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1
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(Tone playing)
2
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Man: Now.
3
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This is my comeback.
4
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All right, I'm good. Let
me take that again. Okay.
5
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- This is my comeback.
- Valerie: Guys?
6
00:00:21,384 --> 00:00:23,359
I've got to have a camera on me. Okay?
7
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No, not that one. No.
8
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Got to have the one
with the... yeah, but...
9
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You know, why don't you two switch? Okay?
10
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Tyler, you take the one
with the... Just switch.
11
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- Yeah.
- Tyler: Dude, she...
12
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- Back off.
- She... just give it to me.
13
00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:38,729
- Valerie: Yeah.
- Take the camera, take the camera.
14
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Okay, Jesus. Okay?
15
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- 'Cause, you know...
- Take this camera.
16
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Can't make a pilot presentation if
I'm not on camera presenting it. Right?
17
00:00:45,059 --> 00:00:47,151
- (Chuckles)
- That's okay. It's the first day.
18
00:00:47,151 --> 00:00:49,824
You'll get it. I'm not worried about you.
19
00:00:49,905 --> 00:00:52,313
All right. See that,
Mickey? See the difference?
20
00:00:52,418 --> 00:00:53,603
- Oh.
- Feel that?
21
00:00:53,675 --> 00:00:55,906
- Mm. Gorgeous, Red.
- Yeah, yeah.
22
00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:58,979
Okay. Good. So, um, yeah.
23
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:02,130
I can use that part. "And
this is my comeback." You know?
24
00:01:02,155 --> 00:01:06,129
But I don't want to use the part where
I'm looking off camera, talking to someone.
25
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I don't know why I did that.
You know, lesson learned.
26
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,775
And can you also lose that piercing sound?
27
00:01:12,913 --> 00:01:15,256
- They don't even use that sound anymore.
- Okay.
28
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- When is this from?
- Uh, about 10 years ago.
29
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- Jesus.
- Well, it's not that long.
30
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It's just technology moves so fast.
31
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I was nine.
32
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Okay. Guys, no talking.
33
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That's the bummer.
34
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Okay. So, let's pick us some clips.
35
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Show the people what I've been up to. Huh?
36
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Here's this.
37
00:01:35,901 --> 00:01:38,177
(Birds chirping)
38
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Mickey: What is this, Red? A home movie?
39
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,016
(Eerie music playing)
40
00:01:42,146 --> 00:01:45,224
(Screaming)
41
00:01:50,033 --> 00:01:52,602
Oh, no. That's that, uh,
independent film I did.
42
00:01:53,736 --> 00:01:57,130
- Oh, right. With those cute college kids.
- Yeah.
43
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Well, they were in film school.
44
00:01:59,834 --> 00:02:02,418
You know? So it's an independent film.
45
00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:04,463
In film school, Mickey. You know,
46
00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:06,375
like our crew here. Got to start somewhere.
47
00:02:06,463 --> 00:02:08,277
Here. This is too high. Here.
48
00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:10,454
Mickey: Well, you were so good, Red.
49
00:02:10,551 --> 00:02:11,828
- Valerie: Hmm?
- Mickey: Scary.
50
00:02:11,885 --> 00:02:14,572
(Sobbing) Well, half
the blood was in my eye.
51
00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:16,749
- So I was screaming in pain there.
- (Laughs)
52
00:02:16,783 --> 00:02:18,573
Editor: Here's this one.
53
00:02:18,748 --> 00:02:21,845
Oh, yeah. Oh, this is a good one.
54
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,290
- Yeah.
- Mickey: Oh.
55
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:26,306
What are you saying?
56
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:30,190
I'm saying...
57
00:02:32,094 --> 00:02:34,006
It's not a suicide, Pal-y.
58
00:02:34,334 --> 00:02:38,999
Yeah, yeah, that was fun. I liked
that. I liked doing that show.
59
00:02:39,088 --> 00:02:42,128
The writers let me play. I added "Pal-y."
60
00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:43,960
Detective: What are we
going to do with you?
61
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,273
Looks like you've got to cancel
your plans for tonight, huh?
62
00:02:47,377 --> 00:02:50,194
- Yeah.
- Mickey: I'm surprised we didn't get a re-occur.
63
00:02:50,219 --> 00:02:51,802
Yeah, me too. Yeah.
64
00:02:51,858 --> 00:02:53,913
- And she's here to talk to us about...
- Mickey: Good craft service.
65
00:02:53,913 --> 00:02:55,826
- Valerie: Was it?
- Mickey: Great chili.
66
00:02:55,914 --> 00:03:00,287
- Mickey, we've moved on.
- Oh, yes, we have, and it's a goodie.
67
00:03:00,287 --> 00:03:01,925
- Yeah.
- Our infomercial.
68
00:03:01,925 --> 00:03:04,195
- That's right.
- I'm here with Valerie Cherish,
69
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:07,179
who has developed a brand-new
hair-care line just for redheads.
70
00:03:07,285 --> 00:03:09,754
So, Valerie, can you please
tell us a little bit about that?
71
00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:11,597
"Cherish Your Hair" is a product
72
00:03:11,645 --> 00:03:14,116
I've wanted to make for
a very, very long time.
73
00:03:14,213 --> 00:03:15,028
Valerie: Hmm.
74
00:03:15,085 --> 00:03:16,589
Female host: Well, as a television star
75
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,917
and an actress, your
hair goes through a lot.
76
00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:21,252
It sure does. And it
needs a lot of protection.
77
00:03:21,357 --> 00:03:24,948
That's why we developed "Cherish
Your Hair," hair care for redheads.
78
00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:27,684
Because why should blondes and
brunettes get all the attention?
79
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:30,352
- (Host laughs)
- And red can be a very harsh
80
00:03:30,399 --> 00:03:32,271
color treatment for your hair, am I right?
81
00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:33,879
Valerie: You sure are. Yeah.
82
00:03:33,904 --> 00:03:35,701
I'm going to let my
hairdresser, Mickey Deane,
83
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,077
tell you a little more about that. Can you?
84
00:03:38,141 --> 00:03:39,893
Mickey on recording: I certainly can.
85
00:03:39,981 --> 00:03:43,212
Redheads always need
a little extra "T.L.C."
86
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,780
That's "Tender Loving Cherish."
87
00:03:45,901 --> 00:03:48,028
(Host laughs) And this product can actually
88
00:03:48,124 --> 00:03:50,729
- improve the texture of your hair.
- That's right, Joan.
89
00:03:50,826 --> 00:03:54,226
And it's because of a special
ingredient in "Cherish Your Hair."
90
00:03:54,306 --> 00:03:55,481
Can you tell us about that?
91
00:03:55,594 --> 00:03:57,090
Yes, I can, Jean.
92
00:03:57,218 --> 00:04:00,530
It's all about a special
cantaloupe in France
93
00:04:00,642 --> 00:04:03,929
that holds the moisture in
due to something in the seed.
94
00:04:04,018 --> 00:04:04,929
Very nice.
95
00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:06,529
You know what? This is all good.
96
00:04:06,618 --> 00:04:09,130
It's all good. I like it because
it shows me as an entrepreneur.
97
00:04:09,211 --> 00:04:11,991
You know? Like that Bethenny Frankel.
98
00:04:12,111 --> 00:04:15,687
Right? The, uh, Margarita
gal. Skinny Margarita gal.
99
00:04:15,782 --> 00:04:16,942
That's what it's called.
100
00:04:18,254 --> 00:04:21,262
Narrator: To join the "Cherish
Your Hair" hair care family,
101
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:24,016
- call 1-800-Cherish right now.
- Yeah. If this goes,
102
00:04:24,016 --> 00:04:26,466
that product will move. You know?
103
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,484
We still have more of the color, right?
104
00:04:28,509 --> 00:04:30,948
Oh, we've got a whole warehouse
full. Can't give it away.
105
00:04:31,045 --> 00:04:33,228
Narrator: We'll send you
this free cantaloupe scoop.
106
00:04:33,332 --> 00:04:34,404
We're ready to fill orders.
107
00:04:34,468 --> 00:04:37,951
- Valerie: What else have we got?
- Editor: Here's another.
108
00:04:38,332 --> 00:04:39,794
Valerie: Oh, this is "The Comeback."
109
00:04:39,914 --> 00:04:43,502
- "All right, all right, all right!"
- (Mickey laughs)
110
00:04:43,527 --> 00:04:44,960
(Laughs) That's my Matthew McConaughey.
111
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,642
- Editor: Aw.
- Right?
112
00:04:46,642 --> 00:04:47,716
He likes it.
113
00:04:47,804 --> 00:04:51,269
- Actor: Just open my shirt.
- (Audience laughs)
114
00:04:51,389 --> 00:04:53,117
Audience: Ooh!
115
00:04:53,221 --> 00:04:55,564
Note to self:
116
00:04:55,669 --> 00:04:57,316
I don't need to see that.
117
00:04:57,453 --> 00:04:59,709
(Laughing)
118
00:04:59,796 --> 00:05:02,372
"Room and Bored" is still funny.
119
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,960
- Mm.
- Even in that track suit.
120
00:05:04,048 --> 00:05:06,737
Yeah, well, you know what?
That's the work, okay?
121
00:05:06,809 --> 00:05:09,144
Doesn't always go your way, but
you have to make the best of it.
122
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:10,528
- Audience: Ooh!
- Right?
123
00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:14,159
You guys are so cute, but
I'm going to have to hide you.
124
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,480
Oh, you know what? You should back it up,
125
00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:19,080
because the front of the
scene we have Juna and Chris,
126
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,873
and Andy should see that, because
they're such big stars now.
127
00:05:22,045 --> 00:05:23,510
- That will be good.
- Audience: Ooh!
128
00:05:23,510 --> 00:05:25,807
Valerie: Oh, there he is. Stop. Yeah.
129
00:05:25,807 --> 00:05:27,108
Mickey: Who would have imagined it?
130
00:05:27,163 --> 00:05:29,730
What? Well, I did.
131
00:05:29,835 --> 00:05:33,133
I always saw Juna had
something really special.
132
00:05:33,219 --> 00:05:35,745
So, you know. And Chris? He had that...
133
00:05:35,776 --> 00:05:37,037
What? Steroids?
134
00:05:37,126 --> 00:05:39,969
Well, might not want to accuse people
135
00:05:40,054 --> 00:05:41,742
of illegal drugs on tape, Mickey.
136
00:05:41,822 --> 00:05:44,950
You know what? That's all
right. My show, I can cut it.
137
00:05:45,039 --> 00:05:47,228
- Mark: Val.
- Yeah?
138
00:05:47,323 --> 00:05:50,310
- Mark: My flight got in early.
- Okay. I'm in here.
139
00:05:51,412 --> 00:05:53,135
Oh. Hello.
