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1
00:01:08,628 --> 00:01:13,628
Subtitles by explosiveskull
2
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:31,759
It was destiny that brought
the great Sherlock Holmes into my life.
3
00:01:31,924 --> 00:01:37,430
That fateful day, I met the finest,
most compassionate, most beautiful man
4
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,766
I would ever have the honor to know.
5
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:42,310
You look radiant
this morning, my darling.
6
00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,479
Green and proud.
7
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,483
Not a blemish on your perfect skin.
8
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,903
You beautiful, green, succulent bitch...
9
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:54,364
I first met him after my return
from the Afghan War.
10
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,950
The war had left me
with a broken leg and a broken spirit.
11
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,494
I was in dire straits.
12
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,037
Do you like this?
13
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:06,459
I was going to end it all,
but that terrible moment...
14
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:07,544
Goodbye, life.
15
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,961
...became the greatest of my life.
16
00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:10,546
You unforgiving turd.
17
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,674
He saw I was about jump to my death.
18
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,468
- Don't do it!
- And he immediately tried to stop me.
19
00:02:14,550 --> 00:02:16,469
Get out of the way. I'm going to jump.
20
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:20,140
Jump into that garden over there.
21
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,308
Are you telling me not to jump?
22
00:02:22,391 --> 00:02:24,936
There are many other ways
you could kill yourself.
23
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,605
We had instant connection.
24
00:02:26,687 --> 00:02:28,439
This man cares about me.
25
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,150
A little cup of poison.
26
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,404
- Dead.
- He gave me a reason to live.
27
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:34,487
Yes, we'll go and have a drink.
28
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:39,909
I will get my gun
and fill your heart full of bullets.
29
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,830
Yes, right in the heart.
30
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:45,915
It's crazy, but I love you, too.
31
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,960
He was a man of great compassion.
32
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,212
I'm losing patience with you.
33
00:02:50,294 --> 00:02:53,381
You're right.
Life really is worth living. I...
34
00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,468
No, no, no!
35
00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,805
No!
36
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,225
You saved me. I'm alive.
37
00:03:03,307 --> 00:03:05,394
Your giant vegetable saved me.
38
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,312
- Don't... Yes.
- Thank you, my new friend.
39
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,147
- Please not...
- I'm in your debt forever.
40
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:10,566
Please don't destroy any more of it.
41
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:12,985
Oh, God.
42
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:14,486
It has been my honor...
43
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,362
- John Watson.
- Yes. Hi.
44
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,407
- ...ever since.
- Sherlock Holmes.
45
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,989
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
46
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:01,241
Moriarty's crime spree over!
47
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:04,994
Professor James Moriarty
faces justice today!
48
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,581
The Napoleon of crime on trial!
49
00:04:07,663 --> 00:04:09,832
Greatest criminal in the empire!
50
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:10,918
That's fake news.
51
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,962
Professor James Moriarty.
52
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,757
You have been the organizer
of half that is evil
53
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:20,218
and all that goes undetected
in this great city.
54
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:25,389
Today, you are charged
with murder in the first degree,
55
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:28,769
but all the witnesses have died.
56
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,856
Without said witnesses,
we have no choice but to set you free.
57
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:39,362
Inspector Lestrade,
58
00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:42,366
you simply must take
better care of your witnesses.
59
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:47,161
Mark my words,
60
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,706
Sherlock Holmes is on his way,
and with him,
61
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,543
the evidence that will damn you
to the noose.
62
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,170
Then we should all pray he arrives soon,
63
00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:58,966
for on the strike of noon,
I shall have to release this menace.
64
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,550
Sherlock will be here.
65
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,179
He is about to burst
through those doors right now.
66
00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:13,814
Stop this trial at once!
67
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:19,610
I, Sherlock Holmes, have solved the case
of Professor James Moriarty.
68
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,406
Wonderful. Wonderful, Holmes.
69
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:25,116
A dramatic entrance worthy
of your greatest achievement.
70
00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:30,663
Watson, did you notice my emphasis
on "Professor James Moriarty"?
71
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,081
Yes, with the finger, yes.
72
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,584
- Much better than the hand.
- Yes.
73
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,669
Instead of the karate chop,
I went to the index finger.
74
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,088
Yes, it's the best one yet.
75
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,132
This is the moment
everyone's been waiting for.
76
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,215
Right here.
77
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,343
Yes, and they're literally
waiting for it now.
78
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,096
- Oh, yes.
- You must get dressed.
79
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,389
- Yes?
- Very well.
80
00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:49,057
There we are. There are your things.
81
00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,225
- Remember, trial of the century.
- Yes.
82
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:53,353
We have but... Let's see now...
83
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,189
Just 16 minutes left, Holmes.
84
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,731
Speed is of the essence.
85
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,983
- Nearly there?
- Nearly there.
86
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,986
A sniff of morning cocaine
always helps the brain.
87
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,949
Come now, Sherlock.
You mustn't let that trial conclude.
88
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,495
For this occasion,
I have selected a new hat.
89
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:13,206
From now on, when people utter
the name "Sherlock Holmes,"
90
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,540
they will picture...
91
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,209
This.
92
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:19,838
Brilliant.
93
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,255
Can we go?
94
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,424
Your furrowed brow
betrays your lying lips.
95
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:24,802
Oh, no.
96
00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,261
Not to worry.
97
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,723
Hey there, cowboy.
98
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,725
- That's the one.
- Bang, bang.
99
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,268
We should leave, yes?
100
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,061
Aye, aye.
101
00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,855
I say, I like that one very much.
102
00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:39,191
You don't want to be late, Mr. Holmes.
103
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,735
Mrs. Hudson,
what do you think of this one?
104
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:43,986
Me?
105
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,698
I'm just a housekeeper
from the Glasgow slums.
106
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,534
The likes of me telling the likes of you
107
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:51,245
what to put on his noggin?
108
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,495
Good point.
109
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,456
Back to your monkey work, Hudson.
110
00:06:57,125 --> 00:07:00,253
- Perfect, right?
- May I show you a few more hats?
111
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,046
- No!
- Someone's left a wee box.
112
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,339
What are you going on about?
113
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,217
I never even heard anyone knocking.
114
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,760
Did you hear anything?
115
00:07:07,845 --> 00:07:09,221
How very queer.
116
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,474
Queerer and queerer.
117
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,102
Very odd.
118
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,355
Watson, no.
119
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,065
Holmes, why are you getting
so exercised?
120
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,692
It's merely an empty box.
121
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:27,197
Watson, this is sent from Moriarty.
He means to kill us.
122
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,031
Listen.
123
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,369
Shut that window.
124
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,204
If this winged menace escapes,
it may cause a pandemic.
125
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,497
A killer mosquito?
126
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,625
The insect is infected
with African plague.
127
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,377
One bite means death.
128
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,296
Now, dance a Dutch jig.
129
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:50,678
You don't have to ask me twice
to do a Dutch jig, but why?
130
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:53,431
Your body heat will attract him
to dine on your flesh.
131
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:54,640
Brilliant.
132
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,186
Hold! Don't move.
133
00:07:57,603 --> 00:07:59,103
- Where is it?
- Right there.
134
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,855
Right there on your forehead.
135
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:02,775
- Kill it, Holmes.
- I'm going to kill it.
136
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,943
- There it is. Don't move.
- Where?
137
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,946
- And hold. No.
- No, no, no.
138
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,115
No, hold.
139
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,200
Is it biting?
140
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:15,495
I hear it.
141
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:19,665
I see it.
142
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,086
The tip!
143
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,047
Don't worry, boys, I brought a net.
144
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,809
It is now seven minutes before noon.
145
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:43,857
Upon the lowering of my gavel,
the charges shall be dismissed.
146
00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:47,945
I shall raise my gavel
in the air like so,
147
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,447
and then bring it down briskly,
148
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,618
making a satisfying bang,
149
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:59,373
at which point the prisoner
shall go free.
150
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,010
Angle of approach.
151
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,555
Compensate for warp in floor.
152
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,225
Account for resistance
due to dust motes.
153
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:21,602
Probable outcome:
termination of mosquito,
154
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:24,188
integrity of bee habitat maintained,
155
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,608
deadly bee swarm averted.
156
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,656
The mosquito's vanquished.
157
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,949
Well done, Holmes.
158
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:38,537
It's a simple matter of geometry,
entomology and physics.
159
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,709
Oh, my God!
160
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:45,793
Oh, shit!
161
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,588
Watson, stop panicking!
162
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,340
We can disable the queen.
163
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,259
It's making them angry, Holmes!
164
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,516
Oh, my God. What are they doing?
165
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,019
They're turning this way!
166
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,812
Just do anything! Help me!
167
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,941
- It's working!
- No!
168
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,485
It's not working!
169
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,694
- Get it off!
- It's not working!
170
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,823
Holmes, we retreat.
171
00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:17,201
Run for safety. I'll lead them away.
172
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,350
Stop this trial!
173
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:54,071
May I present to you
the greatest detective of all time.
174
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:56,072
Solver of the unsolvable.
175
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:57,990
Untier of Gordian knots.
176
00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,119
Bester of conundrums.
177
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,163
The great Sherlock Holmes.
178
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,625
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
179
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,798
Stop this trial at once!
180
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,847
Thank goodness
you've arrived, Mr. Holmes.
181
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,809
Now, what startling
new evidence do you have
182
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,894
- for the court?
- I am the evidence.
183
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:30,481
Inspector Lestrade
called upon me for assistance,
184
00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:33,652
for he lacked the mental capacity
to solve it himself.
185
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,904
The inspector is a handsome man.
186
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,490
Ruddy. Strapping.
187
00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,869
Legs like oaken trunks.
188
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,370
Teeth like ivory.
189
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:48,332
And yet his wife is of hideous visage,
terrible to look upon.
190
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,418
They say her gaze curdles milk.
191
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,044
- What?
- Who says that?
192
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,589
Face like a pig's rectum.
193
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,257
- Geoffrey.
- Holmes!
194
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,884
Close those pillowy lips.
195
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,052
I am under oath!
196
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,471
Actually, you're not under oath.
197
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,306
Not under yours.
198
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,100
Under my own sworn duty as a detective.
199
00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:09,645
I cannot allow my brain
to be clouded with feelings.
200
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:10,773
Now...
201
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,107
I recall the day vividly.
202
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:15,527
I arrived at the crime scene alone,
203
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,697
completely and utterly alone.
204
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:23,993
I meticulously inspected
every nook and cranny of that study,
205
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,995
hunting for clues,
206
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,291
much like a panther stalks its prey.
207
00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:39,468
And as I stood there, I began to employ
a groundbreaking new technique.
208
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:40,719
Right there.
209
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,138
Behold, fingerprints!
210
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:48,309
Imagine a print
being taken from a finger.
211
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:49,644
I love it.
212
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,563
How do these prove Moriarty's guilt?
213
00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,110
Watson.
214
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,407
Moriarty would never
leave a trail of clues,
215
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:04,993
which begs the question,
"Why was this crime scene
216
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:08,913
"so uncharacteristically
littered with fingerprints?"
217
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,206
Good work, Watson.
218
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:11,833
Thank you. I just thought
of what you might have done.
219
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,836
I compared these prints
220
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,462
to those of the man standing before you.
221
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,548
A perfect match.
222
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,426
Unequivocal proof that this man
223
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,136
is innocent.
224
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,346
What?
225
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:28,224
But if those are Moriarty's prints,
then Moriarty is the murderer.
226
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,726
This man is not Moriarty.
227
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:32,604
He sure looks like Moriarty.
228
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,813
He's an impostor.
229
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:36,525
His name is Jacob Musgrave.
230
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,860
A complete look-alike. A doppelgänger.
231
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:42,990
A patsy framed to hang
for Moriarty's crimes
232
00:13:43,157 --> 00:13:45,743
so that I may abandon my pursuit of him
233
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,662
and he can begin life anew in America.
234
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,415
Why would an innocent man agree
to hang for Moriarty's crimes?
235
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:53,666
Elementary.
236
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,085
This man is terminally ill.
237
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:58,046
Look at him, his pallid complexion,
238
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,882
the palsy in his left hand.
239
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:03,177
Wait, I know. He's an onanist.
240
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:06,346
Yes, of the most enthusiastic kind.
241
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:07,806
What's an onanist?
242
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,600
He... Let's see.
243
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,394
He pours his own tea.
244
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:17,899
He likes to create his own sauce.
245
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,610
He is a saucier.
246
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,947
And the name of his restaurant
is Crotch Kitchen.
247
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:28,285
On a daily basis,
he creams his own éclair.
248
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:32,581
He is Romeo and Juliet.
249
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:33,874
That should do it.
250
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,501
This here!
251
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:37,836
He's a wanker!
252
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:38,920
Thank you.
253
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,214
Sorry, ladies.
254
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:44,176
This chap here had nothing to lose
by being executed.
255
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:47,262
He was literally dying by his own hand.
256
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,222
It causes death, you see.
257
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:52,600
The infallible Sherlock Holmes
has indeed spoken.
258
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:56,270
In light of his testimony,
I order the release of the suspect.
259
00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:58,565
What? This is an outrage!
260
00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:01,192
Do not let this murderer free.
261
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,778
Bang, bang, bang!
262
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,238
Court is adjourned.
263
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,365
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
264
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,703
Why are you cheering?
265
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:14,997
Sherlock!
266
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,626
Sherlock! Sherlock! Sherlock!
267
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,129
That couldn't have gone better.
268
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,422
It couldn't have.
269
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,131
And I tell you, that case was rather...
270
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:25,759
It took us three years to catch him.
271
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,261
If we release him now,
we may never find him again.
272
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:31,974
Put aside your ego and admit I am right.
273
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:35,185
I am afraid
Moriarty's long gone to America.
274
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:40,732
Whatever crimes Moriarty commits
from now on are on your head.
275
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,528
I quite like seeing Lestrade upset.
276
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,237
Yeah. I do, too.
277
00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:54,747
Professor James Moriarty
fled to the Americas
278
00:15:54,830 --> 00:16:00,919
and would never darken England again.
279
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:07,301
What a fine ending
to my final book of our adventures.
280
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:10,178
All there is left to do now
is to let the ink dry
281
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,513
on this one copy of my manuscript.
282
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,230
No.
283
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:23,317
Fucking son of a...
284
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,282
Holmes.
285
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,284
Are you upset?
286
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,120
It's just that Moriarty
was the whetstone
287
00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,290
upon which I sharpened my mental blade.
288
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:41,835
With him gone,
not there to challenge me, why go on?
289
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:47,758
Instead, I shall occupy my great,
great mind with nutritional science.
290
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:52,011
My research suggests that the sulfurous
compounds of the common onion
291
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:54,597
can increase your red blood cells.
292
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,225
Vital for human health.
293
00:16:57,518 --> 00:16:59,394
Just bite it like an apple?
294
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,567
Definitely takes four or five bites.
295
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,364
Are we meant to eat the whole thing?
296
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:11,697
The whole thing.
297
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,410
Let the juice slither down
the back of your throat.
298
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,164
Congratulations, Holmes.
