All language subtitles for Hotel Babylon s04e03.eg

SAM: 'Some things in life never
change. They're as true today

'as they were in, say,
the era of the three-day week.

'Both now and then, people have gone
to extraordinary lengths to secure a fortune.'

Hello, love. What's your name?

SIREN WAILS
Bollocks.

Sorry. No rest for the wicked.

'Everyone wants a future where
they don't have to worry about money.'

SIREN CONTINUES WAILING

Morning, cock.

'How people go about achieving it
depends on who they are.

'Some are prepared
to steal from others.

Hello, my darlings.
Let's get you hid.

'Some of us will do anything
to stay awake

'and earn their precious overtime.'

Hi. Hi!
'Some of us never had to worry.'

SHE SIGHS

'And some of us rely on luck
to see us through.'

'Not that it always works.'

Oh. Uh, uh, uh...

'But whatever we do,
we'll all keep on hoping

'for that extra bit of cash or piece
of good fortune to come our way,

'just like people always have.'

Listen, I'll give you a monkey
if you let me go.

HE CHUCKLES
In ya get.

'So if there's a chance to discover
some hidden treasure...'

'..wouldn't we all take it?'

HUBBUB
I'm dealing with this gentleman here.

So if you could just be patient.
Thank you. ..Yes, sir, how can I help you?

"John and Rob and Ray looked,
but they couldn't see.

"Where, oh, where could Jimmy be?"

What does it mean?
May I have a look at that?

No, you may not. It's mine. Huh!

HUBBUB
Sir, madam, if you're patient...

Anyone been looking for me?

Mr Barnes, as I said before, I will
call you if anybody asks for you.

Right. Well, I'll be in the spa
if anyone does want me.

Busy this morning.
You can say that again.

Gino, I need a favour. I need you
to keep your eyes open for someone.

You won't be able to miss him.

He's got this big, ugly,
moon-shaped scar on his face.

Doesn't sound like the sort of
person would like to meet you in a dark alley.

No! He's an old friend,
a bit of a joker.

He always likes to surprise me.
Ah.

Anyway, I wanna surprise him
this time, so, er...just...

Count on me.

You shouldn't be
on your feet so much.

And you really should think about
getting yourself some flats.

Wash your mouth out!

Right, do you have my water?

SHE GASPS AND WHINES
Darren, I said I wanted fizzy water.

Oh, sorry. That's all they had.

Here, which do you prefer?

Disposable or washable?

What ARE those?

Nipple pads.

Thank you.
I just thought you might need them.

Darren, go away.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Right, I'm going to the staff
meeting. I'll be back soon.

Anna, why are you
carrying on with this?

Everyone knows he's not the father,
he knows he's not the father.

Why don't you just put
the poor guy out of his misery?

He didn't look miserable to me.

I happen to be quite a catch,
thank you very much.

Oh, sorry I'm late.

I had to deal with a complaint
about housekeeping.

God! Don't we all miss Jackie?
SHE LAUGHS

Ooh! Is that the book
that everyone's got?

Who IS Harold Kelly?

Bloody hell! A bit busy out there.
Is something going on?

Um, I was just about to say

that Harold Kelly
was a prolific jewel thief

and in 1973, he was arrested
right outside the hotel.

He's been in prison ever since.

What did he do,
nick the Crown Jewels?

My Great-Uncle Buck, in Spain,
was a notorious thief.

What did he steal, a goat?

HE SCOFFS
A goat! 27 goats.

Well, Harold died recently,
in prison,

leaving behind him his
autobiography,

which he insisted
was published posthumously.

It hit the shelves today.

Why are they all walking around
with a copy of it? It's spooky.

That's where we get to the juicy
bit.

You see, just before he was
arrested,

Harold stole 12 cut emeralds,

which he claims he hid
somewhere in the hotel.

And the book contains clues
as to where they're hidden.

SHE GASPS

"Find what's missing
from Black Princess Lake

"and you'll find the treasure,
which is yours to take."

Oh, dear. Not exactly Yeats, is it?

SAM LAUGHS
It's a hoax. Do you really think there's buried treasure HERE?

Doesn't matter. The books are flying
off the shelves, hence all the people out there.

It won't be long before the press
hear about this, which is good -

free publicity for the hotel.
No, I want to downplay this as much as possible.

Oh, I disagree. Let's get
the world and his wife in here.

If they wanna know something,
they have to be paying guests. Milk the buggers for every penny.

And what about our real guests?
They should come first.

BOTH: Hotel comes first.

Er...you're right, Juliet,
of course.

Guests come first.
Thank you, Sam.

Right, that's it, everybody. Let's
try not to be too distracted by the treasure.

Anna, today will be quite full-on.
Are you sure you're gonna be OK?

Yeah. Yeah, I've got ages to go.

