Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,505 --> 00:00:16,084
[Ulysses Voiceover] I've always
had a simultaneous fear of,
2
00:00:16,085 --> 00:00:18,262
and attraction toward, the unknown.
3
00:00:19,472 --> 00:00:21,934
And in these fucking
dark and scary times,
4
00:00:21,935 --> 00:00:25,794
it's easy to adopt a "What
difference does it make?" attitude.
5
00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:29,510
So I often find myself
in these situations
6
00:00:29,511 --> 00:00:33,327
where my heart's pounding so
fast I can barely breathe.
7
00:00:34,289 --> 00:00:38,667
And I can't tell if it's
excitement or terror or both.
8
00:00:38,668 --> 00:00:40,271
- No!
- It's not like I'm brave
9
00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:42,820
or anything, it's more
10
00:00:43,772 --> 00:00:45,523
reckless stupidity,
11
00:00:46,723 --> 00:00:48,250
an adrenaline fix,
12
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,715
throwing myself into the
void to see what happens.
13
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,454
No!
14
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,689
Help me!
15
00:01:03,645 --> 00:01:05,734
[man groans]
16
00:01:07,127 --> 00:01:09,652
[screams]
17
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:10,977
[Ulysses grunting]
18
00:01:10,978 --> 00:01:14,023
Harder! Harder!
19
00:01:14,024 --> 00:01:15,071
- [door thuds]
- Dave?
20
00:01:15,072 --> 00:01:16,112
Oh, shit!
21
00:01:16,113 --> 00:01:17,303
My husband's home!
22
00:01:17,304 --> 00:01:18,516
Oh, shit.
23
00:01:18,517 --> 00:01:20,749
[stammers] What should I do?
24
00:01:23,272 --> 00:01:24,752
DAVE'S HUSBAND: Dave, where are you?!
25
00:01:24,753 --> 00:01:26,188
DAVE: In here, babe.
26
00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:28,718
- [Ulysses yelps]
- [loud thud]
27
00:01:41,179 --> 00:01:43,440
[Ulysses Voiceover] So yeah,
I realized that one day
28
00:01:43,441 --> 00:01:45,325
these crazy adventures
will probably get me
29
00:01:45,326 --> 00:01:48,085
into some gigantic trouble
I can't get out of.
30
00:01:48,086 --> 00:01:50,440
_
31
00:01:50,441 --> 00:01:52,409
But it's almost like
I can't help myself.
32
00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:54,522
["Star Roving" by Slowdive]
33
00:01:56,508 --> 00:01:59,511
I do shit sometimes and I
really don't know why.
34
00:02:02,704 --> 00:02:04,344
To avoid boredom, I guess.
35
00:02:06,055 --> 00:02:07,428
To feel alive.
36
00:02:09,102 --> 00:02:11,321
Just for the fucking fuck of it.
37
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:17,870
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:02:25,934 --> 00:02:30,044
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
39
00:02:30,045 --> 00:02:36,045
♪ Can't hold down tonight ♪
40
00:02:52,101 --> 00:02:55,124
[panting]
41
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:56,326
Ah.
42
00:02:58,877 --> 00:03:00,077
Sorry, dude.
43
00:03:00,966 --> 00:03:02,166
Whatever.
44
00:03:03,186 --> 00:03:04,644
Hey, Severine.
45
00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:08,124
I thought you were sleeping out tonight.
46
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:10,225
Yeah, uh, I'm not.
47
00:03:12,848 --> 00:03:16,055
Anyhoo, please, continue.
48
00:03:16,852 --> 00:03:18,261
Goodnight, Ulysses.
49
00:03:18,262 --> 00:03:19,678
Goodnight.
50
00:03:19,679 --> 00:03:21,203
Night, dude.
51
00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:26,300
ULYSSES: So, Ford and I have a
sort of strange relationship.
52
00:03:27,393 --> 00:03:30,562
We've been roommates since college
53
00:03:30,563 --> 00:03:33,889
and we kind of drunk messed
around once freshman year.
54
00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:36,631
I love him unconditionally
55
00:03:36,632 --> 00:03:40,330
and if he had even one
sexually ambiguous molecule
56
00:03:40,331 --> 00:03:42,254
in his body, we'd probably be married,
57
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:46,118
but Ford's that truly rare Kinsey zero
58
00:03:46,119 --> 00:03:48,991
in contrast to my ever oscillating four,
59
00:03:48,992 --> 00:03:51,210
which means I'm not so totally queer
60
00:03:51,211 --> 00:03:54,663
that I haven't rubbed out a few
fantasizing about Severine.
61
00:03:54,664 --> 00:03:58,362
Everything in my life right
now is a question mark,
62
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,622
which pretty much explains
what this thing is about.
63
00:04:01,623 --> 00:04:03,236
It's definitely not a vlog.
64
00:04:03,237 --> 00:04:07,009
It's more of a place to
download the random shit
65
00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:10,252
that's in my head to keep it
from like [lips pop] exploding.
66
00:04:10,253 --> 00:04:14,642
Back in school, I thought
I wanted to be an actor,
67
00:04:14,643 --> 00:04:17,410
but once I got to LA,
I quickly discovered
68
00:04:17,411 --> 00:04:19,761
that's probably the lamest,
most soul-crushing thing
69
00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:21,167
I could do with my life.
70
00:04:21,168 --> 00:04:23,939
And Ford is that sad LA cliché,
71
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:25,512
an aspiring screenwriter.