299
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,085
You're not only
the smartest man in London,
300
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,128
you shall soon be the healthiest.
301
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,462
Indeed.
302
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,384
Now, where's my opium?
303
00:17:32,428 --> 00:17:33,512
Mrs. Hudson!
304
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,556
- Hudson!
- Hudson!
305
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:36,639
Help!
306
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:39,143
Hudson, Watson has stuck
a carrot up my bum!
307
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,477
Hudson, help!
308
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,562
- Fire!
- Call the police!
309
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,272
Hudson, your mother has died!
310
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,150
You brain-dead bag of bones!
311
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:50,319
- Hudson!
- Hudson!
312
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,739
Hudson, where are you?
313
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,491
Did you not hear any of that?
314
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,536
- We screamed "fire."
- Where?
315
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,245
And we were screaming your name.
316
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,038
You were just there in my bedroom?
317
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:08,172
Supawn and succotash.
318
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,798
The great Sherlock Holmes.
319
00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:12,968
- I am Mark...
- You curl your R's,
320
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:16,846
indicating a native from
a less-educated United State.
321
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,598
Namely, Missouri.
322
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,184
Smudge of ink on your waistcoat,
323
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:24,480
index finger of your right hand
calloused from a quill.
324
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,733
You are the writer
of popular fiction, Mark Twain.
325
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,653
But can you deduce
what we've been up to?
326
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,530
I'll give you a clue.
327
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,784
It rhymes with "Huck Finn."
328
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,452
Hudson. How many times have I told you
329
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,830
about bringing men into
our home for your trolloping?
330
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,664
Were you rooting in my room?
331
00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:46,710
I'm sorry.
332
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:50,379
I just cannae help myself
when it comes to pleasures of the flesh.
333
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,633
Shame, you dirty girl.
334
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,509
I promise it won't happen again.
335
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,385
The next time I go to confession,
336
00:18:56,470 --> 00:19:01,892
I'll add 12 Hail Marys
for my sins of carnality.
337
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,435
It reeks of exposed loins.
338
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,730
Just take your amorous American
and be gone.
339
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,150
Out. More writing
and less fornicating, Twain.
340
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,527
All right.
341
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,904
- Shut up.
- Come on.
342
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:18,325
No wonder my room always smells
like fish pie and semen.
343
00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:24,123
This came for you.
344
00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:29,253
Sealed by hands unused to manual labor.
345
00:19:32,798 --> 00:19:35,759
Saliva from a protein-rich diet
of chicken kidneys.
346
00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:38,429
Why, Watson, it's from the Queen.
347
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,307
Seems Her Majesty requests my services.
348
00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:45,144
A crime that has baffled
even her closest advisors,
349
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,063
and only my singular intellect
can solve it.
350
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,605
Well, well, well.
351
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,607
Look who's back in the game.
352
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,027
Watson, are you all right?
353
00:19:55,112 --> 00:19:56,654
I'm just very nervous.
354
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,948
I've not met the Queen before.
355
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,455
- Deep breath.
- Your Majesty,
356
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,499
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson.
357
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,794
Oh, my God, it's really her.
358
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:22,806
Watson.
359
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:24,767
Say something.
360
00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:27,435
I love you.
361
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:32,316
I know I am duty-bound to serve you,
but let me just say on a personal note,
362
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,150
- I really like you.
- Stop touching her.
363
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,276
Just as a fan.
364
00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:38,572
Please, sir. Don't touch the Queen.
365
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,032
Quite right.
366
00:20:41,575 --> 00:20:42,951
Sorry, Your Majesty.
367
00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:44,745
You look a lot smaller in person.
368
00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:48,164
- Just stop.
- Sorry. It's true.
369
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,750
Just stop talking.
370
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:51,168
- Yes.
- Stop talking.
371
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,586
I'm crazy about your look.
372
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,089
What did I say?
373
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,424
- Am I still talking out loud?
- You are.
374
00:20:58,049 --> 00:20:59,884
- It's just the Queen.
- Yes.
375
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:02,721
- Okay.
- Okay.
376
00:21:02,805 --> 00:21:06,682
Your Majesty,
how may we be of service to the realm?
377
00:21:06,767 --> 00:21:09,269
Mr. Holmes, pray follow us.
378
00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:11,395
There is danger about.
379
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,942
What a looker, right?
380
00:21:15,025 --> 00:21:16,485
She is stunning in person.
381
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,488
Fear not, Your Majesty,
382
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:23,574
Sherlock will allow no harm
to come to you, and neither will I.
383
00:21:23,659 --> 00:21:28,705
Five, four, three, two, one.
384
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,249
Surprise!
385
00:21:30,749 --> 00:21:32,375
Thank you.
386
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,420
Had I been a non-genius
such as yourselves,
387
00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:38,673
there's a 72% chance
I would have been surprised.
388
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,675
72%.
389
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,512
Happy birthday, Sherlock Holmes.
390
00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:47,807
We wish you well and thank you
for your many years...
391
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:51,394
Your many years of public service.
392
00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:56,482
- So, Holmes.
- Yes.
393
00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:57,567
When did you know?
394
00:21:57,651 --> 00:21:58,902
Tuesday.
395
00:21:58,986 --> 00:22:00,237
Really?
396
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,655
You were seven minutes late coming home.
397
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:06,993
Stopped at the stationer's,
confirmed by the scent of paper mulch.
398
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:08,537
You have the nose of a bloodhound.
399
00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:11,289
Your mustache betrayed
a dusting of crumbs.
400
00:22:11,457 --> 00:22:13,667
Evidence of cake sampling.
401
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:15,877
Guilty.
402
00:22:15,961 --> 00:22:19,338
And you purchased a case
of pre-phylloxera champagne.
403
00:22:19,423 --> 00:22:23,218
You lack the self-esteem to buy yourself
such an extravagant bottle.
404
00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:25,178
It's true.
405
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,138
I don't deserve nice things.
406
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:35,271
For he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow
407
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:39,108
For he's a jolly good fellow
408
00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:41,360
And so say all of us
409
00:22:42,738 --> 00:22:43,864
Bravo.
410
00:22:45,156 --> 00:22:46,324
Thank you.
411
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,950
That was delightful.
412
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,703
A layer cake!
413
00:22:50,788 --> 00:22:52,205
It's shaped like a magnifying glass.
414
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,331
Yes!
415
00:22:57,086 --> 00:22:59,337
The second layer is rather thick.
416
00:23:01,381 --> 00:23:03,842
There must be a few nuts
in there. If I may.
417
00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:06,010
- Would you mind?
- Here. Yes, of course.
418
00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:09,305
Do you see what I'm talking about?
419
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,431
Yes.
420
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,017
Raspberry jam.
421
00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:14,728
My weakness.
422
00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:16,187
I know what I need.
423
00:23:17,397 --> 00:23:18,898
What the... He's getting an ax!
424
00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:20,442
- Brilliant.
- Charge!
425
00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:26,490
Stand back. Back, everyone, I say.
426
00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:29,034
A murder in Buckingham Palace.
427
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,660
Look, a note. There.
428
00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:33,746
Right under your nose.
429
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:41,963
"A birthday present for you, Sherlock.
430
00:23:42,047 --> 00:23:44,298
"A crime to challenge your wits.
431
00:23:44,383 --> 00:23:46,802
"Stop me in four days' time,
or I will destroy
432
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,054
"London's greatest marvel
and kill the Queen,
433
00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:51,013
"and I will rewrite history."
434
00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:54,225
Signed "Professor James Moriarty."
435
00:23:55,853 --> 00:23:59,189
This is Jimmy Gruber,
the witness who disappeared,
436
00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:01,775
whose testimony prompted
Moriarty's arrest
437
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,278
and whom Moriarty swore to kill.
438
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:05,821
And your conclusion?
439
00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:12,452
That Moriarty has killed again,
as I predicted.
440
00:24:13,537 --> 00:24:15,038
The most obvious conclusion.
441
00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:18,417
No, this is definitely the work
442
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:21,252
of someone who is going
to extraordinary lengths
443
00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:24,173
to make it appear
as if Moriarty committed these crimes.
444
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,383
- Sherlock Holmes.
- The Queen.
445
00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:31,305
We charge you with the task
of stopping this criminal
446
00:24:31,387 --> 00:24:32,847
before he can do us harm.
447
00:24:33,557 --> 00:24:36,852
Solve this case on behalf
of your queen and country.
448
00:24:37,019 --> 00:24:38,311
- I will.
- We will.
449
00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:39,520
But, Your Majesty...
450
00:24:39,605 --> 00:24:42,274
Sherlock Holmes has never failed us.
451
00:24:42,482 --> 00:24:44,442
The bold ingenuity of this crime
452
00:24:44,526 --> 00:24:46,945
calls me back
to the profession of detecting
453
00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:48,571
like a siren song.
454
00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:50,406
I won't let anyone hurt you.
455
00:24:50,490 --> 00:24:52,283
Watson. To the morgue.
456
00:24:52,451 --> 00:24:54,787
Lestrade, clean this mess up now.
457
00:24:54,869 --> 00:24:57,246
- The game is a-starting.
- Yeah.
458
00:25:01,710 --> 00:25:04,546
Who is this copycat
pretending to be Moriarty?
459
00:25:04,712 --> 00:25:07,382
Finally, a problem worthy of my brain.
460
00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:09,134
This birthday cake is delicious.
461
00:25:09,218 --> 00:25:10,635
Did you get a chance to try it?
462
00:25:10,803 --> 00:25:12,387
No, there was a corpse in it.
463
00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:16,057
What the...
464
00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:18,059
Watson?
465
00:25:19,353 --> 00:25:20,813
Oh, my goodness.
466
00:25:22,730 --> 00:25:23,816
Finders keepers.
467
00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:24,899
Yeah.
468
00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:28,028
Are you sure you wouldn't
rather wait out here?
469
00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:29,737
The last time you were
in the morgue, you...
470
00:25:29,821 --> 00:25:33,825
Watson, I am a man
of stout constitution.
471
00:25:33,909 --> 00:25:36,745
Yes, of course.
I just thought, after the last time,
472
00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:38,204
with the...
473
00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:40,332
And the...
474
00:25:41,208 --> 00:25:43,252
Merely a bout of stomach influenza.
475
00:25:43,419 --> 00:25:44,628
Yes, but the time before that?
476
00:25:44,795 --> 00:25:47,047
- Bad clams.
- And before that?
477
00:25:47,131 --> 00:25:48,715
I shook hands with a prostitute.
478
00:25:48,798 --> 00:25:50,134
Yes.
479
00:25:50,884 --> 00:25:53,761
No. Put that away.
480
00:25:53,846 --> 00:25:58,349
I'm not some vaporous,
giggling, fainting maiden who...
481
00:26:05,315 --> 00:26:06,607
Oh, ye of little...
482
00:26:10,362 --> 00:26:11,779
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
483
00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:14,657
I think I'm starting to feel a bit...
484
00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:15,783
I wouldn't...
485
00:26:15,867 --> 00:26:18,119
- Are you...
- No, I'm fine.
486
00:26:18,202 --> 00:26:20,705
'Cause if you start to feel sick,
then I'll start to feel...
487
00:26:25,794 --> 00:26:28,172
- Surely I must be done.
- Yes.
488
00:26:28,255 --> 00:26:30,007
Next to impossible to still...
489
00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:38,681
There you are.
490
00:26:38,766 --> 00:26:40,601
- All done.
- Yes, there.
491
00:26:41,769 --> 00:26:43,644
- Would you like some water?
- Did you say water...
492
00:26:44,563 --> 00:26:45,855
Sorry. I'm sorry.
493
00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:48,232
Shall we begin the autopsy?
494
00:26:48,901 --> 00:26:51,028
Thank goodness
these cleaning women are here
495
00:26:51,111 --> 00:26:52,278
to clean up this dreadful mess.
496
00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:53,489
Someone's made sick.
497
00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:56,575
My dear Watson, these women
498
00:26:56,657 --> 00:26:58,367
are far too well-dressed
to be cleaning women.
499
00:26:58,535 --> 00:27:02,498
They're here to identify
their well-to-do husbands' bodies.
500
00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:04,040
Sorry for your loss.
501
00:27:04,208 --> 00:27:06,543
Thank you, but I am the doctor.
502
00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:10,047
Look, Watson,
grief has scrambled her brain.
503
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:12,007
She thinks she's a doctor.
504
00:27:12,090 --> 00:27:15,301
Fortunately, Miss,
there's a real doctor here
505
00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:16,595
who may help you.
506
00:27:16,929 --> 00:27:18,180
Would you like some heroin?
507
00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:20,723
Dr. Watson, I presume.
508
00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:23,018
And you must be Sherlock Holmes.
509
00:27:23,102 --> 00:27:25,144
Dr. Grace Hart of Boston.
510
00:27:25,854 --> 00:27:27,523
A woman doctor?
511
00:27:27,605 --> 00:27:30,025
- What times we live in.
- Yes.
512
00:27:30,442 --> 00:27:32,903
In America, we're much more progressive.
513
00:27:32,986 --> 00:27:35,781
I now make 30 cents
for every dollar a man earns.
514
00:27:35,864 --> 00:27:38,491
What does "doctor" mean in America?
515
00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:40,326
It means "doctor."
516
00:27:40,411 --> 00:27:42,371
You're Dr. G. Hart?
517
00:27:42,453 --> 00:27:44,163
- Of Boston?
- Yes.
518
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:46,875
Holmes, we're in the presence
of a pioneer.
519
00:27:46,959 --> 00:27:49,670
Dr. Hart's work with the use
of electroshock therapy
520
00:27:49,752 --> 00:27:52,047
to cure female hysteria
is groundbreaking.
521
00:27:52,131 --> 00:27:56,051
Yes, I proved the higher the voltage,
the more demons are released.
522
00:27:56,134 --> 00:27:57,301
Well, of course.
523
00:27:57,385 --> 00:27:59,387
Some of my patients live
as long as a week.
524
00:27:59,471 --> 00:28:02,057
Doctor? Spelled D-O-C-T-O-R?
525
00:28:02,141 --> 00:28:03,683
Yes.
526
00:28:04,143 --> 00:28:05,978
This is my aide, Millicent.
527
00:28:06,561 --> 00:28:09,689
She's very shy,
but a wonderful traveling companion.
528
00:28:10,441 --> 00:28:13,067
Shall we proceed to the examination?
529
00:28:13,736 --> 00:28:15,738
- Please.
- Our cadaver awaits.
530
00:28:17,823 --> 00:28:19,199
No, no, no.
531
00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:20,616
Here.
532
00:28:21,326 --> 00:28:23,162
Mr. Holmes, you look rather unwell.
533
00:28:23,244 --> 00:28:26,539
Perhaps you would rather stay here
and keep Millicent company.
534
00:28:29,710 --> 00:28:30,961
Sherlock Holmes.
535
00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:32,336
Charmed to meet...
536
00:28:34,673 --> 00:28:35,758
To meet you.
537
00:28:36,467 --> 00:28:38,634
Millicent is the subject of my research.
538
00:28:38,719 --> 00:28:40,804
She was raised by feral cats.
