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1
00:00:01,444 --> 00:00:05,124
You'll be gone all day, then? That's
not a problem, is it, Supermum? No.
2
00:00:06,272 --> 00:00:09,470
I've got it all covered.
All about planning.
3
00:00:09,471 --> 00:00:11,909
Now, if there's any problems,
give me a call.
4
00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:13,831
Jamie, don't worry,
we're not idiots.
5
00:00:13,832 --> 00:00:15,430
Well, I'M not an idiot.
6
00:00:15,431 --> 00:00:17,391
Where the hell is she?
She's with Alan.
7
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,790
Alan? Alan's not safe.
8
00:00:19,791 --> 00:00:22,110
Yeah, she's fine.
9
00:00:22,111 --> 00:00:24,231
I think she misses her mummy, though.
10
00:00:25,511 --> 00:00:27,211
Oh, bollocks.
11
00:00:40,471 --> 00:00:42,669
So how many people
have you actually invited?
12
00:00:42,670 --> 00:00:45,589
Because my mum says we can probably
only afford about 50.
13
00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:48,431
It's fine, it's just
a few people from college.
14
00:00:48,432 --> 00:00:50,190
Kimberly Richards.
15
00:00:50,191 --> 00:00:51,830
Ah! Lovely Kimberly.
16
00:00:51,831 --> 00:00:53,909
Stephanie, brackets, fit Stephanie,
17
00:00:53,910 --> 00:00:56,429
not Stephanie whatshername,
close brackets.
18
00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:59,029
That Stephanie's nice. You can
have her at your party, then.
19
00:00:59,030 --> 00:01:01,631
The girls' hockey team?
There's only 11 of them.
20
00:01:01,632 --> 00:01:03,470
The girls' hockey B team?
21
00:01:03,471 --> 00:01:05,951
Oh, yeah,
but I'm not inviting the goalies.
22
00:01:07,191 --> 00:01:09,031
I don't know half of these girls.
23
00:01:09,032 --> 00:01:11,670
Exactly. Play to our strengths.
24
00:01:11,671 --> 00:01:13,949
I notice there are no boys
on this list.
25
00:01:13,950 --> 00:01:16,351
Yeah, there is, there's me,
there's Jamie.
26
00:01:19,191 --> 00:01:21,990
Fine, I'll invite the goalies.
27
00:01:21,991 --> 00:01:23,151
Who have you asked?
28
00:01:23,152 --> 00:01:25,910
Mum, Dad and Leanne from work.
29
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:28,711
Your parents and your boss?
What are you doing?
30
00:01:28,712 --> 00:01:30,710
This party is in crisis.
31
00:01:30,711 --> 00:01:34,069
It's in 24 hours, we haven't even
got any confirmed hot girls.
32
00:01:34,070 --> 00:01:35,909
I'm waiting to hear
back from Laura too.
33
00:01:35,910 --> 00:01:38,069
Why on earth would you
want her there?
34
00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:39,669
Because she's the mother of my child.
35
00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:42,709
Exactly. Why on earth
would you want her there?
36
00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:44,589
I just thought it would be nice.
Really?
37
00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:46,191
Yeah. And she'll be bringing Emily.
38
00:01:46,192 --> 00:01:48,270
Oh, great, a baby too!
39
00:01:48,271 --> 00:01:50,751
If I didn't invite her,
it'd look bad.
40
00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:54,310
Fine.
41
00:01:54,311 --> 00:01:57,750
Mum, Dad, Emily, Laura.
42
00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,630
Thank you.
We're pushing it for numbers.
43
00:02:00,631 --> 00:02:04,231
I'm going to have to drop some
of the netball squad and maybe Beth.
44
00:02:12,631 --> 00:02:14,191
'Hi, Laura, how's it going?'
45
00:02:14,192 --> 00:02:15,630
What do you want?
46
00:02:15,631 --> 00:02:18,031
Look, I know
you're probably really busy.
47
00:02:18,032 --> 00:02:19,070
Yes, I am busy.
48
00:02:19,071 --> 00:02:21,389
'I wondered if you'd thought
about coming to my 18th.
49
00:02:21,390 --> 00:02:22,631
'It'd be really nice if...'
50
00:02:25,071 --> 00:02:26,231
'Dad!'
51
00:02:27,391 --> 00:02:29,870
Sorry, Jamie, your 18th.
'Yeah.'
52
00:02:29,871 --> 00:02:33,670
It's tomorrow.
