Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,209 --> 00:00:04,378
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:08,298
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:11,260
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,221
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:17,808
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:21,395
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,938
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,690
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:30,029
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,078
Peter, come on.
11
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,329
- What?
- We're starting.
12
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,039
Oh, is this, uh, a new one?
13
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,125
I thought it was a rerun.
Okay, here we go.
14
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:45,252
Line?
15
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:47,755
What are those guys
doing over there?
16
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,506
Hey, what are those guys
doing over there?
17
00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:51,550
I added a "hey."
18
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,011
Here we go, Patriots!
19
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,596
All right, now let's go
miss the urinal
20
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,514
with half a whiz
and get out of here.
21
00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:59,808
- Right on!
- Hey, why you guys leaving?
22
00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,894
We're taking a party bus
to the game.
23
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,479
A bus for partying?
24
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,022
Aw, that sounds awesome.
25
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,024
Like a pair
of Pete's Headphones.
26
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,485
♪ Oye como va ♪
27
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:10,694
♪ Mi ritmo ♪
28
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:13,197
♪ Buena pa' gozar ♪
29
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,157
♪ Mulata ♪
30
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,241
♪ Ba, ba-da ba-da-da ♪
31
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,993
♪ Ba-da-da-da-da-da ♪
32
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:22,039
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-
da-da-da... ♪
33
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,084
Mom, can we eat?
34
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:28,754
My stomach is starting to sound
like Arnold Schwarzenegger
35
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,590
gasping for air
at the end of Total Recall.
36
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,884
My eyes are
37
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:36,428
popping out
at the end of this movie!
38
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,514
Well, I'd like to wait
for your father.
39
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:41,642
L-Let me send him another
infuriating check-in text.
40
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,936
Hel-lo!
41
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,437
Yes?
42
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,314
Peter, where the hell
have you been?
43
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:50,067
On a magical journey to
Gillette Stadium and back.
44
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,735
You remember last night
when you called me
45
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,321
the lowest-class alcoholic
in the world?
46
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,866
Well, I found one rung lower.
I'm a party bus guy now.
47
00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:00,828
That's got to be way better
than when I drove a Fiat.
48
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,080
Hey! You cut me off!
49
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,249
What? Turn down your radio.
50
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,376
I can't. My stomach's
pressed up against the dial.
51
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,127
You want to go?
52
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:13,382
Get me 17 shoehorns and
some canola oil, and we'll go!
53
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,009
Get back here!
54
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,974
Okay, guys, now this is a bus
for a fireman's bachelor party.
55
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,476
So just follow my lead
and we'll fit right in.
56
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,353
All right!
57
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:28,438
9/11! Boston Strong!
58
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,567
Never forget!
How about this guy? You forget?
59
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:34,611
No way. You're too Boston Strong
to ever forget.
60
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,905
Let's roll!
61
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:40,534
Uh, I mean... civil servants
with hero complexes!
62
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,202
- Boom!
- All right!
63
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,413
Welcome, other firefighters.
64
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,166
Bring us the man of the hour.
65
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,251
Come on, Smitty!
66
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,380
To my last night
as a free man!
67
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,177
Hmm. Unfortunate timing.
68
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:01,054
Now, which one of these
scumbag firemen
69
00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:02,806
will go after his fiancée?
70
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,100
Already happened.
We're very happy.
71
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:12,900
♪ Firemen are not good friends ♪
72
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:17,363
♪ They'll bang your wife
when you are dead. ♪
73
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,745
Peter, this sucks!
74
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,748
What are we doing out here?
75
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:34,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
76
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,053
I'm beginning to think
those vodka cranberries
77
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,222
may have had alcohol in them.
78
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,647
Wow, partying
on the bus to prom.
79
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,690
Doesn't get much cooler
than this.
80
00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:55,609
None of these lame kids
is drinking.
81
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,987
Eh, I think I know
what's going on.
82
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,325
Hey, how many of you kids
are on the horny drugs?
83
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,036
I'm a cop.
84
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,246
But I'm not a narc.
