 --> 00:51:38,317
gonna leave, Mike.
1123
00:51:38,517 --> 00:51:40,042
I've stood by you.
1124
00:51:40,083 --> 00:51:42,459
I've held your hand
1125
00:51:42,459 --> 00:51:39,883
while you were
1126
00:51:40,083 --> 00:51:42,459
so terrified of dying
1127
00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:44,275
that you created illnesses
1128
00:51:44,475 --> 00:51:46,250
that didn't even exist.
1129
00:51:46,292 --> 00:51:47,608
The truth is that
1130
00:51:47,808 --> 00:51:49,125
I was living a lie.
1131
00:51:49,167 --> 00:51:50,546
The truth is that
1132
00:51:50,746 --> 00:51:52,125
God loves us...
1133
00:51:52,167 --> 00:51:54,375
Shut the fuck up!
1134
00:51:58,792 --> 00:52:00,375
Okay.
1135
00:52:00,417 --> 00:52:02,042
Wait.
1136
00:52:09,959 --> 00:52:12,292
Please don't go.
1137
00:52:17,542 --> 00:52:19,918
Where are you going?
1138
00:52:27,709 --> 00:52:27,509
The thing that
1139
00:52:27,709 --> 00:52:30,709
will really kill you...
1140
00:52:32,876 --> 00:52:32,676
is repressing
1141
00:52:32,876 --> 00:52:35,918
who you truly are.
1142
00:52:37,459 --> 00:52:38,754
That's what you should
1143
00:52:38,954 --> 00:52:40,250
really be afraid of.
1144
00:53:49,876 --> 00:53:53,125
So, he just left this here
1145
00:53:53,125 --> 00:53:53,325
out in the open?
1146
00:54:41,250 --> 00:54:41,050
1147
00:54:41,250 --> 00:54:43,209
I have come to a decision
1148
00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:45,042
that will be shocking
1149
00:54:45,083 --> 00:54:44,883
to anyone
1150
00:54:45,083 --> 00:54:47,334
I used to relate to.
1151
00:54:49,834 --> 00:54:49,634
The presence of God
1152
00:54:49,834 --> 00:54:54,000
has grown strong in my life.
1153
00:54:54,042 --> 00:54:53,842
He told me
1154
00:54:54,042 --> 00:54:57,542
that my panic attacks
1155
00:54:57,584 --> 00:55:00,083
were caused by my shallow,
1156
00:55:00,125 --> 00:55:03,459
sinful lifestyle.
1157
00:55:03,500 --> 00:55:06,042
I've come to the realization
1158
00:55:06,083 --> 00:55:08,959
that identifying as gay
1159
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:08,800
prevents you from finding
1160
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:12,918
your true self within.
1161
00:55:12,959 --> 00:55:15,250
And we must be our true selves
1162
00:55:15,292 --> 00:55:15,092
in order to join God
1163
00:55:15,292 --> 00:55:19,334
in His kingdom.
1164
00:55:19,375 --> 00:55:23,292
Therefore, I, Michael Glatze,
1165
00:55:23,334 --> 00:55:25,709
no longer identify as gay.
1166
00:56:54,167 --> 00:56:55,542
1167
00:56:59,834 --> 00:57:01,834
1168
00:57:39,709 --> 00:57:41,709
Why did you do it?
1169
00:57:45,417 --> 00:57:48,459
Gay activist goes straight?
1170
00:57:48,500 --> 00:57:49,817
You gave the anti-gay right
1171
00:57:50,017 --> 00:57:51,334
the story of their dreams.
1172
00:57:51,375 --> 00:57:53,337
I don't know why.
1173
00:57:53,537 --> 00:57:55,500
I don't know.
1174
00:57:55,542 --> 00:57:58,626
Who pushed you?
1175
00:57:58,626 --> 00:57:58,467
No one.
1176
00:57:58,667 --> 00:57:59,754
I just wanted
1177
00:57:59,954 --> 00:58:01,042
to tell my story.
1178
00:58:01,083 --> 00:58:02,108
Look, I think
1179
00:58:02,308 --> 00:58:03,334
this all happened
1180
00:58:03,375 --> 00:58:04,358
because God needed
1181
00:58:04,558 --> 00:58:05,542
to teach me a lesson.
1182
00:58:05,584 --> 00:58:07,130
That's why I'm here...
1183
00:58:07,330 --> 00:58:08,876
to make it better.
1184
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:15,925
Meditation is
1185
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:18,918
a way of slowing down
1186
00:58:18,959 --> 00:58:21,918
and developing kindness
1187
00:58:21,918 --> 00:58:21,759
towards yourself.
1188
00:58:21,959 --> 00:58:24,459
Through mindfulness practice,
1189
00:58:24,500 --> 00:58:27,667
we develop strength of mind,
1190
00:58:27,709 --> 00:58:30,292
we become more present,
1191
00:58:30,334 --> 00:58:33,417
and we learn to appreciate
1192
00:58:33,417 --> 00:58:33,617
our world.
1193
00:58:38,250 --> 00:58:38,050
1194
00:58:38,250 --> 00:58:42,042
God works in mysterious ways.
1195
00:58:42,083 --> 00:58:44,083
He has sent me to a place
1196
00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:43,925
where I can get away
1197
00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:46,667
from the physical world
1198
00:58:46,709 --> 00:58:46,509
so that I can focus
1199
00:58:46,709 --> 00:58:49,542
on my true self...
1200
00:58:49,584 --> 00:58:52,417
a happier, healthier man,
1201
00:58:52,459 --> 00:58:55,542
free of unnatural desires.
1202
00:59:03,417 --> 00:59:03,217
At first,
1203
00:59:03,417 --> 00:59:05,542
I didn't understand
1204
00:59:05,584 --> 00:59:07,834
why God would send a Christian
1205
00:59:07,876 --> 00:59:10,584
to a Buddhist retreat.
1206
00:59:10,626 --> 00:59:10,426
But I have faith
1207
00:59:10,626 --> 00:59:13,834
in His plan for me.
1208
00:59:20,584 --> 00:59:23,000
Desire is powerful,
1209
00:59:23,042 --> 00:59:25,918
and God is testing me,
1210
00:59:25,959 --> 00:59:25,759
but I refuse
1211
00:59:25,959 --> 00:59:30,167
to give in to temptation.
1212
00:59:35,751 --> 00:59:37,876
I've come to the realization
1213
00:59:37,918 --> 00:59:37,718
that God wants me
1214
00:59:37,918 --> 00:59:40,918
to use meditation
1215
00:59:40,959 --> 00:59:40,759
to rid myself
1216
00:59:40,959 --> 00:59:44,500
of abnormal desires.
1217
00:59:45,751 --> 00:59:49,250
God gave Buddha the light
1218
00:59:49,250 --> 00:59:49,450
to be Buddha.
1219
00:59:49,650 --> 00:59:51,000
He did.
1220
00:59:51,042 --> 00:59:53,083
Michael, what are you
1221
00:59:53,083 --> 00:59:54,275
talking about?
1222
00:59:54,475 --> 00:59:52,925
I just want us
1223
00:59:53,125 --> 00:59:55,667
to be on the right path
1224
00:59:55,709 --> 00:59:57,334
for our future,
1225
00:59:57,375 --> 00:59:58,733
for our health,
1226
00:59:58,933 --> 01:00:00,292
for the afterlife.
1227
01:00:00,334 --> 01:00:03,792
I am on the right path,
1228
01:00:03,792 --> 01:00:03,992
okay? My path.
1229
01:00:14,083 --> 01:00:15,129
Michael, I...
1230
01:00:15,329 --> 01:00:16,375
I'm sorry.