Not really.
You're, what, eight months?

Yeah, yeah. Like I said, ages to go.

Well, if it gets too much,
just let me know,

and don't carry anything heavy...

like books.

Sam's right. All this hoo-ha
about hidden gems in the hotel -

it's a load of tosh.

If this Kelly chap did hide
the gems here all those years ago,

surely somebody would have
found them by now.

No, but imagine
if they were still here

and you were the one to find them.

SHE SIGHS
Oh, how you could spend the money.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Oh, where are you? Oh, you know
I've picked a day for it.

(Hold on,
she's standing right next to me.)

So, the book.
What's all the fuss about?

Oh!
HE SHRIEKS

SHE PANTS
Oh, my God!

It's not coming, is it?
No, no.

No, it's OK, it's OK.
It's a phantom contraction.

It'll happen every now and again.
I just need to...

I just need to sit down somewhere
quietly for five minutes.

Course. Do you need me to help?
Oh, no. I'll be OK.

OK. Yeah.

Phew.

Hey!

Cow!

SHE EXHALES DEEPLY

It's mine!
THEY ALL GRUNT

Give it back!
I was here first.

In your dreams, posh boy.

Ooh! Oh!
SHE PANTS

Oh, God.

Ha! Suckers.

BOTH: Ah-ha!

THEY BOTH GRUNT
Give it to me!

HE GROANS
Oh, don't be ridiculous.

I'm gonna go and get my own copy.

Well, go on, then.
I'm going to.

BEN SHRIEKS

SHE GASPS
Oh, money.

HE SIGHS

Give me one moment, Mother.
How do you do?

I'm Juliet Miller,
the general manager.

Welcome to Hotel Babylon.

How do you do? Laurence Evergreen.

I very much hope you can help me.
I have an important meeting.

I need to find somewhere
for Mother to stay today.

Your mother?
My mother is Constance Evergreen.

I assume you've heard of her.
The actress? I thought she was...

Yes, of course I have.
It's a matter of life and death.

She mustn't be left on her own.

There must be someone
with her at all times.

That's not really a service
that we provide, Mr Evergreen.

Double, triple - you name your price.

Mr Evergreen? Sam Franklin, owner.

I think what Ms Miller
was saying

is that while this is a service
we don't normally provide,

I'm sure we can find something
your mother will like.

Yes, that is exactly
what I was about to say.

And I'm sure that Mr Franklin
would like to make sure

that your mother has everything
she needs, personally.

Mother...

Mrs Evergreen,
welcome to Hotel Babylon.

I don't like the look of you.
You remind me of Errol Flynn.

Bastard!

Gave me the clap...
before it was fashionable.

Keep this quiet.
Sure.

Er...you see these boxes here, Dave?

Can you get them up to the...
MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY

Yeah. Cheers, mate.

Evergreen, like the old actress?
This is Constance Evergreen, Anna.

SHE LAUGHS
Don't be silly. She's dead.

If she were alive, she'd be, like,
really, really, really, really old.

You're like an understudy I once
had. Screwed my husband - the third.

Or was it the fourth?
I can't remember.

Which was it, Laurence?
The third one, Mother.

Well, I think I'll leave you
in Ms Miller's capable hands.

Um, enjoy your stay, Ms Evergreen.

Not bloody likely.

Sorry, what? Nothing.

Now, Mother's a little prickly at
first, but lovely when you get to know her.

Whoever you assign to her
mustn't let her out of their sight

and they must not
let her near alcohol.

Mr...
Four. Four times the going rate.

We'll make sure that
she's supervised at all times.

My!

But aren't you the spitting image
of Dennis Price?

Am I? Thank you.

We should have made
Kind Hearts And Coronets together.

Robert Hamer wanted me, of course.

Joan Greenwood was
a contemptible whore.

I see.
Still, it meant that we met.

Those were the most
wonderful years of my life.

I never forgot you, Denny.

Tony, could I have a word?

Yes, I can hold. And then, when you
give them your interview,

you can let something slip
about the emeralds.

You know, accidentally on purpose.
Let's see how busy we can make this place.

Ooh...eek.

Awkward.

Who do I listen to -
my boss or my boss's boss?

Do you generally just vocalise
every thought?

Oh. Did I just say that out loud?

Mmm. Mmm.

Turn.

Ah!

SHE SLURPS

SHE BELCHES
Oh.

PHONE RINGS

PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

Front desk. Ben speaking.

Arthur Barnes' room, please.

I'm sorry, Mr Barnes isn't answering.
Would you like to leave a mes...?

DIALLING TONE
Hello?

In your own time.

Ninth floor.

Sorry, I don't have anything
for a tip.

That's OK. I...

I have all the tip I need.

Arthur, where are you off to?
A spot of brunch, I think.