539
00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:43,055
She has the mental capacity
of a four-year-old,
540
00:28:43,140 --> 00:28:46,226
but it is my belief that
with sufficient electroshock therapy,
541
00:28:46,309 --> 00:28:49,145
she can achieve the intellect
of a six-year-old.
542
00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:51,230
We are truly
in the golden age of medicine.
543
00:28:51,315 --> 00:28:52,857
There's nothing left to learn.
544
00:28:52,941 --> 00:28:53,942
No.
545
00:28:55,903 --> 00:28:57,488
What a creature you are.
546
00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:11,460
You're devouring that onion
with such passion.
547
00:29:14,546 --> 00:29:16,048
It's strangely arousing.
548
00:29:17,633 --> 00:29:18,967
Dr. Watson, I have always
549
00:29:19,050 --> 00:29:22,386
been taken by your unwavering
devotion to Mr. Holmes,
550
00:29:22,471 --> 00:29:25,932
but haven't you ever
considered something more?
551
00:29:27,101 --> 00:29:29,561
Perhaps a co-detective?
552
00:29:31,771 --> 00:29:33,439
He and I?
553
00:29:33,523 --> 00:29:34,649
Co-detectives?
554
00:29:34,732 --> 00:29:35,733
Yes.
555
00:29:36,151 --> 00:29:37,653
The very idea!
556
00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:40,446
Solving crimes together?
557
00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:43,908
Laughing and enjoying
the esprit de corps
558
00:29:43,991 --> 00:29:46,662
of two best friends
pursuing a noble cause.
559
00:29:46,744 --> 00:29:48,287
Madness. No, dear.
560
00:29:48,372 --> 00:29:50,833
No, not I.
561
00:29:52,125 --> 00:29:53,460
Not here.
562
00:29:54,336 --> 00:29:58,548
Not even in my most rapturous moments
of private fantasy.
563
00:30:04,430 --> 00:30:07,975
Anyway, let's go clean
this cake-covered bastard, shall we?
564
00:30:11,854 --> 00:30:13,814
The wonders of modern medicine.
565
00:30:17,859 --> 00:30:20,194
Now, you're going to laugh,
566
00:30:20,278 --> 00:30:22,489
but I found the most important
tool of an autopsy is...
567
00:30:22,573 --> 00:30:23,657
Music.
568
00:30:25,075 --> 00:30:26,326
Yes.
569
00:30:26,410 --> 00:30:27,452
You, too?
570
00:30:37,336 --> 00:30:39,298
This one always gets me in the mood.
571
00:30:41,633 --> 00:30:43,177
So begins the dance...
572
00:30:52,769 --> 00:30:54,437
You have some dribble.
573
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,315
Just a touch of dribble right...
574
00:31:07,826 --> 00:31:12,247
There is something so sensual
about forensic autopsy, isn't there?
575
00:31:35,729 --> 00:31:37,189
You are a delight.
576
00:31:37,647 --> 00:31:40,525
Your eyes say more
than words ever could.
577
00:31:45,989 --> 00:31:49,992
The tincture of ammonia and scrotum.
578
00:31:50,451 --> 00:31:52,371
Hello, Inspector Lestrade.
579
00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:56,165
We have combed the manifests
580
00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:59,127
of every ship to set sail
for the Americas
581
00:31:59,211 --> 00:32:02,338
and found not a single Moriarty.
582
00:32:02,423 --> 00:32:05,592
Moriarty's too cunning
to use his own name.
583
00:32:05,675 --> 00:32:07,343
He's sailing under an alias.
584
00:32:08,386 --> 00:32:09,471
Here we are.
585
00:32:09,555 --> 00:32:11,807
So, after a thorough...
586
00:32:11,973 --> 00:32:13,349
Very thorough.
587
00:32:15,269 --> 00:32:17,019
- Stop.
- No, you stop.
588
00:32:18,063 --> 00:32:20,065
...examination of the body...
589
00:32:20,148 --> 00:32:24,694
And I must say, Dr. Hart made some
beautiful lateral incisions there.
590
00:32:24,778 --> 00:32:29,866
No, watching you flay the skin
from his face so gently.
591
00:32:29,950 --> 00:32:32,286
- I would flay a thousand faces for you.
- And the way...
592
00:32:32,368 --> 00:32:33,870
Just tell me what you found!
593
00:32:34,371 --> 00:32:36,081
Yes.
594
00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:37,750
Cause of death indeterminate.
595
00:32:37,833 --> 00:32:39,168
Indeterminate?
596
00:32:39,250 --> 00:32:40,543
What do you mean?
597
00:32:40,626 --> 00:32:42,171
It means he doesn't know.
598
00:32:43,046 --> 00:32:44,465
- Proceed, Watson.
- Yes.
599
00:32:44,882 --> 00:32:48,802
We found a freshly applied
tattoo of a cross
600
00:32:48,969 --> 00:32:51,346
and the numbers one and 20.
601
00:32:51,846 --> 00:32:53,682
I have the oddest feeling.
602
00:32:54,098 --> 00:32:56,350
It's like knowing, but the opposite.
603
00:32:56,518 --> 00:32:57,978
Meaning you haven't a clue.
604
00:32:58,060 --> 00:33:01,522
Who is this genius pretender
who's taken Moriarty's place,
605
00:33:01,606 --> 00:33:04,151
committing crimes
exactly the way he would?
606
00:33:05,861 --> 00:33:07,821
A fantastic new case.
607
00:33:07,904 --> 00:33:10,156
I'm aroused
both mentally and physically.
608
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,951
I was wondering, rather than
working beside you on this case,
609
00:33:14,036 --> 00:33:16,663
I might work with you as a sort of...
610
00:33:16,913 --> 00:33:18,664
Grace called it a "co-detective."
611
00:33:19,124 --> 00:33:23,045
One cannot simply just
make someone a detective.
612
00:33:23,127 --> 00:33:24,462
It must be earned.
613
00:33:24,546 --> 00:33:27,007
Well, I deduced you might say that.
614
00:33:27,090 --> 00:33:31,928
Which is why, when we arrive home,
I propose a game of chess.
615
00:33:32,721 --> 00:33:34,181
If I should best you,
616
00:33:34,263 --> 00:33:36,224
then surely
I possess the mental power...
617
00:33:36,307 --> 00:33:38,769
Checkmate!
618
00:33:38,935 --> 00:33:41,062
What? We haven't started yet.
619
00:33:41,355 --> 00:33:42,980
You would have opened
with the Queen's Gambit.
620
00:33:43,523 --> 00:33:45,233
Indeed. A reliable first move.
621
00:33:45,317 --> 00:33:46,902
I would have countered
with a Slav Defense.
622
00:33:47,778 --> 00:33:49,863
An audacious move. Quite unexpected.
623
00:33:49,946 --> 00:33:52,407
You would have panicked,
thus exposing your queen.
624
00:33:52,490 --> 00:33:53,491
No, not my queen!
625
00:33:53,575 --> 00:33:57,078
Seeing your queen exposed
would have compelled you to defend her.
626
00:33:57,162 --> 00:34:00,124
Indeed. It is my duty in chess,
as in life.
627
00:34:00,207 --> 00:34:02,251
Thereby neglecting my castle.
628
00:34:04,461 --> 00:34:05,671
Checkmate.
629
00:34:06,963 --> 00:34:08,257
Perhaps another game?
630
00:34:08,340 --> 00:34:10,175
Rock-paper-scissors.
631
00:34:10,259 --> 00:34:12,677
Rock, rock, paper, paper,
scissors, paper,
632
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,846
rock, scissors, paper, rock.
633
00:34:15,722 --> 00:34:16,723
Dash it all!
634
00:34:16,806 --> 00:34:18,099
What about Battleship?
635
00:34:18,266 --> 00:34:20,852
D-three, E-three, F-three and G-three.
636
00:34:20,936 --> 00:34:23,105
Damn it, you've sunk my battleship.
637
00:34:23,188 --> 00:34:25,023
You're a good man, Watson,
638
00:34:25,733 --> 00:34:27,192
but you're not ready.
639
00:34:28,485 --> 00:34:29,737
But why?
640
00:34:29,820 --> 00:34:32,114
If you were ready, you'd know why.
641
00:34:42,916 --> 00:34:44,501
Let the game begin.
642
00:34:45,085 --> 00:34:46,586
A piece for a piece.
643
00:34:47,336 --> 00:34:48,880
Two can play at that game.
644
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:13,447
Peekaboo.
645
00:35:17,617 --> 00:35:18,701
Checkmate.
646
00:35:19,369 --> 00:35:21,663
And to the victor, the spoils.
647
00:35:25,291 --> 00:35:26,793
You'll never be co-detective.
648
00:35:32,965 --> 00:35:35,802
Watson, I'm near a breakthrough.
649
00:35:35,969 --> 00:35:41,809
My hypothesis is the true cause of death
is ink poisoning via the fresh tattoo.
650
00:35:41,891 --> 00:35:43,309
But I need your help.
651
00:35:45,896 --> 00:35:47,523
You want me to be co-detective?
652
00:35:49,108 --> 00:35:51,485
I'm awfully sorry, Dr. Watson.
653
00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:53,319
Sorry for what?
654
00:35:53,403 --> 00:35:55,155
Mr. Holmes left me no choice.
655
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:57,615
- May you rest in peace.
- What's she on about?
656
00:35:57,699 --> 00:36:01,619
All will be clear in three, two, one.
657
00:36:03,996 --> 00:36:04,998
Excuse me.
658
00:36:05,081 --> 00:36:06,290
I'll take that.
659
00:36:06,583 --> 00:36:08,251
It's just something caught in my throat.
660
00:36:08,876 --> 00:36:10,128
Oh, no.
661
00:36:10,211 --> 00:36:11,463
I poisoned you.
662
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:12,881
Why?
663
00:36:12,965 --> 00:36:14,508
To test my theory.
664
00:36:14,590 --> 00:36:16,134
Am I going to die?
665
00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:17,510
No, I have an antidote.
666
00:36:18,302 --> 00:36:20,012
But I need to see it play out.
667
00:36:20,806 --> 00:36:22,224
Now, let's see here.
668
00:36:22,724 --> 00:36:24,226
Redness around the mouth. Good.
669
00:36:24,476 --> 00:36:25,477
Help me.
670
00:36:25,811 --> 00:36:28,188
You will have temporary brain damage.
671
00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:31,817
Wake up, Watson. Wake up.
672
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,318
We have work to do. Watson.
673
00:36:34,193 --> 00:36:35,903
Who's Watson? I'll kill him!
674
00:36:36,112 --> 00:36:37,321
You son of a bitch!
675
00:36:37,405 --> 00:36:38,489
Violent aggression.
676
00:36:38,574 --> 00:36:40,492
Please give me the antidote.
677
00:36:40,576 --> 00:36:41,827
Drama queen syndrome.
678
00:36:42,911 --> 00:36:44,163
Why am I doing this?
679
00:36:44,246 --> 00:36:45,456
Confused mime.
680
00:36:46,289 --> 00:36:48,458
Does this suit make me look fat?
681
00:36:48,541 --> 00:36:50,168
Body image dysmorphia.
682
00:36:51,043 --> 00:36:52,045
My eyes!
683
00:36:52,128 --> 00:36:54,297
- Sensitivity to light.
- My eyes! It burns!
684
00:36:55,673 --> 00:36:57,675
Excruciating abdominal pain.
685
00:36:58,427 --> 00:36:59,845
Yes, it's confirmed.
686
00:36:59,927 --> 00:37:01,971
It was poison. Come, Watson.
687
00:37:02,054 --> 00:37:03,306
Let us not be late.
688
00:37:05,476 --> 00:37:06,477
Of course.
689
00:37:06,559 --> 00:37:07,603
Lactation.
690
00:37:09,563 --> 00:37:11,440
- Why?
- Come along, Watson.
691
00:37:11,523 --> 00:37:12,775
I'll explain in the cab.
692
00:37:15,985 --> 00:37:17,153
There we go.
693
00:37:17,237 --> 00:37:18,947
Oh, thank God for this antidote.
694
00:37:19,030 --> 00:37:21,449
I feel as though
I've completely recovered.
695
00:37:22,326 --> 00:37:23,534
Yes, you have.
696
00:37:26,413 --> 00:37:27,498
There.
697
00:37:27,664 --> 00:37:28,749
So, where are we going?
698
00:37:28,916 --> 00:37:30,959
The fact that the victim was poisoned
699
00:37:31,043 --> 00:37:34,880
suggests the killer lacked
physical strength to overpower him.
700
00:37:35,047 --> 00:37:38,050
The tattoos you examined
have an uneven quality.
701
00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:41,969
It leads me to believe that
they were drawn by a one-armed man.
702
00:37:42,137 --> 00:37:44,556
A one-armed man.
703
00:37:44,639 --> 00:37:45,891
Yes.
704
00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:47,893
A weak man who would use poison.
705
00:37:47,976 --> 00:37:52,898
There is only one one-armed
tattoo artist in all of London.
706
00:37:53,065 --> 00:37:55,900
The nefarious Gustav Klinger.
707
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,363
Dorset Street!
And don't spare the horses!
708
00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:00,655
Dorset Street.
709
00:38:00,739 --> 00:38:04,492
Home of drunkards, thieves
and hairy, old whores.
710
00:38:04,742 --> 00:38:07,286
And, if my theory is correct,
the killer.
711
00:38:08,414 --> 00:38:09,832
Hello, gorgeous.
712
00:38:10,998 --> 00:38:14,752
Though all is calm now,
we must be on highest alert.
713
00:38:16,672 --> 00:38:19,925
Shall we ask someone if they've seen
our one-armed Mr. Klinger?
714
00:38:20,007 --> 00:38:23,469
This neighborhood
does not welcome curious outsiders.
715
00:38:23,554 --> 00:38:25,347
Excuse me. Have you the time?
716
00:38:25,514 --> 00:38:27,015
Not for you, outsider.
717
00:38:28,976 --> 00:38:30,602
Merciful God.
718
00:38:30,686 --> 00:38:32,271
We must blend in.
719
00:38:32,353 --> 00:38:36,357
Fortunately, my time tripping the boards
has made me a master of disguise.
720
00:38:36,442 --> 00:38:37,443
Yes.
721
00:38:44,157 --> 00:38:45,199
You.
722
00:38:45,284 --> 00:38:46,660
What have you done with Sherlock?
723
00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:48,077
Why, Watson...
724
00:38:49,288 --> 00:38:50,371
I never left.
725
00:38:52,666 --> 00:38:54,251
- Amazing.
- Yes, I know.
726
00:38:54,460 --> 00:38:56,753
Yes, you've outdone yourself this time.
727
00:38:56,836 --> 00:38:58,005
Now...
728
00:38:58,713 --> 00:38:59,965
No.
729
00:39:00,047 --> 00:39:01,507
- Still me.
- It's you?
730
00:39:01,592 --> 00:39:03,260
It's still Sherlock.
731
00:39:03,342 --> 00:39:05,303
- All right.
- Rest assured.
732
00:39:05,387 --> 00:39:06,638
It's very convincing.