1231
01:00:19,083 --> 01:00:21,083
I'm sorry, Nico.
1232
01:00:39,500 --> 01:00:43,876
It's the same kind of strength
1233
01:00:43,876 --> 01:00:39,300
you need to...
1234
01:00:39,500 --> 01:00:43,876
to clear your mind.
1235
01:00:43,918 --> 01:00:46,292
This is... We just...
1236
01:00:46,334 --> 01:00:46,134
We need to find
1237
01:00:46,334 --> 01:00:48,709
that strength to fight
1238
01:00:48,751 --> 01:00:48,551
what we both know
1239
01:00:48,751 --> 01:00:52,459
in our hearts is wrong.
1240
01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:55,083
We just have to fight it.
1241
01:00:55,083 --> 01:00:55,283
Stop, Michael. Stop.
1242
01:00:55,483 --> 01:00:56,834
No. I mean...
1243
01:01:06,042 --> 01:01:08,417
Michael, you're confused.
1244
01:01:08,459 --> 01:01:09,817
You're very confused,
1245
01:01:10,017 --> 01:01:11,375
and it's at my expense.
1246
01:01:38,709 --> 01:01:38,509
1247
01:01:38,709 --> 01:01:40,150
People have been asking
1248
01:01:40,350 --> 01:01:41,792
how I am...
1249
01:01:41,834 --> 01:01:43,792
some out of support,
1250
01:01:43,834 --> 01:01:43,634
others who think
1251
01:01:43,834 --> 01:01:46,959
I've reconsidered.
1252
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,042
I've come to the realization
1253
01:01:49,083 --> 01:01:51,417
that Bennett represents soul,
1254
01:01:51,459 --> 01:01:53,918
Tyler represents body,
1255
01:01:53,959 --> 01:01:56,626
Nico represents mind.
1256
01:01:56,667 --> 01:02:00,500
Father, Son, Holy Ghost.
1257
01:02:00,542 --> 01:02:00,342
I guess God needed me
1258
01:02:00,542 --> 01:02:02,834
the complete the Trinity
1259
01:02:02,876 --> 01:02:05,667
in order to move on.
1260
01:02:05,709 --> 01:02:05,509
So I'm ready to set
1261
01:02:05,709 --> 01:02:08,083
the record straight.
1262
01:02:08,125 --> 01:02:10,292
I was a heterosexual person
1263
01:02:10,334 --> 01:02:12,626
with a homosexual problem,
1264
01:02:12,667 --> 01:02:12,467
and I took care
1265
01:02:12,667 --> 01:02:15,375
of that problem.
1266
01:02:15,417 --> 01:02:17,542
I have not reconsidered.
1267
01:02:19,083 --> 01:02:22,417
A good number of people
1268
01:02:22,417 --> 01:02:22,259
have come forward
1269
01:02:22,459 --> 01:02:24,088
and expressed their concern
1270
01:02:24,288 --> 01:02:25,003
about your being involved
1271
01:02:25,203 --> 01:02:25,918
with this organization.
1272
01:02:25,959 --> 01:02:27,504
This center is supposed
1273
01:02:27,704 --> 01:02:29,250
to accept everyone.
1274
01:02:29,292 --> 01:02:31,083
Yes, and we do.
1275
01:02:31,125 --> 01:02:32,025
We welcome people
1276
01:02:32,225 --> 01:02:33,125
of all beliefs.
1277
01:02:33,167 --> 01:02:36,334
But we don't tolerate hate.
1278
01:02:36,375 --> 01:02:39,375
I don't hate anybody.
1279
01:02:39,417 --> 01:02:41,296
Michael, you've written
1280
01:02:41,496 --> 01:02:42,335
what some would call
1281
01:02:42,535 --> 01:02:43,375
very hateful things.
1282
01:02:43,417 --> 01:02:46,417
Those are my beliefs.
1283
01:02:47,834 --> 01:02:49,626
Are you okay?
1284
01:02:49,667 --> 01:02:51,751
Yeah.
1285
01:02:51,792 --> 01:02:54,125
Are you okay?
1286
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,500
I don't know...
1287
01:02:57,542 --> 01:02:58,254
I don't understand
1288
01:02:58,454 --> 01:02:59,167
what has changed,
1289
01:02:59,209 --> 01:03:01,375
but I, uh...
1290
01:03:01,417 --> 01:03:04,042
Here we practice compassion.
1291
01:03:05,042 --> 01:03:07,042
And I'm just...
1292
01:03:07,083 --> 01:03:09,125
I'm afraid this isn't
1293
01:03:09,125 --> 01:03:08,967
gonna work out.
1294
01:03:09,167 --> 01:03:11,292
So, because I'm Christian
1295
01:03:11,334 --> 01:03:12,463
and I expressed
1296
01:03:12,663 --> 01:03:13,792
my opinions,
1297
01:03:13,834 --> 01:03:16,542
I have to leave?
1298
01:03:16,584 --> 01:03:18,792
So messed up.
1299
01:03:57,250 --> 01:03:59,209
That's really everything?
1300
01:03:59,250 --> 01:04:00,400
Your whole life
1301
01:04:00,600 --> 01:04:01,751
is on that one bag?
1302
01:04:01,792 --> 01:04:03,792
Yeah.
1303
01:04:07,334 --> 01:04:07,134
Do you think
1304
01:04:07,334 --> 01:04:10,000
you'll stay here?
1305
01:04:10,042 --> 01:04:11,317
I mean, San Francisco
1306
01:04:11,517 --> 01:04:12,792
can't be the best place
1307
01:04:12,834 --> 01:04:14,918
for an...
1308
01:04:14,959 --> 01:04:17,209
e... ex-gay.
1309
01:04:17,250 --> 01:04:19,834
I'm not an ex-gay.
1310
01:04:19,876 --> 01:04:22,918
I'm just me.
1311
01:04:22,959 --> 01:04:22,759
Honestly,
1312
01:04:22,959 --> 01:04:26,292
I thought you'd be happy.
1313
01:04:26,334 --> 01:04:27,213
I mean, you never
1314
01:04:27,413 --> 01:04:28,292
really approved.
1315
01:04:28,334 --> 01:04:30,626
That's not true.
1316
01:04:30,667 --> 01:04:31,983
Then why haven't
1317
01:04:32,183 --> 01:04:33,500
we been close?
1318
01:04:33,542 --> 01:04:33,342
I mean,
1319
01:04:33,542 --> 01:04:35,709
you're my sister.
1320
01:04:35,751 --> 01:04:38,209
We're supposed to be there
1321
01:04:38,209 --> 01:04:38,409
for each other.
1322
01:04:40,042 --> 01:04:42,375
We can be close now.
1323
01:04:42,417 --> 01:04:44,417
I'm glad you're here.
1324
01:04:45,626 --> 01:04:48,876
And I want you to be happy,
1325
01:04:48,918 --> 01:04:50,918
loving whomever.
1326
01:04:52,584 --> 01:04:53,879
Yeah?
1327
01:04:54,079 --> 01:04:55,375
Yeah.
1328
01:05:53,209 --> 01:05:55,417
♪♪
1329
01:06:40,876 --> 01:06:43,042
I'm sorry.
1330
01:06:43,083 --> 01:06:45,667
No... No, I'm sorry. Uh...
1331
01:06:45,667 --> 01:06:45,509
What?
1332
01:06:45,709 --> 01:06:47,667
What happened?
1333
01:06:47,667 --> 01:06:47,509
I can't.
1334
01:06:47,709 --> 01:06:49,876
Um, it's not you. It's...
1335
01:06:49,918 --> 01:06:50,900
I'm sorry.
1336
01:06:51,100 --> 01:06:52,083
I'm so sorry.
