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1
00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:09,393
♪ ♪
2
00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:37,297
♪ ♪
3
00:01:04,171 --> 00:01:06,205
D'oh!
4
00:01:07,875 --> 00:01:09,742
♪ ♪
5
00:02:00,795 --> 00:02:02,261
D'oh!
6
00:02:09,454 --> 00:02:11,803
♪ ♪
7
00:02:20,247 --> 00:02:21,613
Great birthday trip.
8
00:02:21,682 --> 00:02:24,450
One more thing to remind me
of my insignificance.
9
00:02:26,754 --> 00:02:30,489
Two adults, one student,
one boy who just phones it in,
10
00:02:30,558 --> 00:02:33,292
and a senior citizen veteran
on his birthday.
11
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:35,594
Oh, and I'd like to apply
my astronaut discount.
12
00:02:35,663 --> 00:02:37,329
I'll need to see your diaper.
13
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,133
Typical cheapskate Homer.
14
00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:43,736
Taking all the fun out of turning 87.
15
00:02:43,771 --> 00:02:45,738
Get this stupid party hat off me!
16
00:02:45,806 --> 00:02:48,474
- What the... ?
- Oh, I'll fix it.
17
00:02:55,616 --> 00:02:57,883
Woo-hoo! 182!
18
00:02:57,952 --> 00:03:00,686
Homer, that's your weight on the moon.
19
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,422
I used to be a planet.
20
00:03:03,491 --> 00:03:05,624
Then one day they called
and said it was over.
21
00:03:05,693 --> 00:03:07,626
It's over when I say it's over!
22
00:03:07,695 --> 00:03:09,395
So sad.
23
00:03:09,463 --> 00:03:10,863
But I'll be back.
24
00:03:10,931 --> 00:03:12,431
I'm working on some stuff.
25
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:16,168
Let's just say you might not be
seeing Halley's Comet no more.
26
00:03:22,643 --> 00:03:24,176
Losers.
27
00:03:30,184 --> 00:03:33,252
Forged in a nanosecond
in the Big Bang,
28
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,754
our universe is so enormous,
29
00:03:35,823 --> 00:03:39,091
every NFL stadium could fit inside it.
30
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,393
And their parking lots.
31
00:03:43,364 --> 00:03:44,963
When's this show gonna start?
32
00:03:45,032 --> 00:03:46,698
It has started.
33
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:49,568
How can it have
started if I'm talking?
34
00:03:49,637 --> 00:03:51,103
Wouldn't that bother everyone?
35
00:03:51,172 --> 00:03:55,340
Quiet! I can't hear the Big Bang!
36
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:58,977
Approximately
13.8 billion years ago...
37
00:03:59,046 --> 00:04:00,779
- Billion?
- ... the universe consisted of
38
00:04:00,848 --> 00:04:03,949
a tiny singularity of enormous mass,
39
00:04:04,018 --> 00:04:07,886
which suddenly burst forth
in the greatest explosion ever.
40
00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:10,789
Fire in the theater!
41
00:04:10,858 --> 00:04:14,026
No! Your pupils aren't
ready for Earth light!
42
00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:18,197
Damn it, I was developing film!
43
00:04:25,973 --> 00:04:27,806
Turn it up!
44
00:04:27,842 --> 00:04:29,208
I can't hear it!
45
00:04:29,276 --> 00:04:31,643
Louder!
46
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:34,680
Keep it down!
47
00:04:40,421 --> 00:04:42,888
Mm, happy birthday.
48
00:04:42,957 --> 00:04:45,224
I never want to hear that again!
49
00:04:45,292 --> 00:04:50,362
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
50
00:04:50,431 --> 00:04:55,634
♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
51
00:04:55,703 --> 00:04:57,569
Say my name, you cowards!
52
00:04:57,638 --> 00:04:59,404
Make a wish, party popper.
53
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,673
Okay, I will.
54
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:05,811
That was a coincidence.
55
00:05:06,914 --> 00:05:08,947
I got you the one birthday present
56
00:05:09,016 --> 00:05:10,649
you can really use.