140
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:54,957
- (Laughs) Hey, Mick.
- What's all this?
141
00:05:54,957 --> 00:05:56,337
You doing another student film?
142
00:05:56,385 --> 00:05:57,680
Oh no, Mark, I told you;
143
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,856
never again after the last seven. Right?
144
00:05:59,919 --> 00:06:01,990
- Oh. (Laughs)
- You didn't get him when he came in.
145
00:06:02,037 --> 00:06:05,355
You know? That's important.
Missed an opportunity. That's all.
146
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:08,030
- Tyler: I'll do it, dude.
- I don't know. Tyler, no, you stay on me.
147
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,191
- Yeah.
- Mark: Oh, is that Tyler over there?
148
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,726
- Yeah.
- God, I can't see anything
149
00:06:11,726 --> 00:06:14,294
- with that bright light.
- Yeah. I don't know how you do it, Val.
150
00:06:14,294 --> 00:06:15,597
- Well...
- Tyler: Hey, Uncle Mark.
151
00:06:15,622 --> 00:06:17,716
Hey. Hey, you know, uh, call your mother.
152
00:06:17,819 --> 00:06:19,611
She hasn't heard from you in over a week.
153
00:06:19,636 --> 00:06:23,136
- Valerie: Okay. Mark, don't do that.
- Well, she calls me crying.
154
00:06:23,231 --> 00:06:26,269
I know, but, um, don't embarrass
him in front of the rest of the crew.
155
00:06:26,269 --> 00:06:29,363
Right? Because we're trying to be
professional. He's in film school.
156
00:06:29,363 --> 00:06:30,793
Tyler: I'm not in film school.
157
00:06:32,196 --> 00:06:34,819
No? I thought... but
don't you go to USC, right?
158
00:06:34,844 --> 00:06:37,362
- You're a film major?
- No. Urban Planning.
159
00:06:37,449 --> 00:06:39,585
Okay.
160
00:06:41,162 --> 00:06:43,671
Didn't Delia say... I thought
your sister said that he
161
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:46,210
- wanted a career in show business though.
- Yeah, I... Well
162
00:06:46,609 --> 00:06:47,624
Tyler: Okay.
163
00:06:48,078 --> 00:06:51,194
- Okay?
- (Sputters)
164
00:06:51,219 --> 00:06:53,397
All right. Well, I'm
going to go to the gym.
165
00:06:53,397 --> 00:06:56,043
- Wish I could join you.
- (Laughs) Right.
166
00:06:57,894 --> 00:07:00,025
- Oh, Mark? Marky?
- Mark: Yeah?
167
00:07:00,025 --> 00:07:01,436
- What do you want for dinner?
- Tyler: Dude, watch out.
168
00:07:01,436 --> 00:07:02,403
Ooh.
169
00:07:02,403 --> 00:07:04,656
Are any of you in film school? (Laughs)
170
00:07:04,656 --> 00:07:05,787
- Oh, come on, Val.
- At all?
171
00:07:05,787 --> 00:07:08,020
What does it matter? Anybody
can use a camera now. Well...
172
00:07:08,075 --> 00:07:09,386
All right, well... Can they?
173
00:07:09,411 --> 00:07:12,739
I just really want it to
look professional. You know?
174
00:07:12,739 --> 00:07:14,565
Because I'm going to
give this to Andy Cohen.
175
00:07:14,565 --> 00:07:17,486
- Oh. Is that what this is for?
- Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah.
176
00:07:17,486 --> 00:07:18,893
We've been communicating. You know? So...
177
00:07:18,893 --> 00:07:20,695
Wait, wait. Who is...
who is Andy Cohen again?
178
00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:23,793
Uh... okay.
179
00:07:23,793 --> 00:07:24,912
(Laughs) Who is Andy Cohen?
180
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,609
Um, he's the bravo guy.
181
00:07:26,703 --> 00:07:29,431
- You know, the one who...
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
182
00:07:29,431 --> 00:07:30,886
- The, um, the "Housewives" guy.
- That's right.
183
00:07:30,886 --> 00:07:33,524
- Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah. Very good. (Laughs)
184
00:07:33,524 --> 00:07:35,068
Yeah. So, we've been communicating
185
00:07:35,132 --> 00:07:35,940
because I wrote...
186
00:07:36,030 --> 00:07:40,188
We've been communicating because
I wrote, um, "funny tweet, Andy."
187
00:07:40,284 --> 00:07:41,733
And he wrote back, "thanks, Val."
188
00:07:43,521 --> 00:07:45,064
So, yeah.
189
00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:47,088
And then... And then I wrote, um...
190
00:07:48,004 --> 00:07:49,527
"Wait till you see what I'm up to."
191
00:07:50,729 --> 00:07:53,994
So this is what I'm up to. Okay?
Except no one's going to see it
192
00:07:53,994 --> 00:07:57,714
if you don't get people when
they're entering a room. You know?
193
00:07:57,827 --> 00:07:59,578
It's important. But
that's... You know what?
194
00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:01,242
That's why we're practicing today.
195
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:03,831
All right, well, have fun. All right?
196
00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:05,165
Okay. Oh, Tyler,
197
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:07,773
call, um, you know who.
198
00:08:07,853 --> 00:08:10,005
Sorry.
199
00:08:10,109 --> 00:08:12,717
But you know what? Keeps me grounded.
200
00:08:12,820 --> 00:08:16,845
You know? Okay. What's next on the agenda?
201
00:08:16,933 --> 00:08:18,002
Editor: I've got to go to the bathroom.
202
00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:21,852
Okay. So... Well, really?
203
00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:24,632
- Okay.
- Valerie on recording: Sorry I'm late, Doll.
204
00:08:24,632 --> 00:08:27,835
Oh, I... I can't show this. I'm
not supposed to have this footage.
205
00:08:27,835 --> 00:08:28,527
So.
206
00:08:29,821 --> 00:08:31,881
Oh, well, I've already
got you a glass of wine.
207
00:08:31,937 --> 00:08:33,712
Ah, well, I'm not going to drink.
208
00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:35,800
It's the middle of the day. (Laughs)
209
00:08:37,311 --> 00:08:38,314
Waiter?
210
00:08:38,422 --> 00:08:40,383
I should... I can't... I can't show this.
211
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:43,558
I can't show it. Um, how do I turn it off?
212
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:46,558
Do you know what... (Sighs)
I'm afraid to push a button.
213
00:08:46,655 --> 00:08:48,461
I don't want to delete
anything. Do you guys know?
214
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:51,217
Do you know what... To do? You don't. Okay.
215
00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:52,457
Woman: Waiter.
216
00:08:53,346 --> 00:08:55,467
Can you take that? I don't want to...
217
00:08:55,556 --> 00:08:57,467
Lisa: So, talk to me.
218
00:08:57,563 --> 00:08:58,844
Maybe we can work this
whole tabloid thing out.
219
00:08:58,844 --> 00:09:00,406
Just wait.
220
00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:04,016
Um, well, I don't know
what there is to work out,
221
00:09:04,016 --> 00:09:07,584
because I don't put stories about
you and your family in the tabloids.
222
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,407
You know? You know I didn't. So...
223
00:09:10,407 --> 00:09:13,850
Well, mostly, I was hurt.
I mean, you really hurt me.
224
00:09:14,017 --> 00:09:16,537
I've always been very
kind and supportive to you
225
00:09:16,633 --> 00:09:18,272
with all your marriage
problems. Let's be honest.
226
00:09:18,272 --> 00:09:20,316
- Valerie: Okay, well, you know...
- Oh.
227
00:09:20,316 --> 00:09:22,180
- I'm...
- (Lisa laughs)
228
00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:23,704
Let's not...
229
00:09:24,749 --> 00:09:26,965
You heard me say that
I didn't do it, right?
230
00:09:27,037 --> 00:09:30,228
Okay, so it's got to be someone.
It was either you or Kyle.
231
00:09:30,228 --> 00:09:32,675
- Was it Kyle?
- Well, I don't... I don't... you know?
232
00:09:32,748 --> 00:09:34,870
Okay. You know, I see
what's happening here. Okay?
233
00:09:34,870 --> 00:09:36,422
You're trying to... You've got an agenda.
234
00:09:36,519 --> 00:09:39,989
I get it. You've got an agenda and
you're trying to make me the bad guy.
235
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:42,191
But I'm just not going
to let you do it. Okay?
236
00:09:42,191 --> 00:09:45,195
- (Laughs)
- Okay, so how are we going to do this
237
00:09:45,195 --> 00:09:46,862
- if she keeps talking to you? Huh?
- Well...
238
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:47,989
- Producer: Valerie, again...
- Yeah.
239
00:09:48,052 --> 00:09:50,085
Please don't reference the camera or me.
240
00:09:50,141 --> 00:09:52,604
This is a waste of time. I'm
going to see if... you know.
241
00:09:52,645 --> 00:09:56,052
Lisa: Oh for God's sake. Okay,
now will you call Camille Grammer?
242
00:09:56,052 --> 00:09:57,052
- I mean, she would never...
- (Knocks) Shit.
243
00:09:57,052 --> 00:09:59,031
What's his name? What's his name?
244
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:00,263
- Mickey: Um, um, um, um...
- I forgot.
245
00:10:00,263 --> 00:10:03,190
- Mickey: Ivan. I-Ivan.
- Ivan? Is it?
246
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:05,206
- I think. I think. I think it's Ivan.
- Iger?
247
00:10:05,206 --> 00:10:06,370
Ivan. Okay. It's Russian.
248
00:10:07,082 --> 00:10:09,822
(Knocks) Um... Ivan?
249
00:10:09,822 --> 00:10:12,759
- Ivan: Yeah?
- Yeah. So, um, how do I stop that?
250
00:10:12,759 --> 00:10:14,775
- How do I... to stop it?
- What?
251
00:10:14,775 --> 00:10:16,529
The picture... I want to stop it.
252
00:10:16,609 --> 00:10:19,670
- (Water flowing)
- Okay, he's coming out. That's okay.
253
00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:21,668
So, you know what?
Careful. He's coming out.
254
00:10:21,668 --> 00:10:23,603
So, he'll stop it.
255
00:10:23,603 --> 00:10:25,414
Valerie on recording: I...
you know what? I can't do it.
256
00:10:25,439 --> 00:10:26,875
- I'm sorry. I don't know.
- We'll be done, right?
257
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:28,678
- Well.
- Because he's... he'll come out.
258
00:10:28,678 --> 00:10:31,035
Oh, this is rough. This was so rough.
259
00:10:31,116 --> 00:10:34,437
Well, let's not... if we
don't make it more interesting.
260
00:10:34,469 --> 00:10:36,357
Valerie on recording: And you know
what else? I don't talk about people...