1337
01:07:31,542 --> 01:07:34,167
1338
01:07:38,834 --> 01:07:40,626
Olly, it's okay.
1339
01:07:40,667 --> 01:07:43,000
It's okay, it's okay.
1340
01:07:49,042 --> 01:07:51,042
Hello?
1341
01:07:58,584 --> 01:08:00,584
Michael.
1342
01:08:01,584 --> 01:08:03,584
Bennett.
1343
01:08:05,125 --> 01:08:07,792
Where are you?
1344
01:08:09,209 --> 01:08:11,209
Are you okay?
1345
01:08:14,083 --> 01:08:17,417
Michael?
1346
01:08:17,417 --> 01:08:17,259
I have to go.
1347
01:08:17,459 --> 01:08:18,588
Wh-Why did you call me,
1348
01:08:18,788 --> 01:08:19,918
Michael?
1349
01:08:30,709 --> 01:08:32,709
To my friends who are trapped
1350
01:08:32,751 --> 01:08:34,709
in homosexuality:
1351
01:08:34,751 --> 01:08:34,551
I wanna thank you
1352
01:08:34,751 --> 01:08:37,459
for your kind comments
1353
01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:39,542
and keen observations
1354
01:08:39,584 --> 01:08:40,984
regarding my story
1355
01:08:41,184 --> 01:08:42,584
and my revelation
1356
01:08:42,626 --> 01:08:45,167
that I am no longer homosexual
1357
01:08:45,209 --> 01:08:47,876
and am now heterosexual.
1358
01:08:47,918 --> 01:08:49,876
The gay identity
1359
01:08:49,918 --> 01:08:51,151
has been packaged
1360
01:08:51,351 --> 01:08:52,584
and fed to you,
1361
01:08:52,626 --> 01:08:54,709
and if you identify as gay,
1362
01:08:54,751 --> 01:08:56,709
then you have eaten it,
1363
01:08:56,751 --> 01:08:56,551
preventing you
1364
01:08:56,751 --> 01:08:58,959
from further growth
1365
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:00,296
and understanding
1366
01:09:00,496 --> 01:09:01,792
of your true self.
1367
01:09:01,834 --> 01:09:05,792
But it's not too late
1368
01:09:05,792 --> 01:09:05,634
to save yourself
1369
01:09:05,834 --> 01:09:08,334
if you follow my lead.
1370
01:09:08,375 --> 01:09:10,751
I am confident.
1371
01:09:10,792 --> 01:09:13,000
I am blessed.
1372
01:09:13,042 --> 01:09:15,125
I am strong.
1373
01:09:15,167 --> 01:09:17,292
I am ready
1374
01:09:17,334 --> 01:09:20,250
to give up my life for Christ
1375
01:09:20,292 --> 01:09:23,584
in order to find my true self.
1376
01:10:32,500 --> 01:10:33,588
Sure you don't
1377
01:10:33,788 --> 01:10:34,876
want a coffee?
1378
01:10:34,918 --> 01:10:35,921
I don't drink
1379
01:10:36,121 --> 01:10:37,125
coffee anymore.
1380
01:10:42,042 --> 01:10:44,000
You're well?
1381
01:10:44,042 --> 01:10:46,083
Yeah. Why?
1382
01:10:46,125 --> 01:10:48,125
Just asking.
1383
01:10:49,417 --> 01:10:51,792
Mm. I'm great.
1384
01:10:51,834 --> 01:10:54,417
I've never been better.
1385
01:10:57,417 --> 01:10:57,217
Well, I just wanted
1386
01:10:57,417 --> 01:11:00,792
to see how you're doing.
1387
01:11:02,417 --> 01:11:04,417
So does Bennett.
1388
01:11:05,417 --> 01:11:07,167
Mm.
1389
01:11:07,209 --> 01:11:08,692
I wish I could understand
1390
01:11:08,892 --> 01:11:10,375
what you're going through.
1391
01:11:12,375 --> 01:11:12,175
I just don't want
1392
01:11:12,375 --> 01:11:15,250
to be perceived as gay
1393
01:11:15,292 --> 01:11:15,092
for the rest
1394
01:11:15,292 --> 01:11:18,292
of my experiences.
1395
01:11:18,334 --> 01:11:20,375
It's that simple.
1396
01:11:23,292 --> 01:11:24,671
Are you still
1397
01:11:24,871 --> 01:11:26,250
with Bennett?
1398
01:11:26,292 --> 01:11:27,918
No.
1399
01:11:27,959 --> 01:11:31,918
I'm, uh, going to Europe
1400
01:11:31,959 --> 01:11:33,918
to study space science.
1401
01:11:33,959 --> 01:11:35,959
That's great.
1402
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:35,800
I'm going
1403
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:38,584
to Bible school.
1404
01:11:38,626 --> 01:11:38,426
God told me
1405
01:11:38,626 --> 01:11:41,125
to become a pastor.
1406
01:11:51,042 --> 01:11:50,842
I don't want to
1407
01:11:51,042 --> 01:11:55,209
open old wounds or anything,
1408
01:11:55,250 --> 01:11:58,292
but I also don't know
1409
01:11:58,334 --> 01:11:59,317
when I'll ever
1410
01:11:59,517 --> 01:12:00,500
see you again.
1411
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:02,800
I want you to know
1412
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:05,626
how much you meant to me.
1413
01:12:11,834 --> 01:12:11,634
And I know
1414
01:12:11,834 --> 01:12:14,250
you don't care anymore...
1415
01:12:15,751 --> 01:12:17,959
but I needed to say it.
1416
01:12:18,959 --> 01:12:21,083
For closure.
1417
01:12:26,125 --> 01:12:28,709
This whole thing...
1418
01:12:30,500 --> 01:12:32,667
it broke my heart.
1419
01:12:34,083 --> 01:12:38,292
Tyler, I'm sorry...
1420
01:12:40,459 --> 01:12:41,775
but I need to live
1421
01:12:41,975 --> 01:12:43,292
for myself now.
1422
01:12:46,918 --> 01:12:48,918
Okay.
1423
01:12:52,417 --> 01:12:53,834
Okay.
1424
01:12:56,042 --> 01:12:58,042
Take care.
1425
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:47,800
Now, sometime, somebody's
1426
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:51,083
gonna ask you what you believe.
1427
01:13:51,125 --> 01:13:53,358
They're gonna say,
1428
01:13:53,558 --> 01:13:50,925
"You're a Christian.
1429
01:13:51,125 --> 01:13:55,792
All right, what do you believe?"
1430
01:13:55,834 --> 01:13:58,584
Maybe they're an atheist
1431
01:13:58,584 --> 01:13:58,426
or an agnostic
1432
01:13:58,626 --> 01:14:00,584
or a Muslim or a Buddha,
1433
01:14:00,584 --> 01:14:00,426
you know?
1434
01:14:00,626 --> 01:14:02,584
Who knows what they are.
1435
01:14:02,626 --> 01:14:06,000
And you better be ready
1436
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:05,842
to tell them.
1437
01:14:06,042 --> 01:14:07,608
We believe the Bible
1438
01:14:07,808 --> 01:14:09,375
is the word of God.
1439
01:14:09,417 --> 01:14:12,292
The supreme final authority
1440
01:14:12,334 --> 01:14:12,134
in life
1441
01:14:12,334 --> 01:14:14,500
and in our faith.
1442
01:14:14,542 --> 01:14:18,292
We believe in one God
1443
01:14:18,334 --> 01:14:19,713
eternally existing
1444
01:14:19,913 --> 01:14:21,292
in three persons:
1445
01:14:21,334 --> 01:14:22,275
the Father, the Son,
1446
01:14:22,475 --> 01:14:23,417
and the Holy Spirit.