72
00:04:25,513 --> 00:04:29,074
But movies are even more
irrelevant now than books.
73
00:04:29,075 --> 00:04:32,830
It's all stupid superheroes
and YA bullshit.
74
00:04:32,831 --> 00:04:35,202
And thanks to Instagram,
art and photography,
75
00:04:35,203 --> 00:04:37,474
all of that's pretty
much obsolete now too,
76
00:04:37,475 --> 00:04:39,159
so lacking a better outlet,
77
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:43,982
here I am talking to myself in the dark.
78
00:04:51,593 --> 00:04:53,361
But also,
79
00:04:53,362 --> 00:04:56,540
there's something weird going on
80
00:04:56,541 --> 00:05:01,036
that I feel I need to document.
81
00:05:04,477 --> 00:05:06,152
I've been having this nightmare,
82
00:05:06,153 --> 00:05:08,416
the same one over and over,
83
00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:10,772
two or three times a
week for the past month.
84
00:05:10,773 --> 00:05:11,819
MAN: No!
85
00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:14,060
[Ulysses Voiceover] And it's
so vivid and freakishly real
86
00:05:14,084 --> 00:05:17,732
that when I wake up, it's still
there hovering over me like
87
00:05:17,733 --> 00:05:19,690
it's not just a dream,
88
00:05:19,691 --> 00:05:22,911
like it's trying to tell me something.
89
00:05:22,912 --> 00:05:26,301
Maybe smoke a smidge
less pot before bedtime?
90
00:05:26,302 --> 00:05:27,609
Carly, I'm being serious.
91
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:29,523
Don't you ever get bizarre premonitions?
92
00:05:30,256 --> 00:05:33,922
- No.
- Well, I do and I'm a double Scorpio.
93
00:05:33,923 --> 00:05:35,737
It's the most psychic of all the signs.
94
00:05:35,738 --> 00:05:39,057
And I've had premonitions
before, but this is different.
95
00:05:39,058 --> 00:05:42,312
It's like we're teetering on the
brink of total annihilation.
96
00:05:42,313 --> 00:05:45,664
CARLY: Okay, well, that's
every fucking day now
97
00:05:45,665 --> 00:05:48,366
in this tragic shit show
era we're living in.
98
00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:51,605
But anyway, are you still
cyber-stalking that guy?
99
00:05:51,606 --> 00:05:53,234
- Gabriel.
- Mm.
100
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,570
Yeah. We were supposed to
hang out last night, but...
101
00:05:56,571 --> 00:05:59,753
Oh, let me guess, he flaked.
102
00:06:00,689 --> 00:06:05,715
Hey, look, this guy's a
gnarly 300-pound catfish.
103
00:06:05,716 --> 00:06:07,676
That's why I've been pushing
to meet in real life.
104
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:08,798
Look, check it out.
105
00:06:08,799 --> 00:06:11,713
- Oh. He is pretty.
- Right?
106
00:06:11,714 --> 00:06:15,021
I know it sounds hokey, but I just get
this vibe that we're destined to be.
107
00:06:15,022 --> 00:06:17,053
Okay, double Scorpio.
108
00:06:17,054 --> 00:06:20,142
Honestly, just looking at him
makes me dizzy and hard.
109
00:06:20,143 --> 00:06:21,839
You know, when I first met Jethro,
110
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,407
seeing him sneeze would make me cum,
111
00:06:24,408 --> 00:06:27,279
but now, like uh, last night,
in the middle of fucking,
112
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:33,429
Jethro leans in and for some
ungodly reason, whispers...
113
00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:35,287
Mm, teach me, baby, teach me.
114
00:06:35,288 --> 00:06:36,642
- What?
- [Jethro moans]
115
00:06:36,643 --> 00:06:37,662
Teach me!
116
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:39,639
Is that something you
got from a bad porno?
117
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:40,989
Oh, come on, baby!
118
00:06:40,990 --> 00:06:42,907
Yeah, teach me how to drive you wild!
119
00:06:42,908 --> 00:06:44,268
Yes, baby!
120
00:06:44,269 --> 00:06:45,822
Make me a student!
121
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:47,734
I'm a vessel for your pleasure!
122
00:06:47,735 --> 00:06:49,016
- [groans]
- Yeah!
123
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,694
Ah, teach me, baby!
124
00:06:50,695 --> 00:06:51,651
- Come on, yeah!
- Can you just slow down
125
00:06:51,652 --> 00:06:52,904
a little bit, please?!
126
00:06:52,905 --> 00:06:54,654
Teach me, baby! Teach me!
127
00:06:54,655 --> 00:06:56,787
- Oh, shit.
- And it gets worse.
128
00:06:56,788 --> 00:07:00,325
He wants me to go to his fucking
meditation class tonight.
129
00:07:00,326 --> 00:07:02,069
But meditating gives you anxiety.
130
00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:03,097
Yeah, I know.
131
00:07:03,098 --> 00:07:06,402
It's so easy for him. His brain,
his natural resting state,
132
00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:09,365
is just a blank void of nothingness.
133
00:07:09,366 --> 00:07:11,715
- [phone buzzes]
- [Carly sighs]
134
00:07:11,716 --> 00:07:13,499
Is it the catfish?
135
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,327
Oh, shit, really? What'd he say?
136
00:07:15,328 --> 00:07:17,199
That he wants to meet tonight.
137
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,811
Okay, well, my advice, set the bar low.
138
00:07:20,812 --> 00:07:23,695
Very low.