It'd be really nice to see you.
53
00:02:33,671 --> 00:02:36,749
Yeah, I don't know
if I can make it, to be honest.
54
00:02:36,750 --> 00:02:38,989
Danielle's back from uni
this weekend.
55
00:02:38,990 --> 00:02:41,671
She can come too
and you can bring Emily.
56
00:02:41,672 --> 00:02:44,630
'Really? No, I don't think so.'
57
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:48,190
It's for family too. You're family.
58
00:02:48,191 --> 00:02:49,350
Hardly.
59
00:02:49,351 --> 00:02:51,831
Well, I'd still like you
to come anyway.
60
00:02:51,832 --> 00:02:55,910
OK, well, yeah,
I'll have a think about it.
61
00:02:55,911 --> 00:02:58,711
'Oh, great, it's at the...'
62
00:03:01,071 --> 00:03:02,871
Mission accomplished.
63
00:03:04,471 --> 00:03:05,591
Thanks, Dad.
64
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:11,590
Yeah, that's right,
"Happy birthday, Jamie"
65
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:15,551
in Roman candles and Catherine
wheels with a rocket finale.
66
00:03:16,871 --> 00:03:20,151
How much? And without the rockets
is that...?
67
00:03:21,271 --> 00:03:22,830
He'll call you back.
68
00:03:22,831 --> 00:03:26,349
OK, so that's quotes for
the fireworks, the bubble machine
69
00:03:26,350 --> 00:03:28,429
and the weapons-grade
confetti cannon.
70
00:03:28,430 --> 00:03:29,671
Does that say stripper?
71
00:03:29,672 --> 00:03:31,750
No. Oh.
72
00:03:31,751 --> 00:03:33,150
Yes.
73
00:03:33,151 --> 00:03:34,591
You are not booking a stripper.
74
00:03:34,592 --> 00:03:36,430
No, it's paint stripper.
75
00:03:36,431 --> 00:03:40,870
It's street slang!
You know, as in cheap booze.
76
00:03:40,871 --> 00:03:42,469
How much is all this costing?
77
00:03:42,470 --> 00:03:44,669
Remember,
Jamie's parents are paying.
78
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:46,829
Oh, it's fine,
his dad loves a party.
79
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:50,791
And that is why the government
have funded these workshops
80
00:03:50,792 --> 00:03:53,390
for the long-term unemployed.
81
00:03:53,391 --> 00:03:58,470
A positive mental attitude plays
a big part in getting a job,
82
00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:02,950
so we're looking at how to tap in
to that positive energy
83
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,551
that's all around us.
84
00:04:05,631 --> 00:04:11,031
We'll be looking at mindfulness
exercises, meditation, basic yoga.
85
00:04:12,071 --> 00:04:17,191
Now, let's take a look at
why work is a four-letter word.
86
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:21,790
Willpower. Objectives.
87
00:04:21,791 --> 00:04:24,751
Relaxation. Karma.
88
00:04:26,191 --> 00:04:30,750
Here's some literature for you
to read before next time.
89
00:04:30,751 --> 00:04:32,630
Do we have to read this?
90
00:04:32,631 --> 00:04:36,991
Keep it job positive. Read this and,
trust me, a positive will result.
91
00:04:36,992 --> 00:04:38,950
Yeah, right.
92
00:04:38,951 --> 00:04:40,831
You won't get your benefits cut.
93
00:04:46,831 --> 00:04:47,990
Hello?
94
00:04:47,991 --> 00:04:50,910
'Hiya. We still on
for tomorrow night?'
95
00:04:50,911 --> 00:04:54,750
Hi. Yeah, yeah. No,
I'm really looking forward to it.
96
00:04:54,751 --> 00:04:56,911
Good. Cos Olly's having a party.
97
00:04:56,912 --> 00:05:01,590
Oh. Oh, OK. I thought
we were just going to chill.
98
00:05:01,591 --> 00:05:03,751
'You need to get out, girl,
before you turn into'
99
00:05:03,752 --> 00:05:05,910
a class A baby bore.
100
00:05:05,911 --> 00:05:07,349
'It's not actually the baby.'
101
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,909
It's just that there's
another party. It's Jamie's 18th.
102
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:12,149
Oh, for God's sake, Laura,
it's time to move on.
103
00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:15,031
But what about Emily? I'm going
to have to get a babysitter.
104
00:05:15,032 --> 00:05:20,150
Duh, what are parents for? Come on,
we are going to Olly's party.