Ah.

Did you see the woman in this room?
Who could miss her?

HE CHUCKLES
One day I would like the love of a woman like that.

HE LAUGHS
For a couple of hours.

THEY BOTH LAUGH

Never underestimate the love of
a good woman - best thing in the world.

I spent 15 years with
the love of my life, my Rita.

Passed away recently.

Oh, Arthur, I'm so sorry.

Don't be. You know the old saying.

Better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all.

It's very true. I wouldn't trade
a moment of my time with Rita.

LIFT DINGS
Oh.

Let's split up.

HIGH-PITCHED WHINING

WHINING CONTINUES

Oi! Come on, out of there.

Come on. This is hotel property!
Out of bounds.

Unfortunately,
there is absolutely no evidence

to back up the claims that
Mr Kelly made in his autobiography.

So you're saying it's nothing more
than a publicity stunt?

Over the last 35 years,
this hotel has undergone

several periods of major renovation,

so if Mr Kelly did hide the jewels,
then I'm afraid they're long gone.

Emily James, thank you very much.

Thank you. Cut there.

Thanks, Emily. It'll make the
lunchtime news. Thanks, Dustin. Um...

You didn't hear this from me,

but the jewels may be more real
than I made out.

Thank you.

Phew.

Why did you never reply
to my letters, Denny?

Er...I never got any.

I was always moving around a lot,
you know.

Oh, look at this for timing!

Oh, I was incredible in this.

I should have got top billing,
of course.

Have you got everything you need?

Oh, you're always
so good to me, Denny.

Now, I've got to run a little
errand, so I'm going to nip out.

But I need you to promise me
that you're going to stay here.

Haven't I always done
everything you asked, Denny?

Remember Brighton?
SHE LAUGHS

How could you forget?
THEY BOTH CHUCKLE

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

I've been keeping
my eyes open, Arthur,

but I haven't seen anything
of your friend.

You know, the joker with the scar.

I thought he'd be here by now.

I really want it over and done with.

Want what over and done with?
Hmm?

I've said too much. I shouldn't.
No, no, no, please.

Arthur, discretion
and Gino Primarola go together

like roast beef and Yorkshire pie.

I mentioned my Rita to you earlier.
Well, technically speaking, she wasn't my Rita,

she was already married...

to the kind of man
you don't divorce.

A Catholic.

A gangster.

Gary Pointer.
Ooh!

Of course I've heard of him.
The "Shy Don", they call him -

because he never
comes out of his house. That's right, hasn't come out in 15 years -

not since the day his wife ran off
with her driving instructor.

Ah. You're the driving instructor?

But what has that got to do
with your friend with the scar?

The man with the scar
isn't my friend.

He works for Rita's husband.

And when he gets here...
he'll take me to him.

He's going to take you to him?

But he's a dangerous man.
He going to...

Rita and I were living in Australia
till she passed away.

Before I left,
I settled all me debts

and I was left with
a grand total of �28,391,

and I'm gonna spend every last
penny.

I don't need money any more,
you see, Gino.

I've come home to die.

But, Arthur,
there's so much to live for.

Not for me.

The joke's on him, see?
I'm already dying.

The big C.

Oh. Arthur...

I'm sorry.

They say the last six months
are the worst.

(I don't wanna live
through that. Would you?)

No.

OK, thank you. Bye.

I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
Yes.

I can't believe people are falling
for this rubbish.

I mean, look at this.

"John and Rob and Ray looked,
but they didn't see.

"Where, oh, where could Jimmy be?"

What does that mean?

It's a riddle. Oh, really(?)

SHE SIGHS
If I could just...

If I could just work it out.

Do you know how hard it is being
surrounded by wealth every day

and knowing I could spend it so much
better than any of these plebs?

SHE GASPS DRAMATICALLY
Actually, that's quite clever. What's actually quite clever?

Well, it's the Doors. The band.

John Densmore, Robby Krieger,
Ray Manzarek,

Jimmy - Jim - Morrison,
the lead singer...who died.

SHE GASPS

So he's like a lost Door.

We're looking for a lost door!
Sam, you're a genius.

Yeah. But where is it?

How are we going to find a lost
door?

WE?! I solved the clue.
It's my book.

SHE GASPS

Oh!
SHE PANTS

Are you OK? Oh, yeah. Just a...just a
moment of excruciating agony,

and it eventually ebbs away.
Can I do anything?

Yeah, actually, could you keep an
eye on the desk till Ben gets back?

Thank you very much.

Er...Anna...
I'm busy.

I need to speak to you,
and it's very important,

so could you meet me
down here at two o'clock?

Why are you being so mysterious?
What do you know about the treasure?

Just meet me here at two o'clock,
OK?

John, Rob, Ray, Jimmy...

Rob.