85
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,000
Cool cop! Cool cop! Cool cop!
86
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,544
Did you dook yourself?
87
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:16,713
Just listen to the chant, Peter.
88
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:19,133
Listen to the chant.
89
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:23,930
♪ ♪
90
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,684
Close dancing, 12 o'clock.
91
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,561
Hey, arm's length,
dirty porno lovers!
92
00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,855
So, going stag tonight, Meg?
93
00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:36,650
Oh, no, I brought someone.
94
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,027
Hello. I'm in love with Meg.
95
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,655
Well, now I'm very sorry
I asked.
96
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,074
Wow, the end of high school.
97
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,785
Tonight, we pass around
Stifler's mom,
98
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,621
and in the morning, it's off
to die quick in Vietnam.
99
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,790
Peter, I think you're getting
your movies mixed up.
100
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,667
Attention, students.
101
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:56,920
It's time to announce
this year's prom king and queen.
102
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,422
Natalee Holloway!
103
00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,966
Now, now.
104
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,634
And the winners are...
105
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:06,389
Connie D'Amico
and "Kermit Legs" Kyle!
106
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,893
Ah, so close.
107
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,228
Hello, gorgeous.
108
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,480
- How old are you?
- 18.
109
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,149
All right, and I just
recorded you saying that.
110
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,609
And hi. I am Glenn Quagmire.
111
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,278
Courtney. Nice to meet you.
112
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,655
You don't look like
you're in high school.
113
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,575
I got held back.
You like getting held back?
114
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,994
Sometimes.
115
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,416
All right, youngins.
116
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,918
I dragged this piece of dirty
cardboard in from the alley
117
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:39,296
to show y'all how to get down.
118
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,257
Peter! Let's boogie!
119
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,804
♪ Ho! Ho! ♪
120
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,807
♪ ♪
121
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,458
Aah!
There was a staple in the box!
122
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,585
Where's the nurse's office?
123
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:21,046
Hey, you want
to get out of here?
124
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,298
Yeah. Let's go.
125
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,092
You take requests?
126
00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:27,302
What are you looking for?
127
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,221
♪ A-hunga, hunga,
hunga, hunga... ♪
128
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:34,226
♪ It's been one week
since you looked at me ♪
129
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,853
♪ Cocked your head to the side
and said I'm angry ♪
130
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:38,980
♪ Five days since
you laughed at me... ♪
131
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,776
-I know all the lyrics.
I just don't know them fast!
-♪ Three days... ♪
132
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:47,197
- And initial here.
- What is all this?
133
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,032
Oh, these just say if anything
should happen to you,
134
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,408
I'm not responsible,
blah-blah-blah.
135
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,202
I'm-I'm just boring myself.
136
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,371
I had a lot of fun
with you tonight, Courtney.
137
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,331
Me too.
138
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,125
Oh, Courtney.
139
00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,459
Oh, Glenn.
140
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:02,003
Oh, oh, giggity!
141
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:05,382
Wait. Did you
just say "giggity"?
142
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,800
Yeah. Sorry.
143
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,427
Sometimes I just blurt that out
when I get excited.
144
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,222
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
145
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,561
Here. Rub this up and down
on the inside of your cheek.
146
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,564
- Giggity.
- Aah! Stop saying that!
147
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,737
What is it, Glenn?
What's wrong?
148
00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:30,949
You're... you're my daughter!
149
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,242
Oh, my God!
150
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,827
Wow.
151
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,746
I guess this means
I have a phone call to make.
152
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:38,456
Hey, it's Glenn Quagmire.
153
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:41,126
Would you tell Andrew
that he is not the father?
154
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:44,171
Andrew,
you are not the father.
155
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:04,274
Courtney, there's something
I just got to ask.
156
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,193
What the heck was the theme
of that dance?
157
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,611
What do you mean?
158
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,155
I mean, like, there was
palm trees like it was Hawaii,
159
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,449
but then there was
a suit of armor in the corner.
160
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,826
There was a big banner
w-with fish on it.
161
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,370
Can we get back to the fact
that you're my dad?