733
00:39:06,804 --> 00:39:08,222
Now for your disguise.
734
00:39:09,056 --> 00:39:10,141
What will it be?
735
00:39:12,268 --> 00:39:15,396
Yes. You, my friend,
736
00:39:16,398 --> 00:39:21,612
shall play a down-on-your-luck
horseshit salesman.
737
00:39:22,362 --> 00:39:23,530
Yes.
738
00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:25,449
Yes.
739
00:39:25,782 --> 00:39:28,493
Come, Watson. We have
a one-armed killer to catch.
740
00:39:28,994 --> 00:39:30,037
Get into character.
741
00:39:30,119 --> 00:39:32,163
- Horseshit for sale!
- There you go.
742
00:39:32,246 --> 00:39:34,040
- Who will buy my horse's shit?
- I'll take some.
743
00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:37,335
No one must know our true purpose.
744
00:39:38,295 --> 00:39:39,378
What you toffs want?
745
00:39:39,922 --> 00:39:43,884
To buy a pint for any man
who can raise two hands.
746
00:39:47,221 --> 00:39:49,389
Every man has both arms.
747
00:39:49,681 --> 00:39:50,849
Klinger isn't here.
748
00:39:51,724 --> 00:39:53,059
Our journey continues.
749
00:39:53,893 --> 00:39:56,187
- Blend in like a common oaf.
- Yes.
750
00:39:58,398 --> 00:40:00,192
Keep drinking. We need to fit in.
751
00:40:00,275 --> 00:40:01,276
Cheers.
752
00:40:04,028 --> 00:40:05,780
More, more!
753
00:40:18,085 --> 00:40:19,461
They have boxing here.
754
00:40:19,545 --> 00:40:21,046
I don't care if he's small!
755
00:40:21,130 --> 00:40:22,923
- Kill!
- Come on, fight!
756
00:40:25,467 --> 00:40:26,844
Shouldn't we be looking for Klinger?
757
00:40:26,927 --> 00:40:28,887
- Who cares about Klinger?
- Exactly!
758
00:40:32,932 --> 00:40:34,143
Release the child!
759
00:40:34,226 --> 00:40:36,061
Let go of that boy! I want him dead!
760
00:40:36,144 --> 00:40:37,728
Sweet river of piss.
761
00:40:40,190 --> 00:40:41,567
You have real force there.
762
00:40:42,818 --> 00:40:44,236
Arc of stream.
763
00:40:44,318 --> 00:40:45,737
Direction of wind.
764
00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:47,655
Compensate for shy penis.
765
00:40:47,739 --> 00:40:49,574
Avoid splash on shoes.
766
00:40:50,826 --> 00:40:52,119
And release fluids.
767
00:40:52,202 --> 00:40:53,370
Oh, my goodness.
768
00:40:53,829 --> 00:40:56,707
Damn it, I forgot to unzip my pants.
769
00:40:57,331 --> 00:40:58,916
You really are a genius.
770
00:40:59,001 --> 00:41:00,085
- Watch it.
- Sorry.
771
00:41:01,420 --> 00:41:03,255
I should like to send a telegram.
772
00:41:04,047 --> 00:41:05,715
Grace. Stop.
773
00:41:07,925 --> 00:41:10,179
Are you awake? Stop.
774
00:41:12,681 --> 00:41:14,766
You're such a pretty doctor lady.
775
00:41:16,893 --> 00:41:18,561
Are you quite sure this is a good idea?
776
00:41:18,644 --> 00:41:20,021
This is wonderful.
777
00:41:20,105 --> 00:41:23,358
The combination of the late hour
and your drunkenness
778
00:41:23,442 --> 00:41:26,862
allows for communication
of exceptional honesty.
779
00:41:26,945 --> 00:41:27,946
Quite right.
780
00:41:28,030 --> 00:41:29,740
I will call it an intoxigram.
781
00:41:29,822 --> 00:41:32,366
And no one shall ever
regret sending one.
782
00:41:32,701 --> 00:41:35,454
Now, lay bare the fruits
of your inebriation.
783
00:41:35,536 --> 00:41:36,871
Ask her what she's wearing.
784
00:41:37,289 --> 00:41:39,166
What are you wearing? Stop.
785
00:41:39,708 --> 00:41:40,751
Bloomers?
786
00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:42,043
A brassiere?
787
00:41:42,126 --> 00:41:44,170
I'd wager you'd look good in anything.
788
00:41:44,253 --> 00:41:45,588
- Wonderful.
- Stop.
789
00:41:45,672 --> 00:41:47,757
Shall I ask what Millie
thinks about you?
790
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,970
I don't care. Sure. Why not?
791
00:41:52,054 --> 00:41:54,222
What does Millie think of Sherlock?
792
00:41:54,306 --> 00:41:57,976
Does Millie ever drip wax over her body?
793
00:41:58,059 --> 00:42:00,311
Hot wax. Stop.
794
00:42:00,686 --> 00:42:02,397
- Okay. That's enough.
- Yeah, I think so.
795
00:42:02,481 --> 00:42:03,774
Describe your loins.
796
00:42:03,940 --> 00:42:07,610
I have hot loins.
797
00:42:08,237 --> 00:42:10,614
Hot loins for sale.
798
00:42:11,114 --> 00:42:13,324
Come and get them while they're hot.
799
00:42:13,409 --> 00:42:15,327
- Hot, steamy loins.
- Stop.
800
00:42:15,411 --> 00:42:18,956
Now show her how she makes you feel.
801
00:42:19,831 --> 00:42:21,458
Just go ahead. Display it.
802
00:42:22,708 --> 00:42:23,793
There.
803
00:42:23,876 --> 00:42:26,422
Don't look away. Look at it.
804
00:42:27,005 --> 00:42:28,215
There we go.
805
00:42:28,297 --> 00:42:29,799
Telegraph a picture of this.
806
00:42:30,175 --> 00:42:33,262
And make sure you get
the banger and the beans.
807
00:42:33,344 --> 00:42:34,679
Focus on the mushroom.
808
00:42:34,847 --> 00:42:37,516
Are you positive I shan't
regret this in the morning?
809
00:42:38,434 --> 00:42:39,685
You absolutely will.
810
00:42:39,768 --> 00:42:41,311
- Silence, you!
- Say it again.
811
00:42:41,394 --> 00:42:42,646
Say it again. I dare you.
812
00:42:42,728 --> 00:42:43,980
Please say it again.
813
00:42:44,063 --> 00:42:45,815
Do you think you would be
the first man I've killed?
814
00:42:45,898 --> 00:42:47,734
I have the penis of a baby doll.
815
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:52,823
It's just a statement of fact.
816
00:42:57,869 --> 00:43:02,165
Watson, after a night of drinking,
I could eat a whole pie.
817
00:43:02,248 --> 00:43:04,417
No, it's cakes for me, my friend.
818
00:43:04,501 --> 00:43:05,836
Cakes, indeed!
819
00:43:05,918 --> 00:43:09,255
Yes, cakes stacked on cakes.
820
00:43:10,340 --> 00:43:12,092
We should open a restaurant called
821
00:43:12,175 --> 00:43:16,012
the International House of
Cakes Stacked Upon Other Cakes.
822
00:43:16,262 --> 00:43:19,141
Yes, and you can only eat there
after a night of drinking.
823
00:43:19,224 --> 00:43:21,477
Well, speaking of the night,
I fear it's a night wasted.
824
00:43:21,559 --> 00:43:23,228
No sign of Klinger anywhere.
825
00:43:24,396 --> 00:43:25,981
Not so fast, Watson.
826
00:43:26,148 --> 00:43:28,733
Look at those two men and their tattoos.
827
00:43:29,108 --> 00:43:30,402
I don't understand.
828
00:43:30,735 --> 00:43:33,154
We haven't been able
to find the tattoo artist.
829
00:43:33,237 --> 00:43:35,948
Perhaps we should follow the tattoos.
830
00:43:40,161 --> 00:43:41,413
A gymnasium?
831
00:43:41,496 --> 00:43:43,581
You really think Klinger
would be here, Holmes?
832
00:43:43,664 --> 00:43:45,875
Look alive, Watson.
He could be anywhere.
833
00:43:46,751 --> 00:43:49,003
Three, two, one.
834
00:43:49,420 --> 00:43:51,756
Pick it up! That's it.
835
00:43:52,173 --> 00:43:54,342
Out with the bad air, in with the good.
836
00:43:54,425 --> 00:43:55,719
Look at these health nuts.
837
00:43:55,802 --> 00:43:56,886
Big deep breath.
838
00:43:57,304 --> 00:43:59,722
Obsessed with
the purifying effects of smoke.
839
00:43:59,806 --> 00:44:03,184
All right, good lungful
of the cleansing vapors.
840
00:44:04,143 --> 00:44:05,812
I don't think he's here, Holmes.
841
00:44:06,521 --> 00:44:08,315
Hello!
842
00:44:08,398 --> 00:44:10,358
Sherlock Holmes.
843
00:44:11,818 --> 00:44:13,737
You must be Gustav Klinger.
844
00:44:13,820 --> 00:44:16,824
The one-armed tattoo artist
of Dorset Street.
845
00:44:16,907 --> 00:44:18,158
Looks like it.
846
00:44:20,619 --> 00:44:24,081
Gustav Klinger, I accuse you
of poisoning Jimmy Gruber
847
00:44:24,164 --> 00:44:26,417
and baking him into a large cake.
848
00:44:26,500 --> 00:44:30,753
A deliciously large cake
that I baked myself.
849
00:44:30,838 --> 00:44:32,423
Oh, please.
850
00:44:32,672 --> 00:44:34,006
How dare you?
851
00:44:34,090 --> 00:44:36,426
You did not bake that cake.
852
00:44:36,510 --> 00:44:39,096
Not only did I bake it,
I decorated it, too.
853
00:44:39,179 --> 00:44:41,347
- Impossible.
- It's got a frosting attachment.
854
00:44:41,431 --> 00:44:43,766
You're trying to tell me
that a one-armed man
855
00:44:43,851 --> 00:44:46,894
made a professional,
bakery-quality cake fit for the Queen.
856
00:44:46,978 --> 00:44:49,480
- It's just... It...
- Watson, it doesn't matter
857
00:44:49,565 --> 00:44:51,525
- if he baked the cake or not.
- It really bugs... I know.
858
00:44:51,608 --> 00:44:52,985
- It really...
- Best cake I've ever eaten.
859
00:44:53,068 --> 00:44:54,194
I did bake the cake.
860
00:44:54,277 --> 00:44:56,362
All right, fine. You "baked the cake."
861
00:44:56,447 --> 00:44:58,782
I didn't "bake a cake."
862
00:44:59,407 --> 00:45:00,784
I baked a cake.
863
00:45:00,867 --> 00:45:02,244
Then you admit it.
864
00:45:02,411 --> 00:45:04,037
You killed Jimmy Gruber.
865
00:45:04,121 --> 00:45:05,956
And what if I did, Mr. Holmes?
866
00:45:06,123 --> 00:45:09,333
It's not as if you're in a position
to do anything about it.
867
00:45:09,418 --> 00:45:11,336
He's right, Sherlock Holmes.
868
00:45:12,503 --> 00:45:15,382
You've walked straight into our trap.
869
00:45:16,007 --> 00:45:17,717
- Moriarty.
- Quiet, Watson.
870
00:45:18,050 --> 00:45:21,679
In the name of the Queen,
I arrest you both.
871
00:45:22,014 --> 00:45:23,849
Come, Sherlock.
872
00:45:24,307 --> 00:45:26,018
You don't think it'll be that easy.
873
00:45:26,184 --> 00:45:28,561
You won't be leaving here
alive, Mr. Holmes.
874
00:45:29,313 --> 00:45:33,733
Unless, of course, you fight
your way out of the Hexagon.
875
00:45:37,153 --> 00:45:38,405
Where are you pointing?
876
00:45:39,614 --> 00:45:40,615
There.
877
00:45:40,699 --> 00:45:41,992
This way or that way?
878
00:45:42,867 --> 00:45:43,911
There.
879
00:45:44,536 --> 00:45:45,537
The Hexagon.
880
00:45:45,621 --> 00:45:47,831
But I won't fight a one-armed man.
881
00:45:47,914 --> 00:45:49,791
No. I've got this, Sherlock.
882
00:45:50,626 --> 00:45:52,920
It won't be the first time
I've fought a cripple.
883
00:45:54,670 --> 00:45:56,130
You won't be fighting me.
884
00:45:56,215 --> 00:45:57,966
No, no, no.
885
00:45:58,257 --> 00:45:59,675
You're fighting my mate.
886
00:46:00,177 --> 00:46:01,804
Meet Brawn.
887
00:46:19,987 --> 00:46:20,989
Come on.
888
00:46:22,949 --> 00:46:24,451
I call bullshit.
889
00:46:28,454 --> 00:46:30,623
I fear it might be suicide
to fight this man.
890
00:46:30,706 --> 00:46:32,917
I think it's mostly psychological.
891
00:46:36,213 --> 00:46:38,715
I'm psychologically
scared shitless right now.
892
00:46:38,882 --> 00:46:41,300
Fight! Fight! Fight!
893
00:46:44,179 --> 00:46:45,681
Okay. Okay.
894
00:46:45,847 --> 00:46:48,851
But if you want to watch this fight,
you have to pay.
895
00:46:48,934 --> 00:46:50,519
You have to pay to view it.
896
00:46:50,601 --> 00:46:53,813
This is a pay-to-view-it fight.
897
00:46:53,896 --> 00:46:55,690
Yes, I know it seems a bit unfair,
898
00:46:55,773 --> 00:46:59,277
but if you split it among a few friends
and buy some beers, some pizza,
899
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,279
it could be a fun thing
to do with the guys.
900
00:47:01,822 --> 00:47:06,117
It's time!
901
00:47:06,452 --> 00:47:09,538
Let's get ready to scuffle!
902
00:47:11,039 --> 00:47:12,166
Scuffle!
903
00:47:13,791 --> 00:47:15,793
- Nice!
- What is she doing here?
904
00:47:15,878 --> 00:47:17,129
It's 6:00 in the morning.
905
00:47:17,545 --> 00:47:18,838
Holmes, I don't know why...
906
00:47:18,922 --> 00:47:20,632
- Yes.
- ...but that really jacked me up.
907
00:47:21,382 --> 00:47:22,884
I think I might stand a chance.
908
00:47:22,967 --> 00:47:24,761
It reminds me of Istanbul.
909
00:47:24,844 --> 00:47:27,180
Exactly. And what
did I beat in Istanbul?
910
00:47:27,264 --> 00:47:29,349
- Syphilis!
- Syphilis! Exactly.
911
00:47:29,432 --> 00:47:30,893
- Go get him.
- All right.
912
00:47:31,393 --> 00:47:32,394
Come on!
913
00:47:32,478 --> 00:47:33,854
Come on? You come on.
914
00:47:33,936 --> 00:47:35,271
You!
915
00:47:35,355 --> 00:47:36,981
You mountain of flesh.
916
00:47:45,740 --> 00:47:47,826
Your turn, Mr. Holmes!