139
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:29,820
♪ Sanctify the love
that you crave, crave ♪
140
00:07:29,821 --> 00:07:34,738
♪ Oh, and I won't, and I won't,
and I won't be ashamed ♪
141
00:07:34,739 --> 00:07:37,436
♪ Sanctify my sins when I pray ♪
142
00:07:37,437 --> 00:07:40,892
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
143
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:45,685
- ♪ When I pray ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
144
00:07:46,789 --> 00:07:49,433
♪ You'll find redemption ♪
145
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:50,635
Hey.
146
00:07:51,467 --> 00:07:52,866
How's the script coming?
147
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:55,628
I've seen you here before.
148
00:07:55,629 --> 00:07:56,830
Oh.
149
00:07:57,784 --> 00:07:59,415
It's going great.
150
00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:01,748
- You a writer too?
- No.
151
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:03,250
Actually, I'm a producer.
152
00:08:03,251 --> 00:08:06,747
Oh, no shit. Cool.
153
00:08:07,199 --> 00:08:09,526
You should send me one of your scripts.
154
00:08:11,494 --> 00:08:13,733
- For real?
- Yes.
155
00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:17,015
You look like a ambitious,
hardworking young man.
156
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,738
Email me.
157
00:08:20,445 --> 00:08:22,133
Oh, wow.
158
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:25,253
Okay, Mr. Powers.
159
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,252
Please. Barnabas.
160
00:08:31,234 --> 00:08:34,098
Ford. Ford Halstead.
161
00:08:34,099 --> 00:08:36,159
Great to meet you, Ford.
162
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,118
Well, I'll let you get back to work.
163
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,896
Cool! I'll email you.
164
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,091
Looking forward to it.
165
00:08:48,043 --> 00:08:50,590
_
166
00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:53,977
_
167
00:08:54,649 --> 00:08:57,422
_
168
00:08:59,303 --> 00:09:00,632
_
169
00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:03,288
MAN: They keep fucking me.
170
00:09:04,812 --> 00:09:06,012
I tell them no,
171
00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:08,943
but they keep fucking me.
172
00:09:08,944 --> 00:09:11,057
They keep fucking me!
173
00:09:11,058 --> 00:09:12,165
Fucking me!
174
00:09:12,966 --> 00:09:14,598
And they won't stop.
175
00:09:18,639 --> 00:09:22,251
Please, make them stop.
176
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,417
Make them stop.
177
00:09:45,935 --> 00:09:47,697
Severine Bordeaux.
178
00:09:47,698 --> 00:09:48,942
[scanner beeps]
179
00:10:09,513 --> 00:10:11,036
Hello, Severine.
180
00:10:12,603 --> 00:10:14,647
Lars. Klaus.
181
00:10:15,622 --> 00:10:17,558
Looks like I didn't miss anything.
182
00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,338
Yes, the man is running late as usual.
183
00:10:20,339 --> 00:10:23,559
I think they keep us waiting on
purpose, to build anticipation.
184
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,415
And to make our work seem even
more highly classified than it is.
185
00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:29,134
Actually, I heard this new assignment
186
00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:31,203
is a genuine priority level one.
187
00:10:31,982 --> 00:10:33,395
Really?
188
00:10:33,396 --> 00:10:34,596
Who told you this?
189
00:10:35,507 --> 00:10:36,616
[Severine sighs]
190
00:10:36,617 --> 00:10:38,740
If I revealed my sources,
191
00:10:38,741 --> 00:10:40,518
I'd have to kill you.
192
00:10:42,232 --> 00:10:44,005
[groans]
193
00:10:47,171 --> 00:10:48,634
I don't know, Uly.
194
00:10:48,635 --> 00:10:51,326
Sometimes a dream is just a dream.
195
00:10:51,327 --> 00:10:54,133
Yeah, but then, but then sometimes,
196
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:56,562
sometimes it's more.
197
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,551
Dude, do you remember that time
198
00:10:58,552 --> 00:11:00,683
you were so convinced an
earthquake was coming?
199
00:11:00,684 --> 00:11:02,284
You went out, you bought a bunch of soup
200
00:11:02,308 --> 00:11:04,295
and water and batteries?
201
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:05,508
[laughs]
202
00:11:05,509 --> 00:11:07,098
This is different than that.
203
00:11:07,757 --> 00:11:09,515
Is it?
204
00:11:09,516 --> 00:11:12,564
Anyway, huh, isn't it awesome
what happened today?
205
00:11:12,565 --> 00:11:13,692
What?
206
00:11:13,693 --> 00:11:16,246
That producer gave me his business card.
207
00:11:16,766 --> 00:11:17,948
Oh, right.
208
00:11:17,949 --> 00:11:19,835
So is he... is he for real?
209
00:11:19,836 --> 00:11:21,095
What do you mean?
210
00:11:21,096 --> 00:11:23,009
As in does he have credits?
211
00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:24,515
That, that aren't porn.
212
00:11:24,516 --> 00:11:26,883
Yeah. I already checked.
213
00:11:26,884 --> 00:11:29,494
Just be careful, okay? 'Cause he
could be a serial killer or...
214
00:11:29,495 --> 00:11:31,017
Okay, paranoid.
215
00:11:31,018 --> 00:11:35,152
♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪
216
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:38,590
Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be
a, a little bit behind
217
00:11:38,591 --> 00:11:40,403
on, on the rent again, this month.
218
00:11:40,404 --> 00:11:42,986
Ah, no big. I got it.