Robert.

Roberto.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

HE WHISTLES

James Vineyard '49,
John Adams Vineyard '57,

Raymond De Veil '56,

Vina da Roberto Silvera '52...

214.

Room 214.

Yes!

Hello?

HE TAPS THE WALL

DOOR UNLOCKS

BOTH PANT AND MOAN

Ms Evergreen?

Connie?

Connie!

Denny?

Connie?

LOVERS MOAN AND PANT

BOTH PANT AND GROAN

How many more of you people?!

SHE SCREAMS

Dead man, second floor
supply cupboard.

You must come now.

SHE SINGS SOFTLY

SHE GROANS GENTLY

Oh, Denny, you came back!
Yes.

SHE GIGGLES
Oh! Careful.

He was right here, I swear!

And you're sure it was this floor?

I'm sure it was this floor!

Maybe we should check
the other floors, just in case. It was THIS floor!

He was right here and he was dead!

DOOR OPENS
Is everything OK?

Er...false alarm.

A dead body doesn't just
get up and walk away.

Someone must have been playing a
prank on you. Who would do this?

HE TAPS
Maybe... Sam, what are you doing?

Nothing.

LOVERS GRUNT AND GROAN LOUDLY

THUMPING

Oh, James! James! Yeah!

Oh! James!
LOUD THUMPING

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

MOANING AND THUMPING STOPS

Wha...?
SHE GASPS

Room service.

Oh...

REVS DRILL

HAROLD KELLY: Hello, my darlings.
Let's get you hid.

SHE LAUGHS

What sort of a twisted place is
this, employing bloody perverts?

I'm very sorry.
If we could just step into my of... No, thank you. My wife and I

are leaving
and we're never coming back.

Come on, Susan. Sharon!

Where's Anna?
Dealing with a guest.

Emily. Mm-hm?

What exactly did you tell the press
about the treasure?

And what did you and Sam talk about
earlier? Gosh, were Sam and I talking?

Listen, Sam can be very persuasive
when he wants to be.

I don't know what you mean.
Oh, I think you do. Oh.

SHE GASPS SOFTLY

SHE TUTS
Oh, shit! Oh!

You're there already?!
You do realise you're early?

No. No, OK, the caff on the corner.

OK, I'm on my way.

Come on, Connie,
we're going for a walk.

SHE SLURS
Why the bloody hell would I wanna go for a walk? Oh!

It's you!

Are we eloping, Denny?

Hello. What are you up to?

What?

Either you tell me,
or I'll tell everyone.

Tell them what? That you found the
treasure... Shh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, you found it!
Shh! Shh!

The first clue was about a lost door.

There is a lost door
in the wine cellar.

There was a picture of it right
there, all along!

This is like serendipity, or what?

I mean, I'm meant
to find the emeralds.

I just know I am!
God, this is incredible!

It's like my whole life I've just
been leading up to this moment.

All the let-downs,
all the crappy boyfriends.

Cover for me. I've gotta go
and see if they're really there.

OK. For half.

What about for love?
What about for half?

5%. 20.

10%, but you guard the cellar.

Deal.
BOTH SPIT AND CLICK FINGERS

Sorry, Connie,
this won't take a minute.

Olivia. You Tony?

What the fump is this?

Er...fump?
I choose not to curse.

Do you know who the fump I am?

Er...Olivia Nightingale, I hope.

And Olivia Nightingale
is not a secret agent.

No. No, I didn't think you were.

I was under the impression I was
performing in the Hotel Babylon,

but I have to meet you
in this shoe-hole.

I do not do clandestine,
understand me, hon?

Well, I'm sorry about that.

It's just it's a bit of
a tricky situation.

You call that an apology?
I call that a fumpin' disgrace.

And see this? They used cream
from a fumping can.

I specifically said
no cream from a can.

You know what cream does
to my voice?

SHE SINGS ASCENDING SOUL NOTES

VOICE SCREECHES ON HIGH NOTE

You hear that? All gloopy.

That was a horrible noise.

What the fump does she mean by that?

No, no. She didn't mean anything.

Um, Connie, this is Olivia.
She's a singer.

Singing?!

I had a poodle once who sang
like that

when Stanley Holloway sat on him.

I... Just...
Lovely man.

Yeah. I'd really like to apologise
for that, actually, Olivia.

Is this some sort of fumping joke,
you fumping piece of shoe?

Well, fump you
and fump this old biddy!

I'll fump you both up.

I'll rip your dimp off
and shove it up your ashtray!

No. Olivia, let me explain.

Don't do anything hasty.
Just wait a moment.

Just one minute of your...

Connie, do you realise
what you've just done?!

Where am I supposed to find
a replacement for Olivia now?

RUSTLING AND CREAKING

SHE SCREAMS

SHE WHIMPERS

SHE SCREAMS

Slow down, Denny!