105
00:05:20,151 --> 00:05:23,271
OK. Sounds great.
106
00:05:25,551 --> 00:05:26,591
Keith?
107
00:05:28,351 --> 00:05:29,631
Keith.
108
00:05:34,071 --> 00:05:36,150
Keith, are you OK?
109
00:05:36,151 --> 00:05:37,630
I feel fantastic.
110
00:05:37,631 --> 00:05:39,111
You look terrible.
111
00:05:42,351 --> 00:05:45,190
I hate to say it - she was right.
112
00:05:45,191 --> 00:05:46,871
If I want to get myself a job,
113
00:05:46,872 --> 00:05:50,430
I've got to get myself
into a positive mindset.
114
00:05:50,431 --> 00:05:51,831
That comes from two key things -
115
00:05:51,832 --> 00:05:53,751
physical fitness...
116
00:05:56,991 --> 00:05:59,310
and spiritual awareness.
117
00:05:59,311 --> 00:06:05,350
Do you know, Buddha once sat in
the same spot for 49 days in a row?
118
00:06:05,351 --> 00:06:07,349
Like you during the World Cup.
119
00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:10,911
You do not need enlightenment.
What you need is a job.
120
00:06:13,271 --> 00:06:14,670
It will come.
121
00:06:14,671 --> 00:06:18,911
But first I need to align myself
with the right energies.
122
00:06:20,391 --> 00:06:23,790
Make me a tea, green, no sugar.
123
00:06:23,791 --> 00:06:26,591
Green? Yeah. Takes ten years off you.
124
00:06:28,191 --> 00:06:29,511
Party tomorrow night.
125
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,351
Are you handing those
to random women?
126
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:35,470
No. Random hot women.
127
00:06:35,471 --> 00:06:37,751
This is it, Beth,
this is my career sorted.
128
00:06:37,752 --> 00:06:40,830
Party entrepr... Ent... Entrep...
129
00:06:40,831 --> 00:06:43,350
Party organiser.
130
00:06:43,351 --> 00:06:46,391
So did you cancel the stripper?
I didn't book a stripper.
131
00:06:46,392 --> 00:06:47,550
Mike!
132
00:06:47,551 --> 00:06:49,830
OK, I'll get on it.
133
00:06:49,831 --> 00:06:52,350
Party tomorrow night? I'll be there.
134
00:06:52,351 --> 00:06:54,110
There'll be drugs.
135
00:06:54,111 --> 00:06:56,389
Drugs? What do you mean drugs?
Shhhh!
136
00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:58,669
Course there'll be drugs -
it's a party.
137
00:06:58,670 --> 00:07:00,149
You are aware they're illegal.
138
00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:02,229
Exactly.
That's what makes them so cool.
139
00:07:02,230 --> 00:07:04,669
Drugs keep farmers in Columbia
in abject poverty.
140
00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:07,471
No, Beth, I think you're getting
a little bit confused.
141
00:07:07,472 --> 00:07:09,030
Drugs are expensive.
142
00:07:09,031 --> 00:07:10,430
Oh, for God's sake.
143
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:14,031
Look, don't worry, the drugs
I'm getting, they're 100% organic,
144
00:07:14,032 --> 00:07:17,150
ethically-sourced
and, best of all, free.
145
00:07:17,151 --> 00:07:19,269
What the hell are you talking about?
146
00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:21,389
Don't worry,
I've got it all planned.
147
00:07:21,390 --> 00:07:23,871
Yeah.
Those two phrases don't go together.
148
00:07:39,311 --> 00:07:43,349
For the love of God, Keith,
would you not have some meatballs?
149
00:07:43,350 --> 00:07:47,791
I'm trying to back off consuming
animal products. Meat is murder.
150
00:07:47,792 --> 00:07:50,670
They're economy
supermarket meatballs,
151
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,750
it can only be 50% murder, if that.
152
00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:55,109
You can't just have fruit.
153
00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:57,309
It's already playing havoc
with your guts.
154
00:07:57,310 --> 00:08:01,949
It's a necessary stage on the path
to mental positivity. I'm detoxing.
155
00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:04,711
Is that what it's called?
You'll end up living in that toilet.
156
00:08:04,712 --> 00:08:06,750
OK, I'm heading out.
157
00:08:06,751 --> 00:08:10,069
Wait, wait. For your birthday cake,
do you want your usual?
158
00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:11,631
You know, the hungry moose?