219
00:11:42,987 --> 00:11:45,498
I know, I just, I don't wanna be a scab.
220
00:11:45,499 --> 00:11:47,091
Hey, I said don't worry about it.
221
00:11:47,092 --> 00:11:49,558
It was my idea to move to
Cali in the first place.
222
00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:51,821
Plus, I'm the one with the
rich parents, so whatevs.
223
00:11:51,822 --> 00:11:53,649
[Ford chuckles]
224
00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:56,260
Seriously, bro, man, I'm just so glad
225
00:11:56,261 --> 00:11:57,957
we're out here together.
226
00:11:57,958 --> 00:12:01,186
You and me, man, living the dream!
227
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:03,801
[laughs]
228
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,557
[sighs]
229
00:12:07,431 --> 00:12:08,707
You know what I mean?
230
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:11,386
[ethereal music]
231
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,981
Know what?
232
00:12:21,982 --> 00:12:23,970
Why don't we cut the bullshit
233
00:12:24,594 --> 00:12:27,181
and go over into those
bushes over there and fuck?
234
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:30,686
[snapping]
235
00:12:30,687 --> 00:12:32,063
- You all right?
- Yeah.
236
00:12:32,755 --> 00:12:33,993
Yup.
237
00:12:33,994 --> 00:12:35,473
You stoned or something?
238
00:12:35,474 --> 00:12:37,206
[chuckles]
239
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:40,153
- You ready to head back down?
- Yeah, yeah.
240
00:12:40,154 --> 00:12:41,137
- All right.
- Mm-hm.
241
00:12:41,138 --> 00:12:42,377
I'll race you to the bottom.
242
00:12:42,378 --> 00:12:43,451
Mm-hm.
243
00:12:44,371 --> 00:12:45,439
Mm-hm.
244
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:48,466
["Gosh" by Jamie xx]
245
00:12:52,992 --> 00:12:55,081
You home already? I thought
you had a coffee date.
246
00:12:56,866 --> 00:12:58,322
[Amber sighs]
247
00:12:58,323 --> 00:13:01,979
I did. I barely sat down
and the guy asked me if
248
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:03,435
I would rim him.
249
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,636
- Oh.
- Hmm.
250
00:13:07,637 --> 00:13:09,603
What are you doing?
251
00:13:09,604 --> 00:13:12,752
Just memorizing my lines
for acting class tomorrow.
252
00:13:13,779 --> 00:13:17,254
I feel like guys on Tinder
are so used to getting sex
253
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:18,975
that they don't even
make an effort anymore.
254
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,737
Like, this one guy, he
sent me the martini emoji,
255
00:13:21,738 --> 00:13:25,044
then the eggplant, then just
expected me to fuck him.
256
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:26,444
Maybe he was foreign?
257
00:13:26,944 --> 00:13:30,441
I've just encountered a
lot of assholes on there.
258
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:32,060
It's a numbers game.
259
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,053
I mean, you have a lot of asshole dick,
260
00:13:34,054 --> 00:13:37,239
but you also have dick
of every other kind too.
261
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,956
Yeah, I know, which is like
dicks flying at me 24/7.
262
00:13:40,957 --> 00:13:42,490
Exactly.
263
00:13:43,369 --> 00:13:45,456
I don't know, I might delete it.
264
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:49,199
Maybe it's true, you can't
find romance through a screen.
265
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,245
That is something that old people say
266
00:13:51,246 --> 00:13:53,769
because they resent the fact
that we don't have to go
267
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:56,554
and troll gross bars
for sex like they did.
268
00:13:56,555 --> 00:13:58,252
Let me see your profile.
269
00:13:58,253 --> 00:13:59,885
Come here.
270
00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:10,200
You look like you're
hosting a reality show
271
00:14:10,201 --> 00:14:14,187
called Extreme Brunch, or something.
272
00:14:15,074 --> 00:14:19,925
Do you have like, any photos
of you wearing less clothing?
273
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:24,100
Like, like showing less personality?
274
00:14:26,107 --> 00:14:29,892
Pretty cool that producer
coming up to me today, huh?
275
00:14:29,893 --> 00:14:31,705
Yeah, incredible.
276
00:14:31,706 --> 00:14:34,202
Yeah, it's like I've only
been out here six months
277
00:14:34,203 --> 00:14:36,899
and things are already
starting to happen for me.
278
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,683
[sighs] So, Sev.
279
00:14:38,684 --> 00:14:39,979
Mm-hmm?
280
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,557
We've been seeing each other a while now
281
00:14:42,558 --> 00:14:47,217
and I was wondering if...
282
00:14:48,078 --> 00:14:50,275
it was cool that I called
you my girlfriend.
283
00:14:50,892 --> 00:14:52,654
You can call me whatever you want.
284
00:14:52,655 --> 00:14:54,743
I'm not precious about the terminology.
285
00:14:54,744 --> 00:14:57,530
Okay, so uh, we're like,
286
00:14:58,573 --> 00:15:00,030
exclusive, then?
287
00:15:00,031 --> 00:15:02,232
Ford, we've discussed this.
288
00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:03,752
You know I believe that monogamy
289
00:15:03,753 --> 00:15:05,449
is a form of social control,
290
00:15:05,450 --> 00:15:07,397
which is contrary to our nature.
291
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:09,316
What?
292
00:15:09,317 --> 00:15:11,934
For centuries, humans
migrated in egalitarian
293
00:15:11,935 --> 00:15:14,948
hunter-gatherer groups
and shared everything,
294
00:15:14,949 --> 00:15:18,157
food, childcare, sexual partners.