Jesus, Tony!

Will you chill? Excuse me?

SHE SIGHS
Getting old's a pain in the arse.

What's going on here?

I don't get employed any more.

What?

So the eccentric
old lady thing is...

I don't get to do what I love - act.

So you act all the time?

Does your son know?

I'm rather good
at staying in character.

Yes, you can say that again.
He has his games, I have mine.

He hasn't got
a business meeting today.

He's got a strumpet
in Clerkenwell he sees.

So...

...are you gonna tell me
why Olivia's so important?

Can you keep a secret?

I can try.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

I'm busy.

What - another one?

I swear on my eyes, he was in there!
You may want to swear on something that actually works.

I think we should call the police.
Are you insane?

In case it's not a prank.
This is no prank.

I keep telling you, I touched him.
He was cold!

But he grabbed you?
That was the killer's hand.

So we're looking for a dead man with
a scar on his face and two left hands? Yeah.

Sam, why don't you give the police a
ring and tell them that?

Um, Ms Evergreen?
Um, that isn't your suite.

Where's Tony?

I-I didn't like my suite.
It smelled of Oliver Reed.

Glorious bastard.

Right, well, let's hope
this one smells a bit better -

maybe, um, George Clooney.

I wish.

Ridiculous.

I'm telling you, I'm cursed.

Dead rise around me. What?

Haven't you heard?

Today, I find not one
but two dead men,

and both vanish.

What do you mean, dead men?

It was horrible,
especially the second one.

I never forget his face.

Shot between the eyes.

And that scar...

Scar? Where?

Like this.

Oh, my God.
DARREN: Cheers.

Ah-ha! There you are.

Oh, I just started my break.
Do you want a bite?

No, put that down!
Oh, please, Anna, I'm starving.

It's an emergency!
Is it?

Right. Now, if you could
just knock this wall down for me.

What? I-I don't...
I don't think that's...

Trust me, it's important.

Look, I may not have the best job
in the world, but I need it.

For goodness' sake, Darren!

Anna, no! I'm not gonna go around
knocking walls...

REVS DRILL

SHE GAGS

Hello, Gino. What can I do for you?

Arthur, I need to talk to you.

Two men have been killed
in the hotel.

One of them had a scar on his
face...

...a crescent-shaped scar.

Bloody hell!

That's what I thought.

Very strange.

But then I stopped to think
and look at the big picture.

I have read a lot of detective
novels, Arthur, especially Sherlock Holmes.

And he say, "When you have
eliminated the impossible, my dear Watson,

"whatever remains, however
improbable, must be the truth."

So I think, "Who remains
that is still involved?"

And it is you.

So that means I killed them.

Er...no. No, that's insane.
You're a driving instructor.

No, no.

It means you must have
a gardening angel.

Who? That I do not know.

Who would be looking out for me?

Oh, Gino, I had it all planned.

I don't wanna die in pain, slowly.

You'd better go.
I don't want you implicated.

Implicated in what?
I didn't want it to be like this.

But, like I said, it has to end now.

I just have to do it myself.
HE GASPS

Where did you get that?
I just want it over with.

I wanna be with my Rita.

Yeah, but, Arthur,
this is not the way.

What choice have I got? I've got
a bloody guardian angel I don't want.

Bye, Gino.

Thanks for everything.

Er...maybe Rita
is your guardian angel.

Maybe she doesn't want you
to die yet.

Are you saying that the woman I love

is protecting me
from beyond the grave?

Well...

...stranger things
have happened, Arthur.

Give me the gun.

I am such an idiot.

Get rid of it.
Uh...uh...

Gino.

Thank you. Oh, hmm.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

HE FLUSHES THE TOILET

Damn.

Finished.

Oh, about time.

HE SIGHS
Do you want me to go first?

Darren, don't be so sexist!

Yeah, actually, would you mind?

Yeah, yeah.

DOOR CREAKS

THEY BOTH GASP

ANNA EXHALES SHARPLY

THEY BOTH SCREAM

Ugh! Oh...

DARREN CLEARS HIS THROAT

Harold's second clue was...
Mmm?

"...Find what's missing
from Black Princess Lake.

"The treasures are there,
which are yours to take."

ANNA SIGHS

What does that mean?
I have no idea.

But we've just gotta start looking.

Got it.

What do you think about Jasper?
Who?

If it's a boy.
Or Matilda if it's a girl.

Those old-fashioned names
are coming back, aren't they?

Darren, less chatter
and more looking.

See, I've always wanted a big family.
Haven't you? Five or six.

What are you talking about?!

Oh, I just assumed...

Well, now that we've
moved things on...

Well, you know, that we'd, one day...

have...

you know, sex.