162
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:19,664
Yeah, you're right.
I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
163
00:08:20,429 --> 00:08:23,556
Well, let me ask.
What's up with your mom?
164
00:08:23,557 --> 00:08:25,809
Actually, I never knew my mom.
165
00:08:25,810 --> 00:08:28,853
I was hoping that you could
tell me about her.
166
00:08:28,854 --> 00:08:31,439
Uh... of course I can.
167
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,941
Your mom...
168
00:08:32,942 --> 00:08:36,611
your mom... was really...
169
00:08:36,612 --> 00:08:38,822
thing hanging on
the bulletin board behind you.
170
00:08:38,823 --> 00:08:41,533
That's so nice to hear.
Tell me more.
171
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:44,995
Oh, gosh, she was,
she was just so...
172
00:08:44,996 --> 00:08:46,621
word on the bottom
of your coffee cup.
173
00:08:46,622 --> 00:08:49,290
I always knew she would be!
What else?
174
00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:51,835
I just have some
great memories of her...
175
00:08:51,836 --> 00:08:53,795
numbers to call
in case of emergency
176
00:08:53,796 --> 00:08:55,505
or accidental poisoning.
177
00:08:55,506 --> 00:08:58,591
It's like she's here
with us right now.
178
00:08:58,592 --> 00:09:01,261
So you don't know your mom?
Who do you live with?
179
00:09:01,262 --> 00:09:03,138
Well, right now I'm on a futon
180
00:09:03,139 --> 00:09:04,889
in the rafters
of my friend's garage.
181
00:09:04,890 --> 00:09:07,100
Oh! Actually,
I better get going.
182
00:09:07,101 --> 00:09:09,602
I have to feed their ferrets.
They breed them.
183
00:09:09,603 --> 00:09:11,980
It's pretty terrifying.
184
00:09:11,981 --> 00:09:15,025
Anyway, thank you so much
for being so nice,
185
00:09:15,026 --> 00:09:17,527
and let's talk soon?
186
00:09:17,528 --> 00:09:19,779
Wait, hold on. You can't
live in a ferret garage.
187
00:09:19,780 --> 00:09:20,822
You need a home.
188
00:09:20,823 --> 00:09:23,616
You know, you could
move in here.
189
00:09:23,617 --> 00:09:26,161
I have an extra bedroom,
and the bed has a bunch
190
00:09:26,162 --> 00:09:28,079
of different-sized
pillows on it.
191
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,874
Hmm. I do love dealing with
those pillows every day,
192
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,459
but are you sure?
193
00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:34,419
I don't want to be a burden.
194
00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:37,380
No, it's no problem.
Hey, you're my daughter.
195
00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:39,549
I want to make sure
you have everything you need.
196
00:09:39,550 --> 00:09:42,343
Thanks. That's sweet.
197
00:09:42,344 --> 00:09:46,014
Um... okay! Yeah.
I'll move in.
198
00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:47,474
That's huge for me.
199
00:09:47,475 --> 00:09:49,893
Hey, is that an Instant Pot?
200
00:09:49,894 --> 00:09:52,395
- No, it's a Crock-Pot.
- You got to get an Instant Pot.
201
00:09:52,396 --> 00:09:54,647
You can make short ribs in it.
It falls right off...
202
00:09:54,648 --> 00:09:56,149
Yeah, yeah, falls right off
the bone. I know.
203
00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,650
I've had this conversation
five times.
204
00:09:57,651 --> 00:09:59,319
Hey, Quagmire.
205
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,529
I hear you're considering
an Instant Pot.
206
00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:03,990
Courtney,
that's Joe, my neighbor.
207
00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:07,203
Hey, Courtney.
You getting this guy on board?
208
00:10:10,372 --> 00:10:13,208
So, I think I had
a wet nightmare last night.
209
00:10:13,209 --> 00:10:14,918
Is that possible?
210
00:10:14,919 --> 00:10:17,629
- Hello, fellow daddios.
- Did you bang your kid yet?
211
00:10:17,630 --> 00:10:20,548
Okay, Peter, can I talk to you
for a second?