295
00:15:18,158 --> 00:15:19,942
They were very promiscuous
296
00:15:19,943 --> 00:15:22,161
and it strengthened their relationships,
297
00:15:22,162 --> 00:15:23,902
but then agriculture came along
298
00:15:23,903 --> 00:15:25,687
and people became obsessed
299
00:15:25,688 --> 00:15:28,187
with ownership and private property.
300
00:15:28,974 --> 00:15:30,370
Oh, when was that?
301
00:15:30,970 --> 00:15:33,395
About 10,000 years ago.
302
00:15:33,870 --> 00:15:35,241
Oh.
303
00:15:36,243 --> 00:15:37,505
Is this uh...
304
00:15:37,995 --> 00:15:40,975
Is this about me not being
smart enough for you?
305
00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:44,270
I know you're a rocket scientist and...
306
00:15:44,271 --> 00:15:46,142
Astrobiological theorist.
307
00:15:46,143 --> 00:15:47,883
And no, Ford,
308
00:15:47,884 --> 00:15:50,538
I actually think you're extraordinary.
309
00:15:50,539 --> 00:15:54,565
Plus, you have the world's
most magnificent cock.
310
00:15:56,741 --> 00:15:57,780
Thanks.
311
00:15:57,781 --> 00:16:00,156
It's so magnificent, in fact,
312
00:16:00,157 --> 00:16:02,609
I'd feel guilty keeping
it all to myself.
313
00:16:02,610 --> 00:16:04,900
Modern relationships don't last
314
00:16:04,901 --> 00:16:07,859
because we expect too
much of our partners.
315
00:16:07,860 --> 00:16:10,338
They need to fulfill us emotionally,
316
00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:12,386
satisfy us sexually.
317
00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:15,254
That's a lot to ask of one person.
318
00:16:15,255 --> 00:16:20,112
Besides, future holds so
much chaos and uncertainty.
319
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:23,264
We must relish our
freedom while it lasts.
320
00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:27,708
- Uh, what?
- Nothing.
321
00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:34,228
If you're saying what I
think it is you're saying,
322
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:38,629
if you, you know, um,
if you want to give
323
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:42,139
the open relationship thing a try,
324
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:45,210
I'm down.
325
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:48,992
Really?
326
00:16:48,993 --> 00:16:51,034
You're not just saying
that to make me happy?
327
00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:54,986
You know I have difficulties
reading social cues.
328
00:16:57,105 --> 00:16:58,305
I mean it.
329
00:17:02,707 --> 00:17:05,206
Okay, now pretend like you're laughing
330
00:17:05,207 --> 00:17:07,745
at a cute guy over there being funny.
331
00:17:07,746 --> 00:17:10,139
But why am I wearing a
bikini in the living room?
332
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:12,184
No one is thinking about that, Amber.
333
00:17:12,185 --> 00:17:15,227
This is literally just about
assessing your genetics.
334
00:17:17,387 --> 00:17:18,800
- [laughs]
- Oh, my God, okay,
335
00:17:18,801 --> 00:17:20,367
he's not, he's not like, that funny.
336
00:17:20,368 --> 00:17:23,100
- He's amusing.
- Okay.
337
00:17:24,046 --> 00:17:25,110
[chuckles]
338
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:27,712
He's mildly amusing.
339
00:17:29,573 --> 00:17:30,773
- [camera snaps]
- Perfect.
340
00:17:34,926 --> 00:17:36,557
I look mean.
341
00:17:36,558 --> 00:17:38,384
No, you look confused.
342
00:17:38,385 --> 00:17:39,734
You look hot and confused.
343
00:17:39,735 --> 00:17:41,605
That's the ideal combination.
344
00:17:41,606 --> 00:17:42,737
- What?
- [phone rings]
345
00:17:42,738 --> 00:17:46,183
Oh, sorry. Hey.
346
00:17:46,184 --> 00:17:48,133
Oh, my God, are you watching it?
347
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:50,413
- Watching what?
- Murderous Minds.
348
00:17:50,414 --> 00:17:52,050
I told you, my episode's on tonight.
349
00:17:52,051 --> 00:17:53,443
Oh, uh, shit!
350
00:17:53,444 --> 00:17:54,749
Oh, my God, that's right, babe!
351
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:56,248
I totally forgot!
352
00:17:56,249 --> 00:17:58,013
That's so exciting!
353
00:17:58,014 --> 00:18:00,102
Fuck, Carly!
354
00:18:00,103 --> 00:18:01,538
Hope you didn't miss me.
355
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,739
I've gotta set the DVR.
356
00:18:04,913 --> 00:18:06,804
- What's happening now?
- What do you mean?
357
00:18:06,805 --> 00:18:09,389
JETHRO: On the show, Jesus!
358
00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:12,462
Um, it, it looks like two cops
359
00:18:12,463 --> 00:18:15,030
are investigating like, a crime scene.
360
00:18:15,031 --> 00:18:17,798
Okay, shit, you're just
in time. It's my scene.
361
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,428
What's happening now?
362
00:18:22,429 --> 00:18:24,174
They just zipped some
guy into a body bag.
363
00:18:24,175 --> 00:18:25,399
Yes!
364
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,771
[grunts]
365
00:18:28,589 --> 00:18:30,188
Was that you?
366
00:18:30,189 --> 00:18:32,305
Uh yeah, what, couldn't you tell?