57
00:05:10,718 --> 00:05:12,985
A call girl that kills me after?
58
00:05:13,053 --> 00:05:16,221
- A hearing aid.
- A hearing aid?
59
00:05:16,257 --> 00:05:19,158
Forget it. People will think
I'm old, dadgummit.
60
00:05:19,226 --> 00:05:20,492
You are old.
61
00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:23,662
You've lived long enough
to see your prejudiced attitudes
62
00:05:23,731 --> 00:05:25,164
come back into fashion.
63
00:05:25,232 --> 00:05:27,833
Lousy Greeks.
64
00:05:44,018 --> 00:05:46,685
♪♪
65
00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:02,134
Thank you.
66
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:05,604
Bart! Bart!
67
00:06:05,673 --> 00:06:06,872
Wake up.
68
00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:08,640
- Yo. What's up?
- Listen.
69
00:06:08,709 --> 00:06:10,309
The planetarium said the universe is
70
00:06:10,377 --> 00:06:12,744
13.8 billion years old.
71
00:06:12,813 --> 00:06:15,647
But I turned in a paper
where I said million!
72
00:06:15,716 --> 00:06:17,282
What do you want from me?
73
00:06:18,986 --> 00:06:20,352
I was just wondering
74
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:23,989
if you were planning on breaking
into the school anytime soon.
75
00:06:24,058 --> 00:06:25,791
You know, like, maybe tonight.
76
00:06:25,859 --> 00:06:27,059
Nope. Not till next month.
77
00:06:27,127 --> 00:06:28,327
Please.
78
00:06:28,362 --> 00:06:29,761
I'll do your homework!
79
00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:31,863
Sounds like you can't even
do your own homework.
80
00:06:31,932 --> 00:06:33,966
- Ouch.
- Yeah, you think about that
81
00:06:34,034 --> 00:06:36,468
while I'm breaking you
into the school.
82
00:06:36,537 --> 00:06:37,803
Hmm.
83
00:06:37,871 --> 00:06:39,571
Who's breaking into the school?
84
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,573
Bart's just talking in his sleep!
85
00:06:41,642 --> 00:06:43,842
I believe that.
Trust you. Good night!
86
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,748
How did you know this door was broken?
87
00:06:49,783 --> 00:06:51,283
Eh, Willie keeps me posted.
88
00:06:51,352 --> 00:06:52,985
I keep him in licorice.
89
00:06:54,321 --> 00:06:56,955
Willie's riding the red pony tonight.
90
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,367
Look who's got pumpkin stickers!
91
00:07:08,435 --> 00:07:10,736
Bart, those are for Halloween.
92
00:07:10,804 --> 00:07:13,438
Also Thanksgiving
if there's some left over.
93
00:07:18,746 --> 00:07:21,847
Whoa! Where has this been all my life?
94
00:07:21,915 --> 00:07:24,883
Come on, let's go!
95
00:07:24,918 --> 00:07:27,119
Okay. You fixed your stupid paper,
96
00:07:27,187 --> 00:07:29,488
and I scored the teacher's nicotine gum.
97
00:07:29,523 --> 00:07:32,391
She does that so she doesn't
smell like cigarettes, you know.
98
00:07:32,459 --> 00:07:34,393
Yeah, and she should also
get some booze gum.
99
00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:39,398
What's that?
100
00:07:39,466 --> 00:07:40,966
Maybe it's the ghost of that boy
101
00:07:41,035 --> 00:07:44,202
who had to climb that rope
in gym until his heart exploded.
102
00:07:44,271 --> 00:07:46,204
You're making that up.
103
00:07:46,273 --> 00:07:48,240
Am I that creative?
104
00:07:48,309 --> 00:07:49,608
No.
105
00:08:02,489 --> 00:08:04,890
Oh, God.
106
00:08:07,795 --> 00:08:09,061
Principal Skinner.
107
00:08:09,129 --> 00:08:11,296
Are you living in the school?
108
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:15,000
Absolutely not. And you have no proof.