917
00:47:48,202 --> 00:47:50,621
Yes, I know. Of course I'm next.
918
00:47:55,541 --> 00:47:57,460
Opponent, 350 pounds.
919
00:47:58,045 --> 00:47:59,338
Use pipe.
920
00:47:59,505 --> 00:48:02,132
Create diversion to distract his gaze.
921
00:48:03,967 --> 00:48:05,177
Plan of attack...
922
00:48:05,969 --> 00:48:08,387
Surprise first blow to center of mass,
923
00:48:09,389 --> 00:48:10,932
gracefully dodge counterpunch,
924
00:48:11,934 --> 00:48:13,435
employ visual impairment,
925
00:48:15,061 --> 00:48:16,605
easily duck wild swing,
926
00:48:17,563 --> 00:48:22,402
utilize Tibetan ototoxic method
to disrupt his balance.
927
00:48:24,028 --> 00:48:25,447
Grab facial hair.
928
00:48:25,530 --> 00:48:26,989
Use for leverage.
929
00:48:27,074 --> 00:48:28,826
Okinawan beard flip.
930
00:48:31,536 --> 00:48:33,038
Enemy incapacitated.
931
00:48:34,164 --> 00:48:35,416
Catch pipe.
932
00:48:36,208 --> 00:48:38,751
Revel in crowd's adulation.
933
00:48:53,809 --> 00:48:54,810
Oh, no.
934
00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,481
Good show, Watson.
935
00:48:59,565 --> 00:49:00,691
Thank you, Holmes.
936
00:49:02,735 --> 00:49:03,818
Break his pelvis.
937
00:49:04,777 --> 00:49:06,237
Go! Again!
938
00:49:07,072 --> 00:49:08,824
Club him like a baby seal.
939
00:49:14,246 --> 00:49:15,956
- What have I done?
- No, you're fine.
940
00:49:16,414 --> 00:49:18,041
- Yeah...
- Now...
941
00:49:18,125 --> 00:49:21,043
Tell us everything you know
about the plot to kill the Queen.
942
00:49:22,336 --> 00:49:23,422
All right.
943
00:49:23,505 --> 00:49:24,506
I'll tell you everything I know.
944
00:49:27,384 --> 00:49:28,760
I've been stabbed in the back.
945
00:49:31,472 --> 00:49:32,723
Meaning?
946
00:49:32,806 --> 00:49:34,474
Metaphorically speaking, yes.
947
00:49:34,557 --> 00:49:36,351
No, I've literally
been stabbed in the back...
948
00:49:39,771 --> 00:49:41,230
Holmes, he's escaping!
949
00:49:50,407 --> 00:49:52,659
- So, Moriarty is in England.
- Watson.
950
00:49:52,742 --> 00:49:54,702
Does it look like Moriarty...
951
00:49:54,952 --> 00:49:56,663
Now?
952
00:49:56,829 --> 00:49:58,164
Who is this?
953
00:49:58,289 --> 00:49:59,583
Jacob Musgrave.
954
00:50:00,083 --> 00:50:02,168
As I've been saying all along.
955
00:50:02,335 --> 00:50:07,256
A man who looks so much like Moriarty,
a simple beard fooled almost everyone.
956
00:50:07,340 --> 00:50:08,800
All right, I admit it.
957
00:50:08,884 --> 00:50:09,927
I am no Moriarty.
958
00:50:10,927 --> 00:50:14,013
My name is Musgrave, just like he says.
959
00:50:15,349 --> 00:50:16,517
Who put you up to this?
960
00:50:16,682 --> 00:50:19,561
They've been leaving me notes
telling me what to do.
961
00:50:20,813 --> 00:50:21,855
I don't know who it is.
962
00:50:21,938 --> 00:50:24,315
I swear, I'm just a simple wanker.
963
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:25,858
He's telling the truth, Watson.
964
00:50:26,193 --> 00:50:28,028
This morally deficient creature,
965
00:50:28,737 --> 00:50:31,824
this awful excuse for a man.
966
00:50:31,907 --> 00:50:34,660
- This bag of rubbish.
- Yes, good one, Watson. Yes.
967
00:50:34,742 --> 00:50:36,536
Come on, guys, I'm dying.
968
00:50:36,702 --> 00:50:39,248
These are the wages of wanking, you see?
969
00:50:39,331 --> 00:50:40,833
- Wait.
- What?
970
00:50:40,916 --> 00:50:43,293
- Just a...
- Don't wank on us.
971
00:50:45,295 --> 00:50:46,797
A coal.
972
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:49,675
Said you were to take it to Newcastle.
973
00:50:51,260 --> 00:50:53,178
- A lump of coal?
- Yeah.
974
00:50:53,429 --> 00:50:54,762
To Newcastle?
975
00:50:54,847 --> 00:50:56,557
Newcastle by the river?
976
00:50:56,722 --> 00:50:59,684
Perhaps this clue will
lead us to the real mastermind.
977
00:50:59,768 --> 00:51:00,811
Time is running out.
978
00:51:00,893 --> 00:51:02,270
We must save the Queen.
979
00:51:02,353 --> 00:51:03,355
Good luck to you.
980
00:51:25,418 --> 00:51:28,004
Bring these coals to Newcastle.
981
00:51:28,672 --> 00:51:30,132
Coals.
982
00:51:30,715 --> 00:51:32,759
Coals. "Sherlock."
983
00:51:32,842 --> 00:51:35,678
"Three days until I rewrite
history and kill the Queen."
984
00:51:35,762 --> 00:51:37,306
Millicent is the subject of my research.
985
00:51:37,389 --> 00:51:38,724
Coals to Newcastle.
986
00:51:38,806 --> 00:51:41,392
Talking to you is as if our brains
are sharing a tandem bicycle.
987
00:51:41,476 --> 00:51:42,685
She has the mental capacity of...
988
00:51:42,769 --> 00:51:46,606
- Now you have but three days...
- Bring these coals to Newcastle.
989
00:51:46,898 --> 00:51:49,692
Who's the co-detective
Sherlock and me
990
00:51:51,110 --> 00:51:52,737
Good morning, Sherlock.
991
00:51:52,987 --> 00:51:53,989
What's happened?
992
00:51:54,072 --> 00:51:56,949
Well, I'm trying to
untangle this baffling clue.
993
00:51:58,367 --> 00:52:00,703
Ever since I met Millie,
my mind is muddled.
994
00:52:00,788 --> 00:52:04,458
Do you suppose she's infected me
with some sort of a disease?
995
00:52:04,625 --> 00:52:05,708
Disease?
996
00:52:05,793 --> 00:52:07,461
My heart races.
997
00:52:07,543 --> 00:52:09,045
My palms sweat.
998
00:52:09,128 --> 00:52:10,630
I have all these feelings.
999
00:52:10,713 --> 00:52:13,467
Holmes, get a hold of yourself.
You're not sick.
1000
00:52:14,885 --> 00:52:15,886
You're in love.
1001
00:52:15,969 --> 00:52:17,804
Love? Horseradish!
1002
00:52:17,887 --> 00:52:19,014
I'm a man of logic.
1003
00:52:19,097 --> 00:52:20,516
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
1004
00:52:20,599 --> 00:52:25,019
In fact, I, too, have been taken
by this malady called love.
1005
00:52:25,686 --> 00:52:28,523
Grace has asked me to call upon her.
1006
00:52:28,773 --> 00:52:30,233
Apparently,
1007
00:52:30,567 --> 00:52:33,487
I sent her quite
the charming telegram last night.
1008
00:52:35,072 --> 00:52:36,323
Watson, you've cracked it.
1009
00:52:36,572 --> 00:52:38,157
Have I? Co-detective?
1010
00:52:38,242 --> 00:52:39,660
Think, Watson.
1011
00:52:39,742 --> 00:52:43,079
Is there a single logical reason
for Grace to want to seek your company?
1012
00:52:43,496 --> 00:52:44,705
Romantic interest?
1013
00:52:45,248 --> 00:52:46,833
- No.
- My eyes?
1014
00:52:46,916 --> 00:52:48,043
It's all a ruse.
1015
00:52:48,126 --> 00:52:50,128
Moriarty escapes to America,
1016
00:52:50,211 --> 00:52:52,713
and then these two
American women show up?
1017
00:52:53,090 --> 00:52:56,844
Sorry, you're saying Grace
is the killer?
1018
00:52:56,927 --> 00:52:58,345
Of course she's not the killer.
1019
00:52:58,429 --> 00:53:01,014
She's an American.
She would've used a gun.
1020
00:53:01,097 --> 00:53:02,391
Yes.
1021
00:53:02,474 --> 00:53:05,144
No, Grace is working for the killer.
1022
00:53:06,519 --> 00:53:10,315
We shall seduce her,
and that will lead us to the murderer.
1023
00:53:11,525 --> 00:53:12,693
Yes.
1024
00:53:12,775 --> 00:53:15,903
Well, we best get you cleaned up
and dressed, then, hey?
1025
00:53:15,987 --> 00:53:16,989
Thank you, Watson.
1026
00:53:17,072 --> 00:53:18,073
- All right.
- Yes.
1027
00:53:19,490 --> 00:53:20,826
You're still here.
1028
00:53:20,909 --> 00:53:24,371
Hudson, what are you doing
in my room again?
1029
00:53:24,454 --> 00:53:27,039
I told you, I will clean it from now on.
1030
00:53:27,123 --> 00:53:28,541
You have your own room.
1031
00:53:28,625 --> 00:53:29,626
Under the stairs.
1032
00:53:29,710 --> 00:53:31,503
Out!
1033
00:53:31,753 --> 00:53:32,755
Come along.
1034
00:53:33,505 --> 00:53:34,882
You've soiled it enough!
1035
00:53:38,217 --> 00:53:39,886
Good God.
1036
00:53:40,471 --> 00:53:42,972
Harry Houdini and Albert Einstein.
Really?
1037
00:53:43,139 --> 00:53:45,893
What kind of three-backed beast is this?
1038
00:53:45,976 --> 00:53:47,352
There's sometimes more.
1039
00:53:47,436 --> 00:53:49,896
I pray in there.
That room is a sanctuary.
1040
00:53:49,980 --> 00:53:51,731
I know.
1041
00:53:52,315 --> 00:53:54,442
If you only knew the things
I've done in that bed.
1042
00:53:54,525 --> 00:53:56,235
I would just get rid of it if I was you.
1043
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,447
Why are you bringing
all of these men in here?
1044
00:53:58,530 --> 00:54:00,115
Stick to your broomstick.
1045
00:54:01,199 --> 00:54:02,576
Go on. In we get.
1046
00:54:02,659 --> 00:54:05,496
Move it! You got a job to finish.
1047
00:54:08,916 --> 00:54:10,417
Who could that be at this early hour?
1048
00:54:11,293 --> 00:54:12,294
Enter.
1049
00:54:18,175 --> 00:54:19,259
Her Majesty!
1050
00:54:21,344 --> 00:54:23,930
Have you come to see me?
1051
00:54:24,639 --> 00:54:27,391
Mr. Holmes, I have
but two days left to live
1052
00:54:27,476 --> 00:54:29,644
unless you can solve this case.
1053
00:54:30,394 --> 00:54:32,688
My Queen, do come in.
1054
00:54:33,481 --> 00:54:36,275
I shall speak
with Mr. Holmes in private.
1055
00:54:38,487 --> 00:54:39,570
Your Majesty.
1056
00:54:40,405 --> 00:54:41,489
You'll be happy to know
1057
00:54:41,572 --> 00:54:44,951
that just this morning
we discovered a new clue.
1058
00:54:45,034 --> 00:54:46,286
This chunk of coal.
1059
00:54:46,369 --> 00:54:48,204
What does it mean?
1060
00:54:48,288 --> 00:54:49,873
It's quite a mystery.
1061
00:54:51,625 --> 00:54:53,168
Is this going to be a problem?
1062
00:54:53,251 --> 00:54:54,503
Watson.
1063
00:54:54,585 --> 00:54:56,921
Perhaps the Queen would enjoy some tea.
1064
00:54:57,005 --> 00:54:58,507
Yes, of course.
1065
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:03,262
Mr. Holmes,
the empire is depending on you.
1066
00:55:03,344 --> 00:55:07,014
Your Majesty, I now suspect
two American women
1067
00:55:07,099 --> 00:55:08,976
are somehow involved in this plot.
1068
00:55:10,184 --> 00:55:12,813
Sorry. Your Majesty,
1069
00:55:13,605 --> 00:55:16,733
do you think I could have
a picture of us together?
1070
00:55:16,817 --> 00:55:18,818
But, who is going to
take the photograph?
1071
00:55:18,902 --> 00:55:20,820
No, I'll take the photograph.
1072
00:55:20,903 --> 00:55:23,449
You see, it's a type
of a self-photograph.
1073
00:55:23,532 --> 00:55:25,534
I can take it, and I will be in it also.
1074
00:55:25,617 --> 00:55:28,579
You know what, I find,
to take the most attractive photographs,
1075
00:55:28,661 --> 00:55:32,415
you need to purse your lips together
like a duck-billed platypus.
1076
00:55:32,708 --> 00:55:34,626
Platypus face. Chins up.
1077
00:55:36,670 --> 00:55:39,047
- Hey.
- Hey, girl.
1078
00:55:39,130 --> 00:55:40,840
Maybe over by the window.
1079
00:55:40,923 --> 00:55:42,842
- The lighting's much better there.
- Yes, capital idea.
1080
00:55:44,510 --> 00:55:47,306
Oh, God. Ma'am?
1081
00:55:47,389 --> 00:55:48,599
Your Majesty.
1082
00:55:48,681 --> 00:55:50,349
Ma'am?
1083
00:55:50,434 --> 00:55:51,685
Oh, dear.
1084
00:55:53,103 --> 00:55:54,813
Tell me, Watson.
1085
00:55:55,813 --> 00:55:57,273
She's dead.
1086
00:55:58,608 --> 00:55:59,942
Dear God.
1087
00:56:02,362 --> 00:56:04,364
We've killed the Queen.
1088
00:56:04,447 --> 00:56:05,949
Are you all right, Your Majesty?
1089
00:56:06,492 --> 00:56:07,659
Yes.
1090
00:56:07,742 --> 00:56:09,702
- Yes, I'm all right.
- Are you sure?
1091
00:56:09,786 --> 00:56:11,079
Yes, I'm quite fine.
1092
00:56:11,163 --> 00:56:14,333
My lover John Watson
will take good care of me.
1093
00:56:16,293 --> 00:56:18,378
Why did you want that photograph?
1094
00:56:18,461 --> 00:56:20,672
I didn't want the photograph.
1095
00:56:20,755 --> 00:56:22,757
What are you talking about?
1096
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,717
Mr. Holmes? Dr. Watson?
1097
00:56:24,802 --> 00:56:26,678
I'm very safe.
1098
00:56:26,762 --> 00:56:29,347
- She's so dead.
- She's so dead.
1099
00:56:29,431 --> 00:56:30,724
I know. Okay.
1100
00:56:30,807 --> 00:56:32,141
We'll shove her down the toilet
1101
00:56:32,226 --> 00:56:34,519
as if she was never here,
and we'll deny ever seeing her.