261
00:10:36,357 --> 00:10:38,280
I'm going to cut all... It's up to me.
262
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:39,127
Okay? I'm a good person.
263
00:10:39,127 --> 00:10:41,083
- I'm not going to show it.
- (Lisa and Valerie arguing)
264
00:10:41,083 --> 00:10:43,182
Lisa: Nobody is trying to
make you the villain here.
265
00:10:43,182 --> 00:10:45,901
- Okay?
- Trying to make me talk about people,
266
00:10:45,901 --> 00:10:47,264
- and I don't know things.
- No.
267
00:10:47,344 --> 00:10:50,079
I can't say things that I
don't know! I can't do it!
268
00:10:50,154 --> 00:10:52,095
- Oh, for God's sake.
- Well, I can't, okay?
269
00:10:52,095 --> 00:10:55,112
I've done this before. They are
trying to make me the villain.
270
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,452
- Mm-mm.
- All right? Well, they say they're not.
271
00:10:57,452 --> 00:10:59,139
- Right.
- They say they're not. And then...
272
00:10:59,139 --> 00:11:02,572
They're not! You don't
know what's coming later.
273
00:11:02,572 --> 00:11:05,420
All right? Because I've done this before,
and this should be a warning to you.
274
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:08,710
All right? I'm not putting
myself through this again.
275
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,253
Not for this show, anyway.
Okay? Because it's real...
276
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:14,372
To be Frank, it's not "Housewives
of New York." All right?
277
00:11:14,372 --> 00:11:16,650
- This isn't going to last. I'm sorry.
- Oh, really?
278
00:11:16,650 --> 00:11:18,724
But it's not. "Housewives
of Beverly Hills"?
279
00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:20,167
Not one of us even lives in Beverly Hills.
280
00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:21,742
Oh yeah, I... I do, I do.
281
00:11:21,742 --> 00:11:24,159
- Okay.
- Okay. One person lives in Beverly Hills.
282
00:11:24,159 --> 00:11:25,944
- Oh, for God's sake.
- You've got a show. Great.
283
00:11:25,944 --> 00:11:29,627
You know what? I can't. I...
I... Andy, I'm sorry, but I quit.
284
00:11:29,627 --> 00:11:31,877
- Oh, thank God for that.
- Yeah. Yeah, I quit. Wait.
285
00:11:31,877 --> 00:11:34,062
Just for the record though,
Andy, for the record,
286
00:11:34,062 --> 00:11:36,102
I'm not storming off. All right?
287
00:11:36,102 --> 00:11:38,880
It's just that I've, you know,
done a reality show before.
288
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,475
So, I know how it goes.
I know how it works.
289
00:11:41,475 --> 00:11:44,122
So, thought I was up for it. But I'm not.
290
00:11:44,122 --> 00:11:48,367
So, I'm sorry. But
goodbye. Good luck, okay?
291
00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:49,507
- Good luck.
- Yeah, fine. Okay.
292
00:11:49,507 --> 00:11:51,108
If this is what you wanna
do, then I'm happy for you.
293
00:11:51,108 --> 00:11:52,399
- I'm happy for all of you.
- Okay.
294
00:11:52,399 --> 00:11:55,368
- Well... Yeah. Okay.
- Good luck.
295
00:11:55,368 --> 00:11:56,711
Lisa: Call Camille.
296
00:11:57,982 --> 00:12:01,051
Yeah. Andy doesn't need
to see that. (Laughs)
297
00:12:01,051 --> 00:12:03,211
- No, he doesn't.
- No.
298
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:07,519
Well, reality TV has
had quite the evolution.
299
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,737
It's a different reality. (Laughs)
300
00:12:09,738 --> 00:12:12,323
And I should know, because
I was there at the beginning,
301
00:12:12,324 --> 00:12:14,325
with "The Comeback."
302
00:12:14,326 --> 00:12:18,112
Back then, it was just me and
people eating bugs on "Survivor."
303
00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:20,915
"Uh, what's this? This is entertainment?"
304
00:12:20,916 --> 00:12:24,035
Well, as it turns out, yes. Yes, it is.
305
00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:25,787
I was right.
306
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:28,039
And now, people can't get enough.
307
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,209
You've got dancers, and duck hunters,
308
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:33,377
and designers, and...
309
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:36,882
Oh, just the other night I saw a
show where it was just real people
310
00:12:36,883 --> 00:12:39,217
sitting on a couch watching a show.
311
00:12:39,218 --> 00:12:42,221
And I thought, "well, it's
official, they've run out of ideas.
312
00:12:42,222 --> 00:12:45,723
"So, looks like it's
time for me to come back."
313
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,562
I'm not just a real person either.
314
00:12:50,563 --> 00:12:52,814
- I'm an actress.
- (Melody playing softly)
315
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:55,233
And a wife.
316
00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:57,451
And a stepmom. Can you hear that?
317
00:12:57,452 --> 00:12:59,905
- That's you.
- Oh. Sorry, Red!
318
00:12:59,906 --> 00:13:03,074
Mm-hmm. I thought I had
it on vibrate. Mea culpa.
319
00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:05,710
- That's okay.
- Oh, I should take this.
320
00:13:05,711 --> 00:13:08,546
- It's Dr. "hard to get a hold of."
- Okay, yeah, you do that.
321
00:13:08,547 --> 00:13:12,251
- We'll continue.
- Gave them four times to call,
322
00:13:12,252 --> 00:13:15,419
and this afternoon wasn't
one of them. Jesus criminy.
323
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,923
- Well, you're going to miss your call.
- Mm. Well...
324
00:13:17,924 --> 00:13:20,324
- Okay.
- Hello?
325
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:24,930
In five... I'm cueing you. Okay?
326
00:13:24,931 --> 00:13:27,266
In five, four, three...
327
00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:29,600
Mickey: Yes, it is, but I can't talk now.
328
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:32,153
Mickey, we can hear you.
329
00:13:32,154 --> 00:13:35,274
Okay. In five, four, three, two...
330
00:13:35,275 --> 00:13:37,609
- What's...
- Mickey: I'm working, Doctor.
331
00:13:37,610 --> 00:13:40,494
I gave your office four times to call me,
332
00:13:40,495 --> 00:13:42,948
- and this wasn't one of them.
- Can you hear that?
333
00:13:42,949 --> 00:13:45,116
Because I can. Mickey,
we can still hear you.
334
00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:47,335
- Got it.
- Okay. (Valerie laughs)
335
00:13:47,336 --> 00:13:49,453
- Let me guess, doctor.
- Okay.
336
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:52,757
In five, four, three, two...
337
00:13:52,758 --> 00:13:55,509
- (Phone chiming)
- Okay. Phones off, everybody!
338
00:13:55,510 --> 00:13:57,762
Okay? Because we can't...
339
00:13:57,763 --> 00:14:00,631
oh, that's my phone. All
right. We should stop.
340
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,850
Oh, okay. That's Billy.
341
00:14:02,851 --> 00:14:05,469
Tyler, you go outside and shoot me.
342
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,639
Don't get this camera though.
Okay, that's good. You got it? Okay.
343
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,108
Valerie: Hi, Billy. Publicist.
344
00:14:11,109 --> 00:14:13,478
Oh, wait, that sounded like his
last name. Let's do it again.
345
00:14:13,479 --> 00:14:16,230
- Hi, Billy. My publicist.
- Oh, is this the Andy Cohen pitch?
346
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:17,983
Oh, yeah. Yeah. We've been communicating.
347
00:14:17,984 --> 00:14:19,400
- (Billy whispers)
- Oh, good.
348
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:20,986
Yeah. Mickey, say hi to Billy.
349
00:14:20,987 --> 00:14:23,955
- Hot enough for you?
- (Valerie laughing)
350
00:14:23,956 --> 00:14:25,907
Mm-hmm.
351
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,648
You want to come inside, doll?
352
00:14:27,648 --> 00:14:28,993
- I've got a great lighting set-up.
- Billy: No.
353
00:14:28,994 --> 00:14:31,295
I can't stay. Oh, uh, say hi to Carla.
354
00:14:31,296 --> 00:14:32,997
Carla.
355
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:35,167
- Hootie-hoo!
- Valerie: Hi, doll.
356
00:14:35,168 --> 00:14:36,968
That sounds familiar. Who is that?
357
00:14:36,969 --> 00:14:38,669
Carla from "Top Chef." I represent her now.
358
00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:41,088
- Oh, you do.
- Yeah. She's in town for the "Top Chef:
359
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,807
Super chef all-star" reunion show.
360
00:14:42,808 --> 00:14:45,226
- Wow.
- Oh, you know what? If this goes...
361
00:14:45,227 --> 00:14:47,000
- Uh-huh.
- She could cook you dinner.
362
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,430
- Bravo to bravo? Little cross-promotion?
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
363
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:52,066
Good night, Mr. Mickey.
Good night, Ms. Valerie.
364
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:53,818
Good night, dear. See you tomorrow.
365
00:14:53,819 --> 00:14:56,188
Billy: Goodbye. Thank you for all you do.
366
00:14:56,189 --> 00:14:59,191
Um, is that why you came
all the way out here, though?
367
00:14:59,192 --> 00:15:00,942
- Just so I could say hi to the chef?
- No. No, no.
368
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:03,577
Did you see this about Paulie G. and you?
369
00:15:03,578 --> 00:15:06,864
- What?
- Look. "HBO is making a series
370
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,701
with Paulie G. about a
self-destructive sitcom writer..."
371
00:15:09,702 --> 00:15:11,203
Oh. Sounds right so far.
372
00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:15,506
"...and his relationship with
a neurotic older sitcom actress."
373
00:15:15,507 --> 00:15:19,260
Well, okay. Wish him... that's
fine. You know, wish him well.
374
00:15:19,261 --> 00:15:21,380
She has red hair.
375
00:15:21,381 --> 00:15:23,464
Still. Wish him well.
376
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,851
The character's name is
Mallory. Your name is Valerie.
377
00:15:26,852 --> 00:15:28,720
Uh-huh. Sounds the same. Might be me.
378
00:15:28,721 --> 00:15:30,304
What do you want me to do about it?
379
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,722
I'm just trying to give you a heads-up.
380
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,975
- Okay, my head's up.
- (Billy sighs)
381
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,143
Oh, I've got to go. I've got to run.
382
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,779
But, you know, call your agent,
try to get a copy of the script.
383
00:15:38,780 --> 00:15:40,314
We've got to see what this damage is.
384
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,734
Okay, Billy, I appreciate you
coming all the way out here.
385
00:15:42,735 --> 00:15:45,237
I really do. But I've moved on.
386
00:15:45,238 --> 00:15:49,073
Paulie's in the past. He's free to
write whatever he wants to write,
387
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:51,659
and I'm free to not react.