109
00:08:20,809 --> 00:08:24,073
Seymour, why are you
living here? You have a house.
110
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,769
With 30 pizzas on the way.
111
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:26,904
30 pizzas.
112
00:08:26,953 --> 00:08:29,853
I can finally send mama
back to Italy! Mwah!
113
00:08:29,889 --> 00:08:31,522
It's not my house, it's Mother's.
114
00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:35,492
But after what I just found out
she did, I can never go back.
115
00:08:35,561 --> 00:08:38,195
They say it's better to talk
about it, but I never will.
116
00:08:38,264 --> 00:08:39,630
- Okay.
- We understand.
117
00:08:39,699 --> 00:08:41,732
Seriously, don't ask what it was.
118
00:08:41,767 --> 00:08:43,901
- Are you asking?
- I was stretching.
119
00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:45,302
Then why'd you only stretch one arm?
120
00:08:45,371 --> 00:08:47,104
It's the only arm
that needed stretching.
121
00:08:47,173 --> 00:08:48,639
Fine, I'll tell you what it was.
122
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:49,974
- You don't have to.
- Really, it's okay.
123
00:08:50,009 --> 00:08:51,009
We believe you.
124
00:08:51,043 --> 00:08:52,276
Ever since I was a kid,
125
00:08:52,345 --> 00:08:53,877
I-I wanted to be a drummer.
126
00:08:53,946 --> 00:08:55,612
- In a rock band?
- No.
127
00:08:55,681 --> 00:08:57,781
Marching.
128
00:08:57,850 --> 00:09:01,585
I would've given all I had
to be the dot on that "I."
129
00:09:01,654 --> 00:09:03,187
It's also called a "tittle."
130
00:09:03,222 --> 00:09:04,455
Don't you think I know that?
131
00:09:04,523 --> 00:09:06,390
I did everything I could
to make that band.
132
00:09:06,425 --> 00:09:10,394
In my application, I sent
songs and choreographies.
133
00:09:22,174 --> 00:09:24,141
I'm a shoo-in!
134
00:09:30,116 --> 00:09:32,516
Then the fateful day came.
135
00:09:32,585 --> 00:09:36,387
Son, you got a letter from
Ohio State University.
136
00:09:36,455 --> 00:09:38,555
I'm too nervous to get up.
137
00:09:38,624 --> 00:09:40,131
Do you want me to read it to you?
138
00:09:40,186 --> 00:09:41,348
Yes.
139
00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:44,762
I'm sorry.
140
00:09:44,830 --> 00:09:46,196
You were rejected.
141
00:09:46,265 --> 00:09:47,531
Uh, seems kind of thick.
142
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,166
Well, they gave you a lot of reasons
143
00:09:49,235 --> 00:09:50,501
why you weren't good enough.
144
00:09:50,569 --> 00:09:52,503
♪ ♪
145
00:09:52,571 --> 00:09:54,338
That's so sad.
146
00:09:54,407 --> 00:09:56,640
There's more I have to tell you.
147
00:09:56,709 --> 00:09:59,643
I was going to surprise Mother
by papering her drawers,
148
00:09:59,712 --> 00:10:01,145
then I found this.
149
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,446
I was accepted.
150
00:10:02,515 --> 00:10:03,614
She lied.
151
00:10:03,682 --> 00:10:05,449
That's so sad.
152
00:10:05,484 --> 00:10:07,084
What makes this really tragic
153
00:10:07,153 --> 00:10:09,153
is there was also
a personal handwritten letter
154
00:10:09,221 --> 00:10:10,521
from the Director of Admissions.
155
00:10:10,782 --> 00:10:14,905
Dear Seymour, I truly hope
you'll accept a full scholarship
156
00:10:14,929 --> 00:10:17,457
to come to Ohio State.
We want to make use
157
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,186
of your brillant formations immediately
158
00:10:20,562 --> 00:10:21,732
What's that smell?
159
00:10:21,801 --> 00:10:24,735
I'm making spaghetti and kick balls.