212
00:10:20,549 --> 00:10:23,593
I'm sorry, but I am not going
to stand for any misogyny.
213
00:10:23,594 --> 00:10:25,470
Stop acting like
a Neanderthal pig.
214
00:10:25,471 --> 00:10:27,388
Those sound scary.
215
00:10:27,389 --> 00:10:29,599
What were you two ladies
talking about?
216
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,976
Joe, can I talk to you
for a second?
217
00:10:31,977 --> 00:10:35,146
It's 2019.
Time-tested jokes like that
218
00:10:35,147 --> 00:10:37,190
are now offensive
and not funny at all.
219
00:10:37,191 --> 00:10:39,943
Okay, I got to go.
220
00:10:39,944 --> 00:10:42,237
I'm taking Courtney
to her first WNBA game.
221
00:10:42,238 --> 00:10:44,197
I got courtside seats.
222
00:10:44,198 --> 00:10:46,574
They're way in the back, but
I'm sitting next to Courtney.
223
00:10:46,575 --> 00:10:48,952
I-I got dad jokes now.
224
00:10:48,953 --> 00:10:51,162
See you, friends.
225
00:10:51,163 --> 00:10:52,831
Yes, 911?
226
00:10:52,832 --> 00:10:55,375
Someone has stolen
the old Quagmire
227
00:10:55,376 --> 00:10:59,212
and replaced him with
a respectable man.
228
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:01,714
Sir, this line is reserved
for emergencies only.
229
00:11:01,715 --> 00:11:03,258
Please end your clammy joke.
230
00:11:03,259 --> 00:11:05,010
Okay. Sorry.
231
00:11:06,502 --> 00:11:10,502
For subtitling services, contatct:
waqas.zahoor89@gmail.com
232
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,857
- You remember what I told you?
- I'm the best around.
233
00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:16,525
Nothing's gonna
ever keep me down.
234
00:11:16,526 --> 00:11:18,981
That's right. I made that up.
Now go get 'em, kiddo.
235
00:11:18,983 --> 00:11:20,943
I'll be watching
with the other moms.
236
00:11:23,237 --> 00:11:25,530
Here's all the usual suspects.
237
00:11:25,531 --> 00:11:27,824
Oh, you're doing a video.
238
00:11:27,825 --> 00:11:31,286
Turn it... G-Get it off.
Glenn, I look terrible.
239
00:11:31,287 --> 00:11:33,330
Glenn, Courtney's up!
240
00:11:33,331 --> 00:11:35,624
Okay, okay, here we go. Please.
241
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:37,502
Let's go, Courtney!
242
00:11:43,424 --> 00:11:45,718
Ah, perfect! That's a ten!
243
00:11:47,553 --> 00:11:50,889
9.2? 9.2?!
244
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:52,350
9.2?!
245
00:11:55,686 --> 00:11:57,355
9.2?!
246
00:12:03,444 --> 00:12:06,738
9.2?! I'll give you a 9.2.
247
00:12:06,739 --> 00:12:07,740
On the Richter scale!
248
00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:10,575
Courtney, let's go.
249
00:12:10,576 --> 00:12:13,286
I get to go again.
We do it twice.
250
00:12:13,287 --> 00:12:15,164
Oh.
251
00:12:28,344 --> 00:12:30,555
Let's go, Courtney.
252
00:12:33,391 --> 00:12:35,141
So, you liking
Take Your Daughter to Work Day?
253
00:12:35,142 --> 00:12:36,643
Uh, yeah!
254
00:12:36,644 --> 00:12:39,396
I can't believe my dad knows
how to fly this thing.
255
00:12:39,397 --> 00:12:42,440
- You want to try?
- Me? I don't know.
256
00:12:42,441 --> 00:12:43,650
Come on, it's easy.
257
00:12:43,651 --> 00:12:45,318
You don't even need
a college degree,
258
00:12:45,319 --> 00:12:48,155
which is a very scary true fact.
Go ahead.