388
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,910
Okay. You know?
389
00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:55,080
Yeah. It's okay. All right.
390
00:15:55,081 --> 00:15:57,581
(Sighs) Valerie: Nice to see you, Carla!
391
00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,718
Looking forward to...
392
00:16:00,719 --> 00:16:03,421
she's busy. Okay, come on in.
393
00:16:03,422 --> 00:16:05,840
Ethan Biggs, please.
394
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,976
Well, you have to have an
Ethan Biggs. That's my agent.
395
00:16:08,977 --> 00:16:11,345
(Laughs) Oh no, you... my bad.
396
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,931
You're right. Uh, he's
not there anymore. Okay.
397
00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:17,318
Um, what was his assistant's name?
Because she'd be my agent now.
398
00:16:17,319 --> 00:16:19,687
Sasha. Do you have a Sasha someone?
399
00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:23,407
You have three Sashas.
Okay, let's try it this way.
400
00:16:23,408 --> 00:16:25,776
I'm Valerie Cherish. Who's my agent?
401
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,446
- Big agencies.
- Ivan: I can find it.
402
00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:30,031
- My agent?
- The script.
403
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,666
Oh, better. Okay. How
are you going to do that?
404
00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:35,252
- Everything's online.
- That's right.
405
00:16:35,253 --> 00:16:36,955
Privacy is gone. Yeah.
406
00:16:36,956 --> 00:16:39,173
Valerie: Okay. You know
what? I've found what I need.
407
00:16:39,174 --> 00:16:41,709
So, uh, can you just have my agent call me?
408
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,594
Well, whatever his name is. You know what?
409
00:16:43,595 --> 00:16:46,180
Why don't we wait five minutes,
maybe you'll be my agent?
410
00:16:46,181 --> 00:16:48,966
Ah. You're welcome.
411
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:50,969
Mickey: Will you look at this, Red? Huh?
412
00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:54,388
Paulie G... Rehab. Click on that.
413
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,807
Yeah. Let's...
414
00:16:55,808 --> 00:16:58,442
"Twice in rehab for heroin." (Gasps)
415
00:16:58,443 --> 00:17:02,814
Oh my. The pot I knew. I
had no idea about the horse.
416
00:17:02,815 --> 00:17:05,366
- (Laughing)
- Valerie: Guys.
417
00:17:05,367 --> 00:17:08,452
Guys, addiction, it's not funny.
418
00:17:08,453 --> 00:17:11,288
Okay. So, is that the...
Can you get the script then?
419
00:17:11,289 --> 00:17:12,623
Oh, is that it?
420
00:17:12,624 --> 00:17:15,659
Mickey: "Seeing Red"? How dare he!
421
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,745
Valerie: All right,
let's just print it out.
422
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,999
It's me. This is me.
423
00:17:23,635 --> 00:17:26,670
(Sighs) Is this the apartment
we decided on for Francesca?
424
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:29,841
- Val?
- Huh? What?
425
00:17:29,842 --> 00:17:32,143
Um, what are the HOAS?
426
00:17:32,144 --> 00:17:34,562
- I mean, it's...
- Oh. Yeah, that's the...
427
00:17:34,563 --> 00:17:38,315
- Yeah.
- Jesus. 1.3?
428
00:17:38,316 --> 00:17:40,217
New York.
429
00:17:40,218 --> 00:17:43,187
Why couldn't she study
fashion in California?
430
00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,106
Okay. This is me, Mark. It's me.
431
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:47,408
It's a horrible version of me, but it's me.
432
00:17:47,409 --> 00:17:50,161
(Sighs) You said you weren't
going to let this bother you.
433
00:17:50,162 --> 00:17:52,446
Yeah, but now I'm reading
it and it's me. Okay?
434
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,281
And he's written me as a monster.
435
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:57,368
- What did you expect? He's a cocksucker.
- He is a cocksucker!
436
00:17:59,504 --> 00:18:04,291
Mark. We can't say
"cocksucker" because I had Tyler
437
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:06,844
put back the ceiling cam.
438
00:18:06,845 --> 00:18:09,263
- Val.
- What?
439
00:18:09,264 --> 00:18:11,215
You know what? Don't... don't worry.
440
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:15,186
My show. My decision. Okay. Don't use this.
441
00:18:19,274 --> 00:18:21,726
God.
442
00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:24,311
He must have been on heroin the entire time
443
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,981
- we were shooting "Room and Bored."
- Well, no wonder it sucked.
444
00:18:26,982 --> 00:18:29,283
Yes, it sucked, and that's
why it didn't get picked up.
445
00:18:29,284 --> 00:18:32,237
So then, it doesn't get picked up and
"The Comeback" doesn't get picked up.
446
00:18:32,238 --> 00:18:34,989
So thank you for that, Paulie G.
447
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,740
God. And now this?
448
00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:40,294
That's not... no. No. Not going to have it.
449
00:18:40,295 --> 00:18:42,213
I'm just not. What can we do?
450
00:18:42,214 --> 00:18:44,381
Well, how bad is it? Does
he... does he use your name?
451
00:18:44,382 --> 00:18:47,384
Well, okay. Her name's
Mallory, Mallory Church.
452
00:18:47,385 --> 00:18:49,854
And my name's Valerie. Valerie Cherish.
453
00:18:49,855 --> 00:18:52,339
All right. Well, that is
too close. You know what?
454
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,008
I'm going to call the
lawyers in the morning.
455
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:56,393
Okay. Oh, good. Yeah. Call the lawyers.
456
00:18:56,394 --> 00:18:59,264
That's right. Let them handle it.
I'm not going to lose sleep over this.
457
00:18:59,265 --> 00:19:02,783
Nuh-uh. Because that's not me.
458
00:19:02,784 --> 00:19:05,686
You know? Not me.
459
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:13,244
My hero. Marky Mark.
460
00:19:13,245 --> 00:19:15,496
- Love ball.
- Mm.
461
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,950
Mm, Mark, the camera.
462
00:19:18,951 --> 00:19:20,918
We probably don't want to...
463
00:19:20,919 --> 00:19:22,621
Oh, all right. I'll take care of it.
464
00:19:22,622 --> 00:19:24,338
Hmm? Oh.
465
00:19:24,339 --> 00:19:27,875
- No. Not this. Oh.
- (Laughs)
466
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:30,211
- Ivan: I like this place.
- Tyler: Yeah, this place is awesome.
467
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,379
Mickey: This is all about "Room and Bored,"
468
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,131
but he's made you the bad guy.
469
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:37,935
The aforementioned "red" he's talking
about is you. You're the bad guy.
470
00:19:37,936 --> 00:19:40,854
Yeah, no, I know. Waiting
for a call from the lawyers.
471
00:19:40,855 --> 00:19:42,974
Let them handle it. Yeah.
472
00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:44,808
Welcome to Sam's burgers.
473
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:47,616
Yeah. Okay, yeah. Tyler, what are
you... What are you going to...
474
00:19:47,623 --> 00:19:49,372
I want the Pork Cutlet Curry.
475
00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:51,782
Curry? We're at a drive-thru burger place.
476
00:19:51,783 --> 00:19:53,867
One pork cutlet curry.
477
00:19:53,868 --> 00:19:58,205
- Okay. So they do have that.
- Ivan: I'll have the Bento Box and fries.
478
00:19:58,206 --> 00:20:01,709
- Really? "Small world" after all, huh?
- (Laughs)
479
00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:05,796
- And a Philly Cheesesteak?
- You don't want any foie gras with that, or...
480
00:20:05,797 --> 00:20:08,082
- It's a joke.
- Mickey: So his character's writing a sitcom
481
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:11,169
- hooked on heroin, but you're the problem with his career.
- Yeah.
482
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:13,804
Is this supposed to be funny?
483
00:20:13,805 --> 00:20:15,389
Well, it's a... It's a dramedy.
484
00:20:15,390 --> 00:20:18,642
You know, and that's a... That's
a comedy without the laughs.
485
00:20:18,643 --> 00:20:21,011
Sam's employee: Is the cheesesteak a combo?
486
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,013
Um, I guess. I don't know. I...
487
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:26,100
- Don't ask me. I get delivered meals.
- (Phone chiming)
488
00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:30,070
They should have to pay me for
the title. I call you "Red."
489
00:20:30,071 --> 00:20:32,857
He stole that from me.
490
00:20:32,858 --> 00:20:35,843
Okay. Oh, look. Okay.
Andy Cohen just tweeted,
491
00:20:35,844 --> 00:20:37,696
"having lunch at the Chateau."
492
00:20:37,697 --> 00:20:42,200
Okay. So... oh, you know,
I bet he's here for that
493
00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:45,370
"top shelf super chef"...
494
00:20:45,371 --> 00:20:47,838
Reunion chef thing. Oh.
495
00:20:47,839 --> 00:20:50,374
- Sam's employee: $27.46.
- Okay, yeah, thanks.
496
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:53,010
I think... I think we should
497
00:20:53,011 --> 00:20:55,179
maybe go to the Chateau
for lunch. Huh, Mickey?
498
00:20:55,180 --> 00:20:57,381
Smart. Smart. We're going to...
499
00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,284
Sir? I can't find... Oh, there he is. Yes?
500
00:21:00,285 --> 00:21:03,137
Hi. Yeah, we can't stay. Got to go. Sorry.
501
00:21:03,138 --> 00:21:04,722
I already put in the order.
502
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:07,558
Well, tell them to
cancel it maybe. You know?
503
00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:10,611
Or I don't know. Maybe the
car behind us maybe wants
504
00:21:10,612 --> 00:21:13,480
a Bento Box and a Philly Cheese Curry.
505
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,449
I don't know. But, you know...
506
00:21:15,450 --> 00:21:17,151
How about you figure it out? All right?
507
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:19,403
Why am I running Sam's burgers?
508
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,822
It doesn't make sense.
Harry, get in the car.
509
00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:24,241
Sorry. Got to go.
510
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:25,726
Valerie: All right.
511
00:21:25,727 --> 00:21:27,628
Oh, got to wait. Be safe.
512
00:21:27,629 --> 00:21:30,582
- Wait for Harry to get in.
- (Knocking)
513
00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:33,918
- Valerie: Why can't he get in?
- Mickey: Because somebody locked the door.
514
00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:35,086
Valerie: Oh, Ivan.
515
00:21:35,087 --> 00:21:37,087
That. That's not. Why are you smiling?
516
00:21:37,088 --> 00:21:39,106
Like it's funny. This isn't fun time.
517
00:21:39,107 --> 00:21:42,843
This is work. You can't do
this, you know, on a real show.
518
00:21:46,731 --> 00:21:47,931
Mickey, how do I look?
519
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:49,933
- Perfection.