367
00:18:32,306 --> 00:18:35,657
No, you were amazing.
368
00:18:35,658 --> 00:18:37,695
Ah, I'm sure.
369
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,587
Was I?
370
00:18:39,588 --> 00:18:40,795
Mm-hm.
371
00:18:40,796 --> 00:18:43,322
Yeah, you, you were great, Jethro.
372
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,696
Oh, hey, Amber's there! Amber!
373
00:18:45,697 --> 00:18:49,132
- She uh, she see me too?
- Yup, she did.
374
00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:54,281
And uh, she thought you
were uh, very believable.
375
00:18:54,282 --> 00:18:57,825
14 fucking million
people watch that show.
376
00:18:57,826 --> 00:18:59,727
It's like I'm always telling you, Carly,
377
00:18:59,728 --> 00:19:01,350
it's about connecting the dots
378
00:19:01,351 --> 00:19:04,224
and maintaining a positive attitude.
379
00:19:04,924 --> 00:19:06,684
Which is why I really
wish you'd come with me
380
00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:07,880
to meditation class tonight.
381
00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:09,795
Yeah, I know, babe, but I told you,
382
00:19:09,796 --> 00:19:12,058
I need to work on my scene
for class tomorrow.
383
00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:15,932
Yeah, well, Car, the road to
failure is paved with excuses.
384
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:17,716
[phone beeping]
385
00:19:17,717 --> 00:19:19,674
Hey, babe, can we continue this later?
386
00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:22,416
Uly's on the other line,
probably having a crisis.
387
00:19:22,417 --> 00:19:23,931
I'm almost to work anyway.
388
00:19:23,932 --> 00:19:25,846
Just wanted to share my
moment of glory with ya.
389
00:19:25,847 --> 00:19:27,175
You were awesome, babe.
390
00:19:27,176 --> 00:19:30,207
Thanks, I'll swing by after
work for another lesson.
391
00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:32,356
Great. Okay, see ya.
392
00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:36,517
- Hey.
- Gabriel is 43 fucking minutes late.
393
00:19:36,518 --> 00:19:39,342
Like I said, low bar.
394
00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:41,591
What should I do now? Should I leave?
395
00:19:41,592 --> 00:19:45,198
[chuckles] Are you kidding? You lost
all your dignity like, 28 minutes ago.
396
00:19:45,199 --> 00:19:47,531
I know. Am I tragic?
397
00:19:47,532 --> 00:19:48,921
Don't, don't answer that.
398
00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:50,400
I was really hoping to, you know,
399
00:19:50,401 --> 00:19:52,390
finally solve the mystery of, oh, shit.
400
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:54,284
- CARLY: What? Is he there?
- Yeah.
401
00:19:54,285 --> 00:19:56,547
- I'll call you back.
- Okay, bye!
402
00:19:58,208 --> 00:20:02,111
Ulysses. Oh, man, I am so sorry.
403
00:20:02,112 --> 00:20:03,912
You must think that I'm
the hugest flake ever,
404
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,578
but class got out late, Waze
sent me to the wrong address,
405
00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:08,899
- and, and my phone died...
- It's, it's okay, it's okay...
406
00:20:08,923 --> 00:20:10,351
Don't worry about it.
407
00:20:10,352 --> 00:20:12,597
Seriously though, I'm big
on first impressions
408
00:20:12,598 --> 00:20:15,308
and I feel so fucking bad.
409
00:20:16,141 --> 00:20:17,792
Well, you're here now, right?
410
00:20:18,474 --> 00:20:19,756
That's, that's all that matters.
411
00:20:19,757 --> 00:20:21,040
Yeah.
412
00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,544
[upbeat music]
413
00:20:26,939 --> 00:20:30,725
["Diamond Veins" by French 79]
414
00:20:49,266 --> 00:20:54,734
♪ Blood felt, joy of life ♪
415
00:20:56,273 --> 00:20:57,291
Whoa.
416
00:20:57,292 --> 00:20:59,231
Holy crap, baby.
417
00:20:59,232 --> 00:21:00,471
[Carly chuckles]
418
00:21:00,472 --> 00:21:02,865
Hey, Smokey. You miss me?
419
00:21:02,866 --> 00:21:04,076
Sure did.
420
00:21:04,077 --> 00:21:06,564
I want to drink you up
like a piña colada.
421
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:11,438
Good, because I've been
a really bad girl.
422
00:21:11,439 --> 00:21:13,658
- [loud slap]
- [gasps] Ooh!
423
00:21:13,659 --> 00:21:15,747
- [loud slap]
- Ah!
424
00:21:15,748 --> 00:21:17,183
- [loud slap]
- [moans]
425
00:21:17,184 --> 00:21:19,920
NERD: I really want to get
to know you, the real you.
426
00:21:19,921 --> 00:21:22,203
Are you sure you just
don't want me to like,
427
00:21:22,204 --> 00:21:23,612
finger myself or something?
428
00:21:23,613 --> 00:21:25,303
Could we just talk first?
429
00:21:26,019 --> 00:21:28,414
Like, what do you like most
about being a cam girl?
430
00:21:29,327 --> 00:21:34,787
Well, I uh, I have always wanted
a job I could do lying down.
431
00:21:34,788 --> 00:21:35,989
Hm.
432
00:21:36,966 --> 00:21:38,311
Show me!
433
00:21:38,312 --> 00:21:40,850
Show me, you deviant little whore.
434
00:21:40,851 --> 00:21:42,992
You're so pitiful and weak!