1447
01:14:24,584 --> 01:14:25,775
And we believe
1448
01:14:25,975 --> 01:14:27,167
the sole condition
1449
01:14:27,209 --> 01:14:30,250
for receiving everlasting life
1450
01:14:30,292 --> 01:14:33,918
is belief and faith alone
1451
01:14:33,959 --> 01:14:36,459
in the Lord Jesus Christ.
1452
01:14:39,042 --> 01:14:41,876
♪♪
1453
01:14:54,584 --> 01:14:57,167
♪♪
1454
01:15:22,209 --> 01:15:22,009
Thank you.
1455
01:15:22,209 --> 01:15:24,667
Uh, one of those, please.
1456
01:15:38,209 --> 01:15:39,792
Hi, I'm Michael.
1457
01:15:39,834 --> 01:15:42,542
Uh, hi. I'm Rebecca.
1458
01:15:44,209 --> 01:15:44,009
I guess we like
1459
01:15:44,209 --> 01:15:47,209
all the same things.
1460
01:15:49,334 --> 01:15:51,542
I love it here.
1461
01:15:51,584 --> 01:15:52,671
I mean, I never thought
1462
01:15:52,871 --> 01:15:53,959
I'd end up in Wyoming,
1463
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,567
but I feel like I've
1464
01:15:55,767 --> 01:15:57,334
finally found my niche.
1465
01:15:57,375 --> 01:15:58,337
Where'd you think
1466
01:15:58,537 --> 01:15:59,500
you'd end up?
1467
01:16:02,083 --> 01:16:04,667
That's a good question.
1468
01:16:04,667 --> 01:16:04,509
I don't know.
1469
01:16:04,709 --> 01:16:06,463
All I know is that
1470
01:16:06,663 --> 01:16:07,440
I've always wanted
1471
01:16:07,640 --> 01:16:08,417
to help people.
1472
01:16:08,459 --> 01:16:10,400
Because some people
1473
01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:12,542
struggle so much
1474
01:16:12,584 --> 01:16:12,384
when the solution
1475
01:16:12,584 --> 01:16:15,626
is actually very simple.
1476
01:16:15,667 --> 01:16:17,213
It's right there
1477
01:16:17,413 --> 01:16:18,959
in Matthew 10:
1478
01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:21,042
The road may not be easy,
1479
01:16:21,083 --> 01:16:20,883
but if we give up
1480
01:16:21,083 --> 01:16:23,584
our lives for Christ...
1481
01:16:25,125 --> 01:16:26,358
then we'll find
1482
01:16:26,558 --> 01:16:27,792
our true selves.
1483
01:16:35,626 --> 01:16:36,505
Where did you
1484
01:16:36,705 --> 01:16:37,584
go to college?
1485
01:16:37,626 --> 01:16:39,751
Dartmouth.
1486
01:16:39,751 --> 01:16:39,592
Wow.
1487
01:16:39,792 --> 01:16:39,592
You, uh...
1488
01:16:39,792 --> 01:16:41,751
You majored in music?
1489
01:16:41,792 --> 01:16:43,379
In creative writing
1490
01:16:43,579 --> 01:16:45,167
and English literature,
1491
01:16:45,209 --> 01:16:49,500
but I minored in music theory
1492
01:16:49,500 --> 01:16:49,342
and composition.
1493
01:16:49,542 --> 01:16:52,167
That must've kept you busy.
1494
01:16:52,209 --> 01:16:53,338
What kind of stuff
1495
01:16:53,538 --> 01:16:54,667
did you write?
1496
01:16:54,709 --> 01:16:54,509
Well, my thesis
1497
01:16:54,709 --> 01:16:59,125
was all poetry, actually.
1498
01:16:59,167 --> 01:17:01,626
Can I read some?
1499
01:17:01,667 --> 01:17:03,834
I don't have it anymore.
1500
01:17:03,876 --> 01:17:05,442
Poetry is from
1501
01:17:05,642 --> 01:17:07,209
a different life.
1502
01:17:07,250 --> 01:17:08,959
But I, um...
1503
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:11,334
I'm so interested
1504
01:17:11,334 --> 01:17:12,505
in music now
1505
01:17:12,705 --> 01:17:11,175
because it
1506
01:17:11,375 --> 01:17:13,876
transcends language.
1507
01:17:13,918 --> 01:17:15,484
You know, it's like
1508
01:17:15,684 --> 01:17:17,250
people don't have to
1509
01:17:17,250 --> 01:17:18,150
argue about it
1510
01:17:18,350 --> 01:17:17,092
or judge it
1511
01:17:17,292 --> 01:17:19,250
or misinterpret it.
1512
01:17:19,292 --> 01:17:21,417
They can just listen,
1513
01:17:21,417 --> 01:17:23,129
you know?
1514
01:17:23,329 --> 01:17:21,259
I just play,
1515
01:17:21,459 --> 01:17:25,042
and they just listen,
1516
01:17:25,042 --> 01:17:24,883
you know?
1517
01:17:25,083 --> 01:17:27,459
I... I don't know if I do,
1518
01:17:27,459 --> 01:17:27,300
to be honest,
1519
01:17:27,500 --> 01:17:30,500
but the way you say it,
1520
01:17:30,500 --> 01:17:31,421
I want to.
1521
01:17:31,621 --> 01:17:30,342
I'm sorry.
1522
01:17:30,542 --> 01:17:32,542
I'm just blabbing.
1523
01:17:32,584 --> 01:17:33,463
What about you?
1524
01:17:33,663 --> 01:17:34,542
No, don't be sorry.
1525
01:17:34,584 --> 01:17:36,542
You're not blabbing.
1526
01:17:36,542 --> 01:17:36,384
Um...
1527
01:17:36,584 --> 01:17:38,542
I, uh, majored in theater.
1528
01:17:38,584 --> 01:17:40,542
Theater? Really?
1529
01:17:40,542 --> 01:17:40,384
Yeah.
1530
01:17:40,584 --> 01:17:41,463
Yeah, it was...
1531
01:17:41,663 --> 01:17:42,542
it was really fun,
1532
01:17:42,584 --> 01:17:43,817
but it's not like
1533
01:17:44,017 --> 01:17:45,250
it's a real job.
1534
01:17:45,292 --> 01:17:47,192
I actually stage managed
1535
01:17:47,392 --> 01:17:49,292
a little bit after college,
1536
01:17:49,292 --> 01:17:49,134
but...
1537
01:17:49,334 --> 01:17:50,692
I don't know.
1538
01:17:50,892 --> 01:17:52,250
I felt adrift.
1539
01:17:52,292 --> 01:17:54,250
So, I came here,
1540
01:17:54,292 --> 01:17:57,000
hoping to figure out
1541
01:17:57,000 --> 01:17:57,921
my path.
1542
01:17:58,121 --> 01:17:59,042
Me too.
1543
01:18:46,542 --> 01:18:49,709
♪♪
1544
01:18:49,751 --> 01:18:49,551
I can't believe
1545
01:18:49,751 --> 01:18:52,334
you've never had sushi.
1546
01:18:52,375 --> 01:18:54,876
Who hasn't had sushi?
1547
01:18:54,876 --> 01:18:55,076
It's crazy.
1548
01:18:55,276 --> 01:18:57,459
Mm...
1549
01:18:57,500 --> 01:18:59,459
Oh, no.
1550
01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:01,500
You don't like it.
1551
01:19:01,500 --> 01:19:01,342
I'm sorry.
1552
01:19:01,542 --> 01:19:03,542
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1553
01:19:03,584 --> 01:19:04,567
Ohh...