- Okay.
520
00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:50,934
Thank you.
521
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:52,937
(Laughs) Oh, watch out.
522
00:21:52,938 --> 00:21:54,606
- Oh.
- (Laughs) Hi.
523
00:21:54,607 --> 00:21:56,523
(Chuckles) Wow. Table for three, please.
524
00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:57,858
Um, do you have a reservation?
525
00:21:57,859 --> 00:21:59,576
Uh, no. Just passing through, so.
526
00:21:59,577 --> 00:22:02,246
Host: Uh-huh. Um... We
are all booked right now.
527
00:22:02,247 --> 00:22:03,997
Okay. Well, we'll wait. That's all right.
528
00:22:03,998 --> 00:22:05,699
Host: And no cameras allowed.
529
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,918
Okay. Oh, I see someone I know.
530
00:22:07,919 --> 00:22:09,370
Yeah, I can't have the cameras.
531
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:11,372
Well, I know Andy Cohen so
I'm just gonna go say hi.
532
00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:12,506
Ma'am... (Gasps)
533
00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,342
I'm so sorry.
534
00:22:15,343 --> 00:22:17,378
I was just trying to stop you.
535
00:22:17,379 --> 00:22:19,631
With your fist?
536
00:22:19,632 --> 00:22:21,298
I'm so sorry.
537
00:22:23,268 --> 00:22:25,436
Call it even. I'm gonna go say hi to Andy.
538
00:22:25,437 --> 00:22:27,271
Sorry, we can't have the cameras.
539
00:22:27,272 --> 00:22:28,889
Aunt Val, look.
540
00:22:28,890 --> 00:22:30,758
(Phone ringing)
541
00:22:30,759 --> 00:22:33,394
Okay. Well, boys, you heard the man.
542
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:34,995
Give the cameras to Mickey.
543
00:22:36,698 --> 00:22:38,782
Tyler: Yeah, dude, get your phone out.
544
00:22:38,783 --> 00:22:40,984
I forgot everything's a camera. Yeah.
545
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:43,537
All right.
546
00:22:43,538 --> 00:22:44,872
Valerie: Okay, go ahead.
547
00:22:44,873 --> 00:22:47,157
I'm gonna take these boys with me.
548
00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:49,576
(Sighs) You owe me. (Chuckles)
549
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,245
Man: I rescued him.
550
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:54,047
He's so sweet. I mean, he's a good dog,
551
00:22:54,048 --> 00:22:55,666
and I love bringing him to my show.
552
00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:57,584
Andy, hi.
553
00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,170
Hey. It's Val. Valerie Cherish.
554
00:22:59,171 --> 00:23:00,971
Hey, of course. I know, Val.
555
00:23:00,972 --> 00:23:02,973
- Hi.
- Oh, good. Hi.
556
00:23:02,974 --> 00:23:04,676
Andy: Sun was in my eye,
you look great. Valerie: Oh.
557
00:23:04,677 --> 00:23:06,427
Valerie: Oh, well so do you, as always.
558
00:23:06,428 --> 00:23:07,761
Thank you. Do you know Ru Paul?
559
00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:09,980
Yes I do. You've got that show.
560
00:23:09,981 --> 00:23:11,198
- Yes.
- Hi.
561
00:23:11,199 --> 00:23:13,150
I'm Valerie Cherish. I... I heard.
562
00:23:13,151 --> 00:23:16,688
I loved Valerie's first sitcom, "I'm it."
563
00:23:16,689 --> 00:23:19,406
We used to watch it in my
dorm room and smoke dope.
564
00:23:19,407 --> 00:23:21,025
- So fun.
- Valerie: Oh. (Laughs)
565
00:23:21,026 --> 00:23:22,326
Val is legendary.
566
00:23:22,327 --> 00:23:23,710
Aw.
567
00:23:23,711 --> 00:23:24,863
We tried to work together a few years ago.
568
00:23:24,864 --> 00:23:26,330
- Valerie: Yes, we did.
- Yeah. We did.
569
00:23:26,331 --> 00:23:27,664
What are you up to now?
570
00:23:27,665 --> 00:23:30,334
Um, well, just working on a
little something right now.
571
00:23:30,335 --> 00:23:31,418
Oh, wow.
572
00:23:31,419 --> 00:23:32,870
Yeah. Hey.
573
00:23:32,871 --> 00:23:35,122
Are you... I thought you were
texting. Are you shooting?
574
00:23:35,123 --> 00:23:36,673
Well, it's not for broadcast. Don't worry.
575
00:23:36,674 --> 00:23:39,092
Yeah. Just doing a
little pilot presentation.
576
00:23:39,093 --> 00:23:42,546
A little something. The host wouldn't
let us bring in the actual cameras.
577
00:23:42,547 --> 00:23:44,631
You know. Actually,
punched me in the stomach.
578
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,217
- Andy: No way.
- Way!
579
00:23:46,218 --> 00:23:48,386
You're kidding. That's hilarious.
580
00:23:48,387 --> 00:23:50,437
- Valerie: I know!
- Did you make a scene?
581
00:23:50,438 --> 00:23:52,606
Right, yeah. Well, should have.
582
00:23:52,607 --> 00:23:55,192
But cameras caught it. So, you know.
583
00:23:55,193 --> 00:23:57,895
You'll see. I think this
might be right for you.
584
00:23:57,896 --> 00:23:58,946
You know, want to show it to you.
585
00:23:58,947 --> 00:24:00,047
Great. Yeah.
586
00:24:00,048 --> 00:24:01,198
I'm looking forward to seeing it.
587
00:24:01,199 --> 00:24:02,567
Oh. Send it to me.
588
00:24:02,568 --> 00:24:04,868
Great, okay. I'm gonna let
you get back to it. Okay.
589
00:24:04,869 --> 00:24:05,904
Before the host comes over
590
00:24:05,905 --> 00:24:07,154
and breaks a chair on my head.
591
00:24:07,155 --> 00:24:09,156
- (Laughing) That's great.
- Right?
592
00:24:09,157 --> 00:24:10,742
- Great to see you, Val.
- Good to see you.
593
00:24:10,743 --> 00:24:12,209
Yeah. And, oh...
594
00:24:12,210 --> 00:24:13,710
I get it now.
595
00:24:13,711 --> 00:24:15,412
Okay? Didn't get it before,
596
00:24:15,413 --> 00:24:17,214
that, you know, I was...
597
00:24:17,215 --> 00:24:18,916
(Whispers) Took myself too seriously.
598
00:24:18,917 --> 00:24:20,167
You know, didn't know I
was playing a character,
599
00:24:20,168 --> 00:24:22,469
thought it was me. But I get it now.
600
00:24:22,470 --> 00:24:24,171
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay? Good.
601
00:24:24,172 --> 00:24:25,839
Enjoy your lunch. So nice to meet you.
602
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,224
- Ru Paul: Thank you.
- Okay, bye-bye.
603
00:24:27,225 --> 00:24:28,425
- Come on, boys.
- Andy: Great. See you, Val.
604
00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:32,563
- Uh-huh.
- Thank you.
605
00:24:39,404 --> 00:24:41,405
Don't hit people.
606
00:24:41,406 --> 00:24:42,523
(Laughs)
607
00:24:45,527 --> 00:24:46,677
Okay.
608
00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:49,863
Well, I think that went well.
609
00:24:49,864 --> 00:24:51,031
Yeah. Well...
610
00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:52,249
Should have made more of a scene
611
00:24:52,250 --> 00:24:53,451
with the host, though. You know?
612
00:24:53,452 --> 00:24:55,335
Andy asked me what I did, and I didn't.
613
00:24:55,336 --> 00:24:57,254
You know, I was too nice.
614
00:24:57,255 --> 00:24:58,372
That's not TV.
615
00:24:58,373 --> 00:24:59,923
You should have flipped the host stand.
616
00:24:59,924 --> 00:25:01,375
Very Teresa Giudice.
617
00:25:01,376 --> 00:25:03,710
Yeah, "Giu-dice." Gotta
find my own thing, though.
618
00:25:03,711 --> 00:25:05,512
I can't just do that. What's the matter?
619
00:25:05,513 --> 00:25:07,614
Look alive, Red oh, yeah. I see them.
620
00:25:07,615 --> 00:25:08,966
I'm off like a prom dress.
621
00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:09,968
Okay.
622
00:25:09,969 --> 00:25:11,518
(Shouting) Hello, hello, hello.
623
00:25:11,519 --> 00:25:14,138
- What's happening?
- (Overlapping shouting)
624
00:25:14,139 --> 00:25:15,305
Paparazzo: Hey, Juna! Juna! Juna!
625
00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:16,390
Valerie: Can we see who it is?
626
00:25:16,391 --> 00:25:17,558
Paparazzo 2: Right this way, over here.
627
00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:18,642
Oh, Juna!
628
00:25:18,643 --> 00:25:20,277
It's Juna. It's Juna.
629
00:25:20,278 --> 00:25:21,813
- Mickey, it's Juna.
- (Shouting continues)
630
00:25:21,814 --> 00:25:24,481
Juna! You're on my foot.
631
00:25:24,482 --> 00:25:26,633
- Juna! Juna!
- Paparazzo: Juna!
632
00:25:26,634 --> 00:25:27,818
Oh. Juna!
633
00:25:27,819 --> 00:25:29,486
- Valerie: Juna!
- (Shouting continues)
634
00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:31,872
Valerie: Juna! Juna!
635
00:25:31,873 --> 00:25:33,457
Move. Juna!
636
00:25:33,458 --> 00:25:34,825
Baby girl!
637
00:25:34,826 --> 00:25:37,411
- Valerie: Juna!
- Paparazzo 3: Juna!
638
00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:38,495
(Shouting ceases)
639
00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:39,796
Paparazzo: Over here, Juna!
640
00:25:39,797 --> 00:25:41,415
No, she's gone.
641
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:44,836
Okay.
642
00:25:44,837 --> 00:25:46,336
- Missed her.
- Paparazzo: Juna!
643
00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:47,638
- Paparazzo 4: Over here!
- Val!
644
00:25:47,639 --> 00:25:49,506
- Oh my God.
- Ah, there you are!
645
00:25:49,507 --> 00:25:50,924
I didn't even see you there.
646
00:25:50,925 --> 00:25:52,343
Hi. Hi, baby girl.
647
00:25:52,344 --> 00:25:53,927
- Oh...
- Oh...
648
00:25:53,928 --> 00:25:55,680
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
649
00:25:55,681 --> 00:25:57,397
What is going on?
650
00:25:57,398 --> 00:25:59,483
Well, you know... Everything's going.
651
00:25:59,484 --> 00:26:01,485
Got too many irons on the fire, so.
652
00:26:01,486 --> 00:26:03,103
- Well, why am I not surprised.