259
00:12:50,157 --> 00:12:51,575
You're doing great. Now roll it.
260
00:12:51,576 --> 00:12:53,660
What? No way.
261
00:12:53,661 --> 00:12:56,496
Don't worry, you're a Quagmire.
It's in your blood.
262
00:12:56,497 --> 00:12:58,624
- Grip it and rip it.
- Okay.
263
00:13:00,793 --> 00:13:03,753
Attagirl. Perfect.
264
00:13:03,754 --> 00:13:05,505
N-No. No, no.
We're not doing that.
265
00:13:05,506 --> 00:13:07,924
I got my daughter
with me today, you perverts.
266
00:13:07,925 --> 00:13:09,384
He's not doing it today.
267
00:13:09,385 --> 00:13:11,261
- Aw, shoot.
- Another time.
268
00:13:11,262 --> 00:13:12,763
Probably got his kid with him.
269
00:13:16,517 --> 00:13:19,060
I'm glad you guys could finally
come over for dinner.
270
00:13:19,061 --> 00:13:20,854
Sure thing, Lois.
Thanks for having us.
271
00:13:20,855 --> 00:13:23,940
See, Meg?
That's a thigh gap.
272
00:13:23,941 --> 00:13:26,568
Now, Courtney, I'd like
to awkwardly introduce you
273
00:13:26,569 --> 00:13:27,986
to someone your own age.
274
00:13:27,987 --> 00:13:29,571
Courtney, this is Megan.
275
00:13:29,572 --> 00:13:31,156
Maybe you listen
to the same music.
276
00:13:31,157 --> 00:13:32,407
- Hey.
- Hey.
277
00:13:32,408 --> 00:13:33,617
Yo, Courtney,
what's your Instagram?
278
00:13:33,618 --> 00:13:34,909
I just got on there
279
00:13:34,910 --> 00:13:36,620
and need some interesting peeps
to follow.
280
00:13:36,621 --> 00:13:38,872
Oh, you'll have to ask my dad.
281
00:13:38,873 --> 00:13:40,999
He approves
all my follow requests.
282
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,877
Denied! Nice try, ass.
283
00:13:43,878 --> 00:13:46,212
Hey, have you guys seen
the Wonder Woman film?
284
00:13:46,213 --> 00:13:48,048
- Yeah, no.
- Oh, you have to.
285
00:13:48,049 --> 00:13:49,174
It's a triumph.
286
00:13:49,175 --> 00:13:50,925
Courts and I
have seen it five times.
287
00:13:50,926 --> 00:13:52,719
It's an important movie, Peter.
288
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,180
You should watch it with Meg.
It's a masterwork.
289
00:13:55,181 --> 00:13:57,015
Oh, I've been wanting
to see that.
290
00:13:57,016 --> 00:13:58,476
Okay, we totally will.
291
00:14:00,770 --> 00:14:01,978
Hey, Dad,
I just checked the weather,
292
00:14:01,979 --> 00:14:04,814
and it looks like sunny skies
all weekend.
293
00:14:04,815 --> 00:14:07,400
- You guys have big plans?
- Yeah, we're going camping.
294
00:14:07,401 --> 00:14:09,778
Hey, you and Meg should
come with us, Peter.
295
00:14:09,779 --> 00:14:12,322
We'll make it a father-daughter
bonding weekend.
296
00:14:12,323 --> 00:14:15,492
- Oh, that's a great idea.
- Yeah, let's go, Dad.
297
00:14:15,493 --> 00:14:17,702
Y-You know who you should take
instead of me?
298
00:14:17,703 --> 00:14:20,205
Uh, Stewie or-or Chris or Brian.
299
00:14:20,206 --> 00:14:21,539
May-Maybe Lois.
300
00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:23,708
Or Seamus is fun.