Oh, Darren! No!
I don't want to talk about THAT.

It's just you're on your own and...
Yes, Darren.

Yes, yes, I am on my own.

And this is not how I thought
this was going to be.

I thought I was going to get
to enjoy having a baby.

I thought I was going to get
to go shopping

and buy lots of lovely little
clothes and decorate a nursery

in my gorgeous house in Hampstead
with my husband, who loves me.

But I am not!

All right.
We'll see how it goes, then.

SHE SIGHS

Here we are.
Olivia's just called, actually.

She's on her way.
She's just stuck in traffic.

So, er...we'll just wait here.

Appreciate that.

Thanks, guys.

Hi, Olivia, it's Tony Casemore.

I'm very sorry about what's happened.

Um...but I really do need you
here today, so if you could just...

HE MUTTERS SOFTLY

HE GROANS
No, no, no.

Oh! Oh!

Probably the worst thing is
I didn't get to test my theory.

The emeralds could be sitting
in that very room as we speak.

As we peek?

BEN AND EMILY LAUGH
Oh, yes, very funny.

Get it all out.
THEY LAUGH

Oh, marvellous. Now I get to enjoy
the creme of the Primarola wit.

Come on, then, Gino, do your worst.

Everyone all right?

What's wrong with you?
Have you found the jewels?

Yeah, like I'd still be here
with you losers. HE LAUGHS

James think he's worked out
the door clue. What door clue?

Wine. I mean wine clue.

HE SHRIEKS
You know something, don't you?

What? No. Me? God, course not!
Where's Anna?

HE BANGS THE DESK

MAN: Ah!

Hello, sir.
Welcome to Hotel Babylon.

Arthur Barnes. I wanna see him.

I'll try his room for you.

What name shall I give?
Um...

Mr...Duck.

He doesn't appear to be there.
Would you like to leave a message? I'll wait.

What is this place?
What's down here?

No idea.
I've never seen it before.

Well, a fat lot of good you were.

I'm sorry. They forced it out of me.
Well, the deal is off.

A secret room.
It's mine! I found it!

And I lay claim to it!

It's not the moon, Anna.

Oi! What are you lot doing down
here?

Anna has figured out the first clue.

Oh, she has, has she? I thought you
weren't interested.

That's when it wasn't real. What
about you? You've got more than enough money.

Yeah, but I like the fun of it all.

It's all about the chase, Sam.

HE MUTTERS

SHE MUTTERS SOFTLY

Oh, my God!
GUN CLATTERS

Have you found it?
ANNA EXCLAIMS

Chateau Lafite '66.
I've died and gone to heaven.

THEY ALL GROAN
Oh, James!

Oh, for God's sake.

LOUD SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYS
OLIVIA: Come on, give me more.

Come on, come on, come on. Come on!

Ever since the day you...

Tony, there you are. We were
wondering where you'd got to.

I had been looking for her.

I called her

and fumping well apologised
and fumping well begged her.

Your friend's on the terrace,
by the way.

I've got to finish the flowers.

Uh...

Mmm. Denny!

We're not in Brighton now.

# ..You came

# You've been amazing, yeah

# So amazing... #

OK, so now we've got
just one thing missing.

OLIVIA CONTINUES SINGING

..Been amazing, babe

So amazing, come on!

Yes, you are...

OLIVIA'S SINGING DROWNS SPEECH

MUSIC FADES

Everyone's disappeared.

I'm checking downstairs for 'em now.
Just don't panic.

All right.

DOOR SLAMS SHUT

Eugh!

Right, er...we need to be smarter
about this to solve the clue.

Darren, you said something about
Black Princess Lake.

Er...yeah, yeah. So...

A lake named after a black princess.

Maybe the words are separate.

A lake named after
a princess - Diana.

Black Diana. Diana Ross!

What - Diana Ross has the emeralds?

No, Gino. But, Emily...

SHE MUTTERS SOFTLY
Find what's missing. Black Princess...

Swan. Black swan. Swan princess.

Swan Lake.

SHE GASPS

Oh!

TONY: What's this place?

ANNA GASPS AND GROANS
TONY: Anna!

EMILY: OK, so, black...

I've got something to show you
and it's important. Are you OK?

Oh, it's passing.

THE OTHERS CHATTER

Oh!
WATER SPLOSHES

Oh, my waters just broke. Oh, please
tell me I missed my shoes.

BEN: All right, Anna, it's OK!
Well, someone call an ambulance!

We need to get you out of here.
No, no, no, you go.

You go. I want to stay here.

In fact, all of you go. I just need
a couple of minutes here alone.

Anna, we are not leaving you alone.
We are here for you.

You really don't have to be.

Oh, Mr Duck, there's Arthur Barnes.

Arthur Barnes!
SCREAMING

I'm Gary Pointer. You stole my wife.