1554
01:19:04,767 --> 01:19:05,751
I'm sorry.
1555
01:19:05,792 --> 01:19:07,150
No. I used to hate it
1556
01:19:07,350 --> 01:19:08,709
when my ex did that.
1557
01:19:08,751 --> 01:19:11,125
Always making decisions.
1558
01:19:11,167 --> 01:19:13,334
We can go somewhere else.
1559
01:19:13,334 --> 01:19:13,175
No.
1560
01:19:13,375 --> 01:19:15,709
No, no, no. No.
1561
01:19:15,709 --> 01:19:16,734
It's okay.
1562
01:19:16,934 --> 01:19:17,346
You sure?
1563
01:19:17,546 --> 01:19:17,959
Yes. Yeah.
1564
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:19,108
You like it.
1565
01:19:19,308 --> 01:19:20,417
It's fine.
1566
01:19:25,292 --> 01:19:25,092
How, um...
1567
01:19:25,292 --> 01:19:28,584
How long ago was the...
1568
01:19:28,626 --> 01:19:30,584
an ex you mentioned?
1569
01:19:30,626 --> 01:19:33,626
Oh, it was a long time ago.
1570
01:19:33,626 --> 01:19:33,467
It was...
1571
01:19:33,667 --> 01:19:34,713
I don't know why
1572
01:19:34,913 --> 01:19:35,959
I brought that up.
1573
01:19:38,042 --> 01:19:40,500
Well, um, was it serious?
1574
01:19:40,542 --> 01:19:42,542
Were you gonna marry her?
1575
01:19:45,042 --> 01:19:47,751
It was serious, but, um,
1576
01:19:47,792 --> 01:19:49,876
no, not marriage.
1577
01:19:51,375 --> 01:19:53,459
What about you?
1578
01:19:53,500 --> 01:19:55,459
Oh, no. I've...
1579
01:19:55,500 --> 01:19:55,300
I've never been in
1580
01:19:55,500 --> 01:19:58,751
a serious relationship.
1581
01:19:58,792 --> 01:20:00,296
My parents are very,
1582
01:20:00,496 --> 01:20:02,000
very conservative.
1583
01:20:03,375 --> 01:20:03,175
Do you think
1584
01:20:03,375 --> 01:20:05,709
they'd approve of me?
1585
01:20:05,751 --> 01:20:05,551
The future pastor
1586
01:20:05,751 --> 01:20:09,542
I met at Bible school?
1587
01:20:09,584 --> 01:20:12,709
Yes, I think they'd approve.
1588
01:20:47,292 --> 01:20:48,709
Rebecca?
1589
01:20:49,834 --> 01:20:52,792
Hi.
1590
01:20:54,500 --> 01:20:56,834
What?
1591
01:20:56,876 --> 01:20:58,876
I just...
1592
01:20:58,918 --> 01:21:01,709
Since when do you wear
1593
01:21:01,709 --> 01:21:01,551
shirts like that?
1594
01:21:01,751 --> 01:21:05,626
Well, it's not inappropriate,
1595
01:21:05,626 --> 01:21:05,467
and it's hot out.
1596
01:21:05,667 --> 01:21:09,876
You're here to serve our Lord,
1597
01:21:09,876 --> 01:21:12,213
not distract our men.
1598
01:21:12,413 --> 01:21:09,718
I... I don't think
1599
01:21:09,918 --> 01:21:14,751
I'm distracting anyone.
1600
01:21:14,792 --> 01:21:17,292
Is... Is this about Michael?
1601
01:21:17,334 --> 01:21:19,213
We are not letting what we have
1602
01:21:19,413 --> 01:21:21,292
get in the way of our studies.
1603
01:21:21,334 --> 01:21:22,421
Besides, the Lord
1604
01:21:22,621 --> 01:21:23,709
brought us together.
1605
01:21:24,876 --> 01:21:27,667
It's about his past.
1606
01:21:27,709 --> 01:21:30,334
What about it?
1607
01:21:30,375 --> 01:21:32,584
You really don't know?
1608
01:21:34,542 --> 01:21:36,500
Know what?
1609
01:21:57,292 --> 01:21:59,083
Rebecca.
1610
01:21:59,125 --> 01:22:01,083
Oh. Hi.
1611
01:22:01,125 --> 01:22:03,292
Are we still meeting?
1612
01:22:03,292 --> 01:22:03,134
Yeah. I'm just...
1613
01:22:03,334 --> 01:22:04,671
Just let me finish this.
1614
01:22:04,871 --> 01:22:06,209
I'll be... be right there.
1615
01:22:07,459 --> 01:22:09,918
I'll be in the cafeteria.
1616
01:22:09,918 --> 01:22:10,118
Okay.
1617
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:29,800
I have something
1618
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:32,417
that I have to tell you.
1619
01:22:36,542 --> 01:22:38,542
You already know,
1620
01:22:38,542 --> 01:22:38,742
don't you?
1621
01:22:43,167 --> 01:22:44,317
Are you still
1622
01:22:44,517 --> 01:22:45,667
attracted to men?
1623
01:22:45,709 --> 01:22:47,751
No.
1624
01:22:48,959 --> 01:22:51,000
It's in the past.
1625
01:22:51,042 --> 01:22:53,918
I... God showed me
1626
01:22:53,918 --> 01:22:53,759
the light.
1627
01:22:53,959 --> 01:22:56,417
He showed me the truth.
1628
01:22:56,459 --> 01:22:56,259
A lot of...
1629
01:22:56,459 --> 01:23:00,375
A lot of people have pasts
1630
01:23:00,375 --> 01:23:02,108
they're not proud of,
1631
01:23:02,308 --> 01:23:04,042
but God forgives, right?
1632
01:23:06,083 --> 01:23:09,792
My life has changed so much
1633
01:23:09,792 --> 01:23:11,421
since I met you.
1634
01:23:11,621 --> 01:23:12,335
And my feelings
1635
01:23:12,535 --> 01:23:13,250
for you are real.
1636
01:23:13,292 --> 01:23:17,209
My feelings for you
1637
01:23:17,209 --> 01:23:17,050
are real too.
1638
01:23:17,250 --> 01:23:18,733
But I feel like we should
1639
01:23:18,933 --> 01:23:20,417
just keep hanging out
1640
01:23:20,459 --> 01:23:22,709
and see what happens.
1641
01:23:22,751 --> 01:23:22,551
Maybe not settle
1642
01:23:22,751 --> 01:23:26,876
on anything too specific,
1643
01:23:26,918 --> 01:23:28,918
if that's okay.
1644
01:23:30,918 --> 01:23:32,334
Okay.
1645
01:24:00,000 --> 01:24:02,667
Hi. I'm Michael.
1646
01:24:38,459 --> 01:24:41,584
Now, I wanna tell you
1647
01:24:41,626 --> 01:24:44,751
a little secret
1648
01:24:44,792 --> 01:24:48,417
about a great gift from God.
1649
01:24:50,250 --> 01:24:52,918
This gift is a human emotion
1650
01:24:52,959 --> 01:24:54,918
and considered destructive
1651
01:24:54,959 --> 01:24:57,125
by the enemies of God.
1652
01:25:01,000 --> 01:25:03,417
Fear.
1653
01:25:03,459 --> 01:25:07,292
You can never, never,
1654
01:25:07,334 --> 01:25:11,500
never stop fearing yourself.
1655
01:25:11,542 --> 01:25:16,584
We are our own worst enemies,
1656
01:25:16,626 --> 01:25:18,834
and we must fear ourselves
1657
01:25:18,876 --> 01:25:18,676
till the day
1658
01:25:18,876 --> 01:25:23,125
we meet God Himself.