160
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,412
And in a fantastic coincidence,
161
00:10:27,413 --> 00:10:30,306
our current marching band
director is due to retire
162
00:10:30,307 --> 00:10:33,791
in four years and I can't
of a better replacement.
163
00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:37,392
You'll live a life at the
pinnacle of Columbus society
164
00:10:37,393 --> 00:10:39,611
and be buried at the fifty-yard line
165
00:10:39,612 --> 00:10:43,342
where you will witness coin
tosses for all eternity.
166
00:10:44,657 --> 00:10:46,290
Does it get worse than that?
167
00:10:46,358 --> 00:10:47,991
How could it be worse than that?
168
00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:49,960
May I see the letter?
169
00:10:50,029 --> 00:10:52,963
I must say your
sympathy is a pleasant surprise.
170
00:10:53,032 --> 00:10:55,432
No, this is just the only
college acceptance letter
171
00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:56,767
I'll ever hold.
172
00:10:59,138 --> 00:11:00,404
Mm.
173
00:11:04,143 --> 00:11:06,643
So it's for all these reasons
that I will not be seeking
174
00:11:06,712 --> 00:11:08,145
a seat in the U.S. Senate.
175
00:11:08,214 --> 00:11:10,380
I will now take a few questions.
176
00:11:10,449 --> 00:11:13,617
Let me tell you the wonderful
present I just got.
177
00:11:13,686 --> 00:11:15,219
Dad! What a surprise!
178
00:11:15,287 --> 00:11:16,720
What's he doing here?
179
00:11:16,789 --> 00:11:18,388
Didn't we just see him yesterday?
180
00:11:18,457 --> 00:11:20,524
That's what they're
saying under their breath?
181
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:23,060
How awful! I want to hear all of it.
182
00:11:23,129 --> 00:11:25,762
Maybe if we pretend we're tired,
he'll go home.
183
00:11:29,969 --> 00:11:31,869
Thank God he can't hear us.
184
00:11:31,937 --> 00:11:33,871
And I'm glad these fake yawns
185
00:11:33,939 --> 00:11:35,973
are something we can do as a family.
186
00:11:37,343 --> 00:11:38,642
What?! You, too?!
187
00:11:38,711 --> 00:11:40,144
Good-bye!
188
00:11:40,212 --> 00:11:41,245
Dad, wait!
189
00:11:41,313 --> 00:11:42,646
What's wrong with the old coot?
190
00:11:42,715 --> 00:11:45,816
I mean, what's wrong with you,
you sweet old coot?
191
00:11:45,885 --> 00:11:49,786
I got a hearing aid,
and I heard everything you said.
192
00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:52,723
We didn't mean the mean things we meant.
193
00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:55,392
We just said them because we meant them.
194
00:11:56,529 --> 00:11:58,729
I am gone forever!
195
00:12:01,634 --> 00:12:03,767
A little mall walk will cheer me up.
196
00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:10,307
Uh-oh, old guy. Don't make eye contact.
197
00:12:10,376 --> 00:12:12,743
Rubbing them is like
working dry lasagna.
198
00:12:13,879 --> 00:12:15,679
Old guy! Here he comes!
199
00:12:15,748 --> 00:12:17,481
He'll want to try all my lotion samples.
200
00:12:17,550 --> 00:12:20,284
I'll have to explain
what "send" is on a cell phone.
201
00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:28,692
Come in! Come in!
202
00:12:28,727 --> 00:12:30,694
Well, that's more like it.
203
00:12:37,836 --> 00:12:39,636
I had to cheat.
204
00:12:39,705 --> 00:12:42,206
I was doing it for the bell curve.
205
00:12:42,274 --> 00:12:45,309
And with 99% of the vote in,
206
00:12:45,377 --> 00:12:48,011
the next president is Lisa Simps...
207
00:12:48,047 --> 00:12:49,446
Wait a minute.
208
00:12:49,515 --> 00:12:52,883
I'm being told she cheated
on a paper in second grade.