435
00:21:42,993 --> 00:21:45,184
Just looking at you makes me sick.
436
00:21:45,185 --> 00:21:47,039
Get on your knees!
437
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:51,261
Damn. I so wish I hadn't scheduled
band practice for tonight.
438
00:21:51,262 --> 00:21:53,741
Ah, it, it's cool.
439
00:21:53,742 --> 00:21:55,395
It's just that a couple of weeks ago,
440
00:21:55,396 --> 00:21:57,963
I, I declared this embargo on hookups.
441
00:21:57,964 --> 00:21:59,922
I mean, you know they're fun, obviously,
442
00:21:59,923 --> 00:22:05,340
but I always just feel, well,
gross and pagan after.
443
00:22:05,341 --> 00:22:07,691
Yeah, no, uh, I know what you mean.
444
00:22:08,621 --> 00:22:10,715
So I, I made sure to make plans
445
00:22:10,716 --> 00:22:13,805
so that no matter how hot you were,
446
00:22:13,806 --> 00:22:17,630
I, you know, would have
to restrain myself.
447
00:22:19,443 --> 00:22:21,798
No, it's, it's okay, I totally get it.
448
00:22:24,361 --> 00:22:26,180
We can hang out soon
again, though, right?
449
00:22:26,852 --> 00:22:28,026
Definitely.
450
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,822
- Oh, shit!
- What? What?
451
00:22:30,823 --> 00:22:33,868
I fucking forgot to charge my phone!
452
00:22:33,869 --> 00:22:38,022
I got so distracted, I can't
even text my band mates now.
453
00:22:38,549 --> 00:22:39,749
That sucks.
454
00:22:40,397 --> 00:22:44,633
I guess we'll jus... we'll
just have to hang out
455
00:22:47,079 --> 00:22:49,841
again soon...
456
00:22:49,842 --> 00:22:54,521
- [car horn honking]
- [men shouting]
457
00:22:57,350 --> 00:22:58,589
Come on.
458
00:22:58,590 --> 00:23:01,354
[gentle music]
459
00:23:06,881 --> 00:23:08,425
No, wait.
460
00:23:08,426 --> 00:23:09,774
- What?
- [sighs]
461
00:23:10,950 --> 00:23:12,583
I'm not blowing this, am I?
462
00:23:13,584 --> 00:23:14,855
What do you, what do you mean?
463
00:23:15,651 --> 00:23:17,738
Well, I'm gonna see you again, right?
464
00:23:17,739 --> 00:23:19,419
I mean, I'm not fucking
this up doing this?
465
00:23:19,443 --> 00:23:21,846
No, no, no, you're not fucking this up.
466
00:23:22,216 --> 00:23:25,631
Good, 'cause I seriously cannot
control myself right now.
467
00:23:28,519 --> 00:23:30,082
Handjobs only, though?
468
00:23:30,622 --> 00:23:31,822
What?
469
00:23:32,342 --> 00:23:33,865
For tonight, just handjobs?
470
00:23:34,902 --> 00:23:36,208
And save the rest for later?
471
00:23:36,869 --> 00:23:38,587
Yeah. Yeah.
472
00:23:38,974 --> 00:23:40,368
Okay, we need to hurry, though,
473
00:23:40,369 --> 00:23:42,821
'cause I literally only have
like, two minutes, okay?
474
00:23:46,399 --> 00:23:48,414
Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm?
475
00:23:48,415 --> 00:23:51,411
WORM: Mm-hm. Can you wiggle them?
476
00:23:51,412 --> 00:23:52,730
Like this, you mean?
477
00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:55,820
Yeah, keep wiggling. Keep wiggling.
478
00:23:55,821 --> 00:23:57,141
Worm, you know you need to ask me
479
00:23:57,165 --> 00:23:59,188
more respectfully than that.
480
00:23:59,189 --> 00:24:02,352
Please. Please wiggle your toes for me.
481
00:24:02,353 --> 00:24:03,611
CARLY: Much better.
482
00:24:04,171 --> 00:24:06,165
Hell yeah.
483
00:24:06,166 --> 00:24:07,484
Keep wiggling.
484
00:24:08,205 --> 00:24:10,142
More, more wiggle.
485
00:24:10,451 --> 00:24:11,923
Oh, God. [moans]
486
00:24:11,924 --> 00:24:13,470
[both moaning]
487
00:24:16,676 --> 00:24:17,920
- Oh!
- God!
488
00:24:17,921 --> 00:24:20,279
Oh, oh, oh fuck!
489
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,368
[groaning]
490
00:24:22,369 --> 00:24:24,631
- Oh!
- Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!
491
00:24:24,632 --> 00:24:27,199
[both groan]
492
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,964
[all groaning]
493
00:24:39,409 --> 00:24:41,846
[both panting]
494
00:24:42,244 --> 00:24:43,444
Fuck.
495
00:24:47,384 --> 00:24:49,306
MAGENTA: What can I
do for you, Mistress?
496
00:24:49,854 --> 00:24:51,115
I'm here to please you.
497
00:24:51,116 --> 00:24:52,575
I'll do anything you want.
498
00:24:54,511 --> 00:24:58,056
How about you do 30 naked pushups?
499
00:24:58,057 --> 00:24:59,971
Would that make Mistress happy?
500
00:24:59,972 --> 00:25:01,538
To be honest, no.
501
00:25:01,539 --> 00:25:03,627
I just... I don't really care.
502
00:25:03,628 --> 00:25:05,830
Well, what would make you truly happy?