1659
01:25:24,334 --> 01:25:26,459
God didn't put us here
1660
01:25:26,500 --> 01:25:27,879
to live our lives
1661
01:25:28,079 --> 01:25:29,459
in constant fear.
1662
01:25:29,500 --> 01:25:31,459
No, of course not.
1663
01:25:31,500 --> 01:25:33,046
And then he scolded me
1664
01:25:33,246 --> 01:25:34,792
for asking questions.
1665
01:25:34,834 --> 01:25:35,713
Well, that's not fair.
1666
01:25:35,913 --> 01:25:36,792
We're here to learn,
1667
01:25:36,834 --> 01:25:37,713
and we learn, in part,
1668
01:25:37,913 --> 01:25:38,792
by asking questions.
1669
01:25:38,834 --> 01:25:42,292
No, we're here to serve God,
1670
01:25:42,292 --> 01:25:42,134
not to identify
1671
01:25:42,334 --> 01:25:46,584
as the exact kind of Christians
1672
01:25:46,584 --> 01:25:46,784
they want us to be.
1673
01:25:47,792 --> 01:25:49,275
I'm sorry.
1674
01:25:49,475 --> 01:25:50,959
Don't be.
1675
01:25:51,042 --> 01:25:52,734
You know what's best
1676
01:25:52,934 --> 01:25:53,680
because that's God
1677
01:25:53,880 --> 01:25:54,626
speaking through you.
1678
01:26:02,334 --> 01:26:04,334
You wanted to see me?
1679
01:26:06,375 --> 01:26:07,837
Now, you've been rallying
1680
01:26:08,037 --> 01:26:09,500
the students against us
1681
01:26:09,542 --> 01:26:09,342
as though
1682
01:26:09,542 --> 01:26:10,879
you're being controlled
1683
01:26:11,079 --> 01:26:12,417
by the devil himself.
1684
01:26:15,626 --> 01:26:16,796
I've learned a lot
1685
01:26:16,996 --> 01:26:18,167
about the Bible here,
1686
01:26:18,209 --> 01:26:20,417
and for that I thank you.
1687
01:26:20,459 --> 01:26:21,775
But I refuse
1688
01:26:21,975 --> 01:26:23,292
to be controlled
1689
01:26:23,334 --> 01:26:25,584
by anyone other than God.
1690
01:26:25,626 --> 01:26:27,876
I follow my own path.
1691
01:26:27,918 --> 01:26:29,234
Yeah, and you want
1692
01:26:29,434 --> 01:26:30,751
others to follow you.
1693
01:26:32,292 --> 01:26:32,092
Perhaps it's best
1694
01:26:32,292 --> 01:26:35,626
if we mail you your diploma
1695
01:26:35,667 --> 01:26:36,942
and that you not
1696
01:26:37,142 --> 01:26:38,417
attend the ceremony.
1697
01:26:43,459 --> 01:26:43,259
I don't know if I
1698
01:26:43,459 --> 01:26:45,918
can stay here anymore.
1699
01:26:45,959 --> 01:26:48,167
Where will we go?
1700
01:26:49,876 --> 01:26:51,500
"We"?
1701
01:26:53,250 --> 01:26:57,292
Uh, I've been praying
1702
01:26:57,292 --> 01:26:57,492
about it.
1703
01:26:58,334 --> 01:27:00,918
About us.
1704
01:27:00,959 --> 01:27:00,759
I told God
1705
01:27:00,959 --> 01:27:04,459
how I feel about you
1706
01:27:04,500 --> 01:27:06,129
and how much
1707
01:27:06,329 --> 01:27:07,959
you mean to me.
1708
01:27:08,000 --> 01:27:10,167
And you know what?
1709
01:27:12,125 --> 01:27:11,925
I was consumed
1710
01:27:12,125 --> 01:27:14,876
with nothing but peace.
1711
01:27:14,918 --> 01:27:18,083
Pure peace.
1712
01:27:21,375 --> 01:27:23,834
I love you.
1713
01:27:24,834 --> 01:27:26,834
I love you too.
1714
01:28:00,042 --> 01:28:02,876
"And be not conformed
1715
01:28:02,876 --> 01:28:02,718
to this world,
1716
01:28:02,918 --> 01:28:02,718
"but be you transformed
1717
01:28:02,918 --> 01:28:07,000
by the renewing of your mind
1718
01:28:07,042 --> 01:28:10,667
"that you may prove that good,
1719
01:28:10,709 --> 01:28:14,000
glorious and perfect
1720
01:28:14,000 --> 01:28:14,200
will of God."
1721
01:28:16,709 --> 01:28:19,167
"That you may know
1722
01:28:19,167 --> 01:28:19,009
that good,
1723
01:28:19,209 --> 01:28:22,959
acceptable and perfect
1724
01:28:22,959 --> 01:28:23,159
will of God."
1725
01:28:29,876 --> 01:28:31,876
♪♪
1726
01:28:52,834 --> 01:28:54,338
Which would you
1727
01:28:54,538 --> 01:28:56,042
prefer to have?
1728
01:28:56,083 --> 01:28:57,379
Frosted Flakes
1729
01:28:57,579 --> 01:28:58,876
or Fruit Loops?
1730
01:28:58,918 --> 01:29:02,459
Well, obviously Fruit Loops.
1731
01:29:02,459 --> 01:29:02,300
Why obviously?
1732
01:29:02,500 --> 01:29:04,459
I think you're a Fruit Loop.
1733
01:29:24,125 --> 01:29:25,754
There you are.
1734
01:29:25,954 --> 01:29:27,584
Are you okay?
1735
01:29:29,000 --> 01:29:31,000
Yeah, I'm fine.
1736
01:29:41,375 --> 01:29:44,167
You get everything?
1737
01:29:44,167 --> 01:29:44,367
Mm-hmm.
1738
01:29:47,292 --> 01:29:48,233
These are going
1739
01:29:48,433 --> 01:29:49,375
to storage.
1740
01:29:57,083 --> 01:29:58,587
Well, so you can have
1741
01:29:58,787 --> 01:29:59,439
a little more room
1742
01:29:59,639 --> 01:30:00,292
for your shoes?
1743
01:30:00,334 --> 01:30:02,209
Shut up.
1744
01:30:02,250 --> 01:30:03,254
I have never seen anyone
1745
01:30:03,454 --> 01:30:04,459
with more shoes than you.
1746
01:30:04,500 --> 01:30:05,546
You can never have
1747
01:30:05,746 --> 01:30:06,792
too many shoes.
1748
01:30:18,709 --> 01:30:20,709
Get those outta here.
1749
01:30:39,834 --> 01:30:41,417
Hello.
1750
01:30:41,459 --> 01:30:41,259
1751
01:30:41,459 --> 01:30:43,459
Hi.
1752
01:30:47,375 --> 01:30:49,125
Hi.
1753
01:30:51,375 --> 01:30:53,334
How are you?
1754
01:30:53,375 --> 01:30:55,209
Good.
1755
01:30:56,209 --> 01:30:58,375
I finished school,
1756
01:30:58,417 --> 01:30:59,733
but I'm no longer
1757
01:30:59,933 --> 01:31:01,250
on their path.
1758
01:31:02,751 --> 01:31:02,551
So, what path
1759
01:31:02,751 --> 01:31:06,083
are you on now?
1760
01:31:06,125 --> 01:31:08,125
My own.
1761
01:31:08,167 --> 01:31:07,967
I'm going to be the pastor
1762
01:31:08,167 --> 01:31:12,042
of my own church.
1763
01:31:15,375 --> 01:31:18,250
Why are you calling?
1764
01:31:18,292 --> 01:31:20,125
Um...