- Right?
653
00:26:03,104 --> 00:26:04,204
We need to see each other.
654
00:26:04,205 --> 00:26:05,523
Tomorrow?
655
00:26:05,524 --> 00:26:07,525
I wish. I'm actually going
to Bali to shoot a movie.
656
00:26:07,526 --> 00:26:09,860
I'm in love with a robot in this one.
657
00:26:09,861 --> 00:26:11,194
- Yeah, I know.
- Okay.
658
00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:12,779
But I'll be back in like three months.
659
00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:13,930
Three months, it's a date.
660
00:26:13,931 --> 00:26:14,948
- Great.
- Okay.
661
00:26:14,949 --> 00:26:16,283
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
662
00:26:16,284 --> 00:26:18,001
Actually, four months. I'm an asshole.
663
00:26:18,002 --> 00:26:19,753
I'm going to Madrid to shoot for vogue.
664
00:26:19,754 --> 00:26:21,271
Oh, okay. Four months.
665
00:26:21,272 --> 00:26:22,756
- Okay, great!
- Oh, I can't wait.
666
00:26:22,757 --> 00:26:24,758
- Where's Mickey?
- Oh, Mickey!
667
00:26:24,759 --> 00:26:26,259
There he is. Look at that.
668
00:26:26,260 --> 00:26:28,261
- Hi!
- Look at you. Yeah.
669
00:26:28,262 --> 00:26:30,547
Mickey: Oh my goodness. Oh my.
670
00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:32,966
Good to see you. Oh, you
look better than ever.
671
00:26:32,967 --> 00:26:34,468
Goodness, you look great.
672
00:26:34,469 --> 00:26:35,636
All the jewels, I see.
673
00:26:35,637 --> 00:26:36,770
(Laughing)
674
00:26:36,771 --> 00:26:38,689
All right. Well, listen, I really gotta go.
675
00:26:38,690 --> 00:26:40,023
- But, I'll see you soon.
- Valerie: Okay.
676
00:26:40,024 --> 00:26:41,692
- Bye.
- Paparazzo: Juna, look this way.
677
00:26:41,693 --> 00:26:44,228
- Okay. Still on my foot.
- Paparazzo: Juna!
678
00:26:44,229 --> 00:26:45,729
You gotta get off my foot.
679
00:26:45,730 --> 00:26:48,699
Valerie: Oh! Okay, that's not nice.
680
00:26:48,700 --> 00:26:50,234
Valerie: Look what your guys did.
681
00:26:50,235 --> 00:26:51,868
And you've gotta get off my foot.
682
00:26:51,869 --> 00:26:54,488
All right? My new best friend.
683
00:26:58,076 --> 00:26:59,910
Okay.
684
00:27:00,878 --> 00:27:02,696
Well, how about that? Huh?
685
00:27:02,697 --> 00:27:05,716
You never know what filming
opportunities life will present you with.
686
00:27:05,717 --> 00:27:07,300
Baby girl.
687
00:27:07,301 --> 00:27:08,586
Mickey: One of the best.
688
00:27:08,587 --> 00:27:10,971
Still smells like patchouli and peppermint.
689
00:27:10,972 --> 00:27:12,172
Can you help me with this?
690
00:27:13,725 --> 00:27:16,393
Valerie: Okay. All right. From my lawyers.
691
00:27:16,394 --> 00:27:18,679
See that, Mickey? It's handled.
692
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,731
Going to send HBO a cease and desist.
693
00:27:20,732 --> 00:27:21,848
- Mickey: Good.
- Yeah.
694
00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:23,266
They should cease and desist.
695
00:27:23,267 --> 00:27:25,519
And better you stay out of it, Red.
696
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:26,687
That could get messy.
697
00:27:26,688 --> 00:27:27,988
Yeah.
698
00:27:31,192 --> 00:27:33,193
Mm-hmm. Could get messy.
699
00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:36,863
(Elevator dings)
700
00:27:39,117 --> 00:27:42,419
Well, I'm mad, and this
is about to get messy.
701
00:27:44,622 --> 00:27:46,124
Valerie: Okay, let me just...
702
00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:48,291
so was the timing with the
doors opening better that time?
703
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:49,794
- Yeah.
- Yeah? Good. Okay.
704
00:27:49,795 --> 00:27:51,094
So, let's go.
705
00:27:51,095 --> 00:27:52,429
And you just follow me, okay?
706
00:27:52,430 --> 00:27:54,765
Whatever happens, just don't stop filming.
707
00:27:54,766 --> 00:27:57,134
I might flip a conference table or two.
708
00:28:02,273 --> 00:28:03,640
Woman: Hello, how can I help you?
709
00:28:03,641 --> 00:28:06,560
Uh, I'm Valerie Cherish and I need to see
710
00:28:06,561 --> 00:28:08,612
someone in charge of "Seeing Red."
711
00:28:08,613 --> 00:28:09,896
The sign-in sheet's here.
712
00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:12,650
Well, I'm not here for that.
713
00:28:12,651 --> 00:28:14,901
- Um...
- (Idle chatter)
714
00:28:18,206 --> 00:28:20,907
Oh God, they've already
started auditioning, Mickey.
715
00:28:20,908 --> 00:28:22,959
Mickey: Oh dear.
716
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,377
Valerie: Okay.
717
00:28:24,378 --> 00:28:26,664
You know what? This is perfect.
718
00:28:26,665 --> 00:28:28,665
This is perf... this is my proof to HBO.
719
00:28:28,666 --> 00:28:30,250
I just need to point to them and say,
720
00:28:30,251 --> 00:28:31,752
"you did not ask my permission,
721
00:28:31,753 --> 00:28:33,303
and you need to stop."
722
00:28:33,304 --> 00:28:34,504
Okay.
723
00:28:36,174 --> 00:28:37,591
Kathryn Hahn?
724
00:28:37,592 --> 00:28:39,309
Is she here?
725
00:28:39,310 --> 00:28:40,811
Val?
726
00:28:40,812 --> 00:28:42,512
Oh.
727
00:28:42,513 --> 00:28:44,147
Sharon.
728
00:28:45,249 --> 00:28:46,983
Valerie: Good to see you, darling.
729
00:28:46,984 --> 00:28:49,236
It's good to see you too.
730
00:28:49,237 --> 00:28:51,188
- Okay, you can't do that.
- Um...
731
00:28:51,189 --> 00:28:53,356
Do you have an appointment today?
732
00:28:53,357 --> 00:28:55,325
Uh, did I need one?
733
00:28:55,326 --> 00:28:56,527
That's me.
734
00:28:56,528 --> 00:28:58,261
They're all doing me. Okay.
735
00:28:58,262 --> 00:29:00,697
You call her Aunt Patsy, but
it's Aunt Sassy and you know it,
736
00:29:00,698 --> 00:29:02,082
because you cast me in it.
737
00:29:02,083 --> 00:29:04,618
Okay. Um...
738
00:29:04,619 --> 00:29:06,203
- Let me tell them you're here...
- Mm-hmm.
739
00:29:06,204 --> 00:29:09,089
And we'll see what they can...
740
00:29:09,090 --> 00:29:10,257
- Yeah.
- I'll be right back.
741
00:29:10,258 --> 00:29:11,958
Okay. Yeah. See what they say.
742
00:29:11,959 --> 00:29:13,844
Valerie: Okay. But I'm gonna go in anyway.
743
00:29:13,845 --> 00:29:15,178
You know.
744
00:29:15,179 --> 00:29:16,713
I'll go in.
745
00:29:16,714 --> 00:29:18,348
(Emphatically) I'll go in.
746
00:29:18,349 --> 00:29:19,933
Yeah.
747
00:29:19,934 --> 00:29:21,551
Okay.
748
00:29:22,553 --> 00:29:23,854
- Hmm?
- Are you...?
749
00:29:23,855 --> 00:29:25,472
Oh, right now? Okay, yeah.
750
00:29:25,473 --> 00:29:26,640
- Sharon: Sure.
- Yeah.
751
00:29:26,641 --> 00:29:28,558
Oh, are the cameras okay?
752
00:29:28,559 --> 00:29:30,193
Sure, if you're okay with it, okay?
753
00:29:30,194 --> 00:29:31,395
Well, I'm... well, they're mine.
754
00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:33,480
So I'm okay. Do you want me to come in too?
755
00:29:33,481 --> 00:29:35,782
Sure, yeah. I don't care who sees this.
756
00:29:35,783 --> 00:29:37,901
You know, because I'm mad.
757
00:29:39,670 --> 00:29:40,654
(Woman speaking on screen)
758
00:29:40,655 --> 00:29:42,907
What is this?
759
00:29:42,908 --> 00:29:45,208
I have Valerie Cherish.
760
00:29:46,978 --> 00:29:48,545
Nice to meet you, Valerie.
761
00:29:48,546 --> 00:29:52,132
Um, thank you. I wish it was
under better circumstances.
762
00:29:53,334 --> 00:29:55,001
- Paulie, hi.
- Hi.
763
00:29:55,002 --> 00:29:56,837
- Paulie: Nice to see you.
- Yeah.
764
00:29:58,756 --> 00:30:00,307
- Okay. Yeah.
- Yeah?
765
00:30:01,475 --> 00:30:02,726
Hey, you look great.
766
00:30:02,727 --> 00:30:04,594
- The exact same.
- Oh.
767
00:30:04,595 --> 00:30:06,346
- Thank you. You too.
768
00:30:06,347 --> 00:30:09,482
Just, I didn't... I
didn't know about the...
769
00:30:09,483 --> 00:30:11,151
You know, that you were...
770
00:30:11,152 --> 00:30:12,903
Glad to see that you're okay now.
771
00:30:12,904 --> 00:30:14,154
- Thank you.
- Okay.
772
00:30:14,155 --> 00:30:15,238
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
773
00:30:15,239 --> 00:30:16,940
Hey, Mickey. My man!
774
00:30:19,277 --> 00:30:20,827
(Woman on television): Do
you mind if I just don't do
775
00:30:20,828 --> 00:30:23,146
the whole Southern accent
thing? It just feels like...
776
00:30:23,147 --> 00:30:24,748
Woman 2: Uh, okay.
777
00:30:24,749 --> 00:30:26,499
Woman 2: Chelsea Handler, Aunt Patsy.
778
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:28,001
I'll turn that off.
779
00:30:28,002 --> 00:30:30,587
We were just watching this when you came.
780
00:30:30,588 --> 00:30:32,956
Woman 2: Oh, Aunt Patsy, not now.
781
00:30:32,957 --> 00:30:36,593
Note to self: I don't need to see that.
782
00:30:36,594 --> 00:30:38,261
Hm.