503
00:25:05,831 --> 00:25:07,333
I'm here to serve you.
504
00:25:09,003 --> 00:25:10,203
Really?
505
00:25:12,311 --> 00:25:15,813
Do you want to run lines
with me for my acting class
506
00:25:15,814 --> 00:25:17,945
'cause I have to memorize
all these by tomorrow.
507
00:25:17,946 --> 00:25:20,252
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that one.
508
00:25:20,253 --> 00:25:22,036
But you said you would do anything.
509
00:25:22,037 --> 00:25:23,690
Well, I know, but...
510
00:25:23,691 --> 00:25:25,170
Well, okay, well, what if I like,
511
00:25:25,171 --> 00:25:26,389
take my top off while I do it?
512
00:25:26,390 --> 00:25:27,433
Okay, sure.
513
00:25:27,434 --> 00:25:29,305
Cool. Great.
514
00:25:29,306 --> 00:25:30,436
Okay.
515
00:25:30,437 --> 00:25:34,875
So, you're Anne,
516
00:25:34,876 --> 00:25:37,011
and I'm Mary, okay?
517
00:25:38,207 --> 00:25:39,407
Okay.
518
00:25:41,340 --> 00:25:45,451
Do you feel as awful as you look?
519
00:25:45,452 --> 00:25:48,672
Why would you come here if all
you wanted to do was torment me?
520
00:25:48,673 --> 00:25:50,152
Hey, you're good.
521
00:25:50,153 --> 00:25:51,718
Hey!
522
00:25:51,719 --> 00:25:52,980
- [snaps]
- Stay in character!
523
00:25:52,981 --> 00:25:54,025
Next line.
524
00:25:54,026 --> 00:25:55,226
ULYSSES: Wow.
525
00:25:59,053 --> 00:26:00,988
That was kind of intense.
526
00:26:00,989 --> 00:26:02,190
Yeah.
527
00:26:02,753 --> 00:26:04,929
[panting]
528
00:26:10,021 --> 00:26:12,086
Seriously, I mean what was that?
529
00:26:12,087 --> 00:26:13,927
Was it, was it just me
or did, did it feel like
530
00:26:13,951 --> 00:26:17,109
the universe collapsed in on
itself for a second there?
531
00:26:17,110 --> 00:26:18,311
No, I felt it too.
532
00:26:20,379 --> 00:26:21,859
I'm almost afraid to see what happens
533
00:26:21,883 --> 00:26:23,705
when we actually have sex.
534
00:26:24,905 --> 00:26:28,494
Look, I, I realize that we just met
535
00:26:28,495 --> 00:26:32,585
and I, I don't want to sound too
psycho stalkery or anything,
536
00:26:32,586 --> 00:26:38,168
but something strange seems
to be going on here.
537
00:26:39,746 --> 00:26:41,551
Yeah.
538
00:26:41,552 --> 00:26:44,458
Yeah, I mean, it sort of...
it sort of feels like
539
00:26:45,535 --> 00:26:46,735
- fate.
- Fate.
540
00:26:52,368 --> 00:26:54,288
But I got to go, my band
mates are gonna kill me.
541
00:26:54,312 --> 00:26:56,087
Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.
542
00:26:56,088 --> 00:26:58,718
So uh, so when do I get to see you next?
543
00:26:59,313 --> 00:27:01,236
Well, whenever. I mean, whenever you...
544
00:27:01,237 --> 00:27:04,205
- How about tomorrow?
- Tomorrow's great.
545
00:27:05,118 --> 00:27:06,318
Cool.
546
00:27:07,339 --> 00:27:08,539
Oh, fuck.
547
00:27:13,084 --> 00:27:15,324
Okay, shit.
548
00:27:15,325 --> 00:27:16,338
Now I really got to go.
549
00:27:16,339 --> 00:27:18,655
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
550
00:27:19,873 --> 00:27:22,485
[gentle music]
551
00:27:38,892 --> 00:27:41,317
Holy fucking shit!
552
00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:43,961
- [loud crash]
- [yelps]
553
00:27:43,962 --> 00:27:45,162
[loud thud]
554
00:27:49,163 --> 00:27:50,984
Ow!
555
00:28:19,803 --> 00:28:22,782
[ethereal music]
556
00:28:22,783 --> 00:28:24,329
Help me!
557
00:28:26,070 --> 00:28:27,637
Please!
558
00:28:34,774 --> 00:28:35,974
Please, help me!
559
00:28:38,367 --> 00:28:39,567
No!
560
00:28:40,824 --> 00:28:42,454
Oh, God!
561
00:28:42,455 --> 00:28:44,828
No! No!
562
00:28:47,869 --> 00:28:49,595
[groaning]
563
00:28:51,617 --> 00:28:53,576
[groaning]
564
00:28:56,935 --> 00:28:58,328
Oh, God, no!
565
00:28:59,712 --> 00:29:00,912
No!
566
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:08,920
No!
567
00:29:09,896 --> 00:29:11,096
Help me!
568
00:29:12,464 --> 00:29:13,746
Please!
569
00:29:13,747 --> 00:29:14,791
Help me!
570
00:29:14,792 --> 00:29:15,792
[hisses loudly]
571
00:29:15,793 --> 00:29:17,577
[screams]
572
00:29:17,578 --> 00:29:23,739
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
573
00:29:33,746 --> 00:29:37,640
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
574
00:29:37,641 --> 00:29:40,753
♪ Can't hold ♪
39729
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