1765
01:31:21,250 --> 01:31:23,709
I, uh...
1766
01:31:23,751 --> 01:31:24,900
I got the picture
1767
01:31:25,100 --> 01:31:26,250
you sent of Olly.
1768
01:31:26,292 --> 01:31:26,092
I know it was months ago,
1769
01:31:26,292 --> 01:31:28,375
but I didn't respond.
1770
01:31:28,417 --> 01:31:30,542
So, how is she?
1771
01:31:32,542 --> 01:31:35,042
She's getting old.
1772
01:31:35,083 --> 01:31:36,233
But she's okay.
1773
01:31:36,433 --> 01:31:37,584
She has this
1774
01:31:37,626 --> 01:31:37,426
stuffed animal that she
1775
01:31:37,626 --> 01:31:40,417
carries around with her now
1776
01:31:40,459 --> 01:31:40,259
everywhere she goes,
1777
01:31:40,459 --> 01:31:43,000
like it's her baby, or...
1778
01:31:43,042 --> 01:31:46,250
1779
01:31:48,417 --> 01:31:51,751
Bennett, I should tell you
1780
01:31:51,792 --> 01:31:54,375
before someone else does.
1781
01:31:54,417 --> 01:31:56,709
I'm engaged
1782
01:31:56,751 --> 01:32:01,876
to a really amazing woman.
1783
01:32:01,918 --> 01:32:01,718
Now, I know
1784
01:32:01,918 --> 01:32:03,918
what you're thinking,
1785
01:32:03,959 --> 01:32:03,759
because I asked myself
1786
01:32:03,959 --> 01:32:06,626
the same thing...
1787
01:32:06,667 --> 01:32:08,667
am I really in love with her,
1788
01:32:08,709 --> 01:32:10,667
or am I only doing this
1789
01:32:10,709 --> 01:32:13,542
to be right in God's eyes?
1790
01:32:13,584 --> 01:32:13,384
A-And I am truly
1791
01:32:13,584 --> 01:32:17,792
in love with her, Bennett.
1792
01:32:19,417 --> 01:32:20,921
God went to the root
1793
01:32:21,121 --> 01:32:22,626
of my same-sex desires,
1794
01:32:22,667 --> 01:32:25,209
and He uprooted them.
1795
01:32:25,250 --> 01:32:25,050
He demonstrated
1796
01:32:25,250 --> 01:32:28,083
that they were abnormal.
1797
01:32:28,125 --> 01:32:27,925
Michael, I'm really glad
1798
01:32:28,125 --> 01:32:31,542
you think you're happy...
1799
01:32:35,459 --> 01:32:37,417
and I wish you all the best.
1800
01:32:37,459 --> 01:32:37,259
I really do.
1801
01:32:37,459 --> 01:32:40,250
I think you know that.
1802
01:32:40,292 --> 01:32:43,334
But I have no idea
1803
01:32:43,375 --> 01:32:43,175
why you would call me up
1804
01:32:43,375 --> 01:32:46,667
and use words like "abnormal."
1805
01:32:48,918 --> 01:32:48,718
I'm so sorry for the way
1806
01:32:48,918 --> 01:32:53,334
that things went down.
1807
01:32:53,375 --> 01:32:55,918
But just because we don't
1808
01:32:55,959 --> 01:32:57,918
share certain beliefs,
1809
01:32:57,918 --> 01:32:59,546
it doesn't mean
1810
01:32:59,746 --> 01:33:00,460
that we can't
1811
01:33:00,660 --> 01:33:01,375
still be friends.
1812
01:33:04,792 --> 01:33:07,000
I'll always be your friend.
1813
01:33:09,167 --> 01:33:13,334
I really hope that this path
1814
01:33:13,375 --> 01:33:13,175
takes you
1815
01:33:13,375 --> 01:33:16,792
where you wanna go.
1816
01:33:16,834 --> 01:33:21,083
But I also hope that
1817
01:33:21,125 --> 01:33:22,338
as you're setting out
1818
01:33:22,538 --> 01:33:23,751
to help other people,
1819
01:33:23,792 --> 01:33:25,567
that you really take some time
1820
01:33:25,767 --> 01:33:27,542
to help yourself.
1821
01:33:30,459 --> 01:33:34,083
I... I am. I...
1822
01:33:34,125 --> 01:33:33,925
I'm not gonna
1823
01:33:34,125 --> 01:33:36,209
sit here and say
1824
01:33:36,250 --> 01:33:36,050
that I know I'll be this way
1825
01:33:36,250 --> 01:33:40,709
for the rest of my life.
1826
01:33:40,751 --> 01:33:44,584
We're always changing,
1827
01:33:44,584 --> 01:33:44,426
evolving,
1828
01:33:44,626 --> 01:33:46,834
and I'm open to that.
1829
01:33:52,083 --> 01:33:54,083
Then...
1830
01:33:55,459 --> 01:33:57,088
I guess nothing's
1831
01:33:57,288 --> 01:33:58,918
really changed.
1832
01:33:58,959 --> 01:34:01,417
Yeah.
1833
01:34:03,167 --> 01:34:02,967
You take care
1834
01:34:03,167 --> 01:34:05,459
of yourself, okay?
1835
01:34:08,125 --> 01:34:10,125
Good-bye, Michael.
1836
01:34:13,876 --> 01:34:15,459
Bye.
1837
01:34:34,459 --> 01:34:37,584
♪♪
1838
01:34:58,792 --> 01:35:00,751
♪♪
1839
01:35:00,792 --> 01:35:02,334
Here they come.