783
00:30:38,262 --> 00:30:40,380
Well, as long as we're
ordering, I'd like a side
784
00:30:40,381 --> 00:30:43,216
of big dick Perkins... Hold the Perkins.
785
00:30:45,186 --> 00:30:47,687
Well... okay. That's not right.
786
00:30:47,688 --> 00:30:49,806
You know. I'm not happy with you.
787
00:30:49,807 --> 00:30:52,475
Or you, okay?
788
00:30:52,476 --> 00:30:55,145
You need to "ceast" and desist.
789
00:30:55,146 --> 00:30:56,863
We did reach out to your agent.
790
00:30:56,864 --> 00:30:58,198
We never heard back.
791
00:30:58,199 --> 00:31:01,401
You reached out for...
to get my permission to...
792
00:31:01,402 --> 00:31:03,703
No, no. We wanted to see
if you were interested
793
00:31:03,704 --> 00:31:05,121
in coming in for it.
794
00:31:06,991 --> 00:31:08,826
Oh, you w-wanted to see if I...
795
00:31:08,827 --> 00:31:11,461
Oh. Oh, and you didn't hear back?
796
00:31:11,462 --> 00:31:13,213
Okay, well...
797
00:31:13,214 --> 00:31:15,498
You know, they just keep
promoting assistants over there.
798
00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:17,968
Next time check the
assistant's directory maybe.
799
00:31:17,969 --> 00:31:20,303
Right. Well, it was my understanding
800
00:31:20,304 --> 00:31:22,722
that we don't need your permission for...
801
00:31:22,723 --> 00:31:26,142
A character Paulie G.
created, called Mallory Church.
802
00:31:26,143 --> 00:31:27,711
It's fiction.
803
00:31:27,712 --> 00:31:30,013
(Laughs) It sounds like a
little miscommunication problem.
804
00:31:30,014 --> 00:31:31,681
- Yeah, uh-huh.
- But you read the script,
805
00:31:31,682 --> 00:31:33,350
and here you are.
806
00:31:33,351 --> 00:31:34,851
It'd be great to hear you read it.
807
00:31:39,156 --> 00:31:42,275
Well, I haven't prepared. So...
808
00:31:42,276 --> 00:31:44,527
Do you need to prepare?
It's pretty close to you.
809
00:31:44,528 --> 00:31:46,530
Without actually being you.
810
00:31:46,531 --> 00:31:49,499
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- But we'd love to hear what you'd do with it.
811
00:31:50,618 --> 00:31:52,536
Valerie: Okay, sure. Why not? Yeah.
812
00:31:52,537 --> 00:31:55,539
- Woman: Take a few minutes. We'll wait.
- Thank you. Yeah.
813
00:31:55,540 --> 00:31:58,174
Come with me Valerie, and I'll get
you the rest of Aunt Patsy's scenes.
814
00:31:58,175 --> 00:31:59,292
- Okay.
- Ooh! Oh!
815
00:31:59,293 --> 00:32:00,378
Are you all right, doll?
816
00:32:00,379 --> 00:32:02,512
Be careful.
817
00:32:02,513 --> 00:32:04,048
Paulie: You know what?
818
00:32:04,049 --> 00:32:07,350
Hey, guys, we don't
need to hear Valerie read
819
00:32:07,351 --> 00:32:08,852
the show within a show stuff.
820
00:32:08,853 --> 00:32:09,936
You know what I mean?
821
00:32:09,937 --> 00:32:11,855
We know she's great at bad sitcom.
822
00:32:11,856 --> 00:32:15,058
Which I wrote. That's my bad.
823
00:32:15,059 --> 00:32:17,227
- Yeah. Right. I didn't say anything.
- (Laughing)
824
00:32:17,228 --> 00:32:18,945
We just... let's get to
the meat of it, you know?
825
00:32:18,946 --> 00:32:20,613
- Uh-huh.
- To the drama stuff.
826
00:32:20,614 --> 00:32:22,866
All right? Sharon, do
we have the monologue?
827
00:32:22,867 --> 00:32:24,401
Sharon: Sure, that's a great idea.
828
00:32:25,786 --> 00:32:27,320
- Okay.
- Paulie: Yeah?
829
00:32:27,321 --> 00:32:29,406
- Yeah...
- Paulie: Obviously we're not asking everyone to read that.
830
00:32:29,407 --> 00:32:31,124
Oh, okay. Thank you.
831
00:32:31,125 --> 00:32:32,542
Thanks for that. I guess I could...
832
00:32:32,543 --> 00:32:34,894
yeah, I could take a few minutes
out there, try to memorize it.
833
00:32:34,895 --> 00:32:37,380
You don't need to memorize
it. No one's expecting that.
834
00:32:37,381 --> 00:32:38,748
You know, we just want to see it.
835
00:32:38,749 --> 00:32:41,084
Right. Yeah, okay. Well, look,
836
00:32:41,085 --> 00:32:42,635
the truth is I didn't...
837
00:32:42,636 --> 00:32:44,054
I didn't read the whole script.
838
00:32:44,055 --> 00:32:46,139
- So, busted.
- (Producers laugh)
839
00:32:46,140 --> 00:32:48,259
So, you know, then it's a cold reading,
840
00:32:48,260 --> 00:32:50,428
and I don't do cold reads well.
841
00:32:50,429 --> 00:32:51,811
And I could argue otherwise.
842
00:32:51,812 --> 00:32:53,346
I've given you stuff cold before.
843
00:32:53,347 --> 00:32:55,982
Right? I had you change
lines right on the spot.
844
00:32:55,983 --> 00:32:59,319
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
- Paulie: You always nailed it.
845
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,104
If you'd like to take your time,
846
00:33:01,105 --> 00:33:03,941
- and prepare, and then come back.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
847
00:33:03,942 --> 00:33:05,443
Are we casting tomorrow?
848
00:33:05,444 --> 00:33:07,994
Uh, this is the last day scheduled so far.
849
00:33:07,995 --> 00:33:10,747
- Well...
- Man: Right, right. I'm in Ireland tomorrow.
850
00:33:10,748 --> 00:33:11,831
Oh.
851
00:33:11,832 --> 00:33:15,001
- Valerie: Right.
- Well, it's up to you.
852
00:33:15,002 --> 00:33:16,786
We all know it's a cold reading.
853
00:33:16,787 --> 00:33:17,954
Valerie: Uh-huh.
854
00:33:17,955 --> 00:33:19,739
Okay.
855
00:33:19,740 --> 00:33:20,874
Yeah. Sure.
856
00:33:20,875 --> 00:33:21,958
Okay.
857
00:33:21,959 --> 00:33:23,043
- And down there?
- Man: Yeah.
858
00:33:23,044 --> 00:33:24,627
- Is that where we go?
- Man: Right there.
859
00:33:24,628 --> 00:33:27,263
Okay, off we go then.
860
00:33:27,264 --> 00:33:28,548
Valerie: I'm gonna...
861
00:33:30,768 --> 00:33:33,019
Oh, Mickey, I'm gonna need my glasses.
862
00:33:33,020 --> 00:33:34,637
Valerie: Sorry.
863
00:33:36,724 --> 00:33:38,476
Have to see it if I'm gonna read it.
864
00:33:38,477 --> 00:33:39,943
(All chuckling)
865
00:33:39,944 --> 00:33:41,061
Right?
866
00:33:42,947 --> 00:33:45,615
If I could memorize it,
you could see it without...
867
00:33:45,616 --> 00:33:47,984
Okay. That's fine.
868
00:33:50,237 --> 00:33:52,155
Okay. She won't look like this.
869
00:33:52,156 --> 00:33:53,790
(Producers laughing)
870
00:33:53,791 --> 00:33:56,159
Valerie: Just look it over for one second.
871
00:34:04,752 --> 00:34:06,170
Paulie: Whenever you're ready, Val.
872
00:34:06,171 --> 00:34:08,004
Take your time.
873
00:34:10,508 --> 00:34:11,674
Mm-hmm.
874
00:34:18,399 --> 00:34:20,233
Okay.
875
00:34:20,234 --> 00:34:21,901
Paulie: Great.
876
00:34:21,902 --> 00:34:23,436
Okay.
877
00:34:24,438 --> 00:34:25,822
(Clears throat)
878
00:34:28,692 --> 00:34:31,778
"You think I'm this dried
up, middle-aged woman.
879
00:34:31,779 --> 00:34:32,946
"Look at the jokes you write,
880
00:34:32,947 --> 00:34:35,248
"look at this tracksuit you make me wear.
881
00:34:35,249 --> 00:34:37,033
"All saying the same thing;
882
00:34:37,034 --> 00:34:41,037
"I'm old, I'm annoying, I'm unfuckable.
883
00:34:42,123 --> 00:34:43,540
Valerie: "Well, I'm not the joke, okay?
884
00:34:43,541 --> 00:34:45,625
"You are, Mitch.
885
00:34:45,626 --> 00:34:48,711
"And instead of spending all your
time trying to make me the joke,
886
00:34:48,712 --> 00:34:51,264
"why don't you do your
job and write me one, huh?
887
00:34:51,265 --> 00:34:53,466
"A real joke, Mitch. Not you and your boys
888
00:34:53,467 --> 00:34:56,469
"off in a room making fun
of an old woman's pussy.
889
00:34:56,470 --> 00:34:59,439
"Yeah, I heard you. I
heard what you think of me.
890
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,392
"I heard it.
891
00:35:01,393 --> 00:35:04,027
"Well, maybe you and everyone in television
892
00:35:04,028 --> 00:35:05,895
"could..." oh, I said it wrong.
893
00:35:05,896 --> 00:35:08,281
Just let me go back.
894
00:35:08,282 --> 00:35:10,400
Okay.
895
00:35:10,401 --> 00:35:13,286
"Well, maybe you and everyone
in the television business
896
00:35:13,287 --> 00:35:15,321
"can't see me as desirable,
897
00:35:15,322 --> 00:35:18,241
"but there are plenty
of men out there who..."
898
00:35:18,242 --> 00:35:20,578
"but there are plenty of men out there...
899
00:35:20,579 --> 00:35:23,630
"Who would still want to
fuck an old lady like me.
900
00:35:23,631 --> 00:35:28,251
"So fuck you, Mitch. Just
fuck you. And fuck you."
901
00:35:31,222 --> 00:35:32,589
Valerie: Okay.
902
00:35:34,341 --> 00:35:37,760
Valerie: Well, that was cold and, um...
903
00:35:37,761 --> 00:35:40,063
It was a little too... Just, up there.
904
00:35:40,064 --> 00:35:44,434
I'm gonna get my crew
and gonna get out of here.
905
00:35:44,435 --> 00:35:45,468
Okay.
906
00:35:45,469 --> 00:35:48,021
So thank you, very much.