Turn round and face me, Arthur.

You're not Arthur Barnes.

Who the bloody hell are you?

I'm a messenger, Mr Pointer.
You what? Ooh! Aarggh!

OK. Who sent you?

One of your many rivals.

Does it matter which?
Why the charade?

You wouldn't leave your house, I
couldn't get in.

I needed to find something
that would bring you to me.

What about my boys? You killed 'em.

Amateurs.
I know you who are.

Your reputation precedes you.

Mallory.

Goodbye, Mr Pointer.

SHE GASPS

Oi! Aarggh!

SHE GRUNTS

Tanya, get security
and call the police.

OK.

ANNA: No.
Be sensible, Anna.

You cannot have your baby down here.

It's fine!
I like it down here, it's nice.

We need to get you upstairs.
I'll carry you.

Or not.

(SIGHS) Look, can you all just...
just leave me alone?

I just need a little bit of time
just to get my head round all of this.

Oh, there's nothing to get your
head around. You're having a baby.

You're not the first
and won't be the last.

Spoken like a true man.

Why don't you just get a club
and beat her over the head?

SHE WHIMPERS
Oh. Oh.

It's all right, OK?
You need to take deep breaths.

MAN: Anna...

Hmm. Since when did Hotel Babylon
turn into a maternity ward?

Charlie?

Hi, gorgeous.

You know, there's something just
a little bit different about you.

Have you had your hair cut?

Hmm. There goes the icebreaker.
What the hell are you doing here?

Tony called me.

He told me about ev... You traitor!

I told you about Charlie
in confidence.

Look, just go away.
I don't want you here.

Anna, when you told me that, I...
Shut up!

In what world did you two think
that my giving birth

would be the perfect time
for a reunion?!

OK, how does everyone feel about
lifting a very angry woman in labour?

Nobody is going to touch me!

Anna...shut it.

Who are you? Me? Oh, nobody.

Well, give us a hand. Come on.

We need to lift her, but we have to
find a safe way of doing it.

Perfect.

Let's just get her to the lift.
ALL CHATTER

Where the hell have you lot been?
Anna's gone into labour.

What's going on?
Hey, you making a mistake.

Arthur is the victim here. His
name's not Arthur. He's a hit man.

He was here to kill him,
but Juliet hit him with a bottle.

Killed my two boys as well.

Arthur?

Was one a skinny pale man
and the other...?

One with a scar. Yeah, yeah.

Don't you worry about me, Gino,
they haven't got anything on me.

Not so sure - the lobby was full of
people who saw you try to shoot him.

His gun, self-defence.
I'll be out in time for tea.

Not if I give the police the gun
that killed those men.

You lied to me, Arthur.
Never lie to a Salamancan.

We hold a grudge
like you will not believe.

Gino, you make an enemy of me
and you'll regret it.

Fanculo!

Are you OK?
Of course I'm bloody not.

Where have you been?
Oh, God, don't tell me. Let me guess.

You were treasure-hunting.

What happened to
Mr It's A Big Fat Hoax?

It might not be.
You hear what he said?

Two dead men. I told you,
but you wouldn't believe me!

MUTTERS IN CROATIAN

Where are you going?

You said Anna was in labour,
didn't you?

Charlie, why are you here?

That's pretty cool.

No-one's ever made me feel

That I could ever make it

Lord, no-one ever gave me anything

All they did was take it

No-one, no-one ever held my hand

When I needed them to

Oh, no

Nobody but you

Nobody but you-ou-ou

Nobody but you...

I know exactly what I want
for the rest of my life.

I wanna be with you...

and the baby.

Charlie, when I found out
I was pregnant,

all I dreamed of
was hearing you say that.

But I thought I was
never gonna see you again...

so I moved on.

I'm telling you right here,
right now,

I wanna be with you
and the baby, that's it.

You're not here for me,
you're just here

because you wanna do the right thing
for knocked-up Anna.

No, that's not it.

You wouldn't even be here
if it wasn't for the baby.

And what if it's not yours?

What if I lied to Tony?
It's actually Ned's?

Would you still want me then? Would
you still be here? In a heartbeat.

I'm here for you.

Is it Ned's? No, it's bloody not.

He didn't believe in sex before
marriage. He was weird like that.

And in other ways, too. He had
this weird thing when he ate...

I love you, Anna.

I wanna be with you...

..and with our...our little baby.

I miss you. I miss your smile.
I...I miss you telling me off.

You know, life without you
really is just...

Shut up and kiss me,
you big, gorgeous idiot.

..Nobody but you

Oh, yeah...

Mmm. And I certainly missed that.

SHE LAUGHS

Listen...

just one more little thing.

Will you do me the honour of becoming
Mrs Anna Thornton-Wilton-Edwards?