301
00:14:23,709 --> 00:14:25,752
Carter Pewterschmidt,
Babs Pewterschmidt,
302
00:14:25,753 --> 00:14:27,962
Bonnie, Joe, their son Kevin,
303
00:14:27,963 --> 00:14:30,590
Cleveland, Jerome,
Bruce, Opie, Carl,
304
00:14:30,591 --> 00:14:33,468
the "phony" guy,
the ostrich, Al Harrington,
305
00:14:33,469 --> 00:14:37,138
Billy Finn, John Travolta
from one of our cutaways,
306
00:14:37,139 --> 00:14:39,974
uh, all of our characters
as Star Wars characters,
307
00:14:39,975 --> 00:14:41,768
everybody from
The Cleveland Show,
308
00:14:41,769 --> 00:14:43,228
Cherry Chevapravatdumrong--
309
00:14:43,229 --> 00:14:44,854
that's how that name
is pronounced--
310
00:14:44,855 --> 00:14:46,981
the Orville--
the ship, not the cast--
311
00:14:46,982 --> 00:14:49,609
um, me... Aw, damn it!
312
00:14:49,610 --> 00:14:51,361
Okay, fine. I'll go.
313
00:14:51,362 --> 00:14:52,529
- Thank you.
- Cool.
314
00:14:52,530 --> 00:14:55,240
I heard my name, too. I'm in!
315
00:14:55,241 --> 00:14:57,909
No? I'll drive, buy snacks?
316
00:14:57,910 --> 00:14:59,661
No? Okay.
317
00:14:59,662 --> 00:15:01,872
Everyone else is out here, too.
318
00:15:10,089 --> 00:15:12,757
Oh, my God,
it's literally everyone.
319
00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:15,844
That can only mean...
show ghosts!
320
00:15:15,845 --> 00:15:17,847
♪ ♪
321
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:32,069
♪ ♪
322
00:15:39,702 --> 00:15:41,828
I'm really glad
you decided to bring Meg
323
00:15:41,829 --> 00:15:44,122
on this camping trip, Peter.
It's gonna be great.
324
00:15:44,123 --> 00:15:46,709
-Because we're in the...
-Because we're in
the great outdoors.
325
00:15:49,211 --> 00:15:50,837
Ah.
326
00:15:50,838 --> 00:15:53,339
You don't get air like this
back in Quahog, do you, Pete?
327
00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:55,884
Uh, I don't know.
Some places, probably.
328
00:15:55,885 --> 00:15:59,721
Hoo-ah! Gosh, being in nature
gives me such great energy.
329
00:15:59,722 --> 00:16:01,973
Hey, Courtney, you ever see
a yellow-headed warbler?
330
00:16:01,974 --> 00:16:04,309
That's the only warbler
I haven't seen.
331
00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:05,894
Not for long it's not.
332
00:16:07,646 --> 00:16:09,606
Don't answer that.
333
00:16:09,607 --> 00:16:11,649
We're eating.
334
00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:12,901
They're probably eating.
335
00:16:12,902 --> 00:16:14,736
Okay, we're gonna have
a fun camp competition.
336
00:16:14,737 --> 00:16:17,113
And the first event,
worth five points,
337
00:16:17,114 --> 00:16:19,240
is a race down to the lake
right now!
338
00:16:19,241 --> 00:16:21,201
Last one there is
a stinky poo-poo egg!
339
00:16:21,202 --> 00:16:22,827
Come on, Dad!
340
00:16:22,828 --> 00:16:26,456
What Meg didn't know,
what none of them knew,
341
00:16:26,457 --> 00:16:28,333
is that I already was
342
00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:30,669
a stinky poo-poo egg.
343
00:16:34,173 --> 00:16:36,299
Boy, you don't get
stars like this
344
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,717
back in Quahog, do you, Pete?
345
00:16:37,718 --> 00:16:39,010
Stop calling me Pete.
346
00:16:39,011 --> 00:16:41,596
I know what'll cheer you up.
Skits!
347
00:16:41,597 --> 00:16:43,723
♪ Skits, skits, skits, skits ♪
348
00:16:43,724 --> 00:16:45,850
♪ Skits, skits,
skits, skits ♪
349
00:16:45,851 --> 00:16:47,936
♪ Skits-skits-skits-skits,
skits-skits ♪
350
00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:49,480
♪ Skits! ♪
351
00:16:53,442 --> 00:16:56,195
Well, isn't this
a perfect bench for a sit.