209
00:12:52,952 --> 00:12:54,685
She is disqualified,
210
00:12:54,753 --> 00:12:57,487
making our next president Kenny Hitler.
211
00:12:57,556 --> 00:13:00,157
No!
212
00:13:01,694 --> 00:13:04,394
Hey, welcome to Bob Hope's USO Show,
213
00:13:04,463 --> 00:13:07,631
or as I like to call it,
Christmas away from Dolores.
214
00:13:09,034 --> 00:13:11,235
Oh, that could've been me
on those drums.
215
00:13:11,303 --> 00:13:14,338
I would've gotten to rehearse
at his house in Toluca Lake.
216
00:13:14,406 --> 00:13:16,139
Toluca Lake!
217
00:13:19,044 --> 00:13:20,344
What'll it be?
218
00:13:20,412 --> 00:13:23,513
Can an old vet have a beer
and tell you his troubles?
219
00:13:24,984 --> 00:13:26,083
Sure.
220
00:13:34,039 --> 00:13:37,769
And that's how I opened the orange.
221
00:13:44,541 --> 00:13:47,869
So, uh, my mother
didn't tell me I got in.
222
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,004
That's all right. You can enroll now.
223
00:13:50,073 --> 00:13:51,272
- Can I?
- No!
224
00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:53,774
This is a school, not an '80s comedy.
225
00:13:53,843 --> 00:13:55,676
That, uh, letter you sent me...
226
00:13:55,745 --> 00:13:57,511
is that something
you send every student?
227
00:13:57,580 --> 00:14:00,514
No, I only sent that once, to you.
228
00:14:00,583 --> 00:14:01,916
When you didn't show up,
229
00:14:01,951 --> 00:14:04,351
that was the second worst day
of my career.
230
00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:05,475
What was the worst?
231
00:14:05,476 --> 00:14:08,110
The day the Big Ten expanded
to 14 schools.
232
00:14:08,179 --> 00:14:09,745
What are we, morons?
233
00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:13,215
We didn't even notice till
Northwestern pointed it out.
234
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:18,061
Oh, I'm sorry, should I not have
told you about the letter?
235
00:14:18,062 --> 00:14:19,428
Uh, no.
236
00:14:19,463 --> 00:14:22,764
It's actually good,
because I'm no longer sad.
237
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,399
I'm angry!
238
00:14:24,468 --> 00:14:27,836
It's time for a furious
self-guided tour of this campus.
239
00:14:27,905 --> 00:14:29,337
♪ ♪
240
00:14:38,282 --> 00:14:41,116
I've never seen someone
walk the oval so many times.
241
00:14:41,185 --> 00:14:42,551
He's got to be dizzy.
242
00:14:42,619 --> 00:14:45,020
I switch directions
every other lap.
243
00:14:47,925 --> 00:14:49,891
- Oh, uh, Michigan sucks.
- What?
244
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,027
That's how we say "excuse me"
around here.
245
00:14:54,231 --> 00:14:57,365
♪ Loser, loser ♪
246
00:14:57,434 --> 00:15:00,435
♪ Loser, loser ♪
247
00:15:00,504 --> 00:15:02,204
♪ Missed opportunity ♪
248
00:15:02,272 --> 00:15:04,039
♪ All over now ♪
249
00:15:04,108 --> 00:15:06,174
♪ You poor bastard. ♪
250
00:15:06,243 --> 00:15:08,143
Et Tu, Brutus?
251
00:15:08,212 --> 00:15:09,778
Hey!
252
00:15:09,847 --> 00:15:13,982
Okay, Mother, it's time for
an unpleasant confrontation.
253
00:15:17,321 --> 00:15:19,888
Class, I'm going to hand back
your astronomy papers.
254
00:15:19,957 --> 00:15:21,623
Keep calm. Keep calm.
255
00:15:21,658 --> 00:15:23,825
No one knows you did anything wrong.
256
00:15:23,894 --> 00:15:26,228
Lisa Simpson, come to my desk.
257
00:15:28,165 --> 00:15:30,966
Miss Hoover, I have to confess.
I changed my paper.