159
00:08:11,632 --> 00:08:13,470
Mum, it's my 18th.
160
00:08:13,471 --> 00:08:16,471
I know, but they do a big one now
so I can get all the candles on it.
161
00:08:16,472 --> 00:08:20,150
No, I mean,
I think I've probably outgrown it.
162
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:24,110
Oh, God. My little boy's too old
for the hungry moose.
163
00:08:24,111 --> 00:08:26,989
Quite right too, son.
It's all just soulless
164
00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:29,751
commercial exploitation
of man's natural birth cycle.
165
00:08:29,752 --> 00:08:31,830
Now, if you will excuse me...
166
00:08:31,831 --> 00:08:33,270
Where are you going?
167
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:34,751
Detox.
168
00:08:47,090 --> 00:08:48,610
Magic mushroom land.
169
00:08:52,970 --> 00:08:55,450
Looks a bit tricky, Beth.
I better go first.
170
00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:12,850
Just think, somewhere
in this field are some of
171
00:09:12,851 --> 00:09:16,849
the most powerful, mind-altering
substances in the world.
172
00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:19,410
Hey, maybe that's why cows
are always so spaced out.
173
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,610
Let's try over here. Are you sure
you know what you're looking for?
174
00:09:23,611 --> 00:09:25,489
Yeah, mushrooms.
175
00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:27,850
Do you know how many varieties
there are?
176
00:09:27,851 --> 00:09:31,569
There's those big ones,
the ones that gnomes sit on.
177
00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:32,890
Those are toadstools.
178
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:37,010
All right, what about these ones?
Any good?
179
00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:40,209
That's a death cap.
180
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:43,329
They cause nausea,
heart palpitations,
181
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:46,050
low blood pressure,
vomiting and then a coma.
182
00:09:46,051 --> 00:09:49,089
How long would the coma be for,
roughly?
183
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,010
Ah, look, I think I've found some.
184
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:56,050
These ones? They just look
like ordinary mushrooms.
185
00:09:56,051 --> 00:09:59,050
Maybe that's what's
so magic about them.
186
00:10:01,330 --> 00:10:03,009
Makes sense.
187
00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:05,530
Woo-hoo,
we're going to be off our tits.
188
00:10:05,531 --> 00:10:07,529
No of fence. None taken.
189
00:10:07,530 --> 00:10:10,689
Oh, look at that one. It's a beauty.
190
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:12,210
Laura?
191
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:17,809
Laura, we're shopping for YOU.
So pick something.
192
00:10:17,810 --> 00:10:19,969
Oh, OK. Um...
193
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:21,009
This.
194
00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:23,448
God, no,
that's like a neon sign screaming,
195
00:10:23,449 --> 00:10:26,410
"Mum going out
for the first time in a year."
196
00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:31,889
Um... This?
197
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:33,530
See, now, that is a hot dress.
198
00:10:33,531 --> 00:10:36,969
Olly's mates will be all over you.
199
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,848
Yeah,
it's probably really expensive.
200
00:10:38,849 --> 00:10:40,208
Yeah, it's really expensive.
201
00:10:40,209 --> 00:10:42,408
Laura, I'm not going
to let you turn into
202
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,450
one of those boring single mums
who never goes out, OK?
203
00:10:45,451 --> 00:10:49,369
This dress says
you're back in the game.
204
00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:50,929
Or back on the game.
205
00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:52,770
Even better. We're getting it.
206
00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:58,529
Hey! Nice one, Mum.
207
00:10:58,530 --> 00:11:02,330
Well, you were banging on about it
for about six months. And now...
208
00:11:02,331 --> 00:11:04,849
Keith!
209
00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:05,889
Ta-da!
210
00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:08,009
Oh, Mum!
211
00:11:08,010 --> 00:11:11,649
I couldn't resist it. Oh.
212
00:11:11,650 --> 00:11:13,809
Keith!
213
00:11:13,810 --> 00:11:15,369
Keith, where are you?
214
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,329
In here. Ah, come on.
215
00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:18,410
Give us five minutes.
216
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,849
Oh, for God's sake. Keith!
217
00:11:21,850 --> 00:11:25,049
You know what,
will you grab them plates?
218
00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:27,170
We'll just have
it in the living room.
219
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,089
Great.
220
00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:33,410
Get that door there, love.
221
00:11:34,850 --> 00:11:36,610
Ah, thanks.
222
00:11:38,170 --> 00:11:40,130
Mother of Jesus, Keith!