1102
00:56:34,603 --> 00:56:35,938
Right. Excellent.
1103
00:56:36,021 --> 00:56:37,439
Come on. Come up.
1104
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,275
Here we are. Into the bathroom.
1105
00:56:43,237 --> 00:56:44,613
Mr. Holmes! Dr. Watson!
1106
00:56:44,695 --> 00:56:45,989
What was the big bang?
1107
00:56:46,072 --> 00:56:47,615
We must buy some time.
1108
00:56:47,699 --> 00:56:48,700
- Right.
- Let's get her to the door.
1109
00:56:48,784 --> 00:56:49,910
- Open this door!
- Wait.
1110
00:56:50,577 --> 00:56:52,037
Hello. What do you want?
1111
00:56:52,121 --> 00:56:53,664
Ma'am, are you all right?
1112
00:56:53,746 --> 00:56:55,873
Yes, of course I'm fine. Can't you see?
1113
00:56:55,958 --> 00:56:57,876
- Yes, of course, Ma'am. I'm so sorry.
- We've got it from here, boys.
1114
00:56:57,960 --> 00:56:59,043
- Thank you.
- We're good.
1115
00:56:59,128 --> 00:57:00,129
Yes, sir.
1116
00:57:01,255 --> 00:57:02,297
- The trunk.
- Yes.
1117
00:57:02,380 --> 00:57:04,007
Yes, we'll mail her to Africa.
1118
00:57:05,592 --> 00:57:06,927
Come on, Ma'am. Sorry.
1119
00:57:07,010 --> 00:57:08,095
There we go.
1120
00:57:08,177 --> 00:57:09,512
Stuff her in there.
1121
00:57:09,596 --> 00:57:11,056
Really thrust.
1122
00:57:11,139 --> 00:57:12,391
Good.
1123
00:57:12,724 --> 00:57:14,434
Good.
1124
00:57:14,518 --> 00:57:15,601
Hold on, Watson.
1125
00:57:15,686 --> 00:57:17,604
Come on, boys. Open the door!
1126
00:57:18,563 --> 00:57:20,356
Mr. Holmes! Dr. Watson!
1127
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:22,525
One, two, three. Watch your fingers.
1128
00:57:23,860 --> 00:57:25,194
Open this door immediately!
1129
00:57:25,612 --> 00:57:26,864
This is bad.
1130
00:57:26,947 --> 00:57:28,615
You know what we must do.
1131
00:57:29,782 --> 00:57:31,034
Grab your toolbox.
1132
00:57:31,117 --> 00:57:33,286
Let me in! I'm breaking down the door!
1133
00:57:35,664 --> 00:57:37,666
- Bone saw.
- Bone saw.
1134
00:57:37,750 --> 00:57:38,958
- Oh, God.
- Come on. Push! Come on, together!
1135
00:57:39,041 --> 00:57:40,210
Watson.
1136
00:57:40,293 --> 00:57:42,920
- Toilet-sized chunks.
- Put your back into it!
1137
00:57:46,759 --> 00:57:48,010
Good God!
1138
00:57:48,092 --> 00:57:49,510
What have you done?
1139
00:57:51,179 --> 00:57:52,847
Platypus lips.
1140
00:57:59,813 --> 00:58:03,483
Can you send me a copy
of the self-photograph?
1141
00:58:04,693 --> 00:58:05,694
Absolutely.
1142
00:58:05,777 --> 00:58:11,532
It will arrive at the Palace
in about a week.
1143
00:58:12,617 --> 00:58:13,826
Gentlemen...
1144
00:58:13,911 --> 00:58:17,371
You have two days to stop this killer.
1145
00:58:17,456 --> 00:58:18,707
Yes, Ma'am.
1146
00:58:20,083 --> 00:58:21,375
God save the Queen.
1147
00:58:26,215 --> 00:58:28,092
What a perfect day for a picnic
1148
00:58:28,175 --> 00:58:32,346
at London's greatest spectacle,
the Anglo-American Exhibition.
1149
00:58:32,429 --> 00:58:34,222
A celebration of
that special relationship
1150
00:58:34,306 --> 00:58:35,974
between our nation and yours.
1151
00:58:36,057 --> 00:58:40,269
Yes, such a special relationship
between these two nations.
1152
00:58:40,353 --> 00:58:41,771
Although, I could
1153
00:58:41,855 --> 00:58:45,150
never live in a country
with an unelected ruler like the Queen.
1154
00:58:46,068 --> 00:58:47,194
Why ever not?
1155
00:58:47,568 --> 00:58:49,612
In America, we have democracy.
1156
00:58:49,695 --> 00:58:52,824
Our president is a person
our people have all chosen.
1157
00:58:53,992 --> 00:58:57,996
An assurance that only the finest
and most qualified man will lead.
1158
00:58:58,079 --> 00:59:01,875
Not a wealthy tyrant
who cares for nothing but himself.
1159
00:59:01,958 --> 00:59:03,501
But you have the electoral college,
1160
00:59:03,585 --> 00:59:04,920
which surely will prevent
1161
00:59:05,003 --> 00:59:07,381
some trumped-up charlatan
from gaining power.
1162
00:59:07,463 --> 00:59:09,048
Not always, unfortunately.
1163
00:59:09,132 --> 00:59:10,842
It would be great
to have a strong businessman.
1164
00:59:10,925 --> 00:59:12,594
But a showman as well.
1165
00:59:12,677 --> 00:59:14,221
I love a good show.
1166
00:59:14,304 --> 00:59:15,597
America.
1167
00:59:16,431 --> 00:59:19,267
We gave you your freedom,
and now look what you've done with it.
1168
00:59:19,351 --> 00:59:21,353
London's spectacle...
1169
00:59:21,436 --> 00:59:24,480
And the hall of wondrous displays.
1170
00:59:24,565 --> 00:59:25,691
The White House...
1171
00:59:26,775 --> 00:59:28,568
Live till you're 50.
1172
00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:31,654
Baby nerve tonic, now with more ether.
1173
00:59:32,697 --> 00:59:35,366
Be calm and focused with cigarettes.
1174
00:59:36,869 --> 00:59:39,704
Phone! See the telly-phone.
1175
00:59:39,788 --> 00:59:40,831
Can I try that?
1176
00:59:40,914 --> 00:59:43,125
Anglo-American Exhibition.
1177
00:59:44,001 --> 00:59:45,294
Remember, Watson.
1178
00:59:45,376 --> 00:59:48,297
Relax them with small talk,
then begin the seduction.
1179
00:59:49,255 --> 00:59:52,259
I must say, she doesn't look like
she could be an accessory to murder.
1180
00:59:54,177 --> 00:59:56,596
Well, looks can be deceiving.
1181
00:59:57,847 --> 01:00:00,016
Remember, we're here to seduce.
1182
01:00:00,559 --> 01:00:04,813
These physical displays of strength
will enchant them.
1183
01:00:09,193 --> 01:00:12,237
- I could use a bit of cocaine.
- Did you bring a vial with you?
1184
01:00:16,157 --> 01:00:17,492
Very good.
1185
01:00:25,751 --> 01:00:27,920
- Are you all right?
- I'm exhausted.
1186
01:00:28,461 --> 01:00:33,467
There is one test I can employ to prove
she truly is who she says she is.
1187
01:00:33,550 --> 01:00:34,885
Do it, Holmes.
1188
01:00:34,967 --> 01:00:37,261
Employ your last test.
I simply must know.
1189
01:00:40,181 --> 01:00:41,182
Help!
1190
01:00:41,266 --> 01:00:42,934
- John?
- This man has been taken ill.
1191
01:00:43,018 --> 01:00:44,061
What?
1192
01:00:46,396 --> 01:00:48,731
- Let me see.
- If only there were a doctor present.
1193
01:00:49,690 --> 01:00:52,860
Clearly, he's had a severe blow
to his occipital bone.
1194
01:00:52,945 --> 01:00:53,946
He's concussed.
1195
01:00:54,028 --> 01:00:56,322
- And I am a doctor.
- A doctor?
1196
01:00:56,407 --> 01:00:59,117
A woman doctor. What times we live in.
1197
01:00:59,701 --> 01:01:01,119
Could it be?
1198
01:01:01,744 --> 01:01:04,205
Is Grace truly a doctor?
1199
01:01:04,289 --> 01:01:06,708
Are her feelings of affection genuine?
1200
01:01:06,791 --> 01:01:08,835
Then she's innocent.
1201
01:01:08,918 --> 01:01:11,629
Watson, get up.
We need to go see my brother.
1202
01:01:11,713 --> 01:01:13,590
I love you, Grace.
1203
01:01:16,175 --> 01:01:18,719
The legendary Diogenes Men's Club.
1204
01:01:18,804 --> 01:01:20,764
Home of London's most awkward gentlemen
1205
01:01:21,097 --> 01:01:22,724
and my brother.
1206
01:01:24,059 --> 01:01:25,144
Holmes.
1207
01:01:25,226 --> 01:01:26,811
I can't believe you have a brother.
1208
01:01:26,894 --> 01:01:29,063
Yes, but we're nothing alike.
1209
01:01:29,148 --> 01:01:30,606
He's an arrogant man
1210
01:01:30,690 --> 01:01:32,483
who never appreciates
the people around him.
1211
01:01:33,277 --> 01:01:34,695
Follow me. Here.
1212
01:01:39,365 --> 01:01:41,034
Well, well, well...
1213
01:01:43,244 --> 01:01:45,748
So, you are finally seeking
your brother's help.
1214
01:01:46,623 --> 01:01:48,625
Say, I'm not surprised.
1215
01:01:48,708 --> 01:01:51,294
And this vague assembly
of limbs and fatty tissue,
1216
01:01:51,378 --> 01:01:53,130
I assume is Dr. Watson.
1217
01:02:07,436 --> 01:02:08,896
So, shall I get us started?
1218
01:02:11,940 --> 01:02:13,567
Watson, please.
1219
01:02:13,650 --> 01:02:15,568
We're in the middle of a conversation.
1220
01:02:15,652 --> 01:02:16,695
Can't you see?
1221
01:02:16,778 --> 01:02:20,574
When the two most brilliant minds
in all of England have a fraternal bond,
1222
01:02:20,657 --> 01:02:22,992
words are an inefficiency.
1223
01:02:23,077 --> 01:02:24,411
We communicate without words,
1224
01:02:24,494 --> 01:02:27,705
silently, from giant brain
to gianter brain.
1225
01:02:27,789 --> 01:02:28,791
Of course.
1226
01:02:29,708 --> 01:02:31,793
I'll join in as I see fit.
1227
01:02:35,463 --> 01:02:38,467
I can spare a few minutes
to solve your little mystery
1228
01:02:38,550 --> 01:02:40,885
and help quench your thirst
for public adulation.
1229
01:02:41,512 --> 01:02:43,555
My thirst is for logic.
1230
01:02:43,639 --> 01:02:45,641
I don't care what the public thinks
1231
01:02:45,724 --> 01:02:48,936
of London's best-loved detective,
Sherlock Holmes.
1232
01:02:49,018 --> 01:02:50,269
Thoughts.
1233
01:02:51,105 --> 01:02:54,065
Me-me talky.
1234
01:02:54,148 --> 01:02:55,942
You find killer.
1235
01:02:56,025 --> 01:02:58,903
Me-me talky? We find killer?
1236
01:02:58,987 --> 01:03:01,532
Watson, what are you trying to do?
1237
01:03:01,614 --> 01:03:02,990
Trying to brain-speak.
1238
01:03:03,074 --> 01:03:04,451
You're going to hurt yourself.
1239
01:03:05,327 --> 01:03:06,370
Sorry.
1240
01:03:07,079 --> 01:03:09,373
Perhaps the gentleman
would be more comfortable
1241
01:03:09,456 --> 01:03:11,959
in the companions' chamber.
1242
01:03:12,458 --> 01:03:15,670
Perhaps, or perhaps I'd be
comfortable here by the fire.
1243
01:03:16,170 --> 01:03:18,589
- In the companions' chamber, sir.
- Yes, fine. Of course.
1244
01:03:18,673 --> 01:03:20,550
Great idea. Yeah, capital idea.
1245
01:03:20,634 --> 01:03:22,302
- I'll be in the companions' room.
- Yes.
1246
01:03:22,385 --> 01:03:25,264
The equal companions' room,
should you need me.
1247
01:03:25,347 --> 01:03:26,598
It's just here.
1248
01:03:31,353 --> 01:03:33,730
Please enjoy
the company of your fellow companions.
1249
01:03:34,063 --> 01:03:35,398
I see.
1250
01:03:36,275 --> 01:03:39,360
Balloons are happy,
but they're not alive.
1251
01:03:40,862 --> 01:03:41,989
Fair enough.
1252
01:03:47,202 --> 01:03:50,956
Who is this brilliant nemesis
capable of besting me?
1253
01:03:51,206 --> 01:03:54,626
If your nemesis
were truly smarter than you,
1254
01:03:54,710 --> 01:03:56,043
it could only be me.
1255
01:03:56,503 --> 01:03:58,797
And as I am not the killer,
one must conclude
1256
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:02,341
that the killer did not,
nor could not, outwit you.
1257
01:04:02,425 --> 01:04:05,429
If the killer
is my intellectual inferior,
1258
01:04:05,512 --> 01:04:07,472
how has he predicted my every move?
1259
01:04:07,556 --> 01:04:09,099
The killer did not predict your actions.
1260
01:04:09,182 --> 01:04:12,936
Our murderer is a student of yours,
someone in your proximity.
1261
01:04:13,019 --> 01:04:15,313
Someone who could
observe you undetected.
1262
01:04:15,396 --> 01:04:18,107
Someone who knows you
better than anyone.
1263
01:04:18,192 --> 01:04:19,485
His mind radiates wisdom.
1264
01:04:19,568 --> 01:04:21,195
Sherlock Holmes has done it again!
1265
01:04:24,739 --> 01:04:27,658
I'm dying from anticipation.
What did your brother tell you, Holmes?
1266
01:04:27,742 --> 01:04:29,327
I believe I've cracked the case.
1267
01:04:29,411 --> 01:04:32,039
It was in front of me the whole time,
my dear Watson.
1268
01:04:32,121 --> 01:04:33,664
Do share.
1269
01:04:33,748 --> 01:04:35,917
And ruin the suspense?
1270
01:04:36,001 --> 01:04:38,295
I just thought,
since I worked the case with you...
1271
01:04:38,378 --> 01:04:39,546
And we're here.
1272
01:04:42,715 --> 01:04:43,759
Now...
1273
01:04:43,842 --> 01:04:47,596
You're all wondering
why I gathered you here today.
1274
01:04:47,679 --> 01:04:50,516
Prepare yourself to be astonished.
1275
01:04:51,182 --> 01:04:54,603
The killer could only be a man
who knew my actions at every turn.
1276
01:04:55,353 --> 01:04:58,356
Who was present at every murder?
1277
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:01,776
Who knows me better than anyone?