258
00:15:31,034 --> 00:15:34,136
It said million,
but I knew it was billion.
259
00:15:34,204 --> 00:15:35,570
Oh, please.
260
00:15:35,639 --> 00:15:39,241
Maybe I can start a new life
in the other second grade class.
261
00:15:40,511 --> 00:15:41,910
I know you changed your paper.
262
00:15:41,979 --> 00:15:43,445
I don't care about your grade.
263
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,180
Where the hell is my nicotine gum?
264
00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:51,253
My brother had it, and he was
hanging around the class pet.
265
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:54,689
I'll get you some more gum.
266
00:15:54,758 --> 00:15:55,891
You do that.
267
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:57,592
♪ ♪
268
00:16:08,739 --> 00:16:10,172
Can I help you?
269
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:11,540
What are you doing here?
270
00:16:11,608 --> 00:16:13,441
Your mother rented me your room.
271
00:16:13,510 --> 00:16:15,844
You rented my room to the town drunk?
272
00:16:15,913 --> 00:16:18,513
I am also the state drunk.
273
00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:21,349
What do you want?
274
00:16:22,419 --> 00:16:24,586
You know?
275
00:16:24,655 --> 00:16:26,087
Yes. Yes, I do.
276
00:16:26,156 --> 00:16:28,156
Oh, son, forgive me.
277
00:16:28,192 --> 00:16:29,758
I'm so sorry.
278
00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:33,495
I just couldn't bear to lose you
like I'd lost everything else.
279
00:16:33,564 --> 00:16:37,032
Oh, I would've arranged for you
to live near me in the dorm.
280
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:39,467
Oh, I can't live in a college town.
281
00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:41,937
Can't control myself sexually.
282
00:16:42,005 --> 00:16:45,574
What you did to me was the worst
thing anyone could do to anyone,
283
00:16:45,642 --> 00:16:47,275
much less a mother to her son.
284
00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:49,144
I really don't know what you could say.
285
00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:52,113
Son, I guess when
you get right down to it,
286
00:16:52,182 --> 00:16:56,084
I've always felt marching bands
are a colossal waste of time.
287
00:16:56,119 --> 00:16:58,687
The music and the walking both suffer.
288
00:16:58,755 --> 00:16:59,855
You may have a point.
289
00:16:59,923 --> 00:17:03,225
And you'll always be my little tittle.
290
00:17:05,195 --> 00:17:07,162
- Is that a tear?
- Maybe.
291
00:17:12,002 --> 00:17:13,902
Please, I beg you.
292
00:17:13,971 --> 00:17:15,604
Will you move back in?
293
00:17:15,639 --> 00:17:17,472
There are gonna have to be some changes.
294
00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:19,274
What kind of changes?
295
00:17:19,309 --> 00:17:21,977
Well, I want the parental
controls taken off the TV.
296
00:17:22,012 --> 00:17:24,546
You'll just watch booby programs.
297
00:17:24,615 --> 00:17:26,815
If I'm in the booby mood, yes, I will.
298
00:17:26,884 --> 00:17:28,884
Welcome back, son.
299
00:17:28,952 --> 00:17:31,386
Looks like I got a little brother!
300
00:17:31,455 --> 00:17:32,888
He's not staying, is he?
301
00:17:32,923 --> 00:17:34,256
You boys work it out.
302
00:17:34,324 --> 00:17:36,591
We sure will, Ma.
303
00:17:40,664 --> 00:17:42,530
You still haven't found Grampa?
304
00:17:42,599 --> 00:17:46,701
No. But I found this guy
who's willing to take his place.
305
00:17:46,770 --> 00:17:48,136
I am Grandpapa.
306
00:17:48,205 --> 00:17:49,971
Gather the grandchildren
307
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:53,608
that we might play
the Hungry Hungry Hippos.
308
00:17:53,677 --> 00:17:56,611
I don't think anyone can
replace our Grampa.
309
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,313
Are you sure? Your husband...
310
00:17:58,382 --> 00:18:00,782
she looked through
hundreds of grandpapas.