223
00:11:41,810 --> 00:11:44,089
Dad, what are you doing?
224
00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:47,369
It's called the lotus.
It's very calming.
225
00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:50,730
I think I'd rather have my cake
in the kitchen.
226
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:58,809
You know, Keith, for a man
squatting on a Homebase rug
227
00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:01,688
in his underwear,
you actually look quite good.
228
00:12:01,689 --> 00:12:03,250
Have you lost a bit of weight?
229
00:12:03,251 --> 00:12:05,849
No. I've gained perspective.
230
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,609
Ah, well, whatever it is,
I like it.
231
00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:10,248
Now, come and have some cake.
232
00:12:10,249 --> 00:12:12,728
After I've done
the crouching ostrich.
233
00:12:12,729 --> 00:12:13,890
I'm not sure what that is
234
00:12:13,891 --> 00:12:17,249
but I'm guessing
I should close the curtains.
235
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,490
Ohh.
236
00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:26,449
Nice dress.
237
00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:28,409
Thanks.
238
00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:32,288
Sandra did invite us tonight, but
I said we had to babysit for you.
239
00:12:32,289 --> 00:12:34,090
Feeble excuse, I know, but...
240
00:12:34,091 --> 00:12:36,209
No, you are babysitting for me.
241
00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:40,689
Are we? Oh, good.
The truth - perfect alibi.
242
00:12:40,690 --> 00:12:43,089
Well, give Jamie the bumps from me.
243
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:45,090
Oh, no, I'm not going to Jamie's.
244
00:12:45,091 --> 00:12:48,129
Oh, does that mean I'm lying again?
245
00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:51,650
No, I'm going to another party
with Danielle, so...
246
00:12:51,651 --> 00:12:54,810
Oh, right.
And Jamie's OK with that, is he?
247
00:12:56,330 --> 00:12:58,850
I doubt he'll even notice
that I'm not there.
248
00:12:58,851 --> 00:13:01,129
Shouldn't you just pop in?
249
00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:02,209
Why?
250
00:13:02,210 --> 00:13:05,209
Well, it is a big event, isn't it?
251
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:08,088
I think you should maybe
make the effort. Dad!
252
00:13:08,089 --> 00:13:11,768
I make all the effort.
I'm at home with Emily every day.
253
00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:15,450
The few times I ask him
to do something, he lets me down.
254
00:13:15,451 --> 00:13:17,449
He's a useless father.
255
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:18,490
No.
256
00:13:19,770 --> 00:13:21,889
I was a useless father.
257
00:13:21,890 --> 00:13:24,528
I missed your first words,
your first steps,
258
00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:27,528
missed most of the first five years,
really.
259
00:13:27,529 --> 00:13:30,210
I even volunteered
to go on business trips.
260
00:13:30,211 --> 00:13:34,449
I mean, I know it's not easy for you
261
00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:36,889
but Jamie does try.
262
00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:40,529
I think you should cut the boy
some slack.
263
00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:41,610
Hmm?
264
00:13:43,010 --> 00:13:44,290
Anyway...
265
00:13:57,410 --> 00:13:58,489
Hi!
266
00:13:58,490 --> 00:14:01,768
OK, so nice dress but that it
definitely not the right accessory.
267
00:14:01,769 --> 00:14:04,808
We are not going to Jamie's.
I really think I ought to go.
268
00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:07,568
Well, I'm not going. Well,
I can't face walking in on my own.
269
00:14:07,569 --> 00:14:09,608
Please, just for a bit? No way.
270
00:14:09,609 --> 00:14:12,810
I'll buy all the drinks
and then you can go on to Olly's.
271
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:14,529
I can go on to Olly's?
272
00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:18,130
I'll pay for the cab. Please,
please? We're still going out.
273
00:14:18,131 --> 00:14:21,530
Yep. All three of us. Whoo!
274
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:47,620
Brilliant! Thanks, Beth.
275
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,860
Jamie, Jamie!
276
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:54,619
What's wrong with Mike?
277
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:57,618
Oh, nothing, it's just
the hallucinogenic drugs.
278
00:14:57,619 --> 00:15:01,180
What? Don't worry,
he thinks he's got magic mushrooms,
279
00:15:01,181 --> 00:15:05,139
but they're not, they're
the un-magic but delicious type.
280
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,740
He wants us all to take some.
281
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:09,619
Shall we?
282
00:15:09,620 --> 00:15:11,020
Anything to shut him up.