352
00:16:57,947 --> 00:17:00,573
Say, Dad, what are you doing?
353
00:17:00,574 --> 00:17:02,575
Oh, just sitting on
the invisible bench,
354
00:17:02,576 --> 00:17:05,161
reading about those
North Korea jokesters.
355
00:17:05,162 --> 00:17:08,957
But, Dad, they moved
the invisible bench last week.
356
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:10,876
Oh. It's over there now.
357
00:17:12,127 --> 00:17:13,920
Whoa!
358
00:17:16,924 --> 00:17:19,969
Ladies and gentlemen,
"The Invisible Bench" skit.
359
00:17:21,303 --> 00:17:22,637
Peter, you're up.
360
00:17:22,638 --> 00:17:25,974
Okay, here's one.
I call it "The Invisible Noose."
361
00:17:25,975 --> 00:17:27,976
First, I throw a rope
over this tree limb,
362
00:17:27,977 --> 00:17:29,477
put the noose around my neck.
363
00:17:29,478 --> 00:17:31,563
Now I'll just step
onto this rock
364
00:17:31,564 --> 00:17:34,233
and jump off into
the sweet relief of death.
365
00:17:38,487 --> 00:17:40,947
Peter, would you mind
flattening your rod?
366
00:17:40,948 --> 00:17:43,741
Fine. I'll Tootsie it
between my thighs.
367
00:17:43,742 --> 00:17:46,912
Yeah, okay, whatever gets it
away from my daughter's face.
368
00:17:52,209 --> 00:17:54,419
Are you eating an apple
with a knife?
369
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:56,296
God, that's always so forced.
370
00:17:56,297 --> 00:17:58,882
Hold on.
We've been here already.
371
00:17:58,883 --> 00:18:00,758
Yeah, she's right.
372
00:18:00,759 --> 00:18:02,761
That's where I graffitied
that rock.
373
00:18:05,264 --> 00:18:08,016
We've changed our minds.
We're going on record.
374
00:18:08,017 --> 00:18:09,434
We're not lost, all right?
375
00:18:09,435 --> 00:18:11,311
We're just two dads
bonding with our daughters,
376
00:18:11,312 --> 00:18:13,396
and getting lost
is not part of the plan.
377
00:18:13,397 --> 00:18:14,439
All right, nobody panic.
378
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,773
We just need to get
our bearings.
379
00:18:15,774 --> 00:18:17,025
Hey, here comes a hiker.
380
00:18:17,026 --> 00:18:19,193
Excuse me, sir, we're lost.
381
00:18:19,194 --> 00:18:21,779
Ha! Then you must be
my car keys, right?
382
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:24,574
It is so nice
to get out of the city
383
00:18:24,575 --> 00:18:26,409
and meet friendly people.
384
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:28,745
You're not helping, Dad.
As usual.
385
00:18:28,746 --> 00:18:30,580
Well, at least
I didn't get us lost.
386
00:18:30,581 --> 00:18:34,042
We're not lost! We're just...
two dads in the woods,
387
00:18:34,043 --> 00:18:36,669
who love our daughters
very, very much.
388
00:18:36,670 --> 00:18:39,380
Okay, so maybe it's not
the life we chose.
389
00:18:39,381 --> 00:18:41,883
Well, you chose it. I didn't.
That's for damn sure!
390
00:18:41,884 --> 00:18:43,509
- Dad, will you help him?
- Shh.
391
00:18:43,510 --> 00:18:45,428
I've been waiting for this.
I knew it was fake.
392
00:18:45,429 --> 00:18:47,180
Dad, I'm sorry. I didn't...
393
00:18:47,181 --> 00:18:49,307
I'm not Dad! I'm Quagmire!
394
00:18:49,308 --> 00:18:50,725
Glenn Quagmire!
395
00:18:50,726 --> 00:18:52,185
Giggity giggity!
396
00:18:52,186 --> 00:18:54,395
I don't want to be out here!