311
00:18:00,851 --> 00:18:03,018
This was my third callback!
312
00:18:03,086 --> 00:18:04,519
Make a choice.
313
00:18:04,588 --> 00:18:06,988
Yello.
314
00:18:07,057 --> 00:18:10,392
Is this the no-good ungrateful
son of Abraham Simpson?
315
00:18:10,427 --> 00:18:12,394
- Speaking.
- I'm gonna send him back to you,
316
00:18:12,429 --> 00:18:14,429
and I don't want to see him here again.
317
00:18:14,464 --> 00:18:16,298
This place is really depressing.
318
00:18:16,366 --> 00:18:18,133
And he does not help.
319
00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:21,269
There's a pathetic old drunk
peeing himself in the bathroom.
320
00:18:21,338 --> 00:18:22,504
That's a mirror.
321
00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:24,940
And it's not the bathroom.
322
00:18:29,813 --> 00:18:31,913
When is Grampa gonna get here?
323
00:18:31,982 --> 00:18:33,048
I knew it.
324
00:18:33,116 --> 00:18:35,617
Still bad-mouthing me behind my back.
325
00:18:35,686 --> 00:18:39,087
I can't believe it,
but I miss him so much.
326
00:18:40,157 --> 00:18:41,556
I love him, too.
327
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:44,192
I just can't say it to his
beautiful shriveled turnip head.
328
00:18:44,227 --> 00:18:45,493
Aw.
329
00:18:45,562 --> 00:18:48,964
I love how he knows
what every building used to be.
330
00:18:48,999 --> 00:18:50,699
And Maggie says...
331
00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:56,338
U. R. A. D. Light.
332
00:19:00,744 --> 00:19:04,612
Come get your Grampa,
you sweet slices of melon.
333
00:19:05,649 --> 00:19:07,816
Aw.
334
00:19:07,851 --> 00:19:10,318
Aw, we love you.
335
00:19:12,356 --> 00:19:13,588
Woo-hoo!
336
00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:16,292
D'oh!
337
00:19:19,828 --> 00:19:20,894
What are you watching?
338
00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:22,429
It's a booby movie, isn't it?
339
00:19:22,498 --> 00:19:24,431
It's Emmy-winning premium cable.
340
00:19:24,466 --> 00:19:25,699
Do they show boobs?
341
00:19:25,768 --> 00:19:27,467
Not since they started winning Emmys.
342
00:19:27,536 --> 00:19:28,668
Very disappointing.
343
00:19:28,737 --> 00:19:30,771
Well, I guess I'll watch with you.
344
00:19:30,839 --> 00:19:32,072
What's that thing?
345
00:19:32,141 --> 00:19:34,174
It's a raven from
the Lannister's Maester.
346
00:19:34,243 --> 00:19:36,710
What's a Lannister? What's a Maester?
347
00:19:36,745 --> 00:19:38,345
House Lannister is the wealthiest...
348
00:19:38,413 --> 00:19:39,846
- Is that a dragon?
- Yes.
349
00:19:39,915 --> 00:19:41,581
This is stupid.
350
00:19:48,991 --> 00:19:51,591
♪ He walks down the street ♪
351
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:54,728
♪ He falls in a hole, man ♪
352
00:19:54,797 --> 00:19:57,030
♪ Everyone knows Hans Moleman! ♪
353
00:19:57,099 --> 00:19:58,099
Who?
354
00:19:58,100 --> 00:20:01,101
Nobody knows Hans Moleman.
355
00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:02,170
Next.
356
00:20:02,171 --> 00:20:04,371
I was here first.
357
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,441
♪ In the checkout line ♪
358
00:20:06,508 --> 00:20:08,742
♪ He doesn't even scan ♪
359
00:20:08,811 --> 00:20:10,844
♪ Nobody knows Hans Moleman. ♪
360
00:20:10,913 --> 00:20:14,080
I just need my heart pills.
361
00:20:14,149 --> 00:20:16,416
♪ Nobody knows Hans Moleman. ♪
25358
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