283
00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:17,339
Right, so I got the lager
and I got the M&M's.
284
00:15:17,340 --> 00:15:19,899
You ready? Sure, why not?
285
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:22,900
OK, let's fly.
Come on, Mike, you take some first.
286
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,340
OK.
287
00:15:33,820 --> 00:15:35,020
Anything?
288
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:41,940
Yeah, I'm tripping. Definitely.
289
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:45,820
What's it like?
290
00:15:49,420 --> 00:15:50,460
Magic.
291
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:52,700
Cool.
292
00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:56,900
Come on, you sexy, bendy man.
293
00:15:58,180 --> 00:15:59,900
Right, you, come on. Let's do this.
294
00:15:59,901 --> 00:16:00,939
Whoo!
295
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:03,139
Whoop! Hey!
296
00:16:03,140 --> 00:16:05,060
Right up the crack of your arse.
297
00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:10,979
Hi, son. Happy birthday.
298
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:13,099
Thanks, Mum. Thank you.
299
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:15,578
All right, hey,
happy birthday, buddy.
300
00:16:15,579 --> 00:16:18,938
Thanks. Thanks for making the effort.
That's all right.
301
00:16:18,939 --> 00:16:21,380
Don't worry,
I'm sure she'll turn up.
302
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:24,060
Do you want a drink?
303
00:16:24,061 --> 00:16:26,339
Yeah, we are here to party.
304
00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:28,419
What do you want? Tap water.
305
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,499
And a large glass of white.
306
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:33,260
A large white wine
and a tap water, please, mate.
307
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:37,499
Jamie, happy birthday.
308
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,260
This is my cousin, Hannah.
309
00:16:39,261 --> 00:16:41,099
Hi. Hi.
310
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,859
Happy birthday, Jamie.
311
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:45,780
Jamie's the one who reorganised
all the under-fives merchandise.
312
00:16:45,781 --> 00:16:47,219
Oh, wow.
313
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:49,420
Yeah, that's me.
King of the soft toys.
314
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:51,740
Do you want a drink?
315
00:16:51,741 --> 00:16:53,099
Yeah. Yeah.
316
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,260
All right, Leanne?
317
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:57,499
Keith.
318
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,380
Come on, you. Let's move.
319
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,620
Beth, your 'shrooms kicked in yet?
320
00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:14,220
Uh, yeah, yeah.
321
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:18,420
Oh, the colours are really vivid,
aren't they?
322
00:17:18,421 --> 00:17:21,699
Really? I'm not getting anything.
323
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:23,580
Are you drinking as well, though?
324
00:17:23,581 --> 00:17:24,819
Yeah, course.
325
00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:28,899
Maybe you have
a very high tolerance threshold.
326
00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:31,979
Yeah, yeah, no, that sounds right.
327
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:33,860
Maybe you should take some more.
328
00:17:33,861 --> 00:17:35,980
Do you think? Yeah, go for it.
329
00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:53,299
Whoo!
330
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,020
I am the mushroom man!
331
00:17:56,540 --> 00:18:00,580
Hey, let's crank up the music,
everybody. Wahey!
332
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:04,020
Sorry.
333
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:25,299
Ah, the 'shrooms are really
kicking in now.
334
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:28,498
Oh, the colours are,
like, changing colour, man.
335
00:18:28,499 --> 00:18:30,740
I think that's just the disco lights,
Mike.
336
00:18:30,741 --> 00:18:32,700
Amazing. Whoo!
337
00:18:52,819 --> 00:18:55,540
Come on, toy boy.
Come and dance with us.
338
00:18:55,541 --> 00:18:56,580
Oh, OK.
339
00:19:33,060 --> 00:19:34,099
You made it.
340
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:37,780
Happy birthday, Jamie. And
Emily says, "Happy birthday, Daddy."
341
00:19:37,781 --> 00:19:38,819
Hello!
342
00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:41,419
And I say, "Is there a free bar?"
343
00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:43,619
Sure.
344
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:45,099
This is from Emily.
345
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:48,419
Ah, that's lovely, thanks, Em.
346
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:49,580
All her own work.
347
00:19:50,780 --> 00:19:53,018
Ah, that's really nice,
thanks, Laura.
348
00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:54,220
I'm so glad you came.
349
00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,579
She likes the music.
350
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:01,499
Do you want to dance?
351
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,699
Who?
352
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,499
All of us.
353
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,540
OK.