907
00:35:48,022 --> 00:35:49,255
Ooh.
908
00:35:50,991 --> 00:35:53,359
Need to get my purse, Mickey.
909
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,078
Just get it.
910
00:35:56,580 --> 00:35:57,997
Okay, everyone coming?
911
00:36:06,173 --> 00:36:07,290
Okay.
912
00:36:09,343 --> 00:36:10,877
Why, why did I do that?
913
00:36:10,878 --> 00:36:12,045
It was so stupid.
914
00:36:12,046 --> 00:36:14,464
Do a cold reading? It was so stupid.
915
00:36:14,465 --> 00:36:15,632
Ooh. (Gasps)
916
00:36:15,633 --> 00:36:16,966
Ivan: You dropped your mic.
917
00:36:16,967 --> 00:36:18,718
(Man via headphones): ...Gonna
have a problem with this.
918
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,103
I can hear them.
919
00:36:20,104 --> 00:36:21,688
(Woman via headphones): I
don't know what that was,
920
00:36:21,689 --> 00:36:23,723
but I've got to have
more of it. Is that weird?
921
00:36:23,724 --> 00:36:25,976
- It's stuck.
- Leave it. Leave it. Leave it.
922
00:36:25,977 --> 00:36:27,860
(Paulie via headphones): We're
not casting her though, right?
923
00:36:27,861 --> 00:36:29,612
Man 2: That's who you wrote, Paulie.
924
00:36:29,613 --> 00:36:31,397
- Man 2: She even had the cameras.
- (Paulie laughing)
925
00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:33,116
What's it stuck on? I don't understand.
926
00:36:33,117 --> 00:36:35,201
(Gasps)
927
00:36:36,070 --> 00:36:37,237
It's broken.
928
00:36:37,238 --> 00:36:38,821
Valerie: It's a rental. Now what do I do?
929
00:36:40,324 --> 00:36:42,625
Ooh. Oh.
930
00:36:42,626 --> 00:36:44,210
I, um...
931
00:36:44,211 --> 00:36:45,628
Dropped this, so... and I didn't want to,
932
00:36:45,629 --> 00:36:47,297
you know, I wasn't listening. So...
933
00:36:47,298 --> 00:36:48,915
Okay, we're good.
934
00:36:48,916 --> 00:36:50,800
Got it. Thank you.
935
00:36:50,801 --> 00:36:53,553
- Sharon: Thank you.
- Yeah. Bye. Bye, Shannon.
936
00:36:53,554 --> 00:36:54,671
Valerie: Sharon!
937
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,259
Mickey: I thought you were wonderful, Red.
938
00:36:59,260 --> 00:37:01,261
Wasn't. Cold read.
939
00:37:01,262 --> 00:37:03,180
Sometimes it's not possible to win.
940
00:37:03,181 --> 00:37:05,481
You know, just got...
941
00:37:05,482 --> 00:37:07,350
That's supposed to go up though.
942
00:37:07,351 --> 00:37:08,686
Why isn't it going up?
943
00:37:08,687 --> 00:37:10,069
Okay.
944
00:37:10,070 --> 00:37:11,938
Can't get out.
945
00:37:11,939 --> 00:37:13,773
Man over pa: (Unintelligible)
946
00:37:13,774 --> 00:37:15,241
What?
947
00:37:15,242 --> 00:37:17,193
Man over pa: (Unintelligible)
948
00:37:17,194 --> 00:37:19,362
I can't understand. Mickey,
could you understand?
949
00:37:19,363 --> 00:37:20,863
- Mickey: No.
- (Car honks)
950
00:37:20,864 --> 00:37:22,248
Tyler: They want you to go.
951
00:37:22,249 --> 00:37:24,083
Yeah, well no one wants to
get out of here more than I do.
952
00:37:24,084 --> 00:37:25,869
So thanks for that, Tyler.
953
00:37:25,870 --> 00:37:28,671
Hey, you... someone has to help me.
954
00:37:28,672 --> 00:37:30,256
Man over pa: (Unintelligible)
955
00:37:30,257 --> 00:37:33,042
Oh, it said you put in the wrong ticket.
956
00:37:33,043 --> 00:37:35,378
Oh. Well...
957
00:37:35,379 --> 00:37:37,046
I don't...
958
00:37:37,047 --> 00:37:38,531
That's right, I had two tickets.
959
00:37:38,532 --> 00:37:39,599
But who...
960
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,468
who gives you two valet tickets, anyway?
961
00:37:42,469 --> 00:37:43,886
Fucking HBO.
962
00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:45,555
Man over pa: You put in the
wrong... (Unintelligible)
963
00:37:45,556 --> 00:37:47,607
I know. I know. I did a stupid thing!
964
00:37:47,608 --> 00:37:49,225
- Okay.
- (Horn blaring)
965
00:37:49,226 --> 00:37:50,109
Oh, you know what? All right.
966
00:37:50,110 --> 00:37:52,228
Shut up, sir! I can't go!
967
00:37:52,229 --> 00:37:54,231
All right? No, you!
968
00:37:54,232 --> 00:37:55,948
Just turn them off. Off.
969
00:37:55,949 --> 00:37:57,401
- Cameras off, okay?
- Man over pa: (Unintelligible)
970
00:37:57,402 --> 00:37:58,902
Okay, you don't have to shoot everything.
971
00:37:58,903 --> 00:38:00,620
You just keep blabbering and I...
972
00:38:00,621 --> 00:38:03,623
You know? 'Cause, listen...
973
00:38:03,624 --> 00:38:06,959
turn the cameras off, so you
missed the call from my agent.
974
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,312
Okay. Never turn the cameras off.
975
00:38:09,313 --> 00:38:11,381
Tyler: You told us to.
976
00:38:11,382 --> 00:38:13,499
Well, Tyler, not now. Okay?
977
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:15,501
You're gonna harsh my mellow.
978
00:38:15,502 --> 00:38:17,970
You know what? Why don't
I just do the call again?
979
00:38:17,971 --> 00:38:20,390
Right? I can fake it, I'm an actress.
980
00:38:20,391 --> 00:38:23,393
Yeah. According to HBO I'm
an "amazing" dramatic actress.
981
00:38:23,394 --> 00:38:24,644
So, who knew. (Laughs)
982
00:38:24,645 --> 00:38:25,895
Mickey: Good for you, Red.
983
00:38:25,896 --> 00:38:27,431
We're back on TV.
984
00:38:27,432 --> 00:38:29,399
Well, no. "It's not TV. It's..."
985
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:30,733
they don't do that anymore, do they?
986
00:38:30,734 --> 00:38:33,436
Okay, in five, four, three...
987
00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:37,740
someone say "ring."
988
00:38:37,741 --> 00:38:39,158
Mickey: Oh. Ring!
989
00:38:39,159 --> 00:38:42,245
Oh. It's my agent.
990
00:38:42,246 --> 00:38:44,497
This is Valerie Cherish.
991
00:38:44,498 --> 00:38:45,948
No, you know what? Let's do that again.
992
00:38:45,949 --> 00:38:47,667
- (Door opens)
- Mark: Val?
993
00:38:47,668 --> 00:38:49,285
Ooh. This is better.
994
00:38:49,286 --> 00:38:51,704
Okay, you guys. You're
gonna get me telling Mark.
995
00:38:51,705 --> 00:38:53,791
Valerie: And get his
reaction when I'm telling him.
996
00:38:53,792 --> 00:38:55,625
Hey guys. Hi.
997
00:38:55,626 --> 00:38:57,126
Still working? (Chuckles)
998
00:38:57,127 --> 00:38:58,295
Valerie: Yeah.
999
00:38:58,296 --> 00:39:00,346
Valerie: Um, got something to tell you.
1000
00:39:00,347 --> 00:39:01,631
Tell me what?
1001
00:39:01,632 --> 00:39:03,467
Valerie: Well, Marky Mark,
1002
00:39:03,468 --> 00:39:06,803
just got a call from my
agent, Sean something.
1003
00:39:06,804 --> 00:39:10,973
HBO and Mr. Paulie G. loved me
1004
00:39:10,974 --> 00:39:13,943
and offered me a part in "Seeing
Red." How do you like that?
1005
00:39:13,944 --> 00:39:16,279
- (Laughs)
- Mark: Well, how'd that happen?
1006
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,281
Aren't we suing them?
1007
00:39:18,282 --> 00:39:19,399
Well, okay. That was a mistake.
1008
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,117
You know. Lesson learned.
1009
00:39:21,118 --> 00:39:25,321
Took myself too seriously. You
know, it's a part in a show.
1010
00:39:25,322 --> 00:39:27,290
Well, last night you said it was you.
1011
00:39:27,291 --> 00:39:28,908
Yeah, and somebody's gonna play me.
1012
00:39:28,909 --> 00:39:30,910
You know? And not as good.
1013
00:39:31,962 --> 00:39:33,663
Now it's me playing me.
1014
00:39:33,664 --> 00:39:35,715
Valerie: Well, I don't think so...
1015
00:39:35,716 --> 00:39:37,750
No way, Val.
1016
00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:39,385
I mean, no fucking way.
1017
00:39:39,386 --> 00:39:40,503
Valerie: Well...
1018
00:39:42,673 --> 00:39:44,557
To be continued.
1019
00:39:45,609 --> 00:39:47,677
('80s music playing)
1020
00:39:48,679 --> 00:39:49,846
Mickey, are you coming...
1021
00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:55,518
1022
00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:59,405
Harry: When do we get paid?
1023
00:39:59,406 --> 00:40:01,991
Ivan: I think it's like every week.
1024
00:40:03,861 --> 00:40:06,112
1025
00:40:07,664 --> 00:40:09,532
When I'm with you baby
1026
00:40:09,533 --> 00:40:11,417
I go out of my head
1027
00:40:11,418 --> 00:40:13,202
And I just can't get enough
1028
00:40:13,203 --> 00:40:15,205
And I just can't get enough
1029
00:40:15,206 --> 00:40:17,039
All the things you do to me
1030
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:18,875
And everything you said
1031
00:40:18,876 --> 00:40:20,626
I just can't get enough
1032
00:40:20,627 --> 00:40:22,545
I just can't get enough
1033
00:40:22,546 --> 00:40:25,882
We slip and slide
as we fall in love
1034
00:40:25,883 --> 00:40:30,520
And I just can't
seem to get enough of
1035
00:40:30,521 --> 00:40:32,722
1036
00:40:45,569 --> 00:40:48,572
It's getting hotter
it's a burning love
1037
00:40:48,573 --> 00:40:53,409
And I just can't
seem to get enough of
1038
00:40:53,410 --> 00:40:55,628
1039
00:40:55,953 --> 00:41:00,153
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
1040
00:41:00,203 --> 00:41:04,753
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
78112
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