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes! Ah!

Oh! Oh, oh! Oh!

Get off!
GROANING

Where's the ambulance?
I don't know. Who called them?

I thought you called them.
I thought you called them.

Well, I thought he called them.
I thought he called them.

Oh!
Oh, bollocks, I'll do it myself.

Juliet, you've got experience.
You've delivered a baby?

Juliet worked her gap year
in a clinic in Malawi.

I watched births.
I didn't do any deliveries.

Well, just don't tell Anna that.

ANNA GROANING
# ..Lean on me

# No-one ever told me

# You got a friend... #
Would you shut the BLEEP up?

# ..No, no... #
Ho, ho, ho. Ho!

BAND STOPS PLAYING

Well, you heard the lady.
Let's fump outta here.

Phew. All this waiting around
drive me up the bend.

JAMES: Er...what's that?
Ice chips.

She might need to cool down.

How do you know
what ice chips are for?

This is not my first baby, you know.
I'm like Dr Spock.

So what's that for?
She might be hungry.

ANNA: BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP!

We haven't met properly. You must
be Sam Franklin. Charlie Edwards.

Hell of a day.
Always is in this place.

How did you manage?
I used to drink a lot.

LAUGHS
Anything else you need?

ANNA: Charlie, get your BLEEP arse
back in here now!

Oh. Some earplugs, maybe.
SAM LAUGHS

See ya later.

TONY: Oh, guys.
ANNA SHOUTING

BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP
BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP!

I can't take any more pacing,
I have to do something.

Do we know if it's a boy
or a girl yet?

I've bought things for both.

ANNA GROANS, BABY CRYING

BEN EXCLAIMS EXCITEDLY

(I think we're about to find out.)

BABY CRYING

Oh-ho-ho!

It's a girl.

Ah.

Everyone, this is Scarlet Rose.

That's such a beautiful name.
How did you choose it?

I named her after something
very dear to me.

My lipstick.
Oh, for God's sake.

Her name's perfect.

It's our little Scarlet Rose.

SNIFFLES AND WHIMPERS

You've all been wonderful.

OK, guys, come on. OK.

Come on.

See you later.

Mr Evergreen, a productive meeting,
I trust?

Oh, my God, Mother!
Who was that harlot, Laurence?

Mother, I-I-I can explain.
She looked like that Hepburn woman.

SNIFFING
Ooh, I can smell her on you.

Cheap perfume and Victory Vs.

Mummy's gonna take care
of everything.

You are the most precious thing
to me.

You get everything done
you needed to?

Yeah. I'll tell you about it later.

There's a car for you. Oh, thanks.

Good luck, eh? Thank you.

CHARLIE: Bye.
JULIET: Bye.

LAUGHS

It makes perfect sense when you see
the three of you together.

I'll wait outside.

Wanna go home?

BABY GURGLING

See ya. Yeah.

Darren, you'll find someone amazing.

Wow! I cannot believe
you just had a baby.

You look incredible. I know.

BOTH LAUGH

Use it wisely.

Thank you.

Have a great life.

You deserve it. Thank you.

Look after that little girl, eh?
I will.

I'll never forget
what you taught me.

Tits...and teeth...

Will get you a long way.
LAUGHING

You gave me the happy ending
I never thought I could have.

You know where we are
if you ever need us.

EXHALES SHARPLY

I left you
a little thank you in my locker.

So where are we going?

New York.
I've got a lovely little place.

Charlie. Mm-hm?

I don't do "little".

CHARLIE: Darling, prices are high
in New York.

ANNA: That's OK, I'll treat you.

You know, now that I'm a mother,
I think I need new shoes.

CHARLIE: Do you, now?

Well, the shops are in
the totally opposite direction.

ANNA: Charlie, relationships
are about give and take.

I just gave you a child,
now take me to Bond Street.

ENGINE STARTS

SAM: 'For some of us,
there is a happy ending...'

SIGHS
That was so romantic.

One day I would like
to ride off into the sunset

with the woman of my dreams.

'..the rest of us carry on,
hoping one day it will be our turn

'to find the buried treasure
or meet the love of our lives.

'Until then, I guess
we'll all just get on with it...

'..and look after our friends
along the way.'

GINO: We've got
the big poker game here today.

Gamblers are my kind of people.
We're not afraid to put our balls on the line.

Damien Rushby's my father.

But he's one of the biggest
hoteliers in Europe.

I'll take Babylon off your hands.
Babylon is not for sale.

You're the famous author.
I'm Bobby Mack.

Maybe we could swap places
for the day. Cheers.

I believe you've been expecting me.
I'm Arianna Adams.

Ooh, she's here! She's here!

Please welcome Mr Bobby Mack.
APPLAUSE

Do you mind if I kiss you?

All this...plus Babylon.

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