354
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:09,739
Dance with Daddy.
355
00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:11,020
Come on.
356
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:32,339
All right, Danielle?
Do you remember me?
357
00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:33,380
Yes.
358
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,039
Hey, so I was... Whatever the
question is, the answer is no.
359
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,041
I'm on drugs. What, for the acne?
360
00:21:05,042 --> 00:21:09,760
No, no, no, no.
Me, Mike, Jamie and Beth,
361
00:21:09,761 --> 00:21:12,841
we're all off our head
on the old M&M's. M&M's?
362
00:21:12,842 --> 00:21:14,960
Yeah, magic mushrooms.
363
00:21:14,961 --> 00:21:19,079
Yeah, don't really affect me.
Got quite a high mushroom tolerance.
364
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,559
Actually,
do you have any spare drugs on you?
365
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:24,479
You know, a little something
for the comedown.
366
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:28,121
Oh, yeah, I do, actually.
Let me just go and get them.
367
00:21:32,321 --> 00:21:34,800
Oh, Emily.
368
00:21:34,801 --> 00:21:38,800
OK, I've had about as much
"fun" here as I can stand.
369
00:21:38,801 --> 00:21:42,041
Aww, look, he is so sweet with her.
370
00:21:44,121 --> 00:21:47,161
He'd be happy to cuddle a Rottweiler
if he's tripping like Mike is.
371
00:21:47,162 --> 00:21:48,920
Tripping?
372
00:21:48,921 --> 00:21:52,000
Yeah, him and Mike are on mushrooms
373
00:21:52,001 --> 00:21:54,761
and now they're trying
to score something else.
374
00:21:59,961 --> 00:22:02,480
Give her to me. What?
375
00:22:02,481 --> 00:22:06,001
I cannot believe that you lot are on
drugs in front of your own daughter.
376
00:22:06,002 --> 00:22:07,240
I'm not on drugs.
377
00:22:07,241 --> 00:22:08,961
Don't lie to me too, Jamie.
378
00:22:10,601 --> 00:22:12,280
Oh, the mushrooms.
379
00:22:12,281 --> 00:22:15,159
They're just normal mushrooms.
We're just winding up Mike.
380
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,961
Yeah, right, look at him.
He's completely off his face.
381
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:21,160
He's not. That's just Mike
and a few pints.
382
00:22:21,161 --> 00:22:24,041
Oh, really, is it?
And how many pints have you had?
383
00:22:24,042 --> 00:22:25,960
I'm 18 and it's my birthday,
384
00:22:25,961 --> 00:22:28,679
I'm allowed a couple of drinks,
for God's sake.
385
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,679
I'm not a kid.
You can't keep treating me like one.
386
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,361
I'm officially a fully-grown man
387
00:22:33,362 --> 00:22:36,280
and have been
for the past...26 minutes.
388
00:22:36,281 --> 00:22:38,800
Oh, well, congratulations!
389
00:22:38,801 --> 00:22:41,081
You're not the only adult
in this relationship now.
390
00:22:41,082 --> 00:22:42,320
What relationship?
391
00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:44,680
Us. There is no us.
392
00:22:44,681 --> 00:22:48,039
You're not my boyfriend, Jamie.
We're barely even mates.
393
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,199
We're just two people who had a kid.
394
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,799
Jesus, this was such a mistake.
395
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,599
I never should have come here,
I should have gone to Olly's.
396
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,119
Who the hell is Olly?
He is a friend of Danielle's.
397
00:22:58,120 --> 00:22:59,919
Not that it's any of your business.
398
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,599
I could have gone to his party, but,
399
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,161
oh, no, I had to come here,
to your party.
400
00:23:04,162 --> 00:23:05,320
Oh, fine.
401
00:23:05,321 --> 00:23:07,759
If you don't want to be here,
don't let me get in your way.
402
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,321
Give me Emily and you can go
and do what you'd rather be doing.
403
00:23:11,322 --> 00:23:14,520
Hallelujah, he finally babysits!
404
00:23:14,521 --> 00:23:15,800
Come on, let's go.
405
00:23:15,801 --> 00:23:17,199
Don't drink too much, Laura.
406
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,599
We all know what happened last time
you went to a party with Danielle.
407
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,041
Lock up your sons, everyone,
Laura's coming.
408
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:41,561
No, Mike, you didn't.
409
00:23:44,201 --> 00:23:45,921
Which one's the birthday boy?