1840
01:36:13,292 --> 01:36:13,092
1841
01:36:13,292 --> 01:36:16,083
♪ Every finger in the room ♪
1842
01:36:16,125 --> 01:36:18,959
♪ Is pointing at me ♪
1843
01:36:19,000 --> 01:36:21,792
♪ I wanna spit in their faces ♪
1844
01:36:21,834 --> 01:36:21,634
♪ Then I get afraid
1845
01:36:21,834 --> 01:36:24,626
of what that could bring ♪
1846
01:36:24,667 --> 01:36:24,467
♪ Got a bowling ball
1847
01:36:24,667 --> 01:36:27,459
in my stomach ♪
1848
01:36:27,500 --> 01:36:31,292
♪ I got a desert in my mouth ♪
1849
01:36:31,334 --> 01:36:31,134
♪ Figures that my courage
1850
01:36:31,334 --> 01:36:35,959
would choose to sell out now ♪
1851
01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:35,800
♪ I've been looking
1852
01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:35,800
for a savior
1853
01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:41,626
in these dirty streets ♪
1854
01:36:41,667 --> 01:36:41,467
♪ Looking for a savior
1855
01:36:41,667 --> 01:36:47,292
beneath these dirty sheets ♪
1856
01:36:47,334 --> 01:36:47,134
♪ I've been
1857
01:36:47,334 --> 01:36:50,375
raising up my hands ♪
1858
01:36:50,417 --> 01:36:52,959
♪ Drive another nail in ♪
1859
01:36:53,000 --> 01:36:55,751
♪ Just what God needs ♪
1860
01:36:55,792 --> 01:36:58,626
♪ One more victim ♪
1861
01:36:58,667 --> 01:37:01,417
♪ Why do we ♪
1862
01:37:01,459 --> 01:37:04,292
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1863
01:37:04,334 --> 01:37:07,083
♪ Every day ♪
1864
01:37:07,125 --> 01:37:09,626
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1865
01:37:09,667 --> 01:37:09,467
♪ And nothing I do
1866
01:37:09,667 --> 01:37:12,751
is good enough for you ♪
1867
01:37:12,792 --> 01:37:15,626
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1868
01:37:15,667 --> 01:37:18,459
♪ Every day ♪
1869
01:37:18,500 --> 01:37:20,959
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1870
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:23,792
♪ My heart is sick of being ♪
1871
01:37:23,834 --> 01:37:23,634
♪ I say my heart
1872
01:37:23,834 --> 01:37:26,626
is sick of being ♪
1873
01:37:26,667 --> 01:37:31,250
♪ In chai-ai-ains ♪
1874
01:37:31,292 --> 01:37:33,042
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1875
01:37:33,083 --> 01:37:36,959
♪ Chai-ai-ains ♪
1876
01:37:37,000 --> 01:37:39,167
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1877
01:37:39,209 --> 01:37:39,009
♪ Got a kick for a dog
1878
01:37:39,209 --> 01:37:43,918
beggin' for love ♪
1879
01:37:43,959 --> 01:37:43,759
♪ I gotta have my suffering
1880
01:37:43,959 --> 01:37:49,584
so that I can have my cross ♪
1881
01:37:49,626 --> 01:37:52,209
♪ I know a cat named Easter ♪
1882
01:37:52,250 --> 01:37:52,050
♪ He says,
1883
01:37:52,250 --> 01:37:55,792
"Will you ever learn?" ♪
1884
01:37:55,834 --> 01:37:55,634
♪ You're just an empty cage,
1885
01:37:55,834 --> 01:38:01,375
girl, if you kill the bird ♪
1886
01:38:01,417 --> 01:38:01,217
♪ I've been looking
1887
01:38:01,417 --> 01:38:03,918
for a savior
1888
01:38:03,959 --> 01:38:07,584
♪ In these dirty streets ♪
1889
01:38:07,626 --> 01:38:07,426
♪ Looking for a savior
1890
01:38:07,626 --> 01:38:12,792
beneath these dirty sheets ♪
1891
01:38:12,834 --> 01:38:12,634
♪ I've been
1892
01:38:12,834 --> 01:38:15,792
raising up my hands ♪
1893
01:38:15,834 --> 01:38:18,542
♪ Drive another nail in ♪
1894
01:38:18,584 --> 01:38:18,384
♪ Got enough guilt to start
1895
01:38:18,584 --> 01:38:24,209
my own religion ♪
1896
01:38:24,250 --> 01:38:26,500
♪ Why do we ♪
1897
01:38:26,542 --> 01:38:29,417
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1898
01:38:29,459 --> 01:38:32,167
♪ Every day ♪
1899
01:38:32,209 --> 01:38:35,000
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1900
01:38:35,042 --> 01:38:34,842
♪ And nothing I do
1901
01:38:35,042 --> 01:38:37,959
is good enough for you ♪
1902
01:38:38,000 --> 01:38:40,918
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1903
01:38:40,959 --> 01:38:43,751
♪ Every day ♪
1904
01:38:43,792 --> 01:38:46,417
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1905
01:38:46,459 --> 01:38:49,125
♪ My heart is sick of being ♪
1906
01:38:49,167 --> 01:38:48,967
♪ I say my heart
1907
01:38:49,167 --> 01:38:51,626
is sick of being ♪
1908
01:38:51,667 --> 01:38:56,500
♪ In chai-ai-ains ♪
1909
01:38:56,542 --> 01:38:58,375
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1910
01:38:58,417 --> 01:39:02,209
♪ Chai-ai-ains ♪
1911
01:39:02,250 --> 01:39:04,209
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1912
01:39:04,250 --> 01:39:09,918
♪ Please be ♪
1913
01:39:09,959 --> 01:39:12,667
♪ Save ♪
1914
01:39:12,709 --> 01:39:15,834
♪ Me ♪
1915
01:39:15,876 --> 01:39:18,667
♪ I ♪
1916
01:39:18,709 --> 01:39:23,751
♪ Cry ♪
1917
01:39:23,792 --> 01:39:27,250
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
1918
01:39:27,292 --> 01:39:27,092
♪ Looking for a savior
1919
01:39:27,292 --> 01:39:33,000
in these dirty streets ♪
1920
01:39:33,042 --> 01:39:32,842
♪ Looking for a savior
1921
01:39:33,042 --> 01:39:38,125
beneath these dirty sheets ♪
1922
01:39:38,167 --> 01:39:37,967
♪ I've been
1923
01:39:38,167 --> 01:39:41,209
raising up my hands ♪
1924
01:39:41,250 --> 01:39:43,876
♪ Drive another nail in ♪
1925
01:39:43,918 --> 01:39:43,718
♪ Where are those angels
1926
01:39:43,918 --> 01:39:49,751
when you need them? ♪
1927
01:39:49,792 --> 01:39:51,751
♪ Why do we ♪
1928
01:39:51,792 --> 01:39:54,626
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1929
01:39:54,667 --> 01:39:57,417
♪ Every day ♪
1930
01:39:57,459 --> 01:39:59,959
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1931
01:40:00,000 --> 01:39:59,800
♪ And nothing I do
1932
01:40:00,000 --> 01:40:03,083
is good enough for you ♪
1933
01:40:03,125 --> 01:40:05,959
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1934
01:40:06,000 --> 01:40:08,792
♪ Every day ♪
1935
01:40:08,834 --> 01:40:11,292
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1936
01:40:11,334 --> 01:40:14,125
♪ My heart is sick of being ♪
1937
01:40:14,167 --> 01:40:13,967
♪ I say my heart
1938
01:40:14,167 --> 01:40:16,959
is sick of being ♪
1939
01:40:17,000 --> 01:40:21,584
♪ In chai-ai-ains ♪
1940
01:40:21,626 --> 01:40:23,542
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1941
01:40:23,584 --> 01:40:27,334
♪ Chai-ai-ains ♪
1942
01:40:27,375 --> 01:40:29,876
♪ Why do we ♪
1943
01:40:29,918 --> 01:40:29,718
♪ Chains ♪
1944
01:40:29,918 --> 01:40:33,834
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1945
01:40:33,876 --> 01:40:33,676
♪ Every day ♪
1946
01:40:33,876 --> 01:40:36,542
♪ Why do we ♪
1947
01:40:36,584 --> 01:40:36,384
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1948
01:40:36,584 --> 01:40:39,542
♪♪
1949
01:40:39,584 --> 01:40:39,384
♪ Why do we ♪
1950
01:40:39,584 --> 01:40:41,792
♪ No ♪
1951
01:40:41,834 --> 01:40:41,634
♪ Chains, oh, yeah ♪
1952
01:40:41,834 --> 01:40:45,500
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1953
01:40:45,542 --> 01:40:45,342
♪ Why do we ♪
1954
01:40:45,542 --> 01:40:48,792
♪ Yeah, chains ♪
1955
01:40:48,834 --> 01:40:48,634
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1956
01:40:48,834 --> 01:40:51,167
♪♪
1957
01:40:51,209 --> 01:40:51,009
♪ Why do we ♪
1958
01:40:51,209 --> 01:40:53,834
♪ Never going back again ♪
1959
01:40:53,876 --> 01:40:53,676
♪ I crucify myself ♪
1960
01:40:53,876 --> 01:40:56,584
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1961
01:40:56,626 --> 01:40:56,426
♪ Again, you know ♪
1962
01:40:56,626 --> 01:40:59,125
♪ Why do we ♪
1963
01:40:59,167 --> 01:40:58,967
♪ Never going back again
1964
01:40:59,167 --> 01:41:00,542
to crucify myself ♪
1965
01:41:00,584 --> 01:41:02,751
♪ Crucify ourselves ♪
1966
01:41:02,792 --> 01:41:07,334
♪ Every day, yeah ♪
146959
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