1278
01:05:01,860 --> 01:05:04,780
It was you
who arranged my birthday party
1279
01:05:04,862 --> 01:05:07,657
and the cake
which contained the first victim,
1280
01:05:07,740 --> 01:05:11,286
initiating the events
leading us to today.
1281
01:05:11,369 --> 01:05:13,996
Dr. Watson is the killer.
1282
01:05:17,626 --> 01:05:22,089
By studying my methods, you created
a fake crime only you could solve.
1283
01:05:22,172 --> 01:05:27,344
Why? I was to be so impressed
that I would crown him co-detective.
1284
01:05:27,427 --> 01:05:32,391
He wanted to rewrite history
by becoming my partner.
1285
01:05:35,893 --> 01:05:38,771
Okay. Now the part about
how I could never have done it
1286
01:05:38,856 --> 01:05:41,150
and on to the surprising real killer.
1287
01:05:41,233 --> 01:05:42,776
I wonder who it's going to be.
1288
01:05:42,860 --> 01:05:45,028
When one eliminates the impossible,
1289
01:05:45,112 --> 01:05:49,115
whatever remains, however improbable,
is the truth.
1290
01:05:50,409 --> 01:05:52,369
But this is absurd.
1291
01:05:53,119 --> 01:05:56,539
- Holmes, you must know in your heart...
- The heart is for pumping blood.
1292
01:05:56,623 --> 01:05:59,293
The truth is the truth!
1293
01:05:59,376 --> 01:06:01,003
Truth...
1294
01:06:01,628 --> 01:06:04,631
Is that I have devoted my life to you.
1295
01:06:05,382 --> 01:06:06,717
And I was a fool to think
1296
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:08,844
you would ever consider me
as a co-detective
1297
01:06:08,927 --> 01:06:12,306
when you're incapable of thinking of me
even as a friend!
1298
01:06:14,349 --> 01:06:17,311
Inspector Lestrade, take him. Go on.
1299
01:06:17,393 --> 01:06:19,228
But the man is your closest friend.
1300
01:06:19,313 --> 01:06:21,231
Your pursuit of Moriarty has failed.
1301
01:06:21,315 --> 01:06:23,150
You have no suspects.
1302
01:06:23,233 --> 01:06:25,736
The killer still threatens
to kill the Queen.
1303
01:06:25,818 --> 01:06:28,112
Is that a chance you're willing to take?
1304
01:06:28,739 --> 01:06:30,449
- Take him.
- What?
1305
01:06:33,744 --> 01:06:35,954
Do you see his propensity for violence?
1306
01:06:36,038 --> 01:06:37,789
- Do you still doubt me?
- Calm down.
1307
01:06:38,706 --> 01:06:44,128
I shall never again carry
your blasted magnifying glasses.
1308
01:06:44,213 --> 01:06:45,923
Or your jars of urine.
1309
01:06:46,757 --> 01:06:48,592
Why are we even saving these?
1310
01:06:49,259 --> 01:06:52,471
And you look stupid in that hat.
1311
01:06:53,137 --> 01:06:56,266
Your head was not meant for hats.
1312
01:06:58,351 --> 01:07:00,186
Unhand me! No!
1313
01:07:00,478 --> 01:07:02,188
I'll never forget you, John.
1314
01:07:04,690 --> 01:07:05,858
Why?
1315
01:07:05,943 --> 01:07:10,114
John Watson devoted his life to you,
and this is how you repay him?
1316
01:07:10,197 --> 01:07:13,992
Back to America
with your ham-dogs and hot-burgers.
1317
01:07:14,076 --> 01:07:16,202
At least in America, our system's fair.
1318
01:07:16,869 --> 01:07:20,289
No citizen can be found guilty
till his case is heard
1319
01:07:20,373 --> 01:07:23,084
by a jury of white property-owning men.
1320
01:07:24,378 --> 01:07:26,963
Millie, surely you must understand.
1321
01:07:36,056 --> 01:07:37,891
Fine, go.
1322
01:07:37,974 --> 01:07:40,726
I'm the greatest detective
who ever lived.
1323
01:07:40,811 --> 01:07:43,146
You're welcome for solving this case.
1324
01:07:43,230 --> 01:07:45,565
Sherlock abandons Watson!
1325
01:08:02,081 --> 01:08:04,710
Sherlock, a washed-up loser!
1326
01:08:39,453 --> 01:08:40,788
A tear?
1327
01:08:42,081 --> 01:08:43,957
What is this tear?
1328
01:08:47,586 --> 01:08:49,253
I can't stop it.
1329
01:08:54,842 --> 01:08:57,970
What is this warm feeling in my chest?
1330
01:09:03,894 --> 01:09:07,231
Why am I reeling in confusion?
1331
01:09:08,314 --> 01:09:11,317
What is this fever in my head?
1332
01:09:12,152 --> 01:09:17,908
Is it pox, maybe gout
I can't seem to work it out
1333
01:09:17,990 --> 01:09:23,287
And why don't I feel triumphant?
1334
01:09:24,206 --> 01:09:29,962
And why does it seem less than right
that Watson's going to hang tonight
1335
01:09:30,045 --> 01:09:34,800
And gasp and thrash and choke
until he's dead?
1336
01:09:34,882 --> 01:09:38,595
What is this strange sensation?
1337
01:09:38,679 --> 01:09:41,222
Where did I go wrong?
1338
01:09:41,305 --> 01:09:44,308
Why am I a sobbing, trembling man?
1339
01:09:44,393 --> 01:09:46,436
Soon my neck will snap in half I guess
1340
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:49,732
And yet I know somehow
1341
01:09:49,898 --> 01:09:53,360
- If he could hear right now
- And yet right now
1342
01:09:53,444 --> 01:09:55,487
- I would still forgive him
- I would still forgive him
1343
01:09:58,532 --> 01:10:01,577
More or less
1344
01:10:01,993 --> 01:10:04,704
Please, I don't know upon
whom else to call
1345
01:10:04,787 --> 01:10:07,582
Nothing is making any sense at all
1346
01:10:07,666 --> 01:10:09,752
Speak! I need your voice
1347
01:10:09,835 --> 01:10:13,713
To hear your voice, so sweet
So pure, so wise
1348
01:10:18,761 --> 01:10:25,684
Sometimes the irrational
is truer than the rational
1349
01:10:25,768 --> 01:10:29,061
The heart can have its reasons
1350
01:10:29,145 --> 01:10:33,192
Which the head knows nothing of
1351
01:10:33,274 --> 01:10:36,444
Your brain says "Watson's guilty"
1352
01:10:36,569 --> 01:10:40,407
But a stronger force says,
"No, he's not!"
1353
01:10:40,490 --> 01:10:42,576
What is that force?
1354
01:10:42,658 --> 01:10:44,368
- It's...
- Yes? What?
1355
01:10:44,453 --> 01:10:47,790
- It's love!
- Love?
1356
01:10:47,872 --> 01:10:51,751
- It's love!
- It's love!
1357
01:10:51,835 --> 01:10:53,712
- It's love!
- It's love!
1358
01:10:53,837 --> 01:10:56,090
- It's love!
- It's love!
1359
01:10:56,547 --> 01:10:58,257
My God.
1360
01:10:58,341 --> 01:11:02,887
Did I push Watson away
because I feared losing him to Grace?
1361
01:11:02,970 --> 01:11:05,098
Somehow I know in my heart...
1362
01:11:06,557 --> 01:11:08,393
Watson is innocent!
1363
01:11:08,476 --> 01:11:12,730
- Come save me now
- Time to go and save
1364
01:11:12,814 --> 01:11:18,361
- The man I love
- The man I love
1365
01:11:21,489 --> 01:11:22,698
Watson!
1366
01:11:22,783 --> 01:11:26,870
I discovered my emotions,
and I'm only 46.
1367
01:11:26,953 --> 01:11:28,788
Hang!
1368
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:34,461
Oh, God.
1369
01:11:34,545 --> 01:11:36,838
Hang Dr. Watson!
1370
01:11:36,921 --> 01:11:39,048
The dogs seem really unnecessary.
1371
01:11:39,675 --> 01:11:41,135
Sherlock.
1372
01:11:43,679 --> 01:11:44,680
It's you.
1373
01:11:45,389 --> 01:11:46,722
And you've brought cake.
1374
01:11:54,605 --> 01:11:55,815
Watson!
1375
01:11:55,899 --> 01:11:57,025
My brother!
1376
01:11:57,109 --> 01:11:58,694
Watson, where are you?
1377
01:11:58,777 --> 01:12:00,112
Where...
1378
01:12:00,194 --> 01:12:01,863
I'm too late.
1379
01:12:06,702 --> 01:12:07,911
Clever.
1380
01:12:07,994 --> 01:12:11,998
Very, very clever.
1381
01:12:17,712 --> 01:12:22,509
You were always so clever,
and I never appreciated it.
1382
01:12:23,342 --> 01:12:25,554
But it's not too late to make amends.
1383
01:12:25,636 --> 01:12:26,889
Watson!
1384
01:12:26,971 --> 01:12:29,224
I shouldn't have wasted
all my time singing!
1385
01:12:34,438 --> 01:12:36,230
Grimy news kids.
1386
01:12:36,314 --> 01:12:38,232
I desperately need your help.
1387
01:12:38,317 --> 01:12:40,027
Dr. Watson's in grave danger.
1388
01:12:40,109 --> 01:12:41,737
Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
1389
01:12:41,819 --> 01:12:43,154
Because of you, you wank!
1390
01:12:43,238 --> 01:12:44,323
I know.
1391
01:12:44,405 --> 01:12:46,033
But I know of a way to save him.
1392
01:12:46,115 --> 01:12:48,368
Please. Please help me.
1393
01:12:48,452 --> 01:12:51,246
I must find a way
to the docks immediately.
1394
01:12:54,582 --> 01:12:58,461
"Moriarty's daughter did
the one thing Moriarty never could:
1395
01:12:58,545 --> 01:13:03,216
"She defeated Sherlock Holmes
and assassinated the Queen.
1396
01:13:03,300 --> 01:13:05,927
"Sherlock Holmes,
the man whom I regarded
1397
01:13:06,011 --> 01:13:12,935
"as the best and the wisest man
whom I would ever know, was a fraud."
1398
01:13:16,771 --> 01:13:18,189
It is done.
1399
01:13:18,981 --> 01:13:21,819
A devilish plan worthy of your father.
1400
01:13:21,902 --> 01:13:26,698
The last book in
the Sherlock Holmes canon is complete.
1401
01:13:26,782 --> 01:13:29,451
"The Case of the Defeated Detective."
1402
01:13:29,534 --> 01:13:32,703
Daddy will be so proud.
1403
01:13:32,787 --> 01:13:34,288
Sherlock will be remembered
1404
01:13:34,372 --> 01:13:37,083
as the man who failed
to protect the Queen.
1405
01:13:37,167 --> 01:13:39,211
History shall be rewritten
1406
01:13:39,293 --> 01:13:43,172
at the hand
of his loyal Boswell, Dr. Watson.
1407
01:13:43,798 --> 01:13:45,591
I've done your bidding.
1408
01:13:45,676 --> 01:13:46,718
Now set me free.
1409
01:13:47,845 --> 01:13:49,887
You're gonna die here.
1410
01:13:50,346 --> 01:13:51,681
You gave me your word.
1411
01:13:51,765 --> 01:13:53,307
You swore on the life of the Queen.
1412
01:13:53,391 --> 01:13:56,894
I'm gonna kill the Queen,
you big eejit. Boys!
1413
01:13:56,979 --> 01:13:59,021
Mrs. Hudson is the killer?
1414
01:13:59,105 --> 01:14:00,314
Gorblimey!
1415
01:14:00,399 --> 01:14:01,900
How'd you work that out?
1416
01:14:01,984 --> 01:14:03,944
Why, it was Watson who told me.
1417
01:14:04,027 --> 01:14:06,363
You see, beet sugar.
1418
01:14:06,697 --> 01:14:09,490
Mrs. Hudson's family recipe
and Watson's favorite.
1419
01:14:09,574 --> 01:14:12,786
He never would have left crumbs behind
unless he was leaving me a clue.
1420
01:14:12,869 --> 01:14:16,038
For, you see, Mrs. Hudson's origins
are not so humble.
1421
01:14:16,122 --> 01:14:20,042
She is none other than the daughter
of Professor James Moriarty.
1422
01:14:20,127 --> 01:14:21,420
No, it ain't possible.
1423
01:14:21,502 --> 01:14:24,465
You see, Mrs. Hudson
never knew her father.
1424
01:14:25,131 --> 01:14:26,299
He was never present.
1425
01:14:26,382 --> 01:14:29,886
To gain his love, she tried to
pull off the greatest crime ever.
1426
01:14:30,220 --> 01:14:33,390
Destroy the great Sherlock Holmes.
1427
01:14:33,474 --> 01:14:36,476
She took a job at my house
in order to study my methods,
1428
01:14:36,560 --> 01:14:39,772
then used a network of patsies
to execute her plans.
1429
01:14:39,854 --> 01:14:42,774
However, it wasn't until
I understood feelings
1430
01:14:42,858 --> 01:14:47,237
that I understood her motive,
her need for her father's love.
1431
01:14:47,613 --> 01:14:50,324
She would gain it
by eliminating his greatest enemy.
1432
01:14:50,407 --> 01:14:51,742
Me.
1433
01:14:52,201 --> 01:14:56,663
And tonight, she will commit
her boldest crime yet,
1434
01:14:56,747 --> 01:15:00,292
killing the Queen here!
1435
01:15:00,375 --> 01:15:04,003
The Titanic. The marvel of London.
1436
01:15:04,087 --> 01:15:08,050
A new castle, which runs on coal.
1437
01:15:08,132 --> 01:15:10,551
Your Majesty, may I introduce
Lieutenant Morgan.
1438
01:15:10,927 --> 01:15:11,929
Lieutenant.
1439
01:15:12,470 --> 01:15:13,971
First Officer Carter.
1440
01:15:14,847 --> 01:15:16,891
- Your Majesty.
- First Officer.
1441
01:15:17,434 --> 01:15:19,144
Look, Hudson's goons.
1442
01:15:19,770 --> 01:15:20,854
Create a diversion.
1443
01:15:20,938 --> 01:15:23,023
You go and save Dr. Watson, Mr. Holmes.
1444
01:15:23,106 --> 01:15:24,524
We'll take care of this lot.
1445
01:15:24,608 --> 01:15:26,150
Come on, you tom tit!
1446
01:15:26,234 --> 01:15:28,778
You ain't bigger than
a couple of powder monkeys.
1447
01:15:29,822 --> 01:15:31,573
Is there a problem, boys?
1448
01:15:31,698 --> 01:15:33,992
Think we can take them, lads?
1449
01:15:34,076 --> 01:15:36,244
Walk away now,
and I promise you won't get hurt.
1450
01:15:36,328 --> 01:15:38,997
A bunch of runts and a couple of ladies?
1451
01:15:39,081 --> 01:15:40,457
American ladies.
1452
01:15:45,295 --> 01:15:46,755
Not my eyes!
1453
01:15:51,342 --> 01:15:53,886
I'm sorry to do this, Dr. Watson.