410
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,401
Does this feel a bit weird?
411
00:24:11,402 --> 00:24:13,040
A little bit.
412
00:24:13,041 --> 00:24:15,401
Do you want me to keep going or...?
413
00:24:15,402 --> 00:24:17,321
Er... I don't know.
414
00:24:21,281 --> 00:24:23,920
She's a cutie. How old's she?
415
00:24:23,921 --> 00:24:25,080
Four months.
416
00:24:25,081 --> 00:24:27,081
Aw, I've got two of my own.
417
00:24:28,281 --> 00:24:30,160
Ella and Barney.
418
00:24:30,161 --> 00:24:31,640
That's nice.
419
00:24:31,641 --> 00:24:34,400
I was in labour 16 hours
with Barney.
420
00:24:34,401 --> 00:24:36,801
OK, stop now.
421
00:24:38,761 --> 00:24:41,641
Stop? I'm still getting paid, right?
< Aw, come on!
422
00:24:49,681 --> 00:24:51,641
Oh, you're an animal.
423
00:24:53,401 --> 00:24:54,601
Come on.
424
00:24:57,721 --> 00:24:59,961
Hang on, whoa! I dropped... Hang on.
425
00:24:59,962 --> 00:25:01,281
Wait, wait, wait.
426
00:25:12,282 --> 00:25:15,080
Just keep going.
427
00:25:15,081 --> 00:25:17,761
The song's going.
It's sort of distracting.
428
00:25:17,762 --> 00:25:20,440
That's... That's put me off.
429
00:25:20,441 --> 00:25:23,520
It's all right. Ooh!
430
00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:26,480
I don't mind. Just keep going.
431
00:25:33,202 --> 00:25:34,320
Sorry.
432
00:25:34,321 --> 00:25:35,841
Oh, I'm clapping my hands.
433
00:25:35,842 --> 00:25:37,600
Oh, don't stop, ooh.
434
00:25:37,601 --> 00:25:39,320
Are you going?
435
00:25:39,321 --> 00:25:40,840
Yeah.
436
00:25:40,841 --> 00:25:44,561
Well, if you fancy going for a drink
sometime, just give me a call.
437
00:25:50,161 --> 00:25:51,681
See ya.
438
00:25:59,281 --> 00:26:02,920
Jamie, come on, stay a bit longer,
it's your party.
439
00:26:02,921 --> 00:26:05,001
Have you seen that bowl Laura got me?
440
00:26:10,961 --> 00:26:13,841
Ugh. No.
441
00:27:29,700 --> 00:27:32,539
I think I'm finally getting it.
442
00:27:32,540 --> 00:27:34,740
We don't need material goods
or money.
443
00:27:36,660 --> 00:27:38,619
I don't actually need a job.
444
00:27:38,620 --> 00:27:42,379
Keith, shut up,
I think I might be pregnant.
445
00:27:42,380 --> 00:27:43,619
What?
446
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:44,660
Oh, shit.
447
00:27:48,660 --> 00:27:49,699
Negative.
448
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:53,259
Oh, God! Oh, I need a drink.
449
00:27:53,260 --> 00:27:55,220
Yeah.
450
00:27:59,900 --> 00:28:02,180
I think I just put those ten years
back on.
451
00:28:04,860 --> 00:28:07,220
What happened to the detox?
452
00:28:09,180 --> 00:28:10,780
OK, I'm off out, then.
453
00:28:13,460 --> 00:28:15,179
There you go.
454
00:28:15,180 --> 00:28:17,060
God, we really dodged
a bullet there.
455
00:28:17,061 --> 00:28:18,899
Oh, God, what a relief.
456
00:28:18,900 --> 00:28:20,620
It must just be the menopause.
457
00:28:36,340 --> 00:28:38,060
I'm really glad you called.
458
00:28:39,380 --> 00:28:40,860
Yeah, yeah, so am I.
459
00:28:44,740 --> 00:28:47,020
Jamie, it seems, is seeing someone.
460
00:28:47,021 --> 00:28:48,819
Sneaky little bastard.
461
00:28:48,820 --> 00:28:51,420
So I am taking action
in the form of this guy.
462
00:28:51,421 --> 00:28:52,619
Oh, nice.
463
00:28:52,620 --> 00:28:54,019
I have a date.
464
00:28:54,020 --> 00:28:55,419
Really?
465
00:28:55,420 --> 00:28:57,220
With a man.
466
00:28:57,270 --> 00:29:01,820
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