I hate camping!
397
00:18:54,396 --> 00:18:56,606
And what the hell was the theme
of that stupid prom?!
398
00:18:56,607 --> 00:18:58,608
All the cups said,
"Oh, What a Night!"
399
00:18:58,609 --> 00:19:00,902
I mean, if it was,
"Oh, What a Knight" with a "K,"
400
00:19:00,903 --> 00:19:02,070
that would've made some sense,
401
00:19:02,071 --> 00:19:03,655
'cause there was
a suit of armor there.
402
00:19:03,656 --> 00:19:05,782
What was that about?
Answer me!
403
00:19:05,783 --> 00:19:08,576
I-I think it's possible
to overthink these things.
404
00:19:08,577 --> 00:19:10,161
Ugh, what a mish-mosh.
405
00:19:10,162 --> 00:19:11,871
Damn it, I just want to be home,
406
00:19:11,872 --> 00:19:14,540
not here, lost in the woods,
looking at this stupid map
407
00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:16,292
with a magnifying glass.
408
00:19:16,293 --> 00:19:17,419
Aah!
409
00:19:18,504 --> 00:19:20,506
♪ ♪
410
00:19:24,843 --> 00:19:27,095
Oh, my God.
What are we gonna do?
411
00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:28,304
I don't know.
412
00:19:28,305 --> 00:19:30,932
- Help!
- Dear God, someone help us!
413
00:19:30,933 --> 00:19:32,934
You know when this
would never happen?
414
00:19:32,935 --> 00:19:34,936
If I was sitting on the couch,
watching TV,
415
00:19:34,937 --> 00:19:37,063
ignoring you completely.
416
00:19:37,064 --> 00:19:39,983
Courtney, I'm sorry
for what I said earlier.
417
00:19:39,984 --> 00:19:42,610
You mean when you completely
ripped my school dance theme?
418
00:19:42,611 --> 00:19:44,487
No, no, there was no theme
to rip.
419
00:19:44,488 --> 00:19:46,531
That's the point.
I stand by all of that.
420
00:19:46,906 --> 00:19:48,490
If anything, I'm more angry.
421
00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:50,450
No, I'm-I'm talking about
being your father
422
00:19:50,451 --> 00:19:51,993
before I was ready.
423
00:19:51,994 --> 00:19:54,788
I promise, if we make it
out of here,
424
00:19:54,789 --> 00:19:56,539
we can start again.
425
00:19:56,540 --> 00:19:58,959
- Deal?
- Deal.
426
00:20:06,092 --> 00:20:07,717
9/11!
427
00:20:07,718 --> 00:20:09,928
Boston Strong!
428
00:20:09,929 --> 00:20:11,554
Oh, it's Smitty.
429
00:20:11,555 --> 00:20:13,014
We're saved!
430
00:20:13,015 --> 00:20:15,183
But we should warn the birds
the fire's coming.
431
00:20:16,727 --> 00:20:20,271
All right, stay calm.
432
00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:23,693
Grab the pictures.
I'll get your mother's ashes.
433
00:20:28,697 --> 00:20:31,783
Wow, Peter, that was
a close call with that fire,
434
00:20:31,784 --> 00:20:34,452
but I'm glad you all
made it back safe and sound.
435
00:20:34,453 --> 00:20:35,787
Yeah, me, too.
436
00:20:35,788 --> 00:20:37,163
What the hell?
437
00:20:37,164 --> 00:20:38,873
Oh, I hope it's okay.
438
00:20:38,874 --> 00:20:40,959
I bought some more pillows.
439
00:20:44,255 --> 00:20:47,298
I mean, what is the deal
with women and pillows?
440
00:20:47,299 --> 00:20:48,800
Has-has anyone else
noticed this?
441
00:20:48,801 --> 00:20:50,718
No.
442
00:20:50,719 --> 00:20:54,639
No one? But I-I got three
minutes of material on pillows.
443
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,684
We don't want to hear it.
444
00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:35,181
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
444
00:21:36,305 --> 00:21:42,760
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
32601
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