1454
01:15:53,970 --> 01:15:56,597
I'm gonna crush your head.
1455
01:15:56,681 --> 01:15:59,809
There's gonna be brains everywhere.
1456
01:15:59,893 --> 01:16:02,104
And I'll not be cleaning up after.
1457
01:16:02,186 --> 01:16:03,521
I know you're threatening me,
1458
01:16:03,604 --> 01:16:05,273
but I can't understand
a word you're saying.
1459
01:16:06,233 --> 01:16:08,569
You're staying, Dr. Watson,
1460
01:16:08,652 --> 01:16:12,448
but I'll be on my way to America
by the time the bomb explodes.
1461
01:16:12,530 --> 01:16:13,990
Sherlock will save me.
1462
01:16:14,073 --> 01:16:15,992
- You'll see.
- I'll see.
1463
01:16:16,076 --> 01:16:17,911
He won't let me down.
1464
01:16:17,994 --> 01:16:19,787
He won't. He's my best friend.
1465
01:16:21,497 --> 01:16:22,832
Dollface!
1466
01:16:27,421 --> 01:16:30,548
Come on, boys.
The bomb goes off in ten minutes.
1467
01:16:30,631 --> 01:16:33,844
Sherlock! Sherlock!
1468
01:16:34,802 --> 01:16:36,889
Help!
1469
01:16:36,971 --> 01:16:38,849
Sherlock!
1470
01:16:39,515 --> 01:16:40,725
Help!
1471
01:16:42,019 --> 01:16:43,270
Watson!
1472
01:16:45,605 --> 01:16:49,568
Oh, God, if you save me,
I'll never touch myself again.
1473
01:16:49,650 --> 01:16:52,028
- Watson!
- Sherlock.
1474
01:16:52,112 --> 01:16:53,614
You've come for me. I knew you would.
1475
01:16:53,697 --> 01:16:55,949
Watson, good news.
1476
01:16:56,033 --> 01:16:57,493
You're innocent.
1477
01:16:58,243 --> 01:16:59,995
Yes. I know.
1478
01:17:00,578 --> 01:17:02,081
Thank you.
1479
01:17:02,247 --> 01:17:03,332
Can you forgive me?
1480
01:17:03,414 --> 01:17:06,710
Of course. Now, be a good chap
and get me out of this damn thing
1481
01:17:06,793 --> 01:17:08,252
before it crushes my skull.
1482
01:17:08,337 --> 01:17:10,047
Yes? There's a good chap. Go on.
1483
01:17:10,922 --> 01:17:12,673
I won't leave you. Not again.
1484
01:17:12,757 --> 01:17:14,134
That's a lovely sentiment,
1485
01:17:14,217 --> 01:17:16,845
but I really need you
to free me from this gear right now.
1486
01:17:17,345 --> 01:17:19,430
Emotions are spewing from my heart.
1487
01:17:19,806 --> 01:17:21,265
- Pull yourself together.
- Okay.
1488
01:17:21,350 --> 01:17:22,392
Stop crying.
1489
01:17:22,475 --> 01:17:24,978
Because we must get the Queen
and everyone else off this ship.
1490
01:17:25,061 --> 01:17:26,939
You see, Hudson has planted a bomb.
1491
01:17:27,064 --> 01:17:28,856
A time bomb, you see?
1492
01:17:28,940 --> 01:17:30,692
- You must free me.
- Do you feel my heart ticking?
1493
01:17:30,775 --> 01:17:32,653
Get me off this fucking wheel!
1494
01:17:33,529 --> 01:17:35,697
All my dreams are coming true.
1495
01:17:35,780 --> 01:17:39,868
In just two minutes, my bomb
will go off, killing the Queen.
1496
01:17:40,327 --> 01:17:42,413
Sherlock Holmes will go down in history
1497
01:17:42,496 --> 01:17:45,873
as the worst detective
the world has ever known.
1498
01:17:45,957 --> 01:17:49,377
And the name Moriarty
will live on forever!
1499
01:17:51,462 --> 01:17:52,965
Father...
1500
01:17:53,340 --> 01:17:55,926
Soon, we shall be together again.
1501
01:17:56,009 --> 01:17:59,096
- In America!
- Yeah!
1502
01:18:05,769 --> 01:18:08,480
The bomb will detonate in one minute.
1503
01:18:08,564 --> 01:18:10,691
Where could it possibly be?
1504
01:18:11,734 --> 01:18:13,318
Wait.
1505
01:18:13,402 --> 01:18:15,069
That kettle drum.
1506
01:18:15,154 --> 01:18:18,115
Those are only ever used
in mounted cavalry formations,
1507
01:18:18,198 --> 01:18:19,658
never in a Marine band.
1508
01:18:19,742 --> 01:18:21,118
Perhaps...
1509
01:18:21,534 --> 01:18:24,037
The bomb is in the drum.
Very good, Watson.
1510
01:18:24,121 --> 01:18:25,873
But the Queen is standing
just beside it.
1511
01:18:25,956 --> 01:18:27,248
She'll be blown to smithereens.
1512
01:18:27,332 --> 01:18:28,917
But how to defuse it in time?
1513
01:18:30,502 --> 01:18:34,214
Time remaining until
bomb detonation: 55 seconds.
1514
01:18:34,381 --> 01:18:37,885
Estimated blast radius
from bomb: 17 feet.
1515
01:18:38,051 --> 01:18:41,054
Time required to move Queen
to safety: 12 seconds.
1516
01:18:41,220 --> 01:18:43,181
Solution: Move through crowd,
1517
01:18:43,265 --> 01:18:46,268
see Millie for the first time,
forget about bomb.
1518
01:18:46,350 --> 01:18:47,728
No.
1519
01:18:51,439 --> 01:18:53,067
Time remaining: 37 seconds.
1520
01:18:53,442 --> 01:18:55,610
Solution: Shoot water main
to douse bomb,
1521
01:18:55,694 --> 01:18:57,988
remember Millie at the park,
forget about bomb.
1522
01:18:58,072 --> 01:18:59,239
No, I forgot about the bomb!
1523
01:19:03,659 --> 01:19:05,953
Watson, what are you doing in my brain?
1524
01:19:06,037 --> 01:19:07,497
I'm doing it.
1525
01:19:07,581 --> 01:19:10,125
I'm communicating without words.
1526
01:19:10,208 --> 01:19:12,836
I can't focus.
I was trying to formulate a plan,
1527
01:19:12,920 --> 01:19:14,671
and I kept getting off track.
1528
01:19:14,755 --> 01:19:17,466
Holmes, no, you don't. Snap out of it.
1529
01:19:17,548 --> 01:19:19,342
I can't. I'm too emotional.
1530
01:19:19,426 --> 01:19:21,845
Look behind me.
The Queen's being blown to bits.
1531
01:19:21,929 --> 01:19:23,430
You have to take control.
1532
01:19:23,514 --> 01:19:25,599
You must be detective for both of us.
1533
01:19:25,681 --> 01:19:26,934
Right.
1534
01:19:28,644 --> 01:19:30,020
I know what I must do.
1535
01:19:30,104 --> 01:19:33,690
Estimated blast radius: 20...
No, 30 feet?
1536
01:19:33,774 --> 01:19:36,693
Account for ship's movement.
Wait, is that a four or a seven?
1537
01:19:36,777 --> 01:19:38,654
Math is so hard. Hold on.
1538
01:19:38,737 --> 01:19:40,864
What does that "X" mean?
Or is that a plus?
1539
01:19:40,948 --> 01:19:43,867
What is that thing? Angle of approach?
I don't know how to do angles.
1540
01:19:43,951 --> 01:19:45,284
Should've listened more in school.
1541
01:19:45,368 --> 01:19:46,661
Screw it. Charge!
1542
01:19:48,831 --> 01:19:50,039
Out of my way!
1543
01:19:50,498 --> 01:19:51,625
Move!
1544
01:19:51,875 --> 01:19:54,545
Nine. Eight.
1545
01:19:54,627 --> 01:19:56,087
Coming through!
1546
01:19:56,171 --> 01:19:57,713
- So sorry!
- Seven.
1547
01:19:58,923 --> 01:20:00,050
Come on.
1548
01:20:00,300 --> 01:20:01,385
Move your tuchis!
1549
01:20:02,010 --> 01:20:03,220
Sorry!
1550
01:20:05,096 --> 01:20:07,306
Five. Four.
1551
01:20:10,685 --> 01:20:12,103
Two.
1552
01:20:16,734 --> 01:20:17,735
Shit.
1553
01:20:23,823 --> 01:20:25,158
Huzzah.
1554
01:20:25,451 --> 01:20:27,286
Huzzah for Sherlock Holmes.
1555
01:20:27,368 --> 01:20:29,579
Sherlock Holmes saved the Titanic.
1556
01:20:30,163 --> 01:20:32,166
- Huzzah!
- Hurrah for Sherlock!
1557
01:20:32,248 --> 01:20:33,708
Bravo, Sherlock!
1558
01:20:33,792 --> 01:20:36,170
Sherlock Holmes
was right about everything!
1559
01:20:36,252 --> 01:20:37,420
Hip hip hooray!
1560
01:20:38,713 --> 01:20:40,256
Thank you.
1561
01:20:41,382 --> 01:20:44,051
But I could never have done it
without Dr. Watson.
1562
01:20:44,136 --> 01:20:45,304
No.
1563
01:20:45,386 --> 01:20:50,183
Let Watson's name
be forever associated with the Titanic.
1564
01:20:50,266 --> 01:20:52,519
So, when you think
of your friends and relatives
1565
01:20:52,603 --> 01:20:56,440
on board the Titanic, just remember,
1566
01:20:56,523 --> 01:21:01,110
Dr. John H. Watson put them there.
1567
01:21:01,194 --> 01:21:02,820
Hooray for Watson!
1568
01:21:03,113 --> 01:21:04,948
Bloody good they didn't hang him.
1569
01:21:06,533 --> 01:21:10,120
Dr. Watson, you saved us.
1570
01:21:10,662 --> 01:21:11,789
Thank you.
1571
01:21:12,331 --> 01:21:14,583
It has been my pleasure
to serve you, Your Majesty.
1572
01:21:31,350 --> 01:21:32,810
No, Millie.
1573
01:21:43,404 --> 01:21:44,947
I have a confession to make.
1574
01:21:45,488 --> 01:21:47,532
I'm not actually in love with you.
1575
01:21:47,990 --> 01:21:50,284
In order to conclude my investigation,
1576
01:21:50,368 --> 01:21:53,579
it was imperative
that I understood what love felt like.
1577
01:21:53,663 --> 01:21:55,289
I'm sorry to have led you on.
1578
01:21:56,833 --> 01:21:58,210
I have a confession as well.
1579
01:21:58,292 --> 01:21:59,836
I was also not in love.
1580
01:21:59,920 --> 01:22:01,255
I was conducting an experiment
1581
01:22:01,337 --> 01:22:03,506
on how easy it is
to manipulate the male ego.
1582
01:22:04,425 --> 01:22:06,885
- What?
- I'm sorry I led you on.
1583
01:22:07,594 --> 01:22:09,721
Well, I have another confession.
1584
01:22:10,471 --> 01:22:12,515
I was just pretending to have a big ego,
1585
01:22:12,765 --> 01:22:15,018
so as to make you think that
your experiment was working
1586
01:22:15,101 --> 01:22:17,145
so that I could conclude
my experiment on you.
1587
01:22:17,354 --> 01:22:19,106
Well, I had to lead you on,
1588
01:22:19,189 --> 01:22:22,443
because I was doing an experiment
about how men think they can manipulate
1589
01:22:22,525 --> 01:22:23,818
female scientists
while they're doing experiments.
1590
01:22:23,902 --> 01:22:25,194
Well, I have another confession to make.
1591
01:22:37,666 --> 01:22:41,003
You will be shocked to learn
that was my first kiss.
1592
01:22:41,377 --> 01:22:43,671
Mine as well,
and we've already mastered it.
1593
01:22:43,756 --> 01:22:45,257
Yes, indeed.
1594
01:22:45,340 --> 01:22:49,677
All aboard! She sails in 20 minutes!
1595
01:22:49,761 --> 01:22:51,220
Hurry, everyone! Step lively!
1596
01:22:51,305 --> 01:22:53,682
Enjoy your trip
on the safest ship to sail.
1597
01:22:54,390 --> 01:22:56,809
- Goodbye.
- Farewell, Grace.
1598
01:22:57,351 --> 01:22:58,353
Goodbye, Millie.
1599
01:22:58,436 --> 01:23:00,814
Make sure you get plenty of bed rest.
1600
01:23:00,898 --> 01:23:02,608
There's a good chance you're pregnant.
1601
01:23:02,690 --> 01:23:03,983
I hope so.
1602
01:23:04,068 --> 01:23:05,903
From the kissing?
1603
01:23:07,029 --> 01:23:08,864
- Yes.
- Yes.
1604
01:23:10,239 --> 01:23:12,451
- What a grand ship.
- Yes.
1605
01:23:13,952 --> 01:23:15,244
Watson, look.
1606
01:23:16,079 --> 01:23:17,247
It's Billy Zane.
1607
01:23:18,164 --> 01:23:19,541
Sherlock.
1608
01:23:21,877 --> 01:23:23,837
He's breathtaking.
1609
01:23:24,253 --> 01:23:26,422
Where's the bar on this canoe?
1610
01:23:30,719 --> 01:23:32,261
Holmes.
1611
01:23:32,345 --> 01:23:34,639
I believe I may have solved
the one mystery
1612
01:23:34,722 --> 01:23:36,809
which has baffled you all these years.
1613
01:23:38,101 --> 01:23:39,269
What?
1614
01:23:42,898 --> 01:23:44,315
Would you mind?
1615
01:23:47,528 --> 01:23:48,820
Do you like it?
1616
01:23:48,904 --> 01:23:50,155
Let's see here.
1617
01:23:51,364 --> 01:23:54,659
- It suits you.
- I think it's perfect.
1618
01:23:54,743 --> 01:23:56,703
Really? You're not just saying that?
1619
01:23:56,787 --> 01:23:59,539
No, I'm not just saying it.
1620
01:23:59,622 --> 01:24:01,582
- Good.
- Thank you, Watson.
1621
01:24:01,667 --> 01:24:03,502
And I have something for you as well.
1622
01:24:03,585 --> 01:24:05,128
- No.
- Please.
1623
01:24:05,212 --> 01:24:06,588
- Step over here.
- Why?
1624
01:24:06,671 --> 01:24:09,257
I don't deserve anything.
1625
01:24:10,050 --> 01:24:11,135
My dear Watson.
1626
01:24:12,261 --> 01:24:13,387
What do you think?
1627
01:24:13,970 --> 01:24:16,013
It's beautiful.
1628
01:24:43,250 --> 01:24:45,711
Telegram for Professor Moriarty.
1629
01:24:48,005 --> 01:24:49,256
Professor?
1630
01:24:56,680 --> 01:24:58,140
Boy, who sent this?
1631
01:25:17,283 --> 01:25:22,283
Subtitles by explosiveskull
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